Peer relationships and datingPresentation Transcript
Peer Relationships and Dating
Bell Ringer List all of the qualities you can think of that you would want in a friend. (5 min) Go around and have everyone name one List them on the board Talk about “in order to have this kind of a friend, you have to BE a friend like this”. (10) min
Similar values, interests, beliefs, and attitudes
Open and honest communication
Sharing of joys, disappointments, dreams, and concerns
Mutual respect, caring, and support
Concern about each other’s safety and well-being
“Researchers have found that people generally form close relationships with individuals who share similar goals, values, or interests. Other studies suggest that people get along better with individuals whose personalities compliment their own.”
Different Types of Friendships Casual Friendships Share interests but not deep emotional bonds Close Friendships Strong emotional ties. Feel comfortable sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Platonic Friendships A friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple. One-Sided Friendships is a friendship in which one person does most of the giving and the other person does most of the receiving.
Building Strong Friendships Good Friends: Reinforce your values Motivate you Show empathy Treat you with fairness Share your interests Accept you for who you are Support you Loyalty
“A true friend is someone who is willing to take you the way you are, but leaves you better than they found you.”
A clique is a small circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders.
Mean Girls Clip (5 min)
Do you think YOU are a member of a clique?
How can cliques be harmful?
3 Purposes of Dating
Dating Activity 20 minutes Split up the boys and the girls Give them each a paper with two columns Dating “Do”’s and Dating “Don’t”’s 10 minutes to come up with lists 10 minutes to share
Fun Dating Ideas
Hike the Y
American Fork Canyon Hikes
Have a picnic
Weird utensil dinner
Tour Christmas Lights around the city
Make and decorate sugar cookies
Murder Mystery Dinner
Bookstore Ice-blocking Board Games School plays/University Plays Hide and go seek in Wal-Mart Batting Cages Color me Mine Service Projects Make a treat and doorbell ditch them Finger-painting Frisbee Golf Play at a playground Laser light show in Salf Lake Dollar Store Date Bowling Fondue Party Build a snowman Water –balloon fight Side-walk chalk
Personal Dating Stories 5-10 minutes Mrs. Day’s First Date Ms. Stephan’s First Prom Mrs. Day’s Homecoming
Fun Things We’ve Done Horseback riding Alpine Slide at Park City Laser Tag Starburst Bowling Make ugly Christmas sweaters D.I. Date Thanksgiving Point Tumbling Gym
5 Love Languages Words of Affirmation
Giving compliments and encouragement
Not only being with them but giving them all of your attention
Gifts can be visual symbols of love
Acts of Service
Giving simple acts of service like giving them your coat or opening the car door
Love, Lust, and Infatuation
Lust: physical attraction which is interpreted as love.
Infatuation: temporary strong feelings of passion and/or admiration.
So what is love???
“When you love someone, his or her happiness becomes as important, or even more important than your own.”
Love, Lust, and Infatuation “Perhaps it is no coincidence that the American divorce peak corresponds perfectly with the normal duration of infatuation –2-3 years.” - Helen Fisher, PhD
Setting Limits in Dating Why is it important to set limits?
Avoid late hours
Avoid bedrooms and closed doors
Avoid being alone at home
Avoid sexually explicit material
Don’t use drugs or alcohol
Remember thoughts proceed actions
Show true caring and respect for each other
The Benefits of Abstinence More self respect and more respect for each other Security that you are not being pursued for sexual reasons Greater chance of faithfulness in marriage & trust in your partner’s ability to control him/herself with other people Chance to develop more in-depth relationships Freedom from pregnancy, consequences of making abortion/adoption decisions, and raising a child while you are still a child yourself. Freedom from sexually transmitted diseases. Freedom from emotional injury, uncertainty of your partner’s motive/commitment, feeling sexually used, and scars from past memories. The consequences of your decisions impact the rest of your life. It allows or restricts future choices and freedoms.
*Why Wait to Date?
Ageof First date % of People who had Pre-marital Sexual Relations
12 91% 13 56% 14 53% 15 40% 16 20%
Qualities of an Unhealthy Relationship Controlling Manipulation Verbal insults Mean language Put downs Physical violence Isolation from family and friends -If you find yourself justifying them Intimidation or threats
1 in 11 teens report being a victim of physical dating abuse each year
1 in 4 teens report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse each year
1 in 5 teens report being a victim of emotional abuse
1 in 3 teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or otherwise physically hurt by his or her partner
Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their dating relationships continue to date their abuser
Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up
Almost 70% of young women who have been raped knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or causal acquaintance
Teen dating abuse most often takes place in the home of one of the partners
I have the right to: Be treated with respect always My own body, thoughts, opinions, and property Choose and keep my friends Change my mind-at any time Not be abused-physically, emotionally, or sexually Leave a relationship Say “NO” Be treated as an equal Disagree Live without fear and confusion from my boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s anger
Video Clip Rhiana and Dating Violence (5-10 min)
Getting Help Tell your parents, friends, and trusted adults about whets going on Have fun with good friends Its okay to be sad National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE