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    Issue 15 Jan 25 Issue 15 Jan 25 Presentation Transcript

    • The Conglomerate January 25, 2008 Centenary College of Louisiana’s Weekly Independent Press Volume 84, Issue 15 Comedian Craig Robinson from “The Office” to entertain students Versha Sharma Editor-in-Chief Students who stopped INSIDE by the Whited Room on Wednesday were privy to Centenary just a taste of what can be celebrates Martin expected this Saturday when Luther King, Jr. comedian and actor Craig Day, read more on Robinson visits Centenary. Student organization page 4 Fighting Squirrels Productions provided the Presidential golden combination of candidate Ron Paul Cane’s chicken and episodes of “The Office” to encourage visits Shreveport, students to attend this page 6. Saturday’s event, featuring the actor who plays the Investigation of entertainingly droll Darryl Heath Ledger’s Philbin on the show. “A lot of students death continues on who came to [Wednesday’s page 11 event] told us that this was a good idea and that they loved ‘The Office,’” this year to give us more name said Naana Frezel, senior recognition,” said Senior and President of Fighting Frezel. “The more tickets Squirrels. we sell, the more money we Tickets and Marketing have for an awesome spring Co-Chair Mary Walter said, concert.” “We chose Craig because Robinson will take the we thought he appealed to stage at the Gold Dome at about popular comedic culture, and her older sister entry into a club 7 p.m. General admission a lot of people and we really like his “dinkin’ flicka” is one of Darryl’s in “Knocked Up.” Jenna Fischer, who tickets are available for $10 and humor.” imaginative phrases, which stars as the adorable Pam Beesly on can be purchased online at www. Indeed, it seems that Darryl has purportedly means “that’s life” and is a “The Office,” appears with Robinson CentenaryTickets.com, from any a transformative effect on viewers. “black man phrase,” in his own words. in “Walk Hard” as well. Fighting Squirrels member, in When asked what she loves about The phrase is even more amusing Fighting Squirrels Productions the Student Life Office, or at the the show and the character, senior when Steve Carell’s character Michael was formed just a few years ago door. The student members are Jennifer Majchrowicz spouted starts repeating it back to him. to provide entertainment for the aforementioned Frezel and amusing phrases that do not make He has played parts in various the Centenary and Shreveport Walter, Vice President Liz Tomsula, sense to any but fans of the show. other popular comedy shows communities. Their first event was Production Chair Mary Ham, Venue “Bippity boppity! ‘The Office’ is by on television, like “Curb Your with comedian and actor Hal Sparks, Chair Saul Castaneda, Hospitality far the funniest show on television,” Enthusiasm,” “Arrested Development,” and since then, they have organized an Chair Tracy Gilbeau, Fundraising she said. “Craig Robinson adds the and “The Bernie Mac Show.” Robinson annual spring concert with bands like Chair Cory Shadd, and Tickets and perfect amount of comedy with has also made a name for himself on Better Than Ezra and The Terms. The Marketing Co-Chair Jessica Pfanner. Darryl, from his fake phrases to the silver screen with starring roles in group still plans to do a concert this Slices of Pieworks pizza will also be Michael to his relationship with “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” spring and urges students to attend available at the event for just $1. Kelly. Plus, his roles in ‘Knocked Up’ and “Daddy’s Little Girls.” He fills a the Robinson event this Saturday to For more information, call 318- and other movies give it that extra fun role as an honest bouncer who help them raise more money. 869-5117 or email fsp@centenary. something! Dinkin’ flicka!” denies a pregnant Katherine Heigl “We wanted to do two events edu For those less knowledgeable
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 Letter from the editor: I hate headlines, but I love Heath Versha Sharma events in the world. All I can say is Bahamas), and I don’t even want to You may ridicule me or just wonder Editor-in-Chief that the news is the worst and most think what watching Ledger play the why I devote this entire space to penetrating when it’s so unexpected. Joker “The Dark Knight” is going to Ledger, but much of the Centenary I can’t explain why the death of Chatting online to a friend, I was be like. community was just as surprised a celebrity, one whom we’ve never sure she had to be making some sort The thing about Heath is that he as any other when they heard the met or properly known, can affect of cruel mistake when she suddenly was young (28), and looked up to, and news on Tuesday afternoon. Just at people in almost tangible ways. Some said, “Dude, is Heath Ledger dead?” I yes, even fantasized over – and he was Sunday’s Conglomerate meeting, we people will look to the supposed was transported to nearly seven years one of those few and rare celebrities were discussing our favorite movies superficiality of my generation, and ago, when I was chatting online to my that one would think would be a as preteens, which morphed into the shake their heads at the fact that cousin (incidentally, the boyfriend normal guy if you ever had the chance question of the week, and Ledger was we appear to be more shaken by of the girl I just quoted), and he to hang out with him. He had a few certainly a star. It may seem odd, but the death of Heath Ledger than the seemingly randomly said, “Is Aaliyah altercations with paparazzi, sure, but we grew up with “10 Things I Hate report that 5 million people have died dead?” he never ran rampant in the tabloids About You” and “A Knight’s Tale” – in the conflict in the Congo. But the It’s weird – we’re not supposed with stories of drugs and orgies and those kinds of movies are just as much two things aren’t really comparable; to be naïve enough to believe that more drugs and endangering his baby a part of our childhood/teenage lives both are tragic in drastically different these people will live forever. We’re like, say, Britney Spears is currently as the books we read repeatedly and ways, and the more cynical generally not supposed to be naïve enough so famous for doing. the songs that we memorized. give celebrities less credit than they to believe that everybody our age, In fact, Ledger reportedly loved Maybe it’s not even personal. deserve by virtue of that label (never unknown or huge celebrity, will live being a dad (he is survived by his two- Maybe it’s just the jolting realization mind the fact that the media directs to the ripe old age of 90 and have year-old daughter, whose mother is that there are some truths to certain our attention to “what’s important” 90 grandkids – but it happens. And fellow actress Michelle Williams) overly employed maxims and clichés, by reporting more on one story than even if these people are most famous – just another thing to add to his and that we have to face it – in this another). for just being part of popular culture, normal guy resume. Quite apart case, Ledger’s death represents the I know some people won’t it does realign your train of thought; from his own personality, he starred sad and tragic truth that life often is understand; it’s not that this matters listening to an Aaliyah song is never in many beloved movies (many times too short. more or is any more tragic than other quite the same (she was only 22 as the beloved protagonist), most of when she died in a plane crash in the which are adored by my generation. Question of the Week What is your favorite “Mean Girls.” “10 Things I Preteen movie? -Nicole Turner, Hate About You.” Junior - Marissa Teauseau Sophomore “Princess Diaries.” “Charlie’s Angels.” “Dumb & Dumber.” “Mighty Ducks 1,2, & 3.” -Jennifer Martin, -Suneera Kompelli, -Jason Kay, -Brandi Andrews, Senior Sophomore Junior Junior
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 Editorials Centenary Conglomerate Staff Ten ways to go green for the new year Versha Sharma Editor-in-Chief vsharma@centenary.edu Megan Ottesen, Senior clothing, folders, or other unwanted to-go boxes don’t disintegrate once Centenary Environmental items, see if someone else wants thrown away. them or donate to Goodwill. Visit Courtney Delaney Association member the T-Shirt Surgery Livejournal 9. Replace plastic and paper Layout Editor Many of us have already (community.livejournal.com/t_shirt_ bags from stores with a cloth cdelaney@centenary.edu broken our New Year’s resolutions to surgery) to discover fun ways to reuse shopping bag. Target currently sells exercise daily, drink less caffeine, and clothing! $1 “green” shopping bags that fold Rhagen Russell eat healthy. While those are admirable and zip up to fit in purses. Copy Editor personal goals, this can be the year to 6. Always try to carpool or look rrussell@centenary.edu think beyond ourselves and resolve to into biking. 10. To conserve water, help the planet as a whole. By “going turn off the tap while brushing teeth green” for the New Year, we can easily 7. Print double-sided in the and shaving. Stephanie Schreiber become more sustainable and reduce library. When buying a new printer, Features Editor our expenses both during and after In addition to those small, sschreib@centenary.edu college. The following suggestions sustainable measures that we can will help make this an eco-friendly incorporate into our daily lives, the Todd Johnson year: upcoming fundraiser called Chains A & E Editor for Change will allow students and faculty to positively impact trjohnso@centenary.edu 1. Turn off the lights before leaving rooms and hallways. Centenary’s campus. To purchase four solar panels for Centenary’s Michael Jarboe 2. Eliminate phantom loads library roof, the Centenary Sports Editor by unplugging cell phone chargers Environmental Association (CEA) mjarboe@centenary.edu and computers at night and during and the newly “green” Chemistry class. A “phantom load” refers to Club will collect money throughout Emily DeLatin energy wasted by electronics when the semester. A little pocket money from each student will go a long way Mindy McKoin they are plugged in but not used. An easy way to do this is to purchase a for an excellent sustainable addition Photographers single power strip in which to plug to Centenary! Any questions about electronics and then turn off when the fundraiser or how to be more Carly Carpenter you’re done with them. make sure it features double-sided environmentally friendly can be Business Manager printing. directed to CEA faculty advisor Dr. 3. Use Centenary’s recycling Jeanne Hamming at jhamming@ Kari Patterson program (mixed paper, aluminum 8. Take less food to-go from centenary.edu. the Caf. Those styrofoam cups and Circulation Manager cans, and newspaper), but do not recycle items with food on them! The Centenary Environmental Copyright © 2008 Association (CEA) also collects old Call for Assistant Copy Editor printer cartridges and cell phones. The Conglomerate is Recyclables can be placed in the large collection bin behind James or an independent student dropped off in resident hall lobbies publication, and does or the SUB for the CEA’s weekly Conglomerate is looking for an Assistant Copy Editor. This job not reflect the opinions collection. of Centenary College of requires massive and specific knowledge of the English Louisiana. 