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Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
Issue 16 Feb 1
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  • 1. The Conglomerate February 1, 2008 Centenary College of Louisiana’s Weekly Independent Press Volume 84, Issue 16 What’s Happening Centenary celebrates Mardi Gras Vote early for with Highland area community presidential Amanda Russell preferences Staff Writer Versha Sharma Editor-in-Chief You know it’s that special time of year when bakeries across the Early voting for the Louisiana state begin producing those gold, presidential preference primary green, and purple king cakes. Texas started on January 26 and will residents attending Centenary continue through this Saturday, sometimes complain about the early February 2. break and wonder what all the fuss The purpose of the primary is about, but those of us native to is for Louisiana voters to indicate Louisiana know that it is simply who they would like to see win the Carnival time. nominations of the Republican and The Carnival season Democratic parties (and ultimately, begins twelve days after Christmas who will take the White House in and ends on Mardi Gras, the day parade, November). The election is closed, before Ash Wednesday. Widely which will which means only voters registered considered to be the most important begin at 2 p.m. on to those parties can participate, and party in the United States, Mardi February 3, 2008. The krewe they can only vote for candidates Gras or “Fat Tuesday” celebrations should pass by Centenary between within their own parties. also occur in Italy and Brazil. The 3 and 3:30 p.m. Centenary College Parish Registrar of Voters offices Mardi Gras season is marked with of Louisiana will be represented by from 12 to 4 p.m. This are open all across the state from 8:30 celebration, parades, krewe balls, a float in the Highland Parade. If program has been a well- a.m. to 4:30 p.m. every day, including and as much debauchery as can be fit any student, faculty, staff, or alum is received event in past years. If you Saturday, for those who would like into one’s schedule before the Lenten interested in riding on the float, spots have any further questions, contact to vote. Those interested only need season begins. may be reserved for $40 a person Carla E. Alsandor at calsando@ bring their state driver’s license, Although it is far from (which includes a t-shirt and parade centenary.edu or call (318) 869-5008. a state special ID, or some other Louisiana’s Mardi Gras epicenter throws). Those interested should generally recognized picture ID. in New Orleans, Shreveport has contact alumni@centenary.edu for INSIDE All voters may vote early developed a vibrant Carnival tradition further details. without any specified reason. that serves the entertainment as According to Carla E. Alsandor, For those at Centenary who well as economic needs of North Director of Alumni Relations, the are unable to travel home, the last Louisiana residents. The Shreveport Centenary Alumni Association will What is the day to request a mail ballot from Times reports that according to a also host its annual Family Zone Schwab-o-meter? the Registrar of Voters is Tuesday, study done by the Shreveport-Bossier program on Jones-Rice Field. The February 5. The deadline for the Convention and Tourist Bureaus Family Zone provides area residents Find out on page 3 office to receive that ballot back is and the LSU Shreveport Center for and members of the Centenary Friday, February 8. Business and Economic Research, Community with a family-friendly SGA spends big bucks The actual primary is scheduled Mardi Gras festivities in Northwest environment in order to better enjoy for Saturday, February 9. Louisiana generate annual revenue watching the parade. Centenary will on Homecoming, The Caddo Parish Registrar of over $32 million dollars. With 30 provide free hotdogs, chips, and page 5 of Voters office is located at 525 krewes in the Northwest Louisiana drinks to those in attendance. Marshall Street (across from the region, the fun seems to never stop. The Centenary Alumni Caddo Courthouse), Suite 103. The Naturally, Centenary is ready to get Association encourages those Big movie stars film in phone number is (318) 226-6891. in on the Carnival fun. planning to attend to bring lawn Shreveport, read more For more information on registering As an important part of chairs, picnic gear, and outdoor games on page 14 and voting how-to, please visit www. the Highland Area Community, and equipment to further enhance sos.louisiana.gov or www.geauxvote. Centenary sits along the parade route their parade-watching experience. com. of the Krewe of Highland Mardi Gras The Family Zone program will run
  • 2. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Letter from the editor: Vote vote vote vote vote vote Versha Sharma Voters office is and vote. task requires. time here, and how much; it’s about Editor-in-Chief For those of you who just can’t Don’t let that fool you, however; whether or not you can get and keep wait, early voting is taking place until it might not require much, but it a decent-paying job after getting your I’ve heard enough people this Saturday, February 2, from 8:30 counts for a lot. In today’s jaded age, glorious Centenary degree, and then complaining about the top a.m. to 4:30 p.m. You don’t even need where we look to the debacle that it’s about tax relief; it’s about what will presidential candidates to know that a valid reason to do it - just your was the 2000 election and wonder happen next time a natural disaster this campus has an opinion. I just driver’s license! how much our vote really counts, the devastates one of our state’s most have one request (well, other than For those of you who don’t know, presidential primary is something beloved cities. Who the President is write in to the paper and tell us how I’m a Political Science major and a we can control. Whoever comes matters – his or her decisions echo you really feel): vote. news junkie. I know my editorship out strongest at the end of these around the world, nation, state, and On Super Tuesday, February of this newspaper has led to the primaries and caucuses will likely get this lil’ ole town, from the broadest 5, when a grand total of 22 states Conglomerate covering more politics the nominations of the Republican policy on spreading democracy in the will head to the polls to vote for than it has in the past (I’m proud and Democratic parties – and in world to the littlest detail about how who they want to represent their of it, but trust me, I am aware that the American political system, one much we pay for a full tank of gas. party, Louisiana will be partying some of you find this boring, and for of those two people will be elected More than that, this looks to – in true state style, it’s Mardi Gras. that I apologize and hope you enjoy President in November. (Sorry, Ralph be an election year when America Super Duper Tuesday can have New each week’s Sudoku) – but this is Nader.) will make history – electing the York and California; there’s no way something that I do really care about On college campuses first Mormon, female, or African- real Louisianans (also known as and something that I really want every everywhere, Centenary included, American President all look like Loozeaners) would get up to vote on member of the Centenary community there is a divide between the distinct possibilities, something I Fat Tuesday. (There may be no way to do. It is arguably the most effective politically impassioned and the myself thought was a bit far-fetched real Louisianans could get up to vote way to tell the government what’s on completely apathetic – but that can at this time last year. But who cares – hangovers and all.) your mind – by voting for McCain, change. Politics affect everyone. It’s about what history books will say in Luckily, our government is Romney, Huckabee, Clinton, Obama, not just about foreign policy and the future, or about fulfilling your smarter than they sometimes appear, or none of the above – and all it takes abstract concepts of freedom and civic duty, or representing the 18-24 and the state presidential primary is a short car ride to the registrar, liberty: it’s about whether or not your group well on the national stage? (We isn’t until Saturday, February 9. That’s about two minutes inside, and a short sibling or significant other may be had pretty pitiful turnout in the 2004 plenty of time to sort out your head, car ride back. We probably expend sent over to Iraq in a troop surge; it’s election.) Do it for yourself and for Centenarians – so make sure you more energy trying to stay awake in about what kinds of scholarships and how it affects your life. Vote. know where your parish Registrar of class on a daily basis than this small loans are available to you during your Question of the Week What would you do for “Drop it like it’s hot.” “Rob the float.” beads?? -Stacey Stokes, -Ashley Sholar, Senior Senior “Pretend I’m from Duke.” “Dirty, sexy sex.” “Kill a small child.” “Stand there.” -Amos Sit, -Jessica Cosenza, -Alysha Wallace, -Ms. Kristy Jackson, Junior Junior Junior Assistant Director of Residence Life
  • 3. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Features Centenary Conglomerate Staff Versha Sharma Centenary faculty and staff bond with Editor-in-Chief vsharma@centenary.edu nature (literally) Courtney Delaney Layout Editor Centenary Environmental Association and Chemistry Club lead “Chains for cdelaney@centenary.edu Change” fundraiser to buy Solar Array Rhagen Russell Article and rockin’ images by students will have to pony up the doe- Well now is your time to step up Copy Editor Dr. Jeanne Hamming -a whopping $300 for each faculty/ and support a good cause while rrussell@centenary.edu staff member. To donate, contact any I chain myself to a tree for your President Schwab a treehugger? member of the CEA or Chemistry amusement.” Kevin Wagner had Stephanie Schreiber No way. Yes way! Club, or drop by the offices of our no comment. treehugging faculty and staff where If enough funds are raised, a Features Editor Centenary’s Environmental Association and Chemistry Club donation jars will be available. 720-watt solar array will be installed sschreib@centenary.edu announce plans to raise funds to Whereas normally activists hug on the roof of Magale Library. The install a 720-watt solar array on the trees to prevent harm from being done array will produce 1117 kilowatts Todd Johnson roof of Magale Library. The plan: to to old-growth forests, these devoted per year (93.1 kw/month, 3.1 A E Editor chain four members of the college’s treehuggers will agitate for change kw/day). This produces enough trjohnso@centenary.edu faculty and staff to the oak tree outside in the form of solar energy. When energy each day to power 5.5 of Bynum Commons as an homage to asked to comment on his impending Desktop computers with printers encounter with a tree, Dr. Schwab for 10 hours. More importantly, Michael Jarboe civilly-disobedient environmentalists who chain themselves to trees to responded enthusiastically: “I love the solar energy generated from a Sports Editor prevent deforestation. trees, and besides, everyone needs a 720-watt solar array prevents 1,469 mjarboe@centenary.edu President Ken Schwab, Assistant hug once in a while.” Dr. Chirhart had pounds of coal from being burned Dean of Students Kevin Wagner, this to say: “Have you ever wanted to each year, prevents 2,592 pounds Emily DeLatin Dr. Scott Chirhart, and Dr. Jeanne get back at me? Maybe I gave you a of CO2 from being released into Mindy McKoin Hamming have agreed to “hug a tree” bad grade, or I am about to give you the atmosphere each year, and Photographers for thirty minutes on April 22, Earth a bad grade. Maybe I just give you conserves 924 gallons of water Day. But they won’t do it for free. a hard time. Maybe you don’t like each year. To witness this “green” spectacle, the fact that I am so AWESOME! Carly Carpenter Business Manager Kari Patterson Circulation Manager Copyright © 2008 The Conglomerate is an independent student publication, and does not reflect the opinions of Centenary College of Louisiana. Contact: paper@centenary.edu Phone: 318-869-5269 The Conglomerate 2911 Centenary Blvd. Shreveport, LA 71134
