There is an accompanying wiki with this presentation: http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/Engaging-with-kids
...
There is an accompanying wiki with this presentation: http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/Engaging-with-kids
and here is my blog post about it:
http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/parenting-in-the-digital-age/
See the 'notes on slides' for presentation suggestions.
Welcome to the presentation! I’ve written these notes as ‘presenter notes’ rather than ‘presentation notes’. Although these notes are a guide to present the slideshow, they also share information that parents and viewers may also find useful. Blog post about this presentation: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/parenting-in-the-digital-age/ Feedback is appreciated: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/contact If you use this presentation, I’d love to know how it went, and I have two requests: 1. Give credit for all images, resources and quotes, as I did. 2. Use a similar Creative Commons license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ Thank you!
Go to the drop box http://drop.io/digitalkids to see all the videos used in this presentation and a couple more too. You can download the videos in advance if you don’t have internet access for your presentation.
If you are presenting this yourself, please feel free to delete this page and add your own information! After this I had participants share (I added a slide that said, “Your Turn”). IF you have access to computers… We used Today’s Meet: http://www.todaysmeet.com as a backchannel and I asked, “ Who are you, where are you from [we are expats in China making this relevant], and how old are your children?” as a start to the conversation.
[In my slides I added these one-by-one.]
Discussed: -Pop-ups now have interactive games to draw kids in -Internet can be challenging to navigate/a distraction -Many get ‘stung’ by tricks and share too much online, not just kids [In my slides I added these one-by-one and made the previous questions grey to de-emphasize them.]
[I embedded the video and then showed the comment response I found on YouTube after the video.]
Two good topics to discuss: 1. Using communication methods like texting to ‘connect’ and not just to organize and plan. “I hope you are having a good day!” 2. The definition of a ‘friend’ extends to many more levels than we had growing up. [In my slides I added these one-by-one and made the previous questions grey to de-emphasize them.]
I embedded this video. It relates more to the next slide, not the previous one.
This sounds good, BUT I talked about the false sense that teens and young adults have about monitoring privacy equating with actually privacy and described how we are as private as our LEAST private friend. Also talked quickly about digital permanency and the WayBackMachine. Relates well to the previous slide/video.
See the next 2 slides to understand where I was going with these questions. Might be good to have the audience share some of the things they did on Today’s Meet to look at for the first question period. [In my slides I added these one-by-one and made the previous questions grey to de-emphasize them.]
The first of many slides emphasizing that kids today are meeting the same needs we did, and starting us thinking about the questions on the next slide.
Not the only way to learn, but 2 important ways. Key questions for this presentation! The key message of the last three slides: Students aren’t doing anything ‘different’ than we were, they are just looking for the same things in a different place, (online).
A good time to look at ‘Today’s Meet’ as well as answer audience questions.
Don’t stay on this slide long… the next slide summarizes it.
The first time I said this: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/warlicks-k12-online-keynote-06/ Why I added the word, ‘many’: There are some very tech savvy adults and some not-so savvy students around! I spoke about this metaphor, and how I am more Batman than Bork, adding things to my ‘utility belt’ whereas students embed tools into their daily lives. I also mentioned Mark Prensky and the idea of ‘digital natives’: http://www.marcprensky.com/writing/Prensky%20-%20Digital%20Natives,%20Digital%20Immigrants%20-%20Part1.pd -Although I mentioned this is just My key point is coming in the next few slides.
A great metaphor that my friend Dave Sands uses in his parent presentations.
They live in a liquid environment, but they don’t ‘see’ the water around them.
Note: One (important) tool that I accidently missed putting in this image was a cell phone.
This is one of the several time in this presentation that I talk about the importance of parents being decision makers in the technology use of their children. See http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/Engaging-with-kids “… The younger your child is, the more the decisions should be made for them, the older they are, the more involved they should be in the decision making... but parents still have final say!
This is something we also need to realize.
Phones were around before our generation, but we were probably the first generation to have multiple phones in the house and perhaps even in our bedrooms. Cars were around before our parents, but they were probably the first generation to have more than one car around whereby they could ‘borrow’ one from mom and dad freely. Note: Presenting this in China to an international audience I was keenly aware that these examples may have a North American bias!
