Definition… “ Self-esteem is the judgment or opinion we hold about ourselves. It’s the extent to which we perceive ourselves to be worthwhile and capable human beings.” “ Self-esteem is the picture we have of ourselves.”
Reluctance to learn new things or an avoidance of a challenge
Over reacting to things such as healthy competition, constructive criticism, or time constraints
Being unable to make choices or solve problems
Expressing a narrow range of emotions and feelings
Demeaning one’s own talents
Very reactive to ups and downs of daily life—failure can be devastating, even on minor projects
Researchers tell us that the foundation for happiness and success is a positive judgment of self. Research has documented the importance of positive regard from significant others (parents, peers, & teachers) as a critical determinant of self-esteem. Positive regard needs to be unconditional; a child feels loved and accepted regardless of his/her ability or behaviors.
The positive experience that you remembered most likely can be described by one or more of the following feelings:
You felt secure, safe, and trusting of your environment.
You felt special or unique. You felt worthwhile.
You felt important and appreciated by someone whose opinion you valued.
You had a goal or purpose. You were successful in achieving what you wanted.
You felt that you made a difference. You felt capable.
The positive experience that you had probably satisfied a basic emotional need. It helped reinforce a belief in your own value as a person. Each of those feelings just mentioned represents one of the five building blocks that comprise high self-esteem.
Three critical elements common to homes that promote high self-esteem (based on research done by Dr. Stanley Coopersmith, Child Psychologist:
The children experienced the kind of love that expresses respect, concern, and acceptance. They were accepted for their strengths as well as for their limitations and weaknesses. “Love with no strings attached.”
Parents were significantly less permissive than were parents of children with lower self-esteem. There were clearly defined limits, standards, and expectations, and as a result children felt secure.
Families functioned with a high degree of democracy. Children were encouraged to present their own ideas and opinions for discussion.
When you actively listen to your children, you help them feel valued. This makes them more willing to communicate with you. Active listening is an acquired skill. These techniques can help you master it:
Speak encouragingly: “Tell me more…” “Can you describe that…”
Ask for clarification: “Help me understand what you meant…”
REFERENCES Dr. Michele Borba, Home Esteem Builders, Jamar Press, 1994. Jim Ewing & Karen Liptak, Smart Parenting, The Positive Line, 2002. SiriNam S. Khalsa, Group Exercises for Enhancing Social Skills & Self-Esteem, Professional Resource Press, 1996. The New Yorker Collection from Cartoonbank.com
THIS POWER POINT PRESENTATION WAS MADE POSSIBLE WITH HELP FROM: Jay Shirey Nicholas Shirey Cindy Kaldenbach