The Lighter Side
of English
By Dan Wilcox

Speling Madders

Speling Madders
Denise means “Goddess of Wine.”

Speling Madders
Denise means “Goddess of Whine.”

Speling Madders
Denise means “Goddess of Whine.”
He took her for granite.

Speling Madders
Denise means “Goddess of Whine.”
He took her for granite.
Let’s have a mouthful of desert.

Speling Madders
Should Tom Wright decide to
write right rite, then Wright would
write right rite, which Wright
has the right to copyright.

Word and Letter Order
Only only makes so much difference.

Word and Letter Order
Only only makes so much difference.
I only have eyes for you.

Word and Letter Order
Only only makes so much difference.
I only have eyes for you.
Only I have eyes for you.

Word and Letter Order
Only only makes so much difference.
I only have eyes for you.
Only I have eyes for you.
I have eyes for you only.

Word and Letter Order
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh
uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr
the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist
and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. Tihs
is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by
ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Regional Differences

Regional Differences
M R Ducks
M R Not
OSAR
C M Wangs?
LIB
M R Ducks

Regional Differences
Pennsylvania Dutch

Regional Differences
Pennsylvania Dutch
Lost: A watch by a lady with a cracked face.

Regional Differences
Pennsylvania Dutch
Lost: A watch by a lady with a cracked face.
Throw the baby out the window a kiss.

Regional Differences
Pennsylvania Dutch
Lost: A watch by a lady with a cracked face.
Throw the baby out the window a kiss.
Toss Papa down the stairs his hat.

Regional Differences
It is ineffectual to attempt to
indoctrinate a superannuated
canine with innovative
maneuvers.

Regional Differences
It is ineffectual to attempt to
indoctrinate a superannuated
canine with innovative
maneuvers.
It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

Context in Headlines

Context in Headlines
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing

Context in Headlines
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down
Jaywalkers

Context in Headlines
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down
Jaywalkers
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Punctuation

Punctuation
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about.
You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who
are not like you admit to being useless and
inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I
yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever
when we’re apart. I can be forever happy—will
you let me be yours?
Gloria

Punctuation
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about
you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who
are not like you. Admit to being useless and
inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I
yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever.
When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will
you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

The End