How To Write A Horrible Tender

How to write a horrible tender
Why should you suffer from ECM?
© 2009 Bo Warburton

You are no dope
They told you to write a tender for an EDMS, saying it would increase your chancesof a successful computer systemimplementation
But you are wise to that malarkey—you know the real value is in making sure somebody else gets the blame when things go south
As they surely will

What you will learn today
The general approach for writing a long, yet worthless procurement document
How to confuse, but not lose
When and how to use specific terminology
The egregious downside of clarity
Traps in the path

Keep it loose
Never:
Define deliverables
Tell stories
Indicate a methodology
Always:
Focus on one tiny part of the document lifecycle, such as scanning
Use vague terminology for objectives, so that they can never be measured

Be confusing
Do not say clearly what kind of software you are looking for, but rather throw out a mist of “requirements”
Preferably favor different approaches in different parts of the RFI
For example, pretend you do not know this:
BPM is automation for high-volume and process-intensive tasks
ECM is a holistic choice to manage documents better across the organization, including collaboration and knowledge management

Use vendor-specific terminology
Collect jargon from various vendors
Use it indiscriminately, mixing and matching
For example:
“routing queue”
“volume”
“docbase”
“category”

Don’t tell ‘em what to do
Don’t say this:
Consultant will provide advice and analysis regarding the required product features and business process redesign
Or this:
Consultant should assist in detailed project planning, including advice and guidance regarding phased approaches, project milestones, and work-package organization

Deny you ever saw this

Thanks. Send me all your horrible tender stories.
By electronic mail at: bo@supaisystems.comor use Twitter, bowarburton; Google or Yahoo!, bwarburton; or even Skype me at edward_warburton