  • 4. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Opinion: A Midwesterner’s view of Mardi Gras (alcohol and beads) Kari Patterson interesting and very different from with Osama bin Laden target boards hadn’t done for about ten years--and Staff Writer parades I’d experienced back home. got the most beads of all. was amazed to see that they let people First of all, it is illegal for anyone Once the parade had ended and take alcohol on the ride. I commented Mardi Gras is certainly an to throw anything from parade I had my armful of beads, I received on the oddity, and a friend explained, interesting tradition in Louisiana, floats in my hometown, and public conflicting instructions on what to do “Well, as long as he doesn’t jump out, and until this year it was twice as drunkenness is not allowed. It was with them. Passers-by offered advice it’s okay.” important as Easter (if importance certainly a one-of-a-kind experience that ranged from getting a “bead bag” Having now experienced my can be judged by length of breaks). to stand next to a completely trashed to putting them in a glass vase, but very first Mardi Gras, I can definitively Last year, as a “Yankee,” I wanted to grandmother who waved her pink the one thing everyone agreed upon say that I still don’t understand much try to get a feel for what Mardi Gras fuzzy cowboy hat at the passing floats was that under no circumstances of it, but it was a lot of fun. Never is all about without having to risk life, to get as many plastic beads thrown was I allowed to throw them away. fear, those three of you at Centenary limb, and liver in New Orleans. So, at her head as possible. Fortunately Plastic beads are semi-precious who have never celebrated Mardi under the wing of a native Louisianan, for me, she kept turning and nearly objects in the world of Mardi Gras, Gras before; if I can survive, so can I ventured forth to Lafayette for a falling off the chair she was standing but there was no way I was going to you! Just keep an open mind and parade. I was advised that I would on to sling beads around my neck, take them home. Every Northerner I don’t judge. Hey, I really don’t have enjoy the parades there more than declaring that I didn’t have nearly know assumes that there’s only one room to talk anyways; the highlight in a small-town environment like enough. Apparently she hadn’t way to get beads, and that was not of my hometown’s festival is seeing Berwick, where instead of beads noticed the twenty thousand strands a reputation I wanted. I did the next who can grow the biggest pumpkin. and floats, I would get to watch that I had already accumulated, since best thing, though: I gave them to Louisianans have alcohol and beads lawnmowers while catching snorkel having a friend announce to the people some kids. at their party, and we have giant gear, McDonald’s toys, and Check- on the floats that it was my first Mardi After the parade, my “guide” squash. I hear that Arkansas is lovely into-Cash advertisements. While I’m Gras was the equivalent of painting and I went to some kind of fair, where this time of year, though. sure they were amazing McDonald’s a target on my head. However, I do I succumbed to a bit of nostalgia and toys, the Lafayette parade was quite believe the men standing near me rode the Ferris wheel--something I Make a difference this Mardi Gras with community service Jessica Brown afternoons and evenings free. This means they particularly welcome n21113938 Staff Writer is a good deal, but only if you are marginalized groups, such as the Yvonne P. Dayries willing to do the work. Listed below GLBT and homeless communities. Volunteer Manager, UMCOR Finally the time has come to take are groups to contact before you get Contact Anita if you would like to 7100 Read Blvd. another wonderful little break from to New Orleans. If you’re staying in contribute to this service. New Orleans, LA 70126 school and celebrate. When people the Shreveport area, there are soup Luke’s House 225-346-5193 think “Mardi Gras,” they often think kitchens and an animal shelter that 2700 Louisiana Ave. (between laumcstormrelief.org of king cake, beads, and Bourbon would love your help. Go ahead and St. Charles and S. Claiborne) Volunteer with the United Street. Mardi Gras does encompass play with dogs for an hour or give Free Healthcare Clinic open Methodist Committee on Relief for these things and so much more. someone from the streets a meal. I Tuesdays 6-8 p.m. a couple of days over the Mardi Gras Mardi Gras is the day before think you’ll find that it will make a For more information or to break. Contact the Read Blvd. office Ash Wednesday, and it celebrates the world of difference not only to them, volunteer, contact Jiselle Bock at 899- to coordinate dates and housing. Cost end of Carnival. The cities best known but to you as well. 3431 or lukeshouseclinic@gmail. is $5/person/day to cover housing. for their Mardi Gras celebrations If you are visiting New Orleans, com. Work can include anything within are Rio de Janeiro, Venice, and New you should check out the intact http://f ind ar ticle s .com/p/ your skill level, such as painting, Orleans. Fortunately for those of us French Quarter and see as many articles/mi_qn4200/is_20071114/ai_ drywall, flooring, installing cabinets, at Centenary, one of the most famous parades as possible. According to etc. places to celebrate Mardi Gras is just safety websites, people should not a road trip away. enter the famous New Orleans However, as we all know, the city of New Orleans was devastated graveyards without a tour, as they have become areas of crime. In Scholarship Opportunity by hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Even Shreveport you can check out the before Katrina and Rita, Louisiana Ark-La-Tex Mardi Gras Museum and $25,000 scholarship for deserving students who self was the second poorest state in the pick up a king cake at Julie Anne’s Bakery on Kings Highway. Have fun, identify as being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered nation. With a median household income $10,000 below the national be safe, and remember that you can provided by PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of average, Louisiana felt the pangs of make a difference. Lesbians and Gays) poverty even before the hurricanes St. Mark’s UMC 1130 N Rampart St For additional information, contact Dr. Joe Melcher, struck. However, there is something you can do to help. New Orleans, LA 70116 Chair of the Scholarship Committee Did you know that you can 504-523-0450 (504) 944-6013 receive free housing in exchange for A meal is served for the homeless and anyone else who would like to (504) 520-5099 volunteering in New Orleans? You can aid the poverty-stricken during join every Sunday at 11:00. St. Mark’s Due date for applications: February 10, 2008 the morning while getting your late is a reconciling congregation, which
  • 5. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Student Government Association International News Meeting January 22, 2007 Israel’s blockade causes crisis in Gaza Charles Eddy Resolution 0708_23 to allocate $11,870.50 and manpower to Staff Writer ‘Homecoming 2008: A Century in the Making…Here’s to the next 100,’ February 17-23. According to the BBC, Israel closed Gaza’s border on January 17, 2008, After much debate, this resolution was amended and passed in cutting power to Gaza City and leaving the region dangerously low on food, the amount of $10,000. fuel, and supplies. Now Gazans have destroyed parts of the border wall into Egypt in order to buy necessities no longer available to them. The Israeli blockade is a response to rocket attacks from Hamas. Meeting January 29, 2007 Ehud Olmert, Prime Minister of Israel, was quoted as saying, “As far as I’m (Old Business) concerned, all the residents of Gaza can walk and have no fuel for their cars, because they have a murderous terrorist regime that doesn’t allow people in Resolution 0708_25 to allocate $1050.00 to the Centenary the south of Israel to live in peace.” Fellowship of Christian Athletes to attend the annual FCA Humanitarian organizations are urging Israel to stop the blockade, as College Athlete Retreat. water and food shortages have seriously lowered the standard of living for The resolution was amended and passed at $850. residents. Egypt is doing everything possible to aid those who flee over the border. Israel is in a bind because its strategy has been to keep Hamas isolated in the area. With the Gazan-Egyptian border open, Israel fears the smuggling Resolution 0708_26 requesting SGA to match, up to $1,200, of weapons to Gaza, where they could be used to launch attacks on Israel. the monetary amount that the Centenary College Chemistry Despite acknowledging this, Israel has said that it won’t open the border. Club and Centenary Environmental Association will raise, and allocate that amount to those two groups to purchase four solar panels for the Centenary College campus. The resolution was debated but ultimately was fully funded at Learning Lab $1,200. Schedule Writing Lab Sun-Thur 8-10 pm Resolution 0708_27 to allocate $1,000 to Escaped Images to attend the South Central Regional American College Dance Learning Labs (various subjects available) Sun-Thurs 6-9 pm Conference scheduled February 27 – March 1, 2008. The resolution was debated and amended and passed with $800. The labs should be opening starting on the 23rd. (New Business) Satellite will likely collide with Earth Resolution 0708_28 to allocate $320.00 to fund activities for Best Buddies of Centenary College. Stephanie Schreiber Heard presentation; suspended the rules to vote on it that night; Features Editor resolution was debated and ultimately fully funded at $320; the The U.S. government is monitoring the descent of a spy satellite that provision requiring Best Buddies to return unused fund was may hit the earth within the next several weeks. After days of remaining taken out of the resolution. tightlipped on any details, government officials have revealed that the satellite is a classified National Reconnaissance Office spacecraft approximately the Resolution 0708_29 to allocate $1,480 to Alpha Sigma Chi size of a minivan. At this point it’s impossible to know where it will hit, but (Chemistry Club) to attend the National American Chemistry other nations have been warned that the satellite lost power and cannot be Conference from April 6-10. controlled. Similar incidents have occurred in the past with few negative Heard presentation; resolution tabled until next meeting. consequences. It isn’t uncommon for satellites to drop out of orbit, but most of them burn up upon re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. On occasions Resolution 0708_30 to allocate $2,400 to the Christian when debris did reach the earth’s surface, it landed in oceans and uninhabited Leadership Center to attend a mission trip to Mexico scheduled areas. for March 14 through March 19 of 2008. This satellite may contain hydrazine fuel, which is fatal to humans in large Heard presentation; resolution tabled until next meeting. doses; however, in the likely event that the tank breaks in re-entry, the fuel will burn off and pose no further problems. John Pike, defense expert and director of GlobalSecurity.org, claims that a spy satellite would not use nuclear fuel, but Resolution 0708_31 to charter the Centenary Musical Theater it may contain toxins such as beryllium. The U.S. military could potentially try Group and allocate $650 for its use in the spring musical theater to shoot it down, but that would only scatter space debris. review. As of January 28, 2008, there have been no public predictions of where Heard presentation; suspended the rules to vote on it that night; the satellite will land, but it will likely hit the earth in late February or early resolution was debated and amended and passed at $500. March.
