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  • 1. Self in Interpersonal Communication Chapter 3, Part 1 Devito 10 th ed .
  • 2. Chapter 3 Who are you….really?
  • 3. Objectives: Self-Concept
    • Define self-concept; explain how it develops.
    • Explain how culture influences self-concept.
    • Define & give examples of ego boosters/busters.
    • List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept.
    • Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example.
    • Explain why self-concept is often distorted.
    • Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be changed.
  • 4. I. Self-Concept
    • Definition
        • How you view yourself; self-image
        • Feelings & thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses
        • Relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself: emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values, roles, etc.
  • 5. B. How the Self-Concept Develops
    • Others’ Images of You
        • a. Looking Glass Self
        • Reflected Appraisal:
        • Ego Boosters & Ego Busters
    • Social Comparisons
        • Superior/Inferior
        • Same/Different
    • Cultural Teachings
    • Your Own Interpretations & Experiences
    You're ugly! You're stupid! You're pretty! You're smart!
  • 6. Other’s Images Social Comparisons Your Interpretations & Evaluations Cultural Teachings Self Concept Sources of Self Concept
  • 7. Ego Boosters/Ego Busters Exercise
    • Recall an “ego booster” who helped enhance your self-esteem.
    • Recall an “ego buster” from your life.
    • Recall a time when you were an “ego booster” to someone else.
    • Recall a time when you were an “ego buster”.
  • 8. Cultural Influences on Self-Concept
    • Individualistic Cultures
    • Self is separate, unique indiv; should be inde-pendent, self-sufficient
    • Should take care of self & immediate family
    • Reward individual achievement; value individual decisions; individual credit/ blame
    • Value autonomy, youth, change, individual security, equality
    • Collectivistic Cultures
    • Emphasize extended families or in-groups; “we” orientation
    • Should care for extend-ed family before self
    • Reward contribution to group goals; group decisions valued; shared credit/blame
    • Value--duty, order, tra-dition, age, group se-curity, status, hierarchy
  • 9. C. Characteristics of Self-Concept
    • affects communication.
    • is subjective.
    • resists change.
    • is flexible, if it is healthy.
    • is multi-dimensional
    The self-concept:
  • 10. 1. Self-concept affects communication.
    • High Self-Esteem
    • 1. Likely to think well of others
    • 2. Expect to be accepted
    • 3. Evaluate own performance more favorably
    • 4. Perform well when being watched
    • 5. Work harder for those who demand high standards
    • 6. Feel comfortable with those perceived as superior
    • 7. Able to defend self against criticism
    • Low Self-Esteem
    • 1. Likely to disapprove of others
    • 2. Expect to be rejected
    • 3. Evaluate own performance less favorably
    • 4. Perform poorly when being watched
    • 5. Work harder for undemand-ing less critical people
    • 6. Feel threatened by those perceived as superior
    • 7. Have difficulty defending self against criticism; easily influenced
  • 11. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
    • We make a prediction based on a belief.
    • We act toward person/situation as if prediction/belief is true.
    • BECAUSE we act as if the belief is true, it becomes true.
    • We observe this effect, which strengthens our belief.
  • 12.
      • Obsolete information
      • Distorted feedback
      • Emphasis on perfection
      • Social expectations:
        • Modesty vs. “Egotism”
    2. The self-concept is subjective.
  • 13.
      • Cling to existing self-concept, even when evidence shows it’s obsolete
      • Cling to negative outmoded self-perception—whether negative or positive
      • Can produce self-delusion and lack of growth
    3. The self-concept resists change.
  • 14. “Can’t” Exercise
    • Write a sentence which states something you can’t do.
    • Cross out the “can’t” and replace it with “won’t” or “haven’t yet”.
    • How does this change the meaning of this sentence?
    • What does this have to do with self-concept?
  • 15.
      • We change:
        • -from moment to moment.
        • -from situation to situation.
        • -over longer periods of time.
      • We need to constantly adjust our self-concept as new data becomes available.
    4. A healthy self-concept is flexible.
  • 16. Changing the Self-Concept
    • Have realistic expectations
    • Strive for a realistic perception of yourself
    • Have the will to change
    • Develop the skill to change
  • 17. The self-concept is multidimensional.
  • 18.
    • PRIVATE ME
        • Perceived self
        • Person you believe yourself to be.
