Eccentric Doesn’t Begin to Cover It! Ch. 8 Invasion of the Plantsims
Welcome back to my OWBC, where zombies roam the neighborhoods, grilled cheese sims start cults, and nobody has a normal life. We last left you with this scene: Onoda, Servo, and four plantbabies in a severely overgrown lot! Oseola was more than a little surprised to come home to see this. So let’s back up and see what happened in the meantime.
Here’s what Onoda found when he returned home. Three wolves (one is not pictured), four pups, and a lot of Death memories.
The deceased is a wolf, who, being a wolf, died at a good old age. Goodbye, Balto, first of generation 1 of the wolf pack. Balto topped all three pet careers, learned all his tricks, and had four puppies with Miley, a wild wolf. Oh, that’s right, you don’t know about Miley yet, either.
This is probably because Miley wants nothing to do with the household, her puppies, or Balto. Here’s Servo reporting her lost. You will note she is wearing a collar, but of course when she came back she was still glitched as a runaway, even when moved out and back in again. I think she is just being difficult so we don’t put her to work.
Here are Balto’s four puppies. Balto is in the upper-right corner. Puddleglum is in the center; he and Tally (left upper) just grew up from puppies. Kit and Nita, the two who are still puppies, were Balto and Miley’s second litter. They have identical personalities, but I’m keeping Puddleglum. He’s named after the pessimistic Marsh-Wiggle from The Silver Chair . Discovery: Pets inherit fur colors you give them via the mirror. Interesting.
The rest of the pups, unfortunately, are simply too many. With Balto, there were six wolves on the lot, and while wolf packs are nice, Onoda plans to have a pack of kids the next generation, and there simply wouldn’t be enough room. I haven’t yet told him there won’t be enough room for his kids, either, since Oseola is the heir.
“ Snif… my… my puppies…” Oh, cool it, Servo. You’re a popularity sim, remember? You want to make sim friends, not raise a bunch of puppies. “ But… they’re so cute and cuddly and little…” Closet family sim much?
Onoda wastes no time completing his family responsibilities, because apparently he’s so responsible it hurts. Three career rewards, in the bag. Onoda is an official Workaholic. But we knew that already.
Meanwhile, poor neglected Servo has been trying to compensate for the loss of her puppies. “ Awww… puppy! And doesn’t he have the prettiest eyes?”
Puppy apparently likes the taste of stainless steel. Welcome to the Pack, Servo. The servo isn’t the only one getting in touch with nature, though…
“ So… uh… what does this plantsim thing do for me?” Well, you have only three Needs now: Sunshine, water, and… I’d say love if you weren’t evil, so let’s just leave it at “Social”. You’ve got a gold gardening badge. You can do Spores of Happiness, and spawn plantbabies… “ BAYBEEES! Uh-oh. Baby-crazy family sim alert.
Oh, look who just got Savaged! He probably tastes like salad.
Welcome to the Pack, Onoda. “ Heheh… werewolf… wolfwere… were… hehe… wolfy, I’m a wolfy now, look out, hehe… wolfy… wolfy… baybeeez… wolfy wants baybeez…” Uh-oh. Somebody call the guys with the straitjackets. I’m really not sure why he thinks he wants babies. And with the child-stalking track record of Sim wolves, I don’t think I want to know.
Hal: “BOOO! I didn’t get to restore junk cars when I was around!” Servo: “Aaaah! Robots aren’t supposed to die!” In this game, my dear mechanical creature, everybody dies. Muahaha… Oh, and we got FreeTime. Yay!
Onoda is celebrating the new expansion pack the way he celebrates anything: Finding the nearest girl to bean with a hard object. Oh, and new secondary aspirations! Oseola is now Grilled Cheese/Family. Onoda is now Family/Knowledge. Britney is Popularity/Grilled Cheese. Onoda’s also maxed Nature and…
… Science. Has the Knowledge secondary aspiration gone to his head? Yes. Yes, it has. (The abduction was done without the FT “Summon Aliens” or “Search for UFOs”, as per the MOAR ALIENS xTREME rules.)
The traditional “I’ve Been Probed!” shot. I give Onoda’s effort a 7.5. The shock is there, but the yellow werewolf eyes really detract from the effect. Goopy is still the reigning champion in this competition, folks!
Came back with his Sun completely in the red… passed out in the street. Lost 500 aspiration points.
