What Does Neuroscience Have to Do with Conflict Transformation?

What does Neuroscience Have to Do with Conflict Transformation? Cutting Edge Insights and Applications for Workplace Mediators (“little m” and “ Big M”) Louise Phipps Senft, Esq. Founder, CEO Louise Phipps Senft & Associates/Baltimore Mediation

Understanding Conflict Think about a conflict with someone in your life (at work or at home) in which you were involved or which you observed. What was it that was most difficult or most disturbing? What relieved this? What was (or would have been) helpful?

Theories of ConflictWhat is Conflict? Power Rights Needs and interests Crisis in human interaction

TransformativeConflict Theory Conflict is a crisis in human interaction, and People sometimes need help in overcoming this crisis and restoring constructive interaction.

The Experience of Conflict Relative Weakness (confusion, fear, disorganization, vulnerability, powerlessness, uncertainty, indecisiveness) Relative self-absorption (self- protection, defensiveness, suspicion, hostility, closed-mindedness)

The Negative Conflict Cycle Negative dynamics feed a vicious cycle, and Interaction between the parent and child degenerates--becoming destructive, alienating, and dehumanizing.

“Shifts Happen” Despite negative consequences of conflict, families have the ability to rebound while conflict unfolds: Empowerment  personal strength or self-confidence Recognition  openness or responsiveness to the other.

The Empowerment Shift Weakness to Strength  Unsettled to… Calmer  Confused to… Clearer  Fearful to… More confident  Disorganized to… More focused  Unsure to… More decisive

The Recognition Shift Self-absorbed to Responsive  Self-protective to… more attentive  Defensive to… more open  Suspicious to… more trusting  Limited in perspective to … more able to see other’s viewpoint.

Changing Conflict Interaction

The Relational World ViewSees human beings as . .  Social and connected  Moral impulse toward balancing strength of self and compassion towards others  Capacities  Valuing the quality of interaction with others

What happens when conflict intensifies? Many facets to workplace stress (not just emotional) Conflict spills beyond the 2 workers Fight-Flight-Freeze Brain Research

Our Nervous System & Triune Brain brain has three parts: Rational / cerebral-cortex Emotional / limbic Instinctual brain / brain stem

Brain Fundamentals 250,000 neuro impulses per second Weighs 2% of body weight Consumes 20% of glucose and oxygen of body 20% of brain is used, sleeping, daydreaming or awake The entirety of the brain is not activated all the time

Brain Fundamentals Brain is highly efficient Chunking: patterns, scripts, predictions 70% of all decision making is filtered through the limbic first Emotions and the amygdala can and will override the rest of the brain Examples with co-workers

Pre-frontal: ExecutiveFunctioning We can’t do two things at the same time… Actually, we can do two, but only if one does not require executive function Consider this for ourselves (and our children and teenagers!)…

Brain Hemispheres Left brain: processes what is actually said Right brain: processes the meaning of what was said

When conflict intensifies,…..  We are affected physiologically, and this includes our ability to do integrated, rational, whole-brain thinking.  When our pulse raises as few as 10 beats above our usual baseline, the rational part of our brain begins slipping out of gear. We then begin talking, acting, and reacting from the lower part of our brain where our automatic survival instincts are located, ie, flight-fight- freeze.

A Transformative Approach They understand the experience of conflict and how it destabilizes They believe in the capacity of themselves and their co-workers/subordinates to re-stabilize They have the skills to provide a process that fosters understanding and discernment while giving and receiving information for quality decision-making

Managers and Mediators Taking aTransformative Approach Focus on the interactions as the most important aspect Highlight opportunities for perspective taking Highlight opportunities for decision- making in both process and outcome

And Understand theNeuroscience of the ConflictExperience! 70% of all decision-making is filtered through the limbic brain Only 20% of the brain is operational, yet it takes in all kinds of information it doesn’t process fully Brain processes 11 Billion bits of information per second We are only aware of 5% of the stimuli our brains take in

