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my	
  friend	
  watches	
  sherlock	
  for	
  the	
  
first	
  4me	
  (the	
  reichenbach	
  fall)	
  
i	
  will	
  be	
  blue	
  
my	
  friend	
  will	
  be	
  red	
  
is	
  that	
  benadryl	
  
cabbagepatch	
  	
  
tbh	
  i	
  think	
  he	
  looks	
  like	
  an	
  
alien	
  	
  
	
  
i	
  think	
  the	
  kid	
  is	
  more	
  
a;rac4ve	
  
i	
  don’t	
  see	
  it	
  
DUCK	
  FACE	
  
did	
  he	
  just	
  say	
  “do	
  you	
  want	
  
a	
  cuppa	
  mate?”	
  ok	
  we	
  get	
  it	
  
you’re	
  bri4sh	
  
what’s	
  with	
  the	
  scarf	
  
OMG	
  SPILLING	
  TEA	
  
REALLY	
  DO	
  THEY	
  REALLY	
  
NEED	
  TO	
  KEEP	
  
REMINDING	
  US	
  THAT	
  
THEY’RE	
  BRITISH	
  
shh	
  it’s	
  funny	
  
why	
  is	
  he	
  puVng	
  gum	
  on	
  
the	
  glass	
  with	
  his	
  spit	
  he’ll	
  
get	
  caught	
  
he	
  wants	
  to	
  get	
  caught	
  
why	
  the	
  fuck	
  
imma	
  bad	
  bitch	
  imma	
  
imma	
  bad	
  bitch	
  
omg	
  sherlock	
  i’m	
  such	
  a	
  
big	
  fan	
  sign	
  my	
  boob	
  
pls	
  
ok	
  i	
  can	
  kind	
  of	
  see	
  why	
  
you	
  would	
  think	
  he	
  is	
  
a;ract-­‐	
  oH	
  MY	
  GOD	
  
welcome	
  friend	
  
he’s	
  talking	
  about	
  
congressional	
  legislature	
  and	
  
it’s	
  turning	
  me	
  on	
  
is	
  that	
  microsoX	
  
oh	
  my	
  god	
  
oh	
  yes	
  we	
  have	
  
boarding	
  schools	
  
because	
  we	
  are	
  bri4sh	
  
boys	
  are	
  blue	
  and	
  girls	
  
are	
  pink	
  because	
  we	
  
must	
  enforce	
  gender	
  
roles	
  to	
  children	
  
you’ve	
  been	
  looking	
  at	
  social	
  jus4ce	
  stuff	
  
again	
  haven’t	
  you	
   i	
  am	
  in	
  a	
  rage	
  
why	
  so	
  many	
  ques4on	
  
marks	
  are	
  you	
  a	
  
seventh	
  grade	
  girl	
  on	
  
msn	
  
the	
  three	
  Ss	
  of	
  being	
  sherlock:	
  
Sexy,	
  Smart	
  and	
  full	
  of	
  Shit	
  	
  
sherlock	
  i	
  spent	
  a	
  lot	
  of	
  money	
  on	
  this	
  green	
  screen	
  u	
  be;er	
  
listen	
  to	
  me	
  
omg	
  they	
  are	
  handcuffed	
  
together	
  and	
  sherlock	
  just	
  
yelled	
  get	
  on	
  your	
  knees	
  
he	
  can	
  handcuff	
  me	
  and	
  yell	
  
that	
  to	
  me	
  
go	
  to	
  your	
  right	
  john	
  oh	
  
yeah	
  that’s	
  it	
  that’s	
  the	
  
spot	
  john	
  oh	
  yeah	
  
gAAAAYYYYYYYYY	
  
	
  
it’s	
  ok	
  they	
  said	
  no	
  
homo	
  
i	
  never	
  heard	
  them	
  say	
  no	
  
homo	
  
well	
  then	
  
double	
  decker	
  bus	
  WE	
  ARE	
  
BRITISH	
  take	
  a	
  shot	
  
what	
  did	
  she	
  just	
  
say	
  she	
  can	
  breed	
  
him	
  what	
  
no	
  read	
  him	
  you	
  
dumbass	
  
omg	
  isn’t	
  that	
  sexy	
  
you	
  like	
  watching	
  sherlock	
  
play	
  with	
  his	
  balls?	
  
