ThesisVicious teen girls are on the rise andbecoming more hurtful creating more andmore targets. Everyone is affected, and thereare consequences for everyone involved. Tosolve the gossiping and rumor spreading, wecould encourage girls to respect each other.
Personal Relevance• I have experienced bullying like most girls have.• I witness it every day in the cafeteria.
Common relational aggression gossip Humiliation exclusion Attacks on sexuality spreading rumors Alliance building exposing confidential information Claiming disloyalty or untrustworthiness lies and betrayal Making threats to physically Ignoring harm the other or other’s Teasing or hurtful comments possessions. about physical appearances Intimidation
Statistics•girl bullying starts as early as preschool•25% of students say that an adult intervenes in bullying situations, while 71% of adults believe they always intervene•70% of girls have been mistreated by their friends.
Girls vs. boys bullyingtypical view of bully:hugefootball player stealinglunch moneygirl world bully: skinny,pretty and perfectBoys tend to be morephysical while girls aresneaky and moreemotionally hurtful.
RolesThe aggressor/ bully sidekickThe targeted victimGirls in the middlesometimes, boy instigator
AggressorsAlso known as the “queenbees”, the RMGs, or the alphagirlsTypically walk into a room witha small entourage and tellother girls where to sit.Seem perfect, seem like theyhave a perfect life.
The sidekick• She is second to the Queen Aggressor, supports her.• Later could become a victim
The Victim Most- and least liked of group May be less likely “to go along, to get along” Three “Ds”
Girls in the middleThe pivotal groupThey are the girls who might alternately be victimsor aggressors, often choosing to be bullies becausethey do not want to be next.They do not know the power that they have.
Role of boys in Girl-Girl Conﬂict๏ Girls learn early on to value relationships with boys over relationships with girls.๏ classic conflict ๏ What’s wrong with this picture?
Cultural ExpectationsGirls struggle with who they are and how ourculture would like them to beConflicting Messages Be sexy... but don’t be sexual Be beautiful... beauty is only skin deep
Pervasive Themes Weight The Media Fear of TV Rejection Magazines Need for Movies perfection
Motivation Fear PowerSecurity Control Popularity
Old Vs. New OLD NEW Techno- Aggression‣ Gossip (cyber bullying) E-mail‣ Dirty Looks IMs‣ Notes Facebook Chat Rooms Formspring
Cyber Bullying • Girls are twice as likely as boys to be victims of cyber bullying. • http://www.google.com/search?um=1&hl=en&safe=active&biw=957&bih=577&site
TWO RULES #2It’s NOT about teaching kids NOT to bully,It IS about teaching kids TO TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT
Talking about the Conﬂict“I feel___ when you__ and Iwant ____”
Resolution SkillsAdopt a win/win approach that respects all parties’needs.Turn problems into opportunities for creativesolutions and relationship buildingUse emapthy to listen, clarify, and signalunderstandingBe assertive; discuss the problem, not the person
Resolution skills cont.Express emotions appropriatelyBe willing to work on the issue until it is resolved.Identify your issues and allow others to do the sameBrainstorm options; list as many as possibleTry to see the problem from other perspectives.
Parent’s MODEL• Model• Observe• Don’t ignore• Emphasize telling is not tattling• Listen
Change the RA way of Life1. discuss alternatives2. reward kindness3. Prevent rumination4. help her establish relationshipboundaries5. Use rituals of respect
Change the RA way of Life6.Empower girls to problem- solve7 Help girls explore a new way of .relating to peers8. Reframe hurtful behaviors9. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
Helping FriendsIf a friend becomes the target of RA, think if youwere in her shoes. Don’t participate in the gossiping! If someone tries to spread a rumor, inform them firmly it is not true! Let her know you are on her side Offer to go with her to adults
Works Cited• Dellasega, Cheryl, and Charisse Nixon. Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003. Print.• "Who We Are." The Ophelia Project - Leading Resource On Relational Aggression. Web. 08 May 2011. <http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/who_we_are.htm>.• Elizabeth, Jane. "Girl bullies dont leave black eyes, just agony." 10 Apr. 2002. PDF ﬁle. http:// www.myeagles.org/CCHS/OtherPDFs/Counsel_girlbullies.pdf• "Relational Aggression." The Society For Safe and Caring Schools and Communities. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Feb. 2011. <http://sacsc.ca/Relational%20Aggression%20tip%20sheet.pdf>.• Chen, Grace. "Female Bullies in Public Schools: The Rising Trend and School Reactions - Public School Review." Public School Review - Proﬁles of USA Public Schools. 18 Nov. 2010. Web. 21 Dec. 2010. <http://www.publicschoolreview.com/articles/59>.• Mean Girls—101½ Creative Strategies and Activities for Working with Relational Aggression, Kaye Randall, LISW-CP and Allyson A. Bowen, LISW-CP, Youthlight, Inc, ISBN# 978-1-59850-022-6• Queen Bees and Wannabes, Rosalind Wiseman, Random House,
ConclusionMost people think that relational aggression is just a part of everyone’s lives andeveryone goes through