X3 pure men's chapt 3a

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X3 pure men's chapt 3a

  1. 1. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series
  2. 2. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series • Review
  3. 3. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series • Review - Sexual addiction
  4. 4. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series • Review - Sexual addiction - What sexual addiction means
  5. 5. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series • Review - Sexual addiction - What sexual addiction means - Accepted, I assume, that we have Unwanted Sexual Behavior
  6. 6. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series • Review - Sexual addiction - What sexual addiction means - Accepted, I assume, that we have Unwanted Sexual Behavior - Introduced our Sexual Sobriety Map
  7. 7. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series • Review - Sexual addiction - What sexual addiction means - Accepted, I assume, that we have Unwanted Sexual Behavior - Introduced our Sexual Sobriety Map - And just started touching on the concept of change
  8. 8. Session 3: What is Change?
  9. 9. Session 3: What is Change? • Two Types of Change
  10. 10. Session 3: What is Change? • Two Types of Change - White Knuckle Change
  11. 11. Session 3: What is Change? • Two Types of Change - White Knuckle Change - Real Change
  12. 12. White Knuckle Change
  13. 13. White Knuckle Change • The change in behavior without addressing the system, or environment, that is causing the behavior.
  14. 14. White Knuckle Change • The change in behavior without addressing the system, or environment, that is causing the behavior. • Change in sexual activities without change in the system, or environment can lead to relapse.
  15. 15. White Knuckle Change • The change in behavior without addressing the system, or environment, that is causing the behavior. • Change in sexual activities without change in the system, or environment can lead to relapse. - Relapse is when you have tried to abstain (or stop) from using a substance of abuse but have returned to using it again and again.
  16. 16. Example
  17. 17. Example • The identified cause of this man’s desire to use pornography was stress.
  18. 18. Example • The identified cause of this man’s desire to use pornography was stress. • Stress from?
  19. 19. Example • The identified cause of this man’s desire to use pornography was stress. • Stress from? - His current job?
  20. 20. Example • The identified cause of this man’s desire to use pornography was stress. • Stress from? - His current job? - His vocation over all?
  21. 21. Example • The identified cause of this man’s desire to use pornography was stress. • Stress from? - His current job? - His vocation over all? - His societal expectations?
  22. 22. Example • The identified cause of this man’s desire to use pornography was stress. • Stress from? - His current job? - His vocation over all? - His societal expectations? - His family-of-origin expectation?
  23. 23. Example • The identified cause of this man’s desire to use pornography was stress. • Stress from? - His current job? - His vocation over all? - His societal expectations? - His family-of-origin expectation? - His personal expectations?
  24. 24. Real Change
  25. 25. Real Change • Real Change is about:
  26. 26. Real Change • Real Change is about: - Understanding what is going on in our brains when we engage in Unwanted Sexual Behavior.
  27. 27. Real Change
  28. 28. Real Change • Real Change is about making a decision to abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not because we want to please anyone, but because we want to…
  29. 29. Real Change • Real Change is about making a decision to abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not because we want to please anyone, but because we want to… - Heal your brains.
  30. 30. Real Change • Real Change is about making a decision to abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not because we want to please anyone, but because we want to… - Heal your brains. - Engage in life-giving activities.
  31. 31. Real Change • Real Change is about making a decision to abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not because we want to please anyone, but because we want to… - Heal your brains. - Engage in life-giving activities. - Discover that wonderful person who is hidden inside of all of us that we maybe didn’t even know existed.
  32. 32. Real Change • Real Change is about making a decision to abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not because we want to please anyone, but because we want to… - Heal your brains. - Engage in life-giving activities. - Discover that wonderful person who is hidden inside of all of us that we maybe didn’t even know existed. - Become servants of God.
  33. 33. Real Change • Real Change is about making a decision to abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not because we want to please anyone, but because we want to… - Heal your brains. - Engage in life-giving activities. - Discover that wonderful person who is hidden inside of all of us that we maybe didn’t even know existed. - Become servants of God. - And know God on a more intimate, amazing level than we ever before dreamed.
  34. 34. Real Change
  35. 35. Real Change • Real Change is about putting sobriety first in your life in order to let that decision shape the course of other decisions.
  36. 36. Example
  37. 37. Example • This man made a decision to remain on the Real Change side of our map, which means that he chose to remain sober no matter the circumstances.
  38. 38. Example • This man made a decision to remain on the Real Change side of our map, which means that he chose to remain sober no matter the circumstances. - When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would take time off from work to exercise.
  39. 39. Example • This man made a decision to remain on the Real Change side of our map, which means that he chose to remain sober no matter the circumstances. - When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would take time off from work to exercise. - When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would call a friend to get support.
  40. 40. Example • This man made a decision to remain on the Real Change side of our map, which means that he chose to remain sober no matter the circumstances. - When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would take time off from work to exercise. - When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would call a friend to get support. - When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he thought long and hard about whether or not he truly liked his job enough to remain in that position.
  41. 41. Real Change
  42. 42. Real Change • Your addiction, your Unwanted Sexual Behavior, is not simply a “bad habit.” It is God’s way of telling you that something is not quite right with the way you live, and the way relationships in it, are arranged. If you do not seek to deal with what is “not quite right,” either by continuing to use your Unwanted Sexual Behavior or White-Knuckling your change, you will be plugging your ears to God’s voice in your life.
  43. 43. Assignment
  44. 44. Assignment • Reflect on this lesson
  45. 45. Assignment • Reflect on this lesson • Pray

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