that	
  face	
  you	
  make	
  when	
  
the	
  boy	
  you	
  like	
  texts	
  you	
  
back	
  
when	
  he	
  wants	
  the	
  
nudes	
  
OK	
  THERE	
  
are	
  they	
  going	
  to	
  have	
  a	
  
dance	
  off	
  
he’s	
  talking	
  about	
  how	
  
disappointed	
  he	
  is	
  	
  
	
  
	
  
	
  
	
  
he	
  sounds	
  like	
  my	
  
parents	
  
only	
  bri4sh	
  people	
  say	
  
“sissy”	
  DRINK	
  
that’s	
  sexy	
  
he’s	
  about	
  to	
  kill	
  
someone	
  
i	
  don’t	
  care	
  
ughhh	
  did	
  i	
  men4on	
  i	
  have	
  a	
  
thing	
  for	
  dress	
  shoes	
  
ok	
  calm	
  down	
  	
  
	
  
	
  
	
  
i	
  am	
  not	
  like	
  my	
  brother	
  microsoX	
  
	
  (i	
  am	
  big	
  and	
  hard)	
  
they	
  look	
  like	
  they’re	
  
about	
  to	
  kiss	
  	
  
oh	
  honey	
  you	
  have	
  no	
  
idea	
  
yes	
  invite	
  the	
  big	
  scary	
  man	
  with	
  
the	
  ta;oos	
  inside	
  of	
  your	
  house	
  
don’t	
  stereotype	
  
he’s	
  literally	
  about	
  to	
  kill	
  her	
  
shut	
  the	
  fuck	
  up	
  
ooh	
  the	
  heavy	
  
breathing	
  
SHOOOOOOEEEEESSSS	
  
no	
  
w_	
  are	
  you	
  breaking	
  up	
  
with	
  me	
  
or	
  is	
  it	
  one	
  of	
  those	
  really	
  
cool	
  proposal	
  things	
  where	
  
you	
  pretend	
  to	
  kill	
  yourself	
  
and	
  then	
  land	
  on	
  a	
  
trampoline	
  that	
  spells	
  out	
  
marry	
  me	
  
	
  
not	
  that	
  i’ve	
  fantasized	
  
about	
  that	
  or	
  anything	
  
sherlock	
  please	
  don’t	
  do	
  
this	
  over	
  the	
  phone	
  it’s	
  
tacky	
  
no	
  john	
  bby	
  don’t	
  listen	
  to	
  the	
  
lies	
  rn	
  remember	
  the	
  three	
  Ss	
  
sherlock	
  is	
  full	
  of	
  shit	
  
NO	
  CAPES	
  
john	
  your	
  friend	
  FELL	
  from	
  a	
  
ROOF	
  and	
  you	
  get	
  run	
  over	
  
with	
  a	
  bike	
  and	
  start	
  being	
  
all	
  overdrama4c	
  
is	
  he	
  going	
  to	
  talk	
  to	
  the	
  
fucking	
  tombstone?	
  he’s	
  
going	
  to	
  talk	
  to	
  the	
  fucking	
  
tombstone	
  isn’t	
  he.	
  tell	
  me	
  
he	
  isn’t	
  going	
  to	
  talk	
  to	
  the	
  
fucking	
  tombstone	
  
he’s	
  talking	
  to	
  the	
  fucking	
  
tombstone	
  
even	
  his	
  tombstone	
  is	
  sexy	
  
ok	
  no	
  
where	
  was	
  he	
  this	
  whole	
  4me	
  	
  
was	
  he	
  on	
  the	
  mothership	
  
shut	
  the	
  fuck	
  up	
  he	
  does	
  not	
  
look	
  like	
  an	
  alien	
  
he’s	
  bringing	
  sexy	
  bach	
  

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Friend watches sherlock for the first time

