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    Personal success Personal success Document Transcript

    • Personal YOUR PERSONAL COACH VOLUME 1 ISSUE 6 May 2007SuccessOfficial publication of The Academy Club and The Coaching AcademyFree Yourself From FearDr Susan JeffersMichael NeillFeel happy nowNO LIMITSNETWORKINGDump TheEmotional BaggageHOW TO SPEAKWITH CONFIDENCEMultiply Your IncomeJurgen Wolff:SEVEN SECRETS OF MARKETING SUCCESSExpert tips, coaching advice, and much, much more!
    • 2 CONTENTS WHAT’S INSIDE Publisher: Jonathan Jay Editor’s Letter 20 MULTIPLY YOUR INCOME Academy Publishing The lawns of a historic home Editor: were the last place I had expected Marie-Louise Cook to see visited by fear but it was there that early Spring morning. Graphic Designer: Like the people who sat at tables David Freshwater around me, I wasn’t looking at Contributors: the building, as splendid as it Dr Susan Jeffers was, but at the peacock that was slowly making its Michael Neill way from table to table, its long train of iridescent Judi Conner feathers dragging across the grass. I wondered if Richard M. Highsmith like me, the other people there were hoping that Tom Stone the strange and beautiful bird would come closer. I Ed Peppitt picked up my camera, hoping to capture its image Jurgen Wolff forever and that’s when I saw the fear. Oriana Tickell de Castello It was there on the young woman’s face. She was Production Manager: sitting at a nearby table and until the peacock Lisa Snape, ALS Designs visited, she’d been laughing and talking with a man 22 THE SEVEN SECRETS OF Contact Address: seated next to her. But as the peacock made its way MARKETING SUCCESS The Academy Club to her side, I saw her shrink back in her chair, away 39-43 Putney High Street from the bird. Curiously, the peacock wouldn’t leave London the woman alone… it returned again and again to SW15 1SP her table and each time, she would visibly flinch at its presence. It got worse… before I left, I saw it Contact Email: reach up and snatch a piece of cake from her plate. team@theacademyclub.com Contact Telephone: Afterwards, I wondered what effect the fear of 0208 789 5676 peacocks has on that woman’s life and especially whether that morning’s close encounter would make matters worse. Will she avoid visiting historic homes ever again? Will zoos be out too? Is she only scared of peacocks or all birds? I appreciated anew 18 DUMP THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE the limits that fear can place on our lives… and how it prevents us from appreciating the magnificence that surrounds us and stops us from reaching our full potential. I also saw how fear returns until we have the courage to face it and move on ourselves. Dr Susan Jeffers, the author of Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway and this month’s cover story, says fear is not a barrier to be leapt over just the once but a constant companion. By overcoming a fear, we have the experience of courage that we can then use to overcome any new fears in the future. Eleanor Roosevelt said something similar: “I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him.” On behalf of the Academy Club Team, may I wish you every courage to face any fear that may be stopping you from having the life you desire. ise Marie-Lou Marie-Louise Cook Editor 10 FEEL HAPPY NOW PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • CONTENTS 3 FREE WEEKEND COACHING COURSES FREE 16 SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE WEEKENDCOVER STORY4 FREE YOURSELF FROM FEARInternational best-selling authorand the woman dubbed ‘The speaking terror a thing of the past by following the expert advice of Richard M. Highsmith, M.S., of The Leader’s Institute. COACHING COURSESQueen of Self-Help’ Dr SusanJeffers explains how to Feel The 18 DUMP THEFear And Do It Anyway®. EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE Tom Stone explains how to create es9 BOOK REVIEWS new dat an enriched life, free of self- sabotaging emotions and fears.10 COACHING SUCCESS – BUSINESS BUILDING r el eas edFEEL HAPPY NOWYou can feel happy whateveryour circumstances, says Michael 20 MULTIPLY YOUR INCOME Publisher Edward Peppitt explains juneNeill, author, radio host, Master how you can easily create multiple 2nd / 3rd June – BrightonNLP Trainer and the man Paul streams of income from your 9th / 10th June – LondonMcKenna describes as ‘the finest coaching.Success Coach in the world today’. 16th / 17th June – Leeds 22 THE SEVEN SECRETS OF 31st June / 1st July – CoventryCOACHING DEVELOPMENTS MARKETING SUCCESS14 NO LIMITS NETWORKINGNetworking, according toPerformance Coach Judi Conner, Author Jurgen Wolff shares seven of his best marketing tips to help you get more business. julyis a must-have skill if you want to 7th / 8th July – Londonexpand your business. She shares BACK PAGE 14th / 15th July – Manchesterher best networking tips that will MY (MEXICO) DAY 21st / 22nd July – Latimerhelp overcome any nerves. When journalist Oriana Tickell de Castello trained as a coach 28th / 29th April – CardiffPERSONAL DEVELOPMENT with The Coaching Academy,16 HOW TO SPEAK WITHCONFIDENCEDoes an invitation to address a and returned to Mexico, she was plagued by self-doubts. Would there be any demand for augustsmall gathering bring you out coaching? She explains what 4th / 5th August – Londonin a cold sweat? Make public happened next. 11th / 12th August – Leeds 18th / 19th August – Latimer with unsurpassed coach training skills and it continues to develop and the coaching deliver high quality courses to meet academy the changing needs of the market. call now to secure you place To discover how your career can 0208 789 5676 The Coaching Academy is the longest benefit from the Coaching Academy, established and most popular coach please log on to www.the-coaching- training provider in the UK and Europe. academy.com or speak to one of our In seven years, it has provided nearly friendly qualified advisors at 12,000 people from 52 countries +44 (0)208 789 5676. MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 4 COVER STORY FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR Dr Susan Jeffers’ trademarked title Feel The Fear And Do It Free Yourself Fear Anyway®* has become so much From a part of our everyday language that it seems incredible it’s only 20 years since the earth- shaking life-affirming manual hit bookshelves. Like all classics, it’s as relevant today and tomorrow as it was when it was arrived on the self-help scene. No wonder that Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® has become a mantra for those who want to lead better lives. By Marie-Louise Cook. Dr Susan Jeffers The woman dubbed the ‘Queen of Self- attending.” So, I put on my coat, and told my Help’ is at home in California the day I call. secretary that I was going to the New School. Unlike British royalty, it’s surprisingly easy She said, “Why?” and I said, “I haven’t a clue.” to get hold of Dr Susan Jeffers – there are no I didn’t even know where it was. I got into a minions, lackeys or gatekeepers to deal with cab, which took me there. “ – when I call, she answers the phone herself and laughs when I am surprised. Laughter is ‘I looked at the bulletin board in the a big part of an interview with Susan Jeffers lobby and saw the Department of Human – another surprise – and in fact, when we Resources and thought, “That feels right.” The things we finish talking, she urges me to go and see So, that’s where I went. Nobody was at the the musical Spamalot, insisting I will love it front desk but there was a woman in the want the most so much that I’ll call her and thank her for the suggestion. It’s just one of the many office to the right and she said to me, “Can I help you?” I swear to you, I don’t know are often the excellent recommendations she provides where the words came from but I said, “I’m things we during the interview. here to teach a course on fear.” most fear ” Personal Success: How did you come up with the phrase ‘Feel the Fear And Do It ‘Here’s the shock: she looked at me and said, “I can’t believe it! I have been searching approaching. Anyway®’? for somebody to teach a course on fear and today is the last day to put it into the Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘For 10 years, I was the catalogue and I have to leave in 15 minutes.” Executive Director of The Floating Hospital Her name was Ruth Van Doren and both of a lot about not letting rejection stop you. in Manhattan [which provides healthcare for us were in a state of shock. She asked for my Nobody wanted to buy it. I had agents and the poor in New York]. During that same credentials of course and then said, “Quick, publishers reject it and I guess my best time, I attended workshop after workshop write 75 words about this course that you’re rejection letter or worst, depending on how seeking ways to push through the many going to teach,” which I did. And on the spot, you look at it, was from an English publisher fears I had at the time. In those 10 years, I I entitled it ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’. who said, “Lady Di could be bicycling nude, learned so much. giving this book away and nobody would“ ‘It was then that I realised the power of read it.”’ (Laughs) following your intuition. First, I hadn’t set out to teach a course on fear. If I had set And yet, you recovered from that! With the proper tools, out to teach a course on fear, I would have gone to Hunter College where I got my Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘I recovered. I think it’s a we can push through undergraduate degree or Columbia University great story for people who are worried about ” all our fears. where I got my Doctorate – I wouldn’t have gone to an unfamiliar place, the New School. rejection. If you feel good about what you are doing and feel it can help the world in I didn’t even know where it was. some way, then push on.’ ‘One day, I was sitting in my office and the thought came into my head “Go down to the ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ was a 13- Many people would have given up at that New School for Social Research.” Where the week course and I taped it. Again, intuition. point. thought came from, I really didn’t know. At the I taped it with a little handheld recorder so I time, I was taking a workshop about intuition, had the whole 13 weeks on tape.’ Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Actually, I did put the which suggested I pay attention to and act book away for a few years. It was in a drawer upon the thoughts that came into my head. And did you then think, ‘Aha, this will be a and one day I was cleaning out the drawer good book’? and I pulled it out – you can see how often ‘I said to myself, “Okay, why should I be I clean my drawers (laughs) – in any case, I going down there? I have no idea – maybe Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes. Later, I tried to sell looked over it and I thought, “This book has they have a great workshop that I should be the book. Boy, that experience taught me something important to say and will help the PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • COVER STORY 5 FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR Are there still things in your life that you fear? Dr Susan Jeffers Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘When I was a little girl, my parents didn’t have much money. My mother was always telling me that money doesn’t grow on trees. (Laughs) I think I’ve always had a fear about not having money but I think that in my case, it’s been a very positive factor because it’s pushed me out there. I say to myself, “Okay, if I don’t feel the fear and keep pushing the manuscripts out there I’m not going to help people. Nor am I going to be able to earn money.” I’ve used fear in a positive way. ‘Fear is such a common thing. If we could just accept that fear is part of life and then collect the tools to help us push past all our fears, we can all become stronger, more loving people. That’s the key. With the proper tools, we can push through all our fears. ‘One of my own plunging-into-fear things is to take more time off. I’m a workaholic and I am learning to take more time off to relax and play. We’re coming to the UK this summer for a vacation, not to work.’ (Laughs) It’s a nice fear to have to confront. Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes but it is fearful. When you are constantly working and you start pulling away, you feel, “Ah, got to get back, got to get back.” It’s just change, something new, that creates the fear. “world so I am going to get it out there.” saved my life”… I think, “Wow, I don’t know The only way to get what it is, but I feel blessed to have been rid of the fear of‘That time I succeeded. I thought later that able to help.”’maybe it wasn’t that the world wasn’t ready doing something isfor it. Maybe in the beginning, I wasn’t ready You survived divorce and later breast ”for it to get out there. When I finally did get cancer and you flourished. What other to go out and do it.it out there, I was ready.’ fearful events have you faced and overcome in your life?What was the reception to it? ‘My husband and I are now working Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘I think all of us feel together. It’s wonderful. We have startedDr Susan Jeffers: ‘Oh very, very, very fear almost every day of our lives about our own publishing company, Jeffers Press.positive. People around the world just something or other. Once you realise that We’re not only publishing my books butpicked it up. It’s now in 100 countries, 36 fear isn’t something that will stop you and other people’s books too. Talk about “feelinglanguages and it’s celebrating its twentieth that there are tools to make you feel really the fear and doing it anyway” – it was fearfulyear. I get mail every single day from all over better about yourself and that you can to plunge into a new business, but I’m sothe world and I have to tell you, I sit here in handle whatever life brings you, the fear proud of the books by other people thattears. My husband [media entrepreneur and really doesn’t matter. I’ve had fears about we’ve published so far. I’ve written 18 booksTV producer Mark Shelmerdine] says, “Oh, money, fears about losing people that I love, so that if a new book of mine comes out, Iyou got another fan letter!” fears when I was raising my children … I’ve think, “That’s nice.” But when we published had fears about doing a talk, which was a the wonderful Shortcut to a Miracle, which‘I’ve had people tell me that it saved their big fear, and over the years, I have pushed is a timely book about the Laws of thelives – they were contemplating suicide through that one. What I’ve learned is the Universe, including the Law of Attraction,– and I go to the book and flick through more you do something you are afraid of we went to Chicago for the book launch thatit thinking, “What is in here that would do doing, the less you are afraid of doing it. the two authors had created. It was theirthat?” I think the advice I give is very good. That’s one of my five Fear Truths…the only first book and to be there watching theirObviously, it worked for me so well and I way to get rid of the fear of doing something excitement filled my heart with joy.knew it worked for others but to say, “It is to go out and do it.’ I thought, “That’s fabulous!”’ MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 6 COVER STORY FREE YOURSELF FROM FEARWhat exercises would you recommend We can do our very, very, very best butpeople do when they are confronted by there is so much that we cannot control.fear, perhaps when they are about to One thing we can control is our reactiondeliver a presentation? to whatever happens to us. That gives us incredible power. We have a choice: are weDr Susan Jeffers: ‘On my website going to feel miserable about something[www.susanjeffers.com], there’s a booklet that doesn’t go our way or are we going toI composed about affirmations that’s free say, “Okay, this happened. How can I learnto download. I love affirmations. People from it? How can I grow from it? How can Ican use positive affirmations to overcome make it a triumph?” Those three questionsthe negative talk in their heads – the are very powerful. I’ve learned that if you“Chatterbox” I call it. Affirmations are really change your thinking, you can change yourquite incredible. Someone going out on a experience of life.’stage can repeat the affirmation, “Whateverhappens, I’ll handle it.” So it’s about changing your state of mind if you’re feeling worried or scared?‘They could also say “I’m giving my loveaway.” They are giving something away rather Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes. It’s also importantthan expecting something back. That’s a very to “Let go of the outcome.” I don’t meanpowerful one and it means if some people don’t work to do the best you can. First, itlike you, great, if some people don’t, great. helps us to grow to do the very best thatYou’re just giving your love away. we can. If it doesn’t work out the way we want it to – that’s just life. We grow from‘I remember I had to give a talk at Madison it, move on and it’s part of what makes usSquare Gardens and there were thousands strong. For example, my divorce from myand thousands of people in the audience. I first husband… it was very painful but oh,was there with a number of other speakers I learnt from it. It was probably one of theand each of us was to speak for an hour and most enriching parts of my life becausea half. As I was about to walk onto the stage, I decided, “Okay, this has happened. I’mmy husband gave me a big kiss and said, going to become stronger.” And I certainly“You’re going to be the best.” That didn’t did become stronger.feel right so I whispered to him, “Thank you,honey, and I appreciate it, but the next time, ‘In my books, I always combine the twojust tell me I’ll be good enough.” And I felt words “power” and “love” and I think therelief. It’s the competition; the pushing to more confidence we have in ourselves tobe the best rather than just giving away our handle whatever happens, the more lovinglove that makes us anxious and puts us at we become and the less needy we are. Ina disadvantage. If we could all be there just my love book, The Feel The Fear Guide Togiving away our love, that would make us all Lasting Love (Vermillion, 2005) I wrote thatfeel wonderful. neediness is so destructive in love; it’s also so destructive in work and with friends. The‘I love the example of the Broadway actress, more confidence that we have in ourselvesMary Martin, who used to peek at her to handle whatever happens, the more weaudience before she went out on to the stage can love. We can let go of the destructiveand project the words, “I love you… I love emotions of anger, the need to control,you… I love you…” and it would take away jealousy, and so on. We can let go and sayall her fear. Compare that to another actress to ourselves, “Well, I’m going to love. Nowho hadn’t learned this wonderful tool and games. If this person doesn’t return my love,would throw up before every performance.’ I know I can handle it all. There are so many“ beautiful people to love.”’ Surely, being detached from the results encourages a sense of helplessness or Your fear is passiveness about your ability to achieve anything? your workshop.That ties in with your idea of “embracinguncertainty”, of not having expectations ” Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘I’m not talking about detachment. You have to allow your pain. When a relationship ends, it’s painful. Allow the tears knowing you will get to the other side. That’s what’s important. It’s not aboutabout the outcome. denial. It’s not pseudo-positive thinking; it’s acknowledging the pain. It’s not the cryingDr Susan Jeffers: ‘I feel expectations of, “No, how can this happen to me?” It’s thefor the most part create so much of our crying of, “Yes, this happened to me and Iunhappiness. Because we’re not in control will make something wonderful out of it.of what happens in the outside world. I will ultimately get to the other side.” PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • COVER STORY 7 FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR‘You have to learn that whatever happens is people, I think it helps them throughout until it becomes relatively automatic. Thenfor your highest good. There’s a prayer in their lives. learn some more. It’s a life-long process.my latest newsletter which says, “No matterwhat happens in my life, I trust that it’s ‘My friend, Donna Gradstein and I wrote a ‘I was talking to my daughter one day andfor my highest good and no matter what children’s book called I Can Handle It (Jeffers I was complaining about something andhappens in the lives of those I love, I trust Press, 2006) and there are 50 stories about she said, “Mom, go and read your book.”that it’s for their highest good.” You do your little kids facing various problems in their (Laughs) Yes, it’s a lifelong process.best and you let go. That’s not helplessness lives and handling them. On one page is thebecause you cannot control everything out specific problem where the child in the story ‘Learning the art of appreciation is also sothere but you can absolutely control your says, “But I can handle it.” On the opposite important. Strangely, I learnt that when Ireaction to it. You can appreciate and feel page, the child handles it and ends with worked with the poor in Manhattan. So manyblessed with what you have or you can make the words “See, I can handle it. Whatever of them appreciated everything they had inyourself miserable.’ happens, I can handle it.” By the end of the their lives. They were remarkably giving and“ book, the children will have heard or read it was an amazing experience to be with the phrase “I can handle it” 150 times. If the them. parent is reading the book to the child, then I call relationships the parent says the same affirmation ‘I also think it’s important to have “friendly” “I can handle it” 150 times. Powerful for both friends and what I mean by that is not to the greatest parent and child! have “Moan and Groan Society” friends – if you are with people who are always ” workshops going. ‘Repetition is important. You can read a self- complaining, you want to go home and take help book and get a lot out of it but unless a shower. Quite honestly, I dropped the you follow through and use the exercises in friends who were very negative. I used to beWhat have you learnt about courage and your daily life, it’s not going to make much one of them but now that I tend to be a verythe most effective ways of instilling or of a difference. positive person, I love to be with people whounleashing that quality in other people? are also positive and who laugh a lot. There ‘I’ve been teaching this material for 25 years are certainly a lot of them out there and thatDr Susan Jeffers: ‘Courage to me is and I still have affirmations to remind me is wonderful.pushing through fear. There are so many because the internal “Chatterbox” is alwaystools to help us do that, many of which there. Negativity comes into our lives all the ‘I also know that saying “thank you” a lotare included in my books. For example, time, so we need reminders. I wish that they helps you focus on abundance because youexpanding your comfort zone. Every day, did teach confidence at a much earlier age constantly realise how much beauty is injust do a little something that you are a little by simply letting people know that they have your life.’uncomfortable doing because of fear. Do an immense amount of power within them toit because you then expand what you are handle whatever happens.’ How do you suggest a coach bestcomfortable with. That’s very important. supports someone who is facing a fear? What other techniques do you recommend‘Also, never see yourself as a victim. We to help people feel more joyful, happy or Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Don’t let them take thehave to learn to take responsibility for our abundant? role of a victim. Show them that they canreactions to what happens to us in life. We be the creator of their experience. Thathave to use the tools to create a very rich Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Humour is so important. they can handle their reaction to whateverlife so that if something goes bad in one On my desk, I have a statue of a laughing happens to them. In fact, I say in one of myarea there’s a whole other part of our lives Buddha. I might be sitting there lamenting books that if you seek counselling in anythat will sustain us. For example, when my about something and I look at my laughing way and the counsellor supports the victimdaughter was in her twenties, she broke Buddha and realise that he doesn’t care that mentality and says, for example, “Oh youup with somebody and she called me and he’s fat (laughs), he doesn’t go to the gym, poor thing, if only your mother had stayedshe was crying. She was very upset. All of a he doesn’t care that he’s alone or poor… home instead of working” then run away assudden, she stopped crying and said, “Oh he’s happy and he makes me laugh about fast as you can. It’s important to be gratefulI’ve got to go – I’m volunteering today at my situation and put it in perspective. I think that you were fed, you were dressed, andHabitat for Humanity. Bye Mom.” She had laughter is so important. I laugh a lot. you went to school and then move on tosomething meaningful in her life besides her create a beautiful life for yourself. Stoprelationship. So, her life wasn’t empty. ‘You have to learn to laugh, even about using other people as an excuse for living an the serious things in life. For example, I unhappy life.’‘I have tools in all my books – I think in had a mastectomy and I never had a breastEmbracing Uncertainty (Hodder Mobius, reconstruction but I have a prostheses. I joke You talk about creating a ‘wondering’ life2003), there are 42. They are all meant to that my husband is the only one who can instead of a ‘hoping’ life. Is there really agive us strength and from that strength, take his wife’s breasts with him wherever difference?there’s the love. I think that loving yourself he goes. He can put one in his suitcase ifis not about being selfish. It comes from he wants.’ (Laughs) ‘Humour is a very, very Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Oh, yes. Hoping has anunderstanding that you make a difference in important thing. expectation behind it. “I hope I get marriedthe world. That helps us to love. I think that by the time I’m 30.” If you say, “I wonderwhen people don’t do good things – certain ‘I think commitment to learn the tools, to if I’ll be married by the time I’m 30” youpoliticians, for example – it’s because they use them in your life every single day is become the observer. You’re watching yourdon’t understand how important they are important. Someone said to me, “You know, life and you’re not caught up in the drama.in this world. The point is the more we I read and I read and nothing takes.” I said, You have the understanding that whateverunderstand we make a difference, the better “Nothing takes until you take it. You have to happens, you’ll handle it. I see a hugewe behave. When you teach that to young take one exercise that you love and use it difference between the two.’ MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 8 COVER STORY FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR That sounds like a Buddhist teaching. Is that ‘It took me years to decide to leave my job, form of contentment gene within them that something that has influenced your life? which was such a wonderful, successful job, allows them to do that and that’s beautiful. but I felt I wasn’t growing any more. I’d been Everyone is different, just as with parenting: Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Yes, it has. I love there eight years and it was time to move I know there are women who love it. I the Buddhist philosophy among other on. It took me two years to become ready tease my son that he’s responsible for my philosophies. I’m not a religious person. to do that. I remember they had given me a Bachelor’s Degree, my Master’s Degree, and I am a spiritual person and by that, I mean 10th anniversary party and I felt bad because my Ph.D.