Parenting in digital world
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  • This story today will be about protection, relationships, risk and the technology which is changing them. We all want to protect our kids, Ive got two and one on the way…
  • KID proofing…..From when they are little, bashing into things such as tables, Child proofing the house
  • To smoking, drugs, drinking,
  • Think back. Do you remember a time when you felt this. 2 mins. A toy? A place? An event/This is what my kids are in awe of at this week – an elastic band
  • Playing and building relationships,Relationships are complex and even adults struggle with them
  • How things change when we go back and revisit. Its never the same?Life is about relatonships and that’s what makes things good
  • BUT Our attitudes to risk have changed, risk assessment, firemen going inotbuidlings, school trips, annectdote: Risk assessmenent for Surrey safe drive stay alive
  • Study shows 70% of kids don’t go outside enough. Why do you think that is…pauseCircle of mobility restricted by parentsCommunication Technology also has an effect
  • Cyberspace is an enlightening and exciting place for children andyoung people; as an integral element of their social and academicworld, it is key that schools and teachers know how bullying can take place online and techniques to tackle it. Current thinking on combating the problem. up-to-the-minute advances and practical approaches tomake the internet a safe and happy place for all students.ICT can provide a wonderful platform for inclusion, but how it also opens real safeguarding issues for those already vulnerable offline.
  • So...we have already talked about the skills learned through online activities and the opportunities these create, but what about the not so nice things that can happen online? What can go wrong, what are the risks?Can anybody tell me something that worries them about their child being online? [Possible answers – Bullies, inappropriate content, strangers]
  • LMIRL lets meet in real lifeAge sex locationParent in room
  • Video2
  • Whilst cyberbullying itself is not illegal, it may very well involve behaviour that breaks criminal law, in particular Protection from Harassment Act 1997, which has both criminal and civil provision, Malicious Communications Act 1988, Section 43 of the Telecommunications Act 1984 Communications Act 2003 and Public Order Act 1986.
  • Activity on ypur table how many are you on?
  • Can anybody name the risks associated with social networking? Sharing personal informationUnwanted contact from strangers Unhealthy networking – Visiting groups and pages which are not appropriate for their age Inappropriate content – this is an adult site and the content is self generated. over usage – How many times a day does your child check their Facebook account?
  • Talk to your child about their social networking accounts. Ask them to be “friends” with you and take these simple steps: Security settings need to be set to “Friends only”; that includes comments, posts and photosThese “Friends” need to be people they know and trust in the real world Content - Only post content and photos they wouldn't mind showing you!Try your very best to be “Friends” with your child on Facebook Learn how to report an issue directly to Facebook
  • If you have any questions which relate directly to Facebook, please visit their family safety centre for help and advice – www.facebook.com/safety  
  • Can anybody tell me the names of the gaming sites their child uses? As you will know, gaming is very different to how it used to be. Put Pacman and Tetris to the back of your mind and think MMORPG – this means that a game is a Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, which in short means that a site can have unlimited users and the game never ends.Many gaming sites allow you to play and communicate against other users all over the world. One of the most popular ways for children to kill time is on their games consoles. Put your hands up if you have a console in your home? Keep your hand up if it links to the internet? The majority of these do, which means your child can link to other users, talk and play against them. How long do you feel is an acceptable amount of time for your child to be spending online of a school evening? There is no specific guidance set around this subject, so as a parent you need to set boundaries and rules on acceptable usage. Ensure they have enough time to do their homework of an evening and spend some time doing a technology free activity. A screen should not be the last thing they see before they go to bed!
  • Some of the risks which your child can encounter on a game console are:Inappropriate content – other users typing or saying (over headset) abusive language Unwanted contact – other players wishing to play against you that you do not know or trust Overuse – children can spend a large amount of time on games consoles and internet based games.
