Christiania Parent Circle - Understanding How Kids Communicate social media


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Lecture delivered to Christiania Lutheran 2012 late as part of their Parenting Circle Talks Series. Topic: Equipping Parents to understand and engage with their kids through social media. Tips, talking points and reference urls in speaking notes section of each slide.

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  • Awareness of what your kids are doingfacebook, twitter, tumblr, texting, pinterstpix show locations etcInfo cite: Cite:Creative Commons Attribution,  Some rights reserved by RLJ Photography NYC
  • Information Cite: Billy Cripe, “Enterprise Software and the Millennial Shift” 19, 2012Image Cite: Creative Commons Attribution:  Some rights reserved by CarstenSchertzer
  • Teens = 12 – 17 years oldWe operate in an Attention Economy where Attention is Traded for Information. It is bi-directional as any economy must be. So if I, a user, provide you, a friend or a stranger with information, especially new or unique or sensational information, I expect to be rewarded with your attention. I want to matter.Social media lets us cast an extremely wide net to find someone who will give us attention and reaffirm that we matter!This goes back to some extremely basic human characteristics – namely the meeting of core Maslovian needs reinforced in a very Pavolvian manner!This risk is of an escalating expectations of sensationalism combined with extremely convenient production (cell phone cameras, webcams, instant upload), extremely wide distribution and a storage system that never forgets.Stats Cite:
  • Graphic source:www.pingdom.comData estimated on age data from AdPlanner. Data soruce: DoubleClick Ad Planner (google). U.S. demographics June 2012Background image cite:Free WallpapersVia: owned by image artists/authorsBy meddiah1
  • The Museum of Me by Intel: kid Commons Attribution Some rights reserved by mdanysMuddy kids – top rightCreative Commons Attribution by Flickr user Some rights reserved by laffy4k kids bottomCreative Commons Attribution by Flickr user    Some rights reserved by Capt' Gorgeous woman courtesy of
  • Flicker User: MyLifeStorycreative commons attribution
  • Library of CongressVia: is the successor of Ainsworth Rand Spofford, Dr. Herbert Putnam, was relatively young when he started working in the position. Here he is around 1900.
  •  Creative Commons Attribution, No Derivatives (no edits to image allowed) Some rights reserved by Børnefotograf Kristina Daley
  • Don’t abdicate your responsibilityIgnorance does not excuse your responsibility before the law (kazaa, napster, RIAA suits against parents of kids who illegally shared music)Don’t hand off your responsibility to your kids before they’re readyImage Cite: Flicker User: by Sudhamshu creative commons attribution
  • Kids need to be accountable to you as a parent.Relationships: Who your kids know vs who they KNOW that they knowThe number one thing you need to be aware of about your kids. Who are their friends?Realize the “friction” to getting a friend on facebook is MUCH lower than it is in real life. This makes it easier to engage “casually”. It is also the way creeps can enter your childs life.Texting, Chat are even bigger ways for new relationships or casual relationships to spawn. – social gamesContent: what they say about themselves, what they say about others, what others say about them.Not just words. It’s the apps they use, the pictures and video they create, the posts they “LIKE”What others say about them is how cyber bullying happens (e.g. Amanda Todd). Cyberbullying has left the classroom.88% of social media-using teens have witnessed other people be mean or cruel on social network sites.15% of social media-using teens say they have been the target of online meanness.(pew Set family guidelines. How much is acceptable. Every family has their own guidelines.E.g. screen time = reading time (screens count for any screen) - computers do not equal phones or tablets. Kids are clever and will follow your word but only your word.You set the guidelines, your child has to follow it, don’t let it be come a controlling factor for them(video game addition story)This can get difficult for you as a parent! It is easy to offload parenting to a screen.You need to know that social media is embedded in apps, devices, XBOX, PS2, Internet Chat (e.g. google chat).Amanda Todd Story: to monitorexpectation of responsibilityAccountabilityit’s not about rights, or trustImage cite:ATTRIBUTION NOT REQUIRED Benjamin MillerLICENSE INFOLicense: FSP Standard LicenseFormerly Webphotomart Standard License
  • PRVILEGEThe flip side of demonstrated responsibility is privilege.They have to go hand in hand. This demonstrates that you are not “authoritarian” with rules for the sake of rules. But rather, they earn privilege as they demonstrate good judgment, in choice and interaction of relationships, content and time.Guidelines and privileges should be adjusted based on age and maturity, technology and context.If you have multiple kids in the house (e.g. pre-teens and teens) beware of “fairness” arguments.Privileges are not “fixed”. They are dependent on continued responsibility. This allows you as the parent to give privilege along a gradient.Technology is our friend as parents. APPS allow us to give granular control (e.g. Kindle, Nintendo DS, tablets, laptops)Allows your kids to learn in a more protected environment THERE IS NO COMPLETELY SAFE ENVIRONMENT Commons Attribution Some rights reserved by nattu
  • Creative Commons: Attribution   Some rights reserved by woodleywonderworks
  • There are lots of ways and places that kids communicate.It’s texting, It’s Social Media, It’s art hubs, It’s apps. It’s in technology they bring home from school, or access at schoolFlicker User: Rosaura Ochoa – Creative Commons - Attribution
  • Parental Controls - browsers, devices, social media apps, video game systems, NetFlix, Network Control (OpenDNS -, built – in router controls), Wi-Fi access controls logging & reporting, phone (tethering, apps that help lockdown the devices. SmartAPPProtector - Control – no right to privacy – it’s a privilege not a right. Computing in public spaces (kitchen, living room, etc). Return device policy.Time Control – set and enforce time limits for network access, passwords etc.Parenting is hard!Image Cite: Commons Attribution Some rights reserved by Sh4rp_i
  • Talk to your teen! Regularly.How they’re doingWhat they’re doing.How they feel about it.
  • Be a guard rail, not a sledge hammerCreative Commons Attribution by Flickr User Pink Sherbet Photography
  • Talk to your children’s friend’s parents.Communicate with your peers.Ask your network IT staff at work for help.Members of the church are your brothers and sisters. Rely on them for their expertise. It helps to know where your kids will and will not have boundaries. Licensed by BillyCripe & BloomThinkAll rights reserved
  •  Creative Commons Attribution, No Derivatives (no edits to image allowed) Some rights reserved by Børnefotograf Kristina Daley
  • Christiania Parent Circle - Understanding How Kids Communicate social media