4. Avoid single use items. Instead, purchase reusable tableware language, rules of grammar, spelling, and newspaper copy Contact: and dishtowels, and use a Brita water filter or Nalgene bottle. Ridding your guidelines (rules for headlines, captions, etc.). The Copy Editor paper@centenary.edu life of paper plates, plastic cups, is in charge of editing all articles before they go in the Phone: 318-869-5269 paper towels, and plastic bottles will prevent waste and save money! Conglomerate, as well as all headlines and captions. If you're The Conglomerate interested, please contact us by email at paper@centenary.edu 2911 Centenary Blvd. 5. Before throwing away
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 Campus/Local News Centenary grants big bucks to new students Charles Eddy Darrell Colson said in an interview whether or not they were Pell Dream program comes as Centenary Staff Writer published by the Centenary News eligible. This is because it’s difficult to celebrates 100 years in Shreveport. Service, “This is part of Centenary’s determine Pell eligibility before filling Centenary President Kenneth L. Students attending Centenary ongoing commitment to make out the FAFSA, and the qualifications Schwab said, “While the College now for the first time in 2008 will have college affordable for students and are rather hazy. serves students from 36 states and another form of financial aid to help their families, and why Centenary “There’s not a limit,” said Rix. 14 countries, we are pleased that the out with the rising costs of education. previously launched CAP (Centenary “I can tell you [about] a family that Louisiana Live Your Dream program The newly announced Louisiana Live Affordability Program) and the has two people—a mother and a means we will open our doors Your Dream aid program will be Campaign for Scholarships.” daughter—a single parent, who even wider to our own Louisiana available to new first year students Crowley and Mary Sue makes $19,000 dollars a year. They students.” eligible for federal Pell Grants, and Rix, Director of Financial Aid at were eligible for absolutely no federal Said Crowley, “We’ve mailed can be renewed for four years based Centenary, noted that Colson was the funds. I can tell you [about] another out to every principle and every on eligibility for the grants. originator of the program. family . . . that made $58,000; they counselor in the state a letter and The program will complete the The program is new, but in a had four children, all in college, and a poster describing the program, cost of tuition after all aid is applied sense it has been available all along. they were all eligible for Pell. So, along with postcards to hand out to to a student’s account. Tim Crowley, Said Crowley, “. . . When we started it’s very hard to say that you can’t students. We’re also working with the Director of Admissions at Centenary, thinking about this and looking at get it because your income is more Office of Church Relations to do the said, “If you took this school year right this, obviously we looked at current than a certain amount.” According same thing with youth pastors. The now, tuition and fees—remember students and past applicants, and to her, Pell eligibility derives from a thing is, I couldn’t call up students we’re not talking the whole ride—it’s we found that this isn’t a program lot of reasons, including income and to ask if they’re Pell eligible, but $20, 950 dollars, for a student here that’s really costing the college a lot number of dependents. there are principles, counselors and right now. Let’s say they bring in of money. In many ways, it’s just Said Rix, “The Pell eligibility and pastors who might know better than federal funds totaling $5,000 dollars, repackaging, because you know funds are the same whether a student me—for example, if they’re on a lunch and the state money they bring in all of the money from the federal attends Notre Dame or Purdue or any program.” is $6,000 dollars. So, $20,950 minus government, all the money from the other school.” The important fact stands $11,000 dollars leaves a balance state government, and all the college Crowley added that, “There’s that the word is out. With luck, Pell of $9,950 dollars. If that student aid is going to take care of the cost; not a magical income level . . . you eligible and non-Pell eligible students received from me, from the get-go, we may have done this in the past, but can’t say [that] if you earn this much, will look at Centenary because of its a President’s Scholarship of 10,000, it’s just a way of repackaging it under you can’t get Pell.” But, said Rix, “I impressive aid package, which puts it’s done. I mean, if a President’s the title of Live Your Dream.” will say that if you make $1,000,000 our college in the right direction. The Scholarship covers it, they’re done. Both Crowley and Rix dollars, you’re probably not going to Louisiana Live Your Dream program So [for] many students, their actual mentioned that there was already be eligible. I will go out on a limb for is just another improvement that scholarship will cover that.” some positive response from some that, but I won’t even say $100,000 should keep us on the right track. Centenary Provost Dr. new students and parents, but also dollars anymore.” said that most wouldn’t yet know The Louisiana Live Your The College remembers Martin Luther King, Jr. at convocation On January 21, 2008 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy was celebrated here at Centenary. As the Minority Student Advisor for the Minority Student Association I would like to say thank you to all who attend the services at Brown Chapel. We are truly grateful to Dean Bradshaw and Student Life for their active roles in this year’s celebration. Minnie Jenkins Pictured: The Union Springs Baptist Church Youth Ensemble “Pebbles of Faith” performed a liturgical dance to “Matthew 28” in Brown Chapel on Monday. Also at the event, Provost Dr. Darrel Colson and Reverend Doyle R. Adams, Sr., delivered moving speeches. Adams is the pastor of Benton’s Elizabeth Baptist Church. Centenary Senior Nolan Budgewater sang “Blessed Assurance” a cappella. Photo by Emily DeLatin.
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 Resident Assistants volunteer at the Food Bank RAs volunteered at the Northwest Louisiana Food Bank on Monday, January 21st from 11 to 1. Photos by Mindy McKoin. National News J. K. Rowling to speak at Harvard STUDENTS, FACULTY commencement AND STAFF MAKE Amanda Russell President and noted historian Drew YOUR NOMINATIONS! Staff Writer G. Faust lauded J.K. Rowling, saying, “Perhaps no one in our time has done Saying goodbye is never easy. more than Rowling to inspire young The seventh annual President's Excellence Award will This past year, I’ve had to say goodbye people to experience the excitement be presented February 2008. This award recognizes to an important part of my fictional and the sheer joy of reading.” The the superior service of an outstanding reading life: Harry Potter and the “Crimson” notes that Rowling’s Centenary College staff member and will be wizarding world. Fortunately for appearance makes up for the fact that consistent with the Outstanding Teacher Award. Potter fans, the release of Book 7 was Harry was never able to return to not the end. J.K. Rowling released Hogwarts as a student for his seventh year. The Harvard community has Guidelines for nominations: “The Tales of Beedle the Bard” and confirmed rumors of possibly writing many devotees. The night the last an eighth Harry Potter book that book in the series, “Harry Potter and 1. Candidates must be currently employed as regu- will focus on obscure characters the Deathly Hallows,” was released, lar fulltime and part time administrators or support and other aspects of the wizarding Harvard Square opened for a staff, as of January 1, 2008. world that did not receive much nightlong celebration. Thousands of attention in the series. Fans have fans flocked to the campus festival to 2. Candidates must have worked at Centenary, as a two more movies to look forward sport their best wizard costumes and enjoy live Wizard Rock performances regular fulltime orpart time administrator or support to as well as fun revelations such as the announcement that Dumbledore by bands such as Harry and the staff member, for at least two years as “bats for the other team.” And who Potters. The popularity of the novels of January 1, 2008 to be eligible for this honor. can hardly wait for the Harry Potter is not surprising: over 375 million theme park, slated to open in Florida copies have been sold worldwide. 3. We are looking for the employee who goes above as early as December 2009? The books are available in over 65 and beyond their job description. The one you can As a senior at Centenary, languages and in 200 countries! As count on to assist where needed and extends graduation is not the end, either. If I commencement speaker, Rowling will receive an honorary degree from that extra effort for the benefit of the Centenary attended Harvard University, I would be in for an extra treat because the Harvard. For the majority of Muggles community. magical mistress herself is slated to (non-magic folk) unable to attend the speak at Harvard’s commencement ceremony, never fear. Harvard will exercises on June 5, according to make a video clip of Rowling’s speech the “Harvard Crimson.” Harvard available on its website.
