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:Design with a Smile

By Charlie Zimkus
www.CharlieZimkus.com
czimkus@yahoo.com
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5 ways to introduce
humor into your work
1) Exaggerate.
2) Use visual metaphors.
3) Make a game o...
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1) Exaggerate.
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Scale is an obvious
candidate.
Whether you
make things big ...
Cook’s Corner .................H2
Two’s Company ..............H2
Grape Expectations ......H3
By Definition ..................
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Playing with
scale can have
a light-hearted
effect.
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM

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SCIENCE BRIEFS

Old...
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Exaggerate a
feature that is
appropriate for
the story.
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Push it to the
extreme.

e removed quickly
engers must removeTRAVEL
nt.
PubDate: 11-18-07

Page: ...
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at airport
checkpoints

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TIPS FOR GETTING THROUGH SECURITY
Have your boarding pass and
ID in hand ...
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2) Use visual metaphors.
Vice vs. virtue

Thomas J. Craughwell
catches Saints
Behaving Badly in his
entertaining new
book D7

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F

2

[

Look for visual
similarities.

W

ONLINE

∑

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$2.00

SUNDAY, JUNE 23, 2013

DISPATCH.COM

Downtown abuzz for Pride parade / B1
Researchers try...
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THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH
SPECIAL SECTION ˙ SUNDAY, MAY 20, 2012

2

Choose a
metaphor that
matches t...
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After a regular season spanning November to March, the grind of league play and
a frenetic conference tournament, 65 teams...
SUNDAY
JANUARY 29, 2006

Ga., to California wine
country — entice for
Valentine’s Day | F4

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F

TI...
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SUNDAY
JANUARY 29, 2006

country — entice for
Valentine’s Day | F4

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F

TICKET TO WRITE

∑

∑

STE...
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3) Make a game of it.
With the 126th session of the Ohio legislature only a week old, it’s the perfect time to explain
some fundamentals for new...
PubDate: 11-27-07

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Page: 8 D

Edition: 1 Replate:

User: pmarshal

D8 

Color:C
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DEMOCRATS
...
ate: 11-27-07

Page: 8 D

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Edition: 1 Replate:

User: pmarshal

D8 

Color:C
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THE COLUMBUS D...
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DEMOCRATS

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PubDate: 02-08-07

Page: 8 C

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GOH!

User: sberry

- Attend a different kind of dance
party ...
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4) Get others to play along.
white T-shirt and blends
into the sleeves of the
red shirt.
- Make an arrow out of
construction paper,
poster board or woo...
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$1.00
TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011 :: SECTION E

S

Ohio State’s rabid student section — aptly named “...
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$1.00
TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011 : : SECTION E

Ohio State’s rabid student section — aptly named “The Nuthouse” — should
have...
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
Design with a Smile (2013)
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Tips on how to introduce some appropriate humor into your design work. Updated 2013 version.

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Design with a Smile (2013)

