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Current SGP keynote, Still working. May 9th

Current SGP keynote, Still working. May 9th

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  • I did Mean Girls, Relational aggression and the way they they bully, and their methods. I wanted to do something with bullying, but because bullying was such a broad topic, I decided to pick one form to really study, so i chose relational aggression :)\n\n
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  • mention being kicked out of table in 8th grade.\n
  • Behavior that is intended to hurt someone by harming his or her relationships with others (Crick & Grotpeter, 1995)\n A form of aggression where the group is used as a weapon to assault others and others’ relationships.\n
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  • overt- done or shown openly, not secret or hidden\ncovert-not openly acknowledged or displayed\n
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  • RMG= really mean girl\nalways dressed nice, always want to look perfect every day at school. \n
  • The sidekcik\n
  • different, dominant, disruptive\n
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  • classic conflict- girl who goes out with her best friend’s boyfriend, either before or after the best friend and boyfriend have broken up.\n\nAsk who is to blame? and who’s side would you take?\n
  • go through all the roles of each character\nRegina George= aggressor\nGretchen Weiners and Karen are the girls in the middle\nAaron is the boy instigator. \nThe victims are the rest of the school that felt victimized by Regina George. \nWhen Katie becomes the new lead, regina is being bullied. All roles switch around.\n
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  • The Media makes it seem like every girl has to be perfect, and look like models. \n
  • This vicious circle never ends. If someone has any power whatsoever, they feel like they have control of another person, they feel so popular, and that makes them feel a little more secure about themselves, but then they still fear that it will not last long.\n
  • Formspring is the WORST website ever. The fact that it is anonymous is just so stupid. I found this on one friends formspring- “You are so obnoxious and fat, just seeing you in the hallway every day makes me want to puke!” This actually made me cry, not like its hard for me to cry, but reading this one friend’s formspring was so shocking to me. \n
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  • if educators and other responsible adults don’t call aggression bullying by their proper names, perpetrators live above the law and victims have no recourse. \n
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  • This is a great easy guide to get your feelings out to a friend that you are in a conflict. \n
  • This is the parent’s guide, but could also be used for solving conflicts with your friends.\n
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  • This is more of a teacher’s guide, but everyone can make a difference, and help change this problem.\n1. discuss alternatives: give girl the self esteem and confidence to give her strength to defuse an aggressor, support victim, etc.\n2. Reward Kindness: maybe pencils that say “I was caught being kind” \n3. prevent Rumination: help girls develop coping skills that do not involve others (listening to music, exercising, journal)\n4. Help her establish relationship boundaries: identify specific behaviors that are unhealthy. determine the crossing line, stick to her principles\n5. Use rituals of respect: earlier they are implemented, longer they remain\n\n\n
  • 6. Empower girls to problem solve: give encouragment to use their own creativity in problem solving and conflict resolution\n7. Help girls explore a new way of relating to peers: Figure out who you are, and whats important to you. “If girls can find healthy ways to explore and become comfortable with who they are, they will be free to have positive, supportive relationships with one another.”\n8. Reframe hurtful behaviors: Some girls are naturally capable of self confident behavior, while others can learn to react confidently through preparing, proccessing and practicing. Ask what might you do differently.\n9. Repeat, Repeat, repeat.: Moms aren’t enough. Have her hear the same words her dad, or bulletin board in the school.\n
  • It may be tempting to just agree with the aggressor, because you do not want to be next.\nIf someone tries to spread a rumor, inform them firmly that you know it’s untrue, and they should not repeat it to anyone else.\nLet her know you are on her side.\nAdults may consider bullying like this only to get someone else in trouble, if it is only from the victim, but if someone is there by her side to back her up, they may listen more closely.\n
  • Here’s another strategy, may be a bit easier!\n
  • The Ophelia project, started in Erie, PA is spreading across the country. They offer camps, workshops and many more to change the relationships between girls. One girl standing up for another makes a huge difference. They dont JUST work with young girls, they also work with ALL ages, \n
