'Parenting in the digital age' on slideshare

Parenting in the digital age A presentation and workshop by David Truss

Please visit http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/ to find out about this presentation and to see all the resources online. ‘ Handout’ notes: http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/ Engaging-with-kids Videos: http://drop.io/digitalkids (if YouTube is blocked) Blog post: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/parenting-in-the-digital-age/

About David Truss A husband and father to two girls, 8 and 10 years old Principal of Dalian Maple Leaf Foreign Nationals School Blogger about Education, Technology and Learning http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/black-and-white-education/ My journey into technological and networked learning: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/who-are-the-people-in-your-neighbourhood/ or see the Brave-New-WWW video in the presentation drop: http://drop.io/digitalkids

• Children’s use of technology • Potential challenges around technology use • Practical, proactive parenting strategies - to maintain connections with children - to guide children in appropriate and safe use • Where to find support and resources to better understand these issues Learning Intentions: We will examine, explore and question…

Have you ever? Clicked on a Pop-up advertisement? Or believed that something online was ‘free’? Given up trying to find information online? Spent time at work ‘surfing’ the net? Given out your email password to a website? (Or other private information?) Found something ‘bad’ that you were were not looking for?

Steering Clear of Cyber Tricks by the YouTube Team http://www.youtube.com/v/MrG061_Rm7E Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids

Have you ever? Signed up for a social network? (Besides Facebook?) Sent your kid a text? (Besides making plans to pick them up, or asking them where they are or if their homework is done?) Shared a photo online? Or downloaded a song? Made an online friend? (That you have never met.)

Bulletin Board by www.cybertipline.com http://www.youtube.com/v/ja8xtQNQYDQ Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids

Tell-All Generation Learns to Keep Things Offline In the Pew study, to be released shortly, researchers interviewed 2,253 adults late last summer and found that people ages 18 to 29 were more apt to monitor privacy settings than older adults are , and they more often delete comments or remove their names from photos so they cannot be identified. Younger teenagers were not included in these studies… New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/fashion/09privacy.html?th&emc= th

As a kid, did you ever? Go somewhere your parents didn’t want you to go? (Or break your curfew?) Do something dangerous? (Or just really stupid?) Ignore your parent’s advice?

As kids, we took risks , and chances … Many we remember fondly, and many that we would not want our children to repeat! We did most of this outside of our parent’s knowledge .

Two key ways that we learn something are: 1. Trying something new 2. Making mistakes Our children will make mistakes… How do we handle this? How do we minimize the risk? How do we permit them to learn?

Questions?

YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 BACKGROUND & CONTEXT • There’s no one-size-fits-all, once-and-for-all solution to providing children with every aspect of online child safety. Rather, it takes a comprehensive “toolbox” from which parents, educators, and other safety providers can choose tools appropriate to children’s developmental stages and life circumstances, as they grow... In essence, any solution to online safety must be holistic in nature and multi-dimensional in breadth. • To youth, social media and technologies are not something extra added on to their lives; they’re embedded in their lives. Their offline and online lives have converged into one life. They are socializing in various environments, using various digital and real-life “tools,” from face-to-face gatherings to cell phones to social network sites, to name just a few. • Because the Internet is increasingly user-driven, with its “content” changing in real-time, users are increasingly stakeholders in their own well-being online. Their own behavior online can lead to a full range of experiences, from positive ones to victimization, pointing to the increasingly important role of safety education for children as well as their caregivers. The focus of future task forces therefore needs to be as much on protective education as on protective technology. http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OSTWG_Final_Report_060410.pdf … (Let me summarize this for you)

YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 BACKGROUND & CONTEXT YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 • It takes a “toolbox” – holistic approach, that is appropriate to a child’s age/development • To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life. • More internet content is created by children, so: • Safety and protective education are more important than ever!

• It takes a “toolbox” – holistic approach, that is age appropriate to a child’s age/development Let’s start here: • To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life. • More internet content is created by children, so: • Safety and protective education are more important than ever!

http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/warlicks-k12-online-keynote-06 / “ I come from the Batman era, adding items to my utility belt, while students today are the Borg from Star Trek, assimilating technology into their lives.” many

To the fish, water is invisible.