  • 6. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Presidential Election 2008 News in brief: big changes, big endorsements, big wins - and Super Duper Tuesday Versha Sharma Former Senator John Edwards John McCain won the Super Tuesday (also known as Editor-in-Chief announced his end of campaigning endorsements of Rudy Giuliani and Super Duper Tuesday, Giga Tuesday, on Wednesday in New Orleans, the Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger Tsunami Tuesday, and The Tuesday same city in which he officially stated this week. The two prominent of Destiny, in various and sometimes After receiving less-than- his intent to run for President. His Republicans’ favored states, New ridiculous press reports), which satisfactory results in Florida’s absence leaves just Hillary Clinton York and California, are participating will happen on February 5, is so primary on Tuesday, former New and Barack Obama to battle for the in Super Tuesday. named because 22 states are holding York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani nomination of the Democratic Party, primaries or caucuses (the largest ever dropped his bid for the Republican and both scrambled to reach out to to be held at the same time). Because presidential nomination. Giuliani his voters afterward, both speaking so many states are participating, skipped campaigning in other states highly of the campaign Edwards in addition to the votes that have in order to focus his attention and ran. He highlighted the plight of already passed, a significant portion money on Florida, which he was poverty-stricken and middle-class of the convention delegates will be going to use as a platform from which families suffering from the uncertain decided. That is unusual so early in to win the party’s nomination. The economy, as well as trade and health the election cycle (just the first week former mayor came in third behind care. As of Thursday morning, of February): the Associated Press, John McCain and Mitt Romney and Edwards had not endorsed either as reported in The Boston Globe and officially ended his White House run Democratic candidate. The Washington Post, projects that on Wednesday. 52% of the Democratic and 41% of the Pictured: John McCain, courtesy of www. Republican delegates will be awarded northwestern.edu. by the end of Super Tuesday. Tech column: Great innovations in web browsing and e-books Charles Eddy Flickr. Native support for RSS feeds ten ounces, and has a battery life of Kindle also features a built- Staff Writer gives users the newest updates from about a week if the wireless adapter in dictionary, wireless access their favorite websites, and a full set is turned off. to Wikipedia, and can have top Flock streamlines social of extensions allows customization. It boasts a new kind of screen newspapers auto-delivered every networking The development team for Flock that Amazon calls “electronic paper,” morning. has even said on its website that it meaning, according to Kindle’s Whether or not it’s a viable Over the years, web browsers will integrate Yahoo Mail, Gmail, and product page, “[Kindle has a] black- technology that will stand the test have struggled to evolve, each Picasa in the next iteration, Flock 1.1, and-white screen that resembles the of time is unknown, but Kindle time fighting against one another which should be released by the end appearance and readability of printed is certainly cool. It’s also been to improve different aspects of of the month. paper. The screen works using ink, perpetually sold out since its release the browsers—think Netscape vs. just like books and newspapers, but on November 19, 2007, and it still Internet Explorer 5 and 6, or Firefox Kindle by Amazon might be displays the ink particles electronically. has a waiting list because Amazon 2.0.* vs. Internet Explorer 7. Most the new face of e-books It reflects light like ordinary paper and can’t produce the devices quickly of the time, the enhancements are uses no backlighting, eliminating the enough to meet demand. Apparently on the security front. Sometimes It’s incredibly pricey at $399 glare associated with other electronic the business of books isn’t going streamlined usability or the user’s dollars, but Kindle is a strong displays. As a result, Kindle can be down without a fight, regardless of ability to customize the browser is at innovation in the field of… books. read as easily in bright sunlight as in the frightening statistics about the the heart of the battle. Honestly, that was something I had your living room. The screen never percentage of the population who Now, thanks to the open source never expected to say in a technology gets hot, so you can comfortably read doesn’t read. Flock browser (based on Mozilla column, but Amazon has forced my as long as you like.” Firefox code), Mozilla and Microsoft hand. might have to start watching their Kindle is an e-book reader with backs. some new technology that puts it Flock, available for Linux, miles ahead of the competition. For Mac OS X, and Windows, lets users starters, it can wirelessly download integrate a lot of their life directly into books almost anywhere via EVDO, the browser. On the left bar, users the same wireless technology used in can monitor, update, and upload to most new cell phones. It supposedly social networking sites like Myspace, holds over 200 titles (or more, with Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and an optional SD card), weighs just over
  • 7. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Meet Maya Trinkjaer, a great Dane who already loves Phoenix Underground Congo: And how old are places. Anywhere in Europe you about what you’ve seen here so far? you? haven’t been that you would like to Maya: I really don’t like the Maya: I’m 23. go? cafeteria food, but from what I Congo: What classes are you Maya: I really want to visit Italy, hear, that is not unusual even for taking this semester? Switzerland, and Austria. the American students. I was also Maya: This semester I am Congo: Explain your first shocked by the way the students taking Advanced Visual Culture, impression of America. dance. I was not expecting that. American Literature, and Literature Maya: My first impression Congo: So what plans do you and the Environment. of America was when I was flying have for your stay in America? Congo: What are some of into Dallas’s DFW Airport. The Maya: I plan to go to Mardi your hobbies? city looked huge from above and Gras in New Orleans, and I am very Maya: I played soccer for everything else around it seemed flat, excited. I would also like to see an Jessica Brown ten years and really enjoyed it. I love which is what I had heard about the Indian reservation. Other than that, Staff Writer hanging out with my friends and United States. I would still really like I plan to visit Dallas, Texas; Mobile, going clubbing. My favorite club here to explore Dallas. It looked like a very Alabama; and Florida. Maya comes to Centenary this so far is the Phoenix Underground. interesting city from above. Congo: And what are your semester from Aarhus University I like reading and enjoy literature. I Congo: What do you think career plans? in Denmark. She arrived shortly also love traveling and have traveled about Centenary? Maya: I would like to be an after Christmas break and will to several places in Europe. Maya: The people here are much English teacher in Turkey as of right stay through the semester. Maya is Congo: Where in Europe have more open and kinder than I thought now. After that, I’m not too sure. studying Scandinavian languages and you visited? they would be. It really surprised As you can see, Maya is an literature with a minor in English. Her Maya: I have been to France, me. In Denmark when people pass exciting exchange student and is time spent at Centenary will focus on Norway, Sweden, Spain, Germany, you on the street, they don’t even definitely worth getting to know. her English minor. Bulgaria, Russia, and Turkey, to name acknowledge you. Here they want to She’s fun and easy to talk to. So far Congo: So, Maya, where in a few places. say hello and see how you are doing. she really loves America and, most Denmark were you born? Congo: Wow, that’s a lot of Congo: What don’t you like importantly, Centenary. Maya: Aalborg. Sex and the Centenary: 1 + 1 = 4? Understanding polyamory Southern Elle, Staff Writer possessiveness are merely restrictive the relationship. Relationships can believe in loyalty, fidelity, and trust cultural ideas, that the possibility of also be mono/poly, which means – keeping secrets, lying, or sleeping If you think that open loving more people leads to more one partner is monogamous while with someone without their partner’s relationships are an invention of fulfilling lives, or that sexual attraction the other partner chooses to have knowledge would be breaking college guys trying to get laid by is a fluid desire which does not stop multiple relationships. Some of these fidelity. Instead, each partner must multiple women, well, it’s time to get with the “bounds” of commitment. relationships may also be sexually have trust, respect, support, and re-edumacated and leave the dark ages. There is no “set definition” of a open but not emotionally – in other honesty for all partners. Just like We’ve arrived in the 21st century, and polyamorous relationship. In some words, the partners may have casual monogamous relationships, there has many people are starting to wonder if cases, there are two “primary” or sexual relations with other people to be a whole lot of communication monogamy is really the end-all, be-all more committed partners (who may but not fall in love with others. for these relationships to work. Often in relationships. Why is it that most be married, dating for long periods This might sound a little far- partners will have “veto power,” or animal species (including penguins, of time, etc.) who choose to have fetched, but you would probably be the ability to request their partners which are only monogamous for a relations with other people outside surprised to find that you might know not to have a relationship, sexually year) have multiple partners over of this commitment. If couples follow a few people who practice polyamory. or emotionally, with someone they their life spans? Could some humans polyfidelity, then they are “fluid- Because polyamory is not very socially don’t approve. The partners may possibly be (biologically, socially, or bonded.” This means the two partners accepted, many people remain choose to lay out specific ground both – I’m not taking on this fight) agree that it is acceptable to kiss, date, closeted about their lifestyle. But it rules on what activities and actions more adept at relationships which and/or touch others, but not to swap is not just the act of having multiple are acceptable in the relationship. don’t require dire monogamy? fluids (e.g. have sex) with another partners that is revolutionary. The But most importantly, polyamorous Enter polyamory. If you missed person. Other couples may choose to ideas behind polyamory, which stress couples don’t believe in possessing or both Greek and Latin, that translates have secondary or sub-relationships, communication, trust, respect, and controlling other partners – instead, to “many loves” (using, weirdly, a which mean the partners would have a lack of jealousy, can help improve it is a common trust, love, and respect mixture of both languages). Unlike relationships with other people. all relationships – both monogamous that keep people together, not fear of polygamy (many wives, one husband), These relationships may or may not and polyamorous ones. cheating or jealousy. “polyamory” is the practice of having include sex, depending on the couple’s Polyamory (and the many If this sounds interesting (or multiple relationships with multiple wishes. These relationships may people who practice this lifestyle) is confusing) and you want to know more, people simultaneously, with the full be heterosexual or homosexual or often not concerned with “how” a there are tons of websites to check consent and knowledge of all involved. bisexual, depending on the couple. relationship appears (e.g. the number out. I recommend www.polyamory. Polyamorous individuals may choose Polyamorous couples may also of people or who is in a relationship org, www.polyamorysociety.org, and this lifestyle for many reasons. include three people who choose with whom). Instead, the major www.lovemore.com. Wikipedia’s They may feel that monogamy is to date, be committed, or have concern is that every person involved article on polyamory also has some too confining, that jealousy and children as a group. This may or has full knowledge and consent of the interesting history and information. may not include sex, depending on situation. Polyamorous couples still
