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“A soft answerstarts on slide 2
turns away wrath.”
HOW DO WARS BEGIN?
A boy once asked his father, "Dad, how do wars begin?”
"Well, take the First World War," said his father. "That got started when
Germany invaded Belgium."
Immediately his wife interrupted him, "Tell the boy the truth! It began
because somebody was assassinated!”
The husband drew himself up with an air of superiority and snapped back,
"Are you answering the question or am I?"
Turning her back upon him in a huff, the
wife stormed out the room and slammed the
door as hard as she could!
When the dishes stopped rattling in the
cupboard an uneasy silence followed,
broken at length by the boy:
"Daddy, you don't have to tell me how
wars begin; I KNOW now!"
We all do it sometimes!
We all know what it is to
walk away from an
argument with the mouth
dry, tummy in a knot,
head hot and spinning,
and heart sick--wishing
that it had never
regretting the unkind
words that were said!
Believe it or not, more
homes are destroyed by
arguments than by fires
We all know that arguing for the sake of
arguing is a pointless waste of time!
We have absolutely NOTHING to gain, and
our time, energy and someone's
friendship to LOSE!
It is said that the only people who really
LISTEN to an argument are the neighbors!
Some people love to
argue, and will do
anything to prove
their point! They'd
rather lose a friend
than an argument!
For others, arguing has
become a HABIT, an
automatic reaction of
whatever is being said!
A LESSON FROM
One compulsive arguer was the early American statesman,
philosopher and author, Benjamin Franklin. As a youth he
loved nothing more than a good argument until a close
friend took him aside and said,
"Ben, you are impossible! Your opinions have a slap in
them for everyone who differs with you! Your friends enjoy
themselves better when you are not around! You think you
KNOW so much that no one can TELL you anything.
Indeed, no one is going to try, for the effort would only lead
to discomfort and hard work!
So you are not likely ever to know any more than you
do now--which is actually very LITTLE!"
Ben Franklin was BIG enough and WISE enough to
accept these stinging truths, and to realize that he was
headed for failure and social disaster! So he immediately
began to change his bigoted, argumentative ways!
He became one of the best loved, wisest and most
diplomatic men in American history, and was actually
remembered for saying:
"If you argue and rankle and
contradict, you may achieve a
But it will be an empty victory,
because you will never get your
opponent's good will!"
NO ONE ever really wins an argument!
You can shout and scream and argue until you're blue
in the face, but people are not going to believe that you
are right unless they WANT to believe it!
And even if they would LIKE to agree with you, your tone
may have put them so much on the defensive that it would
be like an utter humiliation, a defeat on the battlefield, for
them to confess you're right or even partly right!
no amount of
change his mind
if he doesn't
Nine times out
of ten, an
with each side
ever that he is
You can't win an argument,
because if you lose it, you lose it!-And if you WIN it, you LOSE it!
Well, suppose you triumph over the other
person and shoot his argument full of holes
and prove that he's an absolute idiot.
You'll feel fine, smug and satisfied. But what about
him? You'll have made him feel inferior. You've hurt
his pride. He may resent your triumph,
"A man convinced against his
will, is of the same opinion still!"
"WHAT CAUSES FIGHTS AND QUARRELS
…. “Don't they come from your lusts and desires that battle within
you? You want something, but don't get it...so you quarrel and fight.”
So greediness and selfishness can be one of the root causes of
arguing, trying to get the things you selfishly want.
Other arguments are caused by PRIDE. Proverbs 13:10 says,
“Only by PRIDE come quarrels, but wisdom is found in
those who take advice.”
Also, as we've clearly seen, many arguments are
caused by SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS.--Pushing your
point, thinking that you're so right, putting yourself up
and the other person down by contradicting them!
And what it all boils down
to is a lack of LOVE!
Arguing isn't the real problem, that's just a SYMPTOM!
--A LACK OF LOVE is the REAL
That's one of the major lessons that God wants us to learn-how to LOVE people, how to work with them, how to treat them,
how to give the other person the advantage and the benefit of
the doubt, how to build them up unselfishly, instead of selfishly
tearing them down through contention and argument!
All this is a part of LEARNING TO LOVE,
to put ourselves in other people's shoes,
to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you!”
Jesus can give you the solutions,
change your heart and spirit, fill
you with His Spirit of Love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness,
gentleness and self-control.-Galatians 5:22.
HE can give you the strength and
grace to LOVE and NOT argue!-So stay close to HIM!
Love, Humility and Prayer solve all problems!
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You can download the text to the article “Argument against arguments” by clicking here:
“Argument Against Arguments”