Tech is invisible

Tech is invisible However…

This is a staged photo:

This is a staged photo: Technology may be ‘invisible’, but we can choose how pervasive it will be. My children do not have a phone, or a computer in their room; their computer time is monitored, and they ask before watching television or playing video games.

Tech is invisible Technology: It’s invisible to them… It is invisible to us too!

We are not known as ‘ The Phone Generation’. Our parents are not known as ‘ The Car Generation’. It is invisible to us too!

What did your parents think about the amount of time you spent on the phone, or borrowing the car? What did these ‘tools’ provide you with?

Why do kids go online/use technology? What needs does this meet?
Fun
Independence
Communication
Connection
Adventure
Creation
Sense of Belonging
Risk
Being heard
Privacy

Don't fence me in by jen_kelsey on flickr We had more FREEDOM than most kids do today!

BUT…

Did you also watch a lot of TV as a kid?

Back then we passively sat and watched this tool!

“ I was a bit bored last week, so I edited some old Bert & Ernie episodes to the sound of M.O.P.'s Ante Up.” Film student: Stian Stianhafstad on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/v/21OH0wlkfbc Back then we passively sat and watched this tool!

Now the tools are participatory and engaging !

Gaming can be very beneficial: + Fun, freedom, excitement, challenge + visual resolution + spatial coordination + hand-eye coordination (training for microscopic surgery) + Leadership & Cooperation skills

“… an effective World of Warcraft guild master amounts to a total-immersion course in leadership.” http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.04/learn.html

Flow Theory - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Flow Theory - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi SKILLS CHALLENGES Apathy Worry Anxiety Arousal FLOW Control Relaxation Boredom

BUT…

Gaming can be problematic: - games can be violent & have little value - addictive and time consuming

How much time is ‘used’ playing games? What games does your child play? How often? Is this a problem for your family?

Online, you can also find a community with similar interests and passions...

To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life.
Fun
Independence
Communication
Connection
Adventure
Creation
Sense of Belonging
Risk
Being heard
Privacy

To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life.
Fun
Independence
Communication
Connection
Adventure
Creation
Sense of Belonging
Risk
Being heard
Privacy
They want the same things we wanted as kids, but just like we found these things in different ways than our parents , they are finding them in different ways than us!

Questions?

YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 SUBCOMMITTEE ON INTERNET SAFETY EDUCATION Summary: In the late ‘90s, experts advised parents to keep the family Internet connected computer in a high- traffic part of the house, but now parents must account for Internet access points built into many digital devices, including cell phones. Research has told us that many of the early significant concerns regarding children and their use of the Internet, such as predation, exist but not nearly in the prevalence once believed. Other risks, such as cyberbullying, are actually much more common than thought – starting as early as 2nd grade for some children. Meanwhile, “new” issues such as “sexting” garner a great deal of media attention, though recent studies suggest it is not quite as common as initially believed. Given all the above and the finding of the preceding task force (the ISTTF) that not all youth are equally at risk, it now seems clear that “one size fits all” is not a good strategy. Instead, a strong argument can be made for applying the Primary/Secondary/Tertiary model used in clinical settings and risk-prevention programs to Internet safety. This “levels of prevention” method would represent a tailored and scalable approach and factor in the high correlation between offline and online risk. The approach would also work in concert with non-fear-based, social-norms education, which promotes and establishes a baseline norm of good behavior online. http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OSTWG_Final_Report_060410.pdf … (Let me summarize this for you)

YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 SUBCOMMITTEE ON INTERNET SAFETY EDUCATION • Many access points makes monitoring difficult • Predators & issues like ‘Sexting’ exist, but are not as prevalent as thought (or as media suggests) • Cyberbullying is more prevalent than usually thought & starts younger than expected • One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’ • Non-fear-based, social norms education YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010

Common advice still heard today: “ Keep your family computer in a central location.” But that advice isn’t enough anymore… • Many access points makes monitoring difficult

• Predators & issues like ‘Sexting’ exist, but are not as prevalent as thought (or as media suggests) Sexting definition: (a combination of the words "sex" and "texting"), it is the slang term for the use of a cell phone or other similar electronic device to distribute pictures or video of sexually explicit images. It can also refer to text messages of a sexually-charged nature.

