The
Conglomerate
January 25, 2008 Centenary College of Louisiana’s Weekly Independent Press Volume 84, Issue 15
Comedian Craig Robinson from “The Office” to entertain students
Versha Sharma
Editor-in-Chief
Students who stopped
INSIDE
by the Whited Room on
Wednesday were privy to Centenary
just a taste of what can be celebrates Martin
expected this Saturday when Luther King, Jr.
comedian and actor Craig Day, read more on
Robinson visits Centenary.
Student organization
page 4
Fighting Squirrels
Productions provided the Presidential
golden combination of candidate Ron Paul
Cane’s chicken and episodes
of “The Office” to encourage
visits Shreveport,
students to attend this page 6.
Saturday’s event, featuring
the actor who plays the Investigation of
entertainingly droll Darryl
Heath Ledger’s
Philbin on the show.
“A lot of students death continues on
who came to [Wednesday’s page 11
event] told us that this
was a good idea and that
they loved ‘The Office,’” this year to give us more name
said Naana Frezel, senior recognition,” said Senior
and President of Fighting Frezel. “The more tickets
Squirrels. we sell, the more money we
Tickets and Marketing have for an awesome spring
Co-Chair Mary Walter said, concert.”
“We chose Craig because Robinson will take the
we thought he appealed to stage at the Gold Dome at
about popular comedic culture, and her older sister entry into a club 7 p.m. General admission
a lot of people and we really like his
“dinkin’ flicka” is one of Darryl’s in “Knocked Up.” Jenna Fischer, who tickets are available for $10 and
humor.”
imaginative phrases, which stars as the adorable Pam Beesly on can be purchased online at www.
Indeed, it seems that Darryl has
purportedly means “that’s life” and is a “The Office,” appears with Robinson CentenaryTickets.com, from any
a transformative effect on viewers.
“black man phrase,” in his own words. in “Walk Hard” as well. Fighting Squirrels member, in
When asked what she loves about
The phrase is even more amusing Fighting Squirrels Productions the Student Life Office, or at the
the show and the character, senior
when Steve Carell’s character Michael was formed just a few years ago door. The student members are
Jennifer Majchrowicz spouted
starts repeating it back to him. to provide entertainment for the aforementioned Frezel and
amusing phrases that do not make
He has played parts in various the Centenary and Shreveport Walter, Vice President Liz Tomsula,
sense to any but fans of the show.
other popular comedy shows communities. Their first event was Production Chair Mary Ham, Venue
“Bippity boppity! ‘The Office’ is by
on television, like “Curb Your with comedian and actor Hal Sparks, Chair Saul Castaneda, Hospitality
far the funniest show on television,”
Enthusiasm,” “Arrested Development,” and since then, they have organized an Chair Tracy Gilbeau, Fundraising
she said. “Craig Robinson adds the
and “The Bernie Mac Show.” Robinson annual spring concert with bands like Chair Cory Shadd, and Tickets and
perfect amount of comedy with
has also made a name for himself on Better Than Ezra and The Terms. The Marketing Co-Chair Jessica Pfanner.
Darryl, from his fake phrases to
the silver screen with starring roles in group still plans to do a concert this Slices of Pieworks pizza will also be
Michael to his relationship with
“Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” spring and urges students to attend available at the event for just $1.
Kelly. Plus, his roles in ‘Knocked Up’
and “Daddy’s Little Girls.” He fills a the Robinson event this Saturday to For more information, call 318-
and other movies give it that extra
fun role as an honest bouncer who help them raise more money. 869-5117 or email fsp@centenary.
something! Dinkin’ flicka!”
denies a pregnant Katherine Heigl “We wanted to do two events edu
For those less knowledgeable

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
Letter from the editor: I hate headlines, but I love Heath
Versha Sharma events in the world. All I can say is Bahamas), and I don’t even want to You may ridicule me or just wonder
Editor-in-Chief that the news is the worst and most think what watching Ledger play the why I devote this entire space to
penetrating when it’s so unexpected. Joker “The Dark Knight” is going to Ledger, but much of the Centenary
I can’t explain why the death of Chatting online to a friend, I was be like. community was just as surprised
a celebrity, one whom we’ve never sure she had to be making some sort The thing about Heath is that he as any other when they heard the
met or properly known, can affect of cruel mistake when she suddenly was young (28), and looked up to, and news on Tuesday afternoon. Just at
people in almost tangible ways. Some said, “Dude, is Heath Ledger dead?” I yes, even fantasized over – and he was Sunday’s Conglomerate meeting, we
people will look to the supposed was transported to nearly seven years one of those few and rare celebrities were discussing our favorite movies
superficiality of my generation, and ago, when I was chatting online to my that one would think would be a as preteens, which morphed into the
shake their heads at the fact that cousin (incidentally, the boyfriend normal guy if you ever had the chance question of the week, and Ledger was
we appear to be more shaken by of the girl I just quoted), and he to hang out with him. He had a few certainly a star. It may seem odd, but
the death of Heath Ledger than the seemingly randomly said, “Is Aaliyah altercations with paparazzi, sure, but we grew up with “10 Things I Hate
report that 5 million people have died dead?” he never ran rampant in the tabloids About You” and “A Knight’s Tale” –
in the conflict in the Congo. But the It’s weird – we’re not supposed with stories of drugs and orgies and those kinds of movies are just as much
two things aren’t really comparable; to be naïve enough to believe that more drugs and endangering his baby a part of our childhood/teenage lives
both are tragic in drastically different these people will live forever. We’re like, say, Britney Spears is currently as the books we read repeatedly and
ways, and the more cynical generally not supposed to be naïve enough so famous for doing. the songs that we memorized.
give celebrities less credit than they to believe that everybody our age, In fact, Ledger reportedly loved Maybe it’s not even personal.
deserve by virtue of that label (never unknown or huge celebrity, will live being a dad (he is survived by his two- Maybe it’s just the jolting realization
mind the fact that the media directs to the ripe old age of 90 and have year-old daughter, whose mother is that there are some truths to certain
our attention to “what’s important” 90 grandkids – but it happens. And fellow actress Michelle Williams) overly employed maxims and clichés,
by reporting more on one story than even if these people are most famous – just another thing to add to his and that we have to face it – in this
another). for just being part of popular culture, normal guy resume. Quite apart case, Ledger’s death represents the
I know some people won’t it does realign your train of thought; from his own personality, he starred sad and tragic truth that life often is
understand; it’s not that this matters listening to an Aaliyah song is never in many beloved movies (many times too short.
more or is any more tragic than other quite the same (she was only 22 as the beloved protagonist), most of
when she died in a plane crash in the which are adored by my generation.
Question
of the Week
What is your favorite “Mean Girls.” “10 Things I
Preteen movie? -Nicole Turner, Hate About You.”
Junior - Marissa Teauseau
Sophomore
“Princess Diaries.” “Charlie’s Angels.” “Dumb & Dumber.” “Mighty Ducks 1,2, & 3.”
-Jennifer Martin, -Suneera Kompelli, -Jason Kay, -Brandi Andrews,
Senior Sophomore Junior Junior

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
Editorials Centenary
Conglomerate
Staff
Ten ways to go green for the new year
Versha Sharma
Editor-in-Chief
vsharma@centenary.edu
Megan Ottesen, Senior clothing, folders, or other unwanted to-go boxes don’t disintegrate once
Centenary Environmental items, see if someone else wants thrown away.
them or donate to Goodwill. Visit
Courtney Delaney
Association member
the T-Shirt Surgery Livejournal 9. Replace plastic and paper Layout Editor
Many of us have already (community.livejournal.com/t_shirt_ bags from stores with a cloth cdelaney@centenary.edu
broken our New Year’s resolutions to surgery) to discover fun ways to reuse shopping bag. Target currently sells
exercise daily, drink less caffeine, and clothing! $1 “green” shopping bags that fold Rhagen Russell
eat healthy. While those are admirable and zip up to fit in purses. Copy Editor
personal goals, this can be the year to 6. Always try to carpool or look
rrussell@centenary.edu
think beyond ourselves and resolve to into biking. 10. To conserve water,
help the planet as a whole. By “going turn off the tap while brushing teeth
green” for the New Year, we can easily 7. Print double-sided in the and shaving. Stephanie Schreiber
become more sustainable and reduce library. When buying a new printer, Features Editor
our expenses both during and after In addition to those small, sschreib@centenary.edu
college. The following suggestions sustainable measures that we can
will help make this an eco-friendly incorporate into our daily lives, the Todd Johnson
year: upcoming fundraiser called Chains
A & E Editor
for Change will allow students
and faculty to positively impact
trjohnso@centenary.edu
1. Turn off the lights before
leaving rooms and hallways. Centenary’s campus. To purchase
four solar panels for Centenary’s Michael Jarboe
2. Eliminate phantom loads library roof, the Centenary Sports Editor
by unplugging cell phone chargers Environmental Association (CEA) mjarboe@centenary.edu
and computers at night and during and the newly “green” Chemistry
class. A “phantom load” refers to Club will collect money throughout
Emily DeLatin
energy wasted by electronics when the semester. A little pocket money
from each student will go a long way
Mindy McKoin
they are plugged in but not used. An
easy way to do this is to purchase a for an excellent sustainable addition Photographers
single power strip in which to plug to Centenary! Any questions about
electronics and then turn off when the fundraiser or how to be more Carly Carpenter
you’re done with them. make sure it features double-sided environmentally friendly can be Business Manager
printing. directed to CEA faculty advisor Dr.
3. Use Centenary’s recycling Jeanne Hamming at jhamming@
Kari Patterson
program (mixed paper, aluminum 8. Take less food to-go from centenary.edu.
the Caf. Those styrofoam cups and
Circulation Manager
cans, and newspaper), but do not
recycle items with food on them!
The Centenary Environmental Copyright © 2008
Association (CEA) also collects old
Call for Assistant Copy Editor
printer cartridges and cell phones. The Conglomerate is
Recyclables can be placed in the
large collection bin behind James or
an independent student
dropped off in resident hall lobbies publication, and does
or the SUB for the CEA’s weekly
Conglomerate is looking for an Assistant Copy Editor. This job not reflect the opinions
collection. of Centenary College of
requires massive and specific knowledge of the English Louisiana.
4. Avoid single use items.
Instead, purchase reusable tableware language, rules of grammar, spelling, and newspaper copy
Contact:
and dishtowels, and use a Brita water
filter or Nalgene bottle. Ridding your
guidelines (rules for headlines, captions, etc.). The Copy Editor paper@centenary.edu
life of paper plates, plastic cups, is in charge of editing all articles before they go in the Phone: 318-869-5269
paper towels, and plastic bottles will
prevent waste and save money!
Conglomerate, as well as all headlines and captions. If you're
The Conglomerate
interested, please contact us by email at paper@centenary.edu 2911 Centenary Blvd.
5. Before throwing away

