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HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH PARENTS? Find a time that you and your parents can be comfortable and relaxed together. Make sure no one is focusing on something else while youre together No paying bills, playing Playstation, making dinner, or watching TV! These first two steps might take some effort and patience. Be persistent. If you just want to shoot the breeze try to bring up something theyre interested in. Ask them questions about their day. Parents love this! If you have something specific you want to talk about let them know exactly what it is. Dont beat around the bush. If they react badly to what you tell them really listen to them. Dont react back. Let them finish and dont interrupt. Ask them to do the same for you. When you feel like youve told them what you wanted to thank them for listening. Remain respectful and keep your voice calm even if youre upset. If you feel like there are still things that need to be talked about set up a time with them to talk about it another day. Dont continue talking if things have grown tense. Calm down and try to have the talk again at another time.
COMMUNICATE WITH PARENTS CONT… Show them respect by focusing your attention on the conversation, looking them in the eyes, and by not being sarcastic or rolling your eyes. Be honest. Honesty builds trust. And life is good when your parents trust you. Stay cool. If you stay calm when things get heated up youre showing maturity and your parents will respect that.
TEENS AND PARENTS …. You probably talk to friends way more than you talk to your parents. Thats natural. Even if you and your parents have a great relationship, you want to find your own path and make your own choices. Still, most of us want a parents help, advice, and support at times. But talking to the adults in your life can seem difficult or intimidating — especially when it comes to certain subjects.
TEENS AND PARENTS CONT…. Talk About Everyday Stuff — and Do It Every Day The more you do something, the easier it gets. Talking to the adults in your life about everyday stuff builds a bond that can smooth the way for when you need to discuss something more serious. Find something trivial to chat about each day. Talk about how your team did at the track meet. Share something one of your teachers said. Even small talk about whats for dinner can keep your relationship strong and comfortable. Its never too late to start. If you feel your relationship with your parents is strained, try easing into conversations. Mention that cute thing the dog did. Talk about how well your little sister is doing in math. Chatting with parents every day not only keeps an existing relationship strong, it also can help a frayed relationship get stronger.
TEENS AND PARENTS CONT…. It takes maturity to figure out what you want to get out of a conversation. (Most adults arent so good at this!) What you hope to achieve can vary. Most often youll probably want the adults in your life to do one or more of these things: simply listen and understand what youre going through without offering advice or commentary give permission or support for something offer you advice or help guide you back on track if youre in trouble — in a way thats fair and without harsh criticism or put- downs
PARENTS TO TEENS What parent hasnt at times experienced difficulty communicating with his or her teenage daughter or son? Who hasnt said something like, "I just cant talk to her any more. I dont know what happened, we used to be so close." Or, "My son used to tell me everything that happened in his life, and now if I ask the most innocent question about his day, he practically screams at me to stay out of his business." Parents complain that they work hard at being a good parent, but end up feeling shut out of their teens life, or disrespected and unappreciated. Many of the problems in parent-teen communication result from the opposing parent and teen life development tasks that are underway. It is the parents job to insure the safety and welfare of their children, which necessitates a certain amount of control. On the other hand, it is the job of a teen to separate from his parents in order to discover himself, to determine who he is, what he is capable of doing, and what kind of people he wants to associate with. Seen in this context, some degree of conflict is inevitable, appropriate and even desirable. The key to working through the conflict is leaning to communicate from the heart, rather than from fear, anxiety, and anger.