Advanced Mediation Boserup


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  • Advanced Mediation Boserup

    1. 1. Nordic Forum for Mediation <ul><li>Mediators' challenge – Deadlocks and Impasse in mediation </li></ul><ul><li>Helsinki, May 26 – 28, 2006 </li></ul><ul><li>Nordic Conference 2006 </li></ul>© 2007
    2. 2. How to avoid Deadlocks? - Breaking the Impasse! © 2007
    3. 3. Hans Boserup <ul><li>Mediator, Mediation Activist, </li></ul><ul><li>Appointed Mediator at Western High Court (DK), </li></ul><ul><li>Senior Lecturer, </li></ul><ul><li>Attorney at Law (Admitted to Supreme Court) </li></ul><ul><li> </li></ul><ul><li>[email_address] </li></ul>© 2007
    4. 4. Privileged Hans in Pakistan in unbelievable aftermath of Cashmere earthquake 2005 © 2007
    5. 5. Overcoming mediators' nightmares in mediation <ul><li>How to avoid impasse? </li></ul><ul><li>The more you: </li></ul><ul><li>take over the responsibility for solving the matter, </li></ul><ul><li>focus on results in a particular direction , </li></ul><ul><li>share legal knowledge, </li></ul><ul><li>ask linear questions </li></ul><ul><li>the more you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>Breaking the impasse! </li></ul><ul><li>Private meetings (caucus), </li></ul><ul><li>Free storytelling rather than questioning , </li></ul><ul><li>Circular questions, </li></ul><ul><li>Focus on empowerment and recognition , </li></ul><ul><li>Awareness of the micro dynamics in the mediation room, </li></ul><ul><li>Can break impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    6. 6. What is conflict? <ul><li>Conflict can be defined as tension between a party, needing change and a party, needing status quo or another change </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict can be defined as unmet needs </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict can be defined as a breakdown or a crisis in the parties' interaction </li></ul><ul><li>The style of mediation adopted depends on how you define conflict </li></ul><ul><li>The party in power to define the issues of conflict also possesses the power to identify solutions </li></ul>© 2007
    7. 7. What is Impasse or Deadlock? <ul><li>The definition is closely connected to your definition of conflict </li></ul><ul><li>Tension do not decrease </li></ul><ul><li>Needs are not met </li></ul><ul><li>Breakdown or crisis is not repaired </li></ul><ul><li>Context is not recognized </li></ul><ul><li>Disempowerment is not changed into empowerment </li></ul>© 2007
    8. 8. The Magic of Empathy <ul><li>Genuine empathy empower; – artificial empathy disempower </li></ul><ul><li>Empathy in turns while the other party is watching is by the parties accepted as useful and not seen as sympathy or being impartial </li></ul><ul><li>The invisible curtain while taking turns of empathic listening </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t only listen to the party; - be him with all his special personality, values, fear, pain and pride. – Conceive the world as he perceives the world. </li></ul>© 2007
    9. 9. It takes genuine empathy to get behind these resolute faces © 2007
    10. 10. Mediating in Afghanistan © 2007
    11. 11. Empathize with all parties © 2007
    12. 12. Empathize with all parties © 2007
    13. 13. How does the party experience and interact with the world? <ul><li>Cognition : How the party perceives and interprets information </li></ul><ul><li>Affectivity : The party’s range, intensity, lability, and appropriateness of emotional response </li></ul><ul><li>Interpersonal functioning : How the party chooses, initiates, and manages relationships </li></ul><ul><li>Impulse control : How the party self-regulates behavior in response to needs or desires. </li></ul><ul><li>Imagine you were him. How would life look like? </li></ul><ul><li>Summarize his expressions so he recognizes him self in your summary. </li></ul><ul><li>In your summary you ad hope , opportunities and options : </li></ul><ul><ul><li>So you would like, wish, hope … </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>So you would like to see that … </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>It is not fair that … </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>You fear that … </li></ul></ul>© 2007
    14. 14. Hans’ staf in Afghanistan © 2007