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
Campus/Local News
Centenary grants big bucks to new students
Charles Eddy Darrell Colson said in an interview whether or not they were Pell Dream program comes as Centenary
Staff Writer published by the Centenary News eligible. This is because it’s difficult to celebrates 100 years in Shreveport.
Service, “This is part of Centenary’s determine Pell eligibility before filling Centenary President Kenneth L.
Students attending Centenary ongoing commitment to make out the FAFSA, and the qualifications Schwab said, “While the College now
for the first time in 2008 will have college affordable for students and are rather hazy. serves students from 36 states and
another form of financial aid to help their families, and why Centenary “There’s not a limit,” said Rix. 14 countries, we are pleased that the
out with the rising costs of education. previously launched CAP (Centenary “I can tell you [about] a family that Louisiana Live Your Dream program
The newly announced Louisiana Live Affordability Program) and the has two people—a mother and a means we will open our doors
Your Dream aid program will be Campaign for Scholarships.” daughter—a single parent, who even wider to our own Louisiana
available to new first year students Crowley and Mary Sue makes $19,000 dollars a year. They students.”
eligible for federal Pell Grants, and Rix, Director of Financial Aid at were eligible for absolutely no federal Said Crowley, “We’ve mailed
can be renewed for four years based Centenary, noted that Colson was the funds. I can tell you [about] another out to every principle and every
on eligibility for the grants. originator of the program. family . . . that made $58,000; they counselor in the state a letter and
The program will complete the The program is new, but in a had four children, all in college, and a poster describing the program,
cost of tuition after all aid is applied sense it has been available all along. they were all eligible for Pell. So, along with postcards to hand out to
to a student’s account. Tim Crowley, Said Crowley, “. . . When we started it’s very hard to say that you can’t students. We’re also working with the
Director of Admissions at Centenary, thinking about this and looking at get it because your income is more Office of Church Relations to do the
said, “If you took this school year right this, obviously we looked at current than a certain amount.” According same thing with youth pastors. The
now, tuition and fees—remember students and past applicants, and to her, Pell eligibility derives from a thing is, I couldn’t call up students
we’re not talking the whole ride—it’s we found that this isn’t a program lot of reasons, including income and to ask if they’re Pell eligible, but
$20, 950 dollars, for a student here that’s really costing the college a lot number of dependents. there are principles, counselors and
right now. Let’s say they bring in of money. In many ways, it’s just Said Rix, “The Pell eligibility and pastors who might know better than
federal funds totaling $5,000 dollars, repackaging, because you know funds are the same whether a student me—for example, if they’re on a lunch
and the state money they bring in all of the money from the federal attends Notre Dame or Purdue or any program.”
is $6,000 dollars. So, $20,950 minus government, all the money from the other school.” The important fact stands
$11,000 dollars leaves a balance state government, and all the college Crowley added that, “There’s that the word is out. With luck, Pell
of $9,950 dollars. If that student aid is going to take care of the cost; not a magical income level . . . you eligible and non-Pell eligible students
received from me, from the get-go, we may have done this in the past, but can’t say [that] if you earn this much, will look at Centenary because of its
a President’s Scholarship of 10,000, it’s just a way of repackaging it under you can’t get Pell.” But, said Rix, “I impressive aid package, which puts
it’s done. I mean, if a President’s the title of Live Your Dream.” will say that if you make $1,000,000 our college in the right direction. The
Scholarship covers it, they’re done. Both Crowley and Rix dollars, you’re probably not going to Louisiana Live Your Dream program
So [for] many students, their actual mentioned that there was already be eligible. I will go out on a limb for is just another improvement that
scholarship will cover that.” some positive response from some that, but I won’t even say $100,000 should keep us on the right track.
Centenary Provost Dr. new students and parents, but also dollars anymore.”
said that most wouldn’t yet know The Louisiana Live Your
The College remembers
Martin Luther King, Jr. at
convocation
On January 21, 2008 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s
legacy was celebrated here at Centenary. As the Minority
Student Advisor for the Minority Student Association I
would like to say thank you to all who attend the services
at Brown Chapel. We are truly grateful to Dean Bradshaw
and Student Life for their active roles in this year’s
celebration.
Minnie Jenkins
Pictured: The Union Springs Baptist Church Youth Ensemble
“Pebbles of Faith” performed a liturgical dance to “Matthew 28” in
Brown Chapel on Monday. Also at the event, Provost Dr. Darrel
Colson and Reverend Doyle R. Adams, Sr., delivered moving
speeches. Adams is the pastor of Benton’s Elizabeth Baptist
Church. Centenary Senior Nolan Budgewater sang “Blessed
Assurance” a cappella. Photo by Emily DeLatin.

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
Resident Assistants volunteer at the Food Bank
RAs volunteered at the Northwest Louisiana Food Bank on Monday, January 21st from 11 to 1. Photos by Mindy McKoin.
National News
J. K. Rowling to speak at Harvard STUDENTS, FACULTY
commencement AND STAFF MAKE
Amanda Russell President and noted historian Drew YOUR NOMINATIONS!
Staff Writer G. Faust lauded J.K. Rowling, saying,
“Perhaps no one in our time has done
Saying goodbye is never easy. more than Rowling to inspire young The seventh annual President's Excellence Award will
This past year, I’ve had to say goodbye people to experience the excitement be presented February 2008. This award recognizes
to an important part of my fictional and the sheer joy of reading.” The the superior service of an outstanding
reading life: Harry Potter and the “Crimson” notes that Rowling’s Centenary College staff member and will be
wizarding world. Fortunately for appearance makes up for the fact that consistent with the Outstanding Teacher Award.
Potter fans, the release of Book 7 was Harry was never able to return to
not the end. J.K. Rowling released Hogwarts as a student for his seventh
year. The Harvard community has Guidelines for nominations:
“The Tales of Beedle the Bard” and
confirmed rumors of possibly writing many devotees. The night the last
an eighth Harry Potter book that book in the series, “Harry Potter and 1. Candidates must be currently employed as regu-
will focus on obscure characters the Deathly Hallows,” was released, lar fulltime and part time administrators or support
and other aspects of the wizarding Harvard Square opened for a staff, as of January 1, 2008.
world that did not receive much nightlong celebration. Thousands of
attention in the series. Fans have fans flocked to the campus festival to
2. Candidates must have worked at Centenary, as a
two more movies to look forward sport their best wizard costumes and
enjoy live Wizard Rock performances regular fulltime orpart time administrator or support
to as well as fun revelations such as
the announcement that Dumbledore by bands such as Harry and the staff member, for at least two years as
“bats for the other team.” And who Potters. The popularity of the novels of January 1, 2008 to be eligible for this honor.
can hardly wait for the Harry Potter is not surprising: over 375 million
theme park, slated to open in Florida copies have been sold worldwide. 3. We are looking for the employee who goes above
as early as December 2009? The books are available in over 65 and beyond their job description. The one you can
As a senior at Centenary, languages and in 200 countries! As
count on to assist where needed and extends
graduation is not the end, either. If I commencement speaker, Rowling
will receive an honorary degree from that extra effort for the benefit of the Centenary
attended Harvard University, I would
be in for an extra treat because the Harvard. For the majority of Muggles community.
magical mistress herself is slated to (non-magic folk) unable to attend the
speak at Harvard’s commencement ceremony, never fear. Harvard will
exercises on June 5, according to make a video clip of Rowling’s speech
the “Harvard Crimson.” Harvard available on its website.

