Translating Management Speak

TRANSLATING MANAGEMENT SPEAK

That's very interesting.
I don't disagree.
I don't totally disagree with you.
You have to show some flexibility.
We have an opportunity.
You obviously put a lot of work into this.
I disagree.
I disagree.
You may be right, but I don't care.
You have to do it whether you want to or not.
You have a problem.
This is awful.
TRANSLATING MANAGEMENT SPEAK Translation Management Speak

TRANSLATING MANAGEMENT SPEAK
In a perfect world.
Help me to understand.
You just don't understand our business.
You need to see the big picture.
Just get it working and get it out the door.
I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either.
We don't understand our business.
My boss thinks it's a good idea.
Translation Management Speak

My mind is made up. I am adamant on the subject. There is no room for discussion. But if you do want to discuss it further, my door is always open.
I appreciate your contribution.
We're going to follow a strict methodology here.
I didn't understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary?
&%^$ you.
@#%* you!
We're going to do it my way.
I still can't figure out how to start the e-mail program.

Cost of ownership has become a significant issue in desktop computing.
We have to leverage our resources.
Individual contributor.
Your project is on hold.
Wrong answer.
You needed to be more proactive.
We want all of the benefits and none of the costs.
You're working weekends.
Employee who does real work.
We've put a bullet in it.
You didn't tell me what I wanted to hear.
You should have protected me from myself.

I'd like your buy-in on this.
We want you to be the executive champion of this project.
We need to syndicate this decision.
We have to put on our marketing hats.
It's not possible. It's impractical. It won't work.
I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs.
I want to be able to blame you for my mistakes.
We need to spread the blame if it backfires.
We have to put ethics aside.
I don't know how to do it.

It's a no-brainer.
I'm glad you asked me that.
I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal.
There are larger issues at stake.
I'll never lie to you.
It's a perfect decision for me to handle.
Public relations has written a carefully phrased answer.
One person couldn't possibly come up with something this stupid.
I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts.
The truth will change frequently.

Our business is going through a paradigm shift.
Value-added.
Human Resources.
The upcoming reductions will benefit the vast majority of employees.
We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something completely different.
Expensive.
A bulk commodity, like lentils or cinder blocks.
The upcoming reductions will benefit me.

Translating Management Speak

by bill woodruff on Nov 11, 2008

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Translating Management Speak — Presentation Transcript