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 Presidential election 2008 Republicans News in brief: and Democrats Quotes of the Week “I kind of like seeing Barack and Ron Paul still battle for campaigns in Hillary fight. They’re flesh-and- nomination among their parties blood people and they have their Shreveport, differences - let’ em at it.” Beth Craft – Bill Clinton Fred Thompson Staff Writer drops out of Despite Senator John McCain’s victory in South Carolina on Saturday, Republican race January 19, the Republicans’ race Versha Sharma for the presidential nomination continues to heat up. McCain won Editor-in-Chief New Hampshire as well, making him the only Republican candidate to win Republican candidate Ron Paul more than one primary. CNN reports made a campaign stop in Shreveport that McCain took 40% of the non- on Monday. He spoke to supporters evangelical vote, but failed to capture at the Holiday Inn Financial Plaza more “very conservative” votes than downtown about health care, tax Mike Huckabee and Fred Thompson. reform, the economy, and the Huckabee came in second, Thompson ongoing war in Iraq. Paul has a huge claimed third, and Mitt Romney took Internet following but has made small fourth. waves in the media; still, he finished Hilary Clinton won Nevada on second in the Nevada caucuses last Saturday, adding momentum to her week, just after Mitt Romney. Paul victory in New Hampshire; however, spoke of this at his Shreveport stop, she still falls short of Barack Obama according to The Shreveport Times. in delegate votes. Edwards came in “Though we may not be exactly third in Nevada with only 4% of the satisfied with the national coverage, vote, leaving Obama to collect 45%- there is a political equalizer called the -only 6% shy of Clinton’s 51%. With Internet,” he said. Shreveport was Clinton and Obama neck-and-neck the first of three campaign stops Paul with delegate votes, the coming “I got made in Louisiana (Baton Rouge and New Orleans followed). Republicans South Carolina primary, which is set for Saturday, January 26, will be an my voted on Tuesday in state caucuses important win. butt to decide the delegates to the 2008 Louisiana Republican Convention. As for the Republican vote in Nevada, more than half the state kicked. Former Senator Fred elected Mitt Romney. The rest of the You know, ‘what “Could I Thompson has ended his run for the White House. After finishing votes were split between Ron Paul, McCain, Huckabee, and Thompson. happens in just mess your in third place in South Carolina’s Republican primary last Saturday, Paul took 14%, edging out McCain Vegas stays in hair up a little he released a statement on Tuesday and his 13%. Huckabee and Thompson both left with 8%. Vegas?’ I hope bit?” –David saying he withdrew his candidacy for President. Thompson was elected Florida will hold its primaries on Tuesday, January 29. The Associated that turns out Letterman to as a Senator from Tennessee in 1994 Press reports details for this primary. to be true in this John Edwards, and served for eight years before going on to become a star of popular Because Florida broke party rules by moving up its primary, it lost case.” who gained criminal-legal drama “Law & Order.” In other primaries, he did not fare as half of its Republican delegates and - Democratic notoriety for his well: he finished third in Iowa, fifth all of its Democratic ones, leaving only 57 GOP delegates at stake. hopeful John $400 haircuts in Michigan and Nevada, and sixth in New Hampshire. Thompson’s Polls show Clinton boasting a “wide (Edwards did allow lead” over Obama and Edwards, but Edwards on his him to mess it up) withdrawal leaves five candidates in the Republican race: John McCain, the Republicans are still undecided, providing plenty of competition for result in the Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Ron the candidates. Nevada primary Paul, and Rudy Giuliani.
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 INTERNATIONAL POLITICS Castro faces The new year already promises U.S. tensions with Iran an uncertain Charles Eddy Staff Writer the shore or from the boats. Olmert said, “All options that prevent This occurred just prior to Iran from gaining nuclear capabilities President George W. Bush’s tour are legitimate within the context future in Cuba January 6, year’s conflictPentagon of the Middle East.9, Speaking“We of how atofairly clearwith this matter.” The when the began Jerusalem on January he said, in This is grapple declaration that released a grainy video of Iranian have made it very clear, and they he is willing to use military action Kari Patterson speedboats quickly approaching know our position, and that is: There to ensure that Iran doesn’t develop Staff Writer will be serious consequences if they nuclear weapons. The statement can’t U.S. ships in international waters, supposedly threatening them via attack our ships. My advice to them be taken lightly, considering the fact Fidel Castro, 81, may finally be is: Don’t do it.” that Israel bombed an unfinished radio communications. U.S. officials stepping down as the President of National Security Advisor Iraqi nuclear reactor in 1981. The noted that there were no shots fired. Cuba. Castro, who has been Cuba’s Stephen Hadley also said, “It’s the kind reactor was later destroyed in the In the video a navy crew member leader since 1959, was forced to of incident that can provoke exchange 1991 Gulf War. says, “This is coalition warship. I cede acting presidential duties to of fire, and we think the Iranians need Iranian President Mahmoud am engaged in transit passage in his brother, Raul, in 2006 due to to be on notice that they are fishing Ahmadinejad also said recently, “The accordance with international law. I emergency intestinal surgery. in troubled waters here . . . this is a Zionist regime [Israel] . . . would not intend no harm. Over.” While Brazilian President Luiz provocative The boats do not stop their Inacio Lula da Silva agrees with the act, not a approach, and a heavily accented Cuban government in saying that smart thing voice says, “I am coming to you.” Castro “appears healthy enough to to do, and From U.S. ships, a voice says, return to politics,” Castro himself they’re going to have dare attack Iran. The Iranian response to take responsibility would make them regret it, and they announced last week that he was for the consequences know this.” not physically able to campaign in if they do it again.” It seems that tensions are advance of Sunday’s parliamentary Bush, on January 13, said, “Iran growing ever higher, and one can only “Inbound small craft: You are elections. is the world’s leading state sponsor hope that war is not on the horizon; approaching a coalition warship In Sunday’s elections, Castro, of terror. Iran’s actions threaten the however, Bush’s efforts to “confront operating in international waters. Your as well as the other candidates who security of nations everywhere, so this danger before it is too late” are identity is not known; your intentions were running uncontested for their the United States is strengthening our hardly reassuring. Fortunately, Iran are unclear. You may be subject to seats in Parliament, was elected, long-standing security commitments has promised to release details on its defensive measures. Request that but this does not mean that Castro with our friends in the Gulf and past nuclear activities, which may help you establish communications now will automatically continue to be rallying friends around the world to to dispel some fears about Iran. On or alter your course immediately to president. Parliament will meet next confront this danger before it is too the other hand, BBC correspondent remain clear.” month to elect the Council of State, late.” Jon Leyne said that even if Iran does It’s then that a heavily accented which will then elect the President The Iran nuclear crisis hasn’t provide all the answers, this is not voice says, “You will explode in a few from among its numbers. quieted down, either. On January going to solve this crisis. It seems as minutes.” Castro could continue as Cuba’s 18, Iran received its third shipment if more conflict is on the way. Some controversy arose when leader despite fragile health and not of nuclear fuel from Russia. Officials All quotes are from CNN.com and bbc. Iran released its own video, which having appeared in public since his in Tehran said that the shipment co.uk/news. depicted a much calmer version of surgery 18 months ago, but the final stands as more proof that Iran is not Pictured: left, Iranian President Mahmoud the incident than that of the first Ahmadinejad, courtesy of iranchamber. decision will not be announced until enriching uranium to make nuclear video. It also isn’t certain whether the com. Right, George W. Bush, courtesy of February 24. weapons. accented voice that threatened U.S. johnmitchell.org. Photo courtesy of about.com. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud ships came from somewhere along
