WhatsRightWithYou
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WhatsRightWithYou

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We live in a world pervaded by the unspoken attitude that we are all basically flawed, broken, incomplete, scarred or sick: we’re labeled as dysfunctional, codependent, depressed, you name it. ...

We live in a world pervaded by the unspoken attitude that we are all basically flawed, broken, incomplete, scarred or sick: we’re labeled as dysfunctional, codependent, depressed, you name it. Contrary to popular perception and drug company ad campaigns, fifty years of research shows that positive change does not primarily emerge from examining the disorders, diseases, or dysfunctions—all the stuff that’s wrong with us—that allegedly plague the masses. Change, in truth, comes from what’s right with the people attempting it—their strengths, resources, ideas, and relational support—not the labels they are branded with, the special expertise of doctors or the magic methods or potions they peddle.

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WhatsRightWithYou WhatsRightWithYou Document Transcript

  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com What’s Right With You Recruiting Resources and Restoring Hope Barry Duncan, Psy.D. www.heartandsoulofchange.com www.heartandsoulofchange.com 954.721.2981 www.whatsrighwithyou.com barrylduncan@comcast.net 1
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Change…  I have seen people triumph over adversity and turn tragedy into the dogged pursuit of a better life.  No super powers; no magic potions. No pilgrimages to receive wisdom from the masters  They possessed nothing that you do not already have. They found the reservoir of their own resources and strengths, and emerged with all they needed to resolve the challenge before them. They discovered what was right with them. And so can you. 2
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com There Is Something Wrong With Us This is not, however, the message that we most often get 24/7 bombardment that we are not resourceful or heroic, but rather that we are sick and getting sicker—the focus is on what’s wrong with us The History of Mental Health •The quintessential question: •What’s Wrong With You?! And the key… 3
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Educate the People: You Are Sick  Now "free mental health check ups” like National Depression Day or National Anxiety Day.  Largely funded by drug companies and sponsored by MH prof. org—should be telling.  Cultivated a curious change. Makes people believe that they are broken, incomplete, scarred, or sick; people become the Killer Ds The Killer D’s Dysfunction Disorder Disability Disease Deficit Damaged None ever related to outcome 4
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Mental Health Screening Test 1. Lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. If your foot changes direction, you need drugs or therapy or both. Mental Health Screening Test 2 If you don’t see two porpoises, then see a MH professional, take drugs or both 5
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Bottom Line Approaching problems with the assumption that we are broken, incomplete, scarred, or sick predisposes us to failure, making invisible our own natural propensities for growth and recovery. In truth, change is inevitable and decidedly human, and primarily comes through the mobilization of one's strengths and abilities. Six Steps to C*H*A*N*G*E C: Challenge the Killer Ds: Debunk Dysfunction and Change Your Life H: Honor Your Heroic Self: Validate Your Struggles and Your Strengths A: Add a Helper: Recruit a Change Partner N: Never Underestimate Your Own Ideas: Value Your View of Change G: Give Yourself a Chance: Do Something—Implement a Plan E: Empower Yourself: Monitor, Adjust, and Celebrate 6
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com The Wheel of Change: Factors Accounting for Successful Outcome 40.0% Youth and Familes’ Resources & Resiliencies Your Relationships Your Approach to Change 30.0% 15.0% Hope/Expectancy 15.0% Think of Change as Your Favorite Pie  40% of how change happens is about you. You are the filling. The main ingredient is the filling.  Eating a pie w/o filling is like trying to change without your involvement, resources, and ideas.  Change is about rallying Your Strengths, Resources these inherent strengths, and Resiliencies what’s right with you, to 40% defeat problems. 7
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Your Relationships The Crust Relational support, 30% of change, is the crust or container for the filling. A supportive relationship holds you comfortably while your resources take center stage. The crust allows the filling to be appreciated. Therapy provides a support for change, but so can others. Your Relationships 30% Your Hopes and Expectations  The pie's mouthwatering visual presentation, enticing aroma, and aroused hopes for culinary delight illustrate expectancy— contributing 15%. Change tantalizes you with a delicious future, a helping of hope.  Key here is a plan that resonates 15% with your own ideas and fits your views about how you can change.  Hope is ALWAYS there for youth 8
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com “Youth are like rivers: You can’t step in the same river twice.” •Youth change with changes in context •Youth change as they develop •Youth identities are impressionable and mutable Your Approach to Change You Involvement Is Key The actual approach is the meringue. Enhances appearance & embellishes taste, cannot stand on own W/O the rest of pie to give it substance, meringue is nothing but fluff. Approach provides means to an end, but is useless w/o you. Nothing but fluff if it does not deliver Your Approach results.…over 400 models and To Change—15% Change— techniques 9