  • So i emailed out the link to my survey to many of my friends and students. This survey was completely anonymous, and of course, no one HAD to fill it out if they did not want to. Here are just some of the result summaries.\n
  • This was one of the first questions in my survey. Do you know what relational aggression is/means? 18 people said no, 69% I was shocked to see this.\n
  • 100 % of people said YES!\n
  • 96 % said yes, and 1 person said Not that I am aware of.\n
  • 92% said yes, 24 people, and only 2 people said no they have not. But I’m not only going to include the shockingly bad answers.... \n(next slide)\n
  • 73% said yes, 23% said no, and one person said that they had never witnessed bullying.\n
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  • The answer to this question, is what made me finally decide on what else I should do with my application, I was going to start a club, until I found out we already had one in our school! It is called Salvaging Sisterhood, and I went to one class, just to sit in and observe. I noticed their role playing, and how they were communicating with each other. I decided then to have a girls workshop, just like the ophelia project does, but just a much shortened version, all crammed in an hour.\n
  • here’s a picture of all of us together at the end!\n
  • 5 things you like about yourself- as they walked in, i gave them a piece of paper to write 5 thing you like about yourself because the first step to standing up to an aggressor is self confidence. Also trying to find out who your friends should be, you should figure out who you want yourself to be.\nWe defined relational aggression because a lot of people did not even know what it was, and how it was different than physical. The find someone who game was just to get to know everyone around the room, and also see that they have been through the same things you have, you are not alone.\nThe role playing was interesting. There will be a videos in the next slides. After each group acted their scene out, we had a discussion about what should have happened, and how to solve it better.\nThe communication and problem solving, we did trust walks. One person was blindfolded, and one person was the navigator, and they tried to walk around the room to find the candy. Most groups communicated well and understood each other.\nWe had a end discussion about the problems with girl bullying, cliques in our school, and about how they have handled bullying in their lives.\n\n
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  • Most people think that relational aggression is just a part of everyone’s lives, and everyone goes through it,, which is what i thought when starting this project, but NO it can be stopped and prevented, girls just need people that will listen to them. \n

Transcript

  • 1. MEAN GIRLSAllie Wanamaker
  • 2. ThesisVicious teen girls are on the rise andbecoming more hurtful creating more andmore targets. Everyone is affected, and thereare consequences for everyone involved. Tosolve the gossiping and rumor spreading, wecould encourage girls to respect each other.
  • 3. Personal Relevance• I have experienced bullying like most girls have.• I witness it every day in the cafeteria.
  • 4. What is relationalaggression?
  • 5. Common relational aggression gossip Humiliation exclusion Attacks on sexuality spreading rumors Alliance building exposing confidential information Claiming disloyalty or untrustworthiness lies and betrayal Making threats to physically Ignoring harm the other or other’s Teasing or hurtful comments possessions. about physical appearances Intimidation
  • 6. Statistics•girl bullying starts as early as preschool•25% of students say that an adult intervenes in bullying situations, while 71% of adults believe they always intervene•70% of girls have been mistreated by their friends.
  • 7. Girls vs. boys bullyingtypical view of bully:hugefootball player stealinglunch moneygirl world bully: skinny,pretty and perfectBoys tend to be morephysical while girls aresneaky and moreemotionally hurtful.
  • 8. RolesThe aggressor/ bully sidekickThe targeted victimGirls in the middlesometimes, boy instigator
  • 9. AggressorsAlso known as the “queenbees”, the RMGs, or the alphagirlsTypically walk into a room witha small entourage and tellother girls where to sit.Seem perfect, seem like theyhave a perfect life.
  • 10. The sidekick• She is second to the Queen Aggressor, supports her.• Later could become a victim
  • 11. The Victim Most- and least liked of group May be less likely “to go along, to get along” Three “Ds”
  • 12. Girls in the middleThe pivotal groupThey are the girls who might alternately be victimsor aggressors, often choosing to be bullies becausethey do not want to be next.They do not know the power that they have.
  • 13. Role of boys in Girl-Girl Conflict๏ Girls learn early on to value relationships with boys over relationships with girls.๏ classic conflict ๏ What’s wrong with this picture?
