Rapid rapport<br />Creating Influence On Demand<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />1<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<b...
Increase communicationeffectiveness up to 5x<br />What you get:<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />2<br />Slide Deck:  © 2...
Would IT BE OK To SEE A DEMO?<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Dec...
Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMProduct Line and Program Managementmatrix management = Influence without Authority<br />Neuro Lingu...
I’ve got good news & bad news<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />5<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />6<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />7<br />
outline<br />Outcome:  Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport			Fast<br /><ul><li>Why:  Significance an...
How:  Applications in Technology Teams
What’s Behind This:  Get the Abstraction
Summary & Resources</li></ul>Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />8<br />
WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER<br />Before Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Mal...
Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />10<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
Ever had a telemarketer call?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />11<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
& you asked to hear more? <br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />12<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
Even socially<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />13<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />14<br />
HOW:  APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />15<br />
Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Wordse.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania<br />Verbal vectors:<br />...
Translating into (Agile) Practice<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />17<br />
7%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />18<br />
35+%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />19<br />
55%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />20<br />
5x?						Or  	10x?<br />What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?<br />Silicon Valley Code Cam...
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />22<br />
THE TIP?  LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />23<br />
The Principle<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />24<br />
Build Rapport:  Offer similar patterns<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%):  keys to how people represent information – ...
Pair off:  Verbal Mirroring & Matching<br />Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Person A:  Start ...
Insights:  Verbal Mirroring & Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />27<br />
WHAT’s BEHIND THIS?<br />Get the Abstraction<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />28<br />
It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />29<br />
Virginia Satir’s Change Model<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />30<br />
Principle:  Success Leaves Footprints<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />31<br />
NLP Model of Communication<br />Unconscious Programming = Barrier:  Friend or Foe?  Fight or Flight?<br />Silicon Valley C...
Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Question || Short Response || Question back<br />Keep movemen...
Insights:  Physical Mirroring & Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />34<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />35<br />
Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Question || Short Response || Question back<br />Keep movemen...
Insights:  Pacing & Leading<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />37<br />
BONUS (time permitting):  Mis-Matching<br />Keep statements short<br />Person A:  State an insight from this or another so...
Insights:  Verbal Mis-Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />39<br />
SUMMARY<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />40<br />
Two types of students<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />41<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />42<br />
Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />43<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
DECIDE:  Which TYPE are you?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />44<br />
Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%):  keys to how people represent infor...
Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck:  © 2011 B. Maloney<br />46<br />
35+%:  Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo:  Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<b...
Resources<br />Seminal Work:Richard Bandler & John Grinder,Frogs into Princes<br />For a far easier Introduction:Michael B...
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2011 SVCC: Creating Influence, On Demand

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Techniques to build rapport fast. Given at Silicon Valley Code Camp, 10/2011

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  • Also, Fundamental Attribution Error, Denning p. 422004 Elections; Contradictory Statements; fMRI study at Emory Univeristy; blatantly self-contradictory statementsfMRI study showed areas associated with REASONING were inactive in participantsWhile areas associated with EMOTION were lit, including conflict resolutionOnce interpretation found to support original position, brain areas of REWARD &amp; PLEASURE lit up – leading to reinforcement of original position
  • 2011 SVCC: Creating Influence, On Demand

    1. 1. Rapid rapport<br />Creating Influence On Demand<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />1<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    2. 2. Increase communicationeffectiveness up to 5x<br />What you get:<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />2<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    3. 3. Would IT BE OK To SEE A DEMO?<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />3<br />
    4. 4. Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMProduct Line and Program Managementmatrix management = Influence without Authority<br />Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />4<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    5. 5. I’ve got good news & bad news<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />5<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    6. 6. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />6<br />
    7. 7. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />7<br />
    8. 8. outline<br />Outcome: Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport Fast<br /><ul><li>Why: Significance and Basis
    9. 9. How: Applications in Technology Teams
    10. 10. What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction
    11. 11. Summary & Resources</li></ul>Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />8<br />
    12. 12. WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER<br />Before Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />9<br />
    13. 13. Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />10<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    14. 14. Ever had a telemarketer call?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />11<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    15. 15. & you asked to hear more? <br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />12<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    16. 16. Even socially<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />13<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    17. 17. Confirmation Bias<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />14<br />
    18. 18. HOW: APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />15<br />
    19. 19. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Wordse.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania<br />Verbal vectors:<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />16<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />
    20. 20. Translating into (Agile) Practice<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />17<br />
    21. 21. 7%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />18<br />
    22. 22. 35+%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />19<br />
    23. 23. 55%<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />20<br />
    24. 24. 5x? Or 10x?<br />What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />21<br />
    25. 25. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />22<br />
    26. 26. THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />23<br />
    27. 27. The Principle<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />24<br />
    28. 28. Build Rapport: Offer similar patterns<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%): keys to how people represent information – another talk<br />Physiological (55%!)<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />25<br />---------------------<br />---------------------<br />
    29. 29. Pair off: Verbal Mirroring & Matching<br />Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Person A: Start with a Question<br />Person B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > Question<br />Switch roles at signal<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />26<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />
    30. 30. Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />27<br />
    31. 31. WHAT’s BEHIND THIS?<br />Get the Abstraction<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />28<br />
    32. 32. It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />29<br />
    33. 33. Virginia Satir’s Change Model<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />30<br />
    34. 34. Principle: Success Leaves Footprints<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />31<br />
    35. 35. NLP Model of Communication<br />Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />32<br />Mind processes~134 bps <br />in groups of<br />7 +/- 2 “chunks”<br />2B bps info<br />Delete<br />Distort<br />Generalize<br />
    36. 36. Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Question || Short Response || Question back<br />Keep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior<br />Pair off: Layer in Physical Mirroring & Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />33<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />
    37. 37. Insights: Physical Mirroring & Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />34<br />
    38. 38. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />35<br />
    39. 39. Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)<br />Question || Short Response || Question back<br />Keep movements gentle, <br /> once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe<br />Pair off: Pacing & Leading<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />36<br />
    40. 40. Insights: Pacing & Leading<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />37<br />
    41. 41. BONUS (time permitting): Mis-Matching<br />Keep statements short<br />Person A: State an insight from this or another source today<br />Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors<br />Switch roles at signal<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />38<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />
    42. 42. Insights: Verbal Mis-Matching<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />39<br />
    43. 43. SUMMARY<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />40<br />
    44. 44. Two types of students<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />41<br />
    45. 45. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />42<br />
    46. 46. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />43<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    47. 47. DECIDE: Which TYPE are you?<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />44<br />
    48. 48. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words<br />Tonality (35+%!)<br />Words (7%): keys to how people represent information<br />Physiological (55%!)<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />45<br />
    49. 49. Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />46<br />
    50. 50. 35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching<br />Tone, Pitch<br />Tempo: Speed & Cadence<br />Timbre<br />Volume<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />47<br />
    51. 51. Resources<br />Seminal Work:Richard Bandler & John Grinder,Frogs into Princes<br />For a far easier Introduction:Michael Brooks, Instant Rapport (available in libraries)<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />48<br />
    52. 52. Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMTurning Strategies into Results, from startup to beyond $100M<br />about.me/berniemaloney<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />49<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />
    53. 53. FIN<br />UtProsim. Namaste.<br />Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />50<br />
    54. 54. Silicon Valley Code Camp<br />Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney<br />51<br />
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