    15. 15. Empathize with his Mental Status <ul><li>Orientation </li></ul><ul><li>Attention and Concentration </li></ul><ul><li>Motivation </li></ul><ul><li>Speech </li></ul><ul><li>Thought Quality </li></ul><ul><li>Thought Content </li></ul><ul><li>Intelligence </li></ul><ul><li>Insight </li></ul><ul><li>Judgment </li></ul><ul><li>Appearance </li></ul><ul><li>Mood </li></ul><ul><li>Insecurity </li></ul><ul><li>Affective Expression </li></ul>© 2007
    16. 16. Imaging that your party due to stress reacts with an appearance similar to mental disorder <ul><li>The party appears: </li></ul><ul><li>Dramatic, emotionally labile, or erratic/unpredictable </li></ul><ul><li>Consider how you would communicate to a party being: </li></ul><ul><li>Borderline </li></ul><ul><li>Narcissistic </li></ul><ul><li>The borderline dislikes to be left alone ; - so never give him the impression that he will end up being alone </li></ul><ul><li>The narcissistic dislikes to be regarded inferior ; - so never give him the impression that you regard him inferior </li></ul><ul><li>The party appears: </li></ul><ul><li>Uncertain, anxious or fearful </li></ul><ul><li>Consider how you would communicate to a party being: </li></ul><ul><li>Avoidant </li></ul><ul><li>Obsessive-Compulsive </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware: </li></ul><ul><li>Parties with disorders are very difficult parties in mediation!!! </li></ul>© 2007
    17. 17. Pakistan-Indian Frontier – Rituals to avoid open conflict © 2007
    18. 18. Styles adopted <ul><li>Using the Nordic mediation non-model at war may compare to catholic priests advising on sexual and family issues </li></ul><ul><li>Watch these hospital beds after ethnic cleansing </li></ul>© 2007
    19. 19. Striking the right balance <ul><li>The more you take over responsibility for solving the matter, the more you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you focus on results in a particular direction , the more you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you share legal knowledge , the more you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>Private meetings (caucus) can lead to impasse and can break impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more the parties in joint sessions are able to feel own dynamics and observe the other party’s dynamics , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    20. 20. Striking the right balance <ul><li>The more you talk or otherwise have the floor , the more you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you ask linear questions , the more you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you use free storytelling rather than ask questions , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    21. 21. Striking the right balance <ul><li>The more you consider emotional data to surface unmet needs and concerns , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you focus on empowerment and recognition , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you are aware of the micro dynamics in the mediation room, the less you will meet impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    22. 22. Striking the right balance <ul><li>The more you accept yourself as part of the process (subject – subject) and not just observer (subject – object) to the process, the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you are aware of the impact of your behavior in context of empowerment and recognition , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    23. 23. Striking the right balance <ul><li>The more you free yourself from own agendas , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you are able to empathize (not sympathize) with the contrasting facts, feelings and values of the parties in turns, the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you are able to skip hypotheses, the less you will meet impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    24. 24. Afghan palace lacking mediation © 2007
    25. 25. So many beauties of cultural values to draw on inside Afghanistan © 2007
    26. 26. Once Afghanistan was known for the Moguls’ beautiful gardens © 2007
    27. 27. … And for millenniums of skilled pottery © 2007