  • 14. Cultural ExpectationsGirls struggle with who they are and how ourculture would like them to beConflicting Messages Be sexy... but don’t be sexual Be beautiful... beauty is only skin deep
  • 15. Pervasive Themes Weight The Media Fear of TV Rejection Magazines Need for Movies perfection
  • 16. Motivation Fear PowerSecurity Control Popularity
  • 17. Old Vs. New OLD NEW Techno- Aggression‣ Gossip (cyber bullying) E-mail‣ Dirty Looks IMs‣ Notes Facebook Chat Rooms Formspring
  • 18. Cyber Bullying • Girls are twice as likely as boys to be victims of cyber bullying. • http://www.google.com/search?um=1&hl=en&safe=active&biw=957&bih=577&site
  • 19. TWO RULES#1- SILENCE ISACCPETANCE
  • 20. TWO RULES #2It’s NOT about teaching kids NOT to bully,It IS about teaching kids TO TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT
  • 21. Talking about the Conflict“I feel___ when you__ and Iwant ____”
  • 22. Resolution SkillsAdopt a win/win approach that respects all parties’needs.Turn problems into opportunities for creativesolutions and relationship buildingUse emapthy to listen, clarify, and signalunderstandingBe assertive; discuss the problem, not the person
  • 23. Resolution skills cont.Express emotions appropriatelyBe willing to work on the issue until it is resolved.Identify your issues and allow others to do the sameBrainstorm options; list as many as possibleTry to see the problem from other perspectives.
  • 24. Parent’s MODEL• Model• Observe• Don’t ignore• Emphasize telling is not tattling• Listen
  • 25. Change the RA way of Life1. discuss alternatives2. reward kindness3. Prevent rumination4. help her establish relationshipboundaries5. Use rituals of respect
  • 26. Change the RA way of Life6.Empower girls to problem- solve7 Help girls explore a new way of .relating to peers8. Reframe hurtful behaviors9. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
  • 27. Helping FriendsIf a friend becomes the target of RA, think if youwere in her shoes. Don’t participate in the gossiping! If someone tries to spread a rumor, inform them firmly it is not true! Let her know you are on her side Offer to go with her to adults
  • 28. http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iq6s
  • 29. The Ophelia Project
  • 30. APPLICATION part one online survey
  • 31. Do you know what Relational Aggression Is?
  • 32. Have you ever talkedabout a friend behind their back?
  • 33. Has a friend ever talked about youbehind your back?
  • 34. Have you ever intervened when you witnessed bullying of any kind?
  • 35. Formspring Accounts
  • 36. Do you feel that girl bullying isa big problem, and you wish to talk more about it?
  • 37. Applicatio n part 2girls workshop
  • 38. WORKSHOP1. 5 things you like about yourself2. Defining relational aggression3.Find someone who...4.Role Playing5. Communication and Problem solving- Trust walkactivity6. Conclusion- discussion
  • 39. Find someone who...
  • 40. Role Playing
  • 41. Trust Walk
  • 42. Class Activity role playing
  • 43. Research slidesMany.. with citations on the bottom. (Forinformation and images.)Aproximately 12-20 minutes
  • 44. Videos?imbed videos into your slides as needed.Will break up some of your information andspeaking.
  • 45. Application ComponentDescribe, in detail, your application componentMultiple slidesUSe pictures, videos, etc.Approximately 8-15 minutes
  • 46. Class ActivitySomething creative and funApproximately 5 minutes or more
  • 47. Works CitedWITHOUT ANNOTATIONS, just citations
  • 48. ConclusionWhat did you learn?
  • 49. Works Cited• Dellasega, Cheryl, and Charisse Nixon. Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003. Print.• "Who We Are." The Ophelia Project - Leading Resource On Relational Aggression. Web. 08 May 2011. <http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/who_we_are.htm>.• Elizabeth, Jane. "Girl bullies dont leave black eyes, just agony." 10 Apr. 2002. PDF file. http:// www.myeagles.org/CCHS/OtherPDFs/Counsel_girlbullies.pdf• "Relational Aggression." The Society For Safe and Caring Schools and  Communities. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Feb. 2011. <http://sacsc.ca/Relational%20Aggression%20tip%20sheet.pdf>.• Chen, Grace. "Female Bullies in Public Schools: The Rising Trend and School Reactions - Public School Review." Public School Review - Profiles of USA Public Schools. 18 Nov. 2010. Web. 21 Dec. 2010. <http://www.publicschoolreview.com/articles/59>.• Mean Girls—101½ Creative Strategies and Activities for Working with Relational Aggression, Kaye Randall, LISW-CP and Allyson A. Bowen, LISW-CP, Youthlight, Inc, ISBN# 978-1-59850-022-6• Queen Bees and Wannabes, Rosalind Wiseman, Random House,
  • 50. ConclusionMost people think that relational aggression is just a part of everyone’s lives andeveryone goes through