“ Predators go after kids that lack information/knowledge and kids that do not have clear boundaries about what is and what isn’t appropriate. This was confirmed with research where predators , who had at least 10 victims, were interviewed and asked what they looked for in a ‘target’ . Time and again they looked for the naive , uncertain , kids that had limited knowledge, or vocabulary , pertaining to sex.” http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/lets-talk-about-sex /

• Cyberbullying is more prevalent than usually thought & starts younger than expected Will your child come to you for help?

The Kitchen by the Ad Council http://www.youtube.com/v/NbtajOvAU10 Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids

“ If we (educators and parents) don’t participate with students online , then we run the risk of having misguided or inexperienced friends, or worse yet bullies, becoming greater influences than us in their lives. Gordon Neufeld calls it ‘peer orientation’ in his book, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. ” http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/facing-facebook/

Questions? Speaking of questions… How good are the questions you ask your kids?

Sort Of Dunno Nothin' by Peter Denahy http://www.youtube.com/v/_veIGGP1Uh4 Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids

Start with meaningful communication
• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’

- Get online… ( ask them for help )
- Share
- Communicate… ( in their spaces )
- Interact
- Play games… ( with them )
- Engage
- Watch… ( let them teach you )
- Create
- Develop… ( expectations with them )
• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’

How much computer time should my child have? http:// raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com /Parents-as- Partners

What will YOU do?
Generate expectations (Proactive)
Have the conversations and generate ownership
Use prompts (YouTube videos, case-based scenarios, teachable moments)
Establish a response “plan” (Reactive)
Be available to “support not punish”
Preserve your attachment (Caring parent)
• Non-fear-based, social norms education

• Non-fear-based, social norms education

Remember this? Parent <- Responsibility -> Child

Consistency Matters! • Online Behavior • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others

Consistency Matters! • Online Behavior • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others High Expectations Matter! (A part of the continuum of things we monitor, model and mentor our kids about with high expectations for appropriate behavior.) • Online Behavior • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others

Questions? http://RaisingDigitalKids.wikispaces.com/ http://RaisingDigitalKids.wikispaces.com/ Engaging-with-kids

Homework
1. Find out what websites & games your child uses, and what networks they belong to.
( Let them teach you about one of them.)
2. Create some expectations and guidelines about internet use with your child.
3. Join a social network!
(e.g. Windows Live , Facebook, Club Penguin, Youtube, ePets, Twitter, WebKins, etc.)

Parenting in the digital age A presentation and workshop by David Truss http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com Thank You for coming! http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/

Presentation by David Truss http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com Photo and source credits (by slide #) 1 & 66 Digital Katie by David Truss 3 School Limits by David Truss on Toondoo 6 YouTube Comment by XDiamondXLoveX on YouTube 11 Dave Leaps by Ann Truss 12 Kai Leaps by David Truss on Flickr 18 & 19 Fisch by gertrudk on Flickr 20-25, & 48 Cassie, Invisible Tech by David Truss 26-27 Phone by Pete Prodoehl on Flickr 26-27 Classic Cars by hiro008 on Flickr 29 Don't fence me in by jen_kelsey on Flickr 34 World of Warcraft Wedding by Ramon Snellink on Flickr 41 Cleveland Public Library in SL: Life Size Chess Set by bcg8 on Flickr 42 web2.0 tools by function (Brian Solis & Jess3 by josemota on Flickr 51 & 61 The Bully Wins by David Truss on Toondoo Special Thanks to Dave Sands: http://connectandprotect.wikispaces.com/

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by David Truss on Jun 26, 2010

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