  • Tips Make sure the laptop, computer or games consoles are not located in your child’s bedroom. They need to be in a family space so you can see when they are using them and who they are talking to, possibly through the VoIP (headsets) that many of these games have.The majority of all games consoles link to the internet, please do not forget this. Treat them and set safety rules just like you would on a laptop or PC Open up communication – talk to your child about the sites they are using and why they like them.Explain that people lie online and they are not always who they say they are Explain that people can be mean and don't always have their best interests at heart Ask them to never give out personal information Set parental controls – visit the service provider’s website or CEOP’s parents’ pages for help Set time limits on how long they can game for. Allow time for non-technology based activities and allow an hour screen free time before bed
  • PEGI (The Pan-European Game Information age rating system) was established in 2003 in order to help European parents to make informed decisions about the games children play.Just think of them like age rating systems for films. If the game has 3+ it is suitable for a player of 3 years and over; if the game has 18+, you need to be 18 or over. Do not let your child tell you otherwise. I have heard stories of children telling their parents that this is an ability level! As well as the age ratings, there are symbols to go alongside. These will give you a better indication of what the game is about. Some games such as Grand Theft Auto will have all of these symbols.I am sure we have avid parent gamers in the audience tonight, hands up? What are your favourite games? That’s great, I am sure by knowing these technologies so well, you will be able to easily find the parental controls. I would ask you to be careful with the types of games you play with and in front of your child. Turning the sound down on an 18+ game is not a parental control! Please visit www.pegi.infofor more information
  • Talking privately is a normal and natural thing to want to do. Adults would possibly meet someone for a coffee or call their friends, but Children like to IM, Facebook chat or BBM.
  • RisksWindows Live Messenger or IM (Instant Messenger) is a private chat service which anyone can use as long as you have a hotmail account. One of the exciting things about IM is that it has the ability to use a webcam. You will recognize if your child uses this area, by the amber flashing bars at the bottom of the screen. In a recent survey (Ofcom 2011) 52% of 11-16 year old internet users say they find it easier to be themselves online, 47% talk about different things online than offline, and 27% talk about more private things online than when with other people face to face.Offenders know this and use areas such as IM and others to groom children. They know that in this area they can chat privately and build relationships and trust over time. The key message is simple: your children need to (just like the advice for social networking), only have friends that they know and trust in the real world. They must never give out personal information and if they feel uncomfortable, must report. There will be advice on reporting at the end of this session. Webcams – As I mentioned IM has webcam capability and so do many of the new and up and coming sites, such as Chatroulette and Tinychat. Webcam gives the other person an insight into your personal life and home. Children need to be aware of the type of information that is visible in the room they are in (not the bedroom) and remove anything that could make them vulnerable. Full name on certificates, pieces of work from school etc..Make sure you turn the webcam away from the room or off when it is not being used. There are ways of switching these on remotely, without you knowing! BBM – please put your hands up if your child owns a Blackberry phone? One of the main reasons for teenagers insisting on having this phone is down to its messenger capability. They can link with friends who also have a Blackberry and chat for free and in private. This can mean that they never turn off BBM and spend hours messaging. Make sure you set boundaries and downtime for all technologies.These “friends” need to be real world friends; it is also advisable that you ask your child to only place photos and updates on their BBM that they wouldn’t mind showing you.
  • Tips Ask your child to never accept communication from people they don’t know and trust in the real world Inform them that giving out personal information can be dangerous. They need to treat personal information such as the school they go to or their location like their tooth brush and not share it with anyone else!Ask them not to webcam with people they do not know from the real world and turn the webcam off after use! Teach them how to report a problem and to delete people that make them feel uncomfortable
  • Mobiles. How did we ever live without them? They’re a great way to keep in touch with friends and family and, if you’ve got a smartphone, check in on your Facebook when you are out and about. There are apps for just about anything and the possibilities for entertainment are endless. Think of mobiles as mini computers, this way you will understand that safety measures need to be in place. 
  • What do you think your child uses a mobile phone for? [Wait for answers and click through boxes on the screen]Talking/chatting Texting Going online Taking photos Sharing their location The majority of these phones are fitted with GPS, which is fantastic when you are lost and need Google Maps assistance as it can pin point you on a map and tell you exactly where you are and how to get to your destination.However, this function is now being used on sites such as Facebook and Foursquare. You can now tell people your exact location by ‘checking in’. As an extra – play facebook places clip from youtube –www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbiH0DxmPc8]So if you “check in” this is shared on your social network profile and all of your ‘friends’ can see where you are. Let’s remember not everyone is who they say they are online. People can tag you in places, which you may not want to share with everyone you know. You can protect yourself and your child by changing settings in the privacy settings area. It has never been more important for your child to know who they are taking to and the information they are sharing.