  1. 1. n :Desig mile ith a S w :Design with a Smile By Charlie Zimkus www.CharlieZimkus.com czimkus@yahoo.com
  2. 2. n :Desig mile ith a S w 5 ways to introduce humor into your work 1) Exaggerate. 2) Use visual metaphors. 3) Make a game of it. 4) Get others to play along. 5) Parody.
  3. 3. n :Desig mile ith a S w 1) Exaggerate.
  4. 4. n :Desig mile ith a S w Scale is an obvious candidate. Whether you make things big ...
  5. 5. Cook’s Corner .................H2 Two’s Company ..............H2 Grape Expectations ......H3 By Definition ..................H3 For the Gourmet ............H5 Desperation Dinners .....H5 n :Desig mile ith a S w ∑ WEDNESDAY MARCH 17, 2004 CUTTING EDGE Food auction Haven’t settled on tonight’s plans for St. Patrick’s Day? Then consider heading to Loveland for ‘‘A Time With Paddington,’’ a Paddington bear exhibit and food auction sponsored by the Greater Loveland Historical Society Museum. People can bid on items, including dinner for two, homemade pies and gift certificates to local restaurants. The event is being held at the JoAnn Richardson History House at Park and Riverside Drive in Loveland. For more information, call 513-683-5692. ... or small. Irish legend And speaking of St. Patrick’s Day, did you know that cutting the cross in the top of Irish soda bread is an old superstition? According to the March issue of Martha Stewart Living, making those cuts in the top of the bread was supposed to ‘‘let the devil out’’ before baking. Free ice Although it may not seem like it, spring is not far off. To celebrate the first day of spring, Rita’s Water Ice at 2116 W. Henderson Rd. will give away a regularsize Italian ice treat to everyone who stops by Saturday. Nationwide, the company plans to give away more than a halfmillion cups of ice. For H more information, call 614-457-7290. Cook’s Corner .................H2 Two’s Company ..............H2 Grape Expectations ......H3 By Definition ..................H3 For the Gourmet ............H5 Desperation Dinners .....H5 ∑ WEDNESDAY MARCH 17, 2004 CUTTING EDGE CHARLIE ZIMKUS | DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION In Broiler wisdom Broiling is a great alternative to grilling during cold months. To avoid broiler fires, cooking aficionado James Beard recommended putting a piece of bread in the bottom of the broiler pan. According to 1,001 Secrets of Great Cooks, bread absorbs the grease that can catch fire. Food auction Haven’t settled on tonight’s plans for St. Patrick’s Day? Then consider heading to Loveland for ‘‘A Time With Paddington,’’ a Paddington bear exhibit and food auction sponsored by the Greater Loveland Historical Society Museum. People can bid on items, including dinner for two, homemade pies and gift certificates to local restaurants. The event is being held at the JoAnn Richardson History House at Park and Riverside Drive in Loveland. For more information, call 513-683-5692. Irish legend And speaking of St. Patrick’s Day, did you know that cutting the cross in the top of Irish soda bread is an old superstition? According to the March issue of Martha Stewart Living, making those cuts in the top of the bread was supposed to ‘‘let the devil out’’ before baking. Free ice Although it may not seem like it, spring is not far off. To celebrate the first day of spring, Rita’s Water Ice at 2116 W. Henderson Rd. will give away a regularsize Italian ice treat to everyone who stops by Saturday. Nationwide, the company plans to give away more than a halfmillion cups of ice. For more information, call 614-457-7290. CHARLIE ZIMKUS | DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION In Broiler wisdom Broiling is a great alternative to grilling during cold months. To avoid broiler fires, cooking aficionado James Beard recommended putting a piece of bread in the bottom of the broiler pan. According to 1,001 Secrets of Great Cooks, bread absorbs the grease that can catch fire. More cookbooks target pint-size chefs By Robin Davis Child’s traits ‘‘In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals. If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.’’ — Oliver Wendell Holmes Send your food news and tidbits to Food Editor Robin Davis, The Columbus Dispatch, 34 S. 3rd St., Columbus, Ohio 43215; fax, 614-559-1754. Buying tips THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH N ot so long ago, cookbooks for children consisted of smaller versions of Mom’s favorite volumes. Pint-size Betty Crocker, Fanny Farmer and Good Housekeeping books seemed aimed at junior housewives to go right along with baby dolls and plastic kitchen sets. ¶ But as food in this country has earned a capital ‘‘F’’ with glossy magazines, gourmet cookware stores and even an entire TV channel complete with celebrity chefs dedicated to food, so too has the kids’ cookbook market changed. ¶ Saveur magazine recently reported that 7,552 children’s cookbooks were available on amazon.com. Anyone who has taken a walk down a bookstore aisle can see the staggering variety of books aimed at teaching children Dandy recipes If there’s spring, there must be summer, and with summer come dandelions. Try your hand at dandelion cooking at the National Dandelion Cook-off in Dover. Entrants should prepare unique recipes using the dandelion flower, root or green as a main ingredient. Deadline for recipe submission is April 1. Finalists will compete at the Dandelion May Fest on May 1 at Breitenbach Wine Cellars and could win $500 for first place. That’s just enough money for a visit from the weed killer. For more information, visit www.breitenbachwine.com or call 1-800-THE-WINE. large measure See COOKBOOKS Page H3 While many experts think any cookbook that makes children interested in food and cooking is good, they have a few suggestions for picking the best: ∑ Pick books with colorful photographs. Seeing what the finished food looks like can entice children to try different recipes. Picture books are especially good for younger kids with limited reading skills. ∑ Scan the recipes to be sure they cover the basics: how to measure liquids versus dry ingredients, how to preheat the oven, how to mix. ∑ Look for books which include safety guidelines throughout the recipes or at least have a section on kitchen safety. ∑ Select cookbooks that go beyond traditional kid favorites like macaroni and cheese. Books that include dishes on fruits and vegetables may enourage children to try something new. ∑ Be sure to get books that are age-appropriate for the child. Books written for an 8-year-old may not be appealing to a 12year-old. ∑ Stick to books that use easyto-find ingredients. Remember: It will be the adult who needs to make the extra trip for anything special. Dandy recipes If there’s spring, there must be summer, and with come dandelions. Try your hand at dandelion cooking at the National Dandelion Cook-off in Dover. Entrants should prepare unique recipes using the dandelion flower, root or green as a main ingredient. Deadline for recipe submission is April 1. Finalists will compete at the Dandelion May Fest on May 1 at Breitenbach Wine Cellars and could win Tips will make you a fan of sauces in a pan summer By CeCe Sullivan THE SEATTLE TIMES Pan sauces, unlike the emulsified branch of the sauce family, have a forgiving nature. If the sauce is too thin, it can either be reduced further or thickened with a starch. Or maybe the sauce has been reduced so much, it needs loosening up. Just correct the consistency with a tablespoon or two of water or other liquid. The foundation of pan sauces are the crusty juices that form on the bottom of the pan when food is browned, sauteed or roasted. Here’s how to construct an elegant sauce, step by step. 1. Saute: Meats should first be patted with paper towels to absorb excess moisture. Choose a heavy-bottomed saute or frying pan. In Sauces: Classical and Contemporary Sauce Making, author James Peterson advises paying attention to the The foundation of pan sauces are the crusty juices that form on the bottom of the pan when food is browned, sauteed or roasted. size of the pan: ‘‘When meats are sauteed,’’ he writes, ‘‘they should fit neatly into the saute pan with no extra room. If the pan is too large, so that part of its surface is exposed during sauteing, the meat juices, which are essential to pandeglazed sauces, will burn. An overcrowded pan, on the other hand, will prevent the meat from browning evenly and may even cause it to release its juices too quickly, so that it simmers in its own juices, rather than browns.’’ Heat the pan over medium to medium- 03/17 high heat. (Some burners are hotter than others, so adjust the heat accordingly.) Add the oil or other fat called for in the recipe. When hot, add food and cook without moving until a crust is formed, which should release easily from the pan. Then turn and finish cooking. The food should be a rich brown, but should not blacken. 2. Degrease: After sauteing and removing meat from pan, pour off the fat. (If aromatics are going to be added, a thin glaze of fat can be left on the bottom of the pan.) 3. Deglaze: After degreasing pan, put it back on the heat. Now add aromatics such as minced garlic and shallot, or a mirepoix — a tiny dice of carrot, celery and onion. Saute about 30 seconds. Pour liquid into the pan; it should come to a boil quickly. Use a spatula to loosen the browned See SAUCES Page H3 FOOD, PAGE H1 BARY WONG | THE SEATTLE TIMES An apricot-wild mushroom sauce to go with sauteed pork chops is made in the pan in which the meat was cooked. large measure More cookbooks target pint-size chefs By Robin Davis THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH N ot so long ago, cookbooks for children consisted of smaller versions of Mom’s favorite volumes. Pint-size Betty Crocker, Fanny Farmer and Good Housekeeping books seemed aimed at junior housewives to go right along with baby dolls and plastic kitchen sets. ¶ But as food in this country has earned a capital ‘‘F’’ with glossy magazines, gourmet cookware stores and even an entire TV channel complete with celebrity chefs dedicated to food, so too has the kids’ cookbook market changed. ¶ Saveur magazine recently reported that 7,552 children’s cookbooks were available on amazon.com. Anyone who has taken a walk down a bookstore aisle can see the staggering variety of books aimed at teaching children See COOKBOOKS Page H3 Buying tips While many experts think any cookbook that makes children interested in food and cooking is good, they have a few suggestions for picking the best: ∑ Pick books with colorful photographs. Seeing what the finished food looks like can entice children to try different recipes. Picture books are especially good for younger kids with limited reading skills. ∑ Scan the recipes to be sure they cover the basics: how to measure liquids versus dry ingredients, how to preheat the oven, how to mix. ∑ Look for books which include safety guidelines throughout the recipes or at least have a section on kitchen safety. ∑ Select cookbooks that go beyond traditional kid favorites like macaroni and cheese. Books that include dishes on fruits and vegetables may enourage children to try something new. ∑ Be sure to get books that are age-appropriate for the child. Books written for an 8-year-old may not be appealing to a 12year-old. ∑ Stick to books that use easyto-find ingredients. Remember: It will be the adult who needs to make the extra trip for anything special. H
  6. 6. n :Desig mile ith a S w Playing with scale can have a light-hearted effect.
  7. 7. THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM n :Desig mile ith a S w SCIENCE BRIEFS Old NASA spacecraft assigned to new jobs NASA took its Deep Impact spacecraft — the one that in 2005 sent an 800-pound probe crashing into a comet — and gave it two new missions. One was to study known extrasolar planets, and the other to fly past a second comet, Boethin, in 2008, and survey it. But since the mission was announced, a problem cropped up. Boethin, which is about a mile in diameter, seems to have disappeared. Astronomers cannot locate it and suggest that it may have broken into pieces too small to be seen. So NASA is retargeting the Deep Impact craft. The agency approved sending the spacecraft to another comet, Hartley 2. Forbidden fruit(cake) Exploit the characteristics of your subject in unusual ways. Fast-flowing water can form deposits, too PubDate: 12-25-07 Page: 6 E Edition: 1 Replate: E6 About two-thirds of the sedimentary rock at or near the earth’s surface is mudstone, rock formed by the deposition of clays and other fine particles. Those particles are carried by water and are so fine that it has always been assumed that for deposition to occur, the water had to be still — a deep lake, perhaps. But a study by Juergen METRO SCIENCE Schieber and Kevin Thaisen of Indiana University, with John Southard of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, published in Science, shows that fine clays may be deposited by fast-flowing water. User: kmetts Color:C K Y M THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM SCIENCE BRIEFS Old NASA spacecraft assigned to new jobs NASA took its Deep Impact spacecraft — the one that in 2005 sent an 800-pound probe crashing into a comet — and gave it two new missions. One was to study known extrasolar planets, and the other to fly past a second comet, Boethin, in 2008, and survey it. But since the mission was announced, a problem cropped up. Boethin, which is about a mile in diameter, seems to have disappeared. Astronomers cannot locate it and suggest that it may have broken into pieces too small to be seen. So NASA is retargeting the Deep Impact craft. The agency approved sending the spacecraft to another comet, Hartley 2. Forbidden fruit(cake) Fast-flowing water can form deposits, too The ocean is home to many weird creatures, but few that are as weird as the worms of the genus Osedax. The worms feast on the