The Enigma of Bullying


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Bulliying is a fact in where ever we go. Its a reality that oftentimes disregard as an infantile actions and way go unnoticed in the inward world of the bullied person. What is really the reality inside of a victim of bullying? What are the different kinds and categories of Bullying?

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The Enigma of Bullying

  1. 1. The Enigma of Bullying Deexan Cases
  2. 2. What is Bullying?Bullying is persistent unwelcome behavior, mostly unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance.
  3. 3. Why do People bully?The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc; good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is managing; bullying is not managing. Therefore, anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy.
  4. 4. Bullies project their inadequacy on toothers: To avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it. To avoid accepting responsibility for their behavior and the effect it has on others. To reduce their fear of being seen for what they are, namely a week, inadequate and often incompetent individuals. To divert attention away from their inadequacy.
  5. 5. Bullying…. Is obsessive and compulsive, has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target. Is a form of abuse and present behind all forms of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, persecut ion, conflict and violence. What bullies fear most is exposure of their inadequacy and being called publicly to account for their behavior and its consequences.
  6. 6. A bully is a person who Has never learn to accept responsibility for their behavior. Wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable unwilling to accept the responsibility that are a prerequisite for being part of adult world. Abdicates and denies responsibility for their behavior and its consequences. Is unable and unwilling to recognize the effect of their behavior on others. Does not want to know of any other way of behaving.
  7. 7. Types of BullyingPressure bullying or unwitting bullying is where stress of the moment causes behavior to deteriorate; the person becomes short- tempered, irritable and may shout or swear at others. Everybody does this from time to time, but when the pressure is removed, behavior returns to normal, the person recognizes the inappropriateness of their behavior, make amends and may apologize and crucially learns from the experience so that next time the situation arises they are better able to deal with it. This is “normal” behavior and I do not include pressure bullying in my definition of workplace bullying.
  8. 8. Types of Bullying Organizational Bullying is a combination of pressure bullying and corporate bullying, and occurs when an organization struggles to adapt to changing markets, reduced income cuts in budgets, imposed expectations and other external pressures. Corporate bullying is where the employer abuses the impunity knowing that the law is weak and jobs are scarce. ◦ “encourages” employees (with promises of promotion and/or threats of disciplinary action) to fabricate complaints about their colleagues.
  9. 9. Types of Bullying Institutional bullying is similar to corporate bullying and arises when bullying becomes entrenched and accepted as part of the culture. Usually used word is “agree to this or else”. Client bullying is where employees are bullied by those they serve. ◦ Ex.  Nurses are bullied by patients and their relatives.  Social workers are bullied by their clients.  Shop/Bank/Building society staff are bullied by customers.
  10. 10. Types of Bullying Serial bullying is where the source of all dysfunction can be traced to one individual, who picks on one employee after another and destroys them. Secondary bullying is mostly unwitting bullying which people start exhibiting when there’s a serial bully in the department. The pressure of trying to deal with a dysfunction, divisive and aggressive serial bully causes everyone’s behavior to decline.
  11. 11. Types of Bullying Pair bullying is a serial bully with a colleague. Often one does the talking whilst the other watchers and listens. Usually it’s the quiet one you need to watch. Usually the are off opposite gender and frequently there’s an affair going on. Gang bullying is a serial bully with colleague. Gangs can occur anywhere, but flourish in corporate bullying climates. Vicarious bullying is where two parties are encouraged to engaged in adversarial interaction or conflict. Similar to gang bullying, although the bully may or may not be directly connected with either of the two parties.
  12. 12. Types of Bullying Regulation bullying is where a serial bully forces their target to comply with rules, regulations, procedures or laws regardless of their appropriateness, applicability or necessity. ◦ Legal bullying is the bringing of a vexatious legal action to control and punish a person is one of the nastiest forms of bullying.
  13. 13. Types of Bullying Residual Bullying is the bullying of all kinds that continues after the serial bully has left. Like recruits like and like promotes like, therefore the serial bully bequeaths a dysfunctional environment to those who are left. This can last for years.
  14. 14. Types of Bullying Cyber Bullying is the misuse of email systems or Internet forums, etc. for sending aggressive flame mails. Serial bullies have few communication skills (and often none), thus the impersonal nature of emails makes it an ideal tool for causing conflict. Sometimes called cyber stalking.
  15. 15. In environment where bullying is the norm, most people will eventually either becomes bullies or become targets. There are few bystanders, as most people will eventually be sucked in. It’s about survival: you either adopt bullying tactics yourself and thus survive by not becoming a target, or you stand up against bullying and refuse to join in, in which case you are bullied, harassed, victimized and scapegoat until your health is so severely impaired that you have a stress breakdown.
  16. 16. People who are bulliedPeople who are bullied find that they are: Constantly criticized and subjected to destructive criticism (often euphemistically called constructive criticism, which is an oxymoron)- explanation and proof of achievements are ridiculed, overruled, dismissed or ignored. Forever subject to nit-picking and trivial fault-finding (the triviality is the giveaway)
  17. 17.  Isolated and excluded from what’s happening (this makes people more vulnerable and easier to control and subjugate) Singled out and treated differently (for example, everyone else can have long lunch breaks but if they are one minute late it’s a disciplinary offense) Belittled, degraded, demeaned, ridiculed, patronized, subject to disparaging remarks
  18. 18.  Regularly the target of offensive language, personal remarks, or inappropriate bad language The target of unwanted sexual behavior Threatened, shouted at and humiliated, especially in fronts of others Taunted and teased where the intention is to embarrass and humiliate
  19. 19.  Set unrealistic goals and deadlines which are unachievable or which are changed without notice or reason or whenever they get near achieving them Denied information or knowledge necessary for undertaking work and achieving objectives Starved of resources, sometimes whilst others often receive more than they need