  • Some of the risks are as follows:Images can be taken and uploaded. With the introduction of digital media, we have lost the time to process what we are going to do with a particular image. Within seconds it can be taken and uploaded online.Location Personal messaging Over Usage
  • Tips A good time to allow your child to have a phone is when it is needed. i.e leaving the house alone – starting secondary school Before buying a mobile find out what functions it has – Internet, private messaging, built in applications Set parental controls where required – talk to the service provider Do not allow mobiles in the bedroom at night; insist that they need to be charged overnight in your bedroom or the kitchen
  • I am now going to tell you about where you and your children can go for more help and advice. I advise that you go home and talk to your children about the sites they use, open up communication channels. Explain that you understand why they enjoy using these sites; however you would like them to use them safely. You may trust your child, but do you trust everyone else on the internet? Keep them safe by being a part of their online life, become friends on Facebook or game against each other on their favorite site. Set boundaries, rules and block illegal and inappropriate material.For further support about cyberbullying you and your child can visit a fantastic site called www.cybermentors.org.uk . They are a charity who specialise in this subject area and give a safe place for your child to talk openly about their feelings with other young children.Once again, visit ClickCEOP for to make a report if someone is being inappropriate with your child online. And lastly, inform your child that if they have an issue and they feel they cannot talk to anyone they know, they can always call Childline in confidence (it won’t even show up on the phone bill) – 0800 1111
  • Lastly, these are a few steps for you to go through, use it as a tick list; it’s a good place to start. I have asked my child to show me sites they use I have asked my child to set the security settings on all the technologies they use I have asked my child to only accept people they know and trust in the real world as online “Friends” I have set safe settings on our computer/laptop and set filters on my child’s smart phone My child has agreed to tell me if they are worried about something online
  • Once again, all the information we have discussed is provided in further detail on CEOP’s parents pages.Don't forget the CEOP challenge. Please go home and spread the word.I hope this session has been useful and I have given you some things to think about.

Parenting in digital world Presentation Transcript

  • 1. Images source: Nathalie Noret, YHGfL/ABA Cyberbullying Conference
  • 2. What worries you?
  • 3. Quick Quiz What is: • KIK • POS • POSW • ASL • LMIRL • PIR • Notch • IM • GTAIV • Habbo Hotel • Binweevils • BBM
  • 4. It was discovered that Hannah actually posted 90% of the abuse herself.
  • 5. Daniel Perry Blackmailed over Skype. Tricked into sending images. Trend for this type of crime is increasing.
  • 6. Sites
  • 7. Which devices?
  • 8. The social network
  • 9. What they like to do….
  • 10. How they access the web
  • 11. Why do you need to be here?
  • 12. Children need new strategies for: Source: Munch, Poke and Ping report
  • 13. Recent trends online in EU • • • • • • • • • Cyberbullying, sexting Hate sites Pro-anorexic sites Self harm sites Drug forums Suicide sites Identity theft Grooming Lack of Parental engagement Source: EU Kids Online Report, 2013
  • 14. What are we seeing in UK • SNS is becoming number 1 platform for bullying (80% in some cases) and taking a huge amount of man power to resolve. • Mobile usage and data • IM use via SN • Chatrooms and message boards • Email • Webcams • Video hosting sites • Games (and online content) • Consoles and games devices • Virtual worlds
  • 15. Barriers against children reporting abuse: May not be listened to Embarrassment May not be believed Unable to communicate the abuse Adults might tell someone else Not knowing who to tell Understanding or recognising abuse Fear of consequences Adults not sympathetic Lack of control Previous/current Believe it is their own experience of racism fault
  • 16. Social Networking
  • 17. Examples of cyberbullying and SN Source: Bebo.com
  • 18. Social Networking Risks  Sharing personal information  Unwanted contact  Unhealthy networking  Inappropriate content  Overuse
  • 19. Tips  Security settings need to be set to “Friends only”, that includes - comments, posts and photos  These “Friends” need to be people they know and trust in the real world  Content - Only post content and photos they wouldn't mind showing you!  Try your very best to be “Friends” with your child on Facebook  Learn how to report an issue directly to Facebook  Trend: Children moving from facebook to sites like bebo which are not as well known…or old.