bones of “whalefalls,” carcasses on the seafloor. Osedax can make short work of even large whales, said Robert C. Vrijenhoek of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in California. But the ocean floor is not exactly wall-to-wall whalefalls. Might the worms devour bones of other marine mammals as well? To test that idea, Vrijenhoek and colleagues set out cow bones near whale carcasses in Monterey Bay. As they report in The Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, the bones were colonized within a few months at several sites. By demonstrating that the worms go for cow bones, the researchers have shown that the worms could have a more varied diet. “If they can live on cow bones,” Vrijenhoek said, “they can probably live on anything.” — From wire reports SCIENCE BLOG - To read Dark Matter on the Web, go to http:// blog.dispatch.com/darkmatter/ Ocean worms aren’t picky eaters after all Experts dig into the oft-maligned The ocean is home to holiday staple many weird creatures, but few that are as weird as the worms of the genus Osedax. The worms feast on the bones of “whalefalls,” carcasses on the seafloor. Osedax can make short work of even large whales, said Robert C. Vrijenhoek of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in California. But the ocean floor is not exactly wall-to-wall whalefalls. Might the worms devour bones of other marine mammals as well? To test that idea, Vrijenhoek and colleagues set out cow bones near By Kevin Mayhood F THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH ruitcake is food for thought. spongy and dries out and And, with a handful of large U.S. bakers alone crumbles,” Klosterman said. But a fruitcake, as it ages, selling more than 6 million pounds of the stuff “can become practically unduring the holidays, there’s a lot to go around. breakable.” Some receivers revel in the fare while others use the cakes as doorstops, toss them in the gar- Dig the cake No ancient, petrified fruitbage or regift them. cake has been discovered, but However, this butt of holiday jokes can be the holiday staple can noneviewed as a veritable brick of plenty for sciences theless offer a lesson in geolincluding metallurgy, geology, composite mate- ogy. only real analogy “The rials and psychology. would be to glacial till,” said Dale Gnidovec, curator of the Read on. Like a brick house HOW TO REACH US ASSISTANT CITY EDITOR Mark Somerson......614-461-8508 msomerson@dispatch.com SCIENCE REPORTER Kevin Mayhood.......614-461-5256 kmayhood@dispatch.com Composites, such as concrete and fiberglass, are two or more materials mixed together to provide properties greater than the individual components can offer, said Don Klosterman, senior polymer engineer at the University of Dayton’s Research 12-25-07 Institute. “Fruitcake is analogous to how a lot of these materials are formed,” he said. “You have a matrix — the cake mix — which is loaded with reinforcing particles, in this case fruits and nuts. “Without the reinforcing materials, a plain cake is PAGE E6 Orton Geological Museum at Ohio State University. The nuts and fruits and the cake that binds them are akin to the boulders, rocks, sand and gravel that glaciers carried with them across much of Ohio millions of years ago, Gnidovec said. See FRUITCAKE Page E7 Experts dig into ARLIE ZIMKUS, RENEE SAUER DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION Ocean worms aren’t picky eaters after all CHARLIE ZIMKUS, RENEE SAUER DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION About two-thirds of the sedimentary rock at or near the earth’s surface is mudstone, rock formed by the deposition of clays and other fine particles. Those particles are carried by water and are so fine that it has always been assumed that for deposition to occur, the water had to be still — a deep lake, perhaps. But a study by Juergen Schieber and Kevin Thaisen of Indiana University, with John Southard of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, published in Science, shows that fine clays may be deposited by fast-flowing water.
  8. 8. n :Desig mile ith a S w Exaggerate a feature that is appropriate for the story.
  9. 9. n :Desig mile ith a S w Push it to the extreme. e removed quickly engers must removeTRAVEL nt. PubDate: 11-18-07 Page: 1 F Edition: 1 Replate: User: czimkus Color:C K Y M SUNDAY NOVEMBER 18, 2007 Sun-soaked casinos Coming next Sunday OGLEBAY RESORT Florida bets on growing industry ,F3 Holiday lights and more F Online AND ANOTHER THING Dispatch.com/blogs For breaking news, visit Dispatch.com. Speedier security By Steve Stephens THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Learn how to minimize delays at airport checkpoints F lying can be a trying experience, with delays, overbookings and cancellations. But passengers face their first trial well before they reach the gate: at the security screening checkpoint. The approach of the Thanksgiving holiday — one of the busiest times at the nation’s airports — promises to add to those trials. Even frequent fliers sometimes get confused or befuddled when confronting security checkpoints. For newbies, the process can be especially stressful. See SECURITY Page F2 TIPS FOR GETTING THROUGH SECURITY Remember the “3-1-1 Rule.” All carry-on liquids must be in 3.4-ounce or smaller containers and all must fit inside one clear 1-quart bag. Have your boarding pass and ID in hand so you can present them at checkpoints. Don’t wear large metal items that might set off metal detectors. (Small belt buckles and rings are usually OK.) Don’t pack carry-on bags too full. Security screeners must be able to identify the items in bags when X-raying them. Put loose metal items such as keys, cell phones, pagers and loose change into a carry-on bag, or gather them in one place so they can easily be found, passed through the X-ray machine and retrieved. Wear shoes that can be removed quickly and put back on. Passengers must remove shoes at the checkpoint. CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH What is and isn’t OK ALLOWED After Sept. 11, 2001, when terrorists took over airplanes with box cutters, security screenings became more intense. Then came a potential bomber with explosives in his shoes and a plot to blow up planes using bottled liquids. All that has led to a crackdown — and confusion — on what is allowed aboard an airplane in carry-on bags. Some prohibited items are allowed in checked bags instead of a carry-on, but don’t be surprised that your fireworks or grenades aren’t allowed in either the passenger compartment or the cargo hold. Here is a partial list of what is allowed in carry-on luggage and what is not. NOT ALLOWED - Beverages bought after going through security screening - Pudding, yogurt, 3 ounces or less - Cigar cutters - Corkscrews - Tools such as screwdrivers and pliers shorter than 7 inches - Knitting needles and crochet hooks - Metal scissors with blades shorter than 4 inches - Nail files - Safety razors - Walking canes - Umbrellas - One book of safety matches - Baby formula - Transformer toys - Beverages bought before going through security screening and larger than 3 ounces - Box cutters - Gel-type candles - Gel-type shoe inserts - Snow globes - Spray paint - Torch lighters - Lighter fluid - Nightsticks - Tools longer than 7 inches - Meat cleavers - Drills and drill bits - Golf clubs - Ski poles - Sabers For a more complete list, visit www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel. Click on the link “Prohibited Items.’’ TICKET TO WRITE Time wasn’t on his side when Congress set the clocks Like many travelers, I get nervous when I’m running late for a flight or a ferry or a hotel checkout. So why don’t I wear a watch? The answer probably lies buried somewhere deep in my psyche, just to the left of the neurons that generate those STEVE dreams in which I appear STEPHENS naked on a stage while forgetting all my lines. But a watch wouldn’t have helped me a few weeks ago, when I spent almost an entire day one hour behind the rest of the world. I blame my pocket planner and Congress. Given my crazy schedule, my planner is indispensable. I go where it tells me to go when it tells me. (If I ever misplace it, look for me curled up and mewling under my desk.) So when the planner plainly stated “Daylight-saving time ends” Oct. 28, I believed it. Unfortunately, Congress had other ideas and voted, apparently sometime after my planner was printed, to extend daylight-saving time an extra week. At the inn where I was staying, I wondered why all the guests had shown up for breakfast so early. Everyone seemed to be checking out early, too. And our hostess seemed strangely antsy to conduct an interview I had set up for, oh, about an hour from that very moment, I thought. I often feel out of step with the rest of the world, but never in so tangible a form. Still, it wasn’t until hours and miles later that I began to suspect the truth. When I finally got my signals straight, I realized, with wonder, that lagging behind hadn’t led to any awful repercussions. I’d even enjoyed an extra hour’s sleep. This time, Congress gets a pass. Charity cruise Earlier this year I wrote about the Buckeye Cruise for Cancer, a Caribbean cruise Feb. 8-11 that promises to raise at least $500,000 to fight cancer. See STEPHENS Page F2 11-18-07 Our hostess seemed strangely antsy to conduct an interview I had set up for, oh, about an hour from that very moment. CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH PAGE F1 Don’t wear large metal items that might set off metal detectors. (Small belt buckles and rings are usually OK.)
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  16. 16. at airport checkpoints n :Desig mile ith a S w TIPS FOR GETTING THROUGH SECURITY Have your boarding pass and ID in hand so you can present them at checkpoints. times at the nation’s airports — promises to add to those trials. Even frequent fliers sometimes get confused or befuddled when confronting security checkpoints. For newbies, the process can be especially stressful. See SECURITY Page F2 Remember the “3-1-1 Rule.” All carry-on liquids must be in 3.4-ounce or smaller containers and all must fit inside one clear 1-quart bag. Don’t wear large metal items that might set off metal detectors. (Small belt buckles and rings are usually OK.) Don’t pack carry-on bags too full. Security screeners must be able to identify the items in bags when X-raying them. Put loose metal items such as keys, cell phones, pagers and loose change into a carry-on bag, or gather them in one place so they can easily be found, passed through the X-ray machine and retrieved. Wear shoes that can be removed quickly and put back on. Passengers must remove shoes at the checkpoint. CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH What is and isn’t OK After Sept. 11, 2001, when terrorists took over airplanes with box cutters, security screenings became more intense. ALLOWED - Beverages bought after going through security screening NOT ALLOWED - Metal scissors with blades shorter than 4 inches - Beverages bought before going through - Torch lighters - Lighter fluid
  17. 17. n :Desig mile ith a S w 2) Use visual metaphors.
  18. 18. Vice vs. virtue Thomas J. Craughwell catches Saints Behaving Badly in his entertaining new book D7 n :Desig mile ith a S w SUNDAY OCTOBER 15, 2006 Use a metaphor to make a non-visual topic visual. CHARLIE ZIMKUS, CHRIS RUSSELL DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION Writers of ‘fan fiction’ dream up new adventures for their favorite characters from pop culture PubDate: 10-15-06 Section: Arts Page: 1 D Edition: 1 Replate: 1 User: tlemmon Time: 10/14 16:16 Size: Broadsheet Amateur hour Color:C K Y M 0 Vice vs. virtue Thomas J. Craughwell catches Saints Behaving Badly in his entertaining new book D7 SUNDAY OCTOBER 15, 2006 D WWW.DISPATCH.COM On the Internet CHARLIE ZIMKUS, CHRIS RUSSELL A sampling of Web sites, many of which carefully label adults-only material, that offer fan fiction: - www.fanfiction.net: The granddaddy of such sites remains one of the best bets for literate fiction, although it has its share of howlingly bad efforts — and detractors. - www.fictionalley.org: It contains all that anyone could want to read about Harry Potter and company. - www.theforce.net: It provides all Star Wars, all the time. DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION Writers of ‘fan fiction’ dream up new adventures for their favorite characters from pop culture Amateur hour On the Internet A sampling of Web sites, many of which carefully label adults-only material, that offer fan fiction: - www.fanfiction.net: The granddaddy of such sites remains one of the best bets for literate fiction, although it has its share of howlingly bad efforts — and detractors. - www.fictionalley.org: It contains all that anyone could want to read about Harry Potter and company. - www.theforce.net: It provides all Star Wars, all the time. if By Cheryl Truman and Heather Chapman MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS you don’t know much about “fan fiction,” you might get a taste of it with a quick summary of a story based extremely loosely on the TV series Star Trek: The Next Generation: An impossibly brave, talented, beautiful young woman — who just happens to be named after the author — insinuates herself into the life of Capt. Jean-Luc Picard. In a footrace, she twists her ankle. She then commits ritual suicide using an eyelash and a fingernail scrap. Who says fan fiction is uniformly pretty — or logical? Such writing, simply put, spins off a new tale with established characters. Despite roots that go back decades, it is spawned largely by the Internet as well as fanzines — magazines aimed at fans of a specific cultural phenomenon, such as Star Trek. Much of fan fiction, or “fanfic” or “fic,” seems to be based on television, but it also stems from anything else that inspires a loyal following — books, movies, anime, video games, Broadway musicals, even professional wrestling. With just a simple Internet search for a favorite fictional character, a reader is bound to find See AMATEUR Page D2 MUSIC MOVIES Singer explains mysteries of lyrics Boundaries of sex, politics being pushed By Aaron Beck THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Asked why they write their songs, some musicians shrug or mumble. Matt Miner, on the other hand, rewards an interviewer with concrete nouns and active verbs — vibrant thoughts about Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, Celtic Frost, the Melvins and Metallica (the Cliff Burton era); Indian mounds; and the allure of psychedelic rock. Miner — the vocalist, guitarist and songwriter of the central Ohio metal trio Teeth of the Hydra — is aptly named: To create the tracks for the new album Greenland, recently released on the New York label Tee Pee Records, he sifted his mind. “I write songs by looking at pictures or reading about places like nuclear cities and imagine what an existence like that would be like,” the 32-year-old said. “I am not inspired by mundane life. I don’t write songs about being (ticked) off at work. I’m only inspired by things that are fantastic.” Later this month, Miner will join his Hydra mates, bass player Matt Bailey and drummer Jamie Stillman, to perform selections from See SINGER Page D2 D WWW.DISPATCH.COM By Elizabeth Weitzman NEW YORK DAILY NEWS WILL SHILLING FOR THE DISPATCH “I write songs by looking at pictures or reading about places like nuclear cities. . . . I am not inspired by mundane life. I don’t write songs about being (ticked) off at work. I’m only inspired by things that are fantastic.” MATT MINER Teeth of the Hydra 10-15-06 Remember the Oscar nominees for 2005? Each of the movies up for best picture in the spring was touted as daring and provocative, from directors determined to test limits and break ground. Ah, innocence. Shocked by two gay cowboys? Get ready for the pansexual gymnastics — in full-frontal glory — throughout Shortbus, from John Cameron Mitchell. Disturbed by the racial sparks of Crash? Buckle up for Borat, which mines extreme sexism and anti-Semitism for humor. Unnerved by the political implications of Munich? Be prepared for Death of a President. The list continues with potential rabble-rousers such as the comedy Sleeping Dogs Lie and the gender-switching indie work Zerophilia; the documentary Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing; and the seemingly mild (on these shores, anyway) British drama The Queen. What has caused the upturn in on-screen instigation? Douglas Brode, the author of Sinema: Erotic Adventures in Film and a cinema-studies professor at Syracuse (N.Y.) University, points to a growing sense of unrest. “After 9/11, we were all trying to stay within the bounds of good taste and we were all encouraged to self-censor,” Brode says. “But as the political climate grows more divisive, people are now beginning to speak out more.” Paul Schrader agrees — and, as the screenwriter of Taxi Driver (1976) and The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), and the writerdirector of American Gigolo (1980), knows about controversy. “In troubled times like these, if By Cheryl Truman and Heather Chapman MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS you don’t know much about “fan fiction,” you might get a taste of it with a quick summary of a story based extremely loosely on the TV series Star Trek: The Next Generation: An impossibly brave, talented, beautiful young woman — who just happens to be named after the author — insinuates herself into the life of Capt. Jean-Luc Picard. In a footrace, she twists her ankle. She then commits ritual suicide using an eyelash and a fingernail scrap. Who says fan fiction is uniformly pretty — or logical? Such writing, simply put, spins off a new tale with established characters. Despite roots that go back decades, it is spawned largely by the Internet as well as fanzines — magazines aimed at fans of a specific cultural phenomenon, such as Star Trek. Much of fan fiction, or “fanfic” or “fic,” seems to be based on television, but it also stems from anything else that inspires a loyal following — books, movies, anime, video games, Broadway musicals, even professional wrestling. With just a simple Internet search for a favorite fictional character, a reader is bound to find See AMATEUR Page D2 See BOUNDARIES Page D2 PAGE D1 MUSIC MOVIES Boundaries of sex,
  19. 19. n :Desig mile ith a S w F 2 [ Look for visual similarities. W ONLINE ∑ 0 1 1 ]
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  23. 23. n :Desig mile ith a S w $2.00 SUNDAY, JUNE 23, 2013 DISPATCH.COM Downtown abuzz for Pride parade / B1 Researchers try to grow hops in Ohio / D1 Gettysburg set to mark 150 years / G1 German Village house showcases art / H1 Law enforcement Create new images by combining objects. Cost limits high-tech radios’ use By Randy Ludlow Inside: Coupons worth up to $229 Coupon values vary by delivery zone. HOSPITALS The agreement between Ohio State and Mount Carmel raises questions over how once-competitors will soon become collaborators THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH High: 90 • Low: 68 Details on Page B10 Prisoner of war’s family optimistic about his return About 2,000 people gathered yesterday at a rally in Hailey, Idaho, for Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, the only current U.S. prisoner of war in Afghanistan. His Taliban captors offered last week to exchange him for five who are being detained at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and his family encouraged the government to accept the deal. • Page A15 Even in a small city such as Logan, it wasn’t always possible for police officers and dispatchers to talk to one another over the low-tech radio system. There were dead spots, and trying to use a portable radio in a large building, such as the hospital or a big-box store, resulted only in static. The communication glitches, long a problem for firstresponders throughout Ohio, threatened the safety of both the public and officers, said Police Chief Aaron Miller. But thanks to state grant money, police in the Hocking County seat upgraded in April See Radios Page A13 Drugs Meth labs’ revival spurs fight By Holly Zachariah THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH The plastic bottle in the ditch looked harmless enough. So the teenager clearing trash with fellow FFA members as a community service picked it up and tossed it in his garbage bag. A fire flashed from inside. The Muskingum County boy wasn’t injured last fall when he unwittingly picked up the bottle containing the remnants of a home-brewed batch of methamphetamine. But what happened was a powerful reminder that the volatile byproducts that meth makers leave behind endanger people not involved in making or using the illegal See Meth labs Page A8 CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH A changing dynamic L By Ben Sutherly • THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH ast week’s affiliation announcement by two of central Ohio’s three adult hospital systems will no doubt change the competitive dynamic among the region’s hospitals. • But just how much remains to be seen. • In announcing what stops well short of a merger, leaders of Ohio State University’s Wexner Medical Center and Mount Carmel Health System had few details about the form their collaboration might take. • The arrangement aims to help both systems control their spending, in part by achieving economies of scale, said Ken Rodgers, a Standard Poor’s See Hospitals Page A12 Stunt performer, pilot killed in Dayton crash A plane crashed at a Dayton air show yesterday, killing the pilot and a wing-walker in front of thousands of spectators. The plane turned upside down as planned just before the crash, then appeared to have insufficient air speed to turn over. Wing-walker Jane Wicker and pilot Charles Schwenker were from Virginia. • Page B1 Two quick goals send Crew to another loss A week after upsetting the top team in the Eastern Conference, the Crew let a fast start evaporate last night at home in a 2-1 loss to Chicago. Dominic Oduro scored in the seventh minute to put the Crew ahead, but former Crew player Dilly Duka scored the first of two Fire goals in the 52nd minute to drop the home team to 5-6-5 on the season. • Page C1
  24. 24. n :Desig mile ith a S w THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH SPECIAL SECTION ˙ SUNDAY, MAY 20, 2012 2 Choose a metaphor that matches the tone of your subject. 0 1 2 Summer Guide Area arts and entertainment highlights, plus a roundup of statewide activities Summer in the City PAGES 2-12 Summer in the State PAGES 14-35 CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH
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  26. 26. After a regular season spanning November to March, the grind of league play and a frenetic conference tournament, 65 teams (down to 64 as of Tuesday night) earned the right to enter the labyrinth that is the NCAA Tournament. And now, star players such as Evan Turner of Ohio State, John Wall of Kentucky and Sherron Collins of Kansas will try to help their squads navigate the inevitable twists and turns of March Madness, with a singular goal awaiting at the end: a national championship. n :Desig mile ith a S w S TA R T 2 Evan urne Evan Turner O H I O S TAT E T AT AT 4 64 64 Exploit as many similarities as possible between your subject and metaphor. 5 John al John Wall KENTUCKY FINISH 3 8 Andy autins Andy Rautins ndy SYRACUSE 6 PubDate: 03-18-2010 Page: 1 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: czimkus Color:C K Y M Armo Basset Armon Bassett 32 32 7 OHIO UNIVERSITY $1.00 TOURNAMENT 9 I2 I2 THURSDAY, MARCH 18, 2O1O PREVIEW After a regular season spanning November to March, the grind of league play and a frenetic conference tournament, 65 teams (down to 64 as of Tuesday night) earned the right to enter the labyrinth that is the NCAA Tournament. And now, star players such as Evan Turner of Ohio State, John Wall of Kentucky and Sherron Collins of Kansas will try to help their squads navigate the inevitable twists and turns of March Madness, with a singular goal awaiting at the end: a national championship. II S TA R T Sherro Collin Sherron Collins rro ins KANSAS 2 I4 I4 Evan urne Evan Turner O H I O S TAT E T AT AT 4 64 64 5 John al John Wall KENTUCKY FINISH 3 8 Andy autins Andy Rautins ndy SYRACUSE 6 Armo Basset Armon Bassett 32 32 7 OHIO UNIVERSITY 9 IO IO I3 3 I2 I2 II Sherro Collin Sherron Collins rro ins KANSAS Jordan Crawfor Jordan Crawford ra ord I4 I4 X AV I E R AV IO IO I3 3 Jordan Crawfor Jordan Crawford ra ord X AV I E R AV INSIDE THIS SECTION » The Ohio State men have relied on six players almost exclusively down the stretch Jantel Lavender has been a rock in the middle for the Ohio State n women this season Former Hoosier Armon Bassett is leading the charge for Ohio University PAGE 2 PAGE 3 PAGE 4 03-18-2010 PAGE D1 Men’s regional analyses PAGES 4-5 Women’s regional analyses PAGE 6 INSIDE THIS SECTION The Ohio State men have relied on six players Jantel Lavender has been a rock in the middle for » Former Hoosier Armon Bassett is leading the Men’s regional analyses PAGES 4-5
  27. 27. SUNDAY JANUARY 29, 2006 Ga., to California wine country — entice for Valentine’s Day | F4 n :Desig mile ith a S w F TICKET TO WRITE ∑ ∑ STEVE STEPHENS | DISPATCH Debbie Pentak, left, and Nancy Busby will work — and stargaze — at the Olympic Village. ∑ Find a visual way to express how something feels. ∑ ∑ Friends volunteer for turn in Turin ∑ Cupid’s road map ∑ Ten romantic destinations — from Savannah, Ga., to California wine country — entice for Valentine’s Day | F4 SUNDAY JANUARY 29, 2006 F TICKET TO WRITE ∑ ∑ ∑ STEVE STEPHENS | DISPATCH Debbie Pentak, left, and Nancy Busby will work — and stargaze — at the Olympic Village. ∑ ∑ ∑ Friends volunteer for turn in Turin ∑ ∑ ∑ So long, maps Stories by Bill Eichenberger THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH ou are here. Nothing makes the proclamation more clearly than a Global Positioning System receiver. Sure, a map in the mall will reveal that you are in front of Macy’s and that Brookstone is three doors down, but if you move, the sign stays put. Where are you now? And where is Sears? GPS devices help Enter the GPS. tourists navigate The beauty of the device unfamiliar places — — which is gaining ground and look cool throughout the United States in automobiles — is that it moves with a user, constantly updating his whereabouts. Getting lost is pretty difficult when the little voice on the dash keeps telling you where to turn. Even if you miss an intersection, it will adjust. ‘‘Off course. Recalculating.’’ For years, GPS technology has helped hikers, boaters and others keep their bearings, so it was only See GPS Page F2 Pocket-size computer helps New York visitor My editor thought it would be fun to send me to New York to find my way around using only a hand-held GPS. I found many practical reasons to navigate with the tool, a 5-inch-by-2.8inch Garmin iQue M3. Small enough to fit in your hand, the ‘‘pocket PC’’ is also part digital assistant, able to keep schedules, send e-mail and amuse with games. But my favorite reason for using the iQue to get around Manhattan’s Upper West Side had to do with vanity. The electronic device is discreet, unlike the unwieldy street map that screams ‘‘Tourist!’’ (Conversely, nothing screams ‘‘Urban sophisticate!’’ like an electronic gadget.) I had been to Manhattan several times without ever getting out of Midtown. I had heard of the famous places — from Greenwich Village and Chinatown to Harlem — but couldn’t point them out on a map or even tell east from west. Armed with a $533.32 iQue (on loan), I See NEW YORK Page F2 CHARLIE ZIMKUS | DISPATCH 01/29 TRAVEL, PAGE F1 Many Americans will travel to Italy next month to watch the Winter Olympics. But two Worthington women will be more than spectators, although they won’t be skating, skiing or curling. Debbie Pentak and Nancy Busby will be volunteers at the Olympic Village in Turin. The two part-time teachers signed up for the job more than two years ago. ‘‘They really want STEVE us for our English, S T E P H E N S fortunately,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘But they also wanted a working background in Italian.’’ Both women have traveled to Italy to become capable in the language and felt ready to put their linguistic skills to a big test. And both had always wanted to see an Olympics. Both are also unusual volunteers. ‘‘My friend and I aren’t ∑ Information on young, like most the Turin Olympic of the volunand Paralympic teers,’’ Pentak games is available at said. www.torino2006.org. Pentak is 54. Busby would say only that she’s a grandmother. ‘‘And only about 15 percent out of 20,000 (volunteers) are foreign,’’ Pentak said. The friends will have to pay their own expenses except for meals, onsite transportation and uniforms. ‘‘And we have to pay to see the events, so of course we’ve budgeted lots of money for that,’’ Pentak said. Tickets shouldn’t be hard to come by. Turin has yet to sell out more than a few events. ‘‘I’m not worried about tickets,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘I could have bought them ahead of time, but I wanted to be available for volunteering whenever they wanted me.’’ And she wants to do a little stargazing, too. ‘‘I’m hoping I’ll see a lot of athletes. Who doesn’t want to see Bode Miller and Michelle Kwan? And the Italian athletes — I figured I should get to know them, too.’’ But a volunteer has certain responsibilities, one of which is to make the athletes feel at home in Olympic Village. ‘‘They told us we can’t pull out our cameras, can’t ask for autographs while we’re on duty. But outside the village we can. So I’m still going to have my camera on me.’’ Pulling off their working vacation took the women several years of planning. They signed up on the Turin Olympic Web site in 2004, then visited Turin together that summer for a twoweek language immersion experience. ‘‘While we were there, we went to meet the head (Olympics) volunteer coordinator,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘She told us, ‘We need you. We want you. We need English-(speaking) volunteers.’ ‘‘We stayed in a pension, mostly occupied by students, and no one there or in the neighborhood spoke English, so we got plenty of practice in Italian. And we’re staying in the very same place when we go back. ‘‘My husband (Steve) and I love Italy; so do Nancy and her husband. I’d started learning on my own so I could have traveler’s Italian down pat. I’m past that at this point.’’ Busby and her husband, Hank, had taken a nine-month sabbatical to Turin in 1998 and 1999. ‘‘I didn’t know the language then, but I said I’m going to learn before I go back,’’ Busby said. During that trip, she walked much of the city, exploring the museums, restaurants and shops. See STEPHENS Page F2 ∑ Many Americans will travel to Italy next month to watch the Winter Olympics. But two Worthington women will be more than spectators, although they won’t be skating, skiing or curling. Debbie Pentak and Nancy Busby will be volunteers at the Olympic Village in Turin. The two part-time teachers signed up for the job more than two years ago. ‘‘They really want STEVE us for our English, S T E P H E N S fortunately,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘But they also wanted a working background in Italian.’’ Both women have traveled to Italy to become capable in the language and felt ready to put their linguistic skills to a big test. And both had always wanted to see an Olympics. Both are also unusual volunteers. ‘‘My friend and I aren’t ∑ Information on young, like most the Turin Olympic of the volunand Paralympic teers,’’ Pentak games is available at said. www.torino2006.org. Pentak is 54. Busby would say only that she’s a grandmother. ‘‘And only about 15 percent out of 20,000 (volunteers) are foreign,’’ Pentak said. The friends will have to pay their own expenses except for meals, onsite transportation and uniforms. ‘‘And we have to pay to see the events, so of course we’ve budgeted lots of money for that,’’ Pentak said. Tickets shouldn’t be hard to come by. Turin has yet to sell out more than a few events. ‘‘I’m not worried about tickets,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘I could have bought them ahead of time, but I wanted to be available for volunteering whenever they wanted me.’’ And she wants to do a little stargazing, too. ‘‘I’m hoping I’ll see a lot of athletes. Who doesn’t want to see Bode Miller and Michelle Kwan? And the Italian athletes — I figured I should get to know them, too.’’ But a volunteer has certain respon-
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  32. 32. SUNDAY JANUARY 29, 2006 country — entice for Valentine’s Day | F4 n :Desig mile ith a S w F TICKET TO WRITE ∑ ∑ STEVE STEPHENS | DISPATCH Debbie Pentak, left, and Nancy Busby will work — and stargaze — at the Olympic Village. ∑ ∑ ∑ Friends volunteer for turn in Turin ∑ ∑ ∑ Many Americans will travel to Italy next month to watch the Winter Olympics. But two Worthington women will be more than spectators, although they won’t be skating, skiing or curling. Debbie Pentak and Nancy Busby will be volunteers at the Olympic Village in Turin. The two part-time teachers signed up for the job more than two years ago. ‘‘They really want STEVE us for our English, S T E P H E N S fortunately,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘But they also wanted a working background in Italian.’’ Both women have traveled to Italy to become capable in the language and felt ready to put their linguistic skills to a big test. And both had always wanted to see an Olympics. Both are also unusual volunteers. ‘‘My friend and I aren’t ∑ Information on young, like most the Turin Olympic of the volunand Paralympic teers,’’ Pentak games is available at said. www.torino2006.org. Pentak is 54. Busby would say only that she’s a grandmother. ‘‘And only about 15 percent out of 20,000 (volunteers) are foreign,’’ Pentak said. The friends will have to pay their own expenses except for meals, onsite transportation and uniforms. ‘‘And we have to pay to see the events, so of course we’ve budgeted lots of money for that,’’ Pentak said. Tickets shouldn’t be hard to come by. Turin has yet to sell out more than a few events. ‘‘I’m not worried about tickets,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘I could have bought them ahead of time, but I wanted to be available for volunteering whenever they wanted me.’’ And she wants to do a little stargazing, too. ‘‘I’m hoping I’ll see a lot of athletes. Who doesn’t want to see Bode Miller and Michelle Kwan? And the Italian athletes — I figured I should get to know them, too.’’
  33. 33. n :Desig mile ith a S w 3) Make a game of it.
  34. 34. With the 126th session of the Ohio legislature only a week old, it’s the perfect time to explain some fundamentals for new state senators and representatives, and for those needing a refresher course. Here’s how the game is played: You be the bill. Take turns flipping an Ohio bicentennial quarter. Heads: Advance 1 space. Tails: Advance 2 spaces. The first player to become a law wins. n :Desig mile ith a S w lleonard@dispatch.com | czimkus@dispatch.com S TA R T There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for novices — you are a bill trying to become a law through the textbook legislative process. The method might sound familiar if you paid attention in school or during Schoolhouse Rocks. The standing committee has public hearings about you, receiving testimony from proponents, opponents and other interested parties. Explain a complex topic in a fun, interactive way. Congratulations! The Rules Committee likes you. In fact, it’s placing you on the calendar to be the subject of debate during a session of the House or Senate. Advance 1 space. The differences are worked out in conference committee and you go to the governor. ∑ Dressing for less Because of global trade, Americans are paying far lower prices for clothing than they did 10 years ago | C3 SUNDAY JANUARY 9, 2005 C Sorry. The governor vetoes you. Go back to START. If 3/5 of both chambers override the veto, you become a law. The Reference Committee sends you to a standing committee that is best able to deal with your particular subject. (They include the agriculture, health and education committees.) Committee members thoughtfully listen to the testimony, weigh it and make amendments. Wait 1 turn. Sorry. The Rules Committee ruled against you. Go back to START and try again. Lawmakers pay keen attention during debate. Wait 1 turn. The House and Senate cannot agree on your specifics. A joint six-member conference committee is appointed to negotiate the points of difference between the two chambers. Wait 1 turn. You begin as an idea, born in the mind of legislative leaders from the majority political party. Your success is assured. Advance 2 spaces. Each committee member considers the evidence presented and votes his or her conscience. Sorry. They didn’t think you were worthy of becoming a law. Go back to START. The House and Senate agree: You should be a law. Advance 2 spaces. Sorry. The committee didn’t find you worthy of becoming a law. Go back to START and try again. Congratulations! The committee found you were worthy of becoming a law. Advance 1 space. Congratulations! You passed one chamber of the Ohio legislature. Go back 12 spaces to the other chamber, where the process is repeated. The indecisive governor lets you sit on his desk for 10 days. You become a law without his signature. Advance 2 spaces. By Lee Leonard and Charlie Zimkus THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH The governor signs you. Advance 1 space. lleonard@dispatch.com | czimkus@dispatch.com S TA R T The standing committee has public hearings about you, receiving testimony from proponents, opponents and other interested parties. Congratulations! The Rules Committee likes you. In fact, it’s placing you on the calendar to be the subject of debate during a session of the House or Senate. Advance 1 space. The differences are worked out in conference committee and you go to the governor. Sorry. The governor vetoes you. Go back to START. If 3/5 of both chambers override the veto, you become a law. The Reference Committee sends you to a standing committee that is best able to deal with your particular subject. (They include the agriculture, health and education committees.) Committee members thoughtfully listen to the testimony, weigh it and make amendments. Wait 1 turn. Lawmakers pay keen attention during debate. Wait 1 turn. The full legislative body votes on you. The House and Senate cannot agree on your specifics. A joint six-member conference committee is appointed to negotiate the points of difference between the two chambers. Wait 1 turn. You begin as an idea, born in the mind of legislative leaders from the majority political party. Your success is assured. Advance 2 spaces. Each committee member considers the evidence presented and votes his or her conscience. Sorry. The committee didn’t find you worthy of becoming a law. Go back to START and try again. The legislative leaders are in a hurry. Advance 7 spaces after one perfunctory You are a hearing. bill popular with Columbus lobbyists. The standing committee chairman waits to schedule your hearing for the day of several fundraisers held by You’re sent to the important comRules Committee, where the mittee members, speaker or president makes out a thus providing an calendar and asks the committee incentive for members to ratify it. lobbyists to attend the fund-raisers. Wait 2 turns. Congratulations! The committee found you were worthy of becoming a law. Advance 1 space. Sorry. They didn’t think you were worthy of becoming a law. Go back to START. Congratulations! You passed one chamber of the Ohio legislature. Go back 12 spaces to the other chamber, where the process is repeated. The House and Senate agree: You should be a law. Advance 2 spaces. FINISH The House and Senate agree: You should be a law. Advance 4 spaces. The House and Senate cannot agree on your specifics. A joint six-member conference committee is appointed to negotiate the points of difference between the chambers. Wait 1 turn. The timid governor doesn’t support you, but he’s afraid the legislature would override his veto. He lets you sit on his desk for 10 days and become a law without his signature. Advance 2 spaces. The postponement lasts until late in the evening, when leadership hopes lazy reporters have called it a night. Wait 2 turns. The full legislative body votes on the bill. The conference committee negotiates more than the points of difference and sticks in items not previously discussed. Advance 1 space. 01/09 Debate is dragged out by the windy orations of sleep-inducing solons. Wait 1 turn. You’re an important bill, so lawmakers pay keen attention during debate. You’re a typical bill, so most lawmakers talk to each other, operate laptops, go to the members’ lounge and talk on their cell phones. They already know how they’re going to vote without listening, although sometimes they have to ask, ‘‘What are we voting on?’’ You arrive on the governor’s desk. A majority member moves to “lay the amendment on the table,’’ killing it without a recorded vote on its substance. Those opposing a good amendment can do so without being on record against something constructive. Minority members propose amendments, too. Advance 1 space. INSIGHT, PAGE C1 You’re a law! The governor signs you. Advance 1 space. Majority legislators amend something onto you that they forgot, like another bill that couldn’t get passed on its own. Some lawmakers miss the roll call, but they’re allowed to register their votes with the clerk. It’s finally time for your hearing. Committee members run in and out of the room, attending other meetings scheduled at the same time. You’re placed on the calendar to be the subject of Lobbyists hand debate during a committee members session of the amendments to try House or Senate. to change you. The timid governor doesn’t support you, but he’s afraid the legislature would override his veto. He lets you sit on his desk for 10 days and become a law without his signature. Advance 2 spaces. A couple of knowledgeable committee members meet with party leadership — and sometimes with lobbyists — to rewrite you into a bill that will pass and make everybody equally mad. Debate is limited by the speaker or president. Advance 2 spaces. You are a bill popular with Columbus lobbyists. The standing committee chairman waits to schedule your hearing for the day of several fundraisers held by You’re sent to the important comRules Committee, where the mittee members, speaker or president makes out a thus providing an calendar and asks the committee incentive for members to ratify it. lobbyists to attend the fund-raisers. Wait 2 turns. FINISH Good news! The party leadership gently informs members that unless they follow the leader by voting for you, they can expect no help in the next campaign. Advance 1 space. Sorry. The governor vetoes you. Go back to START. If 3/5 of both chambers override the veto, you become a law. Congratulations! You passed one chamber of the Ohio legislature. Go back 21 spaces to the other chamber, where the process is repeated. The conference committee works out a settlement before the conferees ever meet. Advance 2 spaces. The Reference Committee refers you to a ‘‘stacked’’ standing committee that will pass or kill you based on the wishes of the speaker or Senate president. You are handed to a freshman legislator who has just won a tough race costing the party hundreds of thousands of dollars. If the freshman gets you passed into law, he or she will have an accomplishment to take into the next campaign. The committee votes on you, with each member taking into consideration whether it will help or hurt at the next election. Lobbyists hand committee members amendments to try to change you. Party leadership postpones your debate until after the dinner hour, so fund-raisers can proceed. Wait 1 turn. The governor signs you. Advance 1 space. The governor signs you. Advance 1 space. The Legislative Service Commission, the staff attorneys for the House and Senate, draft you into bill form. It’s finally time for your hearing. Committee members run in and out of the room, attending other meetings scheduled at the same time. You’re placed on the calendar to be the subject of debate during a session of the House or Senate. The indecisive governor lets you sit on his desk for 10 days. You become a law without his signature. Advance 2 spaces. You’re a law! In the ReaL WoRL R In the real worldd There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for advanced players — you are a bill trying to become a law through Ohio’s legislative process as it really happens. The method might sound familiar if you pay attention to the news or during The West Wing. You begin as an idea, born in the mind of a legislator from the minority political party. Your defeat is probable. If you are very good, however, you will be kidnapped by the majority and passed under its name. Otherwise, wait for the next election year. The Legislative Service Commission, the staff attorneys for the House and Senate, draft you into bill form. You are sent to the Rules Committee, which carefully considers whether to schedule you for a vote of the full House or Senate. Sorry. The Rules Committee ruled against you. Go back to START and try again. S TA R T You begin as an idea, born in the mind of one of Ohio’s 99 lawmakers in the House or 33 in the Senate. In textbooks There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for novices — you are a bill trying to become a law through the textbook legislative process. The method might sound familiar if you paid attention in school or during Schoolhouse Rocks. The legislative leaders are in a hurry. Advance 7 spaces after one perfunctory hearing. Party leadership postpones your debate until after the dinner hour, so fund-raisers can proceed. Wait 1 turn. How a bill (really) becomes a law With the 126th session of the Ohio legislature only a week old, it’s the perfect time to explain some fundamentals for new state senators and representatives, and for those needing a refresher course. Here’s how the game is played: You be the bill. Take turns flipping an Ohio bicentennial quarter. Heads: Advance 1 space. Tails: Advance 2 spaces. The first player to become a law wins. The House and Senate agree: You should be a law. Advance 4 spaces. The House and Senate cannot agree on your specifics. A joint six-member conference committee is appointed to negotiate the points of In the ReaL WoRL R In the real worldd There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for advanced players — you are a bill trying to become a law through Ohio’s legislative process as it really happens. The method might sound familiar if you pay attention to the news or during The West Wing. You begin as an idea, born in the mind of a legislator from the minority political party. Your defeat is probable. If you are very good, however, you will be kidnapped by the majority and passed under its name. Otherwise, wait for the next election year. The Legislative Service Commission, the staff attorneys for the House and Senate, draft you into bill form. You are sent to the Rules Committee, which carefully considers whether to schedule you for a vote of the full House or Senate. The full legislative body votes on you. S TA R T You begin as an idea, born in the mind of one of Ohio’s 99 lawmakers in the House or 33 in the Senate. In textbooks The postponement lasts until late in the evening, when leadership hopes lazy reporters have called it a night. Wait 2 turns. The Legislative Service Commission, the staff attorneys for the House and Senate, draft you into bill form. The Reference Committee refers you to a ‘‘stacked’’ standing committee that will pass or kill you based on the wishes of the speaker or Senate president. Good news! The party leadership gently informs members that unless they follow the leader by voting for you, they can expect no help in the next campaign. Advance 1 space. The committee votes on you, with each member taking into consideration whether it will help or hurt at the next election. A couple of knowledgeable committee members meet with party leadership — and sometimes with lobbyists — to rewrite you into a bill that will pass and make everybody equally mad. Debate is limited by the speaker or president. Advance 2 spaces. The full legislative body votes on the bill. You arrive on the governor’s desk. A majority member moves to “lay the amendment on the table,’’ killing it without a recorded vote on its Debate is dragged out by the windy orations of sleep-inducing solons. Wait 1 turn. You’re an important bill, so lawmakers pay keen attention during debate. You’re a typical bill, so most lawmakers talk to each other, operate laptops, go to the members’ lounge and talk on their cell phones. They already know how they’re going to vote without listening, although sometimes they have to ask, ‘‘What are we voting on?’’ Sorry. The governor vetoes you. Go back to START. If 3/5 of both chambers override the veto, you become a law. Congratulations! You passed one chamber of the Ohio legislature. Go back 21 spaces to the other chamber, where the process is repeated. You are handed to a freshman legislator who has just won a tough race costing the party hundreds of thousands of dollars. If the freshman gets you passed into law, he or she will have an accomplishment to take into the next campaign. Minority Majority legislators amend something onto Some lawmakers miss the roll call, but they’re allowed to register their votes with the clerk.
  35. 35. PubDate: 11-27-07 n :Desig mile ith a S w Page: 8 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: pmarshal D8 Color:C K Y M DEMOCRATS (1) (5) + + + + (6) (2) + + + + (7) (3) + + + (4) (8) + Page: 8 D Edition: 1 Replate: NAME THAT CANDIDATE ( Sound it out, then say it faster Story and illustrations by Charlie Zimkus THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH With the Ohio presidential primary just more than three months away, dedicated (and slowlearning) Flip Side readers should start their homework now. π Eight major candidates from each political party are vying for attention. π Which means plenty of evaded questions, estranged children and $400 haircuts. π So the least that voters can do is learn their names. π Today, The Flip Side — calling everyone “dude” since 2004 — offers a collection of pictograms to help voters remember those monikers. π Decipher each one to guess the candidate. π Then start namedropping — quickly — before candidates in the field of 16 start dropping out. czimkus@dispatch.com ) REPUBLICANS User: pmarshal Color:C K Y M D8 THE FLIP SIDE Make the readers work a little, and reward them for it. PubDate: 11-27-07 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2007 (9) (14) DEMOCRATS (1) (5) + + + + + (6) (2) + + + + + + + (7) (3) + + + (4) (10) (15) (8) + THE SIDE FLIP ( Sound it out, then say it faster Story and illustrations by Charlie Zimkus THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH With the Ohio presidential primary just more than three months away, dedicated (and slowlearning) Flip Side readers should start their homework now. π Eight major candidates from each political party are vying for attention. π Which means plenty of evaded questions, estranged children and $400 haircuts. π So the least that voters can do is learn their names. π Today, The Flip Side — calling everyone “dude” since 2004 — offers a collection of pictograms to help voters remember those monikers. π Decipher each one to guess the candidate. π Then start namedropping — quickly — before candidates in the field of 16 start dropping out. czimkus@dispatch.com ) (16) (11) (9) (14) + + + + + REPUBLICANS (10) + + NAME THAT CANDIDATE + (15) + + (12) (16) (11) + INDEPENDENT + INDEPENDENT + + (12) + + (17) + + + (13) + TRANSLATIONS 1. Barack Obama; 2. Hillary Clinton; 3. Dennis Kucinich; 4. Bill Richardson; 5. John Edwards; 6. Chris Dodd; 7. Joe Biden; 8. Mike Gravel; 9. Mike Huckabee; 10. Rudolph Giuliani; 11. Duncan Hunter; 12. Tom Tancredo; 13. John McCain; 14. Ron Paul; 15. Mitt Romney; 16. Fred Thompson; 17. Joe Blundo + + (17) + + + (13) PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays Despite sabotaged gown, beauty queen wins crown HOW TO REACH US FLIP SIDE EDITOR Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 sberry@dispatch.com - We welcome your comments, complaints and kudos. E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com Fax ...........................614-559-1754 Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch 34 S. 3rd St. Columbus, OH 43215 The Flip Side: on the tip of your tongue. 59 ,James Avery, actor (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) 52 ,Bill Nye, TV host (Bill Nye, the Science Guy) 51 ,William Fichtner, actor (Prison Break) 50 ,Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg 39 ,Michael Vartan, actor (Big Shots) 31 ,Jaleel White, actor (Family Matters) Organizers are investigating who doused Ingrid Marie Rivera’s evening gown with pepper spray and spiked her makeup, causing her to break out in hives. Despite the prank, Rivera beat 29 rivals to become Puerto Rico’s 2008 Miss Universe contestant. She was composed while appearing before judges. But once backstage, she had to strip off her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body. Is Dennis a menace? RICARDO DIAZ SERRANO ASSOCIATED PRESS Sara Robinson, a former manager at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, has sued Dennis Rodman, claiming that the ex-NBA star assaulted her in March 2006 by rubbing against her and slapping her buttocks. Look out, Star and Rosie Barbara Walters announced yesterday on The View that she has Beauty among the beasts: pageant winner Ingrid Marie Rivera, right (Fla.) Times reporter who called him for comment. “I’m kind of shocked,” Hogan was quoted as saying. “You caught me off guard.” ON THE WEB - To pop off about today’s People column, visit Dispatch.com/ flipside and click on Popping Off. Man of Steel seals deal Superman Returns star Brandon Routh tied the knot with longtime girlfriend Courtney Ford on Saturday in Santa Barbara, Calif. Love note Paul McCartney and actress Rosanna Arquette are an item, according to Britain’s News of the World. + Stork report Zac Hanson, the youngest of the Hanson trio, and his wife, Kate, are expecting their first child in May. finished her memoirs after 11⁄2 years at the keyboard, TV Guide reports. Could be a lost cause Fake story du jour Lost star Daniel Dae Kim, the From the Onion Radio News: Hulk is ready to sulk third cast member to get busted for “Civil War Enthusiasts Burn allegedly mixing an open bottle Atlanta to Ground” Hulk Hogan’s wife of 24 years, with an open road, has pleaded not Linda Marie Bollea, has filed for — Compiled by Steve Berry divorce — a fact the wrestler appar- guilty to a charge of driving under the influence. sberry@dispatch.com ently learned from a St. Petersburg 11-27-07 TRANSLATIONS 1. Barack Obama; 2. Hillary Clinton; 3. Dennis Kucinich; 4. Bill Richardson; 5. John Edwards; 6. Chris Dodd; 7. Joe Biden; 8. Mike Gravel; 9. Mike Huckabee; 10. Rudolph Giuliani; 11. Duncan Hunter; 12. Tom Tancredo; 13. John McCain; 14. Ron Paul; 15. Mitt Romney; 16. Fred Thompson; 17. Joe Blundo PAGE D8 PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays Despite sabotaged gown, 59 ,James Avery, actor ON THE WEB - To pop off about today’s People column, visit Dispatch.com/