  • 8. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Advice from Allison: On life after graduation and losing weight Allison Cormier Dear Scared, Who knows, maybe the second time gain: chicken nuggets at 11 p.m., pizza Staff Writer Most people do not know around you can get a degree that is every day in the Caf, and lots and lots what to do with their lives even after actually worth something. of spirits on Greek Row. Losing the The opinions and ideas expressed in this finding a job or graduating with weight is definitely a lot harder than article do not in any way reflect those of advanced degrees. You need to ignore Dear Allison, gaining it. A few things I like to do Centenary College, the Conglomerate, outside pressures, whether they be I want to lose a little bit of weight are varying my workouts, cutting or the writer herself. In fact, these ideas your parents encouraging you to that I have been steadily gaining since back on refined carbohydrates, and probably don’t express any intelligently informed opinions anyway. become a doctor, your grandfather freshman year. It was never a problem drinking lots of water. If these things who wants you to attend the same until my clothes stopped fitting as do not work for you, then you still Dear Allison, law school as he did, or your friends well. I already work out three times a have a few more options. You can I am graduating in May and telling you that you have the goods week and I try to eat reasonably well. learn to love your new body as long have no idea what I want to do with to be a mediocre erotic dancer. You What else can I do to lose some of as you maintain a healthy lifestyle. my life. Everyone else seems to either need to channel out these influences this weight? If accepting this new weight is still have a job lined up or have been and focus on what you really want Jiggly Junior not satisfying you, you can always accepted into a graduate program. to do, as opposed to what you have just become friends with people who I’m worried that I won’t ever figure been told you want to do. If May Dear Jiggly, are bigger than you. That way, you’ll out what to do with my life. What can arrives and you still don’t have a clue A lot of people tend to gain a always look thin when you’re around I do to start figuring this out? as to what to do post-undergrad, then little extra body mass throughout them. Scared Senior you can always reapply to Centenary their undergraduate experience. The College for another four-year go at it. environment is perfect for weight College Night has moved! To Pieworks on Pierremont in Towne Oaks Square next to Superior Steakhouse Every Friday from 5 until close. get a medium 1 topping pizza for only $5.00, 2 for 1 Wine, Well, and Draft $4.00 Domestic pitchers, $5.00 Import Pitchers
  • 9. February 1, 2008 Volume 84, Issue 16 Strange but true news: manic carrot-lovers, weird baby names, and ferrets Kat Michiels about 45 members. Friday to Gregory. After he was 89 frozen ferrets discovered Staff Writer On the other side, groups are actually born on Friday, the family Authorities called to investigate also being created to counter the named the kid Friday because an animal control situation uncovered Carrot lovers plan shopping carrot surplus. Concerned about they liked the name and the way it 89 frozen ferrets in a Virginia home. spree the carrots that will be wasted, many sounded. In addition to the dead ones, the Harry Potter and *NSYNC people are trying to organize post-day However, somebody decided animal police also rescued over 200 fans were always over the top, but cooking parties. These parties will to inform the tribunal, and it went live animals. a Facebook group that has enlisted cook large stews and other carrot- up to the courts from there. Citing The ferrets were in a basic deep over 100,000 members has a different filled dishes to bring to homeless an Italian law that prevents children freezer in the basement, along with a love- carrots. The group of orange shelters and the like. being named anything “ridiculous cat, a rat, and other frozen animals. vegetable lovers is planning a major If this goes over well, Centenary or shameful,” the court is forcing the Authorities do not know yet why the shopping spree. On May 15, 2008, at should consider starting a mass parents to change the child’s name to animals were in the freezer. 2:00 in the afternoon, members of the movement of buying eggplant. If Gregory, who is the saint of the day They also took over 100 live group plan to go to the local grocery we get a bunch of people to join in, he was born. ferrets, cats, dogs, and birds from the store and buy up as many carrots as maybe we can eradicate the ugly Friday/Gregory, only fifteen house. The animals were in such bad they can. This “panic-buy” started purple vegetable. months old, won’t remember a thing, health that 61 of the ferrets had to be out as a joke, but has since branched If you want to join the movement, and it doesn’t look like anyone else euthanized. out into something much more. sign up at www.panicbuyers.co.nr will either. An appeals court refused No word yet on why the Virginia Critics are saying that members to hear the case, apparently because home had so many animals, especially of the group are irresponsible and Court forces kid to change his Friday is considered an unlucky day. frozen ones. that the panic-buy will cause a name Good thing Apple, Pearl, True mass carrot shortage. An opposing Look out celebrities- an Italian Harlow, Banjo, and Pilot Inspektor This week’s bit of trivia: Popeye Facebook group has been created court order is forcing a family to claim their citizenship elsewhere. has four nephews: Pipeye, Peepeye, to oppose the shopping date- it has change its offspring’s name from Pupeye, and Poopeye. Seriously. Breaking news: whales are possibly anti-American terrorists Amanda Russell five species of endangered whales). the free world away from evil and to Afghanistan in the sense they Staff Wrtier In an attempt to circumvent the into everlasting democracy, his “aid and abet terrorists.” Whales Court order, President Bush quickly word is law. Bush’s labels the Navy’s are no longer safe or welcome. But Who has a problem with whales? responded by granting the Navy interference with whale activity a Americans must be watchful. Whales Besides being oversized and fish-like, waivers. Bush claims he issued the matter of national security. That’s could be living among you right now. they generally stay to themselves waivers on ‘national security grounds.’ what makes this even more alarming. They may be your neighbors, your co- and hide in the ocean, free from the The Times reports that this is not Is there something he knows about workers, or the old woman who sits prying eyes of Hollywood. “Free really a matter of national security, the whales that the rest of the country next to you on the bus and smells of Willy” star Keiko the orca whale is the but a matter of convenience to the should? Using cryptic analysis and cat piss and rotting cheese. She could general exception. His time spent in Navy. I beg to differ. Google, I have uncovered the secret very well be a whale. Hollywood, starring in hot Hollywood Although I think whales are of these beasts. The U.S. must take steps to movies beginning with “Free Willy,” cute and generally harmless, I First, Bush calls the Navy’s combat whales immediately. First, put him on the map. Whales also eat remembered back to an episode of interference a “matter of national those living next to bodies of water plankton, fish, or other sea creatures “Wildboyz.” In this episode Johnny security.” The executive office that where whales may be hiding must and help maintain the Earth’s balance. Knoxville and the Wildboyz, Steve-O deals with issues of national is the be immediately armed with whale Whales are generally regarded as just and Chris Pontius, watched as killer Department of Homeland Security. harpoons. Next, captured whales plain fun to watch - but not if you are whales exploded out of the ocean The DHS was created in 2002 to must undergo some form of torture President Bush. The Commander-in- onto the beach to eat sea lions lying protect the national security interests other than ‘water boarding’ (because Chief has recently labeled whales a there helplessly. It was terrifying. of the United States by combating let’s face it, whales dig water). threat to national security. These whales are a threat to sea lions the effects of terrorism and natural Finally, Democrats and The New York Times reported and Americans everywhere. Ever disasters. Since whales can’t cause Republicans must come together last week that the U.S Navy’s active wonder why they’re endangered in any natural disasters that I know to solve this worldwide issue sonar program, used to locate quiet- the first place? Man and beast alike of, President Bush must have been and break whale networks and running submarines, disrupts marine have tried their best to destroy these referring to terrorism with his strongholds across the world. With m.ammals that use their own internal creatures over the years. “Free Willy” statements. So, if whales are a threat global warming melting the icecaps sonar and “acoustical systems” to attempted to cast the killer whale in to national security, and terrorists increasing sea levels, whales will locate one another, mate, feed, and more positive light, but the killings are a threat to national security it have more places to hide. Maybe we navigate the ocean. A federal district continued. I suspect the whales have logically follows that WHALES ARE should use nukes on the whales. All I judge in California issued a series also been interfering with the Navy’s TERRORISTS! know is that something must be done of mandates ordering the Navy to sonar communication system to This startling revelation will and it better be done fast before these modify some of its sonar practices intercept state secrets. shock the world once the media whales breed, form associations, and to protect mammals off the coast of Since President Bush is God’s catches word of the story. Sea Worlds take over the world with their sneaky Southern California (which includes chosen servant on Earth to lead across the country will be compared fish eyes.
