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Peer relationships and dating[1]
 

Peer relationships and dating[1]

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    Peer relationships and dating[1] Peer relationships and dating[1] Presentation Transcript

    • Peer Relationships and Dating
    • Bell Ringer
      List all of the qualities you can think of that you would want in a friend. (5 min)
      Go around and have everyone name one
      List them on the board
      Talk about “in order to have this kind of a friend, you have to BE a friend like this”. (10) min
    • Friendship
      • Common attribute s of friendships:
      • Similar values, interests, beliefs, and attitudes
      • Open and honest communication
      • Sharing of joys, disappointments, dreams, and concerns
      • Mutual respect, caring, and support
      • Concern about each other’s safety and well-being
      “Researchers have found that people generally form close relationships with individuals who share similar goals, values, or interests. Other studies suggest that people get along better with individuals whose personalities compliment their own.”
    • Different Types of Friendships
      Casual Friendships
      Share interests but not deep emotional bonds
      Close Friendships
      Strong emotional ties. Feel comfortable sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
      Platonic Friendships
      A friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple.
      One-Sided Friendships
      is a friendship in which one person does most of the giving and the other person does most of the receiving.
    • Building Strong Friendships
      Good Friends:
      Reinforce your values
      Motivate you
      Show empathy
      Treat you with fairness
      Share your interests
      Accept you for who you are
      Support you
      Loyalty
    • “A true friend is someone who is willing to take you the way you are, but leaves you better than they found you.”
    • Cliques
      • A clique is a small circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders.
      • Mean Girls Clip (5 min)
      • Do you think YOU are a member of a clique?
      • How can cliques be harmful?
    • 3 Purposes of Dating
    • Dating Activity
      20 minutes
      Split up the boys and the girls
      Give them each a paper with two columns
      Dating “Do”’s and Dating “Don’t”’s
      10 minutes to come up with lists
      10 minutes to share
    • Fun Dating Ideas
      • Bonfires
      • Bike-riding
      • Hike the Y
      • American Fork Canyon Hikes
      • Have a picnic
      • Mini golfing
      • Make dinner
      • Progressive Dinner
      • Dollar Movie
      • Weird utensil dinner
      • Scavenger hunts
      • Temple Square
      • Museum
      • Tour Christmas Lights around the city
      • Carve Pumpkins
      • Make and decorate sugar cookies
      • Outdoor Movie
      • Murder Mystery Dinner
      Bookstore
      Ice-blocking
      Board Games
      School plays/University Plays
      Hide and go seek in Wal-Mart
      Batting Cages
      Color me Mine
      Service Projects
      Make a treat and doorbell ditch them
      Finger-painting
      Frisbee Golf
      Play at a playground
      Laser light show in Salf Lake
      Dollar Store Date
      Bowling
      Fondue Party
      Build a snowman
      Water –balloon fight
      Side-walk chalk
    • Personal Dating Stories
      5-10 minutes
      Mrs. Day’s First Date
      Ms. Stephan’s First Prom
      Mrs. Day’s Homecoming
    • Fun Things We’ve Done
      Horseback riding
      Alpine Slide at Park City
      Laser Tag
      Starburst Bowling
      Make ugly Christmas sweaters
      D.I. Date
      Thanksgiving Point
      Tumbling Gym
    • 5 Love Languages
      Words of Affirmation
      • Giving compliments and encouragement
      Quality Time
      • Not only being with them but giving them all of your attention
      Receiving Gifts
      • Gifts can be visual symbols of love
      Acts of Service
      • Giving simple acts of service like giving them your coat or opening the car door
      Physical Touch
    • Love, Lust, and Infatuation
      • Lust: physical attraction which is interpreted as love.
      • Infatuation: temporary strong feelings of passion and/or admiration.
      • So what is love???
      • “When you love someone, his or her happiness becomes as important, or even more important than your own.”
    • Love, Lust, and Infatuation
      “Perhaps it is no coincidence that the American divorce peak corresponds perfectly with the normal duration of infatuation –2-3 years.”
      - Helen Fisher, PhD
    • Setting Limits in Dating
      Why is it important to set limits?
      • Avoid late hours
      • Avoid bedrooms and closed doors
      • Avoid being alone at home
      • Don’t “park”
      • Avoid sexually explicit material
      • Don’t use drugs or alcohol
      • Remember thoughts proceed actions
      • Show true caring and respect for each other
    • The Benefits of Abstinence
      More self respect and more respect for each other
      Security that you are not being pursued for sexual reasons
      Greater chance of faithfulness in marriage & trust in your partner’s ability to control him/herself with other people
      Chance to develop more in-depth relationships
      Freedom from pregnancy, consequences of making abortion/adoption decisions, and raising a child while you are still a child yourself.
      Freedom from sexually transmitted diseases.
      Freedom from emotional injury, uncertainty of your partner’s motive/commitment, feeling sexually used, and scars from past memories.
      The consequences of your decisions impact the rest of your life. It allows or restricts future choices and freedoms.
    • *Why Wait to Date?
      • Ageof First date % of People who had Pre-marital Sexual Relations
      12 91%
      13 56%
      14 53%
      15 40%
      16 20%
    • Qualities of an Unhealthy Relationship
      Controlling
      Manipulation
      Verbal insults
      Mean language
      Put downs
      Physical violence
      Isolation from family and friends
      -If you find yourself justifying them
      Intimidation or threats
    • Dating Violence
      • 1 in 11 teens report being a victim of physical dating abuse each year
      • 1 in 4 teens report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse each year
      • 1 in 5 teens report being a victim of emotional abuse
      • 1 in 3 teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or otherwise physically hurt by his or her partner
      • Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their dating relationships continue to date their abuser
      • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up
      • Almost 70% of young women who have been raped knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or causal acquaintance
      • Teen dating abuse most often takes place in the home of one of the partners
    • I have the right to:
      Be treated with respect always
      My own body, thoughts, opinions, and property
      Choose and keep my friends
      Change my mind-at any time
      Not be abused-physically, emotionally, or sexually
      Leave a relationship
      Say “NO”
      Be treated as an equal
      Disagree
      Live without fear and confusion from my boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s anger
    • Video Clip
      Rhiana and Dating Violence (5-10 min)
    • Getting Help
      Tell your parents, friends, and trusted adults about whets going on
      Have fun with good friends
      Its okay to be sad
      National Domestic Violence Hotline
      800-799-SAFE