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Experts Guide to Flushing Your
Web Design Budget
Down the Toilet
A Sarcastic Collection of Tips & Tricks to ensure
you get something you don’t

want that is consistently
Behind schedule.
A Sarcastic Collection of Tips & Tricks to ensure
you get something you don’t

want that is consistently
Behind schedule.
...
Put it on auto pilot!
Lesson #1

Put it on auto pilot!
Even the best design firms can’t work in a vacuum. If you’re
looking to shed some of that...
Lesson #1

Put it on auto pilot!
Even the best design firms can’t work in a vacuum. If you’re
looking to shed some of that...
Never respond right away!
Don’t spoil your development team by
immediately responding to their questions
or supplying thou...
Never respond right away!
Don’t spoil your development team by
immediately responding to their questions
or supplying thou...
Don’t Test it Yourself
Why should you? After all, they’re the professionals. And given the industry requirement for
telepa...
Don’t Test it Yourself
Why should you? After all, they’re the professionals. And given the industry requirement for
telepa...
Management by Committee
Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks
they hav...
Management by Committee
Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks
they hav...
Management by Committee
Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks
they hav...
Trickle your changes in one at a time
You wouldn’t want to overwhelm
your design team by letting them
organize the project...
Do it Yourself!
Do it Yourself!
After all, you have plenty of time to learn
about marketing, design and coding.
What do you think all thos...
Use the Cheapest Technology Available
Don’t offend your customers with one of
those fancy “user friendly” websites that
sc...
Delegate it to an intern

Why not let the 22 year old kid
with no business experience do it?
After all, he’s good at Twitt...
Before you Continue
Just wanted to let you
know that we have a
special free “No-Strings”
VIP offer for you at the
end of t...
Make it clear you have no budget
Nothing incentivizes web
developers to do their best
work like dropping subtle hints
abou...
Make it clear you have no budget
Nothing incentivizes web
developers to do their best
work like dropping subtle hints
abou...
Squeeze 10 pounds of Crap into a 5 pound Bag!
People like to look at things, so take the opportunity to jam-pack
each page...
Skip that Search Engine stuff
Wait until after the website has been built to
start thinking about how your customers are
g...
Skip that Search Engine stuff
Wait until after the website has been built to
start thinking about how your customers are
g...
Ignore Mobile!

Why not cram your
entire website onto a
viewing area the size
of a postage stamp?
Ignore Mobile!

Why not cram your
entire website onto a
viewing area the size
of a postage stamp?

PRO TIP: Make sure the
...
Just throw
something up
there for now.
Just throw
something up
there for now.
Nothing conveys attention to detail like a
placeholder for a website. That way your...
Just throw
something up
there for now.
Nothing conveys attention to detail like a
placeholder for a website. That way your...
Assume it’s Easy!

Make sure that your
development team knows
that you know how easy it
is. That way you can
trivialize th...
Choose your developer based solely
on price

All websites are the same, so they
should all cost the same. After all,
all c...
It’s all about you!

Above all, make sure
that your website is
all about you and
not your customers.
It’s all about you!

Above all, make sure
that your website is
all about you and
not your customers.
If they want a websit...
Full Service Digital Marketing Since 1999

• Website Development
• Search Marketing Strategies
• Social Media Technologies...
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How to flush your website budget down the toilet

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We really do love our clients, but some of the things they do to shoot themselves in the foot are amusing…if not predictable.

We've been designing business websites since 1999, and we've learned a thing or two about what to expect from our otherwise well intentioned clientele.

Now we’re not above sarcasm, so we put together this expert’s guide detailing how a business owner can be their own worst enemy and effectively flush their website budget down the commode.(Or at least cause some delays).

Why would a guide detailing how to obstruct, delay and degrade website development be necessary when it appears to come so naturally? Well, it’s not. We just thought it would be entertaining, so we rehashed all the things we've seen actual clients do that really hinder their own projects and had some fun with it.

Did we leave anything out? Let me know....

www.KreativeWebworks.com

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Transcript of "How to flush your website budget down the toilet"