  • 10. February 1, 2008 10 Volume 84, Issue 16 Satire: “Leave Bobby Alone!” - the ethics of ignorance Amanda Russell year-old really understand economic and subsequently released by her New Congo Favorite lessons such as the importance of demons. I’ve seen “The Exorcist” saving money just as the Brady kids and “The Exorcism of Emily Rose.” I first met the Governor when were forced to do when their dad Trust me; I don’t want to see any he visited my hometown while I installed a pay phone in the living type of demon, in any type of was in high school. Piyush “Bobby” room? But more importantly, why did form, in any type of body. Save Jindal served as my Congressional Piyush choose Bobby as his favorite the vomiting and body contusions Representative for many years before Brady boy? Surely the handsome, and spider-eating Satan babies for running for the state’s highest office arrogant Greg or the stuck-in- Hollywood, thank you very much. and losing to former Governor Blanco the-middle Peter would have been While still a Louisiana in 2003. Besides that stunning defeat, better. Maybe then Jindal could have Representative, Bobby reached Jindal has since had some amazing married a winner of “America’s Next hero status once again. Jindal victories. Top Model.” Who knows? delivered his own baby at home on Not to be outdone by Dalip Singh In addition to learning life’s August 16, 2006. Jindal’s son Slade Saund, a Democratic Representative lessons at an early age, Jindal was born to his wife Supriya at from California who was the converted from Hinduism to approximately 3:25 that morning first Indian-American to serve in Catholicism. This is a big deal. Family shortly before the ambulance buying cookies. He had to go and buy Congress, Jindal became the first non- pressures to subscribe to certain arrived. Jindal, an honors biology cookies and not tell anyone about white governor of Louisiana since religious faiths or denominations major at Brown University, played where he got them. Last Friday’s Reconstruction on October 20, 2007. can be overwhelming for any person. doctor while following the phone Shreveport Times reported that Jindal He is also the first elected Indian- Take for instance the time some of instructions of a nurse, ultimately violated a state campaign finance American governor in U.S. history. my friends and I stopped by one of tying off the baby’s umbilical cord law. Jindal’s campaign reportedly Now, if you’re from Louisiana, you those Big Tent Revivals on the side of with a shoe string. Bobby obviously failed to disclose more than $118,000 know the politics of the state. If not, the highway just to see what all the likes the spotlight. It wasn’t enough in funding he received from the when I say the “politics of the state” passing out and shaking was about. that he was about to become the first Louisiana Republican Party while what I really mean is that most of the Later when my mom found out, she Indian-American governor or was running for governor. That much people are conservative and do not nearly passed out herself while she capable of exercising demons. He had money would be equivalent to a bunch take kindly to change, but Louisiana shook me. to go and play doctor with his wife’s of conservative ladies buying Jindal a usually ends up with a Democrat as But not only did Piyush abandon vajayjay. My favorite part of this story house, or a really expensive car, or governor because he or she is able the Hinduism of his childhood, he is the campaign slogans that were 118,000 crispy chicken sandwiches to garner the black Democratic vote adopted Roman Catholicism. Of generated. My favorite was “Jindal from Wendy’s and him attempting to (there are 40 Democratic governors all the Christian denominations, I Delivers.” keep it under wraps. I think if he ate and only ten Republican governors in really think Catholicism is one of Since conquering syndicated 118,000 crispy chicken sandwiches, Louisiana’s history). the harder ones to convert over to. television, Roman Catholicism, however, the public might notice. With much of the state’s southern First of all, you have to take classes to demon magic, and unsanitary Jindal must attend a public hearing African-American population on the learn what Catholicism is all about. birthing environments (shoestrings!), on the matter scheduled for July 10. run since Hurricanes Katrina and I went to Sunday school and sang what could possibly be left for this But to all the liberal media-lites Rita, Democrats across the South songs like “Father Abraham” and man to full-Nelson to the ground? out there soaking up this situation, scrambled to round up votes in the last “Jesus Loves Me” while my Catholic Ethics, my friend, ethics. Bobby Jindal I have one thing to say…How dare election. Intelligent and conservative friends memorized the saints, recited likes ethics. In fact, he likes ethics so anyone out there make fun of Bobby? Jindal was able to come out on top. prayers, and learned other church much he made ethics his number one After all he’s been through! He lost But how much do we really know rituals. So not only did Bobby have to priority when he assumed office this the election in 2003, he saw a girl about the man we call Bobby? Three learn a whole new religious doctrine, past month. with a demon, he had two kids…all seconds of mindless Internet research he did this while in high school. I When I picture Ethics, I think you people care about is readers unconvered some interesting facts know persons of all ages convert to of a 12-year-old Girl Scout. She is and making money off of him! He’s about our new governor. different denominations all the time, selling cookies and also carrying a a human! What you don’t realize is Jindal supposedly takes his but I can just picture a high-school math test. She got an A+. She has Bobby is making you all this money nickname from “Brady Bunch” version of Bobby sitting in child- perfect double-braids, freckles, and and all you do is write a bunch of character “Bobby.” According to sized chair in his catechism class bells on her shoes. She is followed by crap about him! He hasn’t stood on family lore, Bobby fell in love with while a group of 12-year-old girls in rabbits, bunnies, birds, chipmunks, a soapbox in years; his platform is the ’70s sitcom and adopted the frilly white dresses whisper behind and probably a couple of dwarves. ethics for a reason – because all you nickname of the youngest Brady son, his back because he couldn’t recite Unfortunately, Ethics was dropped people want is ethics, ethics, ethics! Bobby. I find this odd. I don’t know his ‘Hail Mary’ prayers fast enough. off at Bobby’s house by Vice. Vice is Leave him alone! You’re lucky he even about most of you, but at the age of With catechism behind him, driving a black van. She has curly red ran for you bastards! LEAVE BOBBY four I was watching ‘Looney Toons” Jindal was able to put his newfound hair, long fingernails, and is smoking ALONE! Please…leave Bobby Jindal and “My Little Pony,” not a TV series faith to use. While receiving his two packs of Virginia Slims. Even alone right now, I mean it. If any of that dealt with complex pre-teen and masters at Oxford, Jindal witnessed though she’s in the middle of suburbia you have a problem with him you adult situations. one of his friends being possessed in January, she’s wearing a short, red deal with me. I mean, can a four-year-old by a demon. In a disturbing cocktail dress. I thought Bobby would (Note: If you didn’t understand this, go really be prepared for the horror that autobiographical article in the “New love Ethics forever. But instead, he to YouTube and watch Chris Crocker’s was Marsha’s nose after she got hit in Oxford Review,” Jindal recounts the decided to pick up Vice. ‘Britney’ video. Enjoy.) the face with the football? Can a four- night his friend “Susan” was possessed Bobby just couldn’t be happy Image taken from www.nolevee.com.
  • 11. February 1, 2008 11 Volume 84, Issue 16 Shreveport is the third-best place in the United States to film independent movies, according to MovieMaker Magazine. The winter issue, which hit newsstands this week, features the A E eighth annual list of best places to make indie flicks in the U.S., and Recording industry to sue more Shreveport is placed higher than the likes of New York City, Philadelphia, college students for music theft Charles Eddy Seattle, Baltimore, and Memphis. Staff Writer Surprise, surprise, but the RIAA is suing again. It issued a press release In last year’s issue, Shreveport was on January 10 saying that its College Deterrence Program will continue through 2008. The release began with, “The Recording Industry Association #6 on the list. Alexandyr Kent of The of America (RIAA), on behalf of the major record companies . . . sent a new wave of 407 pre-litigation settlement letters to 18 universities nationwide as Shreveport Times noted in his article part of an ongoing campaign against online music theft.” that the city of Los Angeles is absent. Students at these 18 schools, including Stanford, William and Mary, and Duke, will be expected to settle or go to court. As of yet, there have been no victories in court against the RIAA. When asked in an interview with CNET columnist Don Reisinger The top 10: why the RIAA was going after college students, a spokesperson for the organization, Cara Duckworth, said that, “College students have reached a stage in life when their music habits are crystallized and their appreciation 1. Austin, Texas for intellectual property has not yet reached its full development.” Needless to say, the suits have caused a frenzy in online blogs and 2. Albuquerque, New Mexico columns, with Reisinger even saying that, “The MPAA and the RIAA are two organizations that should be looked upon with the greatest amount of 3. Shreveport, Louisiana distaste and downright condemnation. Trust me, they’re really that bad.” Whatever feelings a person has for the RIAA, however, the organization 4. New York City, New York doesn’t seem to be going away. Even though EMI (a major record company) 5. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania has threatened to pull out financial support for the organization, the RIAA’s civil lawsuits have not even slowed down. 6. Wilmington, North Carolina As if it weren’t enough, Centenary students in dorms are at risk for the same type of litigation. Apogee, the college’s ISP, states on its website that, 7. Seattle, Washington “At Apogee, we take copyright protection very seriously . . . If you share copyrighted material without permission, you are breaking the law and could 8. Portland, Oregon be subject to . . . criminal sanctions.” It’s discomforting, to say the least. 9. Baltimore, Maryland 10. Memphis, Tennessee
  • 12. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 2.7 million dollar Super Bowl Movie review: “The Great ad will be 60 seconds of silence Debaters” is the best film made in here, too. With the the Shreveport area buzz of the crown Todd Johnson One thing I noticed about this and the roar of the movie is the fact that there is nothing A E Editor television, heads will that is recognizably Louisiana to be automatically turn found in this film. The settings in There have been many movies when there is suddenly this film are completely believable made around the Shreveport area in silence coming from and unrecognizable, which definitely the past couple of years. Some of them the flat-screen. helped sell the illusion that we are have been good (“The Guardian”), Confused and slightly watching a Depression-era movie others not so good (“Premonition” inebriated folks will made around our area of the state. and “Blonde Ambition”). I am glad be looking for the Plus, it is commendable to have that there was another good movie remote control’s mute a Jim Crow film that does not make made around our area. “The Great button. It’s a pretty every white character seem horrible. Debaters” is, in my opinion, the best brilliant move by the After all, the other debate teams movie made in Shreveport since Pepsi company- too come across very well, as well as the we became the movie mecca of the bad the commercial students from the white colleges. south. doesn’t refer to a However, I do have some Set in 1935, at the height of The Kat Michiels specific product, minor quibbles with the film. One Great Depression and Jim Crow laws, Lover of Tom Brady meaning that by Tuesday, people will is the constant rotation of the team the movie is about the Wiley College have trouble remembering the point throughout the film. It seems like debate team. Comprised of four FOX is reluctant to share too of the ad. every member of the team quits at members, James (Denzel Whitaker), much information about the Super Commercial lovers can also look least once at some point during the Samantha (Jurnee Smollet), Henry Bowl ads this year, which have netted forward to seeing Richard Simmons film. Plus, the debates and messages (Nate Parker), and Hamilton about 2.7 million dollars for each in his ‘80s getup in what will be the are beat into the audience’s head (Jermaine Williams), this team from spot, varying depending on the time first commercial ever for Bridgestone throughout the film. The movie is a small, all-black college in Texas slot and length of the commercial. tires. “Squeeze those buns! You are preachy. overcomes many different obstacles The Super Bowl is planned to be worth it, ladies!” However, it is still very well- both internal and external to become the most-watched show on television Fans of “The Godfather” movie acted and compelling. The characters one of the best debate teams in the this week, with the writer’s strike still will enjoy a commercial’s spoof of the are likeable and the debates are nation. They also become the first going strong and with the football “horse head” scene, done by Audi. entertaining. I never found myself black college to debate against white fans still going crazy. Even people Now, I’m not quite sure what Vito checking my watch or wondering schools (not to mention win). who aren’t so crazy about football can Corleone’s profession has to do with a when the movie was going to end. The first thing I noticed about sit down with the beverage of their 100,000 dollar car, but I suppose that’s This movie is by far the best the film was the performances. Every choice and some bean dip and enjoy why I’m not the witty commercial made in the Shreveport area and actor brings their A-game. Of course, the Super Bowl commercials, arguably writer (good thing they’re not on worth a look. this is to be expected when the top the most enjoyed commercials of the strike). two members of the cast are Denzel year. We’ll also see the same old Washington as the debate team’s All reports show that Fox is not Budweiser commercial, complete coach and Forest Whitaker as allowing any political commercials to with Clydesdales and the Dalmatian. the father of one of the debaters. be aired during the Super Bowl, which In addition, there are six other Bud However, they are really only means that every sold-out spot will Light ads, some probably a little over- supporting characters in the be rich with consumer-y goodness. the-top, including one where a guy story. Other than the typical has X-ray vision allowing him to see The actors playing the Budweiser commercials, the most through women’s clothes. debate team make their characters hyped-up commercial so far is a Pepsi Finally, you may be privy to identifiable. You can feel their ad, already going around YouTube, about 76 commercials promoting anxiety before the debates and that is silent for an entire minute. American Idol, which is a reality their elation after each victory. The ad depicts two deaf friends on television show where contestants They are the reason why the their way to a party at someone’s compete in a singing competition. movie is as entertaining as it is. house. However, neither of them Apparently, it’s a huge deal in Britain. The debates in this movie have the address. However, no one Those of you who are more cultured are compelling, even if they seem talks (save for sign language and may have heard of it. a little too relevant for today’s subtitles) in the entire commercial. Tune in to see the Patriots climate. Maybe that is to be Hearing impaired and deaf people turn the Giants into little boys, the expected when Oprah is one of are celebrating the commercial as commercials, and a Super Bowl the producers of the film, but I a very great accomplishment in the halftime show starring Tom Petty, digress. Regardless, the debates community. Mary J. Blige, and Maroon 5 this are spirited and are as exciting as PepsiCo has a pretty good idea Sunday on FOX. any action scene that I have seen.