    28. 28. Striking the right balance <ul><li>The more you realize that no questions are innocent , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you use circular questions, the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The parties’ attorneys can break and create impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    29. 29. Striking the right balance <ul><li>The more leaned back the parties’ attorneys are in the first half of the process, the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The more you manage to strike the right balance of attorneys ’ active involvement , the less you will meet impasse </li></ul><ul><li>The less you challenge the view of an attorney, the less you will meet impasse </li></ul>© 2007
    30. 30. Afghan Minister of Refugees Dr. (psychiatry) Dadfar (trained in Germany) discussing traumatized parties © 2007
    31. 31. Pick the impasse breaking strategy from each of the different styles and paradigms <ul><li>The ” generic ” style app. 35 years old </li></ul><ul><li>Other styles seen as reactions to one another – Styles presented below </li></ul><ul><li>The different styles overcome deadlocks and impasses in different ways </li></ul>© 2007
    32. 32. Characteristics <ul><li>What characterize the difference between the styles of mediation ? </li></ul><ul><li>Some of them deals very differently with dilemmas in mediation: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Neutrality </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Autonomy </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Power balance </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Mediator influence / control </li></ul></ul>© 2007
    33. 33. Mediation © 2007 A way to solve insolvable conflicts so all parties feel better
    34. 34. Afghan children learning about mediation in open air school © 2007
    35. 35. Ideas behind mediation <ul><li>Looking at conflict as a potentiality </li></ul><ul><li>Take starting point in experience of the parties </li></ul><ul><li>Having confidence that the parties have what it takes </li></ul><ul><li>Create an environment for feeling better -solutions </li></ul>© 2007
    36. 36. So many Perceptions of mediation © 2007
    37. 37. Content <ul><li>Why different styles ? Why different approaches to deadlock and impasse? </li></ul><ul><li>There is a different paradigm behind each different style and approach </li></ul><ul><li>The individual styles are connected to a variety in </li></ul><ul><ul><li>epistemology </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>psychology </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>sociology </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>organizational theory and </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>communication / linguistics </li></ul></ul>© 2007
    38. 38. 6 mainstreams <ul><li>Generic style (1970) </li></ul><ul><li>Settlement driven style (1980) </li></ul><ul><li>Cognitive systemic style (1980) </li></ul><ul><li>Transformative style (1990) </li></ul><ul><li>Humanistic style (1990) </li></ul><ul><li>Narrative style (1990) </li></ul>© 2007
    39. 39. Existence’s dimensions <ul><li>In conflict it is habitual only to deal with the physical universe from rational reflections </li></ul><ul><li>Thus you cut off approximately half of the parties’ dimensions </li></ul>© 2007
    40. 40. More dimensions <ul><li>Existence's (for the time being) perceived dimensions </li></ul>© 2007 Physical Rational Emotional Spiritual
    41. 41. Teaching Giraffe and how to summarize what you just heard © 2007
    42. 42. The generic style <ul><li>The generic style of mediation is app. 35 years old </li></ul><ul><li>The style is grounded also in emotional experience in contrast to just cognitive experiences </li></ul><ul><li>Which school (or schools) of epistemology , ideology and psychology may you connect this style to? </li></ul>© 2007
    43. 43. The generic style <ul><li>Aims towards </li></ul><ul><ul><li>1) agreement </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>2) empowerment and </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>3) recognition </li></ul></ul><ul><li>in contrast to a main focus on just one of these components </li></ul><ul><li>Communication happens part of the process via mediator and not directly between the parties </li></ul><ul><li>Structured in stages – necessary to finish one before moving to the next </li></ul>© 2007
    44. 44. Generic mediation is not for everyone © 2007
