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NLP for project managers


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This presentation was given by Dr Peter Parkes as a webinar for the Association for Project Management in February 2013.

This presentation was given by Dr Peter Parkes as a webinar for the Association for Project Management in February 2013.

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  • Get people to set sound up properly Get your volume right – you have a control on your pc and one at the top of your screen
  • Why am I qualified to speak to you today on this topic? Well, like you… During early 90s when I was head of capability in the nuclear sector, you pretty much needed a PhD or first in sciences or engineering to get an interview. But HR & training, as they were called then, recommended some soft skills training as part of the graduate induction programme. The modules chosen were NLP based and we got some pretty striking behavioural changes in my team as a result. Those that know me know that I am heavily into continuous improvement, and it stimulated me to fold NLP training into my personal development. When I moved to a new company, and a new role managing transformation in public private partnerships, I found that I needed to really boost my skills again. I had Guy Hands, the venture capitalist who bought EMI, as my paymaster, with politicians and unions on the other side while I delivered a huge raft of customer services projects, from SAP to CRM. Gannt Charts and Risk Registers have there place, but do not help you to talk to unions about reducing their workforce by 30%. I found the approach and toolset in NLP the most relevant and easy to apply, and the modelling aspect meant that I could continue to improve. I went on to become NLP Master Practitioner, Licensed Coach, write my own book, and deliver NLP4PM training courses to several blue chip organisations at home and abroad. And you can read about some of those case studies in my newsletters.
  • 50-100 high level endorsements Endorsed by Heads of PM, eg Thales, Siemens, Cap Gemini and many others And lectured on several Masters programmes for PM From Amazon or BCS or NLP4PM
  • Who coined that phrase? (Peter Drucker) Armenian from Iran So only 20% of what you would get from F2F training But a lot more convenient as an introduction
  • As you know, there is a vast array of qualifications out there. But most of these are method based.
  • There are various models for PM. Like all models of the world , they should be judged only on whether they are useful . There are models based on: Classic view of management Change management view Programme management view PM as a decision making process etc
  • The APM, or Internet UK as it was called back then, was formed to promote computer based project networking techniques, eg those in Primavera and similar tools. In 2008 , Project magazine featured a special on ‘ Feminisation ’ of PM, by which they referred to the introduction of so-called soft skills . To my mind, there is no doubt now that PM is moving away from box ticking multiple choice to competence based assessment. Including the APM’s own RPP – anyone already done the pilot ? But you don’t have to take my word for it, here is a quote from people behind the Prince2 method Anyone here done Prince2 ?
  • Where do you think Prince2 fits on that chart ? (30 hours training, experience not required). And where does RPP sit ? As anyone done the RPP training course ? Trick question – it is an evidence based assessment of competence.
  • Get audience to type them in
  • This is a compilation from many sources, including apm. APM has some big things in there like ‘ HR management’, and ‘ leadership ’ Many of the traits look like components for leadership Many of the behaviours look like requirement for team-working Right, how to IMPROVE those competencies – that’s where NLP comes in.
  • ? Who here is familiar with the EI framework ? There are four quadrants Many people want to start with the ability to influence or even control others. But we must start, with understanding ourselves And then increasing our range of behaviours Before we stand much chance of properly understanding others . Only then can we start to influence others. Does that make sense ?
  • Outliers talks about factors behind the success of people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc The largest study of people with very high IQs clearly demonstrated that high levels of career achievement were correlated much more strongly with parents earnings than IQ (above a level of ca 120). But can IQ can help you to learn EQ?
  • MSc Bedford / Santander Case studies in my Newsletters CN – photo TSYS
  • Fro me it’s a bit like SAP and the full name is not that useful. But for completeness… What this means is that what we say is an expression of the way we think And The way we think is influenced by the way we speak and are spoken to That means that we can use it to understand ourselves and others And Influence the behaviours of ourselves and others.
  • In my map of the world, NLP is principally about managing self , and increasing ability to understand others,
  • BCS & Leadership
  • Symbol is Agile It is also a symbol for the Koru, representing the unfurling of a new fern leaf and denoting ‘new beginnings’ Here I am indicating that this is about continuous improvement and we should keep going round and round the cycle
  • 2 Nobel prize winners No Nobel prize for Psychology – Kahneman’s was for economics Pavlov – programme a dog, though not by language. Korzybski went on to define neuro-linguistics. That said, dog training schools effectively use voice commands as anchors.
