Who’s Pushing Your Buttons?Dealing with Negative and Difficult PeopleOur facilitator:Jean Marie Heilig, MBA,MLISFiscal Off...
Who’s Pushing Your Buttons?!
To Begin With…• Who deals with difficult people at work?• Who deals with difficult people in their  personal lives?
To Begin With…..If you didn’t raise your hand for either of thesequestions you need to get out from under yourrock! Diffic...
How We React
The Cost of Difficult People
Is someone at work killing you?
Working With You is Killing Me
HookedBeing hooked is the experience of feeling caught in an emotionally distressing situation at work.
Unhooking  The activity of changing your reaction toemotionally upsetting circumstances at work.
Warning SignsThat You May Be Emotionally Hooked!   Strong negative emotions such as anger,fear, panic, anxiety, embarrassm...
Warning Signs  That You May Be Physically Hooked!Your body sends you signals of emotional distress-  clenched teeth, stiff...
Warning Signs   That You May Be Mentally Hooked!           Unproductive mental activity-obsessive thinking, spacing out, c...
Four-Pronged Unhooking Technique
Boundary Busters
Sound Familiar?                   TMIhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QENCPa-h-A
What do you think?How would you unhook verbally from this             situation?
Let’s Interact!• What types of behaviors do difficult people  exhibit?
Sound Familiar?
The 10 Most Unwanted ListHostile/Aggressive (bully)       Know-it-allWhiner                           SnipingNegativist (n...
Hostile/Aggressive                   How to Identify• Bullies who always need to be in the right.• Abusive, abrupt, intimi...
Hostile/AggressiveHave you already tried to: Be nicer? Do whatever your family taught you      (pout, yell, or get even)...
Hostile/Aggressive                   How to CopeThere are still a few communication rocks leftunturned: Don’t run in the ...
Know-it-allPeople who think they know-it-all are especially       annoying to those of us who do.                         ...
Know-it-all How to Identify
Know-it-allHow would you cope?
Know-it-all How to Cope
Martyrdom (whiner)     How to Identify
Martyrdom (whiner)How would you cope?
Martyrdom (whiner)     How to Cope
SnipingHow to Identify
SnipingHow would you avoid becoming a target?
SnipingHow to Cope
Questions?
On the web:http://cslinsession.cvlsites.org
Whos Pushing Your Buttons? Dealing with Negative and Difficult People
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Whos Pushing Your Buttons? Dealing with Negative and Difficult People

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It’s inevitable, at some point in your week you’ll run into one of them. Those people who seem to turn a wonderful day into a dark one. You know these people; they seem to be chronically critical, belligerent, indignant, angry, or just plain rude. But it doesn’t have to be that way for you. Learning tactics for dealing with negative or difficult people will help you survive in the workplace. Part of the CSL In Session online learning series - September 19, 2012 with Jean Marie Heilig.

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Whos Pushing Your Buttons? Dealing with Negative and Difficult People

  1. 1. Who’s Pushing Your Buttons?Dealing with Negative and Difficult PeopleOur facilitator:Jean Marie Heilig, MBA,MLISFiscal Officer, LSTA GrantCoordinatorColorado State Library
  2. 2. Who’s Pushing Your Buttons?!
  3. 3. To Begin With…• Who deals with difficult people at work?• Who deals with difficult people in their personal lives?
  4. 4. To Begin With…..If you didn’t raise your hand for either of thesequestions you need to get out from under yourrock! Difficult people are all around us!Conflict is a fact of life!
  5. 5. How We React
  6. 6. The Cost of Difficult People
  7. 7. Is someone at work killing you?
  8. 8. Working With You is Killing Me
  9. 9. HookedBeing hooked is the experience of feeling caught in an emotionally distressing situation at work.
  10. 10. Unhooking The activity of changing your reaction toemotionally upsetting circumstances at work.
  11. 11. Warning SignsThat You May Be Emotionally Hooked! Strong negative emotions such as anger,fear, panic, anxiety, embarrassment, confusion,depression, repulsion, helplessness, or despair.
  12. 12. Warning Signs That You May Be Physically Hooked!Your body sends you signals of emotional distress- clenched teeth, stiff neck, tension headaches, tight chest, overheating, chills, stomach pain, nausea, facial twitches, insomnia, or fatigue.
  13. 13. Warning Signs That You May Be Mentally Hooked! Unproductive mental activity-obsessive thinking, spacing out, constant distraction, paranoia, revenge fantasies, forgetfulness, inability to concentrate.
  14. 14. Four-Pronged Unhooking Technique
  15. 15. Boundary Busters
  16. 16. Sound Familiar? TMIhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QENCPa-h-A
  17. 17. What do you think?How would you unhook verbally from this situation?
  18. 18. Let’s Interact!• What types of behaviors do difficult people exhibit?
  19. 19. Sound Familiar?
  20. 20. The 10 Most Unwanted ListHostile/Aggressive (bully) Know-it-allWhiner SnipingNegativist (no person) Indecision (maybe person)Arrogance (think they know-it- Super Agreeable (yes person)all)Unresponsive/Silent (nothing Impatienceperson)
  21. 21. Hostile/Aggressive How to Identify• Bullies who always need to be in the right.• Abusive, abrupt, intimidating, arbitrary, as well as arrogant.
  22. 22. Hostile/AggressiveHave you already tried to: Be nicer? Do whatever your family taught you (pout, yell, or get even)? Gossip? Give up (repeatedly)? Counterattack? Frighten them? Blame them? Sigh loudly? Glare?
  23. 23. Hostile/Aggressive How to CopeThere are still a few communication rocks leftunturned: Don’t run in the other direction Remain calm yet assertive Stick to facts Let them vent Maintain eye contact Don’t be afraid to admit to a mistake
  24. 24. Know-it-allPeople who think they know-it-all are especially annoying to those of us who do. --Anonymous
  25. 25. Know-it-all How to Identify
  26. 26. Know-it-allHow would you cope?
  27. 27. Know-it-all How to Cope
  28. 28. Martyrdom (whiner) How to Identify
  29. 29. Martyrdom (whiner)How would you cope?
  30. 30. Martyrdom (whiner) How to Cope
  31. 31. SnipingHow to Identify
  32. 32. SnipingHow would you avoid becoming a target?
  33. 33. SnipingHow to Cope
  34. 34. Questions?
  35. 35. On the web:http://cslinsession.cvlsites.org

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