    45. 45. A conversation in 5 stages <ul><li>Stage 1: Free storytelling </li></ul><ul><li>Stage 2: The parties are defining the issues </li></ul><ul><li>Stage 3: The parties brainstorm options </li></ul><ul><li>Stage 4: The parties select and negotiate solutions </li></ul><ul><li>Stage 5: The parties enter into agreement </li></ul>© 2007
    46. 46. Stage 2: Defining the issues / tasks 1 <ul><li>Parties and mediator surface positions, interests, needs and concerns </li></ul><ul><li>Positions </li></ul><ul><li>Interests </li></ul><ul><li>Needs and concerns </li></ul>© 2007
    47. 47. Stage 2: Defining the issues / tasks 2 <ul><li>Mediator ask the parties to make out what have surfaced of: </li></ul><ul><li>Facts </li></ul><ul><li>Interests </li></ul><ul><li>Emotions </li></ul><ul><li>Needs </li></ul><ul><li>Concerns </li></ul>© 2007
    48. 48. Occasionally you must draw on rehabilitation centers when parties are traumatized © 2007
    49. 49. Are the former inhabitants of this house now your neighbors? © 2007
    50. 50. Will she ever find herself again? © 2007
    51. 51. And even professionals may become frustrated and exhausted © 2007
    52. 52. Stage 2: Defining the issues / tasks 3 <ul><li>Example of a definition of issues or tasks: </li></ul><ul><li>How may we develop a better relation to one another when in the future problems occur with the delays and at the same time reduce the problems as much as possible? </li></ul><ul><li>How can we be certain that remedy is obtained with greatest possible consideration of one another's interests - with greatest possible consideration of quality – and obtain the optimal communication between us in order to achieve a win-win solution with due consideration of respect and recognition to one another? </li></ul>© 2007
    53. 53. Stage 4: Negotiating options <ul><li>The generated options are now subject to 2 tests: </li></ul><ul><li>A: Which option may solve the defined issues? </li></ul><ul><li>B: Which of the options surviving test A are the parties prepared to carry out ? </li></ul><ul><li>!!!! Why not the reverse order? </li></ul>© 2007
    54. 54. Generic style <ul><li>This style is a stage model </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional experiences are regarded important </li></ul><ul><li>Focus on storytelling, interests, needs and concerns prior to defining the issues </li></ul>© 2007
    55. 55. Generic style <ul><li>Joint sessions preferred over caucus (private sessions) </li></ul><ul><li>Free storytelling and active listening regarded important </li></ul><ul><li>The process are facilitative rather than evaluative </li></ul><ul><li>Intended outcomes are agreement, empowerment and recognition </li></ul>© 2007
    56. 56. Advanced dispute resolution (in problem oriented ADR) <ul><li>Is about: </li></ul><ul><li>Empathy </li></ul><ul><li>Reaching agreement, achieve empowerment and recognition </li></ul><ul><li>Advanced communication </li></ul><ul><li>Advanced negotiation </li></ul><ul><li>Structure </li></ul><ul><li>Assistance from a third party </li></ul>© 2007
    57. 57. Interests and concerns habitually tend to be expressed though positions (in problem oriented ADR) <ul><li>In conflict satisfaction is normally expressed in terms of positions </li></ul><ul><li>Thus it is difficult for the parties to find common ground </li></ul><ul><li>However parties contain ability to break down positions into interests, needs and concerns providing much more opportunities to explore common ground </li></ul><ul><li>Common ground may by the parties be experienced as a key to solving their conflict </li></ul>© 2007
    58. 58. Advanced negotiation – The pyramid (in problem oriented ADR) © 2007 Positions Interest Needs/Concerns
    59. 59. Positions – Interests - Needs <ul><li>Behind any position the parties will find a particular interest </li></ul><ul><li>Behind any interest the parties will find particular unmet needs or concerns </li></ul><ul><li>Any need or concern can be regarded as an interest behind which other needs and concerns are hidden </li></ul><ul><li>The further the parties explore the depth of the their needs and concerns the more they are likely to explore common ground </li></ul>© 2007
    60. 60. Overlapping pyramids © 2007 Positions Interests Needs
    61. 61. Do you recognize the situations? © 2007
    62. 62. Everyone Can Win © 2007
