0
edible Advent              r             ur           n c                es         U                         o     e     ...
Episode 1-The Amorous Alien!!
Episode 1-The Amorous Alien!!   Story by Joseph Allen,      Fonts by Blambot!
Asleep In the bedroom of his rent- controlled apartment, Leon Lash, unemployed writer, sleeps the sleepof the just. But wh...
Fuck
I’m pretty sure I went to bed     alone. I think I would’ve  noticed if someone else was there. I’m usually good about    ...
I hope thats not amurderer. I really dont want to get murdered.
Knowing that his uninvited bedmate will  be roused eventually, if not by his  own action then by the hands of the clock an...
Knowing that his uninvited bedmate will  be roused eventually, if not by his  own action then by the hands of the clock an...
Leon Lash sees that the lump is a very beautiful woman, except that she is a  humanoid ant monster, with skin the   color ...
Leon Lash sees that the lump is a very beautiful woman, except that she is a  humanoid ant monster, with skin the   color ...
Who...what are you?
Who...what are you?                      I am The Ant Queen                        of Formica 6!!
Who...what are you?                       I am The Ant Queen                         of Formica 6!!Are you going to     ea...
Who...what are you?                       I am The Ant Queen                         of Formica 6!!Are you going to     ea...
Who...what are you?                        I am The Ant Queen                          of Formica 6!! Are you going to    ...
Who...what are you?                        I am The Ant Queen                          of Formica 6!! Are you going to    ...
Oh
Are you not Leon Lash?Oh   Your blog-drippings are known far     and wide on my planet. You are the       only man in the ...
Are you not Leon Lash? Oh      Your blog-drippings are known far         and wide on my planet. You are the           only...
Are you not Leon Lash? Oh      Your blog-drippings are known far         and wide on my planet. You are the           only...
Are you not Leon Lash?  Oh     Your blog-drippings are known far         and wide on my planet. You are the           only...
Are you not Leon Lash?  Oh     Your blog-drippings are known far         and wide on my planet. You are the           only...
Are you not Leon Lash?  Oh     Your blog-drippings are known far         and wide on my planet. You are the           only...
This is justwhat my face looks like.
This is just               I HAVE KIND OF Awhat my face                  WEIRD FACE. looks like.
This is just                           I HAVE KIND OF A what my face                              WEIRD FACE.  looks like....
It’s just...I don’t really knowyou. I don’t really marry people  unless I know them. IM KIND        OF ROMANTIC AND...
It’s just...I don’t really know    you. I don’t really marry people      unless I know them. IM KIND             OF ROMANT...
It’s just...I don’t really know    you. I don’t really marry people      unless I know them. IM KIND             OF ROMANT...
Uh, do you want breakfast? I think we          should just talk.
Uh, do you want breakfast? I think we            should just talk.I will consume your breakfasts. We will      talk much s...
In his tastefully-appointed kitchen,    Leon Lash prepares a delicious  breakfast of sausage and eggs forhimself and a pie...
In conclusion, I think In conclusion, I think we shouldwe should just be friends. I dontjust be friends. I dont think ourt...
In conclusion, I think           In conclusion,I we should just be friends. I dont  think we should just be friends. I  th...
I dont know what  else to tell you. Its justnot going to happen. Please dont             kill me.
I dont know what      else to tell you. Its just    not going to happen. Please dont                 kill me.  I will let ...
I dont know what  else to tell you. Its justnot going to happen. Please dont             kill me.  Yes then. Friends. We  ...
And so, The ant queen of formica 6  moved into leon lashs apartment,  sleeping every night on his lavishcouch. Leon lash w...
In his tastefully-appointed kitchen,   And so, The ant queen of formica 6    Leon Lash prepares a delicious   moved into l...
THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!
THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!     DID YOU FINISH THE      MILK AND PUT THE     EMPTY CARTON BACK       IN TH...
THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!     DID YOU FINISH THE      MILK AND PUT THE     EMPTY CARTON BACK       IN TH...
THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!      DID YOU FINISH THE       MILK AND PUT THE      EMPTY CARTON BACK        I...
THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!      DID YOU FINISH THE       MILK AND PUT THE      EMPTY CARTON BACK        I...
The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!!
The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!!         I know you     know how to speak      English. What are        you trying t...
The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!!         I know you     know how to speak     English. Why dont      English. What a...
The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!!           I know you       know how to speak       English. Why dont        English...
The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!!           I know you       know how to speak       English. Why dont        English...
The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!!
The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!!      What do you want       to do tonight?         Movie? TV?         Scrabble?
The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!!      What do you want       to do tonight?         Movie? TV?         Scrabble...
The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!!      What do you want       to do tonight?         Movie? TV?         Scrabble...
The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!!      What do you want       to do tonight?         Movie? TV?         Scrabble...
