Developing Communication Skills by Dan Waters

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Notes on slide 1

Hello. Welcome to my presentation. This is Macedonian. It looks a lot different than English, but it’s just one of many ways that people around the world communicate.

Communication is the concept of sharing ideas. You can communicate about inconsequential things (“Hey Bob, nice shirt!”) or really important things, such as this idea, written in Russian, which states, “Don’t shoot. I know big military secret.” Begging for your life in broken Russian is but one of many ways to communicate. We communicate so much differently now than we used to.

When was the last time you wrote a letter with a pen and paper? Did your hand cramp up like you were doing something completely alien? Do you remember the nature of it? Perhaps it was a letter to a person or group in a position of authority, and you handwrote it because you wanted it to look authentic and sincere because it was really important. You were probably also very deliberate about spelling, grammar, and word choice.

By contrast, when was the last time you communicated using one of these things? Probably sometime today. How professional was the nature of this communication? The digital, mostly instant communication mechanisms you see here are extremely convenient and allow us to publish our ideas for all to see – from the 140-characters-or-less musing tweets and retweets on Twitter, to long, ranting blog posts, to entire e-Books distributed online, it’s easy to create and distribute ideas and collections of ideas, of any magnitude, almost instantly, to a large audience. The problem is that the communication style of the current Web is often fleeting, indirect, blunt, sometimes even offensive. And that communication style is beginning to influence the way we communicate overall. If you have grown up with these technologies and this communication style is all you know, you may quickly find that the web 2.0 style of status-update-driven communication is not relevant in most professional situations.

Good communication skills are really important to have if you want to get things done. We have grown into a terrible position of overstating simple concepts, or, “talking too much.” A lot of this can be credited to the number of companies in the mid 90’s that were looking to describe an idea or a product where there was none to begin with.

Check out this Dilbert comic. It accurately describes what most of Corporate America sounds like today. Seriously, those of you who have office jobs, especially tech ones, pay attention to what people are saying around you and try to figure out if they are actually saying anything. Sometimes, people are indeed making a point, but that point has been so clouded and obfuscated by all the words used to describe that point.

Look at these Mission Statements for a company I just made up. Looks like a pretty good Powerpoint slide summarizing this company’s goals in life.

This presentation usually shows up in the following context. Team of people gather in a conference room with laptops. Person in suit and tie beings presenting this slide. Audience begins writing emails to one another or looking at CNN.

If you are going to communicate your ideas in this manner, you might as well hand out these buttons to your audience and tell them to put them on before you start.If you are going to invest the time in thinking about an idea, do you want people to care about what you are saying? Of course you do. And this is why good communication skills are so important to have.

You should work toward effective communication as early as possible. It is a lifelong learning experience.Having good communication skills is fundamental. Good communicators can be sure that people understand them fully. If you are a good communicator, it is more natural to persuade people. Good communication both requires and promotes confidence. A good communicator is more believable, which helps their credibility. In turn, this can lead to a better ability to influence people.Sounds good, right? Now, take good communication out of the equation and see how all of these things are severely crippled by its absence.There is not really a list of things to do that make you a good communicator. It takes education and practice, although there are some tips to live by when it comes to effective communication.

While some people seem to be born with a natural gift for communication, but like many other skills, you can get pretty good at it with practice. Effective communication comes from equal parts education and practice. Education helps you to develop a great command of the language. If you can master spelling, grammar, sentence structure and word selection, you have a pretty good chance at being a darn good communicator. The other part of that equation is practice. There are lots of people out there who can ace spelling tests, but are no fun to listen to. Practicing your communication skills before you get a job can help you to overcome several obstacles. For example, public speaking is one of the most challenging things for many people. Personally I was lucky enough to be forced to do it in high school – memorizing a 3 minute speech for the academic decathlon competition. Once you do it a few times, the butterflies you get before a public speech subside quite a bit, and once you grow beyond the point of being scared to speak in public, you get exponentially better every time you perform. Not all communication is public, of course, but public speaking is like the black belt of communication. If you can do that comfortably, you have built up enough confidence to do just about everything else.There are a number of ways to practice communication without it feeling like a chore. If you’re in school, if you have a group project, offer to be the designated presenter. Nobody else probably wants to do it – but if you do, you’ll get to practice AND the rest of the class will look at you as if you are the leader of the group. At work, take the initiative to present an idea to management, or lead an interest group after work hours. It takes some initiative on your part but the payoff is huge in the long run. If you are interested in professional development, you can join a public speaking group like the Toastmasters, which meets regularly to do public speaking exercises like impromptu speaking, prepared speeches and much more.

Because 10 is predictable.

One: It’s important to have a good vocabulary. It’s more important that you use it effectively. If the person on the receiving end of your message has to consult a thesaurus every other word, you aren’t being very clear. There is a time and a place for that kind of overvocabularizationing, and that’s mostly for term papers.

Two: The best way to make a message resonate is to make someone feel. If your audience forms an emotional reaction to your message, they will remember it and be more motivated to take some kind of action. Anything you can do to play off of human emotion will make you more successful.

Three: When preparing your message, boil it down to its simplest and most basic principles. Try to limit your number of main principles to three. Then, find the easiest and simplest way to communicate those three ideas, with the fewest words. You can build upon that later. If the message in its simplest form is not accurate, then you send the wrong message no matter what.

Once you have a simple message, you can begin building upon that message. In English class, you might have learned a method for building essays called CD-COM-COM, where you write one sentence of concrete detail and follow it with two sentences of commentary about that detail. Building a proposal, presentation, or other type of written communication can work in much the same way. If you are quick on your feet, you can even do it verbally, too. Just remember that it always starts with the core, the message. One thing to remember is to keep commentary to a minimum so that the important details are remembered.