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
Presidential election 2008
Republicans News in brief:
and Democrats Quotes of the Week
“I kind of like seeing Barack and
Ron Paul
still battle for campaigns in
Hillary fight. They’re flesh-and-
nomination among
their parties
blood people and they have their Shreveport,
differences - let’ em at it.”
Beth Craft – Bill Clinton
Fred Thompson
Staff Writer
drops out of
Despite Senator John McCain’s
victory in South Carolina on Saturday, Republican race
January 19, the Republicans’ race
Versha Sharma
for the presidential nomination
continues to heat up. McCain won Editor-in-Chief
New Hampshire as well, making him
the only Republican candidate to win Republican candidate Ron Paul
more than one primary. CNN reports made a campaign stop in Shreveport
that McCain took 40% of the non- on Monday. He spoke to supporters
evangelical vote, but failed to capture at the Holiday Inn Financial Plaza
more “very conservative” votes than downtown about health care, tax
Mike Huckabee and Fred Thompson. reform, the economy, and the
Huckabee came in second, Thompson ongoing war in Iraq. Paul has a huge
claimed third, and Mitt Romney took Internet following but has made small
fourth. waves in the media; still, he finished
Hilary Clinton won Nevada on second in the Nevada caucuses last
Saturday, adding momentum to her week, just after Mitt Romney. Paul
victory in New Hampshire; however, spoke of this at his Shreveport stop,
she still falls short of Barack Obama according to The Shreveport Times.
in delegate votes. Edwards came in “Though we may not be exactly
third in Nevada with only 4% of the satisfied with the national coverage,
vote, leaving Obama to collect 45%- there is a political equalizer called the
-only 6% shy of Clinton’s 51%. With Internet,” he said. Shreveport was
Clinton and Obama neck-and-neck the first of three campaign stops Paul
with delegate votes, the coming “I got made in Louisiana (Baton Rouge and
New Orleans followed). Republicans
South Carolina primary, which is set
for Saturday, January 26, will be an
my voted on Tuesday in state caucuses
important win. butt to decide the delegates to the 2008
Louisiana Republican Convention.
As for the Republican vote in
Nevada, more than half the state kicked. Former Senator Fred
elected Mitt Romney. The rest of the You know, ‘what “Could I Thompson has ended his run for
the White House. After finishing
votes were split between Ron Paul,
McCain, Huckabee, and Thompson. happens in just mess your in third place in South Carolina’s
Republican primary last Saturday,
Paul took 14%, edging out McCain
Vegas stays in hair up a little he released a statement on Tuesday
and his 13%. Huckabee and Thompson
both left with 8%. Vegas?’ I hope bit?” –David saying he withdrew his candidacy for
President. Thompson was elected
Florida will hold its primaries on
Tuesday, January 29. The Associated that turns out Letterman to as a Senator from Tennessee in 1994
Press reports details for this primary. to be true in this John Edwards, and served for eight years before
going on to become a star of popular
Because Florida broke party rules
by moving up its primary, it lost case.” who gained criminal-legal drama “Law & Order.”
In other primaries, he did not fare as
half of its Republican delegates and
- Democratic notoriety for his well: he finished third in Iowa, fifth
all of its Democratic ones, leaving
only 57 GOP delegates at stake. hopeful John $400 haircuts in Michigan and Nevada, and sixth
in New Hampshire. Thompson’s
Polls show Clinton boasting a “wide (Edwards did allow
lead” over Obama and Edwards, but Edwards on his him to mess it up)
withdrawal leaves five candidates in
the Republican race: John McCain,
the Republicans are still undecided,
providing plenty of competition for
result in the Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Ron
the candidates. Nevada primary Paul, and Rudy Giuliani.

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
INTERNATIONAL POLITICS
Castro faces The new year already promises U.S. tensions with Iran
an uncertain Charles Eddy
Staff Writer
the shore or from the boats. Olmert said, “All options that prevent
This occurred just prior to Iran from gaining nuclear capabilities
President George W. Bush’s tour are legitimate within the context
future in Cuba January 6, year’s conflictPentagon of the Middle East.9, Speaking“We of how atofairly clearwith this matter.”
The
when the
began
Jerusalem on January he said,
in
This is
grapple
declaration that
released a grainy video of Iranian have made it very clear, and they he is willing to use military action
Kari Patterson
speedboats quickly approaching know our position, and that is: There to ensure that Iran doesn’t develop
Staff Writer will be serious consequences if they nuclear weapons. The statement can’t
U.S. ships in international waters,
supposedly threatening them via attack our ships. My advice to them be taken lightly, considering the fact
Fidel Castro, 81, may finally be is: Don’t do it.” that Israel bombed an unfinished
radio communications. U.S. officials
stepping down as the President of National Security Advisor Iraqi nuclear reactor in 1981. The
noted that there were no shots fired.
Cuba. Castro, who has been Cuba’s Stephen Hadley also said, “It’s the kind reactor was later destroyed in the
In the video a navy crew member
leader since 1959, was forced to of incident that can provoke exchange 1991 Gulf War.
says, “This is coalition warship. I
cede acting presidential duties to of fire, and we think the Iranians need Iranian President Mahmoud
am engaged in transit passage in
his brother, Raul, in 2006 due to to be on notice that they are fishing Ahmadinejad also said recently, “The
accordance with international law. I
emergency intestinal surgery. in troubled waters here . . . this is a Zionist regime [Israel] . . . would not
intend no harm. Over.”
While Brazilian President Luiz provocative
The boats do not stop their
Inacio Lula da Silva agrees with the act, not a
approach, and a heavily accented
Cuban government in saying that smart thing
voice says, “I am coming to you.”
Castro “appears healthy enough to to do, and
From U.S. ships, a voice says,
return to politics,” Castro himself
they’re going to have dare attack Iran. The Iranian response
to take responsibility would make them regret it, and they
announced last week that he was for the consequences know this.”
not physically able to campaign in if they do it again.” It seems that tensions are
advance of Sunday’s parliamentary Bush, on January 13, said, “Iran growing ever higher, and one can only
“Inbound small craft: You are
elections. is the world’s leading state sponsor hope that war is not on the horizon;
approaching a coalition warship
In Sunday’s elections, Castro, of terror. Iran’s actions threaten the however, Bush’s efforts to “confront
operating in international waters. Your
as well as the other candidates who security of nations everywhere, so this danger before it is too late” are
identity is not known; your intentions
were running uncontested for their the United States is strengthening our hardly reassuring. Fortunately, Iran
are unclear. You may be subject to
seats in Parliament, was elected, long-standing security commitments has promised to release details on its
defensive measures. Request that
but this does not mean that Castro with our friends in the Gulf and past nuclear activities, which may help
you establish communications now
will automatically continue to be rallying friends around the world to to dispel some fears about Iran. On
or alter your course immediately to
president. Parliament will meet next confront this danger before it is too the other hand, BBC correspondent
remain clear.”
month to elect the Council of State, late.” Jon Leyne said that even if Iran does
It’s then that a heavily accented
which will then elect the President The Iran nuclear crisis hasn’t provide all the answers, this is not
voice says, “You will explode in a few
from among its numbers. quieted down, either. On January going to solve this crisis. It seems as
minutes.”
Castro could continue as Cuba’s 18, Iran received its third shipment if more conflict is on the way.
Some controversy arose when
leader despite fragile health and not of nuclear fuel from Russia. Officials All quotes are from CNN.com and bbc.
Iran released its own video, which
having appeared in public since his in Tehran said that the shipment co.uk/news.
depicted a much calmer version of
surgery 18 months ago, but the final stands as more proof that Iran is not
Pictured: left, Iranian President Mahmoud
the incident than that of the first Ahmadinejad, courtesy of iranchamber.
decision will not be announced until enriching uranium to make nuclear
video. It also isn’t certain whether the com. Right, George W. Bush, courtesy of
February 24. weapons.
accented voice that threatened U.S. johnmitchell.org.
Photo courtesy of about.com. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud
ships came from somewhere along

