Positive Solutions for
Families
By Angela Searcy, M.S.
www.overtherainbowsimplesolutions.com

asearcya@aol.com
708-845-234...
Angela Searcy asearcya@aol.com 708-845-2343
•

Angela Searcy M.S., D.T. holds a B.A. degree in English and secondary educa...
Simple Solutions Educational Services ©
2006

Angela Searcy’s Simple
Solutions Show!
EVERY Sat at 11am CST @
www.globalnew...
Simple Solutions Educational Services
© 2006

Simple Solutions Educational
Services
on Facebook
What is CSEFEL?
The Center on the Social and Emotional
Foundations for Early Learning

www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel
A Federal...
How Does the Parent Change?
What are Positive Behavior
Supports?
• A child’s social and
emotional development
is closely tied to the
parents’ behavior...
Hmmm…
• Can you Discipline a child you don’t
have a positive relationship with?

8
“Every child needs one person
who is crazy about him.”
Uri Bronfenbrenner

9
Building Positive Relationships with
Your Child
• LOVE is the fuel
that helps their
engine Run!

10
How Might Children Communicate
They are “Running on Empty!”
• Crying
• Hitting
• What else?
Catch Your Child Being Good!
• Give specific, positive attention to your
child for the behavior that you want to
see, and ...
Parent Behavior Is
• Do As I Say, Not As I Do” does not work
• Short phrases are key—two sentences or
less—even things lik...
Say the DO instead of the Don’t
• Stop yelling!
• Don’t throw your
toys!
• Stop bothering your
sister!.
• Cut it out.

• U...
Ways to Give Children Encouragement
(examples)
• “Thank you for __________.”
• “What a good problem solver you are, you we...
Have parents fill the relationship
TANK!
List 5 things that you will
try to do in the next
week to “fill/refill” your
chil...
• Children respond better to adults who take a personal
interest in them.
• Develop positive relationships are critical fo...
Make Your “Expectations” Clear
• Tell your child what to do instead of what not
to do.
• Clearly and simply state what you...
Common Mistakes: Time-Out
• Angrily threatening time-out
– Gives child the attention he/she is wanting

• Allowing other c...
Helpful Hint!
• Young children often do NOT
understand contractions like “don’t”
• Young children tend to hear the last
wo...
Tips for Encouraging Your Child
Powerful Parenting Practice!
• Tip 1
• Tip 2
• Tip 3
• Tip 4
• Tip 5
• Tip 6

Get your chi...
Things to Try at Home
Making the Connection!
Positive Parenting Tips
• Try to fill/refill your child’s relationship
tank
•...
Setting The Stage for Success!

•
•
•
•

Try to anticipate problems
Stay near your child
Support your child
Encourage your...
Plan Ahead
• Try to anticipate what your child may do
or may need in various situations. Plan
ahead to set your child up f...
Stay Calm
• When a child’s behavior is
challenging, you can either respond
to it or ignore it. If reaction is
necessary, r...
Controlling Anger and Impulse

How can we help our
children…
• recognize anger in
themselves and
others?
• learn how to ca...
Turtle Technique
Recognize
that you

“Think”
Stop.

feel angry.

Go into shell.
Take 3 deep
breathes.
And think
calm, copi...
Tucker Turtle
Takes Time to
Tuck and Think
A scripted story to assist with teaching the
“Turtle Technique”
By Rochelle Len...
Tucker Turtle is a terrific turtle. He likes to play with his friends at
Wet Lake School.
But sometimes things happen that can make Tucker really mad.
When Tucker got mad, he used to hit, kick, or yell at his friends. His
friends would get mad or upset when he hit, kicked,...
Tucker now knows a new way to “think like a turtle” when he
gets mad.
He can stop and keep his hands, body, and yelling to himself!
He can tuck inside his shell and take 3 deep breaths to calm
down.
Tucker’s friends are happy when he plays nicely and keeps his body
to himself. Friends also like it when Tucker uses nice ...
The End!
Centers!
Turtle Box

19
Teach Calming Techniques
Use of Songs and Games
Sample Song
• If you are happy and you know it…add
new verses to teach feelings
– If you’re sad and...
Play: How Would You Feel If?
• Discuss typical situations that happen when
children are together: “How would you feel if t...
Sample Game

Make a _____ face.
Simple Solutions Adaptation
Using Pictures to Teach Rules
• Get out your camera
• Snap a photograph of what you want
your child “to do”
• Post it, mod...
Make Routines Simple!

