HOW TO PITCH BULLSHITMoritz Haarmann, @derwildemomo
Moritz HaarmannGTUG Stuttgart Founding Member Serial Entrepreneur & Routine Project Abandoner Social Media Expert Innovator!!!11!! Founder & CEO of Future adressable investment leads, inc ( F.A.I.L. )
What we talk about todayWhy it is necessary to learn how to pitch rightAvoid failingLearn to think like business peopleLearn to act convincingly! Use Technology like a Pro ( PowerPoint )How to analyze ideas
Bad Pitch„We are doing a Rails-based SaaS-Platform providingboth a GWT-Frontend for Users and a JSON/OAuthbased backend for developers to interact with ourservice, which helps ﬁnding bakeries nearby.“
Bad Pitch„We are doing a Rails-based SaaS-Platformproviding both a GWT-Frontend for Users and aJSON/OAuth based backend for developers tointeract with our service, which helps ﬁndingbakeries nearby.“
Bad Pitch„We are providing for Users to interact with ourservice, which helps ﬁnding bakeries nearby.“So, you‘ve just invented the yellow pages? => fail.
Good pitch„We aim to build a local social advertising platform,enabling millions of paying customers to explore theworld of hand made quality bread in the premiumsection of an ever groing market.“.Mention the words ROI, Exit and Growth ( Whilepointing towards the sky ) regularly before and afterpitching.
Better pitchAvoid textual content whenever possibleReal leaders and executives just don‘t have the timeThere are, although, technologies that help youcommunicate your content
ChartsAre, without a doubt, the secret of successfulentrepreneurs and business guys.Although ugly, misleading and overused, we should usecharts whenever possible.
ALWAYS USE 3CHARTS IN ANYPRESENTATION. Three-Chart-Rule
Three Chart RuleFor each third of your presentation or pitch, one chart.( It is a secret code among business people to use threecharts, an unwritten law. )First Chart: Solely to demonstrate your capability ofusing and creating charts.Second chart: Linear growthThird chart: Explosive growth or pie chart.
Smart Idea Pimpin‘Make extensive use of Buzzwords. Always. In yourhead.Web2.0, Social, Mobile and Cross-Media is a goodstarting point.Hands-On: Find yourself 5 Buzzwords you feelcomfortable with. Become one with them.
Pitching all the timeYou need to be convinced of the bullshit your pitchingyou will fail hard if you are not.Failure is not an option.