    1. 1. Christiania Parent CircleUnderstanding How Kids Communicate on Social Media BloomThink Billy & Kellie-Ann Cripe 1
    2. 2. 1. Awareness: Everyone is Doing It2. Parent’s Role3. Tips
    3. 3. 1. Awareness: Everyone is Doing it1.5 Billion People7 of 10 Internet Users2.1 Social Networks on Average
    4. 4. The Millennials• Largest Generation in US History• 78 million strong• Gen X – one of the smallest generations
    5. 5. Kid’s Experience With Social Media •12 years old – First Cell Phone • 64% - 12 year olds using social sites • 80% - teens using social sites •37% - teens who video chat5
    6. 6. Kids AreMore LikelyTo Run Into An Adult ThanSomeoneTheir Own AgeOn Social Sites
    7. 7. They (and we) have all become Curators…
    8. 8. But, thatdoes notmean we areany good at it
    9. 9. TYPICAL Museum Curator Job Requirements•Masters or PhD Degree• 6-8 years of schooling•5+ Years of Experience• Depth of Expertise
    10. 10. Parent’s Role
    11. 11. 3 Areas: Responsibility, Accountability, PrivilegeThe Buck Stops With You Responsibility Before God Before the Law Before your Kids
    12. 12. 3 Areas:Responsibility, Accountability, Privilege Relationships Content Time
    13. 13. 3 Areas:Responsibility, Accountability, Privilege Flexible Freedoms Expand & Contract • Age & Maturity • Technology • Context
    14. 14. Do Not Let Privilege Turn Into AnOverwhelming Burden
    15. 15. 3. Practical Tips
    16. 16. What Should ParentsLook For?
    17. 17. Lock It Down•Parental Controls•Network Controls•Location Controls•Time Controls
    18. 18. Love ThemParents, do notexasperate yourchildren;instead, bring themup in the trainingand instruction ofthe Lord.Ephesians 6:4
    19. 19. Share What You Know. Ask What You Want To Learn.
    20. 20. Final Thoughts
    21. 21. Choose Who Holds Your Child’s Hand. Them …
    22. 22. Or You