If you want to get serious about communication, then treat every conversation you have as an important one. Too many people open their mouths without first wondering what is going to come out of them. Just like anything else – if you want to succeed then you have to plan; considering your message should always be the first step in your plan.Other people, especially friends, can help you practice for public speaking as well. They can make you comfortable. Sometimes it’s better for you to do it in front of strangers, which is where an organization like Toastmasters comes in very handy. The more you practice, the better you get. It’s simple and obvious, just like a well thought out message.

If you want to win someone over, what is the first thing you do? Do you tell them what they are doing is stupid, or that they are wrong? Maybe if you are the CEO. In order for people to open up to you, you must first assure them somehow that you understand why they feel the way they do (even if you don’t, exactly). If you know exactly how they feel, empathize with them. Otherwise, sympathize and make it feel like empathy. The sooner your audience knows that you are here to help them address an issue they are having, or that they really need to care about what you are telling them, the better.The second half of this slide, Engage, means that not only should you understand your audience, but you should also let them express themselves from time to time. This is what communication is all about in the first place. In fact, the original word communicatiorefers to a technique in which a speaker asks a rhetorical question on behalf of the audience, and then answers it directly. This is another common technique people use even informal communication – e.g. “You might be wondering why communication is so important if I don’t talk to customers. Of course it’s important - you talk to people at your company don’t you?”) What I just said is an example of that technique. Sympathize and engage, and you will have an audience that at least wants to listen.

This is important even if you are talking to one person at lunch. If you are talking to a bunch of IT professionals and you give them a student focused message, will it land? No. This is why we take surveys at the start of these sessions – because it’s a lot harder to figure out remotely. I had a meeting with a salesperson from my district the other day, and I knew from the beginning what motivates him – and that is selling software. So I tailored most of my discussion around how I understand his goals and I want to do what I can to help him sell more software. He and I work closely together now because of that initial communication. Knowing who you are talking to is a bigger part of communication than you might initially suspect.

Style is something that comes from you, and it comes from practice. Your style is something that is very difficult to change once you develop it. Your style can and should be consistent across different communication mediums, venues, and scopes of interaction (meaning 1 on 1, or on a panel, or addressing a room full of people). You should also be able to adapt your style for different scenarios. If you are alone presenting to a thousand people, you might get fired up and start preaching a little bit. Probably not useful to do that when you are just talking with your friend over coffee.Even during private conversations in small groups, you can shift your style a little bit, or leverage an old piece of human nature called ‘coding,’ whereby you involuntarily change the intonation and fluctuation of your voice and sometimes even pronunciation of words to sound more like the person you are talking to. I’m from Texas originally, and believe me, when I go home, that Texan does come out. It’s human nature and it makes you feel like part of the herd, so just go with it if you notice you are doing it. However, you shouldn’t *try* to do this – just let it happen. You don’t want to offend anybody. Humans have a natural ability to modify their communication style based on the setting and the audience. Go with what feels natural to you, and if it doesn’t work, try something else. Ultimately, be true to yourself and who you are – your style is what makes you interesting to people, so by all means, keep it consistent wherever you can.

Sometimes your message doesn’t land so well. Sometimes you get booed. Sometimes you get nervous and can’t remember what you were going to say and your presentation bombs. Don’t worry – every time you do it is a learning experience.

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Developing Communication Skills by Dan Waters - Presentation Transcript

Developing
Communication skills
Presented by Dan Waters
Academic Relations - Microsoft
dan.waters@microsoft.com
Twitter: @MSPacWestADE
Blog: danwaters.com
ЗдравоДобредојдовте на мојата презентација.
Не стреляйЯ знаю, большой военной тайной.
Good communication skills aren’t just important.
eCentricity Mission Statements
progressively implement cross-platform e-business
distinctively seize resource maximizing channels
dynamically initiate distinctive strategic theme areas
energistically matrix ethical vortals
continually actualize cost effective meta-services
Phrases That Mean Nothing
progressively implement cross-platform e-business
distinctively seize resource maximizing channels
dynamically initiate distinctive strategic theme areas
energistically matrix ethical vortals
continually actualize cost effective meta-services
Corporate B.S. courtesy of the Corporate B.S. generator http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html
Outcome: Nobody Cares
“
The more elaborate
our means of communication,
the lesswe communicate.
- Joseph Priestleydiscoverer of oxygen
Good communication skills are
FUNDAMENTAL
for:
Understanding
Persuasion
Confidence
Credibility
Influence
Good communication skills come from
equal parts
educationandpractice
+
nine Best practices
(tips)
communication
(one)
Good Communicationdoes not equal “big words.”
(two)
Humans have emotions.
USE THEM.
(three)
(four)
Build (Carefully)
(five)
Practice
(with anybody)
(six)
Sympathize & Engage
(seven)
Know Your Audience
(eight)
Develop & Maintain Style
(nine)
Don’t Get Discouraged
Recap - Tips
Use vocabulary effectively
Play to emotions
Craft a simple message
Build upon that message
Practice
Sympathize and engage
Know your audience
Develop & maintain style
Don’t get discouraged
Resources for Effective Communication
Toastmasters Internationalhttp://www.toastmasters.org/
Presenting to Win (ISBN13: 978-0131875104)
Presentation Zen (ISBN13: 978-0321525659)
Q&A and Thank You!
Presented by Dan Waters
Academic Relations - Microsoft
dan.waters@microsoft.com
Twitter: @MSPacWestADE
Blog: danwaters.com