“ What did these ‘tools’ provide you with?” - Discussion I created a .doc of this slide that I went to after this slide and had the participants create a list of answers. A copy of this document can be found here: http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/file/view/Parenting-Digital-Age-Tech-Audience-List.doc The next slide has a list already, (as related to kids, not adults). Discuss similarities on this kid’s list and the one you create with parents. Here are some that my participants came up with through this activity: • Communicate with friends •Time saved •Relationships •Risk taking •Freedom • Connection •Friendships •Source of info •Independence •Privacy •Daring [The 2 nd sentence came up first, then the 1 st /top sentence came up and the 2 nd one faded to grey.]
Continued discussion about what ‘technology’ tools like phones and cars provided ‘us’ and how the ‘needs’ of children today are being met online. Emphasis again that kids today want the same things we did, they just look in different places, and they are forced to seek these online because of a point made on the next slide… [*Presentation notes: I have an Apple MacBook and I used ‘Spaces’ so that my Powerpoint was in one space and my opened document (mentioned and linked to in the slide notes of the previous slide) was in another. That way I could cut back and fourth between spaces (using Exposé) without having to restart the Powerpoint.]
I got to stay out until the street lights came on and my parents really had no idea where I was! Is that true today for most kids? Probably not! For many kids, they are always ‘within sight of us’ until they get online.
I watched hours and hours of tv. I sat watched and re-watched silly sitcoms and cartoons.
I embedded the video over the TV screen. Although this is an example from a young adult rather than a kid, it exemplifies how even television shows are no longer just a passive thing. There is a whole subculture that does this to Japanese Anime, some creating music videos and some creating whole new storylines.
Gaming is something (that can be) very social these days, this is a wedding happening in World of Warcraft. Every avatar in the image represents a real person that chose to participate in this social event. [I actually had this gaming image imposed over the TV from the previous slide and then the TV faded out as the laptop faded in.]
Do you want your pilot landing at one of the busiest airports in the world without having practiced a few simulated landings first?
The complexity in decision-making, teamwork and people skills in gaming today can be more meaningful training than an MBA! http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.04/learn.html
10 minutes of fun feels like 3, and 10 minutes of boredom feels like an hour. Time flies when we are in flow. Video game makers have this all figured out. (Educators can learn a lot from the gaming industry!)
There can be issues of ‘gaming life’ being more engaging, interesting and participatory than ‘real life’. A real discussion with a parent who was driving her son home in their car: “Mom, you get 100 points if you hit that pedestrian” –It was meant as a joke, but is that the kind of joke we want ‘our’ kid thinking is funny?
“How often is your child gaming or online?” There are no ‘right’ answers to this, what is important is that it is discussed and parameters are set as a family.
I couldn’t find one of these relating specifically to where kids connect online, but the idea here is that there are so many social spaces online where people of all ages are creating community around different interests.
This list is from slide 28.
Don’t stay on this long… next slide summarizes
Again, don’t spend long here, each point will be presented in the following slides.
It’s still good advice, but when the internet goes into their bedrooms through other tools as well, expectations need to be set.
Sonya Livingston London School of Economics: In 1,000,000 children 5 of them molested on the internet, and 50,000 of them in the home or the neighbourhood! (Info heard hear: http://blip.tv/file/3333374 via Howard Rheingold)
Teaching your child about online safety and increasing their background knowledge, (very relevant to sex education as well), is an excellent way to keep them safe.
This is an important question. If they don’t go to you, then who do they go to?
I embedded this video. This conversation would never happen in ‘real life’ but similar conversations happen all the time online. Bullying and cyberbulling do not usually happen within the view of adults. Which leads well into the next slide.
The cartoon on slide 51 can also be seen on this post. http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/facing-facebook/
After the questions I added the: “Speaking of questions… How good are the questions you ask your kids?” -As a lead in to the next slide/video
I embedded this video. It serves as a light-hearted break in the presentation (I even made it stretch break in my first presentation) It’s also good as a discussion point on kinds of conversations you have with you kids and also quality of the questions you ask.
See the next slide…
Pick one or two and talk about how to do these with kids.
Good questions on this subject, http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/Parents-as-Partners Remember, even more questions can be found on this ‘hand-out’ page: http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/Engaging-with-kids
Fear doesn’t work… smoking warnings prove this. Another key point: “Support not punish” – This doesn’t mean that you can’t have consequences, but rather that you start with expectations and expected behavior. Without creating expectations, any changes to a family’s patterns of their digital tools use that is later ‘imposed’ seem like punishment.