    • IDEAL ME
        • Desired self
        • Picture of person you wish you were
    • PUBLIC ME
        • Presenting self
        • Face you try to show others
    5. The self-concept is multidimensional.
  • 19. Defining My Three Selves Exercise
    • Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label the first column, “Perceived Self”. Write words and/or draw pictures that best describe the person you know yourself to be.
    • Label the second area, “Desired Self,” and repeat the process using words/pictures that describe the way you would like to be.
    • Label the third area, “Presenting Self.” Us words/pictures that represent the way to present yourself to others.
    • Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas.
    (Out/In, 4 th ed. P. 60)
  • 20.
    • Explain the Johari window.
    • Compare & contrast Johari window for two different relationships.
    • Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure.
    • List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure.
    • List & explain guidelines for responding to self-disclosures of others.
    Objectives: Self-Awareness & Self-Esteem
  • 21.
    • Johari Window -- a tool that represents your communication behaviors
    II. Self-Awareness Goal is to be as open a communicator as appropriate .
  • 22. Known to Not Known Self to Self Known to Others Not Known to Others Johari Window Open Self Blind Self Hidden Self Unknown Self
  • 23. III. Self-Esteem – your own evaluation of worth
    • A. Attack your self- destructive beliefs.
    • B. Engage in self-affirmation.
    • Seek out nourish-
    • ing people.
    • Work on projects that will result in success.
    Way to go! CLUES?
  • 24. IV. Self- Disclosure -- sharing previously unknown personal information with another values beliefs desires behavior qualities characteristics
  • 25.  
  • 26. A. Factors Influencing Self- Disclosure 1. Who You Are 2. Culture 3. Gender 4. Your Listeners 5. Topic
  • 27. WOMEN
  • 28. MEN
  • 29. Weigh the rewards against the risks before deciding to self- disclose. CAUTION!
  • 30. B. Rewards of Self- Disclosure
    • 1. Get to know self better
    • Increases communication effectiveness
    • 3. Increases physiological health
  • 31. C. Dangers of Self- Disclosure 1. Personal risks 2. Relational risks 3. Professional risks Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website
  • 32. Guidelines for Self-Disclosure
    • Consider the:
      • motivation .
      • appropriateness .
      • disclosures of the other.
      • possible burdens.
  • 33. Guidelines for Responding to Self-Disclosures of Others
    • Use active listening skills.
    • Support & reinforce the discloser.
    • Keep disclosures confidential.
    • Do not use disclosures as weapons.
  • 34. Objectives: Apprehension
    • Define communication apprehension & distinguish between state & trait apprehension.
    • List 7 apprehensive behaviors.
    • List & explain 7 influences on apprehension.
    • Explain how cultural differences impact apprehension.
    • Briefly describe 3 apprehension management theories.
  • 35. V. Apprehension
    • A. Nature of comm. apprehension
    • 1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety about interaction
    • 2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm., regardless of situation
    • 3. State apprehension--specific to a given comm. situation
  • 36. B. Apprehensive Behaviors 1. Decrease in frequency, strength, & likelihood of engaging in comm. 2. Less willing to volunteer 3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating 4. Talk less & avoid leadership 5. Disclose less 6. Avoid jobs requiring comm. 7. Less likely to get job interviews
  • 37. C. Influences on comm. apprehension 1. Degree of evaluation 2. Subordinate status 3. Degree of conspicuousness 4. Degree of unpredictability 5. Degree of dissimilarity 6. Prior success & failures 7. Lack of comm. skills & experience
  • 38. D. Culture & apprehension 1. Apprehension increases w/unfamiliarity 2. Higher if you have stereotypes, prejudices 3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status, perception of evaluation
  • 39. E. Apprehension Management Theories 1. Cognitive Restructuring --change unreal- istic beliefs which cause fear of failure 2. Systematic Desensitization --unlearn apprehension--creating hierarchy of behaviors leading up to desired behavior 3. Skill Acquisition -- a. Prepare & practice b. Focus on success c. Familiarize yourself w/situation d. Try to relax
  • 40. The End Presenting Self? NOT!!!!! Appropriate Self-Disclosure?
  • 41. Surveys/Exercises
    • *Weighing Rewards & Costs of Self-Disclosure
    • Self-Concept Scales
    • Locus of Control Scales
    • Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons & stories
    • Self-Actualization Survey
    • Self-Disclosure Survey
    • Self-Monitoring Survey