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Never Assume Things

Never Assume Things



Never Assume Things

Never Assume Things



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    Never Assume Things Never Assume Things Presentation Transcript

    • Never Assume things
    • The First Story
    • Manager of a Retail store in US asks: “Do you have any sales experience?” The Indian says: “Sir, I was a salesman back home in India.” Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did."
    • His first day on the job was rough but he got through it . After the store was locked up, the boss came down . “ How many sales did you make today? ” Indian boy says: “ Sir, Just ONE sale. ”
    • The boss says: “ Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.” If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?" Indian boy says: “ $101 237. 64 ” Boss says: “$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?”
    • Indian boy says : " Sir, First I sell him small fishhook . Then I sell him medium fishhook. Then I sell him large fishhook . Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
    • Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
    • Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer .
    • I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents .
    • Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.
    • The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"
    • Indian boy says: "No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind ."
    • Moral of the Story : Never Assume things, If you are not clear spell it out and get yourself cleared .
    • The Second Story
    • " Well, Bill, " said God, " I'm really confused on this one . I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell ! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows . I'm going to do something I've never done before . I'm going to let you decide where you want to go !" Mr . Gates replied, " Well, thanks, Lord . What's the difference between the two? "
    • God said, " You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide . Shall we look at Hell first? " " Sure !" said Bill . " Let's go !"
    • Bill was amazed ! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters . There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about . The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect !
    • Bill said, “ This is great! If this is Hell, I can ’ t wait to see Heaven! ” To which God replied, “ Let ’ s go !” and off they went .
    • Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing . It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell .
    • Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision . " God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell ." " As you desire, " said God .
    • Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going . He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave . He was being burned and tortured by demons .
    • “ How ya doin', Bill?” asked God . Bill responded with anguish and despair . “ This is awful ! This is not what I expected at all ! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?” “ Oh, THAT ! ” said God .
    • “ That was the screen saver” ....!! !!!!!!!
    • Moral of the Story : Never Assume things, If you are not clear spell it out and get yourself cleared .
    • The Third Story
    • A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert . During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent . He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there .
    • The nervous sergeant said, " Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women . And sir, sometimes the men have 'urges' . That's why we have the camel ." The Captain says, " I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay ."
    • About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges . Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, Pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel .
    • When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, " Is that how the men do it? " No, not really, sir ... They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are” …
    • Moral of the Story : Never Assume things, If you are not clear spell it out and get yourself cleared .
    • Thank You Very Much Sompong Yusoontorn