45
The Solution Kit
Problem-Solving Games
• What if your sister hit you? How would you feel?
What could you do?
• What if you wrote on Mommy’s...
Problem-Solving Games (cont.)
• What if it was bedtime and you wanted hear one
more book? What could you do?
• What if Dad...
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Alliance for early childhood kenilworth handouts

  1. 1. Positive Solutions for Families By Angela Searcy, M.S. www.overtherainbowsimplesolutions.com asearcya@aol.com 708-845-2343 1
  2. 2. Angela Searcy asearcya@aol.com 708-845-2343 • Angela Searcy M.S., D.T. holds a B.A. degree in English and secondary education with teacher certification though the state of Illinois and a M.S. degree in early childhood development from Erikson Institute, with a specialization in Infant Studies and a credential in developmental therapy. Angela is a Diversifying in Higher Education in Illinois Fellow at Argosy University in the Doctor of Education Program • Angela is the owner and founder of Simple Solutions Educational Services, has over 20 years of experience in the field of education, is an approved professional development provider by the Illinois State Board of Education, and Texas ECI. She acted as an professional development provider for Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) at Vanderbilt University, the Multisensory Training Institute (MTI) in Needham, MA and the Angela currently is a professional development provider for Teaching Strategies, LLC, Lakeshore Learning, Carson CA and Erikson Institute for Child Development. • Angela is also a professor at Rasmussen College, a Head Start CLASS Reviewer, a PDI coach with the Ounce of Prevention and the host of Angela Searcy’s Simple Solutions Internet Show 11am CST on www.globalnewsforum.com • A former associate at the Neuropsychology Diagnostic Center in Orland Park, Illinois, Angela has specialized training in neuroscience and is a nationally recognized speaker. She has been featured on Chicago Public Radio’s Chicago Matters, Chicago Parent and Chicago Baby Magazines and is a regular speaker for the Learning and the Simple Solutions Brain Conference Sponsored by Harvard, Educational Stanford Universities. Yale and Services © 2006
  3. 3. Simple Solutions Educational Services © 2006 Angela Searcy’s Simple Solutions Show! EVERY Sat at 11am CST @ www.globalnewsforum.com
  4. 4. Simple Solutions Educational Services © 2006 Simple Solutions Educational Services on Facebook
  5. 5. What is CSEFEL? The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel A Federally Funded Center Focused on Improving the Social Emotional Outcomes of Children Birth to Age Five. Partners: • Vanderbilt University • University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign • University of Colorado at Denver • University of South Florida • ZERO to THREE • Georgetown Center for Child and Human Development
  6. 6. How Does the Parent Change?
  7. 7. What are Positive Behavior Supports? • A child’s social and emotional development is closely tied to the parents’ behavior! • Social and emotional development HELPS academic skills! • Positive alternatives to spanking and “no!” 7
  8. 8. Hmmm… • Can you Discipline a child you don’t have a positive relationship with? 8
  9. 9. “Every child needs one person who is crazy about him.” Uri Bronfenbrenner 9
  10. 10. Building Positive Relationships with Your Child • LOVE is the fuel that helps their engine Run! 10
  11. 11. How Might Children Communicate They are “Running on Empty!” • Crying • Hitting • What else?
  12. 12. Catch Your Child Being Good! • Give specific, positive attention to your child for the behavior that you want to see, and teach your child what to do! “Wow! You are being so careful keeping all the pieces on the table!” 12
  13. 13. Parent Behavior Is • Do As I Say, Not As I Do” does not work • Short phrases are key—two sentences or less—even things like “Stay on task” or “Focus” • Brain reacts to positive statements • Lengthy arguments muddy the waters