  • 13. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 KSCL Battle of the Bands WHEN: 7:30 PM Saturday, February 9, 2008 WHERE:Shreveport's Riverview Theatre (formerly Civic Theatre), 600 Clyde Fant Parkway ADMISSION: $10, $20, $30 $36 - $5 for The Shell's main event kicks off in students one month. The event is the 5th Annual TICKETS: Call the Symphony box Battle of the Bands brought to you by KSCL office at (318) 227-TUNE (8863) 91.3 FM and the Centenary Homecoming between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday Committee. The date is Saturday, March 29th through Friday or visit the office on the at 1pm. fourth floor of the Strand Theatre, 619 Louisiana Avenue. The box office KSCL is seeking eight performers (groups or opens at 12:00 noon on the concert day at the Riverview Theatre. solo acts) from any genre of music. These artists will compete for first, second, and PARKING: Limited valet parking is available at $10. A free shuttle will depart one time from Uptown third place prizes ($300, 150, 50 Shopping Center at 6:15 p.m. A second free shuttle will depart from respectively). Submissions can be digital the AmSouth Bank parking garage located on the corner of Milam tracks (send to ksclbotb@gmail.com) or and Market Streets at 5:30 p.m. Both shuttles will continue to make physical CDs (via the post office in the SUB). pickups at the AmSouth garage every 10 minutes until concert time. The last day to turn in submissions is MENUS: Patrons may enjoy an elegant pre-concert dinner at The Thursday, March 20th. Cambridge Club of Shreveport or Columbia Caf? MUSIC benefiting the Shreveport Symphony Orchestra. A pre-fixed price of $50 per This will be a big event for Centenary, KSCL, person includes a salad, choice of entree, dessert, coffee or tea, and one glass of wine. Reservations must be made by noon on Highland, and Shreveport so we're looking Friday, February 8 by calling 318-227-TUNE (8863). Diners do not for help. If anyone is interested in have to be a member of the Cambridge Club to participate. volunteering some time, but not competing, please contact ksclbotb@gmail.com. Condom shortage in Hollywood leads to baby boom (partly true) Todd Johnson now is that there has been a condom in Los Angeles, specifically in damage upon it. Forget Africa, we A E Editor shortage in the City of Angels. Hollywood. Can you give us a cause as have kids at home who need help. Naturally, I was intrigued to why you cannot provide celebrities Congo: Is there any fear that this In the past year, there have as to why this was occurring. So I condoms? baby boom will cause women around been a large number of celebrities decided to schedule an interview Rotch: Well, the problem is with the country to think that having who have become pregnant. It seems with the CEO of the Trojan Condom our main machine in our Los Angeles babies is the “in thing” to do? like there have been more celebrities Company, Mike Rotch. branch. Rotch: Yeah. If people want to announcing their pregnancies or Conglomerate: Hello Mr. Rotch. Congo: What happened? make babies, then I’ll be out of the being under the suspicion of being How are you today? Rotch: It broke. job. pregnant lately. After all, Jessica Alba, Rotch: I am good. I just had to Congo: Excuse me? Congo: When can we expect the Jamie Lynn Spears, Nicole Kidman, pay a visit to the testers. They are Rotch: It split down the equipment to be up and running? Nicole Richie, and Christiana suffering from performance anxiety middle and we had stuff spraying Rotch: Hopefully soon. Aguilera are pregnant or recently had right now. everywhere. Congo: Well, I hope that you children. But why is that? Congo: Really? Why is that? Congo: …okay. Has the situation get your equipment working right on Well, as a fearless reporter and Rotch: We can’t identify the been corrected? behalf of men everywhere. AE editor for your Conglomerate, I reason. However, we think we may Rotch: Afraid not. We are still Rotch: Thank you. decided to get to the bottom of the have to submit some orders for Viagra going to have to suffer through this There you have it, folks. It turns baby boom in Hollywood. or Enzyte or something. I wish we surplus of babies for the time being. out that we have a broken condom After some digging and deep could have someone like Bob on our Let’s just hope that we can replace machine that is causing celebrities to cover reporting (not so deep that I staff. He is always so damn happy, for our dysfunctional equipment before have crazy amounts of babies. And had sex with Britney Spears), I learned obvious reasons. Britney Spears gets pregnant again. to think, I thought that celebrities the truth about this outbreak of Congo: Anyway, I am calling Then again, maybe another celebrity had finally found Power Thirst. 400 babies. The reason there are so many today about information regarding can adopt the child before she has babies!!!!!! babies being born in Hollywood right the recent shortage of your product an opportunity to inflict too much (YouTube it.)
  • 14. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 CD preview: London’s Hot Chip magic is back again Film industry local news Jon Schleuss The following information is courtesy of (225) 342-FILM, the official hotline of the KSCL Review Louisiana Office of Entertainment Industry Development. Just when you thought that you were stuck with The Sony Studios Pictures feature film “Year One” starring Jack Black and Michael Cera The Warning (06’s release), you get a new splash of (from “Superbad” and “Juno”) is in production in Shreveport with shooting scheduled electro dance beats. through the end of March. Inquiries are currently being accepted by fax at (318) 673-9705. Release Date: Tuesday, Feb. 5 For casting or more information, please call (267) 295-7838. Record Comp: DFA/Astralwerks Store: iTunes, Amazon The Weinstein Company feature film “Soul Men” starring Bernie Mac and Samuel L. If you are a virgin to Hot Chip, then “Made in the Jackson is in production in Shreveport with shooting scheduled through the end of March. Dark” is a fine place to get started, but you’ll eventually Inquiries are being accepted by fax at (318) 429-7598. need to go back and check out the older tapes. The new album opens with a slow electronic hum The Comedy Central television pilot “Speed Freaks” is in production in Shreveport and growing into a beat that eventually explodes at 1’7”. The will shoot for one week beginning Jan. 28. Inquiries are currently being accepted by fax at song then morphs into a fast beat that’s, well, “funky (318) 676-0718. cheap”. The next song, “Shake a Fist,” has some interesting secrets up its sleeve. Right around 1’53” there’s a break for The Weinstein Company feature film “The Untitled Ice Cube Movie” (previously “Sounds of the Studio” then straight back to a revamping “Comeback”) starring Ice Cube is in production in Shreveport with shooting scheduled of the original song. I’ll leave “Sounds of the Studio” up through Feb. 14. Inquiries can be faxed to (318) 698-1301. For casting information, please for you to figure out. Oh yeah, did I mention wild trance visit http://www.bamcastingla.com/. splashes and yelling? Check and double check. “Ready for the Floor” is adorable. It’s the track to The Millennium feature film “Beyond a Reasonable Doubt” starring Michael Douglas give to your, erm, BFF. Then, down to number 5, “We’re and Amber Tamblyn is in pre-production in Shreveport with shooting scheduled Looking for a Lot of Love.” It captures an intimate for March 3 through April 14. Resumes and inquiries are being accepted by e-mail at moment between two people that turns rather sour: bardoubt@gmail.com. For casting information, please visit http://www.gloriosocasting. “Underneath a burning tree, com/. That is where she brought me, That is where she bound me, The Weinstein Company feature film “The Midnight Man” is in pre-production in Nobody found me.” Shreveport and will shoot 20 days beginning February 11. Resumes and inquiries are being #7, “Made in the Dark,” gives us another side of the accepted by fax at (318) 603-4562. pro-dance Hot Chip. This track is quite melancholy and lonely, but there’s still that Hot Chip magic. And that The feature film “Tekken” is in pre-production in Shreveport with shooting scheduled to Hot Chip magic makes it worth buying an all-around begin Feb. 6 (corrected) for six weeks. Resumes and inquiries are currently be accepted great record. One of the best for 2008, wait and see. I’ll by fax at (318) 603-4564. Tekken is looking for extras of Japanese ancestry. For more call it now. #1 in CMJ in three weeks. information, please visit http://www.gloriosocasting.com/. Made in the Dark can be found on the internet; creds to stereogum.com, an indie mp3 download site. The independent feature film “The Open Road” is in pre-production in Baton Rouge. iTunes has the album out for pre-order now with an Details are coming soon. exclusive version of “Bubbles They Bounce” and “My Brother is Watching Me” going only with the pre-order. The Universal Pictures feature film “Cirque du Freak” is in pre-production in New Orleans with shooting scheduled from February 19 through June 1. Resumes and inquiries are being accepted by fax at (504) 571-2023. The Screen Gems feature film “Mardi Gras” is in pre-production in New Orleans with shooting scheduled for March and April. Resumes are currently being accepted by e-mail at mardigrasprod@yahoo.com. The WWE feature film “Twelve Rounds” is in pre-production in New Orleans and will shoot Feb. 25 through May 12. Resumes are being accepted by e-mail at torossi@earthlink. net. The New Line Cinema feature film “Final Destination 4” is in pre-production in New Orleans and will shoot March 3 through May 29. Resumes and inquiries are currently being accepted by fax at (504) 734-3403. The Films in Motion feature film “The Abduction of Jesse Bookman” is in production in Baton Rouge through February 1. For more information, please e-mail Jason@ filmsinmotion.com. And for more information about the film and television industry in Louisiana, please visit http://www.lafilm.org/.
