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2011 SVCC: Creating Influence, On Demand

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Techniques to build rapport fast. Given at Silicon Valley Code Camp, 10/2011

Techniques to build rapport fast. Given at Silicon Valley Code Camp, 10/2011

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  • Also, Fundamental Attribution Error, Denning p. 422004 Elections; Contradictory Statements; fMRI study at Emory Univeristy; blatantly self-contradictory statementsfMRI study showed areas associated with REASONING were inactive in participantsWhile areas associated with EMOTION were lit, including conflict resolutionOnce interpretation found to support original position, brain areas of REWARD & PLEASURE lit up – leading to reinforcement of original position
  • Transcript

    • 1. Rapid rapport
      Creating Influence On Demand
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      1
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 2. Increase communicationeffectiveness up to 5x
      What you get:
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      2
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 3. Would IT BE OK To SEE A DEMO?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      3
    • 4. Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMProduct Line and Program Managementmatrix management = Influence without Authority
      Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      4
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 5. I’ve got good news & bad news
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      5
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 6. Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      6
    • 7. Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      7
    • 8. outline
      Outcome: Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport Fast
      • Why: Significance and Basis
      • 9. How: Applications in Technology Teams
      • 10. What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction
      • 11. Summary & Resources
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      8
    • 12. WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER
      Before Confirmation Bias
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      9
    • 13. Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      10
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 14. Ever had a telemarketer call?
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      11
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 15. & you asked to hear more?
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      12
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 16. Even socially
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      13
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 17. Confirmation Bias
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      14
    • 18. HOW: APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      15
    • 19. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Wordse.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania
      Verbal vectors:
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
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      Tone, Pitch
      Tempo: Speed & Cadence
      Timbre
      Volume
    • 20. Translating into (Agile) Practice
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      17
    • 21. 7%
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      18
    • 22. 35+%
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      19
    • 23. 55%
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      20
    • 24. 5x? Or 10x?
      What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      21
    • 25. Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      22
    • 26. THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      23
    • 27. The Principle
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
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    • 28. Build Rapport: Offer similar patterns
      Tonality (35+%!)
      Words (7%): keys to how people represent information – another talk
      Physiological (55%!)
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      25
      ---------------------
      ---------------------
    • 29. Pair off: Verbal Mirroring & Matching
      Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)
      Person A: Start with a Question
      Person B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > Question
      Switch roles at signal
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
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      Tone, Pitch
      Tempo: Speed & Cadence
      Timbre
      Volume
    • 30. Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      27
    • 31. WHAT’s BEHIND THIS?
      Get the Abstraction
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      28
    • 32. It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      29
    • 33. Virginia Satir’s Change Model
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
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    • 34. Principle: Success Leaves Footprints
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      31
    • 35. NLP Model of Communication
      Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight?
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      32
      Mind processes~134 bps
      in groups of
      7 +/- 2 “chunks”
      2B bps info
      Delete
      Distort
      Generalize
    • 36. Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)
      Question || Short Response || Question back
      Keep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior
      Pair off: Layer in Physical Mirroring & Matching
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      33
      Tone, Pitch
      Tempo: Speed & Cadence
      Timbre
      Volume
    • 37. Insights: Physical Mirroring & Matching
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
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    • 38. Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
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    • 39. Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)
      Question || Short Response || Question back
      Keep movements gentle,
      once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe
      Pair off: Pacing & Leading
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      36
    • 40. Insights: Pacing & Leading
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      37
    • 41. BONUS (time permitting): Mis-Matching
      Keep statements short
      Person A: State an insight from this or another source today
      Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors
      Switch roles at signal
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      38
      Tone, Pitch
      Tempo: Speed & Cadence
      Timbre
      Volume
    • 42. Insights: Verbal Mis-Matching
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
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      39
    • 43. SUMMARY
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
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    • 44. Two types of students
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
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    • 45. Silicon Valley Code Camp
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    • 46. Silicon Valley Code Camp
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      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 47. DECIDE: Which TYPE are you?
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
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    • 48. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words
      Tonality (35+%!)
      Words (7%): keys to how people represent information
      Physiological (55%!)
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      45
    • 49. Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      46
    • 50. 35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching
      Tone, Pitch
      Tempo: Speed & Cadence
      Timbre
      Volume
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      47
    • 51. Resources
      Seminal Work:Richard Bandler & John Grinder,Frogs into Princes
      For a far easier Introduction:Michael Brooks, Instant Rapport (available in libraries)
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
      48
    • 52. Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMTurning Strategies into Results, from startup to beyond $100M
      about.me/berniemaloney
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
      49
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
    • 53. FIN
      UtProsim. Namaste.
      Silicon Valley Code Camp
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      50
    • 54. Silicon Valley Code Camp
      Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney
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