Stop and Prevent Bullying - Why victim becomes the victim?
Neuro Emotional ReAssociation
CHANGE YOUR HABITS
ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS
Some Undesirable Behaviours
Becoming anxious in social settings
Staying in unsatisfying relationship
Fear of facing challenges in life
Inability to be expressive and assertive
Do we choose to have them?
The answer is Yes and No
Some of these habits are conscious and some unconscious
We need to answer this question:
Where do habits come from?
Two Type of Habits
Action - Oriented
going toward the goal
Stress - Response
Running away from pain
Any habit always has 3 elements:
The Behaviour itself.
The trigger that activates the habit.
It can be conscious or unconscious
activation of pleasure centre
of brain or erasing pain
What we can do
to achieve the
is what we are
Why do we behave against ourselves?
We don’t know much
about the cues that
trigger our behaviour
Our minds contradict
The challenge of your BODY
Our mom or dad’s frown
Looking beautiful & receiving
The Scent of a favourite food
attention. Feeling light and
fresh in your body vs.
Stopping eating delicious
food. Going through sweaty
exercises. Losing time to
spend with your loved ones
Seeing old friends become
Cognitive model to change habits
Old behaviour becomes weaker
New behaviour becomes Stronger
One way to deal with different outcome is to Decide to go towards the
outcome, Focus on it and repeat the action until new behaviour becomes
dominant. We Consciously form new cues and habits to reach the
outcome. The old cue and behaviour are still in our mind.
Examples of outcomes that contradict
I want to become more self-confident. But what
would others think of me if I become assertive?
I want to study to learn new things. But I want to
hang out with others to have fun.
Being in a relationship is fantastic. but I can't find the
I want to be successful, but if I am, I won't have time
for my family and friends
Where do my cues come from?
Cues are the result of our interaction with the world and the perception
that we hold within us. They shape up from the moment we are born.
They are conscious or unconscious reasoning behind our decisions.
Where the cues come from - 2
• Observing an abusive relationship
• My dad lost his job because of one
• Abusive relationships are normal
• All rich people are evil
Cues are memories and concepts we hold in our minds. They work
because of the interchanges between our conceptual memories
and our perceptual memories processed in our brains.
My dad left us
I am all alone
Nobody loves me
Love doesn’t exist
It is better to stay with
A cheater than not
Having the love I need
If I love them,
They will leave
We choose concepts in life based on our perceptions of events.
Early events have the most influence over our perceptions. These
usually solidify over time through synaptic consolidation.
Feeling stressed out.
Lots of painful pressure
on your stomach.
Eating will fill up you
stomach. You won't feel
We usually find random ways to cope with stress. Escaping by
drinking, smoking, taking drugs and so on.
Associative model to change habits
There is no reason for old behaviour
New behaviour will be the only behaviour
In the associative model, we change the structure of the cue. By
disconnecting the link between the outcome and the cue, the
behaviour won’t be relevant anymore. There is no Reason for it.
Reality of our behaviours
One cue can
In reality, our habits, cues and routines are forming a complex
structure. One habit might have several cues or one cue may
trigger multiple behaviours. We need to know what to work on.
Cognitive or Associative
Changing your behaviour
based on willpower alone
can be very hard when
different habits are running
below the surface.
Only a small part of the brain
is devoted to decision
Using VMPF We can only
focus on changing one habit
at a time while everything
else is in the background.
Decision making region of brain
VentroMedial Prefrontal Cortex
Cues are made of conceptual
and perceptual memories.
We store these in our brains
likes books on a shelf.
Every memory acquired
needs to find its own place.
We recall and look at it many
times until is becomes stable.
This is called the Synaptic
Alter the Cue Structure
Each time we recall our
memories we go into the
process of Reconsolidation.
We now know that if we
diminish our inhibitory
actions in the prefrontal
cortex, we can relocate our
memories and change the
structure of our Cues.
This process is usually quick
and pain free.
Bullying Habits and Cues
I am being bullied
I don’t say anything
I am overweight
I am different
They don’t want
to be my friends
I am nobody
This is just one examples of habitual structure that I have
encountered with one of my clients. There are many more and
everyone has their own unique cues and behaviours.
The benefits of Reassociation:
• Change is very quick
• The structure doesn’t go back to its previous state
• If Combined with CBT, Results become permanent
• Use of willpower is minimized
Do you want to see if it works for you?
Book a free 30 minutes session
1 - The role of the basal ganglia in habit formation
2 – CBT Process : Cognitive Behavioural therapy
3 - Priming and Multiple Memory Systems: Perceptual Mechanisms of
4 - BDNF function in adult synaptic plasticity: The synaptic consolidation
5 - Weight control during the holidays: Highly consistent self-monitoring
as a potentially useful coping mechanism
6 - Different Contributions of the Human Amygdala and Ventromedial
Prefrontal Cortex to Decision-Making
7 - Extinction during reconsolidation of threat memory
diminishes prefrontal cortex involvement
Cyrus H. Sabounchi
Call 0421 136 102 for