The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!!      What do you want       to do tonight?         Movie? TV?         Scrabble...
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!        I like to think    that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep ...
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!        I like to think    that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep ...
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!        I like to think    that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep ...
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!        I like to think    that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep ...
The Conversation about the nature of death!!!        I like to think    that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep ...
With each passing day, the friendship   of Leon Lash and The Ant Queen of Formica 6 grows stronger and with it,the ant que...
Oh my god!! Whathappened to you?
Oh my god!! Whathappened to you?            The ant queen of <choke>             formica 6 consumed the           remainde...
Oh my god!! Whathappened to you?            The ant queen of <choke>             formica 6 consumed the           remainde...
No!!
Do not leave menow, Leon lash. Please,   do not leave me.
Okay. Im here. Its Im here. Dont worry.     Youll be okay.   Do not leave menow, Leon lash. Please,   do not leave me.
Okay. Im here. ItsIm here. Dont worry.    Youll be okay.No...I dont think so.
Maybe we can send you back into  Space somehow.No...I dont think so.
That seemsLike something that     Would help.No...I dont think so.
That seems Like something that      Would help.I love you, leon lash.
I love you, leon lash.
Always.
Wherever IGO NOW, I WILL WAIT  FOR YOU THERE.
Tell me you love me.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Am I not...bountiful?
Sorry.
FINEPISODE 1
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  1. 1. edible Advent r ur n c es U o e f h Leon Lash,T unemployed writer!!
  2. 2. Episode 1-The Amorous Alien!!
  3. 3. Episode 1-The Amorous Alien!! Story by Joseph Allen, Fonts by Blambot!
  4. 4. Asleep In the bedroom of his rent- controlled apartment, Leon Lash, unemployed writer, sleeps the sleepof the just. But what is that strange, human-shaped lump lying in bed nextto him? And what will Leon do when he wakes to find he is not alone?
  5. 5. Fuck
  6. 6. I’m pretty sure I went to bed alone. I think I would’ve noticed if someone else was there. I’m usually good about not going to bed with strangers. Did I drink lastnight? When was the last time I drank? Maybe I picked up a girl in a drunken fugue and brought her back for gin- soaked fondlings. Except I’msure I didn’t drink last night.Probably. Maybe I got so drunk that I forgot I was drinking?Is that a thing? Does alcohol give you shadow memories? I remember watching TV andreading Internet and going tobed alone. Could this all have been a lie, ginned up byoverindulgence? Did I consume the night itself along with shots of rum and rye? Fuck.
  7. 7. I hope thats not amurderer. I really dont want to get murdered.
  8. 8. Knowing that his uninvited bedmate will be roused eventually, if not by his own action then by the hands of the clock and the rosy fingers of dawn, Leon Lash pulls back the sheets to gaze upon the lumps true form...
  9. 9. Knowing that his uninvited bedmate will be roused eventually, if not by his own action then by the hands of the clock and the rosy fingers of dawn, Leon Lash pulls back the sheets to gaze upon the lumps true form... Hi!
  10. 10. Leon Lash sees that the lump is a very beautiful woman, except that she is a humanoid ant monster, with skin the color of fresh blood, antennaeextending from her flowing raven hair, and pincers on either side of herbeautiful smile. As a result, Leon Lashscreams effeminately and struggles to get away.
  11. 11. Leon Lash sees that the lump is a very beautiful woman, except that she is a humanoid ant monster, with skin the color of fresh blood, antennaeextending from her flowing raven hair, and pincers on either side of herbeautiful smile. As a result, Leon Lashscreams effeminately and struggles to get away. Why do you run, darling? Calm yourself!!
  12. 12. Who...what are you?
  13. 13. Who...what are you? I am The Ant Queen of Formica 6!!
  14. 14. Who...what are you? I am The Ant Queen of Formica 6!!Are you going to eat me?
  15. 15. Who...what are you? I am The Ant Queen of Formica 6!!Are you going to eat me? Eat you? Your comedy is humorous. You and I shall be lovers.
  16. 16. Who...what are you? I am The Ant Queen of Formica 6!! Are you going to eat me? Eat you? Your comedy is humorous. You and I shall be lovers.Uh, excuse me?
  17. 17. Who...what are you? I am The Ant Queen of Formica 6!! Are you going to eat me? Eat you? Your comedy is humorous. You and I shall be lovers.Uh, excuse me? Do your ears lack virtue? We shall be wed in the manner of impregnated teenagers, you and I. I have come from far away, all the way from Formica 6, to be with you.
  18. 18. Oh
  19. 19. Are you not Leon Lash?Oh Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of Formica 6.
  20. 20. Are you not Leon Lash? Oh Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of Formica 6.That’s veryflattering.
