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IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
IoF Scotland DM Masterclass
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IoF Scotland DM Masterclass

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Slides from DM Masterclass, Edinburgh, June 2011. Developing propositions and writing great copy

Slides from DM Masterclass, Edinburgh, June 2011. Developing propositions and writing great copy

Published in: Business, Technology
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  • 1. DM Masterclass Creating persuasive messages andwriting great copy for direct marketing Damian O’Broin Ask Direct
  • 2. More www.askdirect.iewww.twitter.com/damianobroinwww.slideshare.net/damianobwww.delicious.com/damianob damian@askdirect.ie
  • 3. What was......The last movie you saw...The last novel you read
  • 4. Once upon a tim!...
  • 5. 00 targ et met.€250,0 crease on 200910% in (so far...)
  • 6. Propositions
  • 7. A journey back in time to the centre of the brain....
  • 8. “Researchers have demonstrated that [we] make decisions in an emotional manner and then justify them rationally” – Renvoisé & Morin, Neuromarketing The most effective messages appeal here
  • 9. Rational on al m otiE Switch - Chip & Dan Heath The Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathan Haidt
  • 10. !"#$%&()*#+ ,(-.%/*//(0/"1%.2 “When people ask me what difference 345 6&."7&."(,588 5;<=,<>=55 a donation can make, I reply that 4/&*([*2()*#+G donations to Starship transform lives. D%/(@/#@E/(&27(C/(+%&.(F"99/*/?/(&(F#&."#(?&(C&7/G(H(*/@EI(.%&.(F#&."#2(.#(!.&*2%"@(.*&29#*C(E"J/2K(L&*/.2( %&J/(.#EF(C/(+".%(./&*2("(.%/"*(/I/2(+%&.(".(C/&2(.#(7#+(.%/"*(?%"EF("2(*/?/"J"1(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(?&*/(&.(!.&*2%"@K( Parents have told me with tears in -F($/%"F(/J/*I(#/(#9(.%/2/(?%"EF*/(.%/*/(&*/(?#C@&22"#&./(@/#@E/(E"7/(I#B(F/F"?&./F(.#(%/E@"1K(M%&7(I#BK their eyes what it means to know their N#B*(F#&."#(+"EE(%/E@(!.&*2%"@(2B@@#*.(?%"EF*/(&F(.%/"*(9&C"E"/2(&.(.%/"*(C#C/.(#9(1*/&./2.(//FK((H.("2(&.(.%/2/( C#C/.2G(+%/(&(?%"EFO2(E"9/(?&(%&1("(.%/($&E&?/G(.%&.(I#B*(F#&."#($/?#C/2(.*BEI(.*&29#*C&."#&EK( child is receiving the best possible care H(%&J/(2//(%#+(&(2/*"#B2EI("EE(?%"EF(?&(9&?/("?*/F"$E/(2".B&."#2(+".%(&(C&.B*".I(+/EE($/I#F(.%/"*(I/&*2K(M%/2/( at Starship. ?%"EF*/(?&(/P%"$".(&("2@"*&."#&E(&$"E".I(.#(?&**I(#(+".%(&(2C"E/(&F(&(&C&Q"1EI(@#2"."J/(RE"J/(E"9/O(&..".BF/K( )B.(&(@#2"."J/(&..".BF/(&E#/("2O.(/#B1%(.#(1/.(.%*#B1%(&(E"9/(.%*/&./"1(C/F"?&E(?%&EE/1/(S(I#B*(F#&."#(C/&2(A/+( T/&E&F(?%"EF*/(%&J/(&(+#*EF(?E&22(9&?"E".I(.#(1"J/(.%/C(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(%#@/(9#*(&(9BEE(&F(%&@@I(E"9/K(M%"2("2(.%/(7"F( #9(?&*/(H($/E"/J/(/J/*I(?%"EF(F/2/*J/2K And behind every one of these N#B(?&(7//@(B@(.#(F&./(+".%(2#C/(#9(.%/(2B??/22(2.#*"/2(I#B*(1"9.(%&2(C&F/(@#22"$E/($I(J"2"."1( +++K2.&*2%"@K#*1KQ<9#BF&."#G(#*("9(I#B(%&J/(&I(UB/2."#2G(@E/&2/(?&EE(#(=V(,=8(WVX8K children there are compassionate M%&7(I#B(&1&"(9#*(1"J"1(JBE/*&$E/(I#B1(?%"EF*/(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(?%&?/(&.(E"9/K people like you dedicated to helping. )/2.(+"2%/2G Your donation will help Starship )*&F(YE&*7 support children and their families at their moment of greatest need. It is at Y%"/9(ZP/?B."J/ these moments, when a child’s life can hang in the balance, that your3/?/"@.(ABC$/*: !()$() %&()*&+,-.-*/-0+1*)2+)2(34+5,&67 !"#$%&()*#+ donation becomes truly4#&."#(#9: !"#$## ,(-.%/*//(0/"1%.2 345 transformational.”4&./: !"#$%#&$!! 6&."7&."(,588
  • 11. Old Brain New BrainEmotional RationalAutomatic ReflectiveElephant Rider
  • 12. The Six ‘Old Brain’ Stimuli 1. Self-Centred 6. Emotions2. Contrast 5. Visual Stimuli 3. Tangible Input 4. Beginning & End
  • 13. Contrast Implied Beginning & End Visual StimuliSelf-Centred Tangible Emotions
  • 14. Diagnose the Differentiate your Demonstrate the PAIN CLAIM GAIN What is the need? Why is your organisation How are you going toWhy is this a problem for your best placed to make things better? supporter? address the need? And why does this matter to your supporter? Deliver to the OLD BRAIN
  • 15. Deliver to theOLD BRAIN Create STICKY MESSAGES
  • 16. S impleU nexpectedC oncreteC redibleE motionalS tories heathbrothers.com
  • 17. Simple
  • 18. J FKFB INAT OUP SNA SAI RSJFK FBI NATO UPS NASA IRS
  • 19. Simple
  • 20. Unexpected
  • 21. Concrete“Twelve pennies will give a poor child a day’s treat.” Irish Independent, May 1905
  • 22. Concrete 1450 LODESTAR ROAD, UNIT 18 TORONTO, ON M3J 3C1 1010943 YOUR 1 DOLLAR = 2 MEALS
  • 23. Credible
  • 24. Emotional
  • 25. “P.S. As a token of our appreciation for your gift, we will add your name to our supporter dedicationwall which will be featured on the real Rainbow Warrior. Your name will stand alongside othersfrom around the world who are prepared to contribute to a greener world.”