Again, you can pick one or two and share examples. My notes on blocking or banning as they relate to education: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/warning-we-filter-websites-at-school/ Filtering and controlling do far less than monitoring and engaging (participating) with your child.
The key is creating a relationship where both parent and child know what their responsibilities are to each other.
We want to be consistent and show high expectations around appropriate behavior in these areas. And... (Note the next slide.)
…Online behavior is an extension of this, not something different with different behavioral expectations.
Any last questions before I give you your homework?
A chance to take what’s been learned beyond this presentation.
Feedback appreciated! http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/contact Blog post about this presentation: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/parenting-in-the-digital-age/
If you add or delete slides, these slide numbers will change. Feedback appreciated! http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/contact Blog post about this presentation: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/parenting-in-the-digital-age/
’Parenting in the digital age’ on slidesharePresentation Transcript
Parenting in the digital age A presentation and workshop by David Truss
Please visit http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/ to find out about this presentation and to see all the resources online. ‘ Handout’ notes: http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/ Engaging-with-kids Videos: http://drop.io/digitalkids (if YouTube is blocked) Blog post: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/parenting-in-the-digital-age/
About David Truss A husband and father to two girls, 8 and 10 years old Principal of Dalian Maple Leaf Foreign Nationals School Blogger about Education, Technology and Learning http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/black-and-white-education/ My journey into technological and networked learning: http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/who-are-the-people-in-your-neighbourhood/ or see the Brave-New-WWW video in the presentation drop: http://drop.io/digitalkids
• Children’s use of technology • Potential challenges around technology use • Practical, proactive parenting strategies - to maintain connections with children - to guide children in appropriate and safe use • Where to find support and resources to better understand these issues Learning Intentions: We will examine, explore and question…
Have you ever? Clicked on a Pop-up advertisement? Or believed that something online was ‘free’? Given up trying to find information online? Spent time at work ‘surfing’ the net? Given out your email password to a website? (Or other private information?) Found something ‘bad’ that you were were not looking for?
Steering Clear of Cyber Tricks by the YouTube Team http://www.youtube.com/v/MrG061_Rm7E Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids
Have you ever? Signed up for a social network? (Besides Facebook?) Sent your kid a text? (Besides making plans to pick them up, or asking them where they are or if their homework is done?) Shared a photo online? Or downloaded a song? Made an online friend? (That you have never met.)
Bulletin Board by www.cybertipline.com http://www.youtube.com/v/ja8xtQNQYDQ Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids
Tell-All Generation Learns to Keep Things Offline In the Pew study, to be released shortly, researchers interviewed 2,253 adults late last summer and found that people ages 18 to 29 were more apt to monitor privacy settings than older adults are , and they more often delete comments or remove their names from photos so they cannot be identified. Younger teenagers were not included in these studies… New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/fashion/09privacy.html?th&emc= th
As a kid, did you ever? Go somewhere your parents didn’t want you to go? (Or break your curfew?) Do something dangerous? (Or just really stupid?) Ignore your parent’s advice?
As kids, we took risks , and chances … Many we remember fondly, and many that we would not want our children to repeat! We did most of this outside of our parent’s knowledge .
Two key ways that we learn something are: 1. Trying something new 2. Making mistakes Our children will make mistakes… How do we handle this? How do we minimize the risk? How do we permit them to learn?
Questions?
YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 BACKGROUND & CONTEXT • There’s no one-size-fits-all, once-and-for-all solution to providing children with every aspect of online child safety. Rather, it takes a comprehensive “toolbox” from which parents, educators, and other safety providers can choose tools appropriate to children’s developmental stages and life circumstances, as they grow... In essence, any solution to online safety must be holistic in nature and multi-dimensional in breadth. • To youth, social media and technologies are not something extra added on to their lives; they’re embedded in their lives. Their offline and online lives have converged into one life. They are socializing in various environments, using various digital and real-life “tools,” from face-to-face gatherings to cell phones to social network sites, to name just a few. • Because the Internet is increasingly user-driven, with its “content” changing in real-time, users are increasingly stakeholders in their own well-being online. Their own behavior online can lead to a full range of experiences, from positive ones to victimization, pointing to the increasingly important role of safety education for children as well as their caregivers. The focus of future task forces therefore needs to be as much on protective education as on protective technology. http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OSTWG_Final_Report_060410.pdf … (Let me summarize this for you)
YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 BACKGROUND & CONTEXT YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 • It takes a “toolbox” – holistic approach, that is appropriate to a child’s age/development • To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life. • More internet content is created by children, so: • Safety and protective education are more important than ever!