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
Apple unveils the MacBook Air, the ultimate ultrathin laptop
Charles Eddy it will boast a 1.6GHz Intel Core 2 mainstream success remains to be Vongo doesn’t seem like an extremely
Staff Writer Duo processor with 2GB of RAM. seen, but one thing’s certain: Apple’s profitable business. Apple’s rental
A slick 13.3-inch screen, new notebook is a thing of beauty. service is also vaguely reminiscent of
The annual full keyboard, and native The cost is currently $1,799.00. the DIVX systems of the late 1990s,
Macworld conference 802.11n support will Apple has also unveiled its new which were terrible failures. However,
didn’t bring another round out the notebook. movie rental service. Titles can be it’s always tough to judge the market;
iPhone into the world, The MacBook Air downloaded onto a PC and watched watchers can only wait to see what
but Mac has promised is extraordinary for such for up to 30 days after they’re put on consumer response will yield.
a few noteworthy a thin machine, but its the hard drive, but once a movie starts
innovations. lackluster performance playing, the renter only has 24 hours
Steve Jobs, and the omission to finish watching it. Movies will cost
Apple’s CEO, finally of several standard $2.99 per standard rental and $3.99
revealed plans for a new options—for example, an per new release rental.
ultrathin laptop called Ethernet port—will likely Apple’s success in the rental
the MacBook Air. The laptop will turn people away. Its battery, like that business is uncertain. Unlike the
weigh in at three pounds and be just of the iPhone and iPod, can also only iPhone, which was a sure hit due to
over three quarters of an inch thick. be replaced in the factory. Whether its innovative interface and brilliant
This is an impressive feat considering this will keep the MacBook Air from marketing campaign, competing with
Strange but true news: accidental twincest and a 25-year-old boomerang
Kat Michiels burglar at gunpoint felt “an inevitable attraction to one from America containing a 25-year
Staff Writer another.” The couple blindly entered old boomerang inside. Along with
After a week’s vacation, a couple into marriage, and soon thereafter, the boomerang was a note from
Parrot catches couple in the act returned to their home to find that it discovered their twin status. A judge an American who stole it from an
had been torn apart. The living room annulled the marriage. Australian museum when he was
In England, a parrot revealed was bare, except for piles of trash that What I want to know is why “younger and dumber.” Apparently,
to his owner that his girlfriend was were scattered about the first floor. they decided to check on their “twin “Peter” had been riddled with guilt
cheating on him with another man. The husband, Adrian, went upstairs status.” What exactly compelled for the past 25 years and so finally
The African Grey Parrot, named to see what damage had been done them to check out this conspiracy plucked up the courage to send it
Ziggy, tipped off his owner, Chris to the bedrooms and happened upon theory? Today’s lesson: Marrying back.
Taylor, by making kissing sounds the burglar, who was wearing Adrian’s your first cousin from Arkansas is not The museum had since closed
every time it heard the name “Gary” hat. the worst-case scenario. down, and Australian officials are
on the television or the radio. At first, Enraged (probably because now trying to locate the original
Taylor thought it was just something of the hat situation), Adrian held Boomerang returns after 25 owner of the boomerang.
he had picked up, but became more the burglar at gunpoint before even years Too bad Ziggy wasn’t around
suspicious when the parrot began calling police. Husband and wife when Peter decided to five-finger the
to say “Hiya Gary” every time his then forced the burglar to clean up An Australian Outback town boomerang. He would have been so
girlfriend’s cell phone rang. the mess he had made, putting things was shocked to find a parcel of mail busted.
Suzy Collins, the girlfriend, back in drawers and in cabinets.
confessed when the couple was When the police arrived, the
snuggling on the couch together.
Ziggy, in Collins’ voice, chirped “I
burglar complained about having to
clean up his mess at gunpoint, but Scholarship Opportunity
love you, Gary,” causing the girl to the officers laughed at him. Under
admit to having a four-month fling Alabama law, the couple could have $25,000 scholarship for deserving students who self
with coworker Gary. killed the burglar without penalty.
Although Taylor ended the
identify as being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered
relationship with Collins, he also had In London, husband plus wife provided by PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of
to give up his beloved Ziggy, who equals twins Lesbians and Gays)
continued to blurt out Gary’s name
after the break-up. Ziggy now has a They didn’t get married and For additional information, contact Dr. Joe Melcher,
new home found by a local pet store have twins. This couple fell in love, Chair of the Scholarship Committee
owner. got married, and then discovered (504) 944-6013
Ziggy and Taylor had been that they were twins. A boy and girl,
together for eight years. in an almost Hollywood fashion, (504) 520-5099
were separated at birth and adopted. Due date for applications: February 10, 2008
Montgomery couple holds Quite a few years later, they met and

January 25, 2008  Volume 84, Issue 15
Advice from Allison: On secret-keeping and maintaining friendships
Allison Cormier difficult, especially if they contain the entire campus. You can place an Dear Solitude,
Staff Writer really incriminating, juicy details ad in the Conglomerate by emailing It is very difficult to deal with a
about people that you know. Not centenaryconglomerate@gmail.com. best friend getting a new boyfriend.
The opinions and ideas expressed in this even I can resist gossip sessions with It is a small price to pay to keep a On the one hand, you sympathize
article do not in any way reflect those of anyone and everyone I meet, even if I friendship strong. because you know what it is like to
Centenary College, the Conglomerate, don’t know them. Having your most start hanging out with a new love
or the writer herself. In fact, these ideas
intimate details spilled out to your Dear Allison, interest. On the other hand, you
probably don’t express any intelligently
informed opinions anyway. entire sorority, philosophy class, and My best friend has started think that you would never abandon
Dear Allison, the men’s soccer team can be quite seeing this new guy on a regular a friend the way she’s abandoned you.
My best friend cannot keep embarrassing, and it is enough to tear basis, and I never get to see her. Last It hurts to be the odd man out. I’ve
a secret. Every time I confide in a friendship apart. The best way to semester we had every class together, found that the best way to deal with
her with personal information, she approach your friend on this subject studied together, and spent most of this situation is to get to know your
immediately turns around and tells is to talk to her privately about it. Let our free time together. Now that we friend’s new guy. Becoming friends
everyone. I really don’t want this her know how this situation makes don’t have any of the same classes, I with your friend’s significant other
problem to ruin our friendship, but you feel. If your friend is truly your don’t get to see her on a regular basis will guarantee you more time spent
I don’t know how to approach her best friend, then she will understand and she seems to be spending the with your best friend. Ask this new
about it. I don’t think she realizes that and hopefully begin to work on her majority of her free time with this guy out for dinner and a movie, just
she’s doing anything wrong. case of gossip diarrhea. To make sure new guy. How can I let her know that the two of you. Really, really get to
Sophomore Secrets that your friend really understands I miss spending time with her and know this guy. Take him back to your
the seriousness of this issue, take out would like to find some time to hang place and see what happens. I think
Dear Secrets, a full page ad in the Conglomerate out? your best friend will get the hint
Keeping secrets can be very and spill all of your friend’s secrets to Senior Solitude eventually.
College Night has moved!
To Pieworks on Pierremont
in Towne Oaks Square
next to Superior Steakhouse
Every Friday from 5 until close.
get a medium 1 topping pizza for only $5.00,
2 for 1 Wine, Well, and Draft
$4.00 Domestic pitchers, $5.00 Import Pitchers

January 25, 2008 10 Volume 84, Issue 15
New Hoodlum Circus album
A
evokes sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll
Man,” begins.
Its throbbing,
humming intro
&E
easily lulls the
listener into a
false sense of
security before
exploding
into a blunt
force stomp
that brings to
mind images of
dirty sex in an
alleyway behind
a dumpster
or one-night-
stands that leave
you reeking of
cigarettes and
Micah Harold cheap perfume.
Guest Contributor Lyrically, it smacks of 1950s “beat”
with a kind of twisted poetry one
Micah Harold is a Shreveport Times could only hope to find (if one were
featured artist. He practices tattooing so lucky) scribbled on the walls of a
at Third Eye Tattoo (formerly Modern truck stop restroom.
Primitives) on Kings Highway next to “Barnburner,” the seemingly
campus, which he co-owns.
Celebrating Mardi Gras at Centenary
out-of-place third track, is the band’s
declaration of independence. It’s a
Following in the footsteps of
rollicking exercise in artistic license
musical greats like Iggy Pop, Lou Reed,
that shuns the complacency of modern
Believe it or not, Mardi Gras is a few short weeks away and Black Flag and the Dead Kennedys,
music through a vituperate mix of
The Hoodlum Circus takes the sound
we are gearing up for the Highland Parade and Centenary's a step further by way of their new
traditional country chords, punk
Annual Family Zone Party on Jones-Rice Field. rhythms and yowling vocals. The song
EP, an aural barrage of sex, drugs
delivers an in-your-face idea of what it
and rock ‘n roll called “Fuck Y’all.”
would be like to beat Hank Williams,
Mark your calendars for Sunday, February 3rd from Noon - As one would expect, “Fuck
Tom Waits, and a fifth of whiskey
4 if you want to join in the fun on campus. It's a great place Y’all” delivers, with sounds that
together with a pair of boxing gloves.
to be when the parade rolls by. scream at the listener like the ravings
Lastly, but certainly not
of a mad Baptist preacher backed by a
least, is “Akira,” a tirade of seemingly
disgruntled choir. Make no mistake; all
Interested in riding on the Centenary oat? A few spots are involved parties speak for themselves.
drunken ramblings only half masked
still open. For more information, contact Alumni Chapter by the song’s smart lyrics. There is an
The opening eight chords of
intelligence at work somewhere back
President Angie White '93 at angelalynnwhite@comcast.net “Vegas” set the tone. The song strips
there. “Akira” wraps up the EP on a
you naked and throws you into a chaotic
hard note, assuring listeners that The
Have any beads and/or other throws to contribute to the land of Nod, clutched in the grasps
Hoodlum Circus leaves no picket-
oat? Please bring them to the Alumni Relations O ce in of a delirious, experimental diatribe
line left uncrossed, no musical bridge
that promises to push back twice
2910 Centenary Blvd. as hard. It doesn’t take long for the
left unburned, no genre left undefiled
We'd love to have whatever you can spare. and no soul left behind to question
listener to quickly realize that it’s not
the type of weirdness their collective
just the vocals on a rant, but the band
Need more details about the day? creativity is capable of producing.
itself, hell bent on exacting a carefully
Hoodlum Circus members
Contact Carla at calsando@centenary.edu orchestrated attack on the senses by
John Cassaro and Camille Gladney
way of their bumping bass, violent
attend Centenary. You can find the
percussion and grinding guitars.
band online at www.myspace.com/
As soon as the first track
hoodlumcircus.
ends, the second track, “Brave