  • 20. Gaming
  • 21. Risks  Inappropriate content and language (de-sensitised to swearing, sex, violence, gambling, drugs)  Unwanted contact  Overuse Leaky services such as Dropbox
  • 22. Take control….  Leave all gaming devices in a family space where possible – the loss of control starts when TV and other media given to children, put in rooms with no rules, limits or acceptable use.  Open up communication - talk about the games  Remember that people lie online and they are not always who they say they are  Remember that people can be mean online and don’t always have their best interests at heart  Ask them to never give out personal information  Set parental controls, ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMAS with new hardware  Set time limits on how long they can game for. Allow time for non-technology based activities and allow an hour ‘screen free’ time before bed
  • 23. PEGI PEGI (The Pan-European Game Information age rating system) was established in 2003 to help European parents make informed choices Violence - Game contains depictions of violence Discrimination - Game contains depictions of, or material which may encourage, discrimination Sex - Game depicts nudity and/or sexual behaviour or sexual references Drugs - Game refers to or depicts the use of drugs Fear - Game may be frightening or scary for young children Bad Language - Game contains bad language
  • 24. Instant Messaging and Private Chat
  • 25. Risks  Unwanted contact  Webcam capability – is this safe?  Private moments  Usage
  • 26. Take control…  Remember never to accept people they don’t know and trust in the real world  Giving out personal information can be dangerous. They need to treat personal information such as the school they go to or their location like their tooth brush and not share it with anyone!  Ask them not to webcam with people they do not know from the real world and turn the webcam off after use!  Know how to report a problem and delete people that make them feel uncomfortable
  • 27. Mobile Technology The most popular mobile for children in schools is overwhelmingly…..?
  • 28. Functions Chat Location
  • 29. Risks  Images taken and uploaded – sexting – sex offenders register  Location  Personal messaging  Usage / addiction
  • 30. Take control  Is my child old enough to have a mobile phone? Set boundaries - peer pressure for kids and adults  Before buying your child a mobile, find out what functions it has – Internet, private messaging, built in applications  Set parental controls where required  Set mobile rules - no mobile phone in the bedroom at night, mobile free time before bed, no use after lights out
  • 31. Support and Report Report suspected online grooming – this could sexual chat, a child being asked to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable or someone insisting on meeting up www.ceop.police.uk Peer to peer support network for young people who are being bullied www.cybermentors.org.uk
  • 32. Simple steps to protection  I have asked my child to show me sites they use  I have asked my child to set the security settings on all the technologies they use  I have asked my child to only accept people they know and trust in the real world as online “Friends”  I have set safe settings on our computer/laptop and set adult content filters on my child’s smart phone  My child has agreed to tell me if they are worried about something online
  • 33. Finally…. • Play on the Internet with your kids. • Communicate with your children before they start accessing the Internet, education is more powerful than locking down everything • Choose with whom your kids can interact with online. • Locate the family computer in an open area in your home. • Approve all files your child wants to upload to the Internet—and keep files secure. • Keep current on the latest technologies. • Gradually let your kids try new programs and Web sites that you have approved. • Keep passwords and all personal information private. • Stay involved • Get them to show you!
  • 34. More resources…. ISP filtering (Call your service provider, they can help) Browser filtering (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Safari, Chrome…all have features to help) Search engine filtering Operating system filtering – windows live family safety Links to help • https://chrome.google.com/extensions • http://onlinehelp.microsoft.com/en-au/bing/ff808441.aspx • www.google.com/familysafety/tools.html • http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/search/basics/indexing-07.html • https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/search/?q=parental+control&cat=all • http://explore.live.com/windows-live-family-safety?os=other • www.apple.com/macosx/security/ • www.linux.com
  • 35. www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents
  • 36. Contact dan.bowen@babcockinternational.com @dan_bowen www.pinterest.com/danbowen/esafety