25 Quotes That Make You Laugh

25QuotesMake You Laugh

“Humor is reason gone mad.” - Groucho Marx

“Two things are infinite: the universe and humanstupidity; and Im not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” - Albert Einstein

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” - Mae West

“Never put off until tomorrowwhat you can do the day after tomorrow.” - Mark Twain

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Robert Maynard Hutchins

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also thinkthat sitting in a garage can make you a car.” ― Garrison Keillor

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” ― Robert A. Heinlein

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people willinsist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” - Terry Pratchett

“The differencebetween genius andstupidity is; genius has its limits.” - Albert Einstein

“Im not afraid ofdeath; I just dont want to be therewhen it happens.” - Woody Allen

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voiceof God answered, Theres just something about you that pisses me off.” - Stephen King

“Two wrongs dont make a right, but they make a good excuse.” - Thomas Stephen Szasz

“The reason I talk to myselfis because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” - George Carlin

“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merelychallenging, that would be no problem.But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” - E.B. White

“When you are courtinga nice girl an hour seemslike a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. Thats relativity.” ― Albert Einstein

“Give a man a fire and hes warm for the day, but setfire to him and hes warm for the rest of his life.” - Terry Pratchett

“If at first you dont succeed, try, try again.Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” - W.C. Fields

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ― Albert Einstein

“I always arrive late atthe office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” ― Charles Lamb

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” ― George Carlin

“I have great faith in fools - my friends call it self-confidence.” - Edgar Allan Poe

“Before you criticizesomeone, you should walka mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, youre a mile awayand you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

“All God does is watch us andkill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.” - Chuck Palahniuk Thank You Very Much Sompong Yusoontorn

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25 Quotes That Make You Laugh

by Sompong Yusoontorn on Nov 29, 2011

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