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com •Since the 60’s, the # of models has grown from 60 to over 400, multiplying like… •Each claims superiority in conceptualization and outcome But the truth is that no one approach, either med or therapy is reliably better than any other… The Implication: Your resources transcend any approach used The Secret Is Out Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, you have always had the power to get back to Kansas. Research shows that change does not come about from the special powers or authority of any particular helper or model. Change principally results from empowering your preexisting abilities and restoring hope. 10
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com The Wizard of Oz L. Frank Baum's wonderful story about life and the resolution of human problems. The familiar tale involves four characters who perceive something missing in their lives. Each believes that a wizard is necessary to help them find completeness. And… The Wizard The Wizard, the expert faced with overwhelming problems did what many helpers do. He prescribed a protracted journey (a technique or medication) for them to acquire something he thought they needed. So focused on seizing the broomstick that they did not see how wise and heroically they acted in accomplishing the task…When they return… 11
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com The Humbug After his embarrassing exposure, the Humbug cleverly addresses the requests of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion, granting each something tangible. They are pleased to receive validation of their experiences and desires for completeness. But as the old America song goes, “Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man, that he didn’t, didn’t already have.” But Dorothy… Dorothy Always Had the Power Dorothy had to find her own meaning about her perilous quest to Oz, her journey of change, and rely on her own resources to return home, to reach her goal. And you always walk into tough spots with (or even on in Dorothy’s case) all you need to prevail over adversity... 12
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com You Are the Lion of Change Until lions have their historians, tales of hunting will always glorify the hunter. African Proverb H—Honor Your Heroic Self: Validate Your Strengths  Making changes in your life requires an appreciation of your strengths, the more heroic aspects of who you are— growth is achieved by marshalling your inherent resources against the obstacles before you. 13
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Telling Heroic Stories  Many different stories…taught to focus on only one story as if it is the best explanation…Kim  What are the obvious and hidden strengths, resources, resiliencies, and competences contained in my story?  What are the competing stories that can be told—the stories of clarity, coping, endurance, and desire that exist simultaneously with the stories of Your Heroic Self confusion, pain, suffering, and desperation? Telling Heroic Stories…Imagine  Think of a time in your life that was very difficult, but you managed to get through it.  What personal resources did you draw on to get through this difficulty?  What family, spiritual, friend, or community support did you draw on to get through?  What does this story tell you about who you are and what you can do?  Who else knows this story about you?  What do you think they say this story says about who you are and what you are capable of?  Who wouldn’t be surprised that you stood up to this problem and prevailed? Yolanda 14
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com A—Add a Helper: Recruit a Change Partner  Relationships are the essence of humanity; we are social creatures who thrive in connection with others.  A supportive and caring relationship sustains us in tough times and encourages us to bring out our best. While it is possible to be the “Lone Changer,” it is a lot easier to have a faithful companion in our ride into the sunset of transformation. Bottom Line  Good relationships mobilize people’s inherent resources and resiliencies. Don’t underestimate the power for change that resides in your relationships. Human relationships are there for a reason. People need people. 15
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com The Relationship: Over 1000 Research Findings  Quality of the alliance more potent predictor of outcome than orientation, experience, or professional discipline.  Client perception of the alliance a better predictor than therapist’s.  Same for youth and family therapy Research into Practice The Alliance •Increasingly, the relationship is viewed as merely “setting the stage” for the “real” treatment: •Confronting distorted thoughts; •Recovering forgotten memories; •Asking special questions; •Tapping on or waving fingers in front of the face…but the data say: •The alliance deserves far more RESPECT… Duncan, B. (2010). On becoming a better therapist. Washington, DC: APA. 16
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Validation  Validation: “No wonder I feel this way given a, b, and c,” or “No wonder I did that given a, b, and c.”  We are admonished to “take responsibility” and “don’t make excuses.” Validating your experience does not diminish your contribution to the problem nor provide an easy excuse.  Rather, validation strives for a broader understanding of your circumstances that focuses on the absolute validity of your feelings and the positive intent of your behavior. On the Flip Side Invalidation  Demoralizes and inserts self-doubt and self- loathing—obstacles to change.  Most have learned two invalidating messages:  Ones that contradict or dismiss client feelings;  Ones that blame clients for life’s pitfalls. 17
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Invalidation Blaming  Singles you out as the source of the conundrum— Consider Carrie…  Highlights shortcomings as the best explanation.  A continual pelting of blame culminates in self loathing. Taking responsibility allows action, blaming keeps things stuck. N—Never Underestimate Your Own Ideas: Value Your View of Change  The resonance of your ideas with any change plan is critically important.  A major reason for unsuccessful therapy, regardless of the severity or duration of the problem was because the client’s own ideas were ignored… 18