    63. 63. Settlement driven style 1 <ul><li>This style is a stage model (shaped by lawyers and decision makers) an a mutant of the generic style </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional experiences are regarded important provided there are space for them </li></ul><ul><li>When the issues are defined, - focus is on interests, needs and risk assessments </li></ul>© 2007
    64. 64. Settlement driven style 2 <ul><li>Private sessions (caucus) are habitual </li></ul><ul><li>Information gathering rather than free storytelling or active listening </li></ul><ul><li>Space for both facilitative and evaluative approach </li></ul><ul><li>Intended outcomes are agreement on transactions or a plans for transactions </li></ul>© 2007
    65. 65. Settlement driven style 3 <ul><li>What are the positions? </li></ul><ul><li>Defining the issues (normally in caucus)? </li></ul><ul><li>Gathering relevant information (normally in caucus) rather than free storytelling </li></ul><ul><li>Identification of interests, needs and risks (normally in caucus) </li></ul><ul><li>Re-defining the issues (normally in caucus) </li></ul><ul><li>Brainstorming in caucus </li></ul><ul><li>Bargaining (normally) via mediator </li></ul><ul><li>Agreement </li></ul>© 2007
    66. 66. Try to imagine what the pictures are trying telling you © 2007
    67. 67. Cognitive style 1 <ul><li>Often inspired by a systems approach - the Milan School </li></ul><ul><li>This style is a cycle model – repeated cycles whenever a problem occurs </li></ul><ul><li>Defining the issues </li></ul><ul><li>Information gathering of relevant information rather than free storytelling </li></ul><ul><li>Normally joint sessions </li></ul>© 2007
    68. 68. Cognitive style 2 <ul><li>Defining the issues – mutualizing </li></ul><ul><li>Gathering relevant information </li></ul><ul><li>Re-defining the issues </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional data not regarded as useful data </li></ul><ul><li>Circular questions, strategizing , hypotheses , neutrality (domain theory) </li></ul><ul><li>Aims of the process are agreement , empowerment and recognition </li></ul>© 2007
    69. 69. Transformative style 1 <ul><li>Statements from the mediator replaced with conversation on how the parties want to go through the process </li></ul><ul><li>This style is a cycle model – repeated cycles whenever a “situation” occurs </li></ul><ul><li>Focus on situations (not on problems) of lack or emerging empowerment or recognition </li></ul><ul><li>Important constantly to focus on how the parties feel to be in the process right now and focusing on whether they feel a need for any changes </li></ul>© 2007
    70. 70. Transformative style 2 <ul><li>Joint session the habitual </li></ul><ul><li>Free storytelling and active listening </li></ul><ul><li>Reflections and summarizing </li></ul><ul><li>Go with the flow, – follow the parties around, – not managing the process but encouraging a conversation of what to do now – Go with the flow even if that means summarizing differences and not just common ground </li></ul><ul><li>Intended outcomes are empowerment and recognition </li></ul>© 2007
    71. 71. Robert Baruch Bush presenting transformative mediation in Copenhagen © 2007
    72. 72. Terminology <ul><li>Empowerment and recognition regarded as a movement from a relative weaker feeling/situation towards a relative stronger feeling/situation </li></ul>© 2007
    73. 73. Empowerment <ul><li>Empowerment is this movement : </li></ul><ul><li>Unsettled  Calmer </li></ul><ul><li>Confused  Clearer </li></ul><ul><li>Fearful  More confident </li></ul><ul><li>Disorganized  More focused </li></ul><ul><li>Unsure  More decisive </li></ul>© 2007
    74. 74. Recognition <ul><li>Recognition is this movement : </li></ul><ul><li>Uncertain about context  Understanding context </li></ul><ul><li>Self-protective  More attentive to other </li></ul><ul><li>Defensive  More open </li></ul><ul><li>Suspicious  More willing to accept other’s good faith </li></ul><ul><li>Incapable of stepping </li></ul><ul><li>outside own frame  More able to see other’s perspective </li></ul>© 2007
    75. 75. Encourage the parties to talk about <ul><li>What is the context (How do we want to do this?) </li></ul><ul><li>Exploring the situation – sharing perspectives (What is this about?) </li></ul><ul><li>Deliberating (What does this mean?) </li></ul><ul><li>Exploring possibilities – developing ideas (What is possible?) </li></ul><ul><li>Decision -making (What do I / we do?) </li></ul>© 2007