• It takes a “toolbox” – holistic approach, that is age appropriate to a child’s age/development Let’s start here: • To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life. • More internet content is created by children, so: • Safety and protective education are more important than ever!
http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/warlicks-k12-online-keynote-06 / “ I come from the Batman era, adding items to my utility belt, while students today are the Borg from Star Trek, assimilating technology into their lives.” many
To the fish, water is invisible.
Tech is invisible
Tech is invisible However…
This is a staged photo:
This is a staged photo: Technology may be ‘invisible’, but we can choose how pervasive it will be. My children do not have a phone, or a computer in their room; their computer time is monitored, and they ask before watching television or playing video games.
Tech is invisible Technology: It’s invisible to them… It is invisible to us too!
We are not known as ‘ The Phone Generation’. Our parents are not known as ‘ The Car Generation’. It is invisible to us too!
What did your parents think about the amount of time you spent on the phone, or borrowing the car? What did these ‘tools’ provide you with?
Why do kids go online/use technology? What needs does this meet?
Fun
Independence
Communication
Connection
Adventure
Creation
Sense of Belonging
Risk
Being heard
Privacy
Don't fence me in by jen_kelsey on flickr We had more FREEDOM than most kids do today!
BUT…
Did you also watch a lot of TV as a kid?
Back then we passively sat and watched this tool!
“ I was a bit bored last week, so I edited some old Bert & Ernie episodes to the sound of M.O.P.'s Ante Up.” Film student: Stian Stianhafstad on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/v/21OH0wlkfbc Back then we passively sat and watched this tool!
Now the tools are participatory and engaging !
Gaming can be very beneficial: + Fun, freedom, excitement, challenge + visual resolution + spatial coordination + hand-eye coordination (training for microscopic surgery) + Leadership & Cooperation skills
“… an effective World of Warcraft guild master amounts to a total-immersion course in leadership.” http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.04/learn.html
Flow Theory - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Flow Theory - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi SKILLS CHALLENGES Apathy Worry Anxiety Arousal FLOW Control Relaxation Boredom
BUT…
Gaming can be problematic: - games can be violent & have little value - addictive and time consuming
How much time is ‘used’ playing games? What games does your child play? How often? Is this a problem for your family?
Online, you can also find a community with similar interests and passions...
To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life.
Fun
Independence
Communication
Connection
Adventure
Creation
Sense of Belonging
Risk
Being heard
Privacy
To children, technology is embedded and not an add-on to face-to-face life.
Fun
Independence
Communication
Connection
Adventure
Creation
Sense of Belonging
Risk
Being heard
Privacy
They want the same things we wanted as kids, but just like we found these things in different ways than our parents , they are finding them in different ways than us!
Questions?
YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 SUBCOMMITTEE ON INTERNET SAFETY EDUCATION Summary: In the late ‘90s, experts advised parents to keep the family Internet connected computer in a high- traffic part of the house, but now parents must account for Internet access points built into many digital devices, including cell phones. Research has told us that many of the early significant concerns regarding children and their use of the Internet, such as predation, exist but not nearly in the prevalence once believed. Other risks, such as cyberbullying, are actually much more common than thought – starting as early as 2nd grade for some children. Meanwhile, “new” issues such as “sexting” garner a great deal of media attention, though recent studies suggest it is not quite as common as initially believed. Given all the above and the finding of the preceding task force (the ISTTF) that not all youth are equally at risk, it now seems clear that “one size fits all” is not a good strategy. Instead, a strong argument can be made for applying the Primary/Secondary/Tertiary model used in clinical settings and risk-prevention programs to Internet safety. This “levels of prevention” method would represent a tailored and scalable approach and factor in the high correlation between offline and online risk. The approach would also work in concert with non-fear-based, social-norms education, which promotes and establishes a baseline norm of good behavior online. http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OSTWG_Final_Report_060410.pdf … (Let me summarize this for you)
YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010 SUBCOMMITTEE ON INTERNET SAFETY EDUCATION • Many access points makes monitoring difficult • Predators & issues like ‘Sexting’ exist, but are not as prevalent as thought (or as media suggests) • Cyberbullying is more prevalent than usually thought & starts younger than expected • One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’ • Non-fear-based, social norms education YOUTH SAFETY ON A LIVING INTERNET: REPORT OF THE ONLINE SAFETY AND TECHNOLOGY WORKING GROUP JUNE 4, 2010
Common advice still heard today: “ Keep your family computer in a central location.” But that advice isn’t enough anymore… • Many access points makes monitoring difficult
• Predators & issues like ‘Sexting’ exist, but are not as prevalent as thought (or as media suggests) Sexting definition: (a combination of the words "sex" and "texting"), it is the slang term for the use of a cell phone or other similar electronic device to distribute pictures or video of sexually explicit images. It can also refer to text messages of a sexually-charged nature.