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 Apple unveils the MacBook Air, the ultimate ultrathin laptop Charles Eddy it will boast a 1.6GHz Intel Core 2 mainstream success remains to be Vongo doesn’t seem like an extremely Staff Writer Duo processor with 2GB of RAM. seen, but one thing’s certain: Apple’s profitable business. Apple’s rental A slick 13.3-inch screen, new notebook is a thing of beauty. service is also vaguely reminiscent of The annual full keyboard, and native The cost is currently $1,799.00. the DIVX systems of the late 1990s, Macworld conference 802.11n support will Apple has also unveiled its new which were terrible failures. However, didn’t bring another round out the notebook. movie rental service. Titles can be it’s always tough to judge the market; iPhone into the world, The MacBook Air downloaded onto a PC and watched watchers can only wait to see what but Mac has promised is extraordinary for such for up to 30 days after they’re put on consumer response will yield. a few noteworthy a thin machine, but its the hard drive, but once a movie starts innovations. lackluster performance playing, the renter only has 24 hours Steve Jobs, and the omission to finish watching it. Movies will cost Apple’s CEO, finally of several standard $2.99 per standard rental and $3.99 revealed plans for a new options—for example, an per new release rental. ultrathin laptop called Ethernet port—will likely Apple’s success in the rental the MacBook Air. The laptop will turn people away. Its battery, like that business is uncertain. Unlike the weigh in at three pounds and be just of the iPhone and iPod, can also only iPhone, which was a sure hit due to over three quarters of an inch thick. be replaced in the factory. Whether its innovative interface and brilliant This is an impressive feat considering this will keep the MacBook Air from marketing campaign, competing with Strange but true news: accidental twincest and a 25-year-old boomerang Kat Michiels burglar at gunpoint felt “an inevitable attraction to one from America containing a 25-year Staff Writer another.” The couple blindly entered old boomerang inside. Along with After a week’s vacation, a couple into marriage, and soon thereafter, the boomerang was a note from Parrot catches couple in the act returned to their home to find that it discovered their twin status. A judge an American who stole it from an had been torn apart. The living room annulled the marriage. Australian museum when he was In England, a parrot revealed was bare, except for piles of trash that What I want to know is why “younger and dumber.” Apparently, to his owner that his girlfriend was were scattered about the first floor. they decided to check on their “twin “Peter” had been riddled with guilt cheating on him with another man. The husband, Adrian, went upstairs status.” What exactly compelled for the past 25 years and so finally The African Grey Parrot, named to see what damage had been done them to check out this conspiracy plucked up the courage to send it Ziggy, tipped off his owner, Chris to the bedrooms and happened upon theory? Today’s lesson: Marrying back. Taylor, by making kissing sounds the burglar, who was wearing Adrian’s your first cousin from Arkansas is not The museum had since closed every time it heard the name “Gary” hat. the worst-case scenario. down, and Australian officials are on the television or the radio. At first, Enraged (probably because now trying to locate the original Taylor thought it was just something of the hat situation), Adrian held Boomerang returns after 25 owner of the boomerang. he had picked up, but became more the burglar at gunpoint before even years Too bad Ziggy wasn’t around suspicious when the parrot began calling police. Husband and wife when Peter decided to five-finger the to say “Hiya Gary” every time his then forced the burglar to clean up An Australian Outback town boomerang. He would have been so girlfriend’s cell phone rang. the mess he had made, putting things was shocked to find a parcel of mail busted. Suzy Collins, the girlfriend, back in drawers and in cabinets. confessed when the couple was When the police arrived, the snuggling on the couch together. Ziggy, in Collins’ voice, chirped “I burglar complained about having to clean up his mess at gunpoint, but Scholarship Opportunity love you, Gary,” causing the girl to the officers laughed at him. Under admit to having a four-month fling Alabama law, the couple could have $25,000 scholarship for deserving students who self with coworker Gary. killed the burglar without penalty. Although Taylor ended the identify as being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered relationship with Collins, he also had In London, husband plus wife provided by PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of to give up his beloved Ziggy, who equals twins Lesbians and Gays) continued to blurt out Gary’s name after the break-up. Ziggy now has a They didn’t get married and For additional information, contact Dr. Joe Melcher, new home found by a local pet store have twins. This couple fell in love, Chair of the Scholarship Committee owner. got married, and then discovered (504) 944-6013 Ziggy and Taylor had been that they were twins. A boy and girl, together for eight years. in an almost Hollywood fashion, (504) 520-5099 were separated at birth and adopted. Due date for applications: February 10, 2008 Montgomery couple holds Quite a few years later, they met and
    • January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15 Advice from Allison: On secret-keeping and maintaining friendships Allison Cormier difficult, especially if they contain the entire campus. You can place an Dear Solitude, Staff Writer really incriminating, juicy details ad in the Conglomerate by emailing It is very difficult to deal with a about people that you know. Not centenaryconglomerate@gmail.com. best friend getting a new boyfriend. The opinions and ideas expressed in this even I can resist gossip sessions with It is a small price to pay to keep a On the one hand, you sympathize article do not in any way reflect those of anyone and everyone I meet, even if I friendship strong. because you know what it is like to Centenary College, the Conglomerate, don’t know them. Having your most start hanging out with a new love or the writer herself. In fact, these ideas intimate details spilled out to your Dear Allison, interest. On the other hand, you probably don’t express any intelligently informed opinions anyway. entire sorority, philosophy class, and My best friend has started think that you would never abandon Dear Allison, the men’s soccer team can be quite seeing this new guy on a regular a friend the way she’s abandoned you. My best friend cannot keep embarrassing, and it is enough to tear basis, and I never get to see her. Last It hurts to be the odd man out. I’ve a secret. Every time I confide in a friendship apart. The best way to semester we had every class together, found that the best way to deal with her with personal information, she approach your friend on this subject studied together, and spent most of this situation is to get to know your immediately turns around and tells is to talk to her privately about it. Let our free time together. Now that we friend’s new guy. Becoming friends everyone. I really don’t want this her know how this situation makes don’t have any of the same classes, I with your friend’s significant other problem to ruin our friendship, but you feel. If your friend is truly your don’t get to see her on a regular basis will guarantee you more time spent I don’t know how to approach her best friend, then she will understand and she seems to be spending the with your best friend. Ask this new about it. I don’t think she realizes that and hopefully begin to work on her majority of her free time with this guy out for dinner and a movie, just she’s doing anything wrong. case of gossip diarrhea. To make sure new guy. How can I let her know that the two of you. Really, really get to Sophomore Secrets that your friend really understands I miss spending time with her and know this guy. Take him back to your the seriousness of this issue, take out would like to find some time to hang place and see what happens. I think Dear Secrets, a full page ad in the Conglomerate out? your best friend will get the hint Keeping secrets can be very and spill all of your friend’s secrets to Senior Solitude eventually. College Night has moved! To Pieworks on Pierremont in Towne Oaks Square next to Superior Steakhouse Every Friday from 5 until close. get a medium 1 topping pizza for only $5.00, 2 for 1 Wine, Well, and Draft $4.00 Domestic pitchers, $5.00 Import Pitchers
    • January 25, 2008 10 Volume 84, Issue 15 New Hoodlum Circus album A evokes sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll Man,” begins. Its throbbing, humming intro &E easily lulls the listener into a false sense of security before exploding into a blunt force stomp that brings to mind images of dirty sex in an alleyway behind a dumpster or one-night- stands that leave you reeking of cigarettes and Micah Harold cheap perfume. Guest Contributor Lyrically, it smacks of 1950s “beat” with a kind of twisted poetry one Micah Harold is a Shreveport Times could only hope to find (if one were featured artist. He practices tattooing so lucky) scribbled on the walls of a at Third Eye Tattoo (formerly Modern truck stop restroom. Primitives) on Kings Highway next to “Barnburner,” the seemingly campus, which he co-owns. Celebrating Mardi Gras at Centenary out-of-place third track, is the band’s declaration of independence. It’s a Following in the footsteps of rollicking exercise in artistic license musical greats like Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, that shuns the complacency of modern Believe it or not, Mardi Gras is a few short weeks away and Black Flag and the Dead Kennedys, music through a vituperate mix of The Hoodlum Circus takes the sound we are gearing up for the Highland Parade and Centenary's a step further by way of their new traditional country chords, punk Annual Family Zone Party on Jones-Rice Field. rhythms and yowling vocals. The song EP, an aural barrage of sex, drugs delivers an in-your-face idea of what it and rock ‘n roll called “Fuck Y’all.” would be like to beat Hank Williams, Mark your calendars for Sunday, February 3rd from Noon - As one would expect, “Fuck Tom Waits, and a fifth of whiskey 4 if you want to join in the fun on campus. It's a great place Y’all” delivers, with sounds that together with a pair of boxing gloves. to be when the parade rolls by. scream at the listener like the ravings Lastly, but certainly not of a mad Baptist preacher backed by a least, is “Akira,” a tirade of seemingly disgruntled choir. Make no mistake; all Interested in riding on the Centenary oat? A few spots are involved parties speak for themselves. drunken ramblings only half masked still open. For more information, contact Alumni Chapter by the song’s smart lyrics. There is an The opening eight chords of intelligence at work somewhere back President Angie White '93 at angelalynnwhite@comcast.net “Vegas” set the tone. The song strips there. “Akira” wraps up the EP on a you naked and throws you into a chaotic hard note, assuring listeners that The Have any beads and/or other throws to contribute to the land of Nod, clutched in the grasps Hoodlum Circus leaves no picket- oat? Please bring them to the Alumni Relations O ce in of a delirious, experimental diatribe line left uncrossed, no musical bridge that promises to push back twice 2910 Centenary Blvd. as hard. It doesn’t take long for the left unburned, no genre left undefiled We'd love to have whatever you can spare. and no soul left behind to question listener to quickly realize that it’s not the type of weirdness their collective just the vocals on a rant, but the band Need more details about the day? creativity is capable of producing. itself, hell bent on exacting a carefully Hoodlum Circus members Contact Carla at calsando@centenary.edu orchestrated attack on the senses by John Cassaro and Camille Gladney way of their bumping bass, violent attend Centenary. You can find the percussion and grinding guitars. band online at www.myspace.com/ As soon as the first track hoodlumcircus. ends, the second track, “Brave