  • 1. my  friend  watches  sherlock  for  the   first  4me  (the  reichenbach  fall)   i  will  be  blue   my  friend  will  be  red  
  • 2. is  that  benadryl   cabbagepatch     tbh  i  think  he  looks  like  an   alien       i  think  the  kid  is  more   a;rac4ve   i  don’t  see  it  
  • 3. DUCK  FACE   did  he  just  say  “do  you  want   a  cuppa  mate?”  ok  we  get  it   you’re  bri4sh   what’s  with  the  scarf  
  • 4. OMG  SPILLING  TEA   REALLY  DO  THEY  REALLY   NEED  TO  KEEP   REMINDING  US  THAT   THEY’RE  BRITISH   shh  it’s  funny   why  is  he  puVng  gum  on   the  glass  with  his  spit  he’ll   get  caught   he  wants  to  get  caught   why  the  fuck  
  • 5. imma  bad  bitch  imma   imma  bad  bitch   omg  sherlock  i’m  such  a   big  fan  sign  my  boob   pls  
  • 6. ok  i  can  kind  of  see  why   you  would  think  he  is   a;ract-­‐  oH  MY  GOD   welcome  friend   he’s  talking  about   congressional  legislature  and   it’s  turning  me  on  
  • 7. is  that  microsoX   oh  my  god  
  • 8. oh  yes  we  have   boarding  schools   because  we  are  bri4sh   boys  are  blue  and  girls   are  pink  because  we   must  enforce  gender   roles  to  children   you’ve  been  looking  at  social  jus4ce  stuff   again  haven’t  you   i  am  in  a  rage  
  • 9. why  so  many  ques4on   marks  are  you  a   seventh  grade  girl  on   msn   the  three  Ss  of  being  sherlock:   Sexy,  Smart  and  full  of  Shit    
  • 10. sherlock  i  spent  a  lot  of  money  on  this  green  screen  u  be;er   listen  to  me  
  • 11. omg  they  are  handcuffed   together  and  sherlock  just   yelled  get  on  your  knees   he  can  handcuff  me  and  yell   that  to  me   go  to  your  right  john  oh   yeah  that’s  it  that’s  the   spot  john  oh  yeah  
  • 12. gAAAAYYYYYYYYY     it’s  ok  they  said  no   homo   i  never  heard  them  say  no   homo   well  then   double  decker  bus  WE  ARE   BRITISH  take  a  shot  
  • 13. what  did  she  just   say  she  can  breed   him  what   no  read  him  you   dumbass   omg  isn’t  that  sexy   you  like  watching  sherlock   play  with  his  balls?  
  • 14. that  face  you  make  when   the  boy  you  like  texts  you   back   when  he  wants  the   nudes  
  • 16. are  they  going  to  have  a   dance  off   he’s  talking  about  how   disappointed  he  is             he  sounds  like  my   parents   only  bri4sh  people  say   “sissy”  DRINK  
  • 17. that’s  sexy   he’s  about  to  kill   someone   i  don’t  care   ughhh  did  i  men4on  i  have  a   thing  for  dress  shoes   ok  calm  down          
  • 18. i  am  not  like  my  brother  microsoX    (i  am  big  and  hard)  
  • 19. they  look  like  they’re   about  to  kiss     oh  honey  you  have  no   idea   yes  invite  the  big  scary  man  with   the  ta;oos  inside  of  your  house   don’t  stereotype   he’s  literally  about  to  kill  her   shut  the  fuck  up  
  • 20. ooh  the  heavy   breathing   SHOOOOOOEEEEESSSS   no  
  • 21. w_  are  you  breaking  up   with  me   or  is  it  one  of  those  really   cool  proposal  things  where   you  pretend  to  kill  yourself   and  then  land  on  a   trampoline  that  spells  out   marry  me     not  that  i’ve  fantasized   about  that  or  anything   sherlock  please  don’t  do   this  over  the  phone  it’s   tacky  
  • 22. no  john  bby  don’t  listen  to  the   lies  rn  remember  the  three  Ss   sherlock  is  full  of  shit   NO  CAPES  
  • 23. john  your  friend  FELL  from  a   ROOF  and  you  get  run  over   with  a  bike  and  start  being   all  overdrama4c  
  • 24. is  he  going  to  talk  to  the   fucking  tombstone?  he’s   going  to  talk  to  the  fucking   tombstone  isn’t  he.  tell  me   he  isn’t  going  to  talk  to  the   fucking  tombstone   he’s  talking  to  the  fucking   tombstone  
  • 25. even  his  tombstone  is  sexy   ok  no  
  • 26. where  was  he  this  whole  4me     was  he  on  the  mothership   shut  the  fuck  up  he  does  not   look  like  an  alien   he’s  bringing  sexy  bach