  • A lot of people think that NLP is about ‘controlling other people’ – it is not. (Huskies on book) For me, it is mostly about understanding self And then learning to have flexible behaviour In relation to other people, again reflecting EI frameworks, it is about understanding them and their world better so that you can communicate more effectively. Added to this, of course, we have modelling of effective behaviours in others.
  • Firstly, lets start with what are known as the pillars of NLP. - If you don’t get these right, then nothing works. Outcome thinking - Start with the outcome in mind. The more accurately you can describe the outcome then the more likely you are of achieving it. Sounds a bit like PM, doesn’t it ? Sensory awareness – on an NLP course this should be the first thing that you are taught. Basically , most of us have to learn to get out of our own thoughts and to connect with the outside world in the moment . Rapport – without this communication is a façade and we are doome d to failure. We will cover some aspects of rapport in this session. Behavioural flexibility ? Who was it that said ‘ Insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting to get a different result ’ ( Albert Einstein) We will look at some key behaviours and show that, as PMs , to be effective we need to be able to choose our behaviours to match the situation.
  • Cf Myers Briggs Type Indicator LAB profiling
  • It depends on what level you are in the larger project What activity you are doing And what part of the life cycle you are in.
  • Andy Murray quote Can also use Myers Briggs Type Indicator and similar psychometrics – I think I have done them all. So, if you think it doesn’t apply to you, your boss probably does.
  • ‘ The map is not the territory’ – what does that mean? A map is a representation or model, for some purpose. But all maps and models are perceptions and have their limits. They are not reality. Our maps of the world are all different, shaped by our values, beliefs, our family and friends, experiences, how we code our memories, our meta-programmes. But we behave as if everyone shares our map of the world even though it is unique. At best we try to give our opinions or tell other people about our map and why it is the right one. People of course fight wars over them, let alone argue. One definition of rapport is being able to meet someone on THEIR map of the world A key skill is being able to elicit someone else’s map of the world quickly – how? By asking the right questions and listening instead of talking about ourselves.
  • People have a natural inclination, what we call a primary or preferred representational system. They will consistently use words relating to that system. If you want to communicate effectively with them, then use similar words.
  • Recent course – stood back. All words were kinaesthetic. Realised problem was about his ‘feelings’ not about the technical issue.
  • What kinds of words do you use ?
  • We should be conscious of these signals and respond to their construct of the world. It sounds simple, but listen to the lack of listening at the next meeting you are in.
  • Negotiating to success was the topic of my December newsletter and it relies heavily on the technique of perceptual positions. Remember that all NLP strategies are modelled from people who do something well, And one of the originators of NLP, John Grinder, found that this technique was used by those who were very good at negotiation. It is said that Ghandi used a similar process to get what he needed from large rooms of powerful world leaders. Sitting in each of their chairs in turn as they were laid out with their name badges and imaging himself in their shoes.
  • This was the technique that switched me on to NLP twenty years ago. After yet another difficult meeting with an old boss I was finally taught by an NLP practitioner that worked for me how to see things from the other perspectives and to modify my behaviours based on what would have the most appropriate impact and favourable outcome.
  • Without Rapport we are doomed to failure Resistance in a client is due to lack of rapport
  • Again this was the title of the newspaper headline (‘United front’) Now look at this mirroring. Perhaps more ugly ducklings than swans, But they are obviously matching and have rapport, don’t they ? They have obviously been coached , but no-one was surprised by their memoires saying they hated each other. There is a lack of congruence , which is why I advise for rapport ‘ make it, don’t fake it ’ – you will fail. I regard matching as an output measure, not an input technique, though many NLPers teach it this way.