  21. 21. Are you not Leon Lash? Oh Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of Formica 6.That’s veryflattering. Silence! You do not seem very excited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news. Yet you are unhappy.
  22. 22. Are you not Leon Lash? Oh Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of Formica 6.That’s veryflattering. Silence! You do not seem very excited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news. Yet you are unhappy.Why do yousay that?
  23. 23. Are you not Leon Lash? Oh Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of Formica 6.That’s veryflattering. Silence! You do not seem very excited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news. Yet you are unhappy.Why do yousay that? You are making a face.
  24. 24. Are you not Leon Lash? Oh Your blog-drippings are known far and wide on my planet. You are the only man in the universe that can satisfy me, The Ant Queen of Formica 6.That’s veryflattering. Silence! You do not seem very excited to be with The Ant Queen of Formica 6. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 thought you would sweat with joy at this news. Yet you are unhappy.Why do yousay that? You are making a face. JERK.
  25. 25. This is justwhat my face looks like.
  26. 26. This is just I HAVE KIND OF Awhat my face WEIRD FACE. looks like.
  27. 27. This is just I HAVE KIND OF A what my face WEIRD FACE. looks like.Lies! I have seen your face many times onyour blog-drip. This is not the face of Leon Lash. This is the face of discontent.
  28. 28. It’s just...I don’t really knowyou. I don’t really marry people unless I know them. IM KIND OF ROMANTIC AND...
  29. 29. It’s just...I don’t really know you. I don’t really marry people unless I know them. IM KIND OF ROMANTIC AND Silence!You do not wish to know The Ant Queen of Formica 6 in a sexual manner?
  30. 30. It’s just...I don’t really know you. I don’t really marry people unless I know them. IM KIND OF ROMANTIC AND Silence!You do not wish to know The Ant Queen of Formica 6 in a sexual manner? Am I not bountiful?
  31. 31. Uh, do you want breakfast? I think we should just talk.
  32. 32. Uh, do you want breakfast? I think we should just talk.I will consume your breakfasts. We will talk much so. Very much so.”
  33. 33. In his tastefully-appointed kitchen, Leon Lash prepares a delicious breakfast of sausage and eggs forhimself and a piece of bread covered inheaping spoonfuls of sugar for The Ant Queen of Formica 6, as that seemslike the kind of thing that an ant wouldlike the kind of thing that an ant would like.
  34. 34. In conclusion, I think In conclusion, I think we shouldwe should just be friends. I dontjust be friends. I dont think ourthink our lifestyles or genitals lifestyles or genitals would be would really be compatible. compatible.
  35. 35. In conclusion, I think In conclusion,I we should just be friends. I dont think we should just be friends. I think our lifestyles or genitals dont think our lifestyles or genitals really becompatible. would really be compatible. would would compatible. Friends?!! The Ant Queen of Formica 6 did not swim the stars to be friends. The Ant Queen of Formica 6 already has many friends, each more amicable than the last.
  36. 36. I dont know what else to tell you. Its justnot going to happen. Please dont kill me.
  37. 37. I dont know what else to tell you. Its just not going to happen. Please dont kill me. I will let this fool believe that The Ant Queen of Formica 6 intendsonly to be “friends” with his tenderflesh, then I will ensnare him with my feminine wiles when he least expects it!!
  38. 38. I dont know what else to tell you. Its justnot going to happen. Please dont kill me. Yes then. Friends. We shall be very good friends.
  39. 39. And so, The ant queen of formica 6 moved into leon lashs apartment, sleeping every night on his lavishcouch. Leon lash was not particularly comfortable with this, but he is tooafraid too confront the ant queen of formica 6 about her living situation.
  40. 40. In his tastefully-appointed kitchen, And so, The ant queen of formica 6 Leon Lash prepares a delicious moved into leon lashs apartment, breakfast of sausage and eggs for sleeping every night on his lavishhimself and a piece of bread covered incouch. Leon lash was not particularlyheaping spoonfuls of sugar for The comfortable with this, but he is too Ant Queen of Formica 6, as that seemsafraid too confront the ant queen oflike the kind of thing that an ant would formica 6 about her living situation. like. Throughout this convivial period, Leon Lash and the ant queen of formica 6 share many exciting adventures, adventures like...
  41. 41. THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!!
  42. 42. THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!! DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK IN THE FRIDGE?!
  43. 43. THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!! DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK IN THE FRIDGE?! The ant Queen of formica 6 would never do such things.
  44. 44. THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!! DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK IN THE FRIDGE?! The ant Queen of formica 6 would never do such Its cool. You just have things.to tell me when were outof milk so I can go to the store and get more.
  45. 45. THE hoary HORROR OFTHE EMPTY MILK CARTON!!! DID YOU FINISH THE MILK AND PUT THE EMPTY CARTON BACK IN THE FRIDGE?! The ant Queen of formica 6 would never do such Its cool. You just have things.to tell me when were outof milk so I can go to the store and get more. Perhaps I may have suckled from the udder of the bovine. I shall make amends via oil massages!