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Valuing Your View of Change  Most of us have been persuaded to discount our own views, insights, and wisdom and, instead, defer to the experts. The doctor knows best… or does she?  Many roads lead to Rome—as many paths as there are people.  You have untapped wisdom about what it will take to transform your life. When enlisted, or when methods fit these core beliefs, more likely for change to occur Learning Your Theory: Three Ways  Learn your theory in three ways:  What are your ideas about change?  What are your usual methods of change?  What have you tried so far to solve this problem?  Molly Explains It All 19
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Your Map of the Change Territory  So rather than changing your own ideas to fit what is offered to you, elevate your perceptions above all others and allow your own view of change to direct your choices. G—Give Yourself a Chance: Do Something—Implement a Plan  The key is to do something different about the problem  Many possibilities…always know that there is something else you can do! 20
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Do Something  Doing anything rallies your resources and creates an opportunity for good things to happen. Any approach is like a magnifying glass on sunny day—it brings together, focuses, and concentrates your strengths, resources, and ideas, narrows them to a point in space and time, and ignites into action E—Empower Yourself: Monitor, Adjust, and Celebrate  You are the engine of change. If you are going to arrive at your destination, you have to know if the engine is on the right track.  If you are not on the right track—the change you desire is not happening—then it is time to consider switching tracks. 21
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com The Proof of the Pudding Is in the Eating  In the late 1970s, the makers of Alka Seltzer surprised everybody by firing the co. that created the slogan, “I can't believe I ate the whole thing.”  A shock since the clever commercials had so quickly become part of the national vernacular.  Alka Seltzer had one fundamental problem with the commercials—they didn't sell more Alka Seltzer. The Proof  Adopt the same attitude as the makers of Alka Seltzer.  No matter how clever, if your change plan isn’t producing results, it’s time to fire that plan.  Contrary to popular belief, studies show that change, if it is going to occur, usually happens early on after implementation of a strategy or method. 22
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Bottom Line Monitoring your progress is essential and dramatically improves your chances of success. You don’t really need to have the perfect approach as much as you need to know whether your plan is working—and if it is not, how to quickly adjust your strategy to maximize the possibility of your improvement Confused? Don’t Worry—It’s Easy  You can do this on your own or with a peer or with a professional  Easy as 123.  Acknowledge, Compare, & Change. 23
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Acknowledge Where You Are Now  Looking at a map at the mall and finding the “you are here” spot. This must happen first, before you identify where you are going or how to get there.  Allows you to validate where you have been and reflect about where you are going.  Provides a point of comparison to know whether you are progressing in your change efforts. Making the Numbers Count •25 is the dividing line 40 between folks seeking 35 services from those who are O u tc o m e S c o r e 30 25 not 20 •Simply a benchmark that 15 10 helps you become aware of 5 how you are doing and where 0 you might consider making 1st 2nd 3rd 4th changes. Session Number •Average score of persons Actual Score Cutoff 25th % 75th % seeking therapy is about 19. 24
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com If With A Professional…  It finally puts your voice center stage  Allows services to be youth and family driven  Brings you into the inner circle of care and decisions  Partners in monitoring the benefit and fit of services Compare & Change Change X X X X 25
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com The Death of George Washington In December 1799, our first president develops a minor sore throat. By morning the next day, he is dead. Reference: Flexner, J.T. (1974). Washington: The Indispensable Man. New York: Little, Brown and Company. Lessons of George Washington  The very same forces…continue to guide not only therapy, but also many attempts at self change.  People get hung up on the apparent rightness of the solution instead of its success. As Washington illustrates, the “rightness” of a method is no guarantee.  Having no way to monitor benefit may encourage you to continue what is not working until, as in the case of George, drain the life right out of you. 26
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com So When There Is No Change Don’t Keep Running on Empty!  Driving into a vast desert running on empty, when a sign appears “last chance for gas.”  Depicts the necessity of stopping and discussing the implications of continuing without change. Stop! And Think It Over…  Brainstorm what should be done next  Different approach, different venue of service, involve others in support system, change provider, etc…or steady as she goes 27
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Your Feedback and Outcome It Just Plain Works Better  22% at-risk clients improved compared with 33% for feedback to therapists, 39% for feedback to therapists & clients, & 45% when supplemented with support tools  A strong case for routine measurement of benefit in everyday life and therapy Closing Thoughts  You are the superstar!  Youth and Family Resources, Resiliencies, Ideas, and Relational Support Network  The Restoration of Hope Is Key  Your View of Benefit and the Fit of Services 28
  • www.heartandsoulofchange.com Closing Thoughts  When I was a young man  So I talked with my Dad  Usual pep talk and Mrs. Hickman  If you can do that…  You can be anything you can dream of  And he was right  And so can you… 29