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Ch3 intimacy


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  • 1. Chapter 3 INTIMACY By: Brittany Quirk
  • 2. Purpose  To explore the ways teens talk about their use of new media to craft, pursue, and end intimate relationships.  Examine how the domestication of technology influences and is influenced by contemporary teen courtship practices.  To find and discuss themes in relationship practices and technology, from conducted interviews and observations.
  • 3. Teens and New Media  Teens craft complex emotional and social realities publically and privately on and offline.  New media plays a large role in meeting, flirting, and going out, because they can pursue casual offline acquaintances.  Can facilitate communication that might otherwise not be permitted by parents.  Offers teens the ability to talk beyond the earshot of ones parents and other adults.
  • 4. 3 Primary Technologies Teens Intimacy practices primarily utilize three technologies:  1. Mobile phones-private channels of communication.  2. Instant messaging- maintain frequent casual contact with their intimates.  3. Social network sites- venues for representations of intimacy and provides ways to signal intensity of a relationship in visual and textual ways.
  • 5. Meeting and flirting  New media often plays an important role in the beginning stages of a serious relationship and in casual relationships.  Allows teens feel less vulnerable by allowing communication without meeting face-to-face.  Ex. If a teen is interested in someone they might not know well, new media allows them to interact with them in a more casual manner.  Digital communication can act as a casual follow up after meeting someone new.  New media also offers teens a place to research a potential love interest via their social network.
  • 6. New Opportunities  Meeting only online is not the norm, yet people do it.  Internet allows teens to meet others like themselves.  Youth who previously felt unheard in their communities, get the opportunity to participate in other ways.  New media is an important way in which gay teens can identify potential partners and affords them a level of independence.  Allows couples to maintain a relationship that might be geographically challenging.
  • 7. Going Out  Technology also plays a role in teens maintenance of long-term relationships.  Most teens have high expectations when it comes to frequent contact and availability of their significant other.  The seriousness of a relationship is made evident by a couples willingness to publically acknowledge it.  Teens demonstrate affection through private and public media channels.
  • 8. Online Rules for Going Out  In the beginning stages of courtship, use casual online language by communicating with intentional ambiguity to create a layer of casualness and protection.  Because of increased independence offered by the use of mobile phones, Frequent check-ins are expected from a significant other.  If a relationship is meaningful enough, an affirmation of that relationship is to be done online both by and for a significant other; which will act as a Hands-off signal to other teens. (this public declaration is usually negotiated offline prior to its appearance)  To show dedication to the relationship, it is necessary to leave public messages for and post pictures of significant others frequently.  Be willing to share your passwords with your significant other, so that they can monitor your communication.
  • 9. “Teens current use of new media might be a unique moment in the recent history of dating practices.”146
  • 10. Breaking Up  Breakups are usually mediated.  After a breakup, the digital remnants must be swept to deal with access to and the continuing digital presence of their former significant others.  It is not respectful to break up with someone via social network, instant message, or text message.  Digital representation tends to outlast a relationship.  Break ups can be done passively through status changes or publically through public messages and announcements.  After a relationship, teens tend to use the same networked publics.  Youth tend to monitor each other via their social network after a break up.
  • 11. “While teens stop engaging in continuous contact after a breakup, they still use new media to communicate indirectly with each other and their larger mediated publics.”(138)
  • 12. Vulnerability  Since many relationships include internet monitoring by both parties, a certain vulnerability is created.  New media can simultaneously increase teens vulnerability and their control over their emotional exposure, allowing them to form strong emotional connections with each one another.  This vulnerability can also open them up to being victimized by their friends, acquaintances, and other adults.  Social media allows teens to feel less exposed, because they can text or leave a message on their Facebook page instead of calling and leaving a nervous message.  Social media also makes teens are also more vulnerable to stalkers, strangers, and predators.
  • 13. Questions to Consider…  Do you feel as though you participate in any of the practices that are common among the teens described in this chapter?  Do you find the amount of independence offered by the availability of new media to teens unsettling?  Do you think any of the practices are unhealthy or unrealistic?  How do you think your relationships might have been had you grown up in this same digital era?