And Understand theNeuroscience of the ConflictExperience! When in conflict, oxygen is cut off to the pre-frontal cortex The brain needs glucose to function properly The brain needs emotional connection for anything to stick

Information received by theBrain 95% of all thought remains unconscious in the limbic system It takes a fraction of a second for the brain to engage the limbic or the hippacampus where memory is stored It takes the brain 3 x longer to engage the pre-frontal where rational thought takes place

Reactions The gut and emotional responses are quicker than the thought process We need methods for slowing the reaction time so that oxygen can get to the pre-frontal cortex

Quiz “A bat and a ball cost $1.10 in total, the bat cost a dollar more than the ball, how much does the ball cost?”

Patterns 5 cents But our brains searched for the quick pattern. We are always competing against the heuristics of the brain, the shortcuts

How to Practice from aTransformative Approach in YourMediating Invite your clients to have a “conversation” with you/with each other Set a time and a place to speak to each other, not too long, after eating Create Guidelines for your conversation; help the parties create guidelines Breathe

How to Practice from aTransformative Approach in YourMediation Invite and allow the parties to speak fully, freely and easily without your editing, cutting in, advising, reacting Listen carefully to what each says Reflect back in his or her own words what was said (oxygen to the brain, E & R for both, mirror neurons) Repeat until they are speaking freely and easily

How to Practice from aTransformative Approach in YourMediation Ask open ended questions “Is there anything else you want the other person to know?” “Is there anything else you need to tell him/her” “What are you asking the other person to do or consider?”

Emotions To appreciate an emotion, we have to immitate it When we mask our emotions, we don’t actually feel them/experience them fully Leads to greater emotional hijacking Mirror Neurons: the Science of empathy and how we connect with others

How to Create Buy-in To create buy-in on any agreement, we need to re-construct positive memory for the parties There must be meaning for the brain before it is interested in changing Meaning for the brain must be emotional Logic and reasoning are the least effective techniques for convincing someone of anything (Dan Ariely)

Create Meaning Help the parties re-create a situation where they can concretely imagine an emotional experience if they did or did not do something (what would be pleasing, scary and what they might do, or what the consequences might be: getting written up, making other co-workers uncomfortable, not being liked, set a rotten example for others, get suspended), lose respect of other staff

Sustainable Agreements Remember that Agreements are not the Mediator’s goal (new ethics, 2005) And, agreements may not be the parties’ goals! If agreement, ask them why they’d agree to that term, help them find emotional meaning

Environment Tips Anchoring, priming, positive setting Make sure there is food to get the glucose to the brain (for you too)! Keep to your promises: neutral, confidential, help with a conversation) (You promised a conversation, not an evaluation)

Transformative Research inAgreements Parties report high rates of satisfaction when (1) they were able to talk about issues they felt were important; (2) they had an opportunity to speak fully; & (3) they felt understood by the other party Research shows that these reasons relate to how the process worked rather than the outcome it produced.

Overview: How-To Skills for aTransformative Mediator Self-Awareness, Calm, Breathwork Listening without Directive Tendencies Reflecting exactly what he/she said Asking Open-ing Questions Summarizing Re-creating meaning

Why Embrace a TransformativeApproach for your Mediating? You and the parties will have a more satisfying experience. It can preserve and strengthen existing relationships, in addition to solving disputes and facilitating resolutions. It can change your own views and outlooks about people, conflict and capacity. It is supported by the latest findings in neuroscience.

Closing: Be a “little m” mediator in your workplace. It changes one’s view of the world, over time. Be an ambassador for other co- workers, coaching them to have a conversation, and consider mediation for yourself. Be inspired!

Contact Information:Louise Phipps Senft, Esq.Phone: 443-524-0833Email: louise@baltimoremediation.comWeb: www.BaltimoreMediation.com

What Does Neuroscience Have to Do with Conflict Transformation?

by Baltimore Mediation on Jul 10, 2012

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What Does Neuroscience Have to Do with Conflict Transformation? Presentation Transcript