  • 15. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 Sports NBA All-Stars roll into New Orleans Versha Sharma votes above all players; he has made Editor-in-Chief ten previous appearances in All-Star games and was voted Most Valuable The glitz, glam, and glory of the Player (MVP) in 2003. LeBron James NBA will be coming to New Orleans came in second and will be making this month in the form of the annual his fourth All-Star appearance, while All-Star game. third place Dwight Howard will be The All-Star players and 2,500 making his second appearance. more “NBA Family” members will Kobe Bryant unsurprisingly start the competition with a massive received the most votes in the service project on Friday, February 15 Western Conference and is making at ten different sites in the Crescent his tenth appearance (Bryant was the City. youngest All-Star in the Association’s Through the All-Star Balloting history in 1998). Bryant was also program, fans around the world were named MVP at last year’s game, but able to vote online, via phone, and in in terms of votes, Denver Nuggets person for their favorite players to forward Carmelo Anthony was not participate in this elite event. The far behind – and he will be making voting lasted from November 14 to his first trip to an All-Star game. January 20. The game will be played in New Orleans on February 17 and Other players of note in this competition are Jason Kidd with his Schedule of Events broadcast live on TNT and ESPN ninth appearance, Yao Ming, voted as Friday, February 15 Radio. a starter for his sixth consecutive year, NBA Cares Day of Service According to those votes, the Tim Duncan, voted into every All- cream of the nation’s basketball crop Star team since he began playing in T-Mobile Rookie Challenge is as follows: the NBA in 1997, and Allen Iverson, and Youth Jam Eastern Conference nine-time player and two-time MVP. NBA All-Star Celebrity Game Kevin Garnett (Boston Celtics) As for the reserves, the coaches LeBron James (Cleveland (East and West) will select seven Cavaliers) players within their conferences, as Saturday, February 16 Dwight Howard (Orlando long as the players are not on their Sprite Slam Dunk Magic) NBA teams. Boston Celtics head Jason Kidd (New Jersey Nets) coach Doc Rivers will be coaching PlayStation Skills Challenge Dwyane Wade (Miami Heat) the East; this honor was handed to Foot Locker Three-Point Shootout Western Conference him and his coaching staff because of Haier Shooting Stars Carmelo Anthony (Denver the Celtics’ current record of the best Nuggets) winning percentage in the Eastern D-League All-Star Game Tim Duncan (San Antonio Conference. As of press time, the Spurs) West’s coach is not yet selected. Sunday, February 17 Yao Ming (Houston Rockets) For more information, visit Kobe Bryant (L.A. Lakers) www.nba.com/allstar2008. 2008 NBA All-Star Game Allen Iverson (Denver Nuggets) East vs. West Kevin Garnett received the most
  • 16. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 Tennis team faces new season on new courts Versha Sharma Nacogdoches, Texas, this weekend teammates – junior Kate Buchanan, The men are also starting Editor-in-Chief for their first matches of the season senior Lindsay Ezell, senior Jennifer with a healthy dose of confidence. – and they’re pumped. Majchrowicz, junior Courtney “We have a pretty solid team this On Tuesday, February 5, most “We are really excited about Myers, and junior Kayleigh Sullivan year,” said Lozano, who is joined by Centenary students will undoubtedly this coming season,” said Lozano. – in taking on Stephen F. Austin at sophomore Jacob Dawson, junior be enjoying Mardi Gras the traditional “We have a pretty solid team this year 6:00 p.m. in Nacogdoches tonight. Seva Kostelanetz, sophomore Mark Louisiana way or nursing sore heads and everything seems to be running Head coach Larry Jacobs has Rodgman, senior Alejandro Ahuja, from early celebrations over the on the right track.” followed a tradition of hard practices and freshman Oscar Medellin in weekend. For the hard-working The men’s team will play the and pure optimism for the beginning representing Centenary in tennis. tennis team, however, hangovers are University of Texas-Pan American of any tennis season. What is notable The College is also granting the definitely not in the picture: the men (UTPA) tomorrow, February 2, at about tennis practice on any given day, team new courts this year, which will will travel down to Baton Rouge for 10:00 a.m. in Nacogdoches. The however, is the fun that the players be a significant boost to practice and a match at 6:00 p.m. on Fat Tuesday, women will be playing their UTPA seem to have while working and the quality of competitive play. and they’re focused. counterparts at the same time, but level of camaraderie that they enjoy. “We are also getting ready for “We are training every day and have to gear up even earlier for a That feeling certainly translates even conference matches,” said Lozano. getting ready to play a couple of good match today. to first-year players like Ashley. “It’s “We have a pretty good chance to get schools like LSU next week,” said “I’m really looking forward to going to be a lot of fun,” she said, in a few wins this year.” sophomore Gerardo Lozano. the season and I think we are going reference to the tournament this Centenary’s men’s and women’s to do pretty well,” said freshman Friday and Saturday and the season’s tennis teams will also travel to Gretchen Ashley. Ashley will join her upcoming matches. Prediction of this week’s big game Film Screenings Michael Jarboe have tightened up a bit as they have Sports Editor averaged giving up 15.5 points per game in their two playoff games. Most Giants fans did not After going 16-0 during believe that their early Super Bowl the regular season, the Patriots really sponsored by Art/English 290 course: predictions on the New York Giants’ odds to win it all would still be alive know how to win! During the 2007 off-season the Patriots picked up Holocaust and Genocide in late January. The New York Giants some key players, including Randy need to win on the road to be able to Moss. The one-two combination of Students in the Art/Engl 290 course on the Holocaust will be introducing and screening films in Turner 105 on stake claim to the NFC Championship Tom Brady and Randy Moss is like and get a trip to Arizona for Super none other. If any kind of heat stirs Bowl XLII. With an unbelievable between the two of them Sunday Sunday nights at 6:30 pm. You are invited to join them! eight wins in a row on the road this season, they seem to not be getting a night there will be no stopping the scoring machine. Recent addition The film schedule follows: whole lot of respect this week. In fact, Corey Dillon has been running like they are listed as the longest shot of any of the teams left in the playoffs a madman down the field. Look for him to be huge this Sunday. 2/10: The Diary of Anne Frank to actually win the Super Bowl. Sure, In closing, don’t miss this 2/17: Schindler's List they have to travel to Green Bay this week to play in an environment that game on Sunday. If not for the competition and seeing the Patriots 2/24: Into the Arms of Strangers is a tough place to win, but haven’t possibly complete the perfect season, 3/2: The Boys from Brazil they done that all this season? They came into Dallas and persevered eat some buffalo wings and watch some funny commercials. I hope all 3/9: Train of Life (in French) through the so-called #1 team in the of you have a wonderful Mardi Gras 3/30: Conspiracy NFC (I still cry at night thinking of that Sunday). break and enjoy the game! Michael Jarboe’s Prediction: 4/6: Mr. Death The other issue to consider New England Patriots 31 over the 4/13: The Pawnbroker is that in order for New York to win the Super Bowl, they will have to New York Giants 13 MVP: Corey Dillon - New 4/20: Paper Clips beat teams that ranked first, fourth, England Patriots 4/27: Hotel Rwanda and fifth during the regular season Tom Brady’s ankle disintegrates in scoring. The Giants did finish the during the second quarter regular season ranked a rather low Thanks to predictem.com for 17th in scoring defense, yielding the information and stats. 21.9 points per game, but seem to
  • 17. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 The Conglomerate presents: The life of a Centenary athlete Allison McClain runner ending up at second base. Personally, I find it seemingly difficult Staff Writer In this situation, we have over ten to fight the stress of making good different plays that we prepare for or grades and keeping up with reading Battling the weather has been guard against. That is just a simple way knowing it is just going to become the biggest obstacle for us this past of explaining the amount of thinking much more hectic in a week. As a week. From rainy days to mild wintry that goes into every aspect of the team, we are continuing to push mix, we have had to work around game. With that in mind, last week through these last few weeks before the forces of Mother Nature. Our we spent a day in the Fitness Center the start of our official 2008 season. team has continued to work hard and focusing just on defensive strategy In response to the Summit improve on little things that make us plays as the rain cane pouring down League pre-season standings for the team we aim to be. If you have onto our field. softball, I must say they have it all ever been to a Centenary softball Also, this past week or so, our wrong. We return 14 players from game, you might be impressed by team has been concentrating on live last season, bringing on two fantastic how much knowledge and mental at-bats. It is always nice to have a little newcomers. Our pitchers are back training goes into every pitch, hit, competition amongst the team every and the offensive force is getting throw, and catch made between the once in a while. Two days were devoted better and better each day. Western white-chalked lines. If not, you might to intra-squad scrimmages and once Illinois, Southern Utah, and North want to consider a game or two. again getting back into the game-like Dakota State all were placed above tomorrow afternoon against BPCC at As a team, we take great pride mentality was much needed. I have to us, but the interesting thing about their home field since our dugouts are in the ability to have certain plays admit, though, hitting off our pitchers college sports is the outcome really still being remodeled. Play will begin geared towards certain situations can be challenging as they might feel can never be predicted that early. at 12 p.m. and we will play a fifteen- and almost always we come out pitching to their hitters is a task at As a team, we look to prove the inning game. Come out and cheer us successful in some aspect of the play. hand. But in the end, it hopefully will Summit League wrong and bring on as we prepare to open the season Take runners at first base and third make us both much better. home a conference championship for up with a few victories. base and defensively we are guarding Aside from the softball field, Centenary College. “I come to play everyday.” – against the runner scoring or the trail school is still a work in progress. Once again….we open play David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox Mudbugs crush Laredo in close game Karyn Gehrls Staff Writer The second period was left one-to- two, despite several power plays for Centenary Film Society Laredo. The Bucks tied up the game presents... This past Saturday, the Mudbugs in the third period, but with 3:09 left, broke a franchise record by winning Daniel Pegoraro scored the winning quot;10 Questions for the Dalai Lamaquot; their sixteenth home game in a row point just in time to make this the when they took on the Laredo Bucks sixteenth straight home game win for Feb 12th and 14th in a game that could be called close, the Bugs. Through the life of this monumental man, greater ques- but somewhat exciting. The Bugs and On Sunday, the Bugs took on tions of spirituality in the wake of oppression are faced. Director the Bucks were aggressive, but not Rio Grande Valley and won their Rick Ray has combined his observations of the Far East based on towards each other. Only once did a tenth straight shutout game of the extensive travel with the wisdom of the Dalai Lama to create a player from each team get into a fight, season, tying the CHL record for documentary vastly deeper than a mere biopic. only classified as “roughing,” with a shutout games won and making for Instead, the film offers a rare glimpse at the humorous, two-minute minor penalty. It seemed the Bugs’ seventeenth straight game scientifically curious, and endlessly kind man behind the figure- the night was going to be long and win of the season. Only a pair of goals head. It is an interesting portrait of the warm reality of His drawn out. The last exciting game in the second period was needed by Holiness juxtaposed against some stirring contemporary philo- between the Bugs and the Bucks took the Bugs to defeat the Killer Bees. sophical questions. place about two or three years ago for The first period was very entertaining quot;There have been several documentaries about the Dalai the CHL Championship game with even without scores on either end. Lama, but few have done a better job of packaging the Tibetan a dispute that would become called The Killer Bees had some amazing religious leader's circumstances, both historical and current, along a point-no-point double overtime chances to score, but did not take with his philosophies, than Rick Ray's '10 Questions for the Dalai game. them too seriously. The Mudbugs Lama.'quot; Walter Addiego, San Francisco Chronicle Saturday night’s game was a played some awesome defense in close match with a no-score first the third period, leading to the Killer All screenings are Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7 pm period and, eventually, the Bugs Bees’ shut-out. The next Mudbugs in room 304 in Jackson Hall. winning by just two-to-one. In the home game is on Mardi Gras day at Admission is free, and movies are open to the public. second period, the Bugs brought 7:05 p.m. at the CenturyTel Center. For more information, please contact Leo Kacenjar: their A-game, rousing up the crowd The rest of the Bugs’ home game lkacenja@centenary.edu with their first point of the game, and away schedule and play-by-plays or call the English department office: 869-5254 made by an around-the-left-side of the games can be found on their or visit our website http://www.centenary.edu/life/film shot by Elias Godoy with assists website, mudbugshockey.com. from Kevin Cooper and Jason Basile.
