DLD10: The Real Time Web And Satire/Comedy

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  • 1. Baratunde Thurston The Real Time Web & Satire/Comedy web editor @TheOnion
  • 2. o Tu stultus es.
  • 3. history
  • 4. T. Herman Zweibel Editor-in-Chief, 1896 - 2001
  • 5. NEWS o the ONION ® # VOLUME 37 ISSUE 01 AMERICA’S FINEST NEWS SOURCE ™ 18–24 JANUARY 2001 Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Chinese Guy Still Insisting It Was Him Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’ WASHINGTON, DC—Mere days from In Front Of That Tank assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, presi- see WORLD page 4A dent-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that “our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over.” “My fellow Americans,” Bush said, “at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprece- dented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace see BUSH page 8 Denny’s Introduces ‘Just A Corpse-Reanimation Humongous Bucket Of Technology Still 10 Eggs And Meat’ Years Off, Say MIT see FOOD page 3C Mad Scientists Date With Proctologist Above: President-elect Bush vows that “together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us.” CAMBRIDGE, MA—Dead-tissue reani- Ends Predictably mation, projected in the 1980s to be standard medical practice by 2001, STATshot see LOCAL page 10D Rural Nebraskan Not Sure He Could won’t be possible for at least another decade, scientists at the Massachu- A look at the numbers that shape your world. Handle Frantic Pace Of Omaha setts Institute of Technology’s Mad Science Research NORTH PLATTE, NE—Lifelong Center announced North Platte resident Fred Linder, 46, Monday. revealed Monday that he doesn’t think “They laughed he could cope with the fast-paced hustle when we said we and bustle of Omaha, the Cornhusker would rekindle the State’s largest city. divine spark of life “Oh, sure, I bet it’d be exciting at first, in flesh grown cold and lifeless,” said MIT going to see 9 p.m. showings of movies, mad scientist Dr. Otto Von Verruchtheit, shopping at those big department the nation’s leading corpse-reanimation stores, and maybe even eating at one of expert, speaking from the castle that hous- those fancy restaurants that doesn’t use es the MSRC’s state-of-the-art corpse- Politics iceberg lettuce in their salads,” Linder said.“But I just don’t think I could put up with all that hub-bub for more than a Above: North Platte resident Fred Linder. reanimation laboratory. “Oh, how they laughed! They said we were mad to attempt such an unholy ambition by the
  • 6. real(er)-time
  • 7. election day 2008
  • 8. election day 2008 • #votereport #wait:60 #evny long lines on 5th ave and 4th st in Park Slope but moving steadily • Christopher Nathans, 18, cast an informed vote for president and half a dozen ignorant votes for mayor, governor, county sheriff, and some ballot initiative about term limits or banks or something #votereport
  • 9. election 2008
  • 10. The Oscars 2009
  • 11. The Oscars 2009 • Helvetica Bold Oblique Sweeps Fontys http:// bit.ly/oIysn #oscars • Area Man Honored To Be One Who Added Death Date To Heath Ledger's Wikipedia Page http://bit.ly/UwaBd #oscars • Film star Charlton Heston passed away in April at age 84. He is survived by five guns, 14 grand guns, and 11 great-grand guns. #oscars
  • 12. Lou Dobbs Quits
  • 13. Lou Dobbs Quits
  • 14. twitcom an improvised situation comedy on twitter
  • 15. twitcom an improvised situation comedy on twitter, starring: } • @JaimeKilstein • @AllisonKilkenny • @Dianasaurus • @JamesUrbaniak • @ElonJames • @JohnDevore • @SaraJBenincasa @baratunde/twitcom
  • 16. ende @baratunde @theonion