THE WORLD WE LIVE IN
We lived in a sex-charged society
Numerous suggested sexual acts on media
Human sexuality has prominent place
Human sexuality is gift from God
Strong relationship between husband and wife and
State steps in when church and family fails
CHANGE IN SOCIAL NORMS
Life long monogamous marriage
Friends with benefits
Penicillin & the pill
Infection, Detection and Conception
1930 Anglican church approve birth control
Introduction of TV and Internet
FACTORS INFLUENCING US
3 VIEWS ON PREMARITAL SEX
Natural Impulse View
NATURAL IMPULSE VIEW
Sex is a natural impulse or instinct
Contraceptives are easily available and reliable
Sex is purely a pleasurable physical experience
Just like good food and drink
People should take pleasure without guilt
Sex is a natural impulse
Rousseau argue society tainted man
Return to natural is good
Sexual repression is bad
Mankind ought to maximise pleasure
Maximise pleasure is good?
Return to nature is good?
Possibility of pregnancy
Casual or recreation sex lacks full meaning
Deu 22:28-29, Prov 5, 7:25-27, 1Cor 5:9, 6:12-
20, Eph 5:3-5
Ethics of Intimacy
Moderately positive towards marriage
Sexual freedom is praised, guided by intimacy
First be together, then marriage
an expression of love and care
Each partner retain his or her independence
Right to intimacy created by compatibility
Sex is a private matter
Sex can be no string attached
No double standard in sex
Sex demands maturity
Affection, love and imtimacy not strong
To deal with impulse (walking lion)
In passion of moment, anything is love
Christian ethics place will not emotion
At heart of human behaviour
True intimacy is developed through
persistence self sacrifice
Sex act may over commit the couple
Great sex not equal great marriage
Premarital sex destroys something unique of
Most conservative view
Either marriage, with complete faithfulness
To your partner or else total abstinence
Prohibition of sex outside marriage
Will strengthen marriages.
Sex act involves whole person
Promises of lovers, private or public
Late marriages – Education, housings, careers
Failing view – teaching abstinence not successful
SEXUAL MORALITY WITHIN MARRIAGE
Both OT and NT teach
Procreative, monogamous marriage
Sexuality is for more than reproduction
It is for social and personal enrichment
Song of Songs
EXTENDED TREATMENT IN NT
1 Corinthians 7
Sexual desire is a legitimate reason to marry
Husband and wife have sexual duty
Need mutual consent.
Adultery is wrong in both OT and NT
Marriage is commanded by God
As a lifelong relationship.
(So choose carefully)
LETS TALK ABOUT DATING
HOW FAR CAN WE GO?
Sex after marriage – a good line?
Playing with fire.
1 Cor 6:18
Social scientists estimate up to 90% males
Lower for female but majority do
Survey show within happy marriage as well
Christianity Today survey
31% laypersons and 30% pastors OK
32% laypersons and 35% pastors Wrong
37% laypersons and 35% pastors Maybe
Does not cause insanity, sterility, birth defects ..
May develop psychological disorder in extreme
Some Christians are tolerant towards it.
CHRISTIAN VIEWS ON MASTURBATION
It is always morally wrong.
Always accompanied by lust.
Often lead or followed by pornography
Past view leads to insanity, sterility and ……
Masturbation used sparingly
Within limits, by teenage boys (Highly sexist)
Until marriage is morally permissible.
Practice is widespread, therefore need
Sexual desire is strong in young boys.
Girls not included.
Must be sparing, not an obsession.
Thank God for gift and fulfilling it later.
Practice must ceased upon marriage.
Bible never directly address this issue
Application of biblical principles.
Masturbation includes lust and
Desire for another person (Not your wife)
It is usually related to pornography
It enslaving in nature!
So should we encourage early marriage?
Pictures – Playboy, Penthouse magazines
Videos – Cat III, hard core video
Literature – 50 Shades of Grey
Only Literature is legal in Singapore
Due to internet
BEFORE WE END IT, EXPLAIN IT
Why is sex addictive?
Dopamine, Oxytocin and Vasopressin
Brain internal reward system
Helps in bonding between husband and wife
But clouds judgment when separating
God created our body to bond
With who we marry.
Widower with 2 young kids
Met younger woman
Woman don’t want to inherit kids
Widower consider cohabitation
What would you tell widower?
Reject, Wait for marriage, Cohabitation