Empathize with the talker....put yourself into the his/her shoes
Don’t get overly effected by talkers look, dress, skin, colour, sex or style
Don’t take detailed notes, give attentions to words as well
What to Say?
Avoid saying something unnecessary
Stop talking to yourself while listening
Ask general questions
Ask for clarification
Use brief phrases
Pride and Prejudice Chapter 11 When the ladies removed after dinner, Elizabeth ran up to her sister, and seeing her well guarded from cold, attended her into the drawing-room, where she was welcomed by her two friends with many professions of pleasure; and Elizabeth had never seen them so agreeable as they were during the hour which passed before the gentlemen appeared. Their powers of conversation were considerable. They could describe an entertainment with accuracy, relate an anecdote with humour, and laugh at their acquaintance with spirit. But when the gentlemen entered, Jane was no longer the first object; Miss Bingley’s eyes were instantly turned toward Darcy, and she had something to say to him before he had advanced many steps. 79 of 593
Try doing active reading
1)by asking questions.
2)by using recall techniques, Structure, Annotation & Summarize
Reading speed . (SARAS method)
R ead at the A ppropriate S peed
Speed reading or Skimming
General reading or Accelerating
Careful reading or Phrase reading
SPEAKING FEEDBACK :
You can ask open ended questions to know more.
You can read nonverbal signs of people when they don’t understand /disagree
You can clarify question at the spot
You can end in a positive tone even with bad feedback
WRITING FEEDBACK :
You can take more time to make it more proper
You can be more detailed
You can give permanent record or evidence
You can get help from some one to take a look on your comments
Examine you own motivation.....you must set yourself for help not for creating problems.
Gain trust by using positive sense and words.
Include positive and negative points
Create sense of understanding ,Give attention to your comments and their concept that would be understood.
AVOID DEFENSIVENESS :
Don’t become defensive while receiving.
Exchange your ideas and concepts
Don’t take the criticism of your ideas as criticism of yourself.
Remember rejection of your ideas is not rejection of yourself
People share their insecurity and uncertainty with you and behave alike
If someone disagrees with you don’t immediately defend yourself or your
ENCOURAGE RESPONSE :
You must encourage response
Encourage participants to give response
Thank for response and feedback
Don’t interrupt the questions of audience
Don’t adopt discouraging verbal or nonverbal behaviour