… (laughing) anything to get out of all the tools that I create or have learnt are I knew the day was going to come when the house. There are people who are content about moving from the weakest part of who I would leave. A couple of months later, I with it; I just wasn’t. It was fearful going I am to the strongest, most loving part of woke up one morning and I knew it was the back to school. But I did it anyway. It’s all who I am. That to me is a spiritual process. day to do it. about learning and growing – we’re all on a It’s to live as much as you can in the arena journey and we do our best to take what’s of the Higher Self, the best of who you are. ‘You have to trust yourself, ask your in our lives and do something creative and I have a vision of a light, an energy that we subconscious mind what’s the best step to loving with it.’ can tune into which can guide us. What I take and then forget about it. Automatically believe so much about intuition is tuning you seem to move into the right direction if What advice would you give someone who into the energy that draws you to what is you have trust in yourself. is struggling with fear? Is it worth ‘taking best for your life.’ the plunge’? ‘I was fine when I did let go and I resigned When you confront fears, do you believe from my job. I had saved a lot of money. Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘At your own pace. Your in jumping in headfirst or dipping your I had met the man who would become my fear is your workshop. If you’re afraid of toe in the water? second husband and I moved to England to leaving the house and getting a job, that’s be with him. I was there for three years. That your workshop and so you have to learn the Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Whatever works for was where I originally tried to sell my first tools that help to do it. you as a human being. There are no rules. book. Nobody over there was into self-help Whenever somebody says they have THE at the time. I come and speak there now and ‘Everything in our lives can teach us answer, I’m suspicious. In Embracing I have to tell you there is such a dramatic something. I think if we can see it that way Uncertainty, I talk about the whole concept difference in the openness of the people in it really helps: what lessons am I going to of “I don’t know”. We don’t know anything the UK. When I was there originally, there learn? For example, I call relationships the for sure – it is all based on our experience, were no self-help books, just psychology greatest workshops going. As I explain in our learning, but it could change. I talk books by Freud, Jung and so on. The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love, if a about using the word “maybe” in Embracing problem comes up in a relationship, don’t Uncertainty. So you say, “This is the best way ‘When I couldn’t sell my book, I said to my be upset. It’s a great opportunity! Say to to do it… maybe.” Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. partner (now husband), “You know, I love yourself, “This is something I have to work you but I’m leaving. I have to go back to the on within me.” Pick up the mirror instead ‘As a coach, it’s important to understand United States where they’re more open to of the magnifying glass [to look at yourself that. You give people tools and they move self-help books.” Thankfully, he moved with rather than the other person]. “What is it forward at their own pace. Before I divorced me – he was a television producer – he’d about me that can be changed? Do I need my first husband, it took me two years to produced I Claudius and other wonderful to get out of the relationship? Do I need have a readiness and I think unconsciously television shows. So, we moved to Los to react differently to certain things that I was doing little things to prepare myself Angeles. The book sold within the year. There are happening? Do I need to become more – making new friends, getting new interests was energy behind it. My new agent loved it.’ loving?” “ – so by the time I decided I was going to get divorced, I was ready. When you made a commitment to it then“ it sold? Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Exactly. Commitment You have to trust yourself. ” and readiness. Afterwards, when Mark If a problem moved over to the US to be with me, we got comes up, it’s married. Our relationship is phenomenal. I feel so blessed. My daughter came to me not bad: it’s just on her wedding day and she looked at Mark ‘If a problem comes up, it’s not bad: it’s and me and said, “Thank you for showing us just your clue that something needs to be your clue that what love looks like.”’ learned. To me, that’s a powerful way to go something needs Is fear a guide to someone’s life purpose? through life.’ ” to be learned. Dr Susan Jeffers: ‘Very often. First, every FURTHER INFORMATION time you try something new you’re going to experience fear. The things we want the For more information about the work ‘People say, “I don’t know why I can’t leave most are often the things we most fear of Dr Susan Jeffers and to receive her my husband/wife, it’s a bad relationship.” approaching. We just have to learn the tools monthly newsletter, please visit her The answer is, “It’s because you’re not for pushing through it. website at www.susanjeffers.com. ready.” What you have to do as a coach is to *Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® by provide more and more tools to help people ‘Some people are very happy in a very Susan Jeffers, 20th anniversary edition, become stronger. One day, they will be laid back life and they don’t need to push published in 2007 by Vermillion. ready… maybe. (Laughs) through things. They must have some PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • REVIEWS 9 BOOK REVIEWSBOOK REVIEW BOOK REVIEW BOOK REVIEWThe Trainer’s Toolkit Excellence in Coaching – The Industry The One Moment Master– Bringing Brain- Guide Edited by John Passmore (Kogan (Stillness for PeopleFriendly Learning Page, 2006) on the Go) by MartinTo Life Boroson (Rider, Randomby Kimberley Hare Books and reports about ‘best practice’ House Group, 2007).and Larry Reynolds run the danger of being bought but never Reviewed by Diana(Crown House read and whose real usefulness doesn’t Theodores, PhD.Publishing, 2005) extend beyond propping up wonky tables. Worthy but dull. Thankfully, this Martin Boroson invites usIf you are involved is NOT one of those dust-gatherers… on a step-by-step discoveryin training others it’s crammed with cutting-edge ideas about being in the momentand want to make in the field of workplace coaching that and the profoundlyyour programmes, will be useful for student coaches and empowering imprint forworkshops or seminars established practitioners alike. living this offers. Themore engaging and effective, subtitle of the book, Stillness forthen get this book. It explains in a lively, It has contributions from coaching People on the Go provides the clue to thefun way how brain-friendly learning industry figures including Anthony Grant, heart of the content: this is a book about(accelerated learning) works and then John Whitmore, Ian McDermott, Graham how to achieve the remarkable benefits ofprovides practical advice on how to Alexander, Cary Cooper, Katherine Tulpa, meditation in as short a time as possible.incorporate it into your training. Peter Hawkins, Michael Neenan, Alex Szabo, Phillipe Rosinski, Carol Wilson, He understands our plight – that because weBrain-friendly learning, say the authors, Allard de Jong, Hetty Einzig, Frank are tyrannised by time and obsessed with timeis not about techniques and gimmicks Bresser, Maria Alicia Pena and Geoffrey management we therefore imagine ourselvesand putting on a bit of baroque music or Abbot, and covers an overview of as time poor. He posits that meditation isplaying fun games. It’s a movement to coaching, coaching within organisations, not about how long we need to be still or torecover the real joy of learning – ethics, supervision and organisational exercise transcendental prowess but rather,combining sizzle with substance – issues as well as how short a time it can take us to be aware,and helping people become even more practical information receptive and fully alive to the moment.outstanding at the work they have on running achosen to do. coaching practice. With a constantly supportive, down to earth The book also and witty voice, he eases us into the benefits contains information of meditation (such as calmness, self- on behavioural awareness, clarity of thought, compassion,WHAT DO YOU THINK? coaching, solution- radiance and energy) in just the time it takesHave you read a personal development book, focused coaching, to inhale and exhale – a moment.listened to an audio programme or attended NLP coaching,a seminar and want to share your views on transpersonal So how can we be in the moment? Borosonit? Tell us what you did or didn’t like and coaching, integrative takes us through a sequence of practicalwhether you’d recommend it. We can withholdyour name and details if you prefer. Email: coaching and inter- exercises, beginning with what he calls theteam@theacademyclub.com cultural coaching. ‘basic minute’ meditation and culminating in one ‘moment’. Along the way, we experience ‘the portable minute’, ‘the energisingTHE MIND GYM minute’, ‘the surprise minute’, and ‘the bonus minute’. I have started using someFive ways to create your own luck by The Mind Gym of the exercises and concepts from this book with clients in performance coaching 1. Be proactive. Don’t wait for things to happen. sessions as well as in group programmes Go out and seize the opportunities. in communication, presenting and leading 2. Talk to people. The more information you gather the teams. The relaxed receptivity that results in more likely you are to find that lucky break. People ‘being present’ and being ‘in the moment’ need to know what you are looking for in order to tell transforms anxiety into curiosity and fears of you where it is. being in the spotlight into a state of genuine 3. View failure as a way to learn – many great people dialogue and participation with others. have learnt through a range of mistakes. 4. Don’t dwell on past misfortunes. Engulf yourself in The beauty of this book is its simplicity and positive vibes – if you think of yourself as unlucky it the premise that we have everything we need is likely to come true. ‘Luckily’ this works the other right here and right now to wake up. way around too. 5. Share your good luck. Congratulate others who contributed. I’ve read The One Moment Master a few If people think they will gain from your good luck then they times now and it delights and instructs me will be more inclined to make it happen again. more with each reading. It is a cool, wise, and reassuring touch on our furrowed andGive your mind a workout and visit The Mind Gym for tips, effortful collective brow.information and techniques at www.themindgym.com. MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 10 PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU FEEL HAPPY NOW Feel Happy Now You can feel happy whatever your The solutions he discovered he now shares happiness when a particular condition or circumstances, so says Michael with thousands of people around the world, state is reached (when we have X amount Neill, author, radio host, Master NLP through his books, radio show, teachings in our savings account, are with the man or Trainer and the man Paul McKenna and private coaching. woman of our dreams, are a certain body weight, or our favourite sports team is at the describes as ‘the finest Success Coach ‘I have refined these solutions with my top of the league or whatever else we decide in the world today’. He talks about students and clients over the past 16 must happen before we allow ourselves to happiness, success and coaching. years and tested each one of them in the feel ‘happy’). By Marie-Louise Cook. laboratory of my experience. Over that time, I have become happier and happier,’ he says ‘If all there was to happiness was getting at the beginning of his latest book, Feel what you wanted, the richest and most Michael Happy Now (Hay House, 2007). outwardly successful people in our society would be the happiest,’ he says. ‘But it only Neill The reason many of us never get to experience happiness on a regular basis (or takes a quick glance through the pages of today’s newspapers before you are reading even at all) is that we’ve been looking in the about the latest miserable millionaire or wrong place, chasing a ‘thing’ that doesn’t celebrity scandal. The reality is simply this: To write books about how to ‘have what you actually exist. your happiness does not depend on getting want’ and how to ‘feel happy now’ is a bold or having what you want.’ move, especially when the author confesses ‘Happiness is the process of creating and he spent most of his teenage years on a experiencing good feelings in your body The second myth is that is impossible to manic-depressive rollercoaster ride that and mind, moment by moment,’ he says. be happy in certain circumstances. ‘While came close to an abrupt suicidal end on at ‘When you recognise happiness as a process, it may or may not be possible to be happy“ least one occasion. not a thing, you realise you can do it or not do it, you can get better at it, and you can ultimately master it.’ When you recognise His book is about ‘unreasonable happiness’, happiness as a process... your ability to feel happy not only when you realise you can do it something wonderful happens (you get a promotion, win the lottery, and fall in love or not do it, you can get with the man or woman of your dreams) but better at it, and you can also when something not so great happens ” (you lose the job, have no money and are ultimately master it. dumped by that special person). Its aim is to help you to become happier – to feel more good feelings and to be more comfortable That he climbed unaided out of that morass with the bad ones. of self-inflicted misery and is now a huge success – coach to a bunch of Hollywood One of the three great stars and top CEOs, author of two best-selling myths surrounding books*, host of a weekly radio show with over ‘happiness’ is that 60,000 listeners, and the trainer of future we will only NLP practitioners alongside Paul McKenna experience and NLP’s founder, Richard Bandler – is surely proof enough that the techniques he discovered in his quest for happiness do work. As a miserable teenager, it would have been so easy to accept a chemical cocktail of prescribed happiness – the hospital staff were very willing to do the honours – but thankfully he made the decision to look for other ways to feel better. PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU 11 FEEL HAPPY NOWall the time, it is certainly possible to behappy at any time,’ says Michael. ‘In fact, Question & Answer Session Michael Neill: ‘You’ve just hit on theeach one of those situations you think of as fundamental myth of coaching. Coaching‘making’ you unhappy is simply an area of Personal Success: How do you define is not therapy. Coaching is not saying, “I’myour life in which you think that it would be coaching? broken, fix me.” Coaching is saying, “I wantinappropriate to feel happy (for example, at more.” So you’re saying I shouldn’t havea funeral) or that feeling happy would be in Michael Neill: ‘I can define coaching in a Happiness Coach because I’m alreadysome way bad for you.’ the two questions I ask all my clients in a happy? If I never, ever, ever was stuck then dozen different ways nearly every time we maybe it wouldn’t make sense to have aThe third myth is that unhappiness is good for speak… Question One: What do you want? coach but if there’s a situation where I’mus. ‘When we start to justify our bad feelings Question Two: What stops you? stuck, to be able to have someone to coachas being good for us (or worse still, our me and half an hour later not be stuckgood feelings as being bad for us), we keep ‘If we want to be able to create more of that’s really cool. Sometimes somebodyourselves stuck in a self-fulfilling rut. Ironically, what we want in our lives, it is incredibly else is better suited to help than I am. Thatthe state of discomfort most of us put important to begin by identifying what it is trusting myself.ourselves into to better deal with our problems is. As I say in my book, You Can Have Whatis the worst possible state in which to deal You Want, “When you get really clear and ‘One of the misunderstandings of thewith them. Like pouring fuel on a fire, meeting honest about what you want, everything in coaching world is that you’re supposeddifficulties with anger, fear and sadness tends the Universe conspires to help you get it.”’ to get to a point where you don’t needto make things more, well difficult.’ coaching any more. No, with therapy I“ Do you have a coach? think you should get to a point where you don’t need it any more because it’s about Michael Neill: ‘I have three or four at all taking something that’s not working and Your happiness times. They change according to what making it work. I love having a team that’s there for me when I need it. When I don’t I want to work on and what I want to does not depend on develop. At the moment, I’m working need them, I don’t use them.’ with Steve Chandler, who is a best-selling getting or having author in his own right (The Story of You) How long have you been coaching? what you want. ” and has done that whole circuit which is the world that I’m beginning to move Michael Neill: ‘I started coaching in the into. I hired him because I want to work sense that I called it ‘coaching’ in 1996. with somebody who’s gone through what Before that, I was doing therapy, which I didThe Formula For Happiness I’m going through so there’s an element from 1990. I have been acting since I was a of mentorship as well as coaching. He’s kid. I came to England to go to drama schoolTo feel happy now and whenever you want also somebody who when I tell him what’s in 1987. I started acting professionally infor the rest of your life, you need to give going on with me, doesn’t go, “Oh my 1990 and acted full-time actually.’yourself better feelings, tell yourself better God, really? That’s so cool. How do I getstories and act on your inner knowing, he that?” He’s already a little further down Did you do an NLP course?says. ‘The better you feel, the better stories that path from me.you tend to tell yourself about your life. The Michael Neill: ‘I did every NLP course I couldbetter stories you tell yourself about your ‘I have a Spiritual Coach named Peter find. The thing is I wasn’t doing it to becomelife, the easier it is to do what you know is Fenner and a (for lack of a better word) a coach or therapist or anything.right for you. The more you do what you Integrity Coach named Bill Cumming. It’s I did it because I was absolutely messed up inknow is right for you, the better you feel. interesting not only for myself but how I the head and NLP was the first thing I came can bring the essence of what they do – in across that really helped me – I was not a‘Whatever we do consistently, we get better non-threatening ways – into the work that I happy guy. I had no reason to be which madeat. If we practise anger, we get better at do with clients. it worse. I used to beat myself up about it, being angry. If we practise shutting down “Oh you’ve got no reason. You should just get our emotions, we get better at feeling ‘I also occasionally do one-on-one sessions over it. Your life is fine.” But I was horribly, depressed. And if we practise with people who’ve proven to be useful horribly depressed and paranoid. giving ourselves better as touchstones over the years – one’s a feelings, telling ourselves Happiness Coach named Mandy Evans ‘I always thought of the teaching and better stories and acting and one is a Psychic Coach named Lynn therapy as a sort of filling in between acting on our inner knowing, Robinson. jobs and then in 1995, I worked 365 days we will get better as an actor on stage, radio and television, and better at feeling ‘It’s all grist for the mill. The more I learn, and I really missed teaching and working happy.’ the more I can then share with clients.’ with people. That was when I decided to become a coach. I still acted but it was no Why do you have a Happiness Coach? longer the day job – I do both now. In your book, You Can Have What You Want, you say, ‘I’m in the business of ‘When I moved to the States [to pursue having a wonderful life…’ From that, I an acting career], I continued to do both would have thought you would already – I did a TV pilot, I did some cartoons be happy. (Scooby Doo) – then I just hit a point where MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 12 PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU FEEL HAPPY NOW I realised I wasn’t getting the same buzz problems but as it happens, it was slightly ‘wonderful life’ thing is the one thing that off acting that I used to. By then I loved less interesting to me because it wasn’t all of my clients want but they define that being in Hollywood, I loved working with my world. This is my world – I remember completely differently.’ Hollywood folk, so it made sense for me driving through one of the canyons in to be in LA in a different way. I still do Hollywood and a client phoning me and What do you do when someone is stuck voiceovers and act from time to time, I saying, “I’ve got a meeting with [film and refuses to move on? did some a couple of weeks ago, but I director Steven] Spielberg tomorrow, don’t chase it anymore. If it comes and if can you come and help me prep?” I was Michael Neill: ‘If they already had it I’m interested, I’ll take it.’ so happy whereas when I was mostly together, most of them wouldn’t have working with business clients, I’d get a hired me. It’s like people shouldn’t run Do you use NLP in your coaching? call, “We’ve got a merger meeting with ‘Procrastination’ workshops and expect IBM tomorrow, come and help us prep” people to turn up on time; people Michael Neill: ‘Yes, funnily enough I and I’d go, “Sure.” It’s the same thing but shouldn’t run ‘From Poverty to Wealth’ wouldn’t necessarily say it’s even the one of them was glamorous, exciting and workshops and expect people to not dominant mode. Sometimes when fun and the other one was okay. hassle them about payment. people first talk to me and they know my background, there is a tendency for them ‘It still is – I still work with people in ‘Many of my clients are extremely to think, “Oh, he’s going to see inside my business. They’ve told me the thing they comfortable and they want me because brain every time we speak.” If something’s like about me is that I’m not impressed. they want more or because they want me up and that’s an appropriate thing to do I don’t work with anyone who at some on their team. It’s not like a surprise if then of course I’ll do that – everything I point isn’t willing to face that. I don’t they are stuck.’ do is informed by that skillset but it’s not pretend – it doesn’t work. It’s less a moral necessarily the primary technique I use. stance than a practical one. Lying doesn’t What would your client have to do or get you very far and lying to your coach, not do for you to fire them? ‘I had a client this week who said, “Look, which everyone does, is a great way to I know we normally talk about business stay stuck. Michael Neill: ‘If they’re continuously but I’m scared to get in the car. I wound saying one thing and doing another and up driving to this business meeting at 30 ‘I got two emails last night from clients I’ve called them on it and it hasn’t shifted, miles an hour because I was so freaked. – one from the States and one from at that point, I say, “Okay, I’m not up for Can we work on that?” So, we did that so Denmark just coming clean about stuff. this.” It’s not even, “Call me when you get she could drive to her meetings. That’s All I had said on the phone was, “There’s it together” – it’s that I have better things fine – it’s just part of the service.’ clearly something else going on. If and to do with my life. I really do. when you’re ready to talk about it, it’s“ probably worth it.” ‘Very few people can stay stuck if you’re willing to confront them. If I’m willing ‘I had an idea what the problems were and to say to somebody, “Look, clearly your This idea of not as it happens, I was right but boom, they husband is cheating on you and you’re giving advice comes went there and now we can really start. not willing to look at that – I don’t care but it seems to be getting in the way of from some bizarre ‘We get so used to putting the right face us talking about your relationship. Do you idea that your clients out but usually that’s what’s getting in want to talk about this or not?” At that the way of us getting anywhere.’ point, they either tell me to get lost or are so pathetic and they tell me the truth or a little bit of the helpless that if you How long do your clients stay working truth. with you? tell them what to do ‘I think the worse advice coaches get is ” they have to do it. Michael Neill: ‘I’ve been coaching some people for years and years and years, to not give advice. It amuses me no end because that’s like saying, “Okay, I want but on average it’s three months to a you to go in and fight but I want you to year. That’s because of the way that tie one arm behind your back.” I work: in the short term, it’s more Are the problems your famous clients intensive with regularly scheduled calls ‘What I do think is great advice is this: have any different from those of but after that a lot of people like to keep don’t expect your clients to follow your ‘normal’ people? me on their team the way they keep advice. I don’t give advice because I think a lawyer on the team. They pay me a my clients should follow it – I give advice Michael Neill: ‘Human beings are human retainer and use me when they need me because I think it’s going to provoke a beings, they want to be happy, they want and it works for them and for me. response – and that response may be to great relationships, they want to have tell me to “f*** off” – which is great – or more than enough money, they want ‘I’ve always had a couple of very simple it may be, “That fits with what I’ve been to feel successful, to be admired. When criteria for whom I coach. I have to look thinking” or it may be to say, “What do I was primarily working with business forward to talking to them each week you think about this?” To not be allowed executives, it was the same set of and they have to be able to pay me. The to give advice, that’s weird.’ PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU 13 FEEL HAPPY NOWHow much do you charge? to do it. No they don’t. They’ll do exactly to help you clarify your thinking. Where what the hell they want to do. And if you it stops being useful is when you startMichael Neill: ‘I charge US$7,500 treat them like people who are capable staying up nights thinking, “I don’ta quarter (about £3,800). That’s for 12 and able, guess what, they are. know – is this person my niche? Youweeks of coaching. Usually I’ll do some know, I’d love to work with them but Ilonger sessions in the first week or ‘Don’t be afraid to love them. That’s a lot can’t because they’re not in my niche.”two so we can get to know each other of what makes human interaction work. It’s that point where it becomes the newand build momentum, and then go to It’s okay. There’s nothing weird in that, rule. It would be a shame to not work witha weekly half-hour session. I’m also there’s nothing wrong in that. If somebody your perfect client because they didn’t fitavailable by email and for extra phone loves you and you know it, and somebody your ‘perfect client profile’.check-ins as needed. My point of view is believes in you and you know it, you’rethat you hire me to be available when you going to walk through walls for them. So, ‘On our Coach Mastery Workshop, myneed me. That’s not to say I’m going to do it. If you prefer being bullied – do it. friend Michele Lisenbury Christensenbe at your beck and call but if between I will bully the hell out of my clients but and I identified about 40 strategies thatsessions something comes up and you it’s in context of loving kindness and in a coaches can use to build a practice thatreally need a chat, call me. If I can’t talk context of, I know they can do it. Do I ever are completely different depending onto you, I won’t. That’s the deal I have. get that wrong? I’m sure I do and they’ll what the person’s skillset is. We say, “IfIt’s a retainer. If somebody abused that usually say, “Ouch” and I’ll stop. you like doing these kinds of things, thisand started calling all the time, then is a good strategy for you. If you don’t,I probably wouldn’t work with them ‘It’s not rocket science – let them be the this is a crap strategy for you.”anymore but none of my clients ever expert on their own life but don’t denyhave. I want to be a part of their success your own expertise. ‘Somebody will go, “Oh they did it thatand so being accessible is part of the fun way, I have to do it that way. Oh, theyof it. ‘With a good coach, you can create networked. I hate networking but let something amazing. If you can keep me try and like it and become good at it those two things alive at the same time, because it works.” No, networking works‘I also do a yearly retainer at US$25,000 that it’s all about the client and they’ve for people who like networking. It’s a(£12,500) for ongoing clients and got all the resources, but if you’re good at bloody nightmare for everyone else. I hateface-to-face breakthrough sessions for what you do then they’re going to be able it. I was about to say, “I wouldn’t go to aUS$3,000/US$5,000 (£1,500/£2,500) to do so much more with those resources network evening even if you paid me” – Idepending on the amount of time and the when they work with you than before probably would go if you paid me but Inumber of people involved. Those tend they worked with you. That to me is the would never go if you didn’t. That’s notto be more directly NLP-based, and have perfect balance.’ my thing. I love radio. I do a radio show.been proving extremely popular since I Is it marketing? Probably technically itmade them available.’ In a way, you have the ultimate niche is. Do I think of it as marketing? Heck“ combining acting and coaching. no, I do a radio show. I write a tip. Is it marketing? Technically, sure. Do I do Michael Neill: ‘That’s how it looks from it because it’s marketing? No, I do it If we practise the outside. The problem with saying that because I like to do it.’ is there’s going to be a whole load of giving ourselves people who will read that and go, “Okay, So again, it’s not about following the better feelings, what’s the perfect niche for me? I must rules but following your heart? find one. Let me find a Niche-Finding telling ourselves Coach.” I just do what I love and it’s Michael Neill: ‘Absolutely but taking that better stories and turned out that a lot of my clients work in out of the realm of, “Oh that’s pretty, the entertainment industry now. I never American and twee” and into the realm of acting on our inner went looking for a perfect niche. I went “No, it just works. I make a lot of money knowing, we will get following what was in my heart. That’s doing what I do because I follow my the thing, the difference, in the way I heart.” Don’t do it my way unless my way better and better at work.’ happens to perfectly work for you.’ ” feeling happy. And that’s really the essence of your FURTHER INFORMATION books, isn’t it? Visit Michael Neill’s website atWhat advice do you have for other Michael Neill: ‘Yeah. Don’t follow some www.geniuscatalyst.com and listencoaches? abstract idea of what you’re supposed to his radio programme by visiting to want thinking it will get you what you www.hayhouseradio.com.Michael Neill: ‘Don’t treat your clients really want.’like little babies. This idea of not givingadvice comes from some bizarre idea that Is looking for a niche wrong then? *You Can Have What You Want by Michaelyour clients are so pathetic and helpless Neill (Hay House, 2006) and Feel Happythat if you tell them what to do they have Michael Neill: ‘No, it’s a useful process Now by Michael Neill (Hay House, 2007). MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 14 COACHING DEVELOPMENTS The Q-dos founding committee: (standing from left to right): Monika Key, Pam Harris, Judi Conner, and NO LIMITS NETWORKING No Limits Networking Performance Coach Judi Conner explains why networking is a must-have skill if you want to expand your business and she shares her best networking tips. indeed. We should all have a networking Judi strategy. After all, wherever we’re coming from and whatever our personality type, Conner networking is something most coaches would agree is crucial to the building of our businesses. We are working in one of the most people-orientated professions of Some people are born networkers! They’re them all. Whether we’re just starting up, or generally the ones with a permanent ‘Hey, already well-established, good networking is, party time!’ attitude to life. Take my friend theoretically at least, up there alongside the Gloria. A chance conversation between her computer, phone, business cards and website and a wannabe-back-at-work mum led to the on the list of professional essentials. mum being summoned to coffee at Gloria’s a week later to meet a friend who just happens Furthermore, most coaches will also agree to be a recruitment consultant specialising that good networking goes way beyond simply in women ‘returners’. Gloria will never miss expanding our contacts book. It’s also about a chance to make new connections and then developing relationships, alliances and support, match them all up. Then there’s Jeremy. If growing our knowledge of our specialist fields, you want to meet a host of people working and widening our experience. When all this in radio and TV, you can’t afford to miss his happens, it’s not only our coaching practices got together early in 2004 and created the “ parties. And a coffee with Jeremy will mean a that grow but ourselves too! Q-dos Networking Forum for Professional highly informative hour catching up on all the Coaches, now an established part of the latest news in his industry. coaching scene in south-west London. We So, the big question discussed how we could set up a meeting At the other end of the spectrum are the place for qualified, working coaches which networking-averse. They regard networking we should all ask is, would address the demanding criteria we had with suspicion and fear. (‘Oh I don’t like to push ‘How can I network in mind: it needed to be companionable and ” myself forward.’ ‘I’m not into the politics – just enjoyable, inclusive and not cliquey. And it let things happen!’). The reluctant networker more effectively? was to challenge us and push our professional would much rather be at home, engrossed in a standards higher. We decided the logo would good book or TV drama than making small talk So, the big question we should all ask is, be Q-dos: promoting excellence and growth. with strangers at a drinks reception. ‘How can I network more effectively?’ That And we agreed that the group’s objectives is, with our limited time and energy focused were to promote personal and professional The majority of us probably come somewhere in the right places. We must learn to be growth, to widen our horizons, to create a between the two extremes: eager to get out proactive, yet able to seize an unexpected supportive and challenging network, and to and meet new people but only when we feel opportunity too. We need to acknowledge the provide a dynamic and progressive forum for like it and quick to find excuses when we comfort zones and limits we can quietly slip the exchange of ideas. don’t. I know my own personal gremlins can into. We need to look for ways to make new have a field day when it comes to avoidance contacts and to learn and stretch ourselves Q-dos, which now has more than 130 tactics. ‘It won’t really be useful.’ ‘I won’t beyond the safety of what we already know. coaches on its mailing list, was initiated by enjoy it.’ ‘I haven’t got anything new to say.’ Ultimately, it’s all about making the most of Patricia Caldwell, an executive and personal Or even that persuasive old line, ‘I haven’t got life’s generous, multifaceted, “rich tapestry” development coach. Patricia had been running a a thing to wear’! that surrounds us. Circle for Coaching Academy trainees for some time, and realised that coaches were continuing But if we’re honest, few working coaches can It was with these challenging thoughts in mind to turn up, long after they had qualified and afford not to take networking very seriously that a group of coaches, six of us altogether, established their coaching practices. She PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • “(seated) Julie Lawford, Emma Isaac and Patricia Caldwell. COACHING DEVELOPMENTS 15 NO LIMITS NETWORKING Tips for success will be different for each Q-dos Community Few working coaches one of us, but here are some pointers that I can afford not to find work well for me: take networking very • Enjoy the process! Ignore those gremlin seriously indeed. We voices that spread doubt and cynicism. should all have a If the path you’ve taken isn’t any fun, question whether you’re operating in the networking strategy. ” right area and find a better niche, one with people you’ll enjoy spending time with! People won’t be drawn to a coach who isn’t thoroughly enjoying himself or herself! • Be bold, proactive, and set your sights high. Trying new avenues is always a bit of an adventure. We don’t know where we’ll end up. But if we step out boldly, and take a few risks, we’ll raise our game in the process. • Keep focused. Be clear about your business purpose and targets. Have that ‘elevator speech’ ready – brief and interesting. Know what you’re doing and where you’re going. That way, you’ll develop an eye for an opportunity, and be ready when doors open for you. • Keep balanced. Some people have a tendency to accept every invitation, join every group, and sign up for every workshop. Others join one professional body, or have a clearly defined group of friends they prefer to stay among. I reckon the ideal networker is somewhere in between: neither a burnt-out activist nor overly attached to the comfort of the known. Able to be spontaneous, or conserve energy, as required! identified a need to bring together experienced responding to the same needs for support • Walk the talk! This is a terrible coaches who were interested in meeting and and professional development. Joining such a coaching cliché but it really does say development at a more senior level. circle can be an important part of a dynamic it all! At networking events, we are networking strategy. However, finding a good presenting our personal brand and our Looking back to her days facilitating the coaching group is merely a starting point! professionalism through the way we are. Kew Coaching Circle, Patricia remembers, From then on, it’s up to each one of us to Everything about us is important: the ‘I was amazed by the response, and realised develop the connections that will get us out way we listen, express interest in others, that as coaches, a networking forum was into the market place and bring in clients. contribute to a conversation, encourage essential to our well being, our personal If we feel our professional horizons need people, and even how we are dressed. development and learning. From the success broadening or refreshing, a quick Google All of this will be noted, and (assuming of the Circle it was obvious that there was search will unleash a whole world of business it’s authentic of course!) will impact our a real gap in the market for a professional networking groups, professional bodies, credibility, and therefore people’s trust networking group for coaches who were special interest clubs and organisations, in us, and (very probably) bring in some qualified and experienced. It is a wonderful mailing lists and newsletters to choose from. clients. environment – non-competitive and nurturing and I have made some fantastic friends and The next step, beyond identifying ‘bespoke’ • Find ways to offer support. That’s business colleagues.’ communities like these that feel right for simple marketing advice, of course. us, is to actually get out there amongst But offering to support and solve At its regular venue, the appropriately- the people we want to be working with. By problems will always be more appealing named Coach and Horses Hotel in Kew, keeping in tune with our own experience, to a potential customer than a big sell. Q-dos has attracted a wide range of coaches values and interests, we can intuitively sense Talking about the practical benefits and speakers to its monthly meetings and who these will be, and happily, there are no coaching can bring to his/her situation workshops, and we welcome new contributors general blueprints for successful networking will be far more compelling than a and members to keep us all on our toes! at this nitty gritty level. I say ‘happily’ because monologue on how successful your there can be a great deal of enjoyment to be coaching company is. There are of course many other excellent had from exploring the possibilities. We all coaching groups across the country, have to find our own personalised route. MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 16 COACHING DEVELOPMENTS NO LIMITS NETWORKING • Seek out and follow-up like-minded people. Solid connections with potential business allies will be built on trust, shared values and approaches, and sometimes friendship. Occasionally this rapport Richard M. is established instantly, but often it needs to be nurtured. Get into the habit of keeping in touch Highsmith with contacts. But make sure there are helpful o w T reasons for the contact (news of an forthcoming event of mutual interest, or the offer of a game of tennis). Having common interests is one thing. Contact for its own sake, without that shared Speaking in public is often cited as the number one fear of adults. The Book of Ho With understanding, could turn one into a pest! Lists* places death in fifth place while public speaking ranks first. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld • Make use of natural links you already have. This said, ‘That would mean at a funeral, people could mean college alumni, former employers are five times more likely to want to be in and colleagues, friends, family, neighbours or the casket than giving the eulogy.’ local community networks. My initial inroads into companies in the City came via two separate Let’s look at some techniques to deal neighbours and an old friend’s sister-in-law! with the anxiety and give an excellent presentation. The methods are divided into • Seize the moment! While cultivating contacts, the acronym P.R.E.P.A.R.E. always remember that the very best sort of PREPARATION networking is often that chance meeting at a PREPARATION friend’s Christmas party, or with the woman The foundation of a good speech is built on rehearse next-door who suddenly needs help with a the six ‘W’s’ of effective journalism: who, troublesome board member at work. (Both genuine examples of how I gained some good what, when, where, why, and hoW. You must entry determine: clients). But if the networking habits haven’t been groomed at the point when opportunity posturing 1. Who is your audience? knocks, we may miss out! (See Keep focused!) 