How to make people like you
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  • 1. How to make peoplelike youPrinciple 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.A simple way to make a good impression.The expression one wears on ones face if far more important thanthe clothes one wears on ones back. Actions speak louder thanwords, and a smile says, " I like you. You make me happy. I am gladto see you." You must have a good time meeting people if f youexpect them to have a good time meeting you.You dont feel like smiling? Then what? Two things. First, forceyourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourself to whistle or hum atune or sing. Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend tomake you happy. "Action seems to follow feeling, but really actionand feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is underthe more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate thefeeling, which is not." -William James.Happiness doesnt depend on outward conditions. It depends oninner conditions. It isnt what you have or who you are or where you 1
  • 2. are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It iswhat you think about it. "There is nothing either good or bad," saidShakespeare, "but thinking makes it so." Your smile is a messenger ofyour good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. Tosomeone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn theirfaces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.Principle 2: Smile.If you dont do this, you are headed for troubleThe average person is more interested in his or her own name thanall the other names on earth put together. Remember that name andcall it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effectivecompliment. But forget it or misspell it-and you have place yourselfat a sharp disadvantage. Whenever you meet a new acquaintance, findout his or her complete name and some facts about his or her family,business or political opinions. Fix all these facts well in mind as partof the picture, and the next time you meet that person, even if it wasa year later, you will be able to shake hands, inquire after the family,and ask about the hollyhocks in the backyard.Sometimes it is difficult to remember a name, particularly if it is hardto pronounce. Rather than even try to learn it, many people ignore itor call the person by an easy nickname. Most people dont remembernames, for the simple reason that they dont take the time and energynecessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in theirminds. If you dont hear the name distinctly say excuse me I didntget your name clearly. Then, if it is an unusual name, ask how it isspelled.Use the persons name several times in the conversation; try toassociate it in your mind with the persons features, expression andgeneral appearance. Then, when you are alone write the name downon a piece of paper, look at it, and concentrate on it, fix it securely inyour mind, in this way you will gain an eye impression of the name aswell as an ear impression. 2
  • 3. Principle 3: Remember that a persons name is to that personthe sweetest and most important sound in any language.An easy way to become a good conversationalistListen intently; listen because you are genuinely interested. That kindof listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone.The chronic kicker, even the most violent critic, will frequently softenand be subdued in the presence of a patient, sympathetic listener-alistener who will be silent with the irate fault-finger dilates like a kingcobra and spews the poison out of his system. Be more eager to hearwhat a person has to say then even they are to tell it. Many people prefer good listeners to good talkers, but the ability tolisten seems rarer than almost any other good trait. All we want whenwe are in trouble is a friendly, sympathetic listener to unburdenyourself. That is frequently all the irritated customer wants, and thedissatisfied employee or the hurt friend. If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at youbehind your back and even despise you, here is the recipe: Neverlisten to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you havean idea while the other person is talking, dont wait for him or her tofinish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence. If youaspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To beinteresting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoyanswering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their 3
  • 4. accomplishments.Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk aboutthemselves.How to interest peopleThe royal road to a persons heart is to talk about the things he or shetreasures most. Make an effort to find out what interests the personthen get them talking about it. Talking in terms of the other personsinterests pays off for both parties.Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other persons interests.How to make people like you instantly.Ask yourself “What is there about him or her that I can honestlyadmire?" That is sometimes a hard question to answer, especially withstrangers. You want approval of those with whom you come incontact. You want recognition of your true worth. You want a feelingthat your are important in our little world. You dont want to listen tocheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation. Solets obey the Golden Rule, and give unto others what we would haveothers give unto us. How? When? Where? The answer is all the time,everywhere. Use little phrases such as "Im sorry to trouble you,___." "Would you please ___?" "Wont you please?" "Would youmind?" "Thank you." The unvarnished truth is that almost all thepeople you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and asure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way thatyou recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Talk topeople about themselves and they will listen for hours.Principle 6: Make the other person feel important-and do itsincerely. 4
  • 5. In a Nutshell: Six ways to make people like you Become genuinely interested inother people.Smile.Remember that a persons name is to that person the sweetest and most importantsound in any language.Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.Talk in terms of the other persons interests.Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely. 5