January 25, 2008 11 Volume 84, Issue 15
Untimely death of actor Heath Ledger shocks the public
Versha Sharma Ledger’s father, mother, and sister were responding to a cardiac arrest mass-murdering, schizophrenic
Editor-in-Chief made their statements to reporters in call at the apartment. clown with zero empathy,” according
Perth, Australia, where he was born. The media has jumped on his to CNN.com. What most media
Actor Heath Ledger, 28 years After Wednesday’s autopsy, a portrayal of The Joker in “The Dark pundits have highlighted, however,
old, was found dead in a Manhattan is the suggestion that he was on
apartment on Tuesday afternoon. An prescription sleeping pills in order to
autopsy conducted on Wednesday overcome the problem – he told the
yielded inconclusive results. Associated Press that they were not
In the news surrounding his helping.
death – which was broken barely an Ledger became a teen star after
hour after he passed away – many his breakout role in 1999’s “10 Things I
contradictory reports emerged. First, Hate About You,” the modern take on
it was reported that sleeping pills were Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew”
scattered around his unconscious in which he co-stars with Julia Stiles.
body, which later proved to be false. After the success of that film, however,
Then it was reported by The New Ledger spent a year rejecting more
York Times that the apartment offers for teen romantic comedies,
Ledger was in was owned/inhabited unwilling to be typecast. He grasped
by Mary-Kate Olsen, which also later the chance to be in the serious period
turned out to be false. However, news drama “The Patriot” in 2000, in which
reports that broke early on Thursday he plays Mel Gibson’s son and shows
morning quoting a detailed police his real talent at acting. After that
report said that the massage therapist came a starring role in “A Knight’s
who found Ledger made her first call Tale” and a dark supporting role in
to Mary-Kate – before even calling “Monster’s Ball,” as well as turns in
the paramedics. “The Four Feathers,” “Ned Kelly,” and
The facts, according to the “The Order” through 2003, and the
police, are that Ledger was found lead role in “Casanova” in 2005.
face down and unconscious in his spokeswoman K n i g h t ,” Perhaps his most notable role
bed when his masseuse attempted for a medical the sequel – certainly what seems to be his most
to rouse him for an appointment. examiner said to “Batman remembered – is that of Ennis Del
Prescription medicine, including that “a cause- B e g i n s ,” Mar in 2005’s “Brokeback Mountain,”
sleeping pills, was found on the of-death which is in which he plays the tortured, lone
bedside table, and a rolled-up $20 determination slated for cowboy with conflicting feelings
bill was tested for drug residue – and will take 10 release this about his homosexuality opposite
came back negative. According to AP to 14 days.” July. While Jake Gyllenhaal. He received an Oscar
reports, authorities found six types of Still, President fellow actor nod for Best Actor for the movie and
prescription drugs in the apartment, Bush cancelled and Batman won the Australian Film Institute’s
including some to treat insomnia and an event star Michael International Award for the same.
anxiety, as well as an antihistamine. scheduled for Caine has His quietly moving performance of
Three of the prescriptions came from the launch of a said that Ennis was deeply resonant with many
Europe; Ledger had been filming in public-service Ledger made viewers, even leading the Gay and
London just weeks previously. ad campaign the character Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation
Massage therapist Diana about the f r i g hte n i n g to state that it “changed hearts and
Wolozin told police that she knew dangers of a n d minds in immeasurable ways.”
Olsen and Ledger were friends, and pre s cr iption Christopher Ledger was filming “The
called her from his cell phone to ask drug abuse. Nolan cited Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”
for advice on what to do next. Olsen, White House how deeply at the time of his death, his second
who was in California at the time, spokeswoman he went into film with Terry Gilliam after “The
reportedly said she would send over Dana Perino the role, Brothers Grimm.”
private security guards (who later told CNN that Bush did not want the press has repeatedly quoted an He is survived by his two-year-
arrived at about the same time as the to “run the risk of anyone thinking interview Ledger did with The New old daughter, Matilda Rose. Her
paramedics). that we were being opportunistic York Times in which he spoke about mother is Ledger’s former fiancé
Police also stated that they in highlighting the issue.” Again, no how the character was affecting him. actress Michelle Williams.
did not suspect foul play and found definitive cause of death has been He said he slept an average
no note that could indicate suicide. stated, but the police are calling it of two hours a night one week Top photo from Rolling Stone,
According to CNN.com, Ledger’s a “possible drug overdose.” Early because he “couldn’t stop thinking” bottom photo from Publishers’
family stated that his death was “very reports about Ledger’s death said about The Joker, a character who Weekly.
tragic, untimely and accidental.” that emergency medical personnel he described as a “psychopathic,

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
MOVIE TIMES
“27 Dresses” provides comedy without clichés Select times at Tinseltown
on Friday, Saturday, and
Versha Sharma turn as the plucky Casey in this talent. Whether it’s the actors or the Sunday
Editor-in-Chief film provides some of the most characters who are flat in this case
entertaining moments – not least of is hard to tell, but they don’t really
“27 Dresses” achieves that ideal which is when she literally has to slap detract from the movie – they just “27 Dresses”
feat so rare for a romantic comedy:
a running time of one hour and 47
Jane back into reality.
Jane and Kevin/Malcolm Doyle
don’t contribute to it much.
The only other negative aspect
1:40, 4:25, 7:05, 9:40
minutes and a distinct lack of corny (James Marsden of “Hairspray” and of this movie is its predictability. You
moments, all the while providing real “Enchanted”) have great chemistry as won’t know the entire map of the
laugh-out-loud moments. an on-screen couple; their interaction movie after watching the first five
“Cloverfield”
Now, the amount of corny is flirtatious, entertaining, and enviable minutes, but the seasoned viewer of 2:20, 3:30, 4:40, 5:50,
moments may be up for debate enough that the two cringeworthy romantic comedies will certainly be
depending upon the viewer’s level moments I did count did not detract able to see drama coming around the
7:00, 8:10, 9:20, 10:30
of testosterone (indeed, the two red- from my overall enjoyment. Jane corner in certain parts.
blooded males watching it with us is the adorable protagonist who has Still, it’s original enough to
termed the movie “okay” in contrast been a bridesmaid 27 times, both stand apart from others in its genre.
“The Great Debaters”
to my sister’s and my opinion of “let’s because of her inability to say no and One noteworthy scene centers (filmed in Shreveport
watch it again – right now!”), but her old-school romantic beliefs in the around the classic song “Bennie and
it’s still significantly less than most importance of love. Kevin is 100% the Jets.” Suffice it to say that the cost
and Mansfield,
run-of-the-mill romantic comedies. her foil, a cynic who’s been burned of your movie ticket is worth just Louisiana)
I enjoy my “How to Lose a Guy in by his own fiasco of a wedding in the this one part, which will have you
10 Days” and “Never Been Kissed” past, doomed to writing wedding giggling nonstop, enjoying Elton John 8:15
as much as the next softie, but they announcements only because his like never before, and possibly even
definitely contain cringeworthy editor firmly keeps him there. singing along.
moments. My favorite part of “27 Marsden has shown his talent It’s well-written, witty, funny, New in theaters this
Dresses,” besides the real hilarity and versatility over the years, from and charming – forget your significant weekend:
it offers, was the fact that it didn’t the brooding Cyclops in the “X- other (or your potential future one);
have me sitting in the cinema feeling Men” trilogy to the handsome and this movie provides the perfect date. “Meet the Spartans”
awkward. Example: Kate Hudson’s understandably popular Corny “Rambo”
“You’re So Vain” performance in Collins who stands up for
“How to Lose a Guy…” and every minorities in “Hairspray” to “Untraceable”
other emotional, tearful speech by the goofy, dashing prince “How She Move”
Drew Barrymore in “Never Been in “Enchanted.” Kevin’s
Kissed” constitute acting that cannot persistent pursuit of Jane “Michael Clayton” (re-
be tolerated, no matter how dreamy borders on being a creepy release)
Matthew McConaughey or Michael stalker, but he is just shy of
Vartan is. the line – as one “27 Dresses”-
Jane (Katherine Heigl of lovin’ fan said, “If that was Top 10 at the
“Grey’s Anatomy” or “Knocked Up”), almost any other guy, he would
however, is virtually never annoying or have a restraining order. But Box Office:
embarrassing, a real accomplishment he was just so cute!” Physical
in itself because her character of Izzie appeal aside (and Marsden is
1. “Cloverfield”
on “Grey’s” is a source of great and appealing, with his deep blue 2. “27 Dresses”
constant personal irritation. Her eyes and his unforgettable
evolution as a character over the smile), it is his acting that
3. “The Bucket List”
course of the movie is convincing, makes him “so cute!” Here, he 4. “Juno”
because she learns lessons the difficult proves his worth as a leading
way and actually and visibly changes. man, one who is alternately
5. “National Treasure:
Unsurprisingly, the endearing Jane charming and funny as well Book of Secrets”
– though sometimes frustratingly as believably hurting from
spineless in the first half of the film past pain.
6. “First Sunday”
– has everyone rooting for her happy The supporting 7. “Alvin and the
ending. characters of Tess, Jane’s
Judy Greer fills her usual role younger, blonde sister who Chipmunks”
as the close friend of the damsel in gets engaged in about five 8. “Mad Money”
distress, but her acting is memorable seconds flat, and George,
and refreshing this time around. Jane’s stud of a boss who (filmed in Shreveport)
Though she has filled the shoes of commands her attention, 9. “I Am Legend”
the bitchier and thus more amusing are respectively played by
sidekick in the likes of “The Wedding Malin Akerman and Edward 10. “Atonement”
Planner” and “13 Going on 30,” her Burns with considerably less