    • January 25, 2008 11 Volume 84, Issue 15 Untimely death of actor Heath Ledger shocks the public Versha Sharma Ledger’s father, mother, and sister were responding to a cardiac arrest mass-murdering, schizophrenic Editor-in-Chief made their statements to reporters in call at the apartment. clown with zero empathy,” according Perth, Australia, where he was born. The media has jumped on his to CNN.com. What most media Actor Heath Ledger, 28 years After Wednesday’s autopsy, a portrayal of The Joker in “The Dark pundits have highlighted, however, old, was found dead in a Manhattan is the suggestion that he was on apartment on Tuesday afternoon. An prescription sleeping pills in order to autopsy conducted on Wednesday overcome the problem – he told the yielded inconclusive results. Associated Press that they were not In the news surrounding his helping. death – which was broken barely an Ledger became a teen star after hour after he passed away – many his breakout role in 1999’s “10 Things I contradictory reports emerged. First, Hate About You,” the modern take on it was reported that sleeping pills were Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew” scattered around his unconscious in which he co-stars with Julia Stiles. body, which later proved to be false. After the success of that film, however, Then it was reported by The New Ledger spent a year rejecting more York Times that the apartment offers for teen romantic comedies, Ledger was in was owned/inhabited unwilling to be typecast. He grasped by Mary-Kate Olsen, which also later the chance to be in the serious period turned out to be false. However, news drama “The Patriot” in 2000, in which reports that broke early on Thursday he plays Mel Gibson’s son and shows morning quoting a detailed police his real talent at acting. After that report said that the massage therapist came a starring role in “A Knight’s who found Ledger made her first call Tale” and a dark supporting role in to Mary-Kate – before even calling “Monster’s Ball,” as well as turns in the paramedics. “The Four Feathers,” “Ned Kelly,” and The facts, according to the “The Order” through 2003, and the police, are that Ledger was found lead role in “Casanova” in 2005. face down and unconscious in his spokeswoman K n i g h t ,” Perhaps his most notable role bed when his masseuse attempted for a medical the sequel – certainly what seems to be his most to rouse him for an appointment. examiner said to “Batman remembered – is that of Ennis Del Prescription medicine, including that “a cause- B e g i n s ,” Mar in 2005’s “Brokeback Mountain,” sleeping pills, was found on the of-death which is in which he plays the tortured, lone bedside table, and a rolled-up $20 determination slated for cowboy with conflicting feelings bill was tested for drug residue – and will take 10 release this about his homosexuality opposite came back negative. According to AP to 14 days.” July. While Jake Gyllenhaal. He received an Oscar reports, authorities found six types of Still, President fellow actor nod for Best Actor for the movie and prescription drugs in the apartment, Bush cancelled and Batman won the Australian Film Institute’s including some to treat insomnia and an event star Michael International Award for the same. anxiety, as well as an antihistamine. scheduled for Caine has His quietly moving performance of Three of the prescriptions came from the launch of a said that Ennis was deeply resonant with many Europe; Ledger had been filming in public-service Ledger made viewers, even leading the Gay and London just weeks previously. ad campaign the character Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Massage therapist Diana about the f r i g hte n i n g to state that it “changed hearts and Wolozin told police that she knew dangers of a n d minds in immeasurable ways.” Olsen and Ledger were friends, and pre s cr iption Christopher Ledger was filming “The called her from his cell phone to ask drug abuse. Nolan cited Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” for advice on what to do next. Olsen, White House how deeply at the time of his death, his second who was in California at the time, spokeswoman he went into film with Terry Gilliam after “The reportedly said she would send over Dana Perino the role, Brothers Grimm.” private security guards (who later told CNN that Bush did not want the press has repeatedly quoted an He is survived by his two-year- arrived at about the same time as the to “run the risk of anyone thinking interview Ledger did with The New old daughter, Matilda Rose. Her paramedics). that we were being opportunistic York Times in which he spoke about mother is Ledger’s former fiancé Police also stated that they in highlighting the issue.” Again, no how the character was affecting him. actress Michelle Williams. did not suspect foul play and found definitive cause of death has been He said he slept an average no note that could indicate suicide. stated, but the police are calling it of two hours a night one week Top photo from Rolling Stone, According to CNN.com, Ledger’s a “possible drug overdose.” Early because he “couldn’t stop thinking” bottom photo from Publishers’ family stated that his death was “very reports about Ledger’s death said about The Joker, a character who Weekly. tragic, untimely and accidental.” that emergency medical personnel he described as a “psychopathic,
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 MOVIE TIMES “27 Dresses” provides comedy without clichés Select times at Tinseltown on Friday, Saturday, and Versha Sharma turn as the plucky Casey in this talent. Whether it’s the actors or the Sunday Editor-in-Chief film provides some of the most characters who are flat in this case entertaining moments – not least of is hard to tell, but they don’t really “27 Dresses” achieves that ideal which is when she literally has to slap detract from the movie – they just “27 Dresses” feat so rare for a romantic comedy: a running time of one hour and 47 Jane back into reality. Jane and Kevin/Malcolm Doyle don’t contribute to it much. The only other negative aspect 1:40, 4:25, 7:05, 9:40 minutes and a distinct lack of corny (James Marsden of “Hairspray” and of this movie is its predictability. You moments, all the while providing real “Enchanted”) have great chemistry as won’t know the entire map of the laugh-out-loud moments. an on-screen couple; their interaction movie after watching the first five “Cloverfield” Now, the amount of corny is flirtatious, entertaining, and enviable minutes, but the seasoned viewer of 2:20, 3:30, 4:40, 5:50, moments may be up for debate enough that the two cringeworthy romantic comedies will certainly be depending upon the viewer’s level moments I did count did not detract able to see drama coming around the 7:00, 8:10, 9:20, 10:30 of testosterone (indeed, the two red- from my overall enjoyment. Jane corner in certain parts. blooded males watching it with us is the adorable protagonist who has Still, it’s original enough to termed the movie “okay” in contrast been a bridesmaid 27 times, both stand apart from others in its genre. “The Great Debaters” to my sister’s and my opinion of “let’s because of her inability to say no and One noteworthy scene centers (filmed in Shreveport watch it again – right now!”), but her old-school romantic beliefs in the around the classic song “Bennie and it’s still significantly less than most importance of love. Kevin is 100% the Jets.” Suffice it to say that the cost and Mansfield, run-of-the-mill romantic comedies. her foil, a cynic who’s been burned of your movie ticket is worth just Louisiana) I enjoy my “How to Lose a Guy in by his own fiasco of a wedding in the this one part, which will have you 10 Days” and “Never Been Kissed” past, doomed to writing wedding giggling nonstop, enjoying Elton John 8:15 as much as the next softie, but they announcements only because his like never before, and possibly even definitely contain cringeworthy editor firmly keeps him there. singing along. moments. My favorite part of “27 Marsden has shown his talent It’s well-written, witty, funny, New in theaters this Dresses,” besides the real hilarity and versatility over the years, from and charming – forget your significant weekend: it offers, was the fact that it didn’t the brooding Cyclops in the “X- other (or your potential future one); have me sitting in the cinema feeling Men” trilogy to the handsome and this movie provides the perfect date. “Meet the Spartans” awkward. Example: Kate Hudson’s understandably popular Corny “Rambo” “You’re So Vain” performance in Collins who stands up for “How to Lose a Guy…” and every minorities in “Hairspray” to “Untraceable” other emotional, tearful speech by the goofy, dashing prince “How She Move” Drew Barrymore in “Never Been in “Enchanted.” Kevin’s Kissed” constitute acting that cannot persistent pursuit of Jane “Michael Clayton” (re- be tolerated, no matter how dreamy borders on being a creepy release) Matthew McConaughey or Michael stalker, but he is just shy of Vartan is. the line – as one “27 Dresses”- Jane (Katherine Heigl of lovin’ fan said, “If that was Top 10 at the “Grey’s Anatomy” or “Knocked Up”), almost any other guy, he would however, is virtually never annoying or have a restraining order. But Box Office: embarrassing, a real accomplishment he was just so cute!” Physical in itself because her character of Izzie appeal aside (and Marsden is 1. “Cloverfield” on “Grey’s” is a source of great and appealing, with his deep blue 2. “27 Dresses” constant personal irritation. Her eyes and his unforgettable evolution as a character over the smile), it is his acting that 3. “The Bucket List” course of the movie is convincing, makes him “so cute!” Here, he 4. “Juno” because she learns lessons the difficult proves his worth as a leading way and actually and visibly changes. man, one who is alternately 5. “National Treasure: Unsurprisingly, the endearing Jane charming and funny as well Book of Secrets” – though sometimes frustratingly as believably hurting from spineless in the first half of the film past pain. 6. “First Sunday” – has everyone rooting for her happy The supporting 7. “Alvin and the ending. characters of Tess, Jane’s Judy Greer fills her usual role younger, blonde sister who Chipmunks” as the close friend of the damsel in gets engaged in about five 8. “Mad Money” distress, but her acting is memorable seconds flat, and George, and refreshing this time around. Jane’s stud of a boss who (filmed in Shreveport) Though she has filled the shoes of commands her attention, 9. “I Am Legend” the bitchier and thus more amusing are respectively played by sidekick in the likes of “The Wedding Malin Akerman and Edward 10. “Atonement” Planner” and “13 Going on 30,” her Burns with considerably less
