Finally after what seemed hours Bebe gave birth to our first son, Darcy. I was a father!
Darcy is named after the late Darcy Doyle who was an Australian painter.
“I’m a father!!”
Suddenly it occurred to me just how much responsibility to the family I had. Things like baby cots cost a lot of money let me tell you. Bebe would have really
liked to have gone back to her job at the hospital, but Sunset valley has some very strict maternity leave laws. So I knew I had to take the plunge...
I just hadn’t realized it would be literally into the Landgraabs rubbish bin.
“Is that a... eww!”
“You will find nothing in there but my incontinence pads.” Smirked Geoffrey Landgrab the next day as he passed me on patrol.
The things I had to do to get promoted!
While Bebe’s life seemed to consist of nothing but bottles and rocking Darcy to sleep, mine consistent of nothing but toxic waste both at work and at home.
“Zzzz.... nappies....incontinence pads....nappies....rotting apples....nappies ...zzzz”
Mainly because the smell of the nappies was making Bebe sick, literally.
We soon found out it was because our second baby was on the way.
Thankfully some of my bin rummaging had been successful in bringing a notorious criminal to justice and I was given the hefty promotion to Undercover
Specialist. Yes sir I was moving up quite swiftly, I could almost taste my international ‘spydom’.
This had thankfully allowed us to pay enough deposit to the builders to get our shack remodelled. Having Darcy in his own little room was a great help. That
kid sure had a good set of lungs for such a small guy.
Just in time too, because it was the little guys first birthday and I knew he would need a slew of new things if he was to grow up as awesome as his old man.
(“I will poke your eye out to add to my collection!”)
“Owh! That’s my eye buddy!”
Suddenly I heard screaming coming from the bathroom.
Bebe had gone into a quick labour in our tiny bathroom. There wasn’t even time to go to the hospital.
In just a few short minutes Bebe held our second son, Donald.
Donald is named after Donald Bradman, famous Australian cricketer.
While Donald seemed content to wiggle about on a rug, Darcy had become even more of a handful. When he was not trying to smother his baby brother-
with what I am sure is just toddler affection, his favourite pastime was now throwing blocks and drawing on the wall with his crayons.
(“Aliens paint caterpillar brother with green toxic waste!”)
Darcy quickly learnt to walk and talk and thankfully potty train before his brother’s birthday.
“The toys shall be all mine!” Mwhaha!
Good thing too, with our third baby on the way.
Bebe’s parents came over for Donald’s birthday. They were older but still as strange as ever. Although really, what can you expect from parents who name
their child Bebe.
“Hey Bebe! Hey! Is that you or a bus? I forgot my glasses and I’m blind as a bat.”
“You think he might have grey hair like me?”
Who comes to a toddler’s birthday with the chuck up bug?
Even if they do change their clothes and clean the toilet.
After spreading her germs to the kids toys Bebe’s mum said she had to go.
Bebe’s mother is a riot.
While her father said he needed some wrinkle cream and left for the supermarket just before the cake. I really think someone needs to tell him he needs a
hair cut more than wrinkle cream.
Donald sparkled into toddlerhood wearing his elder brother’s pyjamas and hair.
We had a hard time telling our boys apart.
Will the real Darcy Discourses please stand up?
“I am you stupid creator person”
This child is so rude!
They do have different faces and eye colours, but this was way too confusing.
We quickly got our second son a different hair cut and his own little baseball outfit. He was quite content to sit and play nicely with his toys.
It was a rare day when both boys took their nap together and Bebe thought she would do some painting. As usual around here, she didn’t get more than
three minutes to herself as our third child decided now would be the perfect time to be born.
I think this was the first moment the poor woman had to do anything for herself since Darcy was born.