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
“Cloverfield”: monster movie Opinion: And the Golden
proves to be a monster hit Globe goes to...who?
Sam Ortiz She’s not alone. After years
Todd Johnson know them during the party. Basically Staff Writer of being overlooked, Johnny Depp
A & E Editor the first 15 minutes of this very short finally gets the respect and attention
movie (86 minutes) is spent on And the Golden Globe goes to... he deserves, but Murphy’s Law,
I have never been the biggest developing characters. And then the who the hell knows? I’d be astonished right...too bad it had to be this year.
monster movie fan. By monster attack begins with an earthquake. if too many people besides me made This may seem like a crazy idea,
movies, I mean movies with gigantic From there on out, the movie is one it through the pallid and seemingly but it seems to me that a program
monsters that trash cities because very intense ride that rarely pauses to never-ending hour-long press designed to honor the artists-- for
they can (i.e. Godzilla). I have never breathe and leaves you drained by the conference to even hear the winners your information writers, that means
been the biggest fan of “Godzilla” (I end. announced. you too -- should have been given a
quit watching it when I was eight). By using this handheld camera A year such as this one has been ton more consideration than this.
The only giant technique, the especially psychologically damaging Though there is light in the
monster I ever audience becomes to people like me all across America. tunnel; it’s so heartwarming to see
liked was King part of the First, half of Broadway is MIA due some of my favorite actors putting
Kong. action with the to striking, and now Hollywood has themselves in the picket line for the
Well, that characters. This been hit hard with this damaging writers (Katherine Heigl, Tina Fey,
changed the helps them get into affliction. etc.). So far no mention of a star
other day when the movie more I won’t lie to you, when I heard volunteering to take a slight pay cut
I saw a monster than usual. While the Golden Globes Ceremony wasn’t in order to benefit the writers’ salary
that could make it is a little jarring going to happen I was mortified. increase, but maybe that’s asking a
King Kong at first, I became This time of year is what I live for. little too much.
and Godzilla adjusted to the Oh, but don’t you fret, our favorite I’m just crossing my fingers
scream uncle style and I never corner-cutting, money-hoarding big- that by some divine miracle this all
while still really noticed it wigs were there to provide us with a gets taken care of “with all deliberate
managing to throughout the “boss!”* solution -- air the Globes in a speed.” My heart sank into the pit of
devour a few rest of the movie. 60-minute presentation and hire two my stomach when I heard the Oscars
hundred people The monster unknowns to present them. (*This is a might not happen. I await that Sunday
in the process. in this movie is reference to “Juno,” for the five of you awards show like it’s the Super Bowl
The monster a sight to see. who haven’t seen it yet.) It felt like or LSU playing in the BCS title game.
does not have Looking like a watching the Caddo School Board It has to happen, right? Everyone is
a name. All I mix of Sin from Award Ceremonies I had to attend as feeling the ramifications of this strike
know is that he “Final Fantasy X” a kid, and we all know how riveting and it is high time it ended (maybe in
shows up in the movie “Cloverfield” and the Sammael from “Hellboy,” this those can be. time for the Oscars? Please?).
and lays waste to New York City in a is big, nasty, and hungry. He drops It’s quite an exciting time for Just do me a favor. If you do
big way. little monsters that eat people and an actor. Congrats, Marion Cotillard! nothing else, read over the list of
The movie is told from the sometimes cause them, in one very Before, nobody knew your name, winners once or twice because they
unique perspective of a handheld gruesome sequence, to explode. The and now you’ve received your first deserve at least that. Oh, and Ms.
camera. One single camera special effects are simply amazing, nomination and win! Oh, wait, people Cotillard’s agents can reward me
throughout the entire film. In fact, especially once you realize this movie still don’t know your name. I’m sorry; appropriately for that name drop
the title of the film refers to the code was made for the same amount of at least the trophy will accent your anytime they feel ready.
name the tape is given by the military money that Will Smith got paid to drawing room beautifully.
after it was found in an area formerly star in “I Am Legend.”
known as Central Park. A word of warning, though:
Anyway, through this camera, This movie is not for people who get
Learning Lab
we meet our main characters Rob motion-sickness easily (as the camera
(Michael Stahl-David), Beth (Odette shakes quite a bit) or for people who
like endings that are neat and tidy. In
Schedule
Yustman), Lily (Jessica Lucas),
Marlena (Lizzy Caplan), Jason fact, it is safe to say that the movie
(Mike Vogel), and our cameraman really doesn’t have an ending. It just
Hud (T.J. Miller). They are all young stops. However, this was expected Writing Lab
twentysomethings from New York, given the format of the storytelling.
Sun-Thur 8-10 pm
obviously. During the night of a party However, if you want a very
for Rob, who is leaving for a new job intense, sometimes scary, and
Learning Labs (various subjects available)
in Japan, a large lizard-like monster extremely entertaining monster
movie, “Cloverfield” is definitely the Sun-Thurs 6-9 pm
attacks the city and they are forced to
try and survive the night and escape way to go. Here is hoping that they
make a companion movie told from The labs should be opening starting on the 23rd.
the path of the monster.
This movie takes its time to set the perspective of the military or
up the characters and let you get to something.

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
TV spotlight:
“Torchwood” and The Screen
Take a mission trip to
Actors Guild awards are
must-sees this weekend Mexico
Versha Sharma on this season of “Torchwood,” If you are interested in going on the Spring Mis-
Editor-in-Chief making the show the crossover-fan’s
complete dream. If you haven’t been
sion Trip to Mexico, March 14-19, please plan on
-Saturday, January 26, 8:00 pm busy watching all of Series Three attending the information meeting Wednesday,
Channel: BBC America of “Doctor Who” on the internet, Jan. 30 at 6pm in the Smith Building Room 203.
Show: “Torchwood” the American broadcast of those
episodes also begins this Saturday,
There are a limited number of spaces available for
Why it’s important: This is
the premiere of the second season and those who need to catch up on this trip. A $35 deposit can be made at
of “Torchwood,” the award-winning “Torchwood” so far can enjoy the Wednesday's meeting which will be put toward the
(and rating-record-breaking), edgy, DVD which was just released this
Tuesday. Still skeptical? Here’s a fun
cost of the trip. Registration deadline is Friday,
supernatural television show from
across the pond. The most popular tidbit: James Marsters, known in February 15th. The total cost for the trip is $600.
show on BBC America, it has already “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” circles There will be scholarships to cover half of the cost
premiered in the UK to rapturous as the beloved Spike, will be on the
premiere (and even share a steamy
so each participant will be responsible for paying
reviews. While the label of sci-fi turns
off some people, the show presents kiss with Captain Jack). $300. Fundraising options to help cover the $300
more than enough reasons for non- that you are responsible for will be discussed at
Trekkies to watch: the handsome -Sunday, January 27, 7:00 pm
Channel: TNT and TBS
the meeting. Please contact Laura Canfield if you
and deliciously naughty bisexual
Captain Jack Harkness, played by the Show: The Screen Actors Guild have any questions at lcanfiel@centenary.edu or
handsome and deliciously naughty Awards (live) call 318.869.5280.
gay Scottish-American actor John Why it’s important: Those of
Barrowman; the often-contradictory us who craved the movie awards
personality of Gwen, played by season – Golden Globes one Sunday
Vote now!
breakout star Eve Myles (even if her night, Oscars another one, and clips
Welsh accent is sometimes annoying, from all the wonderful films we’ve
the evolution of her character is spent our hard-earned money on in
fascinating); and the often clever, between (not to mention our favorite
always brilliant scriptwriting of the stars in the most glamorous outfits)
likes of Russell – have been
shafted by
T. Davies, Log in at https://secure.centenary.edu/login/
responsible for the ongoing
the genius that writers’
is the modern strike. The Please submit your nominations by Friday,
“Doctor Who.” G o l d e n February 1, 2008. Faculty members who have
That said, this Globes didn’t served at Centenary College for five years or
is a must- happen, longer are eligible. In your nomination
see for any and though message, please provide reasons why your
nominations
“Doctor Who” nominee should be considered an
fan, and not were released
Tu e s d a y, outstanding teacher. Consider teaching
just because of
the presence a perilous ability, excellence in advising, College
of Captain Jack shadow of service, mentoring ability, and campus
(a recurring doubt has leadership in your evaluation.
character on been cast
both shows). over the A committee of student members selects a
Oscars.
Series Three deserving recipient. We will announce the
companion
award at the Founders' Day activities on
M a r t h a cont.
Jones will February 21, 2008. Please carefully consider
on next
make several your teachers and colleagues and submit
page
app e arance s persuasive nominations.