    76. 76. Assume that the parties occasionally realize that they look like this © 2007
    77. 77. So many agendas to recognize © 2007
    78. 78. Humanistic style 1 <ul><li>This style is a stage style (inspired by the generic style) </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional experiences regarded important </li></ul><ul><li>Important that the parties identify needs, concerns and interests </li></ul><ul><li>Important to separate the “stuff” of the parties from the “stuff” of the mediator </li></ul>© 2007
    79. 79. Humanistic style 2 <ul><li>Storytelling in private preparatory meetings </li></ul><ul><li>Parties defining issues in private preparatory meetings </li></ul><ul><li>Parties defining context in private preparatory meetings </li></ul><ul><li>In private sessions the parties are prepared to walk the talk in joint sessions – active listening and free storytelling </li></ul>© 2007
    80. 80. Humanistic style 3 <ul><li>Reaching understanding of impact on others lives </li></ul><ul><li>In joint sessions the mediator tends to take a more leaned back role </li></ul><ul><li>The parties are encouraged to communicate directly with on another </li></ul><ul><li>Developing transactions </li></ul><ul><li>Intended outcomes are understanding, learning, taking responsibility, empathy, reduction of fear and anger, improving the level of mood, empowerment and recognition </li></ul>© 2007
    81. 81. Every child across the Globe have feelings , hopes and unmet needs © 2007
    82. 82. Narrative style 1 <ul><li>This style is a systemic stage model </li></ul><ul><li>Feelings and emotions regarded important in the context of interaction </li></ul><ul><li>Focus is on context and interactions rather than on needs, concerns and interests </li></ul><ul><li>Active listening and free storytelling </li></ul><ul><li>Re-constructing listening and circular questions </li></ul><ul><li>Focus on dominant and alternative discourse </li></ul>© 2007
    83. 83. Narrative style 2 <ul><li>Elements and functions of layers and context in stories regarded important </li></ul><ul><li>Focus on elements in the conflict-saturated story and their functions </li></ul><ul><li>Deconstructing the conflict-saturated story </li></ul><ul><li>Changing the epistemology of the individual into a reconstruction of an alternative common story important </li></ul>© 2007
    84. 84. Narrative style 3 <ul><li>Questioning ownership to the conflict story </li></ul><ul><li>De-constructing entitlements to the context and the labeling of describing terminology adopted by the individual party and emerging of a new and common story </li></ul><ul><li>Intended outcomes are understanding , agreement, empowerment and recognition </li></ul>© 2007
    85. 85. Structure <ul><li>Storytelling </li></ul><ul><li>Engagement and context </li></ul><ul><li>Deconstructing the conflict-saturated story </li></ul><ul><li>Constructing the alternative story </li></ul><ul><li>Agreement </li></ul>© 2007
    86. 86. The Law and the Variety of Perceptions © 2007
    87. 87. Terminology 1 <ul><li>Inside the mediation movement’s terminology certain terms have a very distinct meaning </li></ul><ul><li>Empathy and assertion not regarded as competitors but rather as complimentary components </li></ul>© 2007
    88. 88. Terminology 2 <ul><li>Empathy regarded as the ability for a moment to leave own values, background, experiences and assumptions, - and for a moment to live within the party’s values, background, experiences and assumptions </li></ul>© 2007
    89. 89. Terminology 3 <ul><li>Assertion regarded as ability to: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Identify own needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Communicating these needs in such a clear way that the other empathizes with them </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Communicating these needs in such a clean way that the other is not brought into a mode of defense </li></ul></ul>© 2007
    90. 90. Is compromise a solution? <ul><li>In mediation compromise is not regarded as a lasting or sustainable solution </li></ul><ul><li>Ambition in mediation is to make the parties develop maximal empathy and assertion , making the parties realize what are needed and what they can live without </li></ul>© 2007
    91. 91. Exploring unmet needs and underlying emotions across Afghanistan © 2007