  • After a talk to PMs at Thales ‘I don’t want to stay like Gordon Brown’
  • Away from - Overcome, solve, Prevent, avoid, issue Internal reference - We recommend, We are / will
  • Transcript

    • 1. Developing Behavioural Competences through NLP Dr Peter Parkes Peak Performance Training, Coaching and Consulting© Peter Parkes 2013
    • 2. Agenda 1. Introductions 2. Where is PM going? 3. What behaviours do we need? 4. What is NLP? 5. Behaviours as meta-programs 6. Self awareness 7. Maps of the world 8. Rep systems 9. Perceptual positions 10. Rapport 11. Summary 12. Questions / Next steps© Peter Parkes 2013 2
    • 3. 1 Introduction  Why me?  How I got in NLP4PM  Finding out a bit about you  Why the book?  A word of caution from Meharabian© Peter Parkes 2013 3
    • 4. Dr Peter Parkes MBA – how I discovered NLPLike you, I am committed to ongoing personal and professional development and have an established career in senior positions in project management. Held Programme Director roles in the Private Sector, Public Sector, Public Private Partnerships, and ‘Big 4’ Management Consultancies. Held interim CIO and Head of IT roles. Chartered IT professional and Fellow of the British Computer Society Main Board Director of Association for Project Management and Board Champion for best practice groups 2009-2012. Masters dissertation on best practice for project management of technology. Sit on Steering Group of PM Body of Knowledge. Founding member of best practice groups on Governance, Assurance and Portfolio Management and co-author of standard industry guidance. NLP Master Practitioner and Licensed Coach. Author ‘NLP for Project Managers’ – listed for ‘Management book of the year’ in 2011 Managing Director of Peak Performance, offering consultancy, training and coaching in project management to help you build internal capability.© Peter Parkes 2013 4
    • 5. Finding out a bit about you  It took me 12 months to speak to 2000 people across the UK in 2011 on this topic, but we have over 500 logged in today.  Let’s have a little practice with this platform and controls.  This talk was only advertised via the APM in the UK, but type in the question box where you are from if you are logged in from outside the UK.  ‘Hands up’ those who have already read my book ‘NLP for Project Managers’ or been to one of my talks already? Or had some NLP training?  For those groups, type in the questions box what you thought were the most interesting and useful parts of NLP?© Peter Parkes 2013 5
    • 6. Why did I feel the need to write the book?  Lots of training around process for PM but not on behavioural aspects  Many people trained in NLP but cannot apply it outside ‘therapy’  Most NLP practitioners, in my opinion, lack credibility in the business world  NLP books and training is usually written around NLP techniques rather than by business application  The book was ‘reverse engineered’ from my training course to ensure that it is applicable.  Why by British Computer Society? To establish credibility with CIOs and Heads of PM – many high level endorsements  The book was listed by CMI for ‘Management book of the year’ in 2011© Peter Parkes 2013 6
    • 7. A word of caution - hearing what isn’t being said Anyone heard of Albert Mehrabian? Professor of Psychology at UCLA famous for experiments on non-verbal communication How much content is picked up from body language? How much of remainder from tone and emphasis? So how much content is in just the words? So why do we use so much email and not make the time for face to face or calls? And how useful can a Webinar be compared to F2F training?© Peter Parkes 2013 7
    • 8. 2 Direction of PM and PM qualifications© Peter Parkes 2013 8
    • 9. What is Project Management ? Performance / quality  ‘Project Management is getting things done through others’ (Barnes)  ‘Project Management is an attitude of mind’ (Turner UCL) Cost Time© Peter Parkes 2013 9
    • 10. Direction of PM and qualifications ‘Method and process are important in project management, but knowing how to use them is even more so’. Bob Assirati CBE Vice President, BCS Honorary Fellow, APM Major Projects Director, OGC ‘Consistent feedback when we released early drafts of PRINCE2 was the need to describe those vital behavioural competences (or soft skills) that project managers require for successful project delivery’. Andy Murray CDir Lead author PRINCE2 (2009 Refresh)© Peter Parkes 2013 10
    • 11. Competence requires skills and experience as well as knowledge ‘10,000 hours rule’? Competence Master practitioner Practitioner Early practitioner e gde won K Novice l Structured experience / skills© Peter Parkes 2013 11
