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Over time we’ve heard a succession of lies from other people about
what we need and what we don’t need – about what we can and can’t
do – about what is and isn’t possible for us. We now tell some of these
lies to ourselves and we live by them every day. Which means it’s time
for us to unlearn these lies for the sake of our own mental strength:
1. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Mentally strong people are appreciative of the obstacles in their path
because they know the obstacles are necessary stepping-stones. So
keep going, keep growing, and someday you will be able to describe your
entire life in just one sentence: “It didn’t go as planned, and that’s OK.”
2. Disappointment and sadness are not necessary.
Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid negative emotions – rather, they
accept both positive and negative emotions and let these feelings
coexist. This is a key component of their resiliency. Happiness, victory
and fulfillment are nice things that also happen to you, but they don’t
teach you and help you grow nearly as much.
3. This situation is definitely bad.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Truth be
told, the way we perceive a situation has tremendous power to either
help us or harm us. In the long run, it usually isn’t what you have or
where you are or what you’ve been through that makes or breaks you; it’s
how you think about it all and what you do next.
4. There’s no hope.
The opposite of defeat is not courage; the opposite of defeat is hope. And
there’s always hope. When you lose something good, don’t think of it as a
loss, but as an experience that gets you back on the path you were meant
to travel. Stay strong. Think clearly. Even when it feels like things are
falling apart, they aren’t.
5. You don’t really have any other choice.
Because happy, success people are mentally strong. They accept
responsibility for how their lives unfold. They believe their own
happiness and success is a byproduct of their own thinking, beliefs,
attitudes, character and behavior.
6. Successful people follow the rules
You don’t need to measure up to other people’s benchmarks. It’s not
what others think… it’s what you think about your life that counts. You,
and only you, get to decide what kind of life you want to live. Other
people’s goals and expectations don’t matter that much in the long-run.
7. There is always an easier way.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. You must run to be a
runner. You must write to be a writer. You must actively work on a business
venture to learn how to run a successful business. There is no substitute
for doing the work. So meditate on this every day: “I will do the work. It
won’t be easy. It will be worth it!”
8. Now is not the right time.
The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. And when it
comes to your goals, later is always the wrong time to do the right
thing. Why? Because time is passing. So make a decision and take a
chance. You have to dare to do it, because life is too short to wonder
what could have been.
9. You need more to be happy.
Mentally strong people know that gratitude is the best attitude
adjustment. The more goodness you see, the more you create, and the
more good things you have to smile about. Happiness doesn’t start
when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved. Happiness is what
happens now when you appreciate what you have.
10. You need to be perfect to be impressive.
If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be
nothing beneath it. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in
your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be
perfect to impress people. Let them be impressed by how you deal with
11. You have a great reason to hate them.
It’s about forgiveness. And it doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past or
forgetting what happened. It just means you’re letting go of the resentment
and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with
your life. Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt
you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.
12. Loved ones should always agree with you.
Mentally strong people know that someone who loves you won’t always
agree with you just to make you happy. If anything, they will say what
needs to be said, sincerely, regardless of whether or not you want to
hear it. It’s about acceptance and truth over agreement and ruse. And,
sometimes, it’s agreeing to disagree and being OK with it.