    92. 92. Emotions <ul><li>The affective grounded processes regard the emotional experiences as shortcuts to identification of unmet needs and existing concerns </li></ul><ul><li>Mediation is not therapy , and the intended outcome is not behavior changing </li></ul>© 2007
    93. 93. Basic emotions <ul><li>My experience has made me identify 4 frequent occurring emotions in the mediation process (any other emotion can be regarded as a medley of these basic emotions) : </li></ul><ul><li>Delight / absence of delight </li></ul><ul><li>Pain / anguish </li></ul><ul><li>Insecurity / fear / anxiety </li></ul><ul><li>Loss / sorrow / grief </li></ul>© 2007
    94. 94. You can even fear Buddha © 2007
    95. 95. Shortcuts to unmet needs <ul><li>Being in pain you have a need for …? </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling insecurity you have a need for …? </li></ul><ul><li>Facing loss or feeling sorrow you have a need for …? </li></ul>© 2007
    96. 96. Coping with fear in Afghanistan © 2007
    97. 97. The styles of mediation 1 <ul><li>In the generic style emotional experiences are regarded useful data </li></ul><ul><li>In the settlement driven style emotional experiences are regarded useful data given that there are room for them. However risk assessment has a higher priority </li></ul><ul><li>In the cognitive (often systemic ) style decision making is regarded important </li></ul>© 2007
    98. 98. The styles of mediation 2 <ul><li>In the transformative style interaction/relation is emphasized rather than transactions </li></ul><ul><li>In the humanistic style direct dialog and preparing the parties for this direct dialog is the important topic </li></ul><ul><li>In the narrative style context and deconstruction of the conflict-saturated story it is regarded important </li></ul>© 2007
    99. 99. Affective or cognitive grounded mediation 1 <ul><li>The affective grounded mediations believes that emotional experiences are important because: </li></ul><ul><li>They are shortcuts to unmet needs and concerns </li></ul><ul><li>Ventilation of emotions often reduces the obstacles for the outlook to common sense </li></ul><ul><li>Improving / affirming self-worth - empowerment </li></ul>© 2007
    100. 100. Affective or cognitive grounded mediation 2 <ul><li>Cognitive mediation having concerns that emotional data will keep the parties stock into their past </li></ul><ul><li>Some parties feel uncomfortable using feeling mode or words </li></ul><ul><li>Some parties haven’t got the ability to put words on their emotions </li></ul><ul><li>Some parties emphasizing efficiency prefer cognitive mediation, because the style focus on decision making </li></ul>© 2007
    101. 101. From these Afghan wells drank also Greek Emperor Alexander © 2007
    102. 102. Process oriented or settlement driven styles of mediation <ul><li>The process oriented style emphasize autonomy of the parties, the parties’ are controlling the process and the direction of the process </li></ul><ul><li>In the process oriented style the parties are encouraged to deal with the underlying conflict environment too </li></ul><ul><li>The settlement driven style emphasize achieving an agreement never the less this requires a certain amount of push from the mediator </li></ul>© 2007
    103. 103. Information gathering or free storytelling <ul><li>It is habitual for us to get information by asking questions </li></ul><ul><li>However the most efficient way to get information to the table is asking as few questions as possible </li></ul><ul><li>Use active or effective listening instead of questions – thus you don’t limit the options of information into certain tracks or scopes </li></ul><ul><li>If you have to ask questions then weigh every word </li></ul>© 2007
    104. 104. Understanding the Context © 2007
    105. 105. Questions may be dangerous <ul><li>Questions may lead </li></ul><ul><li>Questions may lead to confrontation </li></ul><ul><li>Questions may influence </li></ul><ul><li>Questions may make the party stick to his understanding or freeze him/her </li></ul><ul><li>Questions may make the mediator stick to his/hers prejudices </li></ul>© 2007
    106. 106. And the whip of the Dragon’s tail parted the rocky mountains © 2007
    107. 107. … Just one lash - And earth parted © 2007