    • 12. What are the required behavioural competences for effective PM ?© Peter Parkes 2013 12
    • 13. PM competences Traits Behaviours Skills •Responsible •View people as •Conflict •Self confident allies, not Management •Self control adversaries •Negotiation •Approachable •Think win / win •Influencing •Autonomous •Begin with the end •Listening •Integrity in mind •Problem solving •Empathy •Respect other •Big picture people •Self development •Creative •Open cooperation •Energetic •Pro-actively build •Reliable relationships© Peter Parkes 2013 13
    • 14. Soft skills = Emotional Intelligence Self Other (Personal Competence) (Social Competence) Recognition Self awareness Social awareness Regulation Self management Social influence© Peter Parkes 2013 14
    • 15. Emotional Intelligence© Peter Parkes 2013 15
    • 16. IQ v EQ in exceptional achievers E Q ‘IQ and EQ are orthogonal – the presence of one does not imply the presence ‘Practical intelligence includes of the other’ things like knowing what to say to whom, knowing when to say it, and IQ knowing how to say it for maximum effect. It is procedural’.© Peter Parkes 2013 16
    • 17. Behaviours for Higher Apprenticeships for Project Managers  Communications  Business case  Stakeholder Management  Scheduling  Leadership  Managing scope  Managing resources  Managing contracts  Managing finances and costs  Managing Quality  Managing Risks  Monitoring and reporting© Peter Parkes 2013 17
    • 18. Can you improve behavioural competences through training? ‘But you can’t teach behavioural competences in the classroom’ It was refreshing to be on a course The NLP4PM experience was that focussed on attitudes and transformational for the participants. Key behaviours rather than on processes. I behaviour and attitude changes were saw positive changes in attitude and observable and measurable only a few behaviour from my co-workers days after the course was completed. immediately after the course. Olivier Drouin, Senior Portfolio Jenny Lanaway, Resource Manager, Canadian National Manager, TSYS International© Peter Parkes 2013 18
    • 19. 4 What is NLP?  What does NLP stand for?  Some definitions of NLP  Scope of NLP  Scope of NLP4PM and behaviours  Where did NLP come from?  Overview of NLP  4 Pillars of NLP  How NLP bridges the communication divide© Peter Parkes 2013 19
    • 20. What does NLP stand for? Neuro The connection between neurological processes, Linguistic language and Programming behaviour patterns that have been learned through experience (programming) which can be organised to achieve specific goals in life. It is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy. Most of the processes (or patterns) that it uses have simply been modelled from individuals who exhibit successful behaviours and strategies.© Peter Parkes 2013 20
    • 21. What is NLP ?  A form of applied psychology  The study of the structure of subjective experience  The modelling of human excellence  Looking for ‘the difference that makes the difference’  A means of achieving Peak Performance  It has been described as a system, a methodology, and a set of processes.  More than anything else to me though, NLP is an approach.© Peter Parkes 2013 21
    • 22. Scope of NLP© Peter Parkes 2013 22
    • 23. Scope of NLP4PM Bringing two worlds together The world of PM NLP for PM The world of NLP© Peter Parkes 2013 23
    • 24. NLP aspects covered in NLP4PM  The four pillars of NLP  Sensory acuity and body language  Presuppositions of NLP  Sub-modalities – the coding of our memories  World-views & filters  Anchoring of resourceful states  The un-conscious mind – who is in charge?  Rapport – the doorway to better communications  Beliefs, Values & Identity  Surface & deep structure of  Meta-programs & Behaviours language using the meta-model  Frames and Re-framing  Time-lines, learning to be ‘in-time’  Representational systems &  How to model excellence primary senses© Peter Parkes 2013 24
    • 25. How can NLP be applied to PM behaviours ? Self Other (Personal Competence) (Social Competence) Self awareness Sensory acuity Feedback Listening Recognition Self coaching Rapport Presenting yourself Body language Self confidence State management Re-frame Goal setting Assertiveness Continuous development Conflict Management Resilience & Stress Management Negotiation Regulation Flexibility Motivation Big picture / detail Feedback Time Management Coaching Modelling Delegation© Peter Parkes 2013 25
    • 26. Plan for increasing EI Self Awareness Self Management Social Awareness Social Influence Leadership© Peter Parkes 2013 26