  • 26. The Mother Teresa PrincipleIf I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.
  • 27. Every year, 15million children die of hunger
  • 28. Stories Rebirth Tragedy Comedy Voyage and Return The Quest Rags to Riches
  • 29. Overcoming the Monster
  • 30. Renvoisé & Morin Heath Bros. Cialdini Self-centred Simple Reciprocation Contrast Unexpected Consistency Tangible Input Concrete Social ProofBeginning & End Credible Liking Visual Stimuli Emotional Authority Emotions Stories Scarcity
  • 31. Propositions
  • 32. Writing direct response copy
  • 33. ‣ Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. ‣ Never use a long word when a short one will do. ‣ If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.Geroge Orwell ‣ Never use the passive where you can use the active. Politics and theEnglish Language ‣ Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific (1946) word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. ‣ Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
  • 34. What makes a good story?
  • 35. r g etBe at ta by 33%
  • 36. DEMENTIA NURSE APPEALThis Spring, let’s notforget the 72,500 peoplewith dementia in Scotland.
  • 37. What’s missing?
  • 38. “With over 72,500 people in Scotlandneeding the support and understanding of a Dementia Nurse, and that figureexpected to double over the next 25 to30 years, it’s essential that this appeal is a success.” More than 70,000 people in Scotlandneed the the support and understanding of a Dementia Nurse. That’s 70,000 mothers, fathers, wives or husbands. Perhaps one of them is even someone you know.And the shocking news is that over the next 25 years, the number of people with dementia is set to double. That’s going to put intense pressure on ourservices. We need your support now so that we can ensure every person withdementia receives the care and support they need.
  • 39. Four t imes mone as mu y rais ch ed
  • 40. Copywriting Case Study
  • 41. Helpline Number 1800 341 900 Clear, tangible, early ask in standfirst Content warning Starts telling the story… (visual descriptions) Emotion Detail (credibility)Letter mentions “you”,“your” or “yourself ” 11 times on first page.
  • 42. “you” / “your”mentioned a further 8 times here Need emphasised Deadline to build urgencySpecific ask linked to benefitsPersonal testimony to build credibility
  • 43. Emotion (Anger) 3rd Ask
  • 44. Benefit / SolutionPersonal and emotional Benefit / Solution
  • 45. ThanksSpecific examples ofwhat your gift will do 4th Ask 5th Ask
  • 46. Data capture at top Helpline Number 1800 341 900Prominent reference to€250 tax efficient giving levelRepeat of call to action from Margaret
  • 47. The Results…New donors recruited: 196 (30% ahead of target) (36% more than 2009)Average Gift: €141 (Increase of 67% on 2009)Net cost per acquisition: €0 (down from €121 in 2009)
  • 48. Up 84% on-yearyear-
  • 49. General Monthly Gifts Top Donors20092010 General Cash +28% Monthly Gifts +88% Top Donors +227%
  • 50. Not just tangible - restricted Increased focus on top donor segments Core service - familiar, understandable topic Emotional, donor-centred, visual, great storyClear need & achievable solution
  • 51. “You” or “Your” is repeated 14 times on Page 1 (and donor’s name appears four times) Visual stimulus Articulation of need Introduces story... Thanks donor and demonstrates impact
  • 52. Donor focused solution Clear target
  • 53. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Long copy almost always beats short copy ‣ Use ‘I’ and ‘You’ but mostly ‘You’ ‣ Use active rather than passive language ‣ Keep and language simple, the sentences short the avoid jargon like the plague
  • 54. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Make it sounds like someone is taking ‣ Appeal on the basis of benefits, not needs (or features) ‣ Tell(make a gift of €25; email your localthem to do people exactly what you want TD)... ‣ ... And make it as easy as possible for them to do it.
  • 55. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ You can drive up response by using... - urgency - deadlines - targets
  • 56. What you need to knowabout direct response copy ‣ Tell stories ‣ Use emotion ‣ Make it personal ‣ PS: Always include a PS - it’s usually read first and most often
  • 57. Make it easy to read‣ Use a large font (12pt or larger) and a serif typeface‣ Indent paragraphs and vary their length‣ Break up the text images, handwritten notes underline, italics, with sub-heads, bold,
  • 58. Make it easy to respond‣ Be clear what you’re looking for‣ Large donation forms and plenty of room to write‣ Make forms easy to negotiate
  • 59. Copy Exercise1. Headline/Standfirst / Johnson Box2. First page3. PS4. Call to action on response device
  • 60. Thank You www.askdirect.iewww.twitter.com/damianobroinwww.slideshare.net/damianobwww.delicious.com/damianob damian@askdirect.ie

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