  36. 36. ate: 11-27-07 Page: 8 D n :Desig mile ith a S w Edition: 1 Replate: User: pmarshal D8 Color:C K Y M THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TU DEMOCRATS (1) + + + (2) + (3) + +
  37. 37. (14) n :Desig mile ith a S w + + (15) + (16) +
  38. 38. DEMOCRATS si n :De(1)g mile ith a S w + + + (2) + + + (3) + (4) +
  39. 39. n :Desig mile ith a S w + (7) + (8) SID E (6)
  40. 40. PubDate: 02-08-07 Page: 8 C Page: 8 C Edition: 1 Replate: GOH! User: sberry - Attend a different kind of dance party Saturday at Skully’s Music Diner, 1151 N. High St. The dance group Anatomical Scenario will perform “Anna and the Annadroids,” in which our skimpily clad heroines “go on a journey of being programmed and reprogrammed to shop, despite their various attempts to rebel toward freedom.” The fun, supported by a Greater Columbus Arts Council grant, will begin at 10 p.m. Call 614-2918856. - Dateless on Valentine’s Day? Go solo or with a wingman/woman to the Bitter Ball on Wednesday at Karma, 303 S. Front St. Live entertainment, prizes and other bitter singles will help drown the sorrows of missing another opportunity to make Hallmark rich. The party, hosted by WBNS (97.1 FM), will FLIP Little recalls run from 8 to 11 p.m. For more youthful glow like snow details, visit www.wbnsfm.com. — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com Time: 02/07 21:10 Size: Broadsheet Color:C K Y M THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2007 WWW.DISPATCH.COM RANDOM THOUGHTS THE SIDE Each Thursday, The Flip Side brings you Get Outta the House! — advice on what to do, see and experience. “Anna and the Annadroids” - Attend a different kind of dance party Saturday at Skully’s Music Diner, 1151 N. High St. The dance group Anatomical Scenario will perform “Anna and the Annadroids,” in which our skimpily clad heroines “go on a journey of being programmed and reprogrammed to shop, despite their various attempts to rebel toward freedom.” The fun, supported by a Greater Columbus Arts Council grant, will begin at 10 p.m. Call 614-2918856. - Dateless on Valentine’s Day? Go solo or with a wingman/woman to the Bitter Ball on Wednesday at Karma, 303 S. Front St. Live entertainment, prizes and other bitter singles will help drown the sorrows of missing another opportunity to make Hallmark rich. The party, hosted by WBNS (97.1 FM), will run from 8 to 11 p.m. For more details, visit www.wbnsfm.com. — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com a. b. a. Kevin Costner b. a. Billy Joel DATE OR DAUGHTER? When a beautiful young woman is on the arm of an aging star, people wonder By Kristy Eckert ,THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH a. b. On a personal mission two months ago, Richard Townsend, 24, of Britain ate 36 brussels sprouts in one minute — falling seven short of the world record. His training involved eating a plate of brussels sprouts every day for six weeks. — Chuck Shepherd Universal Press Syndicate a. Larry King As snow blanketed city sidewalks this week, I grabbed my gray hooded sweat shirt and ran out the office door with the intent of creating my own two-hour delay. I felt the familiar crunch of accumulation beneath my feet, the sting of snowflakes blowing in my face. I walked west on Broad Street looking to catch a Flexible Flyer to childhood. Nothing makes me feel young again like snowfall. Not skimming my TOM senior yearbook. Not REED watching ESPN Classic. Not listening to Cheap Trick’s Live at Budokan. I feel like playing street hockey and calling old neighbors to re-enact the 1950 Ohio State-Michigan football game. I aspire to build a snow fort the size of the Statehouse. That’s what it meant to grow up in my neighborhood 30 years before Xbox enabled kids to snowboard without, you know, actually going outdoors. Adults see the white stuff and are consumed with negative thoughts: shoveling driveways, juggling schedules, negotiating freeways as icy and tightly packed as snowballs. Children see accumulation as a blank canvas, a snow day filled with rosy cheeks and endless possibilities. Despite indoor amenities, there’s still something magical about trudging up a hill — noses running, lungs burning — and hopping on a sled. I hope that kids never lose their fascination with winter, although I suspect they have. A year ago, I found myself in Switzerland on a holiday after the Winter Olympics. I don’t ski, but I rented a sled for $40 and made two terrifying passes down a course in the Alps. I wiped out repeatedly, once nearly toppling a group of skiing tots. Soaked, sore and satisfied, I retired to the lodge and returned to reality. This region will never be confused with the Snowbelt, much less the Alps. That’s why Tuesday was such a treat — save for the snow-challenged drivers. My two-hour delay lasted little more than 30 minutes — just long enough to numb fingers, toes and the dread of being an adult trapped in a snowstorm. NEWS OF THE WEIRD a. b. e’ve all seen them — the silver-haired men with the fresh-faced blondes by their sides. We estimate the age difference and whisper the question: Daughter or date? 0 It’s one that could be asked about many famous men. And today, The Flip Side is doing it: Can you distinguish between the daughters and the current or one-time lovers? Rod Stewart b. b. Paul McCartney ADDING UP 17.7 30% 95% 59% 42% b. a. Howard Stern billion pounds of milk squeezed out of U.S. dairy cows in 2005 surge in the price of a dozen roses in the days preceding Valentine’s Day workers who procrastinate occasionally commuters who have experienced road rage nonretired American adults who expect to lower their lifestyles in retirement Sources: BusinessWeek, Maxim, Money, Putnam Investments, SmartMoney PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Teri’s not merry about Internet dish HOW TO REACH US FLIP SIDE EDITOR Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 sberry@dispatch.com - We welcome your comments, complaints and kudos. E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com Fax ...........................614-559-1754 Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch 34 S. 3rd St. Columbus, OH 43215 The Flip Side: We’ve always been mama’s boys. Teri Hatcher knows what has been written about her on the Internet, and she’s setting the record straight: “I don’t use Botox or Restylane, and I’ve never had any surgery, no matter what you’ve read.” Hatcher, 42, Teri Hatcher: told the BritShe’s real, and ish edition of she’s fantastic. Glamour for its March issue: “That’s the one downside to fame: On any one day you can find loads of hideously mean things said about you online. My friend keeps threatening to put these computer child locks on my computer so I can’t torture myself.” Mischa not wowed by nekkid Cisco Kid Cisco Adler and Mischa b. Donald Trump Barton are still together, according to Adler’s rep, despite reports that the actress dumped her rocker beau over a nude photo of him that surfaced last month. But that’s not to say that Barton, 21, was thrilled when the picture emerged on the Web site ParisExposed.com. “Mischa wasn’t too excited, to say the least,” Adler, 28, told the New York Observer for yesterday’s edition. “So, yeah, I’m going to try to keep my pants on from now on.” The photo was among Paris Hilton’s personal items sold at auction from a storage unit. Mandy Moore says the more the merrier Mandy Moore could hardly be considered overweight, but she says that working in Hollywood made her feel bad about her size. “I want to be healthy, but, in an industry where you can’t wear a sample size because it’s like a zero or a 2, it makes you feel bad about yourself,” the singer and actress, 22, told Seventeen for its March issue. “I’m not like a toothpick, and I never will be. I’m just a Color:C K Y M ANSWERS Kevin Costner, 52 a. wife Christine Baumgartner, 32 b. daughter, 20 Hugh Hefner, 80 a. daughter Christie, 54 b. girlfriend Holly Madison, 27 Billy Joel, 57 a. daughter Alexa Ray, 21 b. wife Katie Lee, 26 Larry King, 73 a. wife Shawn Southwick, 47 b. daughter Chaia, 39 WWW.DISPATCH.COM Paul McCartney, 65 a. estranged wife Heather Mills, 39 b. daughter Stella, 35 Rod Stewart, 62 a. fiancee Penny Lancaster, 35 b. daughter Kimberly, 27 Howard Stern, 53 a. daughter Emily, 23 b. girlfriend Beth Ostrosky, 34 Donald Trump, 61 a. wife Melania, 36 b. daughter Ivanka, 25 Today’s birthdays 75 ,John Williams, composer and conductor 67 ,Ted Koppel, former ABC News anchorman 66 ,Nick Nolte, actor (Hotel Rwanda) 65 ,Robert Klein, comedian 54 ,Mary Steenburgen, actress (Joan of Arcadia) 52 ,John Grisham, author 39 ,Gary Coleman, actor (Diff’rent Strokes) regular-looking person, and that’s OK. It’s taken awhile to come to grips with that since, it’s not the norm in my business. But, like, who cares?” Love stories Drew Barrymore, who hosted Saturday Night Live this past weekend, and Scrubs star Zach Braff “were very into each other” at the SNL after-party at club Sapa, the New York Post reports. A rep for Barrymore, who split from Strokes drum- SPEED BUMP mer Fabrizio Moretti several weeks ago, says they are just friends. Model Isaac Cohen — Britney Spears’ steady of two months and her first post-KFed notch — confirms for OK! magazine that he and the pop tart “are no longer an item.” Married . . . With Children’s David Faustino has filed for Mischa Barton: She stands by her naked man. b. a. Hugh Hefner b. Billy Joel DATE OR DAUGHTER? When a beautiful young woman is on the arm of an aging star, people wonder By Kristy Eckert ,THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH a. W e’ve all seen them — the silver-haired men with the fresh-faced blondes by their sides. We estimate the age difference and whisper the question: Daughter or date? 0 It’s one that could be asked about many famous men. And today, The Flip Side is doing it: Can you distinguish between the daughters and the current or one-time lovers? b. Rod Stewart keckert@dispatch.com a. b. a. b. Larry King Tom Reed is a Dispatch reporter. treed@dispatch.com a. a. Kevin Costner On a personal mission two months ago, Richard Townsend, 24, of Britain ate 36 brussels sprouts in one minute — falling seven short of the world record. His training involved eating a plate of brussels sprouts every day for six weeks. — Chuck Shepherd Universal Press Syndicate keckert@dispatch.com NEWS OF THE WEIRD FLIP a. b. Hugh Hefner W Broadsheet RANDOM THOUGHTS - Go early and stay late tonight at the Rumba Cafe, 2507 Summit St. The Spikedrivers will take the stage at 6, followed at 9:30 by Canta Brasil. A $5 cover will buy you the right to see both, leaving plenty of cash for a round or three of icy-cool caipirinhas. Just saying. For more information, call 614-268-1841. GOH! Size: THE Each Thursday, The Flip Side brings you Get Outta the House! — advice on what to do, see and experience. C8 - Go early and stay late tonight at the Rumba Cafe, 2507 Summit St. The Spikedrivers will take the stage at 6, followed at 9:30 by Canta Brasil. A $5 cover will buy you the right to see both, leaving plenty of cash for a round or three of icy-cool caipirinhas. Just saying. For more information, call 614-268-1841. Time: 02/07 21:10 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2007 “Anna and the Annadroids” Section: Life User: sberry C8 A quiz lets readers test their knowledge and come to their own conclusions. PubDate: 02-08-07 Edition: 1 Replate: SIDE n :Desig mile ith a S w Section: Life DAVE COVERLY Paul McCartney divorce from his wife of two years, Andrea. They have no children. “No, we’re never getting married,” Jim Carrey told Access Hollywood of his romance with Jenny McCarthy. “But that means we’re never getting divorced — which is fantastic.” Are they back in tandem? Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow got together recently and are so friendly that some are predicting they’ll start dating again, Star magazine says. Little recalls youthful glow like snow As snow blanketed city sidewalks this week, I grabbed my gray hooded sweat shirt and ran out the office door with the intent of creating my own two-hour delay. I felt the familiar crunch of accumulation beneath my feet, the sting of snowflakes blowing in my face. I walked west on Broad Street looking to catch a Flexible Flyer to childhood. Nothing makes me feel young again like snowfall. Not skimming my TOM senior yearbook. Not REED watching ESPN Classic. Not listening to Cheap Trick’s Live at Budokan. I feel like playing street hockey and calling old neighbors to re-enact the 1950 Ohio State-Michigan football game. I aspire to build a snow fort the size of the Statehouse. That’s what it meant to grow up in my neighborhood 30 years before Xbox enabled kids to snowboard without, you know, actually going outdoors. Adults see the white stuff and are consumed with negative thoughts: shoveling driveways, juggling schedules, negotiating freeways as icy and tightly packed as snowballs. Children see accumulation as a blank canvas, a snow day filled with rosy cheeks and endless possibilities. Despite indoor amenities, there’s still something magical about trudging up a hill — noses running, lungs burning — and hopping on a sled. I hope that kids never lose their fascination with winter, although I suspect they have. A year ago, I found myself in Switzerland on a holiday after the Winter Olympics. I don’t ski, but I rented a sled for $40 and made two terrifying passes down a course in the Alps. I wiped out repeatedly, once nearly toppling a group of skiing tots. Soaked, sore and satisfied, I retired to the lodge and returned to reality. This region will never be confused with the Snowbelt, much less the Alps. That’s why Tuesday was such a treat — save for the snow-challenged drivers. My two-hour delay lasted little more than 30 minutes — just long enough to numb fingers, toes and the dread of being an adult trapped in a snowstorm. Tom Reed is a Dispatch reporter. treed@dispatch.com Late-night host fires missiles at astronaut Infamous astronaut Lisa Nowak was the subject of the Top Ten list on Late Show With David Letterman. As a cautionary tale, Dave counted down the “Top Ten Signs an Astronaut Is Trying To Kill You.” Our favorites: “She promises to ‘take you out like Pluto,’ ” “She poisons your Tang” and “She keeps stabbing you with a pen that writes upside down.” — Compiled by Steve Berry sberry@dispatch.com WEATHER CLOSINGS AND DELAYS: James Thurber High School: Closed . . . Jym Ganahl Middle School: Closed . . . St. Bernard School: One-hour delay. Students are reminded to wear casks of brandy around necks . . . Bob Ney Middle School: Closed for rehabilitation . . . School of Old Codgers: No bus transportation. Students must walk barefoot, 3 miles, uphill . . . New Albany School for the Poor: Closed until someone poor moves in . . . Pickerington Procrastinators: Two-week delay . . . Iraq War Optimists: Closed because both members quit . . . Global Warming Believers: Postponed until temperatures climb above freezing . . . 02-08-07 PAGE C8 a. b. a. b. ANSWERS Kevin Costner, 52 a. wife Christine Baumgartner, 32 b. daughter, 20 Paul McCartney, 65 a. estranged wife Heather Mills, 39 b. daughter SPEED BUMP DAVE COVERLY