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 “Cloverfield”: monster movie Opinion: And the Golden proves to be a monster hit Globe goes to...who? Sam Ortiz She’s not alone. After years Todd Johnson know them during the party. Basically Staff Writer of being overlooked, Johnny Depp A & E Editor the first 15 minutes of this very short finally gets the respect and attention movie (86 minutes) is spent on And the Golden Globe goes to... he deserves, but Murphy’s Law, I have never been the biggest developing characters. And then the who the hell knows? I’d be astonished right...too bad it had to be this year. monster movie fan. By monster attack begins with an earthquake. if too many people besides me made This may seem like a crazy idea, movies, I mean movies with gigantic From there on out, the movie is one it through the pallid and seemingly but it seems to me that a program monsters that trash cities because very intense ride that rarely pauses to never-ending hour-long press designed to honor the artists-- for they can (i.e. Godzilla). I have never breathe and leaves you drained by the conference to even hear the winners your information writers, that means been the biggest fan of “Godzilla” (I end. announced. you too -- should have been given a quit watching it when I was eight). By using this handheld camera A year such as this one has been ton more consideration than this. The only giant technique, the especially psychologically damaging Though there is light in the monster I ever audience becomes to people like me all across America. tunnel; it’s so heartwarming to see liked was King part of the First, half of Broadway is MIA due some of my favorite actors putting Kong. action with the to striking, and now Hollywood has themselves in the picket line for the Well, that characters. This been hit hard with this damaging writers (Katherine Heigl, Tina Fey, changed the helps them get into affliction. etc.). So far no mention of a star other day when the movie more I won’t lie to you, when I heard volunteering to take a slight pay cut I saw a monster than usual. While the Golden Globes Ceremony wasn’t in order to benefit the writers’ salary that could make it is a little jarring going to happen I was mortified. increase, but maybe that’s asking a King Kong at first, I became This time of year is what I live for. little too much. and Godzilla adjusted to the Oh, but don’t you fret, our favorite I’m just crossing my fingers scream uncle style and I never corner-cutting, money-hoarding big- that by some divine miracle this all while still really noticed it wigs were there to provide us with a gets taken care of “with all deliberate managing to throughout the “boss!”* solution -- air the Globes in a speed.” My heart sank into the pit of devour a few rest of the movie. 60-minute presentation and hire two my stomach when I heard the Oscars hundred people The monster unknowns to present them. (*This is a might not happen. I await that Sunday in the process. in this movie is reference to “Juno,” for the five of you awards show like it’s the Super Bowl The monster a sight to see. who haven’t seen it yet.) It felt like or LSU playing in the BCS title game. does not have Looking like a watching the Caddo School Board It has to happen, right? Everyone is a name. All I mix of Sin from Award Ceremonies I had to attend as feeling the ramifications of this strike know is that he “Final Fantasy X” a kid, and we all know how riveting and it is high time it ended (maybe in shows up in the movie “Cloverfield” and the Sammael from “Hellboy,” this those can be. time for the Oscars? Please?). and lays waste to New York City in a is big, nasty, and hungry. He drops It’s quite an exciting time for Just do me a favor. If you do big way. little monsters that eat people and an actor. Congrats, Marion Cotillard! nothing else, read over the list of The movie is told from the sometimes cause them, in one very Before, nobody knew your name, winners once or twice because they unique perspective of a handheld gruesome sequence, to explode. The and now you’ve received your first deserve at least that. Oh, and Ms. camera. One single camera special effects are simply amazing, nomination and win! Oh, wait, people Cotillard’s agents can reward me throughout the entire film. In fact, especially once you realize this movie still don’t know your name. I’m sorry; appropriately for that name drop the title of the film refers to the code was made for the same amount of at least the trophy will accent your anytime they feel ready. name the tape is given by the military money that Will Smith got paid to drawing room beautifully. after it was found in an area formerly star in “I Am Legend.” known as Central Park. A word of warning, though: Anyway, through this camera, This movie is not for people who get Learning Lab we meet our main characters Rob motion-sickness easily (as the camera (Michael Stahl-David), Beth (Odette shakes quite a bit) or for people who like endings that are neat and tidy. In Schedule Yustman), Lily (Jessica Lucas), Marlena (Lizzy Caplan), Jason fact, it is safe to say that the movie (Mike Vogel), and our cameraman really doesn’t have an ending. It just Hud (T.J. Miller). They are all young stops. However, this was expected Writing Lab twentysomethings from New York, given the format of the storytelling. Sun-Thur 8-10 pm obviously. During the night of a party However, if you want a very for Rob, who is leaving for a new job intense, sometimes scary, and Learning Labs (various subjects available) in Japan, a large lizard-like monster extremely entertaining monster movie, “Cloverfield” is definitely the Sun-Thurs 6-9 pm attacks the city and they are forced to try and survive the night and escape way to go. Here is hoping that they make a companion movie told from The labs should be opening starting on the 23rd. the path of the monster. This movie takes its time to set the perspective of the military or up the characters and let you get to something.
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 TV spotlight: “Torchwood” and The Screen Take a mission trip to Actors Guild awards are must-sees this weekend Mexico Versha Sharma on this season of “Torchwood,” If you are interested in going on the Spring Mis- Editor-in-Chief making the show the crossover-fan’s complete dream. If you haven’t been sion Trip to Mexico, March 14-19, please plan on -Saturday, January 26, 8:00 pm busy watching all of Series Three attending the information meeting Wednesday, Channel: BBC America of “Doctor Who” on the internet, Jan. 30 at 6pm in the Smith Building Room 203. Show: “Torchwood” the American broadcast of those episodes also begins this Saturday, There are a limited number of spaces available for Why it’s important: This is the premiere of the second season and those who need to catch up on this trip. A $35 deposit can be made at of “Torchwood,” the award-winning “Torchwood” so far can enjoy the Wednesday's meeting which will be put toward the (and rating-record-breaking), edgy, DVD which was just released this Tuesday. Still skeptical? Here’s a fun cost of the trip. Registration deadline is Friday, supernatural television show from across the pond. The most popular tidbit: James Marsters, known in February 15th. The total cost for the trip is $600. show on BBC America, it has already “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” circles There will be scholarships to cover half of the cost premiered in the UK to rapturous as the beloved Spike, will be on the premiere (and even share a steamy so each participant will be responsible for paying reviews. While the label of sci-fi turns off some people, the show presents kiss with Captain Jack). $300. Fundraising options to help cover the $300 more than enough reasons for non- that you are responsible for will be discussed at Trekkies to watch: the handsome -Sunday, January 27, 7:00 pm Channel: TNT and TBS the meeting. Please contact Laura Canfield if you and deliciously naughty bisexual Captain Jack Harkness, played by the Show: The Screen Actors Guild have any questions at lcanfiel@centenary.edu or handsome and deliciously naughty Awards (live) call 318.869.5280. gay Scottish-American actor John Why it’s important: Those of Barrowman; the often-contradictory us who craved the movie awards personality of Gwen, played by season – Golden Globes one Sunday Vote now! breakout star Eve Myles (even if her night, Oscars another one, and clips Welsh accent is sometimes annoying, from all the wonderful films we’ve the evolution of her character is spent our hard-earned money on in fascinating); and the often clever, between (not to mention our favorite always brilliant scriptwriting of the stars in the most glamorous outfits) likes of Russell – have been shafted by T. Davies, Log in at https://secure.centenary.edu/login/ responsible for the ongoing the genius that writers’ is the modern strike. The Please submit your nominations by Friday, “Doctor Who.” G o l d e n February 1, 2008. Faculty members who have That said, this Globes didn’t served at Centenary College for five years or is a must- happen, longer are eligible. In your nomination see for any and though message, please provide reasons why your nominations “Doctor Who” nominee should be considered an fan, and not were released Tu e s d a y, outstanding teacher. Consider teaching just because of the presence a perilous ability, excellence in advising, College of Captain Jack shadow of service, mentoring ability, and campus (a recurring doubt has leadership in your evaluation. character on been cast both shows). over the A committee of student members selects a Oscars. Series Three deserving recipient. We will announce the companion award at the Founders' Day activities on M a r t h a cont. Jones will February 21, 2008. Please carefully consider on next make several your teachers and colleagues and submit page app e arance s persuasive nominations.