  20. 20.  Denied support by their manager and thus find themselves working in a management vacuum Either overloaded with work (this keep people busy [with no time to tackle bullying] and makes it harder to achieved targets) or have all their work taken away (which is sometimes replaced with inappropriate menial jobs such as photocopying, filing, making coffee)
  21. 21.  Have there responsibility increased but their authority removed Have their work plagiarized, stolen and copied-the bully then presents their target’s work as their own Denied annual leave, sick leave, or- especially-compassionate leave When on leave, are harassed by calls at home or on holiday, often at unsocial hours
  22. 22.  Encouraged to feel guilty, and to believe they’re always the one at fault Subjected to unwarranted and unjustified verbal or written warnings Facing unjustified disciplinary action on trivial or specious or false charges Coerced into reluctant resignation, enforced redundancy, early or ill-health retirement
  23. 23. A favorite tactics of bullies which helps them evade detection is to undertake a “reorganization” at regular intervals.This has several advantages: anyone whose face doesn’t fit can be organized out through downsizing (redundancy) or transfer ditto anyone who challenges the reorganization
  24. 24.  ditto, their jobs can be “regarded” or “redefined” to the person’s disadvantage each reorganization is a smokescreen for the bully’s dysfunctional behavior- everyone is so busy copying with the reorganization (chaos) that the bully’s behavior goes unnoticed the bully can always claim to be reorganizing in the name of “efficiency” and therefore be perceived by those above as a strong manager
  25. 25. Why me?
  26. 26. There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are consistent between cases. There are many myths and stereotypes such as “victims are weak”. Bullying often repeats because the reasons that bullies target their victims don’t change. Hence if we experienced being bullied we should start ask ourselves:“Why do I keep getting bullied?”“Why do bullies continue to bully me?”
  27. 27. How do bullies select theirtargets?The bully selects their target using the following criteria: Bullies are predatory and opportunistic Being good are your job, often excelling Being popular with people More than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear
  28. 28.  Being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional Having a well- defined set of values which you are unwillingly to compromise Having a strong sense of integrity Having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited Being too old or too expensive (usually both) Refusing to join an established clique Showing independence of thoughts or deed Refusing to become a corporate clone and drone Jealousy (of relationships and perceived exclusion there from)and envy (of talents, abilities, circumstances or possessions) are strong motivators of bullying.
  29. 29. Events that trigger bullyingBullying starts after one of these events: The previous target leaves There’s a reorganization A new manager is appointed Your performance unwittingly highlights, draws attention to, expose or invites unfavorable comparison with the bully’s lack of performance You may have unwittingly become the focus of attention whereas before the bully was the centre of attention
  30. 30.  Obvious display of affection, respect or trust from co-workers Refusing to obey an order which violates rules, regulations, procedures, or is illegal Standing up for a colleague who is being bullied – this ensures you will be the next; sometimes the bully drops their target and turns their attention to you immediately Blowing the whistle on incompetence , malpractice , fraud, illegality, breaches of health & safety regulations etc.
  31. 31.  Undertaking trade union duties Suffering illness or injury, whether work related or not Challenging the status quo, especially unwittingly Gaining recognition for your achievements Gaining promotions
  32. 32. Personal qualities that bulliesfind irresistibleTargets of bullying usually have these qualities: Popularity Competence Intelligence and intellect Honestly and integrity Your trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable A well developed integrity which you’re unwillingly to compromise
  33. 33.  Your always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the same Successful, tenacious, determined, courag eous, having fortitude A sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness Imaginative, creative, innovative Idealistic optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of self, family, the employer and the world ability to master new skills
  34. 34.  Ability to think long terms and to see the bigger picture Sensitivity Slow to anger Helpful Giving and selfless Difficulty saying no Diligent, industrious Tolerant Strong sense of honour
  35. 35.  Irrepressible An inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to ther people’s opinions of oneself Low propensity to violence A strong forgiving streak A desire to always think well of others Being unwilling to lower standards A strong well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise or abandon
  36. 36.  High expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people in positions of power who abuse power Low assertiveness A need to feel valued Quick to apologize when accused, even if not guilty Perfectionism Higher – than – average levels of dependence, naivety and guilt A strong sense of fair play and a desire to always be reasonable
  37. 37.  High coping skills under stress, especially when the injury to health becomes apparent A tendency to internalize anger rather than express it
  38. 38. Whats the difference betweenbullying and harrassment?Acts of harassment usually centre around unwanted, offensive and intrusive behaviour with a sexual, racial or physical component. Significantly, the Protection from Harassment Act accords emphasis for the first time on the target’s perception of the harassment rather than the perpetrator’s alleged intent.At present, if one is being bullied and is white, British, able bodied and the same gender as the bully, one is not currently covered by discrimination law.
  39. 39. Definition of harassment and bullying vary and there is much overlap. The essential between harassment and workplace bullying are as follows: Harassment Workplace bullying•Has a strong physical component •Almost exclusively psychological, maye.g. contact and touch in all its become physical later, especially withforms, intrusion into personal space male bullies, but almost never withand possessions , damage to female bulliespossessions including a person’swork, etc. •Few people recognize bullying•Everyone can recognizeharassment, especially if there’s anassault, indecent assault or sexualassault •Workplace bullying tends to fixate on trivial criticisms and false allegations•Harassment often reveals itself of underperformance; offensive wordsthrough use of recognized offensive rarely appear, although swear wordsvocabulary, e.g. (“bitch”, “coon”, etc.) may be used when there are no witnesses
  40. 40. Sample of misconceptions thatleads to bullying;