    108. 108. Intentions behind questions <ul><li>Examining intention </li></ul><ul><li>Correcting intention </li></ul><ul><li>Exploring intention </li></ul><ul><li>Facilitating intention </li></ul>© 2007
    109. 109. Effects of questions <ul><li>Make the party stick to his understanding or freeze him/her </li></ul><ul><li>Make the mediator stick to his/hers prejudices – stimulating confrontations </li></ul><ul><li>Liberating/stimulating </li></ul><ul><li>Stimulating accept or creativity </li></ul>© 2007
    110. 110. Active listening when you are the third party <ul><li>Main focus is on making the party talk – not to talk about a given issue </li></ul><ul><li>Stimulate to reflection </li></ul><ul><li>Summarizing followed by a break ( pause) is a sophisticated way (and strategy) of getting information to the table </li></ul><ul><li>Restating followed by a break ( pause) is a sophisticated way (and strategy) of getting information to the table </li></ul>© 2007
    111. 111. Active listening when being the mediator <ul><li>Summarizing, reflecting and restating followed by a break is a way of getting information to the table and providing space for the party to talk about any issue being on his/her mind </li></ul><ul><li>Surfacing feelings - emotions </li></ul>© 2007
    112. 112. Questions when you are the mediator <ul><li>If you feel that you cannot do without questioning then let the questions be open -ended and circular (there are only few excuses for not being empathic ) </li></ul><ul><li>So what you are saying is …? </li></ul><ul><li>Please tell me whatever is on your mind? </li></ul><ul><li>Can you tell more? </li></ul><ul><li>Help us out here to understand (or clarify for us)! </li></ul>© 2007
    113. 113. Circular questions (requires practice and knowledge) 1 <ul><li>Consequence : How doe’s the problem influence the surroundings and reverse? </li></ul><ul><li>Re-framing : Is it possible to view the problem from an other's angel (probably positive intention)? </li></ul><ul><li>Advantages and disadvantages : Advantages and disadvantages by not solving the problem </li></ul>© 2007
    114. 114. Circular questions (requires practice and knowledge) 2 <ul><li>Miracles : Given that the problem is solved, how will you know that the problem is solved? </li></ul><ul><li>Proportions : What may do the problem heavier? How come that it is not heavier at this point?? </li></ul><ul><li>Exception : When was this problem not a problem? </li></ul><ul><li>Perspectives : How would you like to look back on the problem solved? What would you advice if asked for advice in a similar situation ? </li></ul>© 2007
    115. 115. Logistic <ul><li>Too many mediators and sponsors are focusing on the macro dynamics: Legislation, sponsoring, neutrality, impartiality, certifying etc. </li></ul><ul><li>The experienced mediator is aware that the personality/performance of the mediator and the micro -dynamics are the important components </li></ul>© 2007
    116. 116. Examples of positive and negative micro dynamics <ul><li>Check-Outs </li></ul><ul><li>Circular Questions </li></ul><ul><li>Clarifying the Denial of Recognition </li></ul><ul><li>Confrontation </li></ul><ul><li>Directives to Elaborate </li></ul><ul><li>Evaluation </li></ul><ul><li>Interpretations </li></ul><ul><li>Key-Word Encouragers </li></ul><ul><li>Meta Conversation </li></ul><ul><li>Minimal Encouragers </li></ul><ul><li>Mutualizing </li></ul><ul><li>Normalizing </li></ul><ul><li>Open-Ended Questions </li></ul><ul><li>Paraphrases </li></ul><ul><li>Paraphrasing a Request for Recognition </li></ul><ul><li>Parroting </li></ul><ul><li>Process Observations </li></ul><ul><li>Prompting Questions </li></ul><ul><li>Reassurance </li></ul><ul><li>Reflecting Content </li></ul><ul><li>Reflecting Feelings </li></ul><ul><li>Reflective Questions </li></ul><ul><li>Reframing </li></ul><ul><li>Request to Elaborate </li></ul><ul><li>Separating Double Massages </li></ul><ul><li>Suggestions </li></ul><ul><li>Summaries </li></ul><ul><li>Tracking Questions </li></ul>© 2007
    117. 117. Mediation is founded on <ul><li>Empathy </li></ul><ul><li>Understanding </li></ul><ul><li>Change </li></ul>© 2007
    118. 118. Please empathize; – Advise is simply not useful © 2007
    119. 119. But be aware of personality! <ul><li>Empathy </li></ul><ul><li>Anxiety </li></ul><ul><li>Aggression/stubbornness </li></ul>© 2007
    120. 120. Thanks for your attention <ul><li>Yours truly </li></ul><ul><li>Hans Boserup </li></ul>© 2007