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 TV spotlight: what to watch this weekend, cont. from page 14 Luckily, the Writers Guild of America granted the Screen Actors Guild a waiver which allowed a union writer to script remarks for awards presenters (which include John Travolta, Russell Crowe, Steve Carell, Tina Fey, and Kate Hudson). This ceremony received the waiver that was denied to both the Golden Globes and (thus far) the Oscars because the Screen Actors Guild is publicly supportive of the striking writers. The award ceremony will take center stage this year as the only one to actually be attended by Hollywood stars and not picketed by the writers. As the award show “where only actors vote for actors,” the evening should be both surprising and entertaining. Pictured on page 14, left side: John Barrowman plays Captain Jack Harkness, the leader on “Torchwood, while James ” Marsters makes a guest appearance on the second season premiere as Captain John. (Hotties.) Marsters is best known for playing Spike in the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” series. Photo from doctorwhonews.com.
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 Sports Jarboe Jabber: Olympic events that VS will probably never make it Michael Jarboe Sports Editor be at an all-time high. It would be paradise! Okay, maybe my love for macaroni would not make it to the As the 2008 Beijing Olympics list. Still, you can’t say the idea was quickly approach us, I can’t help but that cheesy (I know, I’m good). to think how there is no way I will What if playing Madden on ever get to compete in any of the Xbox was an Olympic sport? What Super Bowl coach evaluation events. I just don’t think it’s possible. These Herculean heroes and heroines a dream. There would always be a game to play with your friend (that work and focus their entire lives, one friend that still really wants to Michael Jarboe Spagnuolo, knowing his players devoted to one individual practice. be that full-time video game master Sports Editor can’t defend Brady with top-notch How does one honestly do that, I ask? and still wears his letterman jacket coverage, will rely on the pass rush of As for me, I would consider myself in public places and wants you to As the 42nd Super Bowl quickly Strahan and Umenyiora. Spagnuolo an all-around kind of guy. I never sleep over creepily when you come approaches, we have now come to also will employ multiple zone blitzes really focused all my attention on one back home from college–we all have a time of evaluation -evaluation of to try to force Brady to hold the ball sport in order to compete at a world- one). Carpal tunnel would be a two talented teams that are both until the pass rush gets to him. The wide level. So, what if I did? What if commonality. People who were really skilled in various different areas. A Giants will send pressure up the with the activities I love to do they into it would have belts around their perfect New England Patriots season middle to try to take away Brady’s made an Olympic event. Ladies and waists carrying two fresh controllers is hard to argue with when it comes step-up lane and flush him out of Gentlemen, in the world of Jarboe just in case the ones they were to the question of skill. Possibly one the pocket. However, McDaniels can Jabber, anything could happen. currently using jammed. Of course, of the deadliest combos (Tom Brady counter with quick passes, screens, What if eating macaroni this is for a total nerd, and if I ever and Randy Moss) has been nothing and shotgun formations to keep and cheese was an Olympic sport? see anyone on campus with that I less than legendary as it rocked the Brady upright. Come on, think about it. You’d line will honestly set your pants on fire, * entire AFC to its core this season. On The New York Giants up all your different competitors with reaches down and tightens controller the other hand, you have the rather Offensive coordinator Kevin spoons, set in front of them each a vat holder around his waist*. youthful and surprising team–New Gilbride has done a good job of getting of the cheesiest macaroni and cheese Well, it looks as if none of my York Giants–that is ready to give its Manning to manage the game and you can think of, have a time set for ideas would really work very well. I 18-0 opponent a run for its perfect make the most of his opportunities two hours and go! The end result will just have to deal with watching season. Eli Manning, who at one point off play-action. Expect Gilbride to would not be pretty, but consider the the Olympics from the comfort of my of the season had fewer fantasy points keep things simple. He’ll make sure hype of this sport. If you had any kind couch in my dorm room for the rest of than any other QB, has proven that Manning is focused on his presnap of stock in Kraft you’d be rocking and my life. I challenge you today, children he means business this season. You reads and recognizes the many blitz rolling (take that Microsoft). Athletes of the world. Go out and work toward know all the jazz about the players looks the Patriots will use out of their would have signature spoons that having one of your passions or talents and who the star match-ups on the 3-4 front. OLBs Thomas and Mike little boys and girls would save up created into an Olympic event that field are going to be, so what about on Vrabel will line up all over the field, their money from mowing the lawn we all may watch from Beijing. Live the sidelines? Coaches Bill Belichick and they do a good job of faking the to purchase and show off in front of the dream, baby. Live the dream. and Tom Coughlin are very respected blitz and dropping into coverage. their friends. Constipation would in the NFL by other coaches. Here are With Harrison playing predominantly some of the things they will have to in the box, the Pats will be able to work on to bring their teams to the send either Vrabel or Thomas off the National Championship. edge while crashing their ends inside The New England Patriots to create one-on-one mismatches. Bill Belichick and offensive Gilbride and Coach Tom Coughlin coordinator Josh McDaniels are will counter by limiting Manning’s masters of the match-up game and pass attempts and focusing on the will attack the Giants’ weaknesses. running game. Brady will be coached to use Information gathered from quick slants and crossing routes. www.sportingnews.com. Giants defensive coordinator Steve
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 The Conglomerate presents: The life of a Centenary athlete LSU will have Allison McClain game-like situations. One day was #25 Stacy Whitmer—Pitcher five players in Staff Writer devoted only to base running. At first from Henderson, KY Super Bowl we were a little uneasy about the idea #31 Beth Krysiak—Catcher/ Kat Michiels It’s softball season and time to of running in frigid temperatures at 3rd baseman from The Woodlands, Staff Writer meet the team…. 9 a.m. in the morning, but honestly TX After a week back to the basics it was one of the most productive Freshman: LSU, now with two BCS of school and softball, I have found learning practices this season. #3 Bonnie Matak—Outfielder championships, will have five of its myself immersed amongst the ever- Our team is ready more than from Richmond, TX former football players in the Super so-strenuous load of being a collegiate ever, I can already tell, for the #7 Lauren Highsmith— Bowl when the New England Patriots student-athlete. season to begin. We are Pitcher from Houston, TX face off against the New York Giants Our team kicked anxious and excited to #16 Caitlin Cavarra—Utility at Super Bowl XLII. off the season have 14 girls returning from Brentwood, TN One former Tiger, cornerback with a “bonding” from last season and Coaches: Corey Webster, will don a New York day two days two newcomers who Head Coach: Mark jersey. Joining the still-undefeated before the rest of have proven to be a key Montgomery Patriots will be cornerback Randall the student body impact on our team. Assistant: Lyndsey Angus Gay, linebacker Eric Alexander, unpacked their The fall was successful, Assistant: Dan Moreman defensive tackle Jarvis Green, and belongings from but the spring is our We open the season with a day running back Kevin Faulk. the Christmas season and with only of scrimmages against local rival Green and Faulk have already holidays. Awaiting a few weeks until the BPCC on Saturday, February 2, and been to the Super Bowl three times the season to first pitch, nothing can then kick off our official season by and now claim three victories. Gay begin seems to be be more exciting than traveling to Texarkana on February and Alexander were both starters on the most difficult the feeling of our first 8 to face Oklahoma State, UAB, and the 2003 BCS championship team. part of this time of win. Our pitchers and Arkansas. Just stay tuned for weekly If you are an LSU fan or are the year. With only catchers are a whole year updates on our season from yours ready to see the Patriots go completely about a week or so older and carry a year of truly and come out and support us at undefeated, make sure to catch the left until our first experience under their the Centenary Softball Complex. actual Super Bowl on February 3 at game, our preparation has not let maroon belts, and that alone makes “I come to play everyday.” – 5:30, broadcast live from Phoenix, up. From six a.m. morning workouts me extremely eager to compete. David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox Arizona, by FOX news station. to the three-hour practices every I want to take this time to night—we are ready to begin. introduce everyone to this year’s So, school has started back…. Ladies softball team, who will and the life of no sleep and studying represent Centenary College and continues to challenge me as I fight