  41. 41. n :Desig mile ith a S w 4) Get others to play along.
  42. 42. white T-shirt and blends into the sleeves of the red shirt. - Make an arrow out of construction paper, poster board or wood to hold in one hand. n :Desig mile ith a S w 2) EMERALD ASH BORER HOW TO MAKE IT: - Find a plastic mixing bowl that fits your head. - Make large eyes out of black construction paper or felt, and stick them to the bowl. - Use strips of construction paper or felt for the antennae; bend them at their base to make them stand up. Attach them to the bowl with duct tape. - The rest of the costume consists of an old towel with a hole cut in it for your head, a pair of wings made of poster board and a few twigs to hold as an appetizer. Page: 1 D Edition: 1 Replate: jblundo@dispatch.com 2 User: jbrinksn 5) KATE GOSSELIN 4 If you can’t avoid her — and you can’t — you might as well imitate her. It says something about her ubiquity that suggesting her presence takes only a few wellplaced strands of hair and a clutch of dolls. (If a friend wants to go as future ex-husband Jon, simply split the babies and snarl at each other from across the room.) To top off the look, be sure to carry some dirty laundry to air. 5 Color:C K Y M HOW TO MAKE IT: - Buy a mop head made of cotton yarn. - Put it on someone’s head, unless you have a mannequin handy. - Trim it to mimic the signature Gosselin hairdo — an asymmetrical, long-hair-over-one-eye cut with a pouf of shorter hair at the back. - Add sunglasses, a large purse and eight dolls. D LIFEARTS SLOT MACHINE 3) SATURDAY OCTOBER 24, 2009 A salvo for Soupy Coming Monday VOLUMINOUS VAMPIRES Online FILM REVIEW: ‘AMELIA’ You’ll be sure to attract Television loses a true star ,D3 Is there a pop-culture glut? Dispatch.com/reeltalk attention not to menA COSTUMEtrigger—an Issue 3 tion PARTY 1) 401(K) After months of frightening charts featuring only downward arrows, we’re finally starting to see some upward movement in our retirement accounts. This costume has the situation covered no matter what the stock market does: Simply change the position of your arms to reflect how rich or poor you are at the moment. Five timely do-it-yourself ideas for Halloween get-ups that the box can be slipped over your head. - Cover the box with white paper. - Using construction paper, markers and crayons, decorate the box to suggest a slot machine. (Three squares with fruit in them get the idea across.) - Complete the look with a red stocking cap. debate — when you show 1 By Joe Blundo | THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH up S dressed as a one- ure, you could buy a Kate Gosselin costume for Halloween. ¶ But, hey, we’ve suffered a recession: Let’s get creative. ¶ Today, we present five costumes you can make at home. Granted, they might require a quick trip to the store; but you’re still likely to save money. ¶ In dreaming up the suggestions, we sought to go beyond the obvious pop-culture candidates (but we couldn’t pass up Gosselin, of the all-too-real Jon Kate Plus 8). ¶ We used children as our models because, well, they’re adorable. But we know that these costumes are more fitting for adults. ¶ How many youngsters, after all, want to trick-or-treat as a slot machine? HOW TO MAKE IT: - Pair a short-sleeved white T-shirt with a long-sleeved red shirt. - Use red duct tape to form a squiggle that runs across the front of the white T-shirt and blends into the sleeves of the red shirt. - Make an arrow out of construction paper, poster board or wood to hold in one hand. jblundo@dispatch.com You’ll certainly look sharp in this costume. And, given the long wait for the real H1N1 flu vaccine, you might just find people lining up for your services. Be sure to charge a co-pay! Beware of excessive imbibing while in costume. Should you pass out, you might wake up in a biomedical waste bin. HOW TO MAKE IT: - For the syringe, find a plastic trash can large enough to slide over your head and shoulders. - Remove the bottom and cut two holes in the side for your arms. - Cover the can with white paper and make syringe gradations with black tape or a marker. - Add a bottom rim made of poster board or construction paper. - For the needle, stick a dowel into the narrow end of a funnel. - Attach string that can be tied under your chin as with a hat. 3 If you want to masquerade as something that threatens peace of mind, a certain bug is more eye-catching than either traffic circles or the Penn State Nittany Lions. Keep in mind, however, that the borer isn’t exactly beloved in some newly barren neighborhoods. Your party hosts might express their dislike by serving you a plate of firewood. HOW TO MAKE IT: - Find a plastic mixing bowl that fits your head. - Make large eyes out of black construction paper or felt, and stick them to the bowl. - Use strips of construction paper or felt for the antennae; bend them at their base to make them stand up. Attach them to the bowl with duct tape. - The rest of the costume consists of an old towel with a hole cut in it for your head, a pair of wings made of poster board and a few twigs to hold as an appetizer. 4) FLU SHOT armed bandit. Whether you offer a payout is up to you. A caution: For now, casino gambling remains illegal in Ohio. (Don’t get yourself confiscated by the authorities.) 2 2) EMERALD ASH BORER 5) KATE GOSSELIN If you can’t avoid her — and you can’t — you might as well imitate her. It says something about her ubiquity that suggesting her presence takes only a few wellplaced strands of hair and a clutch of dolls. (If a friend wants to go as future ex-husband Jon, simply split the babies and snarl at each other from across the room.) To top off the look, be sure to carry some dirty laundry to air. 5 4 HOW TO MAKE IT: - Find a large box. - Cut a hole in the top for your head and a smaller SPEAKING VOLUMESin the side hole for one arm. From front porch, world glides past - Remove the bottom so You’ll be sure to attract attention — not to mention trigger an Issue 3 debate — when you show up dressed as a onearmed bandit. Whether you offer a payout is up to you. A caution: For now, casino gambling remains illegal in Ohio. (Don’t get yourself confiscated by the authorities.) HOW TO MAKE IT: - Buy a mop head made of cotton yarn. - Put it on someone’s head, unless you have a mannequin handy. - Trim it to mimic the signature Gosselin hairdo — an asymmetrical, long-hair-over-one-eye cut with a pouf of shorter hair at the back. - Add sunglasses, a large purse and eight dolls. HOW TO MAKE IT: - Find a large box. - Cut a hole in the top for your head and a smaller hole in the side for one arm. - Remove the bottom so Dispatch artists Charlie Zimkus, Patrick Kastner and Lea Delaveris contributed to this effort. Special thanks to our young models: 1. Amelia Weiker 2. Sophie Minister 3. Sylvia Rinderle 4. Daniel Kastner 5. Eleanor Weiker. 3) SLOT MACHINE Dispatch artists Charlie Zimkus, Patrick Kastner and Lea Delaveris contributed to this effort. Special thanks to our young models: 1. Amelia Weiker 2. Sophie Minister 3. Sylvia Rinderle 4. Daniel Kastner 5. Eleanor Weiker. JONATHAN QUILTER DISPATCH PHOTOS First Person is a weekly forum for personal musings and reflections from readers. Once a month, we check in on the supply and demand at the Columbus Metropolitan Library: FIRST PERSON TOP BUYS FOR NOVEMBER Not long ago, I saw an advertisement for a retro glider in a flier from a do-it-yourself chain. It reminded me of the old red glider that graced the front porch of my grandparents’ house in Circleville. In warm weather, my grandparents sat on the porch to watch the cars go by on busy Main Street. Grandpa sat in his chair and Grandma on the glider, their radio tuned to a nearby station. As a kid in the 1960s and ’70s, I found the news boring. (I certainly didn’t care that Mrs. Sue Robson won best arrangement at the flower exhibition or that the AP had pork chops on sale for 29 cents a pound.) And the music was more CINDY easy-listening than rock ’n’ roll. KIENER Still, my grandparents tuned in daily, quite happy with their selection. The porch was bordered on two sides by wide white rails, the old wooden floor freshly painted a high-gloss gray. The bushes in front were low enough to allow for an unobstructed view of the street and of passers-by on the sidewalk. Grandma and Grandpa often welcomed company on the porch. Family and friends indulged in lively conversation and alwaysfresh coffee. The kids were treated regularly to Archway oatmeal cookies and glasses of milk. When I grew old enough to drink coffee, I still had to have a See FIRST PERSON Page D2 10-24-09 1. The Lacuna, Barbara Kingsolver 2. Under the Dome, Stephen King 3. I, Alex Cross, James Patterson 4. Breathless, Dean Koontz 5. Going Rogue: An American Life, Sarah Palin RESERVES ON THE RISE 1. My Life in France, Julia Child with Alex Prud’homme 2. That Old Cape Magic, Richard Russo 3. Spartan Gold: A Fargo Adventure, Clive Cussler with Grant Blackwood Beware of excessive imbibing while in costume. Should you pass out, you might wake up in a biomedical waste bin. HOW TO MAKE IT: - For the syringe, find a plastic trash can large enough to slide over your head and shoulders. - Remove the bottom and cut two holes in the side for your arms. - Cover the can with white paper and make syringe gradations with black tape or a marker. - Add a bottom rim made of poster board or construction paper. - For the needle, stick a dowel into the narrow end of a funnel. - Attach string that can be tied under your chin as with a hat. 3 If you want to masquerade as something that threatens peace of mind, a certain bug is more eye-catching than either traffic circles or the Penn State Nittany Lions. Keep in mind, however, that the borer isn’t exactly beloved in some newly barren neighborhoods. Your party hosts might express their dislike by serving you a plate of firewood. Choose the best way to execute an idea. Photos are often best. PubDate: 10-24-09 well, they’re adorable. But we know that these costumes are more fitting for adults. ¶ How many youngsters, after all, want to trick-or-treat as a slot machine? 4. True Compass, Edward M. Kennedy 5. The Weight of Silence, Heather Gudenkauf NEW SCRAPBOOK TITLES 1. Cut, Crop Die: A Kiki Lowenstein Scrap-n-Craft Mystery, Joanna Campbell Slan 2. Hand Lettering: Simple, Creative Styles for Cards, Scrapbooks More, Marci Donley DeAnn Singh 3. Joy of Scrapbooking, Lisa Bearnson 4. ScrapBook Secrets: Shortcuts Solutions Every Scrapbooker Needs To Know, Kimber McGray 5. Outstanding Mini Albums: 50 Ideas for Creating Mini Scrapbooks, Jessica Acs JONATHAN QUILTER DISPATCH PHOTOS PAGE D1 First Person is a weekly forum for personal musings
  43. 43. n :Desig mile ith a S w $1.00 TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011 :: SECTION E S Ohio State’s rabid student section — aptly named “The Nuthouse” — should have plenty to cheer about this year during the NCAA Tournament. Led by senior David Lighty, bottom, the Buckeyes are the tournament’s No. 1 overall seed and will open March Madness on Friday in Cleveland. The students seem to have a message for OSU opponents: Deal with it. EC I AL P S N 1 201 E C TIO Illustrations and design covers can be effective, but whenever possible, try to incorporate real people. DISPATCH PHOTO BY CHRIS RUSSELL Presented by OSU outlook: Sunny The pieces seem to be in place for a run at the national title :: 2 Tournament brackets See who is playing whom in the men’s and women’s fields :: 4–5 Regional breakdowns Players, teams and potential upsets in the men’s tournament :: 6–7
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  49. 49. $1.00 TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011 : : SECTION E Ohio State’s rabid student section — aptly named “The Nuthouse” — should have plenty to cheer about this year during the NCAA Tournament. Led by senior David Lighty, bottom, the Buckeyes are the tournament’s No. 1 overall seed and will open March Madness on Friday in Cleveland. The students seem to have a message for OSU opponents: Deal with it. S EC I AL P 1 201 S N n :Desig mile ith a S w E C TIO DISPATCH PHOTO BY CHRIS RUSSELL Presented by OSU outlook: Sunny The pieces seem to be in place for a run at the national title :: 2 Tournament brackets See who is playing whom in the men’s and women’s fields :: 4–5 Regional breakdowns Players, teams and potential upsets in the men’s tournament :: 6–7
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