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Rapid rapport<br />Verbal Technology to Build Chemistry FAST<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />1<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010...
Increase communicationeffectiveness up to 5x<br />What you get:<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />2<br />Slide Deck:  © 2...
Once upon a time, in a Silicon Valley startup, there was a Program Manager…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />3<br />Slid...
…the startup brought in a new CTO…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />4<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
 a<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />5<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
ABOUT My path<br />How to reach me:  at the end<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />6<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<b...
Mechanical Engineer by trainingControls > Automation > UN*X…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />7<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010...
…UN*X > Program, Product & Business Mgt<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />8<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMProduct Line and Program ManagementMatrix Management = Influence without Authority<br />Neuro Lingu...
I’ve got good news & bad news<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />10<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />11<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />12<br />
outline<br />Outcome:  Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport			Fast<br /><ul><li>Why:  Significance an...
How:  Applying to Agile|Scrum
What’s Behind This:  Get the Abstraction
Summary & Resources</li></ul>Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />13<br />
WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER<br />Before Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Mal...
Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />15<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
Ever had a telemarketer call?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />16<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
& you asked to hear more? <br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />17<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
Even socially<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />18<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />19<br />
HOW:  APPLYING TO AGILE|SCRUM<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />20<br />
Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Wordse.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania<br />Verbal vectors:<br />...
Translating into (Agile) Practice<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />22<br />
7%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />23<br />
35+%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />24<br />
55%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />25<br />
5x?						Or  	10x?<br />What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?<br />Silicon Valley Code Cam...
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />27<br />
THE TIP?  LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />28<br />
The Principle<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />29<br />
Build Rapport:  Offer similar patterns<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%):  keys to how people represent information – ...
Pair off:  Mirroring & Matching<br />Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Person A:  State an insi...
Participant Insights:  Verbal Mirroring & Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />...
WHAT’s BEHIND THIS?<br />Get the Abstraction<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />33<br />
It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />34<br />
Virginia Satir’s Change Model<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />35<br />
Principle:  Success Leaves Footprints<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />36<br />
NLP Model of Communication<br />Unconscious Programming = Barrier:  Friend or Foe?  Fight or Flight?<br />Silicon Valley C...
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />38<br />
Pair off:  Mis-Matching<br />Keep statements short<br />Person A:  State an insight from this or another source today<br /...
Participant Insights:  Verbal Mis-Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />40<br />
SUMMARY<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />41<br />
Two types of students<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />42<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />43<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />44<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
DECIDE:  Which TYPE are you?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />45<br />
Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%):  keys to how people represent infor...
Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2010 B. Maloney<br />47<br />
35+%:  Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo:  Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<b...
Resources<br />Seminal Work:Richard Bandler & John Grinder,Frogs into Princes<br />For a far easier Introduction:Michael B...
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Rapid Rapport: Silicon Valley Code Camp 2010

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Wish you could persuade storm troopers these are not the 'droids they're looking for? How about lower communication barriers in the first 60s of any meeting? Would you like to influence how others perceive you in interviews, when networking or working in pairs and teams? You can build rapport instantly & influence without authority whether in person or simply over a phone.

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Transcript of "Rapid Rapport: Silicon Valley Code Camp 2010"

  1. 1. Rapid rapport<br />Verbal Technology to Build Chemistry FAST<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />1<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  2. 2. Increase communicationeffectiveness up to 5x<br />What you get:<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />2<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  3. 3. Once upon a time, in a Silicon Valley startup, there was a Program Manager…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />3<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  4. 4. …the startup brought in a new CTO…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />4<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  5. 5. a<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />5<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  6. 6. ABOUT My path<br />How to reach me: at the end<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />6<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  7. 7. Mechanical Engineer by trainingControls > Automation > UN*X…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />7<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  8. 8. …UN*X > Program, Product & Business Mgt<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />8<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  9. 9. Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMProduct Line and Program ManagementMatrix Management = Influence without Authority<br />Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner<br />Healthy Chocolate Coach<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />9<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  10. 10. I’ve got good news & bad news<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />10<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  11. 11. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />11<br />
  12. 12. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />12<br />
  13. 13. outline<br />Outcome: Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport Fast<br /><ul><li>Why: Significance and Basis
  14. 14. How: Applying to Agile|Scrum
  15. 15. What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction
  16. 16. Summary & Resources</li></ul>Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />13<br />
  17. 17. WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER<br />Before Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />14<br />
  18. 18. Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />15<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  19. 19. Ever had a telemarketer call?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />16<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  20. 20. & you asked to hear more? <br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />17<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  21. 21. Even socially<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />18<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  22. 22. Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />19<br />
  23. 23. HOW: APPLYING TO AGILE|SCRUM<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />20<br />
  24. 24. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Wordse.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania<br />Verbal vectors:<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />21<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />
  25. 25. Translating into (Agile) Practice<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />22<br />
  26. 26. 7%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />23<br />
  27. 27. 35+%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />24<br />
  28. 28. 55%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />25<br />
  29. 29. 5x? Or 10x?<br />What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />26<br />
  30. 30. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />27<br />
  31. 31. THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />28<br />
  32. 32. The Principle<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />29<br />
  33. 33. Build Rapport: Offer similar patterns<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%): keys to how people represent information – another talk<br />Physiological (55%!)<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />30<br />---------------------<br />
  34. 34. Pair off: Mirroring & Matching<br />Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Person A: State an insight from this or another source today<br />Person B: Respond using similar verbal behaviors<br />Switch roles at signal<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />31<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />
  35. 35. Participant Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />32<br />
  36. 36. WHAT’s BEHIND THIS?<br />Get the Abstraction<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />33<br />
  37. 37. It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />34<br />
  38. 38. Virginia Satir’s Change Model<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />35<br />
  39. 39. Principle: Success Leaves Footprints<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />36<br />
  40. 40. NLP Model of Communication<br />Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />37<br />Mind processes~134 bps <br />in groups of<br />7 +/- 2 “chunks”<br />2B bps info<br />Delete<br />Distort<br />Generalize<br />
  41. 41. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />38<br />
  42. 42. Pair off: Mis-Matching<br />Keep statements short<br />Person A: State an insight from this or another source today<br />Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors<br />Switch roles at signal<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />39<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />
  43. 43. Participant Insights: Verbal Mis-Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />40<br />
  44. 44. SUMMARY<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />41<br />
  45. 45. Two types of students<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />42<br />
  46. 46. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />43<br />
  47. 47. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />44<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  48. 48. DECIDE: Which TYPE are you?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />45<br />
  49. 49. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%): keys to how people represent information<br />Physiological (55%!)<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />46<br />
  50. 50. Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />47<br />
  51. 51. 35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />48<br />
  52. 52. Resources<br />Seminal Work:Richard Bandler & John Grinder,Frogs into Princes<br />For a far easier Introduction:Michael Brooks, Instant Rapport (available in libraries)<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />49<br />
  53. 53. Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMAgile Strategies & Tactics from Lab to Launch<br />@berniemaloney<br />linkedin.com/in/berniemaloney<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />50<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />
  54. 54. FIN<br />UtProsim. Namaste.<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />51<br />
  55. 55. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2010 B. Maloney<br />52<br />

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