the Summit League this season, in the pressure of being successful. hopes of bringing home a conference Though, I must admit it helps to have championship. a team who is living the same life as I Seniors: am right now. #2 Lauren Flowers— The first week back we opened Centerfielder from San Antonio, TX the season with our favorite of all #11 Lyn Virdell—2nd baseman drills. Wet and muddy, we pushed from Claremore, OK through the 26-minute drill only to #12 Jennifer Martin— experience a week or so of soreness. We Leftfielder from Fort Worth, TX consider ourselves not only athletes, #22 Amy Wiedeman— but knowledge athletes at that, so we Outfielder from Houston, TX spend quite a bit of time on mental Juniors: training and understanding our roles #8 Allison McClain—Utility as members of the Centenary Ladies Infielder from Diboll, TX softball team. So, with that, a few #10 Leslie Postles— hours were spent on building each Outfielder from Shreveport, LA other’s trust and learning more about #14 Emerald Doria— each of the members of our team Shortstop from San Antonio, TX since we will spend every waking Sophomores: moment together come two weeks. #6 Haley Bassett—Catcher/ Practices have been cold, I have 3rd baseman from Bossier City, LA to say, but playing in the Summit #9 Brittany Williams—1st League, this is no comparison to the baseman from Antioch, TN temperatures we face up north. We are #15 Ali Shepperd—3rd just lucky to be on the field this early baseman/catcher from Marshall, TX in January. Throughout these last few #21 Ryan Thacker—Pitcher weeks, our practices have focused on from Alto, TX
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 Crossword Puzzle: Horoscopes Name that Actor Aquarius (1/21-2/19) I admit, congratulations are in order for your latest accomplishment. Maybe you have a shot in life after all. Pisces (2/20-3/20) Blah blah blah blah blah. Aries (3/21-4/20) Find a tire, preferably one on a car, and tie it to a tree, thus making a tire swing. Proceed to romp and play like a five year old. Then abandon your play when you realize you are not five. Taurus (4/21-5/21) Cold pizza at 3 am does great things for your complexion. Mind you, your waist will never be the same. Gemini (5/22-6/21) For two ugly people, you sure are cute. Cancer (6/22-7/23) I would reassure you, but that’s not my style. I prefer to rob you of all hope and optimism, forcing you into a depression where you discover that things can only get better. This way, you can arrive at your own optimism. Leo (7/24-8/23) Your “love life” consists of misunderstood text messages and drunken make-out sessions. Sure, this is no way to find “the one,” but it’s still fun, right? Right? ACROSS Virgo (8/24 –9/23) Your band sounds 2. Spanglish and Big Daddy DOWN nothing like Velvet Underground, I’m sorry 3. Net and Miss Congeniality 1. Italian Job and Planet of the Apes to break it to you. Quit now before you 11. Face Off and Con Air 4. The Birdcage and Good Will Hunting permanently injure someone’s ear drums. 13. 50 First Dates and Charlie’s Angels 5. X-men and Gothika Libra (9/24-10/22) Meow. 14. Save the Last Dance and Mona Lisa 6. Say Anything and Serendipity Smile 7. Pulp Fiction and Face Off Scorpio (10/23-11/22) I don’t care what they 15. Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill 8. X-men and The Prestige say: if you have fantasies about breakfast 18. Batman Begins and 3:10 to Yuma 9. Pirates of the Carribean and foods, you are not completely sane, and you 19. Marie Antoinette and Spiderman Elizabethtown can throw all your hopes of vegetarianism out the window. 21. Spiderman and Seabiscuit 10. Ocean’s Eleven and Michael Clayton 22. Without a Paddle and Can’t Hardly 12. Legally Blonde and Walk the Line Sagittarius (11/23-12/21) I know you hold Wait 14. Erin Brockovich and Pretty Woman a candle for that guy/girl in your MWF 23. G.I. Jane and Ghost 16. Die Hard and Pulp Fiction morning class, but I have to break it to you: 24. Elf and Anchorman 17. Pirates of the Carribean and Secret they are holding a candle for the guy/girl in 25. Speed and The Matrix Window their M 2-5 seminar. The heart is a delicate organ. 26. Bourne Identity and Good Will 20. Ocean’s Eleven and Fight Club Hunting Capricorn (12/22 –1/20) Last week you were 27. Uptown Girls and Sin City Saggitarius, this week you are Libra.
    • January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15 Centenary Secrets Centenary Concert Wire Jan. 25, Friday Doors open @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 Robert Earl Keen Granada Theater, Dallas, TX 10:30 PM $15 and up Billy Bob’s Texas http://www.corymorrow.com/ Ft. Worth, TX http://tickets.granadatheater. $12 GA, $18 reserved com/ordertickets.asp?p=765 http://wwww.billybobstexas.com http://www.robertearlkeen. Jan. 26, Saturday com/ James McMurtry ...watch the video http:// Jan. 25, Friday www.youtube.com/ Bone Dance, Lands of Mine, and Eves watch?v=jTW0y6kazWM Descent 8 PM 8 PM @ Harlequin Blue Moon Saloon Alley Lafayette, LA www.myspace.com/ http://www. harlequinalley jamesmcmurtry.com http://www. Jan. 25, Friday bluemoonpresents.com/ Face Plant, The Crisis, index.html The Blue Eclipse 10 PM @ The Jan. 26, Saturyday Warehouse And, Wellington, Silver City www.myspace. Skyline, Amateur Hour, and com/ Triumphant Return theriversidewarehouse 7 PM @ Harlequin Alley In order to participate, take a postcard and tell your secret anonymously. www.myspace.com/harlequinalley Send the card to campus box #786 or slip it under the Conglomerate Jan. 26, Saturday Office door on the third floor of the SUB. Cory Morrow A Day with Christ by Chris Christ
    • January 25, 2008 0 Volume 84, Issue 15 Satire: The Conglomerate presents criteria for choosing a commencement speaker at Centenary Amanda Russell Because no one has ever heard of for Centenary! The 1997 and 2003 example, NASA administrator Daniel Staff Writer you! commencement speakers were both Goldin spoke in 1997, 28 years after 2. Be an obscure Methodist NPR correspondents. I see a pattern Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. Upon hearing that J.K. Rowling minister. First of all, as a developing. After all, KSCL did host Did Goldin go to the moon? Did he will speak at Harvard University’s commencement speaker your job is “Philosophy Talk” last semester… bring moon rocks to the Gold Dome? Commencement, my initial thoughts to bring money into the college. So 4. Be of an ethnicity other than Definitely not. Consider 2006 speaker were, “I wish someone as cool as J.K. you should not only be a speaker we white. Usually this means black, but Dr. Norman Francis, president of Rowling will speak at Centenary’s don’t have to pay (or pay very little), it can mean other things as well. Xavier University and leader of the graduation.” Last year, the director your presence should encourage Centenary has a strange dedication LA Recovery Authority. He spoke of the Center for Leadership donation. With enrollment wavering to pretending its campus is diverse. nine months after Katrina hit south Development at ACE in Washington, and freshly-graduated pissed-off The most bizarre manifestation of Louisiana. By that time, everyone D.C., spoke. In 2006 the president alumni seething, this is looking like an this was when a black student who from south Louisiana was so sick of of Xavier University spoke, and in ever-important criterion. Who better is not a member of the choir posed hearing about Katrina and no one 2000 former First Lady and wrinkly to give money to Centenary than the as a choir member during the filming doing anything about it that we all robot Barbara Bush spoke. Reviewing Methodists? This is an institution of Centenary’s commercial. I know wanted to catch the Katrina cough. the list of former commencement affiliated with the Methodist Church, Hollywood is all about “faking it until Lastly, consider former First Lady speakers encouraged me to come up after all. You also might be wondering you make it,” but there currently is a Barbara Bush. He husband was not with a list of criteria I believe “the about the obscure part. But can choir member who is half-black and President at the time and her son was powers” of Centenary use to choose you honestly name more than five half-Mexican. That is about as diverse about to steal the 2000 Presidential commencement speakers: ministers of any denomination as it gets. Why wasn’t he recruited for election. Plus, her appearance at 1. Be someone that no one without using Google? the commercial? Centenary was well before the has ever heard of. This is probably 3. Be an NPR correspondent. 5. Be ineffective. Most of premiere of “Little Bush” on Comedy the most important criterion. Most people don’t listen to NPR the commencement speakers are Central. Are you Dr. Madeline Green? Are unless they’re highly educated, what I will term “ineffective” in the With these criteria in mind, you Scott Simon? Are you Daniel bored, or high. Some of the students sense that by the time they come Centenary should be in for a real treat Goldin? If so, you are a candidate here probably don’t even know to Centenary, if they were famous come May 2008! for commencement speaker! Why? what NPR is. But that’s no problem their star has drastically fallen. For Attention Sudoku We regret to inform all of our readers that in May of 2007 Nick Rougely graduated from Centenary. e former Conglomerate satirist has moved on to greener pastures. On this note, we regrettably cannot “bring back Nick” despite how often and passionately you, the readers, beg us to do so. e Conglomerate staff appreciates that you enjoyed Nick’s witty articles, and surely so does he. Just to make it absolutely clear, Nick Rougely graduated, he is not coming back, get over it. “Manipulating the judicial system to win an election is so un-American!” - Tracy Turnblad in “Hairspray” the musical