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  • 1. In a land where nightmares and the impossible become interwoven into a masterpiece of absurdity, terror, and a torrid love affair with Jack Sparrow…
    A place that, regardless of the sun’s place in the sky, is always dark and gray…
    A location where emo and goth are one in the same…
  • 2. I
    O
    T
    R
    N
    M
    B
    T
    U
    P
    R
    E
    S
    E
    N
    T
    S
  • 3. The Nightmare Before Charlie Became a Barber with Scissorhands
    Music by Danny Elfman
  • 4. Timmy was an odd boy
    He never feared the dark
    He looked like a half a man
    And also two thirds shark
  • 5.
  • 6. With hands designed for cutting
    And fashion sense of course
    He ruled each realm of Twisted Land
    With his faithful (and dead) horse
  • 7. “Zomhorsie!” he had shouted
    To call his special friend
    “We must prepare departure
    Before the nightfall’s end!”
  • 8. With gallops of undeadness
    A presence many feared
    Out of dust and into gloom
    Zomhorsie had appeared.
  • 9. A horse of few descriptions
    Normal as he was
    If you ask me “How’s he normal?”
    I’ll tell you “Just because.”
  • 10. “What task lies before us?”
    The horse did ask odd Tim
    “I cannot tell you” Tim replied
    “Not until we begin…”
  • 11. So off the two would wander
    To finish noble goals
    No road or path would be unfit
    Not even rabbit holes
  • 12. “I spy a door,” the horse said
    “I wonder where it leads?”
    “Perhaps a place of wonder?”
    “Where everything there bleeds?”
  • 13. “Let’s open up the door now
    We have no time to waste…
    The journey we must finish
    Must lie that place”
    within
  • 14. With steadfast trepidation
    They opened up the door
    And thus they fell into a world
    They’d never seen before
  • 15.
  • 16. What is this place? Tim wondered
    It was so dark and strange
    Meat pies, trees, a giant peach
    And BellatrixLestrange?
  • 17. There were no explanations
    But questions did not cease
    Danny Elfman fighting Batman
    Wasn’t helping in the least.
  • 18. And flying high above them
    Higher than departed kin
    Was a ghost dog pulling Santa
    Well, a Santa without skin
  • 19. “I don’t know if this is queer
    Or well within the norm
    I just hope we can find a man
    To guide us through this storm”
  • 20. With that a voice of paleness
    As his complexion was
    Spoke up above the sea of odd
    And said “Don’t kill my buzz”
  • 21. It was a drunken pirate
    Or perhaps a cap happy nut
    “I know this land quite well” he said
    “I can’t escape no matter what.”
  • 22. The three dove in much deeper
    Passing many sights most grand
    Most of them dead women
    Or men with scissors on their hand
    The place felt almost safe
    But with an eerie sort of charm
    As long as you could handle blood
    Little here would raise alarm
    So onward went the travelers
    Many sights which they beheld
    Corpses, snakes and vampires
    And a cor-snake-pire meld.
  • 23. Zomhorsie lost his mind first
    Before escape was theirs
    He was left in a room of clocks
    And any mares.
    NEVER
  • 24. The over rated actor
    Was next to meet his fate
    He walked into a Sandworm’s home
    And escaped too late
  • 25. Our final survivor
    Trekked on and onward still
    No man nor bat nor wild beast
    Could close in for the kill
    He walked for many miles
    And several inches too
    He walked until his brain fell out
    (It could happen to you).
  • 26. He walked until the darkness fell
    He walked right past the void
    He walked right into nothingness
    Where he was just destroyed.
    And so his reign of terror ended
    He could not feel or see
    Everything he was and is
    Has now just ceased to be.
    The people of the world would smile
    If ever they had known
    But, alas, they never will
    Because it can’t be shown.