… and recovered only to flip out completely. “ heehe… baybeeez… wolfy alien baybeeez…” Onoda’s sanity has left the building.
“ Und you are Family sim, ja? Wit no leetle babbies und no marrying?” “ uhh… baybeeez…” “ Ze solution iz simple. Haz many baybeez, zen you be a happy Family sim, ja?” “… baybeeez…”
In the hands of a family sim, being able to spawn plant babies at will is rather a dangerous ability. And once they learn the aliens are into babymaking… … so. Now we’re up to date. Oh, incidentally, I had Servo move out before Oseola and Britney moved back in; we were hitting the eight-sim limit and Servo wasn’t useful.
Introducing The Podbabies. Two boys, two girls. All of them have the same personality, 4/10/10/7/0. They are outgoing, active, and evil. Oh, wait, I mean “grouchy”, not evil. … wait, no. Actually, I did mean “Evil”.
All of them have all of their skills maxed. Think about this, folks: These are two-day-old kids who could theoretically perform brain surgery . That is creepy.
Britney: “Those pod children are getting on my nerves! They freak me out!” <Love us!> <Feed us!> <Play with us!> Britney: “…they’re right behind me, aren’t they?”
The Contessa, despite being more than a little experienced with the supernatural, is apparently a little bit surprised to see that her boyfriend is now a pregnant werewolf plantsim with four toddlers he didn’t have the day before. “ Umm… well, I think there were spatulas involved, does that help you any?” Yes, Onoda. Spatulas explain everything.
<So the Sim mind is really not very complicated at all! Manipulate the Aspiration trees, and one can control the sim!> <Manipulate the available objects, and one can control the autonomous actions.> <So simple. They are tied to their many needs. We have few needs.>
<One mustn’t become too cocky! Remember, we have maxed skills, but so do they.> <Yes, but they don’t have our advantage of quick reproduction! We can take over the world!>
<That’s so cliched. Surely we don’t intend to actually attempt world conquest.> <No, but it seems to be expected.> <…Quick, they’re looking! Everyone chew on a block!>
< This one seems kind of nice.> <Well, of course he does; he’s one of us! A plantsim!> <Plantsims don’t have fur. And he doesn’t seem to be able to hear us.> <Remember basic Life State Theory! It’s is easily explained by the juxtaposition of Werewolf with a first-generation Plantsim.>
Onoda can’t resist the chance to beat Britney up just one more time, for old time’s sake. That’s the flat roof they’re on. The walls are not actually down. As to why there’s a bed on the roof?... Well, let’s just say I need to redesign the building. Seven more sims suddenly being conceived, spawned, or moving in is no joke.
“ My brother bit me!” Yes, and I have a hunch you bit him right back… “ Umm… well…” Thought so.
Welcome to the pack, Britney. Why make the Bad Apple a werewolf? Simple: I will now know exactly when she is hungry! “ That, and I need more people on my side. Oseola’s plotting something and I don’t want her telling me what to do. Silly little pillow-fighter.”
< What’s happening? Is there to be another of us?> <He’s going to have an alien baby.> <Can we control an alien baby?> <Don’t worry. Alien babies are just like regular sims, only not as ugly.> <We know. We all have the same skills, remember?>
“ Oh. My. Boolprop. Isn’t there going to be ANY end to the babymaking!?” Too much green? “ Too much baby! I can smell the diapers already!”
Hmm, are we bitter much, Britney dear? It’s enough you’ve dumped her on the floor to sleep; but must you insist on playing the violin so she can’t possibly stay asleep?
Why, yes, Oseola. That is a stinky baby. Did you notice anything else? “ Well, I finally sold my novel, It’s Not Easy Being (Surrounded By) Green ”. Yes. Also, it’s light outside. As in, Sunburn of Extreme Ouchies? Right. Coffin, Oseola. Now.
<Are we ready?> <This will be difficult.> <No more sameness. Aspirations of our own.> <Soon.>
“… Wow! We have hands!” “ I. I have hands. I. Interesting concept. I. First person, singular.” “… Duuude.” “ Yup. Hands.”
