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Presentation slide text can make you look stupid

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From meaningless figures to text that is exactly what you’re speaking anyway, slide presentations are a great way to show others that you have no idea what you’re talking about. Learn how you too can …

From meaningless figures to text that is exactly what you’re speaking anyway, slide presentations are a great way to show others that you have no idea what you’re talking about. Learn how you too can look great, sound great, and say nothing!

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Transcript

  • 1. Slide presentations are important for sharing ideas and information.
  • 2. Slide presentations keep people from realizing you don’t know what you’re talking about
  • 3. Don’t Spillcheck
    • A real man spells words how he wants to!
  • 4. Use phrases you’ll need to apologize for later
    • “ A real man spells words how he wants to!”
  • 5. Graphs
  • 6. Graphs
  • 7. Ask if there are questiosns But don’t answer any!
  • 8. You can never use too much clip art @CiaoEnrico
  • 9. Faulty premises “ Steve Ballmer is completely sane.”
  • 10. Transitions
    • God’s way of letting people know they aren’t looking at the same slide anymore.
  • 11. Make out-of-date References
  • 12. Bullet Points are your Frends!
    • Remind you what you wanted to say
    • Prove you did at least a little research
    • Especially if you don’t know what you’re talking about
    • Don’t necessarily need to have any substance
    • Steve Ballmer is a tool.
  • 13. Use text that’s exactly what you’re saying anyway
    • Use a lot of text in your slides, and never deviate from what they say. Oh… and don’t be shy about reading everything you’re saying directly off the screen. Where was I? Oh yeah - if you try to say something on your own, you might show you don’t know what you’re talking about. But if it’s in print on the screen, then you can feel like you’re backed up by… you know. Facts.
  • 14. Avoid being authentic at all costs
  • 15.  
  • 16. Include Personal Information no one could possibly care about
  • 17. Mix Bad Colors 34% of people who view this slide will be driven to kill
  • 18. Freakishly Moronic Business Terms
    • “ Impactful”
    • “ Outside the Box”
    • “ [term] on STEROIDS!”
    • “ Hard Stop”
    • “ Give 110%”
    • “ Paradigm Shift”
    • “ Win-Win Situation”
    • “ The 80%-20% rule”
    • “ At the end of the day…”
    • “ 2.0”
    • “ Sustainability”
    • “ Drop the Ball”
    • “ Herding cats”
    • “ Take a deeper dive”
    • “ Move up the value chain”
    • “ Thought Leader”
    • “ Rightsizing”
    • “ Scalability”
    • “ Best of Breed”
    • “ Viral”
    • “ Low-hanging fruit”
    • “ Best Practices”
    • “ Seamless Integration”
    • “ It is what it is”
    • “ Bring value to the table”
    • “ Drink the Kool-Aid”
    • “ Core Competencies”
    • “ Proactive”
    • “ Raise the Bar”
    • “ Doesn’t take a Rocket Surgeon”
  • 19. Freakishly Moronic Business Terms
    • “ Impactful”
    • “ Outside the Box”
    • “ [term] on STEROIDS!”
    • “ Hard Stop”
    • “ Give 110%”
    • “ Paradigm Shift”
    • “ Win-Win Situation”
    • “ The 80%-20% rule”
    • “ At the end of the day…”
    • “ 2.0”
    • “ Sustainability”
    • “ Drop the Ball”
    • “ Herding cats”
    • “ Take a deeper dive”
    • “ Move up the value chain”
    • “ Thought Leader”
    • “ Rightsizing”
    • “ Scalability”
    • “ Best of Breed”
    • “ Viral”
    • “ Low-hanging fruit”
    • “ Best Practices”
    • “ Seamless Integration”
    • “ It is what it is”
    • “ Bring value to the table”
    • “ Drink the Kool-Aid”
    • “ Core Competencies”
    • “ Proactive”
    • “ Raise the Bar”
    • “ Doesn’t take a Rocket Surgeon”
  • 20. Questions?