  1. 1. Experts Guide to Flushing Your Web Design Budget Down the Toilet
  2. 2. A Sarcastic Collection of Tips & Tricks to ensure you get something you don’t want that is consistently Behind schedule.
  3. 3. A Sarcastic Collection of Tips & Tricks to ensure you get something you don’t want that is consistently Behind schedule. After all, if you won’t like it, what’s the hurry?
  4. 4. Put it on auto pilot!
  5. 5. Lesson #1 Put it on auto pilot! Even the best design firms can’t work in a vacuum. If you’re looking to shed some of that unwanted cash, go ahead and take advantage of their telepathic powers and let them do all your thinking for you.
  6. 6. Lesson #1 Put it on auto pilot! Even the best design firms can’t work in a vacuum. If you’re looking to shed some of that unwanted cash, go ahead and take advantage of their telepathic powers and let them do all your thinking for you. PRO TIP: Tell them whatever they do will be fine…they’re the professionals. Then critique them mercilessly when they don’t read your mind.
  7. 7. Never respond right away! Don’t spoil your development team by immediately responding to their questions or supplying thoughtful feedback. That way you can avoid becoming their number one priority.
  8. 8. Never respond right away! Don’t spoil your development team by immediately responding to their questions or supplying thoughtful feedback. That way you can avoid becoming their number one priority. PRO TIP: Make sure you tease them a bit by only addressing part of their request.
  9. 9. Don’t Test it Yourself Why should you? After all, they’re the professionals. And given the industry requirement for telepathy, you can be assured that everything will work just like it did in your head.
  10. 10. Don’t Test it Yourself Why should you? After all, they’re the professionals. And given the industry requirement for telepathy, you can be assured that everything will work just like it did in your head. PRO TIP: Not testing a website before launching it is particularly effective with government Health Care projects.
  11. 11. Management by Committee Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks they have an opinion.
  12. 12. Management by Committee Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks they have an opinion. Take advantage of this phenomenon by making sure that everyone has a little piece of themselves in the final project.
  13. 13. Management by Committee Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks they have an opinion. Take advantage of this phenomenon by making sure that everyone has a little piece of themselves in the final project. Remember… a Camel is really just a Horse built by committee. And after all, isn’t a camel more interesting?
  14. 14. Trickle your changes in one at a time You wouldn’t want to overwhelm your design team by letting them organize the project all at once. This way they can have 10 or 20 miniature projects to manage instead of just one.
  15. 15. Do it Yourself!
  16. 16. Do it Yourself! After all, you have plenty of time to learn about marketing, design and coding. What do you think all those “Dummies” books are for? Everyone loves that “homemade” look, and in just a few short months…Presto!
  17. 17. Use the Cheapest Technology Available Don’t offend your customers with one of those fancy “user friendly” websites that scream “Look at me… I take my company seriously”. And what better way to showcase your thriftiness than to cut corners on the company website?
  18. 18. Delegate it to an intern Why not let the 22 year old kid with no business experience do it? After all, he’s good at Twitter, he must be good at business websites.
  19. 19. Before you Continue Just wanted to let you know that we have a special free “No-Strings” VIP offer for you at the end of the presentation. OK…go ahead…..
  20. 20. Make it clear you have no budget Nothing incentivizes web developers to do their best work like dropping subtle hints about your willingness to make your website a low priority in your business.
  21. 21. Make it clear you have no budget Nothing incentivizes web developers to do their best work like dropping subtle hints about your willingness to make your website a low priority in your business. PRO TIP: Never tell them your true budget so they will magically give you more than they think you have to invest.
  22. 22. Squeeze 10 pounds of Crap into a 5 pound Bag! People like to look at things, so take the opportunity to jam-pack each page full of visually stimulating eye candy. That way they will appreciate what they are looking for if they ever find it.
  23. 23. Skip that Search Engine stuff Wait until after the website has been built to start thinking about how your customers are going to find you.
  24. 24. Skip that Search Engine stuff Wait until after the website has been built to start thinking about how your customers are going to find you. Pro Tip: Demand the most convoluted navigation and code heavy features possible to thoroughly confuse the search engines.
  25. 25. Ignore Mobile! Why not cram your entire website onto a viewing area the size of a postage stamp?
  26. 26. Ignore Mobile! Why not cram your entire website onto a viewing area the size of a postage stamp? PRO TIP: Make sure the navigation buttons are smaller than your fingertips so your customers can’t click on what they were aiming for.
  27. 27. Just throw something up there for now.
  28. 28. Just throw something up there for now. Nothing conveys attention to detail like a placeholder for a website. That way your customers will assume that you are spending your time on them and not pesky details like your company image.
  29. 29. Just throw something up there for now. Nothing conveys attention to detail like a placeholder for a website. That way your customers will assume that you are spending your time on them and not pesky details like your company image. “If you don’t have time to do it right… you’ll probably have plenty of time to do it over”
  30. 30. Assume it’s Easy! Make sure that your development team knows that you know how easy it is. That way you can trivialize their knowledge and be assured of their best effort.
  31. 31. Choose your developer based solely on price All websites are the same, so they should all cost the same. After all, all cars are equal and they all cost the same…right?
  32. 32. It’s all about you! Above all, make sure that your website is all about you and not your customers.
  33. 33. It’s all about you! Above all, make sure that your website is all about you and not your customers. If they want a website that works for them, they can go to your competitors. This one is yours…
  34. 34. Full Service Digital Marketing Since 1999 • Website Development • Search Marketing Strategies • Social Media Technologies & Management We’re not just a bunch of pretty faces
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