2. What are your key points? audience 3. When are you speaking and for how In the end, we all have to try things out for long? relax ourselves. It’s trial and error – or, as coaches 4. Where are you giving the speech? What might say, trial and learning! We need to follow our hunches, get alongside the people we want to work are the physical surroundings? ending 5. Why should the audience listen to you? with, and see what works best for us. It’s not rocket 6. hoW are you going to present? science. It’s simply the most natural and effective way for a coach to do business. In an effective speech, you can only deliver “ three to four main ideas. Think about your And is there any kind of personal measure to audience, the amount of time you have, know when our networking is truly effective? what media you are using to support your I would venture a guess that if we’re really enjoying presentation and the physical surroundings. ourselves and finding life challenging (even scary Decide on the essential ideas vital for sometimes), and the work’s coming in then we’re understanding your topic. These are your certainly getting it right! key points. Make a comprehensive outline with supporting detail, quotes and graphics. REHEARSE Launching your FURTHER INFORMATION Practice is essential. Begin by reading through presentation is the detailed outline of your speech. Check as important as your timing during this rehearsal. When you Q-dos Networking Forum for Professional Coaches are comfortable with the material, move on to the takeoff of an at www.qdosnetworking.com. Regular meetings and a key-word outline. Don’t attempt to memorise airplane. If the lift- seminars on the last Tuesday of the month in Kew, the entire speech. Keep practising with your south-west London at the Coach and Horses Hotel. off fails, the rest key-word outline until you are familiar with Join the Coaching Academy’s new e-group at http:// the material and its sequence. Mark Twain of the trip becomes uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/theacademyclub/join. said, ‘It usually takes more than three weeks irrelevant. ” to prepare a good impromptu speech.’ Your Judi Conner is a performance coach working with delivery should be conversational, seemingly media professionals and others in competitive impromptu yet backed up with a thorough environments. She is a committee member of the knowledge of the material. Q-dos Networking Forum for Professional Coaches. Contact her via her website www.judiconner.com or Watch yourself in a mirror. Observe your j.c.a@blueyonder.co.uk. facial expressions and gestures. Recheck the timing of your talk. If possible, videotape PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT 17 HOW TO SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE yourself or have someone you trust listen and allows you to move through the topic to you practise. Ask them to tell you with your audience following closely along. what you’re doing right as well as give peak suggestions for improvement. Accept their If possible, greet audience members as criticism gracefully, even if you don’t agree they arrive. Ask why they came or aboutS with them. ENTRY their interests in the topic. Adjust your presentation plans to better meet their needs. Finally, keep in mind the audience is Launching your presentation is as important not your enemy – they want you to succeed. as the takeoff of an airplane. If the lift-off Nobody came to watch you flail or fail. fails, the rest of the trip becomes irrelevant. Engage people and make them partners inConfide Determine how you are going to start your your successful talk. speech and commit the first several lines to nce memory. An excellent beginning includes telling the audience why they want to listen. What is the benefit to them? RELAX Remember the physical reactions you experience in front of a group are normal. When confronted with a stimulating situation If you are particularly nervous, look for a the body resorts to the ‘fight or flight’ Does an invitation sympathetic face and talk to that person response. Your pulse increases. Adrenaline for several moments. Do not begin with releases into your bloodstream. Your body to address a small an apology… ‘I didn’t have much time to prepares for a physical response but you gathering bring you out prepare this talk.’ Or ‘I’m not really very have to stay put! in a cold sweat? Make good at giving speeches.’ Starting with a public speaking terror negative makes the audience uncomfortable. Sometimes your mind generates negative a thing of the past by Remember you feel more anxious than thoughts. Michael Pritchard said, ‘Fear is you look. Convert your nervous energy that little darkroom where negatives are following the expert into enthusiasm and launch your speech developed.’ Deal with the fear by building advice of Richard M. positively. a solid foundation (know your topic!) and Highsmith, M.S., of The feeling confident in your message. Take a Leader’s Institute. POSTURING few deep breaths. Mild exercise or stretching Your body is a tool. Learn to use it effectively. can disperse some of the anxious energy. Find your centre of balance. Your feet should Smile. be firmly planted about shoulder width apart. Hold your shoulders back and chin up. Stand ENDING calmly, being careful not to fidget or sway. Like the touchdown of an airplane, your Let your hands rest by your sides. presentation must be landed correctly. Begin the end by summarising your key points. Make your movements purposeful. If you Next, ask for audience questions and clarify make a gesture with your hands, let them any remaining issues. Then make your return to the resting position by your side. closing statement, which should encourage some action. What do you want the audience Don’t wander around the room. If you want to do? Memorising the last few lines ensures to go to a different location – go there and a strong close. Finally, smile and nod your then stop. Speak to one person at a time and head. maintain eye contact. If the thought of speaking in public makes Your voice has volume, tone and pace. you anxious, you probably will be. If you Realise you will speak faster and at a P.R.E.P.A.R.E. however, the level of your higher pitch than you did when you were anxiety will be lower and you will deliver a rehearsing. Be aware of this tendency. Talk better, more effective speech. Who knows, lower and slower. Speak loudly enough so you may find you like giving the eulogy everyone in the room can hear you but not better than being in the casket! so loudly that the people in the front rows are covering their ears. FURTHER INFORAMTION AUDIENCE Richard Highsmith, rick@leadersinstitute.com, Know to whom you are talking. Don’t be is a senior instructor for The Leader’s Institute. like William Safire who asked, ‘Is sloppiness He has 25 years experience in training and in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? coaching. To learn more about becoming a I don’t know and I don’t care.’ What does Fearless Presenter, visit your audience know about the topic? Try www.leadersinstitute.com. to anticipate their questions. During the presentation, seek reactions, questions and *The Book of Lists by David Wallechinsky and concerns. This makes you appear accessible Amy Wallace, Lb Books, 1995. MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 18 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT DUMP THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE Dump the Emotional The founder of Coachville, the late our body starts to generate the energy Thomas Leonard said Tom Stone ‘was of the emotion of fear. The fear energy nothing short of a genius, an expert in in our body motivates us to get off the the field of dynamics’. Here, Tom Stone tracks before we are crushed. We don’t explains how to create an enriched life, consciously choose to create the energy free of self-sabotaging emotions and fears. of the fear; it just is created in us by the innate wisdom of the body itself. Tom This is fine for the kinds of emotions that are useful, like the fear of being Stone crushed by the train or the fear that keeps us from stepping off the edge of a cliff. However, we live in a time in which there are a great many fears that Whether your fears have to do with we experience that are not useful to us, marketing yourself as a coach, asking like all of the ones in the first paragraph to get paid the big bucks you deserve, of this article. So, what causes these actually starting your business, being fears and how can we get rid of these terrified to do public speaking or just non-useful kinds of fears? that you can’t quite bring yourself to ask that cute redhead out on a date, there’s In order to understand the real origins one thing that all of these fears have in of these non-useful fears we have to common, and that is… we hate them! go back to our very early childhood. When we were very young, we all had Why? Because they’re sabotaging our many experiences of being emotionally life! What if there was a way to not only overwhelmed. Everyone does. It just overcome these fears but also resolve seems to come with the territory of them so thoroughly that they just aren’t being human. triggered anymore? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? We seem to universally interpret the experience of emotional overwhelm Well, wait no further; just such a way as something that’s really awful. As a has been discovered. It’s a great new result, we make a ‘feeling level decision’ technique called the CORE Technique that we will try to not feel things in and it works like magic to handle an attempt to minimize the awful certain types of fears so that they are experience of emotional overwhelm. simply gone and they just don’t come up any more. All it involves is learning to do the opposite of what we have been conditioned to do. It is certainly one of the most profoundly useful techniques I have ever learned. It is a way to come out of the grip of emotions and to rapidly complete the incomplete FURTHER INFORMATION experiences of emotions that are held in our bodies. But before I explain the Tom Stone is pioneering the emerging field of Human Software Engineering. Core CORE Technique, let’s look at why we Dynamics Coaching is an important part of this new method of transforming human life. have these fears in the first place. Tom has studied meditation, addiction recovery, holistic medicine and the physics of music. He now lives in Carlsbad, California with his lovely wife Lynda. If you’d like a free The body, in its infinite wisdom, seems e-book all about the Core Dynamics Coaching techniques, visit to have the innate intelligence to create http://greatlifetechnologies.com/PA/PureAwarenessEbook.htm. the energy of emotions within us. For example, if we are standing on railway For information about Core Dynamics Coach Training Options, visit tracks and a train is coming towards us, http://greatlifetechnologies.com/CDCTraining/CDCTNewTrainingOptions.html. PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT 19 DUMP THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGEBaggage are reading this to someone or coaching someone who is trying it, wait for a couple of minutes to give them time to just experience the essence of the energy). It may seem more intense at first then after a little while, it may start to fade away. Now comes the real skill of doing this.The interesting thing about this decision is that in an attempt to self-medicate so that we can Zoom in to whatever remains of the energyit is made at the level of feeling and not at the avoid feeling emotional pain. you’ve been feeling. Again find the centrelevel of words and cognitive understanding. of the intensity of whatever is left and thenIt is a pre-verbal or pre-cognitive decision. So Fortunately, there is a solution and although feel down into that so that you again arewhat? This is important because as we grow it is simple, it is not widely known. It requires experiencing the essence of whatever is leftup and develop cognitive and verbal skills we learning to do something that is the opposite of the energy there.forget the non-verbal feeling level decision of what we have long been conditioned to do.that we made to avoid feeling things so much. Instead of running away from the intensity of Keep zooming in, finding the core of theHowever, this decision continues to dominate the energy of fear in our bodies, we need to remaining energy and feeling down intothe way that we operate in our lives. You could learn how to do the exact opposite. That is to it until there is absolutely nothing left tothink of it as causing us to have a ‘bug’ in our dive right into the middle of the intensity of feel. Scan the whole area with your feelinginner human software that causes us to try to the fear and finish the incomplete experience awareness and make sure there is nothingavoid being emotionally overwhelmed. This is that we are holding there. left. The biggest mistake people make with “truly universal and most people are completely the CORE Technique is not completing theunaware of this invisible influence in their life. experience of the energy. When it’s all gone open your eyes. (Don’t try to ‘make it goAt the most basic level, it causes us to avoid We live in a time in which away’ which will only cause resistance. Thisfeeling intense emotional energy in our there are a great many exercise is about completing an incompletebodies. That’s where emotions occur and we experience not continuing to stuff it!)have learned by virtue of our early feeling- fears that we experience ”level decision to avoid them like the plague. that are not useful to us. Now test it by thinking about the originalSo when we have an intense emotional issue that upset you. If you’ve done theexperience, such as a fear of public speaking, exercise effectively, you’ll find that the originalor the fear or being rejected we do everything OK, now I’ll tell you how to do the CORE emotional charge is no longer there. In mostwe can to avoid having to experience it. Technique. CORE stands for Centre Of cases, it will have simply become a non-issue. Remaining Energy. It can’t sabotage your life any more.We become good at going out to the outeredges of the fear, as far away from the It’s important to understand that to the two- That’s how it’s done. “epicentre of the intensity of it as we can year-old inside of us the idea of going rightget. The result is that we don’t complete into the heart of the emotional energy in ourthe experience of the energy of the fear and body doesn’t sound like such a great idea.therefore we don’t get the full experiential In addition, we have a lifetime of avoidingwisdom that our bodies are trying to bring emotional overwhelm at all costs so although Don’t try to ‘make itus! Worse than that, we tend to ‘archive’ the CORE Technique is easy once you learn go away’ which will ”it, store it away in the hopes of not ever how to do it, it is unfamiliar and may take ahaving to finish experiencing it. It’s known as little practise in order to get it. only cause resistance.