“ Predators go after kids that lack information/knowledge and kids that do not have clear boundaries about what is and what isn’t appropriate. This was confirmed with research where predators , who had at least 10 victims, were interviewed and asked what they looked for in a ‘target’ . Time and again they looked for the naive , uncertain , kids that had limited knowledge, or vocabulary , pertaining to sex.” http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/lets-talk-about-sex /
• Cyberbullying is more prevalent than usually thought & starts younger than expected Will your child come to you for help?
The Kitchen by the Ad Council http://www.youtube.com/v/NbtajOvAU10 Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids
“ If we (educators and parents) don’t participate with students online , then we run the risk of having misguided or inexperienced friends, or worse yet bullies, becoming greater influences than us in their lives. Gordon Neufeld calls it ‘peer orientation’ in his book, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. ” http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com/facing-facebook/
Questions? Speaking of questions… How good are the questions you ask your kids?
Sort Of Dunno Nothin' by Peter Denahy http://www.youtube.com/v/_veIGGP1Uh4 Are you behind a filter that prevents you from viewing YouTube? Also available here for viewing or downloading: http://drop.io/digitalkids
Start with meaningful communication
• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’
- Get online… ( ask them for help )
- Share
- Communicate… ( in their spaces )
- Interact
- Play games… ( with them )
- Engage
- Watch… ( let them teach you )
- Create
- Develop… ( expectations with them )
• One size does not fit all – ‘levels of prevention’
How much computer time should my child have? http:// raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com /Parents-as- Partners
What will YOU do?
Generate expectations (Proactive)
Have the conversations and generate ownership
Use prompts (YouTube videos, case-based scenarios, teachable moments)
Establish a response “plan” (Reactive)
Be available to “support not punish”
Preserve your attachment (Caring parent)
• Non-fear-based, social norms education
• Non-fear-based, social norms education
Remember this? Parent <- Responsibility -> Child
Consistency Matters! • Online Behavior • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others
Consistency Matters! • Online Behavior • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others High Expectations Matter! (A part of the continuum of things we monitor, model and mentor our kids about with high expectations for appropriate behavior.) • Online Behavior • Respecting others • Being polite • Being kind to others • Appropriate language • Completing homework • Helping others
1. Find out what websites & games your child uses, and what networks they belong to.
( Let them teach you about one of them.)
2. Create some expectations and guidelines about internet use with your child.
3. Join a social network!
(e.g. Windows Live , Facebook, Club Penguin, Youtube, ePets, Twitter, WebKins, etc.)
Parenting in the digital age A presentation and workshop by David Truss http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com Thank You for coming! http://raisingdigitalkids.wikispaces.com/
Presentation by David Truss http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com Photo and source credits (by slide #) 1 & 66 Digital Katie by David Truss 3 School Limits by David Truss on Toondoo 6 YouTube Comment by XDiamondXLoveX on YouTube 11 Dave Leaps by Ann Truss 12 Kai Leaps by David Truss on Flickr 18 & 19 Fisch by gertrudk on Flickr 20-25, & 48 Cassie, Invisible Tech by David Truss 26-27 Phone by Pete Prodoehl on Flickr 26-27 Classic Cars by hiro008 on Flickr 29 Don't fence me in by jen_kelsey on Flickr 34 World of Warcraft Wedding by Ramon Snellink on Flickr 41 Cleveland Public Library in SL: Life Size Chess Set by bcg8 on Flickr 42 web2.0 tools by function (Brian Solis & Jess3 by josemota on Flickr 51 & 61 The Bully Wins by David Truss on Toondoo Special Thanks to Dave Sands: http://connectandprotect.wikispaces.com/
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