    • 27. Where did NLP come from ? Miller Perls Bandler & Erikson TOTE modelling Gestalt therapy Grinder Milton Model 7±2 Rep systems NLP Meta-modelPavlov Korzybski Neuro- linguistics 1950 1960 1970 1980 NLP Semantics Bateson Berne Satir Dilts James Systems Theory Transactional Family Neurological Time-line Cybernetics analyses therapy levels Parts Kahneman Framing & Priming© Peter Parkes 2013 27
    • 28. Overview of NLP  Experience has structure, coded by our representational systems (sight, sound, feelings) and sub-modalities (quality of our senses).  All of our maps of the world are different, filtered by our Values and Beliefs.  NLP can help to understand our own behaviours (meta- programs) and learn to explore other peoples maps of the world.© Peter Parkes 2013 28
    • 29. Outcome thinking© Peter Parkes 2013 Sensory awareness29 NLP Ecology 4 Pillars of NLP Rapport Behavioural
    • 30. Outcome thinking© Peter Parkes 2013 Information30 PM Trust 4 Pillars of PM ? Relationships Behavioural
    • 31. NLP helps to develop flexible language and behaviour Rapport World view World view Ideas Language & Effective Language & Ideas Behaviour Behaviour Communication The component of the system with the most flexibility controls the system (Ashby)© Peter Parkes 2013 31
    • 32. 5 Behaviours as meta-programs  What are meta-programs?  What are your behaviours ?  Meta-programs and PM activities© Peter Parkes 2013 32
    • 33. Some behaviours / meta-programs (of over 60) Person Thing Oriented towards people and focuses on Focused on tasks, systems, ideas, tools. feelings and thoughts. Getting the job done. People are the task. Self / Introvert Other / Extrovert Needs to be alone to re-charge their Relaxes in the company of others. batteries. Has a lot of surface relationships. Few relationships with deep connections. Knows about a lot of things, but not in detail. Interested in a few topics but to great detail. Associated Dissociated Feelings and relationships are important. Detached from feelings. Task oriented. Sameness Difference Likes things to be the same. Likes challenge. Doesn’t like surprises. Looks for opportunities to try new things.© Peter Parkes 2013 33
    • 34. Meta-programs – which are the best for PM ? General Specific Likes to take a ‘helicopter view’ and Likes to work with detailed gets bored with detail. information and examples. Options Procedures Likes to generate choices. Good at generating logical flows. Good at developing alternatives. Likes to have processes documented. Independent Co-operative Wants to work alone. Wants to work as part of a team. Wants sole accountability. Likes shared responsibility. In time Through time Lives in the moment. Good at keeping track of time and Creative but poor with deadlines. managing deadlines. Goof at building relationships.© Peter Parkes 2013 34
    • 35. Exercise: PM activities and meta-programs PM activity Big picture or detail ? Option or procedure ? Outline business case Executive report Options appraisal Schedule (Gantt chart) Risk Register© Peter Parkes 2013 35
    • 36. 6 Self awareness ‘He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened’ Lau Tzu  In my pole of ‘top ten’ behaviours that stakeholders whish their PMs had more of this was #1.  There are many ways to become more self aware, once you have inclination, but all involve seeking feedback, especially from those that you do not get on so easily with.  From NLP, I particularly like ‘Language and Behaviour’ profiling.© Peter Parkes 2013 36
    • 37. 7 We all have different maps of the world© Peter Parkes 2013 37
    • 38. 8 Representational Systems  Main representational systems (senses)  Practicing language related to rep systems  Flexing and matching language© Peter Parkes 2013 38
    • 39. Main representational systems  Visual  Kinaesthetic  Like to see things  Like doing physical  Like words relating to things seeing things  Use the language of doing  Auditory  Like to hear and tell stories  Listen to the sound of words  Use words related to hearing© Peter Parkes 2013 39
    • 40. Audio-digital  Led by a constant internal  We dont talk much about dialogue Audio-digital as it has only about a 2% representation in  The language of logic the general population.  Language void of verbs related  In our technical communities, to senses however, they are massively over-represented.© Peter Parkes 2013 40