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
TV
spotlight:
what to
watch this
weekend,
cont. from
page 14
Luckily, the Writers
Guild of America granted
the Screen Actors Guild
a waiver which allowed
a union writer to script
remarks for awards
presenters (which include
John Travolta, Russell
Crowe, Steve Carell, Tina
Fey, and Kate Hudson).
This ceremony received
the waiver that was denied
to both the Golden Globes
and (thus far) the Oscars
because the Screen Actors
Guild is publicly supportive
of the striking writers. The
award ceremony will take
center stage this year as
the only one to actually be
attended by Hollywood
stars and not picketed by
the writers. As the award
show “where only actors
vote for actors,” the evening
should be both surprising
and entertaining.
Pictured on page 14,
left side: John Barrowman
plays Captain Jack
Harkness, the leader on
“Torchwood, while James
”
Marsters makes a guest
appearance on the second
season premiere as Captain
John. (Hotties.) Marsters is
best known for playing Spike
in the “Buffy the Vampire
Slayer” series. Photo from
doctorwhonews.com.

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
Sports Jarboe Jabber: Olympic events that
VS will probably never make it
Michael Jarboe
Sports Editor
be at an all-time high. It would be
paradise! Okay, maybe my love for
macaroni would not make it to the
As the 2008 Beijing Olympics list. Still, you can’t say the idea was
quickly approach us, I can’t help but that cheesy (I know, I’m good).
to think how there is no way I will What if playing Madden on
ever get to compete in any of the Xbox was an Olympic sport? What
Super Bowl coach evaluation events. I just don’t think it’s possible.
These Herculean heroes and heroines
a dream. There would always be a
game to play with your friend (that
work and focus their entire lives, one friend that still really wants to
Michael Jarboe Spagnuolo, knowing his players devoted to one individual practice. be that full-time video game master
Sports Editor can’t defend Brady with top-notch How does one honestly do that, I ask? and still wears his letterman jacket
coverage, will rely on the pass rush of As for me, I would consider myself in public places and wants you to
As the 42nd Super Bowl quickly Strahan and Umenyiora. Spagnuolo an all-around kind of guy. I never sleep over creepily when you come
approaches, we have now come to also will employ multiple zone blitzes really focused all my attention on one back home from college–we all have
a time of evaluation -evaluation of to try to force Brady to hold the ball sport in order to compete at a world- one). Carpal tunnel would be a
two talented teams that are both until the pass rush gets to him. The wide level. So, what if I did? What if commonality. People who were really
skilled in various different areas. A Giants will send pressure up the with the activities I love to do they into it would have belts around their
perfect New England Patriots season middle to try to take away Brady’s made an Olympic event. Ladies and waists carrying two fresh controllers
is hard to argue with when it comes step-up lane and flush him out of Gentlemen, in the world of Jarboe just in case the ones they were
to the question of skill. Possibly one the pocket. However, McDaniels can Jabber, anything could happen. currently using jammed. Of course,
of the deadliest combos (Tom Brady counter with quick passes, screens, What if eating macaroni this is for a total nerd, and if I ever
and Randy Moss) has been nothing and shotgun formations to keep and cheese was an Olympic sport? see anyone on campus with that I
less than legendary as it rocked the Brady upright. Come on, think about it. You’d line will honestly set your pants on fire, *
entire AFC to its core this season. On The New York Giants up all your different competitors with reaches down and tightens controller
the other hand, you have the rather Offensive coordinator Kevin spoons, set in front of them each a vat holder around his waist*.
youthful and surprising team–New Gilbride has done a good job of getting of the cheesiest macaroni and cheese Well, it looks as if none of my
York Giants–that is ready to give its Manning to manage the game and you can think of, have a time set for ideas would really work very well. I
18-0 opponent a run for its perfect make the most of his opportunities two hours and go! The end result will just have to deal with watching
season. Eli Manning, who at one point off play-action. Expect Gilbride to would not be pretty, but consider the the Olympics from the comfort of my
of the season had fewer fantasy points keep things simple. He’ll make sure hype of this sport. If you had any kind couch in my dorm room for the rest of
than any other QB, has proven that Manning is focused on his presnap of stock in Kraft you’d be rocking and my life. I challenge you today, children
he means business this season. You reads and recognizes the many blitz rolling (take that Microsoft). Athletes of the world. Go out and work toward
know all the jazz about the players looks the Patriots will use out of their would have signature spoons that having one of your passions or talents
and who the star match-ups on the 3-4 front. OLBs Thomas and Mike little boys and girls would save up created into an Olympic event that
field are going to be, so what about on Vrabel will line up all over the field, their money from mowing the lawn we all may watch from Beijing. Live
the sidelines? Coaches Bill Belichick and they do a good job of faking the to purchase and show off in front of the dream, baby. Live the dream.
and Tom Coughlin are very respected blitz and dropping into coverage. their friends. Constipation would
in the NFL by other coaches. Here are With Harrison playing predominantly
some of the things they will have to in the box, the Pats will be able to
work on to bring their teams to the send either Vrabel or Thomas off the
National Championship. edge while crashing their ends inside
The New England Patriots to create one-on-one mismatches.
Bill Belichick and offensive Gilbride and Coach Tom Coughlin
coordinator Josh McDaniels are will counter by limiting Manning’s
masters of the match-up game and pass attempts and focusing on the
will attack the Giants’ weaknesses. running game.
Brady will be coached to use Information gathered from
quick slants and crossing routes. www.sportingnews.com.
Giants defensive coordinator Steve

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
The Conglomerate presents: The life of a Centenary athlete LSU will have
Allison McClain game-like situations. One day was #25 Stacy Whitmer—Pitcher
five players in
Staff Writer devoted only to base running. At first from Henderson, KY Super Bowl
we were a little uneasy about the idea #31 Beth Krysiak—Catcher/ Kat Michiels
It’s softball season and time to of running in frigid temperatures at 3rd baseman from The Woodlands, Staff Writer
meet the team…. 9 a.m. in the morning, but honestly TX
After a week back to the basics it was one of the most productive Freshman: LSU, now with two BCS
of school and softball, I have found learning practices this season. #3 Bonnie Matak—Outfielder championships, will have five of its
myself immersed amongst the ever- Our team is ready more than from Richmond, TX former football players in the Super
so-strenuous load of being a collegiate ever, I can already tell, for the #7 Lauren Highsmith— Bowl when the New England Patriots
student-athlete. season to begin. We are Pitcher from Houston, TX face off against the New York Giants
Our team kicked anxious and excited to #16 Caitlin Cavarra—Utility at Super Bowl XLII.
off the season have 14 girls returning from Brentwood, TN One former Tiger, cornerback
with a “bonding” from last season and Coaches: Corey Webster, will don a New York
day two days two newcomers who Head Coach: Mark jersey. Joining the still-undefeated
before the rest of have proven to be a key Montgomery Patriots will be cornerback Randall
the student body impact on our team. Assistant: Lyndsey Angus Gay, linebacker Eric Alexander,
unpacked their The fall was successful, Assistant: Dan Moreman defensive tackle Jarvis Green, and
belongings from but the spring is our We open the season with a day running back Kevin Faulk.
the Christmas season and with only of scrimmages against local rival Green and Faulk have already
holidays. Awaiting a few weeks until the BPCC on Saturday, February 2, and been to the Super Bowl three times
the season to first pitch, nothing can then kick off our official season by and now claim three victories. Gay
begin seems to be be more exciting than traveling to Texarkana on February and Alexander were both starters on
the most difficult the feeling of our first 8 to face Oklahoma State, UAB, and the 2003 BCS championship team.
part of this time of win. Our pitchers and Arkansas. Just stay tuned for weekly If you are an LSU fan or are
the year. With only catchers are a whole year updates on our season from yours ready to see the Patriots go completely
about a week or so older and carry a year of truly and come out and support us at undefeated, make sure to catch the
left until our first experience under their the Centenary Softball Complex. actual Super Bowl on February 3 at
game, our preparation has not let maroon belts, and that alone makes “I come to play everyday.” – 5:30, broadcast live from Phoenix,
up. From six a.m. morning workouts me extremely eager to compete. David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox Arizona, by FOX news station.
to the three-hour practices every I want to take this time to
night—we are ready to begin. introduce everyone to this year’s
So, school has started back…. Ladies softball team, who will
and the life of no sleep and studying represent Centenary College and
continues to challenge me as I fight the Summit League this season, in
the pressure of being successful. hopes of bringing home a conference
Though, I must admit it helps to have championship.
a team who is living the same life as I Seniors:
am right now. #2 Lauren Flowers—
The first week back we opened Centerfielder from San Antonio, TX
the season with our favorite of all #11 Lyn Virdell—2nd baseman
drills. Wet and muddy, we pushed from Claremore, OK
through the 26-minute drill only to #12 Jennifer Martin—
experience a week or so of soreness. We Leftfielder from Fort Worth, TX
consider ourselves not only athletes, #22 Amy Wiedeman—
but knowledge athletes at that, so we Outfielder from Houston, TX
spend quite a bit of time on mental Juniors:
training and understanding our roles #8 Allison McClain—Utility
as members of the Centenary Ladies Infielder from Diboll, TX
softball team. So, with that, a few #10 Leslie Postles—
hours were spent on building each Outfielder from Shreveport, LA
other’s trust and learning more about #14 Emerald Doria—
each of the members of our team Shortstop from San Antonio, TX
since we will spend every waking Sophomores:
moment together come two weeks. #6 Haley Bassett—Catcher/
Practices have been cold, I have 3rd baseman from Bossier City, LA
to say, but playing in the Summit #9 Brittany Williams—1st
League, this is no comparison to the baseman from Antioch, TN
temperatures we face up north. We are #15 Ali Shepperd—3rd
just lucky to be on the field this early baseman/catcher from Marshall, TX
in January. Throughout these last few #21 Ryan Thacker—Pitcher
weeks, our practices have focused on from Alto, TX