“ I should get started spawning plantbabies right away. Influence your children and you influence the world.” Iris Boolprop Family/Popularity LTW: Marry off Six Children
“ I disagree. We should research the powers available to us. Being a vampire would make us immortal! Also, pillow fights.” Rain Boolprop Knowledge/Pleasure LTW: Become Hand of Poseidon
“ Dude, no! Influence is totally the way to go. If you become a celebrity, everybody has to do what you say!” Snow Boolprop Pleasure/Romance LTW: Professional Party Guest
“ Well, I’ll leave you to your parties. I’ll be off making the economy do my bidding!” Maple Boolprop Fortune/Romance LTW 5 Top-Level Businesses
Because babies are boring: Meet Marie 1/6/10/10/8. EIGHT nice. Yup, this kid’s an alien all right. Marie is named for Marie Curie, the co-originator of the theory of radioactivity. Marie worked her way through school to get a physics degree, moved to France, and married similarly nerdy physics professor Pierre Curie. They were the first to define the properties of radioactivity, discovered a couple of elements, oh, and yes, won a Nobel prize. Twice. For reference: In France, women wouldn’t even be allowed to vote for another half-century.
… And Marie makes eight. Five of which are children, one of which is semi-uncontrollable, and one of which is a vampire. Sorry, Iris. No baybeeez! for now.
The Pod People quickly maxed their Athletic hobby. Actually, between them they eventually maxed two or more hobbies apiece. With skills maxed, there wasn’t much else to do. The Boolprop Museum (the converted Clubhouse) now displays a copy of every hobby plaque. Time doesn’t pass on hobby or community lots, so I actually did this all in the spring after they grew up.
“ I have created a masterpiece! Sims will flock to buy my paintings!” Game tip: You don’t have to be on the corresponding hobby lot to work on enthusiasm. You can birdwatch on the Art lot, or freestyle on the Athletic lot, or even tinker with the Nature lot’s showers. That lets you gain enthusiasm away from home even without the corresponding membership card. Also: Plantsims can stay on a hobby lot indefinitely. No Energy need.
Music/Dance: Freestyle or listen to an MP3 Player Science: Stargaze on the ground (but watch for satellites!) Games: Play a Handheld Game or do a Play interaction like Red Hands Cooking: Eat from the hobby lot’s grill. Fitness: Do Yoga Sports: Play catch or toss a football Nature: Catch bugs or watch birds Tinkering: Tinker with the hobby lot’s showers! Hobbies that can be gained at any hobby lot: That leaves just Arts & Crafts and Film & Lit, which require you to gain enthusiasm by object interaction before you can Talk About them to other sims, which you can of course do anywhere. Theoretically, a sim can max all his hobbies this way—though he’d have to spend 24/7 keeping them up!
“ Come on, you can’t balance on your fingertip yet?!” “ That pose is wrong! You’re supposed to glitch your foot through your hand when you go up on your fingertip.” “ Here, birdy birdy!”
Oh, and here’s a great bit of luck: The Pod was spawned at a point before Onoda had gained the usual werewolf’s 10 Playful points. With 7 Playful, the Pod can meditate when they’re not in use—a godsend with eight sims. <We commune with the greater Plantsim mind…> <One mind… one mind… one mind… >
Sometimes, though, it wasn’t really the sports that attracted Maple to the hobby lot. It was the hobby lot’s manager, Elle. Everybody say “Awww…” Now, I could go for the usual “world-conquering plantsim seduced by beautiful pointy-nosed blonde athletics hobbyist” plot, but I won’t. Frankly, Maple’s just looking for a quick roll in the hay, and Elle happens to be handy!
So, what’re you doing there, Maple? “ Five top businesses. Got to start early.” Ah yes. Vegetarian restaurant, I presume? “ How horrible! I’ll have you know this fine establishment does not participate in cannibalism!”
Businesses also seem to be a favorite way for Knowledge/Pleasure plantsims to do a little… experimenting. And find out they like it, apparently. Rain is officially in love with Julie Jalowitz, the reporter. And officially slacking off. “ Shelves to restock? What shelves? I don’t work here!”
Maple’s LTW turns out to be pretty easy. Plantsims don’t need sleep, so he can stay on the community lot indefinitely. Setting up these flea-market type businesses seems to be the fastest way to get to level ten. A couple of the Pod get recruited for cashier and restock duties, we turn on the rain (the weather machine + Plantsims are just plain brokenly powerful), assign, and run on speed three for half an hour or so. Repeat four more times: One LTW accomplished.