    • 41. Exercise: Representation systems Primary system Example Predicates Your examples Clarify Clear-cut Visual Focus Hindsight Take a dim view Discuss Clear as a bell Auditory Outspoken Loud and clear Harmonize Impact Get a load of this Kinaesthetic Walk through the proposal Foundation Stir up trouble© Peter Parkes 2013 41
    • 42. Exercise: Matching language to representational systems Expressions of discomfort by Matching by respondent client 1. I do not feel very comfortable 1. What support would you like ? presenting this. 2. I don’t like what I am hearing. 2. What would you like me to say? 3. I don’t think you see my view. 3. Show me how you see it. 4. This doesn’t smell right to 4. How can we clear the air ? me. 5. One of them is really sweet. 5. Are there any tastier options ?© Peter Parkes 2013 42
    • 43. NLP bridging the divide to better communication Rapport World view World view Ideas Language & Effective Language & Ideas Behaviour Behaviour Communication© Peter Parkes 2013 43
    • 44. 9 Perceptual positions  Useful for negotiation in all its forms  Featured in December newsletter and Blog  You can download the exercise from the website under ‘free resources’© Peter Parkes 2013 44
    • 45. Perceptual positions 1st person 2nd person Seeing, hearing and feeling Seeing, hearing and feeling the the situation through your situation through the filters of own filters the other person The ability to 3rd person You will forget what Seeing, hearing and feeling the ‘2nd position’ is situation through filters of a someone says to a key life skill detached observer you but you will remember the way they made you feel© Peter Parkes 2013 45
    • 46. 10 Rapport – make it don’t fake it© Peter Parkes 2013 46
    • 47. Swansong© Peter Parkes 2013 47
    • 48. United front© Peter Parkes 2013 48
    • 49. NLP bridging the divide Rapport World view World view Ideas Language & Effective Language & Ideas Behaviour Behaviour Communication The component of the system with the most flexibility controls the system (Ashby)© Peter Parkes 2013 49
    • 50. Matching the language of meta-programs Proactive Reactive Lets do it ! Analyse, consider, think about, Go for it ! Set up a study group JDI Towards Away from Outcomes, objectives, results, ? achieve, deliver, milestones, deliverables ? Internal reference External reference ? What’s your opinion ? Has anyone else used this approach ? Match Mis-match Common, same, Doesn’t fit, I remember a situation like this Different,© Peter Parkes 2013 50
    • 51. Exercise: Meta-programmes for rapport Best for building rapport ? Self / Introvert Other / Extrovert Need to be alone to re-charge their batteries. Relaxes in the company of others. Few relationships with deep connections. Have a lot of surface relationships. Interested in a few topics but to great detail. Know about a lot of things, but not in detail. Match Mismatch Notice points of similarity. Notice differences. Associated Dissociated Feelings and relationships are important. Detached from feelings. Work with information. Task oriented. In time Through time Live in the moment. Good at keeping track of time and managing Creative but poor with deadlines. deadlines. Proactive Reactive Initiates action. Analyses first then follows the lead from others. Person Thing Centred on feelings Centred on tasks© Peter Parkes 2013 51
    • 52. ? Marriage made in heaven ?  More importantly, what about you and your client ?  Are you in rapport ? If not, how can you start to achieve it ?  How can you connect ?  Are communications as clear as a bell, a perfect picture, or fully supported?  Can you recall what language they use?  What do you think their preferred representation system is ?  What does their map of the world look like?  Which of their meta-programs are different to yours, and how do you compensate?  What are you going to do differently tomorrow?© Peter Parkes 2013 52
    • 53. Summary  Knowing what to do is taken as given.  The ‘how’, behavioural competences, differentiates those who get things done from those frustrated by inertia and resistance.  Changing behaviours requires only intent, a strategy and practice.  Tools within the NLP approach, being based on modelling of excellence and effective strategies for achieving desired outcomes, can help to improve  Self awareness  Rapport and communications,  Behavioural competences, and  Social influence.© Peter Parkes 2013 53
    • 54. ? Questions ? Visit us at – free downloads Book next NLP4PM course 15th April Buy the book ‘NLP for Project Managers’ from Amazon Talk to me on +44 7764 319600 Skype: Dr.Peter.Parkes Email me at Join LinkedIn Group ‘NLP for Project Management’ Connect on LinkedIn: PeterParkesMBA Twitter @ NLP4PM© Peter Parkes 2013 54