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
Crossword Puzzle: Horoscopes
Name that Actor Aquarius (1/21-2/19) I admit,
congratulations are in order for your latest
accomplishment. Maybe you have a shot in
life after all.
Pisces (2/20-3/20) Blah blah blah blah blah.
Aries (3/21-4/20) Find a tire, preferably one
on a car, and tie it to a tree, thus making a
tire swing. Proceed to romp and play like a
five year old. Then abandon your play when
you realize you are not five.
Taurus (4/21-5/21) Cold pizza at 3 am does
great things for your complexion. Mind you,
your waist will never be the same.
Gemini (5/22-6/21) For two ugly people,
you sure are cute.
Cancer (6/22-7/23) I would reassure you,
but that’s not my style. I prefer to rob you
of all hope and optimism, forcing you into
a depression where you discover that things
can only get better. This way, you can arrive
at your own optimism.
Leo (7/24-8/23) Your “love life” consists of
misunderstood text messages and drunken
make-out sessions. Sure, this is no way to
find “the one,” but it’s still fun, right? Right?
ACROSS Virgo (8/24 –9/23) Your band sounds
2. Spanglish and Big Daddy DOWN nothing like Velvet Underground, I’m sorry
3. Net and Miss Congeniality 1. Italian Job and Planet of the Apes to break it to you. Quit now before you
11. Face Off and Con Air 4. The Birdcage and Good Will Hunting permanently injure someone’s ear drums.
13. 50 First Dates and Charlie’s Angels 5. X-men and Gothika
Libra (9/24-10/22) Meow.
14. Save the Last Dance and Mona Lisa 6. Say Anything and Serendipity
Smile 7. Pulp Fiction and Face Off Scorpio (10/23-11/22) I don’t care what they
15. Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill 8. X-men and The Prestige say: if you have fantasies about breakfast
18. Batman Begins and 3:10 to Yuma 9. Pirates of the Carribean and foods, you are not completely sane, and you
19. Marie Antoinette and Spiderman Elizabethtown can throw all your hopes of vegetarianism
out the window.
21. Spiderman and Seabiscuit 10. Ocean’s Eleven and Michael Clayton
22. Without a Paddle and Can’t Hardly 12. Legally Blonde and Walk the Line Sagittarius (11/23-12/21) I know you hold
Wait 14. Erin Brockovich and Pretty Woman a candle for that guy/girl in your MWF
23. G.I. Jane and Ghost 16. Die Hard and Pulp Fiction morning class, but I have to break it to you:
24. Elf and Anchorman 17. Pirates of the Carribean and Secret they are holding a candle for the guy/girl in
25. Speed and The Matrix Window their M 2-5 seminar. The heart is a delicate
organ.
26. Bourne Identity and Good Will 20. Ocean’s Eleven and Fight Club
Hunting Capricorn (12/22 –1/20) Last week you were
27. Uptown Girls and Sin City Saggitarius, this week you are Libra.

January 25, 2008 1 Volume 84, Issue 15
Centenary Secrets Centenary
Concert Wire
Jan. 25, Friday Doors open @ 7 PM, Show @ 8
Robert Earl Keen Granada Theater, Dallas, TX
10:30 PM $15 and up
Billy Bob’s Texas http://www.corymorrow.com/
Ft. Worth, TX http://tickets.granadatheater.
$12 GA, $18 reserved com/ordertickets.asp?p=765
http://wwww.billybobstexas.com
http://www.robertearlkeen. Jan. 26, Saturday
com/ James McMurtry
...watch the video http://
Jan. 25, Friday www.youtube.com/
Bone Dance,
Lands of Mine,
and Eves watch?v=jTW0y6kazWM
Descent 8 PM
8 PM @ Harlequin Blue Moon Saloon
Alley Lafayette, LA
www.myspace.com/ http://www.
harlequinalley jamesmcmurtry.com
http://www.
Jan. 25, Friday bluemoonpresents.com/
Face Plant, The Crisis, index.html
The Blue Eclipse
10 PM @ The Jan. 26, Saturyday
Warehouse And, Wellington, Silver City
www.myspace. Skyline, Amateur Hour, and
com/ Triumphant Return
theriversidewarehouse 7 PM @ Harlequin Alley
In order to participate, take a postcard and tell your secret anonymously. www.myspace.com/harlequinalley
Send the card to campus box #786 or slip it under the Conglomerate Jan. 26, Saturday
Office door on the third floor of the SUB. Cory Morrow
A Day with Christ by Chris Christ

January 25, 2008 0 Volume 84, Issue 15
Satire: The Conglomerate presents criteria for
choosing a commencement speaker at Centenary
Amanda Russell Because no one has ever heard of for Centenary! The 1997 and 2003 example, NASA administrator Daniel
Staff Writer you! commencement speakers were both Goldin spoke in 1997, 28 years after
2. Be an obscure Methodist NPR correspondents. I see a pattern Neil Armstrong landed on the moon.
Upon hearing that J.K. Rowling minister. First of all, as a developing. After all, KSCL did host Did Goldin go to the moon? Did he
will speak at Harvard University’s commencement speaker your job is “Philosophy Talk” last semester… bring moon rocks to the Gold Dome?
Commencement, my initial thoughts to bring money into the college. So 4. Be of an ethnicity other than Definitely not. Consider 2006 speaker
were, “I wish someone as cool as J.K. you should not only be a speaker we white. Usually this means black, but Dr. Norman Francis, president of
Rowling will speak at Centenary’s don’t have to pay (or pay very little), it can mean other things as well. Xavier University and leader of the
graduation.” Last year, the director your presence should encourage Centenary has a strange dedication LA Recovery Authority. He spoke
of the Center for Leadership donation. With enrollment wavering to pretending its campus is diverse. nine months after Katrina hit south
Development at ACE in Washington, and freshly-graduated pissed-off The most bizarre manifestation of Louisiana. By that time, everyone
D.C., spoke. In 2006 the president alumni seething, this is looking like an this was when a black student who from south Louisiana was so sick of
of Xavier University spoke, and in ever-important criterion. Who better is not a member of the choir posed hearing about Katrina and no one
2000 former First Lady and wrinkly to give money to Centenary than the as a choir member during the filming doing anything about it that we all
robot Barbara Bush spoke. Reviewing Methodists? This is an institution of Centenary’s commercial. I know wanted to catch the Katrina cough.
the list of former commencement affiliated with the Methodist Church, Hollywood is all about “faking it until Lastly, consider former First Lady
speakers encouraged me to come up after all. You also might be wondering you make it,” but there currently is a Barbara Bush. He husband was not
with a list of criteria I believe “the about the obscure part. But can choir member who is half-black and President at the time and her son was
powers” of Centenary use to choose you honestly name more than five half-Mexican. That is about as diverse about to steal the 2000 Presidential
commencement speakers: ministers of any denomination as it gets. Why wasn’t he recruited for election. Plus, her appearance at
1. Be someone that no one without using Google? the commercial? Centenary was well before the
has ever heard of. This is probably 3. Be an NPR correspondent. 5. Be ineffective. Most of premiere of “Little Bush” on Comedy
the most important criterion. Most people don’t listen to NPR the commencement speakers are Central.
Are you Dr. Madeline Green? Are unless they’re highly educated, what I will term “ineffective” in the With these criteria in mind,
you Scott Simon? Are you Daniel bored, or high. Some of the students sense that by the time they come Centenary should be in for a real treat
Goldin? If so, you are a candidate here probably don’t even know to Centenary, if they were famous come May 2008!
for commencement speaker! Why? what NPR is. But that’s no problem their star has drastically fallen. For
Attention Sudoku
We regret to inform all of our readers that in May of
2007 Nick Rougely graduated from Centenary. e
former Conglomerate satirist has moved on to greener
pastures. On this note, we regrettably cannot “bring
back Nick” despite how often and passionately you, the
readers, beg us to do so. e Conglomerate staff
appreciates that you enjoyed Nick’s witty articles, and
surely so does he. Just to make it absolutely clear, Nick
Rougely graduated, he is not coming back, get over it.
“Manipulating the judicial
system to win an election is
so un-American!”
- Tracy Turnblad in “Hairspray” the musical