‘stuffing your feelings’. So here’s what you do. (You may want toThis creates a very big problem called have someone read parts of this to you as The CORE Technique is one of five Core‘accumulated emotional baggage’. Most you go through the exercise). Dynamics Coaching techniques called thepeople have suitcases filled with emotional Pure Awareness Techniques. Once you do thebaggage that they carry around inside Start with an unresolved emotion that is easy Core Technique several times, you will beginthemselves. Heavy stuff, that! Those to access. Think of a recent disappointment, to overcome your resistance to feeling thingsunresolved emotions (not just fears by the rejection or upset, something you’re afraid fully. Not only will this help you to clean outway) are then repeatedly triggered by events of – almost anything will do. Find something the suitcases filled with unresolved emotionaland circumstances. that has a residual energy to it so that when pain that you’ve been carting around but it you think about it you can feel its energy will also cultivate an amazing ability to stayFor example, if you are offered a professional somewhere in your body. present in challenging situations. It’s a veryspeaking engagement but have a fear of being practical, powerful way to overcome the fearsjudged, rejected, unaccepted, or ridiculed, you Where do you feel it? It’s often in the belly and other inappropriate emotions that stopmight turn down the invitation. or the chest or the throat but it could be you enjoying a fulfilling life. This is important anywhere. (This next part is best done with and powerful self-development for yourIf your fears relate to standing up for yourself, your eyes closed). personal and business life, whatever it is thatyou might stay stuck in unsupportive you do.situations, jobs or unhealthy relationships. Simply allow yourself to go to where that feeling is in your body. You can feel that it I wish you good hunting as you dig outUnresolved emotional pain is also the is more intense in some places. Allow your your inappropriate fears and resolve them.foundation of all addictions. We use our awareness to drop down inside the heart of May you have a life completely free from all‘drug of choice’ (a behaviour or a substance) the most intense part of that energy. (If you inappropriate fears. MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 20 BUSINESS BUILDING “ MULTIPLY YOUR INCOME Multiply It is hard After all, Your Income Publisher Edward Peppitt explains how simple and cost-effective it is to transform your coaching programmes into residual income so that you too can earn multiple streams of income. Edward Peppitt In my experience, coaches tend to have one common fear: how can I keep the money coming in, even when I am not delivering to clients, or standing on a stage? It’s a natural enough fear, and one that applies to most self-employed trades. Whatever daily rate you charge, how well and how long would you survive financially if you broke a leg, or were unable to work for whatever reason? The returns are handsome for many in the coaching profession, but are usually strictly determined by the number of hours that the coach is able to put in. So how can we conquer this fear? I have joined many conversations with coaches and trainers on this very subject, and the same answer often emerges: generate the magical ‘residual income’ by turning courses and coaching interventions into products that you can sell to new and existing clients. It’s easy to say, and yet so few actually go ahead and“ do it. Why is this? Recording and editing a seminar or programme, and releasing it on DVD, is not ” as expensive as it sounds. I believe firmly that the answer is that most of us are fearful of the unknown. Most coaches simply do not know what is involved in turning programme is an example of a pioneering and then sell it as a product. This is almost their work into CDs, DVDs, books, e-books, product that became the benchmark in the always a mistake. Word processing and podcasts and home-study courses. Their UK for many years. However, products are desktop publishing software is so universal, expertise is in delivering, not in publishing. It sometimes let down by their production that potential customers tend to see such sounds like a daunting proposition, and most values. They simply don’t look as if they are products for what they are – good material likely an expensive one. worth the cover price or, worse still, they presented very cheaply. fall short of the perceived qualities or values Some coaches do take the initiative and of the coaches themselves. With versatile It is hard to accept that packaging and release an audio newsletter, a CD or a DVD, software now within everyone’s reach, it is presentation are as important as they are. which is fantastic. Indeed, some do a really tempting to assume that anyone can typeset, After all, surely the words or materials great job. Peter Thomson’s regular tape design, print and bind a course themselves, themselves should be what count? That was PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • BUSINESS BUILDING 21 MULTIPLY YOUR INCOMEto accept that packaging and presentation are as important as they are. ”surely the words or materials themselves should be what count? certainly my opinion when I was Sales and a home study DVD programme. Recording from his business courses. It gives potential Marketing Director of Letts Educational, the and editing a seminar or programme, and clients a feel for the energy and buzz that publisher of the GCSE and A-Level revision releasing it on DVD, is not as expensive as result from a ‘MindStore’ programme. And guides that so many of us remember. As the it sounds, especially if you use the recorded in the last six months, my own company has market leader of printed revision books, we material to make other products at the same helped Jack to add a 12-CD audio course, a started to face stiff competition from Dorling time. How about a sampler DVD that you can single CD relaxation programme and a new Kindersley, who had released high quality, send out to potential clients? Or a section book to the MindStore product portfolio. colourful exam preparation materials on of live material on your website? Or a free These recent products have been highly CD-ROM. We needed to follow suit, but I was download? Don’t forget the importance of profitable. Since last summer, more than 700 amazed at the advice we were given by Koch, packaging. A couple of DVDs in a slipcase people have paid £99 for the 12-CD course then the leading distributor of educational might sell for £25. What can you add to which was created for an initial investment of software in the UK. We were advised that if raise the perceived value? Could you add under £10,000. we presented each CD-ROM in a conventional a workbook, some reminder cards and a CD jewel case, we would not be able to transcript and charge £50? It would be a lot The principle is simple. Anyone attending “ charge more than £8.99 for each product. If more profitable if you could! a course, seminar or workshop that you we placed the CD-ROM in a cardboard box run has demonstrated a commitment by the size of a small breakfast cereal packet, spending their own, or their company’s we could probably charge £24.99 per title. money on you! If they feel any benefit at Needless to say, we manufactured the boxes and we saw off the competition convincingly Whilst books all from your programme, it is extremely likely that those same people will gladly buy for the next five years. It’s interesting to raise credibility, other products from you. All it takes is a see that, 12 years on, most software is still small table and a volunteer set up next to sold in the high street in the same boxed they are rarely where the coffee is served. Look again at the packaging. example of Jack Black. If you had paid £350 big income to attend his two-day business course, would ” So what should a coach’s product portfolio you be willing to pay an additional £99 to look like, and where should one begin? generators. have the same course on CD that you could First, there are products that raise one’s listen to again and again for ever? Experience professional profile and encourage new shows that almost 25% of course attendees business. Writing and publishing a book Whilst one or two individual products will are willing, which provides Jack with a is the obvious example. I am still asked to provide valuable, additional income, I believe significant additional income stream. “ talk and give presentations about managing that a co-ordinated suite of products can and motivating teams, just because I wrote help to recruit and build long-term, profitable a book on the subject almost a decade ago, customer relationships. Let me illustrate published by Hodder & Stoughton! I have with reference to my own experience as a been a Publishing Consultant for many years, consumer. A couple of years ago, a friend Do you run a course ” and potential clients always seem to look me gave me a battered copy of MindStore by Jack you could sell on DVD? up on Amazon before engaging me. Black (HarperCollins, 1995). It lay unread on a shelf for several months until I was Whilst books raise credibility, they are rarely looking for something to read on a long train So where should you begin? Start by thinking big income generators, particularly if they journey. By the time I reached Bristol Temple about your existing customers, and what are published by one of the established Meads, I was hooked. I found a cassette they have been asking for. Could you turn publishing houses. The average business programme of Jack’s in the Birchanger any of your existing materials into products? book might sell between 1-2,000 copies a services on the M11, and a second book of Do you run courses or events that you could year in the high street. A typical royalty deal his in Waterstones in Trafalgar Square. I still film and sell on DVD? Is it time to make a would be 10% of net receipts, in other words, craved more. I visited the MindStore website start on that book? How about recording 10% of what the publisher sells your book and signed up firstly for the email newsletter, a short programme with a microphone, for. Let’s take the example of a typical £10 and then for his ‘MindStore for Life’ weekend and then turning it into a podcast for your book. The publisher is probably selling it programme. All this from someone who website? If you are ready to face your fear, to Waterstones for £5. Your royalty for that hadn’t even heard of Jack Black three months you could make a start straight away. But sale is therefore 50p. So your annual royalty earlier. don’t worry: there are plenty of people out might nudge £500, hardly reason to leap for there to give you some help if you need it. joy. There are a number of ways to make a Since then I have come to know Jack substantial income from publishing a book, personally, and I have learned that my but think of writing a book in terms of the experience is hardly unique. His books, tapes FURTHER INFORMATION business and credibility that will result from it. and newsletters are just some of the tools he uses to attract new business, and then You can contact Edward Peppitt Other products can be substantial fee earners turn these new customers into long-term at 020 7544 8570 or email him at in their own right, such as making a course relationships. For corporate enquiries, Jack Edward@balloonview.com. or seminar available as an audio CD, or even sends out a sampler DVD showing extracts MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • 22 BUSINESS BUILDING THE SEVEN SECRETS OF MARKETING SUCCESS If your marketing attempts have so far floundered, it’s time to change your approach, urges author Jurgen Wolff in his aptly titled book, Do Something Different*. Here he shares seven of his best marketing tips to help you get more business. the name. The fact that most of us have see a celebrity endorsing a diet, for instance, Jurgen difficulty providing a catchy, succinct definition of it adds to the problem. One we may wonder what else they have done, like employing a personal trainer or having Wolff of the brilliant things Anthony Robbins did in order to establish his self-development the latest in liposuction techniques – things we may not feel are part of our world. But if empire was to appropriate many of the Mr or Mrs Bloggs, who look just like you and techniques of NLP but without ever labelling me, says a programme worked for them, we Some years ago, top TV producer Stephen them as such. If you can describe what you may feel, ‘If it can work for them, probably it Cannell shared this bit of wisdom about offer in language that clients can understand can work for me.’ pitching: ‘A good idea, badly presented, and with which they feel comfortable, your sounds like a bad idea.’ I’ve since realised marketing will be more successful. Specific endorsements, especially ones this applies equally to all kind of marketing: that refer to a ‘before’ and ‘after’ are much if you are not presenting yourself and your Unfortunately, I see many ads that better than more general ones. For example, services well, no one will appreciate their emphasise the qualifications of the coaches: compare these two statements: ‘Marie full value. In this article, I’d like to share what they studied, whom they studied with, Tompkins is a really good time management with you seven key marketing concepts that their titles or the letters behind their names. coach, I recommend her highly.’ Or: ‘Before you can apply to make sure that your good These are much more likely to impress I went to Marie, I was always behind with the services are well presented: fellow coaches than clients! Naturally, it’s bills, and I felt totally stressed at the end of important to establish that you’re qualified each month. But since she taught me her but that should be done concisely, leaving easy financial systems, I am on top of all lots of time (or ad space) to describe what my money matters, even finishing my tax you can do for the client and for testimonials returns well before the due date.’ that prove you’ve done it for other people. Keep this as simple as possible. Many Obviously, the second quote is more coaches feel that they have three or four powerful. First, it tells a little story of how points of differentiation: ‘I work with the person was suffering, in a way that creative people, and I combine principles of many people can probably relate to. Second, feng shui with dream analysis, and I’m very It’s no accident that endorsements and it suggests what actually happened: ‘she intuitive…’ Too much information! By the quotes are plastered all over every book and taught me her easy financial systems’. And time you tell me the third point, I’m having have become a staple of web marketing as then it has a specific, happy ending, one we a hard time picturing what my sessions as well. There are two kinds of endorsements: wouldn’t mind having in our own lives. your client would be like. Of course, you celebrity quotes and ordinary people quotes, should use as many tools as you find helpful and both can be effective. Most clients will not state their experience but in your marketing, focus on the aspect this way without a bit of coaching. Of course, that is most appealing and which sets you Celebrity quotes work because we think, you don’t want to put words into their apart from others doing similar work. ‘If somebody that rich and famous uses mouths, but you can ask them questions this person’s services, they must be good.’ like, ‘What was your biggest challenge before If you’re not sure what to emphasise, a good Sometimes it’s not the name of the person we starting working together?’ ‘And what’s strategy is to ask your existing clients what that has the celebrity element, but their been the result of our working together?’ they like best about what you do. Initially, title. For instance, Robert Cochran was kind ‘And what do you think it was about our give this to them as an open-ended question enough to give me a great quote in support experience together that helped you reach and jot down their answers. If they are shy, of my new book, Your Writing Coach. His this outcome?’ You can either take notes or let them write down the answer in an email name may not mean much to most people, tape this exchange, and then put together to you. Probably a trend will emerge, and but when I say he is the co-creator of the hit a quote that follows the problem-action- that may well be the point you want to use international series, 24, the endorsement is outcome pattern and ask the client whether as your unique selling proposition. lifted to a different level. this accurately reflects what they said and is permissible for you to quote. If not, let them In many instances, though, it’s more amend it until they’re happy. effective to have someone the potential client can identify with as the one being Finally, it’s always better to have a complete Many coaches use NLP but there are still quoted, especially for common issues like name for a quote, rather than ‘Mary’ or many people who are intimidated by losing weight or stopping smoking. When we ‘Mary M.’ and a word or phrase to identify PERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007
    • BUSINESS BUILDING 23 THE SEVEN SECRETS OF MARKETING SUCCESS multi-media materials, additional workshops, and a limited amount of personal coaching. My new logo is a red and black bull’s-eye, which can be used with different lettering across it to identify different projects. We all know that generally the story of the overnight success is a myth. Most successful people only make it look easy. Usually there have been years of challenges before the event that pushed them into thethem further: Mary Mathers, Accountant, A couple of years ago, I wrote a book with success zone. This is true for just aboutor Joe Repetti, Musician, especially if these that title. It documented 100 case studies of every occupation even in fields like musicreflect the roles of the additional people people who found creative and inexpensive or acting, where a chance break can actuallyyou’re trying to attract as clients. ways to market themselves and their product suddenly catapult someone to the top. It or service. They were all following the then requires hard, consistent effort for general idea that if you want to stand out in them to stay there. today’s crowded marketplace, you have to do something different from what most of That’s certainly how it is with marketing your competitors are doing. Here are a few yourself as well, and often the old clichéYour supporting materials include your examples: is true: it’s darkest just before the dawn.business card, letterhead, website, all The media have a herd mentality: once ayour advertising, your press releases, your • One attorney who felt that people tend few people start writing about you, otherscompliments slips, brochures and any other to be intimidated by the law set up will come flocking. But on those days whenmarketing materials you use. If you have a practice within a coffee shop. His prices you’ve sent out 100 press releases andlogo or a catchphrase (and you should), be were on a menu board next to the nothing has happened, or you’ve put outsure that it’s on all of your materials, and one listing the cost of various kinds of ads for a workshop and nobody wants toin the same colour scheme and design. Try coffee. come, it can be tempting to think you’re onto come up with something memorable the wrong track. Yes, do analyse whetherand appropriate. Don’t underestimate • A B&Q Superstore found that teenage there are other strategies that could workthe value of a name or symbol that really employees were often unreliable, so they better, but hang in there and keep going.stands out. For instance, do you think went for the opposite and hired retired Use as many tools as you can. You couldJamie Oliver would have had anywhere near people who wanted to work part-time. include a blog and podcast, as well as athe same level of success if he hadn’t had good website. Ideally, get a pro to help youthe moniker, ‘The Naked Chef’? I’m not • An innkeeper who wanted more business with a site rather than constructing onesuggesting that ‘The Naked Coach’ is a in the dead time after Christmas started yourself from a bland template. One webviable option. Clearly, your name, or logo, or a ‘Romantic of the Year’ contest, in specialist I recommend is Steve Batcup atsymbol mustn’t be so goofy or strange that which the winner gets a free weekend www.willwork4food.co.uk, where you’llit undermines your credibility or professional around St. Valentine’s Day. The contest find a portfolio of some of the sites he’sstanding. However, most people tend to err gets him lots of publicity. designed (he designed mine as well).too far in the direction of blandness.“ Everybody can come up with creative ideas And last but not least: once they start looking for them. Try to be a bit different in every aspect of your business and marketing. Another personal example: publications always want a head shot along If you’re a good coach, you know how to with articles or press releases. Instead of help people achieve their dreams. Don’t the normal man-in-suit shot, I send out the forget that you can also be your own client – one you see here, with a little gremlin on and it won’t cost you a penny. my shoulder. This reflects the fact that as a ” writing coach, I help people deal with their writing blocks or fears about writing. I’ve just had a call today from one of the two biggest writing magazines in the UK, saying they may FURTHER INFORMATIONIt’s a big decision but if the image you’ve want to use this as a cover photo. I may orhad up to this point has not really worked may not get it but certainly, it has already Jurgen Wolff’s new book, Your Writingfor you, it may be time for a change. If gone further than a normal head shot ever Coach is published this month byyou do choose a new business name or would. Nicholas Brealey at £9.99. His website,logo, be sure that it is something that can www.yourwritingcoach.com and his blog,accommodate the directions you may want Naturally, whatever you do has to be in line www.timetowrite.blogs.com, offer writingto go in at some point in the future. For with the type of image you want to create. tips, and his free monthly Brainstormexample, I am now branding everything I work primarily with writers and other e-bulletin shows how to be more creativearound the ‘Your writing coach’ name, not creative types, so I’m not afraid to come off and productive (available by request toonly because it’s the name of the book, but as a bit eccentric myself; if I wanted mainly BstormUK@aol.com).also because it’s broad enough to cover attorneys as my clients, I would probably notthe other projects I have in mind, including be parking gremlins on my shoulder. *Do Something Different (Virgin Books, 2001). MAY 2007 - PERSONAL SUCCESS
    • My (Mexico) Day When journalist Oriana Tickell de Castello trained as a coach with The Coaching Academy, and returned to Mexico, she was plagued by self-doubts. Would there be any demand for coaching? She explains what happened next. same time helped me to define my niche in it necessary. My partner Mercedes is Oriana Tickell Sustainable Leadership, which I find to be equally valid for corporate and individual Venezuelan, and we have found it to be to our advantage that we are both foreign de Castello coaching processes. women. A client once told us he had hired us because he thought we would ‘To my surprise, the change from journalism be less threatening than a male Mexican to coaching was less drastic than I expected, coach to his executives. Of the coaches the major difference being that I could no we have trained here in our CorpxCoach ‘After completing my first weekend longer arrive to see someone knowing what methodology, 25% are men, and we rely course with The Coaching Academy, I wanted them to say and the way that the on them for the times when male coaches I remember getting on a train on that cold, story would develop. are specifically requested. In the world of rainy November evening, wondering how executive coaching, there are probably more I was ever going to get started as a coach ‘The market for coaching in Mexico has men than women working as coaches here in Mexico, a country where coaching was changed enormously since we started in in Mexico, which goes against the idea that almost unheard of. I really did wonder 2003. Now we are rarely asked “Which coaching is more of a female profession. whether I had just committed an expensive baseball team?” when we tell people we mistake. By the time I got back to Mexico coach. Another positive change is that ‘There are certain things that add challenges City, my inner doubting voice was getting people now seek out our services, including to running a business in Mexico, the major louder, especially when I Googled “Coach certain large multinational clients who one is that submitting an invoice can be very Mexico” and came up with just two names. want to create a coaching culture in the complicated, and it is safer to invoice before workplace by working on a rotating basis starting on any project. The learning curve ‘I contacted both people on that short with their top leaders and the next level of how the system works in each company is Google list. One never returned my calls down in the organisation. It means that steep and involves a lot of wasted time – or emails. The other one, Mercedes Jahn, when one coaching process finishes, fortunately we do always get paid! became my business partner. usually there is another one to start within the same company. ‘Coaching for me is the ideal way to ‘I had discovered coaching a couple of years combine being present as a mother earlier. There was a British coach called Kate ‘My day starts early as the school bus with the intellectual and professional Lanz living and working in Mexico, and she comes by for my children at 7.02 am. I satisfaction that each coaching process was the person who first introduced me to often leave the house straight afterwards brings, and that could be the same living coaching as a concept. After she moved to meet clients for breakfast at 7.30. It anywhere in the world. The spice of from Mexico to Amsterdam, I was left with seems to be the preferred time to meet, working in Mexico is leveraging cultural a gap in my life, and the idea that if I was as coaching sessions need to be squeezed differences and using them to create new missing her, then probably other people into busy working days, and if we agree perspectives for my clients, although were too. After some reflection, I decided to to meet mid-morning the chances are that perhaps for me one of the most important fill that gap myself by training as a coach in our appointment will be trimmed at both testimonials of coaching came from my the UK and then returning to Mexico to try ends by starting late and interruptions from daughter who when I graduated as a Parent and open the market for coaching. phone calls etc. This is also a good time Coach said, “All in all, I think that my to meet with groups for team coaching, mother has become a better parent since ‘For the past four years, Mercedes and I before the start of the official workday. My she became a coach.”’ have worked in executive and corporate aim is to finish work by 3pm to be home coaching, training new executive coaches, and have lunch with the children when they and we also founded the local chapter of arrive back on the bus at 3.15, and I rarely FURTHER INFORMATION ICF. Since finishing The Coaching Academy make appointments in the afternoons. Oriana Tickell de Castello is married and course, I have also done an advanced lives in Mexico City. She met her husband course in Parent and Teen coaching, ‘One of the things that makes coaching on a plane when researching a guidebook coaching for AD/HD Creative clients, in Mexico different from other places is to Mexico and has mainly lived in Mexico Pathways to Leadership and this year took that few clients like the idea of coaching since then. Her children are Sofia, Jaime and Marcia Weider’s Dream Coach University. appointments on the phone, so we mostly Miguel who are 16, 15 and 12. Please visit Each of these learning experiences has work face-to-face, with some phone www.corpxcoach.com (in English and Spanish), widened my scope as a coach and at the or email orianacastello@corpxcoach.com. calls when travel or time pressure makePERSONAL SUCCESS - MAY 2007