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Poly Dating 101

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From Debauchery 2014: How to date when you're poly? Advice on where to find poly folks and how to be the best YOU you can be for the best dating results!

From Debauchery 2014: How to date when you're poly? Advice on where to find poly folks and how to be the best YOU you can be for the best dating results!


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  • 1. Poly Dating 101 Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating
  • 2. Where? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 3. Where? Hmmm... Hot Bi Babe seeks couple @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 4. Where? Wherever you are doing what you love @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 5. Where? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 6. Where? • OK Cupid @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 7. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 8. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 9. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 10. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 11. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions • Burning Man @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 12. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions • Burning Man • Bisexuality events @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 13. Know thyself @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 14. Know thyself @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 15. Your user manual @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 16. Your user manual @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com Tab A goes into Slot B? http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 17. User Manual: Part A Family history • Parents: relationship/major events! • Siblings: relationships/major events! • What are your basic traits?! • What is your baggage?! • What do you value in life? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 18. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 19. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally • Included! • Supported! • Opened up to! • Understood I need to feel... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 20. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally • Included! • Supported! • Opened up to! • Understood I need to feel... Here, let me help @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 21. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 22. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually What a lovely pattern! I hope he puts these in my butt! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 23. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually • What makes you giggle/feel weak?! • Which touches turn you on?! • What gestures are especially meaningful?! • What is a special date for you? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 24. User Manual: Part D What is sex? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 25. User Manual: Part D What is sex? We’re having sex right now! Wait... what?! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 26. User Manual: Part D What is sex? • What is your take on casual sex?! • What is sex?! • What are you into?! • Tried and true turn-ons?! • What are you willing to try?! • What are your turn-offs? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  • 27. Second to NONE! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 28. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 29. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 30. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 31. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 32. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 33. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 34. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing • spend time alone with your lover You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 35. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 36. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour • spend time together with both partners You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 37. Your responsibilities • State what you want/need! • Own your shit! • Negotiate guidelines! • Ask about your metamours! • Ask about STD testing and current forms of protection! • Check in regularly! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 38. Your responsibilities • State what you want/need! • Own your shit! • Negotiate guidelines! • Ask about your metamours! • Ask about STD testing and current forms of protection! • Check in regularly! Did you remember to get tested? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 39. How to date a couple @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 40. How to date a couple No, dear, tonight we find a Hot Bi Babe! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 41. What to do when they’re fighting @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 42. Warning signs • “She’s OK with it”! • Comparisons! • “She doesn’t understand that”! • Life-changing decisions during NRE! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  • 43. Poly Dating 101 Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating