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Why NOT To Do a Startup.
 

Why NOT To Do a Startup.

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slides from my talk on "Why NOT to Do a Startup".

slides from my talk on "Why NOT to Do a Startup".
(updated from Tahoe Tech Talk - Oct 2010)

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  • Full Name Full Name Comment goes here.
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  • Some cheerful thoughts.
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  • Looked so funny, but sounded so true and apt to its core.
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  • soooo true and real.....but do it anyway :-D
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  • Even if the author was anonymous, I would have assumed Dave McClure. His advice reads like it's being shot at you. Much appreciated!
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  • Good lord this is awesome ! Really nice and made me smile (oh and happy SEP ;))
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    Why NOT To Do a Startup. Why NOT To Do a Startup. Presentation Transcript

    • Why NOTTo Do a Startup
      … because You Will FAIL, Loser.
      Dave McClure
      500startups.com
      Master of 500 Hats
      Tahoe Tech Talk - Oct 2010
      @DaveMcClure
    • #1: Yer a WANTrepreneur.
      You’re in this for all the Wrong reasons:
      You think it’s “So Fucking Cool” to do a startup
      You want to make LOTS of Money.
      You have Teh AwesomeTechnology Solution.
      The Right Reasons:
      You Live in Fear.
      You Can’t Get Laid.
      Something has been PISSING you off FOREVER.
      YOU ARE PASSIONATEABOUT [SOLVING] A [CUSTOMER] PROBLEM
    • #2: You are a FAT and LAZY SLOB
      You’ve worked at Microsoft for >5 yrs.
      You Drive a Nice Car & It’s Paid For.
      You Live in a Big House.
      You Don’t Worry About Paying Bills.
      You Want to Kiss The KidsGoodnight.
      You Your Spouse > Your Startup.
      tip: Doing a Startup is a Lesson in Pain & Sacrifice.
    • #3: You Have a BUSINESS PLAN,But No Product and No Customers.
      Bullshit Revenue Projection ----->
      (up & to the right)
      See: “Startup Metrics for Pirates”
    • #4: Your Idea SUCKS(and even your Mom thinks so)
      You Don’t Have a Working Prototype.
      Worse: Have Prototype, But No One Uses It.
      It Sucks a Lot More than the Competition.
      See: “Lean Startup (Ries) & Customer Development (Blank)”
    • #5: You Have Teh Awesome SOLUTION…to a PROBLEM that does not exist.
      See: “Your Solution
      Is Not My Problem”
    • #6: You’re a LOSER, not a LEADER.
      You Procrastinate. A Lot.
      You’re not Charismatic.
      You Get Beaten [Up] Regularly.
      Your Vision is usually Wrong.
      You’re Scared of Change.
      When Other People Tell You That You’re Wrong, You Believe Them.
      …and you’re Uglytoo, bitch.
      Watch: “Kick-Ass” or “Glee”
    • #7: Your Pitch Sucks & You Won’t Raise Money (or SuperAngelsCollude to Screw You Over)
      50 slides in your deck
      Technical Jargon
      Demo FAIL
      Clueless Investors
      EVIL Investors
      See: “How To Pitch a VC”
    • #8: Your Team Sucks, and You Have No Idea How to Hire (or Fire).
      No Technical Founders / Coders
      No Design / UX / Usability
      No Internet Mktg (Search, Social)
      No Mobileexpertise
      No Enterprise Sales / Biz Dev
      No Recruiter, or They Suck… Bad.
    • #9: CoFounders& Employees =Whiners.
      You WILL miss a payroll.
      Someone WILL eat last slice of pizza.
      There WILL be Office Politics.
      People WILL discover and compare salary & stock options.
      Someone WILL sueyer ass:
      Sexual Harassment
      Wrongful Termination
      Unhappy Customer
      Jealous Competitor
    • #10: You Can’t Sell or Market 4 Shit.
      You Don’t Know Marketing.
      You Think Marketing = TechCrunch.
      You Don’t Know What SEO stands for.
      You Think SEM = SEO.
      You Don’t Know or Use Social Platforms (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube).
      You’ve never built Facebook or iPhone App, or a Social Game.
      You’ve never sent an email campaign, written a blog post, or run an affiliate marketing campaign.
      See: “Startup-Marketing.com (Ellis)”
    • #11: You’d Rather Change the Channel Than Change The World.
      Wouldn’t you rather watch GLEE or Monday Night Football?
      Sure you would, Loser.
      Just relaaaaaxxxxxx.
      Fuck.
      That.
      Noise.
    • http://WarmGun.com
      Tahoe Tech Talk attendees
      use discount code TTT for 30% off