  • 18. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 Crossword Puzzle: Horoscopes Beatle-mania Aquarius (1/21-2/19) Clothes do not necessarily make the woman/ man. No, I believe it’s what occurs when there are no clothes involved that defines you. Pisces (2/20-3/20) Memorize the states alphabetically. It’s a much better way to spend your time. Aries (3/21-4/20) I suggest you be a little bit more like Grace Kelly, she may have looked a little sad but she was very graceful and not nearly as dirty as you are, I think. Taurus (4/21-5/21) I will always make fun of you for continuing to be such an avid *NSYNC fan, I’m sorry. Gemini (5/22-6/21) When you go to the happiest place on earth please take into consideration that you are in a public place with crazy people pretending to be normal, happy, and a cohesive family unit. Beware. Cancer (6/22-7/23) Can you smell the sweat? No? Really? Good, it’s gross. Ick! Leo (7/24-8/23) Love only gets you down. Virgo (8/24 –9/23) You should especially pay close attention to the “Centenary Secrets,” you never know one of them might be about you. ACROSS DOWN 3. Let me take you down, cos I’m going to ______ 1. Till we found the sea of green and we lived Libra (9/24-10/22) You have a lot of pent up __ Fields. beneath the ______ anger that I am sure is affecting your heart. I 4. Dear ______ 2. Wearing the face that she keeps in a ____ by suggest letting it all out at very inappropriate 6. Boy, you’re going to carry that ______ the door moments. For example, expel all of your 12. And _____ girls make me sing and shout. 5. You tell me that it’s ______ negative energy in the middle of the cafeteria 13. There beneath the blue _______ skies 7. _____! by ripping off your shirt and screaming 14. Mother _______ jump the gun 8. With tangerine trees and _______ skies obscenities at the top of your lungs. Feel 15. A crowd of people turned away but I just had 9. Little _____ it seems like years since you’ve better. to look, having read the _____. been here 16. _____ fly into the light of the dark black night. 10. Where rocking horse people eat _______ Scorpio (10/23-11/22) I am renaming you 19. Rocky had come equipped with a _____ pies. Billy Brown. 21. Everyone has got something to hide except me 11. While my ______ gently weeps and my _____ 14. Helter _______. Sagittarius (11/23-12/21) Don’t hate, 23. Yellow matter _____ dripping from a dead 17. Well you may be a lover but you ain’t no instigate! I have no idea what that means. dog’s eye _____ 24. One and one and one is ______ 18. Jojo left his home in ______, Arizona Capricorn (12/22 –1/20) Dear Capricorn, I 25. I’m in love but I’m ______ 20. Speaking words of ______, let it be. am very sorry for neglecting you so. Anyway, 26. There’s a ______ hanging over me. 21. Desmond says to _____, girl I like your face. fields of daisies, angelic choirs, doves flying 27. Hey ______ don’t let me down 22. In his octopus’s garden in the ______ round your head..... it’s all good. 28. Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a _____
  • 19. February 1, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 16 Centenary Secrets Centenary area concert wire Feb. 1, Friday Feb. 2, Saturday Cross Canadian Ragweed Christian Simeon Outlaw 11 PM Nation(Acoustic, Reggae) Mardi Gras Texas Style! 10 PM @ The Warehouse Dallas, TX Shreveport, LA (Downtown, $34 and up 630 Commerce Street) FREE Feb. 1, Friday Pat Green Feb. 2, Saturday Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 Reba McEntire The Village Kelly Clarkson Little Rock, AR 7:30 PM @ CenturyTel Center $23 in advance, $26 at the door Bossier City, LA Feb. 2, Saturday $30-$55 Terri Hendrix w/ Lloyd Maines 7 PM@ Fairfield Studios Feb. 2, Saturday 1510 Fairfield Ave., Shreveport, LA Rick Springfield (sings “Jessie’s Girl”) Feb. 2, Saturday 10:30 PM @ Billy Bob’s Texas Christian Simeon Outlaw Nation Ft. Worth, TX (Acoustic, Reggae) $15 GA, $32 reserved 9 PM @ Noble Savage Tavern In order to participate take a postcard and tell your secret anonymously. Send the card to campus box #786 or slip it under the Conglomerate Office door on the third Shreveport, LA (417 Texas Street) floor of the SUB. A Day with Christ by Chris Christ
  • 20. February 1, 2008 0 Volume 84, Issue 16 Inept criminals: Teen attempts attack on Hannah Montana (in Louisiana) Kari Patterson teller and then attempted to give the planned to hijack. Maybe he wanted which already exist rather than Staff Writer money back. In addition to changing to fly around for a few days first, making new ones up. Really, though, his mind mid-crime, the elderly because hey, if you’re going to hijack how would you use a billion dollar Oh, hapless criminals, how we man also told witnesses to call the an airplane and crash it into a stadium bill, anyways? Even if you were trying do love them. Everyone enjoys stories police, and he tried to give the teller full of people, you might as well. to buy, say, your own island, it’s highly of burglars falling over furniture and his gun. Unfortunately, his attack of If you’re going to forge money, doubtful that the real estate agent suing their would-be victims, hapless conscience came a bit too late, and you really shouldn’t get greedy, would be carrying around change for convenience store robbers who use the robber is being charged with a because it invariably makes you do a billion. a credit card to purchase something felony. something incredibly stupid… such Congratulations to the select prior to holding up the store, or The combination of crazed fan as printing a billion or a trillion dollar few inept, hapless, and/or stupid someone attempting to flee from the and stupid criminal led to another bill, neither of which actually exists. criminals who were featured this police on a golf cart. This week we near airplane hijacking last week, Nevertheless, that’s exactly what one week. Of course, there are many salute you, Mr. Inept Criminal. You though the culprit this time wasn’t 45-year-old man was arrested for in more--too many to even begin to could be a menace to society, but from a terrorist organization; instead, March 2006: trying to forge billion think about. But before you head off you’re really too much of an idiot to he was a 16-year-old from California dollar bills. He had previously been to plan your own jewel heist, commit be anything more than a menace to bent on crashing the hijacked plane smuggling currency illegally into arson, or rob a bank, please remember yourself. Thank you for making our into a Hannah Montana concert in the United States, but bringing in these helpful hints. First, never leave law enforcement’s job just a little bit Louisiana. The teen was apprehended hundreds of thousands of dollars just your driver’s license at the crime easier. in a California airport with a backpack wasn’t enough, so he decided that scene. Second, don’t try to pickpocket Last November, a 72-year-old full of handcuffs, duct tape, and rope. printing about 250 of these billion a professional magician. (That’s just man robbed a bank in Lynchburg, In preparation, the teen built a model dollar notes was a more lucrative common sense.) And finally, for the Virginia, and then tried to return airplane cockpit in his bedroom, but prospect. It’s too bad he didn’t love of God, bragging about your the money to the bank. According he apparently didn’t bother to double understand the concept of forgery, crime on Facebook or your MySpace to witness statements, the armed check the date of the concert, which which tends to be more centered page is really, really stupid. robber demanded money from a was three days after the flight he on making credible copies of things Attention We regret to inform all of our readers that in May of 2007 Nick Rougely graduated from Centenary. e former Conglomerate satirist has moved on to greener pastures. On this note, we regrettably cannot “bring back Nick” despite how often and passionately you, the readers, beg us to do so. e Conglomerate staff appreciates that you enjoyed Nick’s witty articles, and surely so does he. Just to make it absolutely clear, Nick Rougely graduated, he is not coming back, get over it. Sudoku “Where I’m from, we believe all sorts of things that aren’t true. We call it ‘history.’ A man’s called a traitor or liberator, a rich man’s a thief or philanthropist; is one a crusader or ruthless invader? It’s all in which label is able to persist.” - The Wizard (of Oz) in the musical “Wicked”

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