  46. 46. The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!!
  47. 47. The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!! I know you know how to speak English. What are you trying to say?!
  48. 48. The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!! I know you know how to speak English. Why dont English. What are you just speak you trying to Your right?! say?! ugly tongues simply cannot bear the poesis of the Ant Queens soul!!
  49. 49. The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!! I know you know how to speak English. Why dont English. What are you just speak you trying to Your right?! say?! ugly tongues simply cannot bear the poesis of the Ant Queens What does that even soul!! mean? Seriously, I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.
  50. 50. The SpectacularSyntactical struggle!!! I know you know how to speak English. Why dont English. What are you just speak you trying to Your right?! say?! ugly tongues simply cannot bear the poesis of the Ant Queens What does that even soul!! mean? Seriously, I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. Your face is mean.
  51. 51. The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!!
  52. 52. The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!! What do you want to do tonight? Movie? TV? Scrabble?
  53. 53. The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!! What do you want to do tonight? Movie? TV? Scrabble? Perhaps we should finally formicate!!
  54. 54. The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!! What do you want to do tonight? Movie? TV? Scrabble? Perhaps we should Perhaps we should finally finally formicate!! What?
  55. 55. The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!! What do you want to do tonight? Movie? TV? Scrabble? Perhaps we should Perhaps we should finally finally formicate!! What? I am made of hilarious jokes! It is funny because we are friends! Right? We ds would never have coitus, right? So funny!
  56. 56. The Hapless Humor ofthe Ant Queens heart!!! What do you want to do tonight? Movie? TV? Scrabble? Perhaps we should Perhaps we should finally finally formicate!! What? I am made of hilarious jokes! It is funny because we are friends! Right? We ds would never have coitus, right? So funny! Jumpin Joe sez!-Formicus is the latin word for ant! Ant Queen is using it to make a pun about fucking!
  57. 57. The Conversation about the nature of death!!!
  58. 58. The Conversation about the nature of death!!! I like to think that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we wake up.
  59. 59. The Conversation about the nature of death!!! I like to think that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we wake up. On formica 6, it is believed that death is the shadow of life, dark and empty, but a necessary consequence of the light.
  60. 60. The Conversation about the nature of death!!! I like to think that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we wake up. On formica 6, it is believed that death is the shadow of Do you life, dark and empty, Believe but a necessary that? consequence of the light.
  61. 61. The Conversation about the nature of death!!! I like to think that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we wake up. On formica 6, it is believed that death is the shadow of Do you life, dark and empty, Believe but a necessary that? consequence of the light. The Ant-queen of Formica 6 does not ds believe.
  62. 62. The Conversation about the nature of death!!! I like to think that its like waking up, you know? Like, we sleep our entire lives, and then we wake up. On formica 6, it is believed that death is the shadow of Do you life, dark and empty, Believe but a necessary that? consequence of the light. The Ant-queen of ds Formica 6...hopes.
  63. 63. With each passing day, the friendship of Leon Lash and The Ant Queen of Formica 6 grows stronger and with it,the ant queen of formica 6s hopes that her love will soon be requited. It isnot until one fateful evening, severalmonths after her first appearance, that the moment of truth must come.
  64. 64. Oh my god!! Whathappened to you?
  65. 65. Oh my god!! Whathappened to you? The ant queen of <choke> formica 6 consumed the remainder of the milk. she... sought to replenish it in the store and was assaulted.
  66. 66. Oh my god!! Whathappened to you? The ant queen of <choke> formica 6 consumed the remainder of the milk. she... sought to replenish it in the store and was assaulted. Lie down. Im going to go get some paper towels for the blood. I told you not to leave during the day. People are fucking crazy.
  67. 67. No!!
  68. 68. Do not leave menow, Leon lash. Please, do not leave me.
  69. 69. Okay. Im here. Its Im here. Dont worry. Youll be okay. Do not leave menow, Leon lash. Please, do not leave me.
  70. 70. Okay. Im here. ItsIm here. Dont worry. Youll be okay.No...I dont think so.
  71. 71. Maybe we can send you back into Space somehow.No...I dont think so.
  72. 72. That seemsLike something that Would help.No...I dont think so.
  73. 73. That seems Like something that Would help.I love you, leon lash.
  74. 74. I love you, leon lash.
  75. 75. Always.
  76. 76. Wherever IGO NOW, I WILL WAIT FOR YOU THERE.
  77. 77. Tell me you love me.
  78. 78. Please.
  79. 79. Please.
  80. 80. Please.
  81. 81. Please.
  82. 82. Am I not...bountiful?
  83. 83. Sorry.
  84. 84. FINEPISODE 1
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