Aha! The prodigal dog returns! Meet Miley, who has been randomly running away for no reason since she first had her babies. … Can dogs be romance sims? Unlike the rest of the wolves, *grrrr…* she will not be topping all three pet careers. She did, however learn all her tricks.
Oseola is out looking for the father of the next generation! “… and he’s got to be tall and handsome and…” Let’s not remind Oseola that adult sims are all the same height, shall we? Pay the full $5000 and let’s see what we get…
Ooh, check it out! It’s Cowplant Girl playing fetch with Balto! Isn’t it weird how the stick isn’t transparent, even though the teen ghost and the dog are? I never thought I’d get this interesting interaction. I’ve heard ghost dogs can play and fight too, and… Oh, you wanted to see the baby daddy? My mistake.
Adrian Hunicke. Two bolts. Recessive hair. Nice face. The matchmaker has just redeemed herself. “ Hey, you’re cute! Wanna have a pillow fight?” “ Oh, my lady, you charm me!”
Ah, love, true love… Oseola *rolls up want to get engaged* Matriarchy, darling. Remember? *rolls up want to Bite Sim* Hmm, now that I can do.
“ Look into my eyes, Adrian…” “ oooh… shiny….”
“ Bleh!” “ There! You’re immortal now! We can pillow-fight all night, and we’ll have forever together!” “… forever?” *is Romance sim*
And Adrian throws Boolprop Clubhouse a totally superfluous star as he does what Romance sims do best. “ Hover in mid-air?”
“ Wow! I never thought I’d have my first time in a hot tub!” It probably isn’t too common, hon. But where’s your boy? “ Oh, don’t worry! Vampires don’t need to breathe. Talk about interesting possibilities!” Wow. The Romance is rubbing off, apparently.
Meanwhile… “ Komei does not want to be a zombie! Talking about brains does not require using the third person!” Ah. Yes. Oseola, get yourself home before your boyfriend adds “zombie” to his list of life states!
Marie definitely calls for some Gratuitous Toddler Cuteness shots. Here she is, proving she is potty trained (she learned her other skills, too.) “ I went potty all by myself! Auntie Oseola says she doesn’t have to change diapers anymore ‘cus I’m a big girl!” Auntie Oseola is going to find herself changing a lot more diapers before this is done, honey.
“ Pretty music, Auntie! Wake up and look at me!” You wake your auntie up, and the only way you’ll be able to play with her is if they come out with a sandbox. Also, your auntie doesn’t really take care of you all that often; I really have no idea why you are best friends with her and hardly even know your own daddy, family sim that he is…
“ Doggy is my bestest friend.” What’s sad… yeah, he probably is. When the kid’s got more Nice points than her entire family and all her ancestors put together, she really does not fit in very well.
“ Bye, everyone! I’m off to work at Weenie World!” And so she is. Britney’s LTW, if you will remember, has to do with topping the Culinary career. She is also a Bad Apple. So sometimes, when she isn’t platinum from talking about grilled cheese (GC sims practically have that as a permawant so it’s a safe bet and a good use of a command), I have her wear this stylish hat. Never thought I’d find a use for the Noodlesoother.
One day, Onoda was at Aspirational Laboratories. The other hobbyists were unusually smelly, tended to mumble and groan incoherently, and didn’t seem to mind impaling themselves on sliding glass doors, but Onoda figured that was normal for scientists and went about his business.
Aren’t you worried about zombies, Onoda? “ Nah. I’ve got my trusty binoculars with me. I’ll see ‘em coming a mile away.” Uhh… you might want to look behind you… “ No, I’ve got all the bugs. Finished the collection yesterday. Now I’m just bird-watching for Nature enthusiasm.”
Onoda, turn around and look behind you! NOW!! *clicks frantically on Be Attacked icon* “ Aaaah! Zombie!”
Well, that’s all for today! Join me next time as we find out… Hey! Stop throwing stuff! If you kill the author, you don’t get another chapter! That’s better. Oh, yeah! We have outtakes!
Further proof that podbabies are in fact evil.
What happens when you give a bunch of sims handheld games? This.
Britney, giving “pound you into the ground” a whole new definition.
And Maple thinks I REALLY suck at playing Plantsims, while Random Art Hobbyist seems to think it’s curable if you talk at it through a bear. Well, that’s all for today! Join us next time to find out what, exactly, this very odd family may be up to next…