  14. 14. Say the DO instead of the Don’t • Stop yelling! • Don’t throw your toys! • Stop bothering your sister!. • Cut it out. • Use your inside voice • Your toys go here or you need a ball • Use kind words • Try to use kind words and hands 14
  15. 15. Ways to Give Children Encouragement (examples) • “Thank you for __________.” • “What a good problem solver you are, you were able to__________.” • “It’s so much fun to play with you; you are so good at ________.” (sharing, taking turns) • “You were being so kind when you ________.” • “Thank you for using your inside voice when your sister was sleeping.” 15
  16. 16. Have parents fill the relationship TANK! List 5 things that you will try to do in the next week to “fill/refill” your child’s relationship tank. Things that will make your child feel really special! Things that will help build a positive relationship with your child.
  17. 17. • Children respond better to adults who take a personal interest in them. • Develop positive relationships are critical for learning and development • Make sure the ratio between positive and negative experiences for students is about 5 positives for every negative. 17
  18. 18. Make Your “Expectations” Clear • Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do. • Clearly and simply state what you expect your child to do. • Have age-appropriate expectations. • Use age-appropriate language. Young children have difficulty with contractions (two words that are combined to form one, such as “don’t” and “can’t”). 18
  19. 19. Common Mistakes: Time-Out • Angrily threatening time-out – Gives child the attention he/she is wanting • Allowing other children to tease the child who is in time-out – Gives the child attention • Applying time-out long after the behavior has occurred – Time-out is only effective when immediately applied. • Scolding your child when putting him/her in or out of time-out – Time-out only works when it is time away from adult attention. 19
  20. 20. Helpful Hint! • Young children often do NOT understand contractions like “don’t” • Young children tend to hear the last word so in “don’t run” they hear….RUN! • Telling them what not to do doesn’t teach them what TO DO! 20
  21. 21. Tips for Encouraging Your Child Powerful Parenting Practice! • Tip 1 • Tip 2 • Tip 3 • Tip 4 • Tip 5 • Tip 6 Get your child’s attention. Use behavior specific language. Keep it simple—avoid combining encouragement with criticism. Encourage with enthusiasm. Double the impact with physical warmth. Use positive comments and encouragement with your child in front of others. 21
  22. 22. Things to Try at Home Making the Connection! Positive Parenting Tips • Try to fill/refill your child’s relationship tank • Try to use positive comments and encouragement with your child • Have fun together! 22
  23. 23. Setting The Stage for Success! • • • • Try to anticipate problems Stay near your child Support your child Encourage your child 23
  24. 24. Plan Ahead • Try to anticipate what your child may do or may need in various situations. Plan ahead to set your child up for a successful experience. Hope for the best, but always have a backup plan! Plan ahead! 24
  25. 25. Stay Calm • When a child’s behavior is challenging, you can either respond to it or ignore it. If reaction is necessary, remember that less is usually best. 25
  26. 26. Controlling Anger and Impulse How can we help our children… • recognize anger in themselves and others? • learn how to calm down? • understand appropriate ways to express anger?
  27. 27. Turtle Technique Recognize that you “Think” Stop. feel angry. Go into shell. Take 3 deep breathes. And think calm, coping thoughts. Come out of shell when calm and think of a solution.
  28. 28. Tucker Turtle Takes Time to Tuck and Think A scripted story to assist with teaching the “Turtle Technique” By Rochelle Lentini March 2005 Created using pictures from Microsoft Clipart® and Webster-Stratton, C. (1991). The teachers and children videotape series: Dina dinosaur school. Seattle, WA: The Incredible Years.
  29. 29. Tucker Turtle is a terrific turtle. He likes to play with his friends at Wet Lake School.
  30. 30. But sometimes things happen that can make Tucker really mad.
  31. 31. When Tucker got mad, he used to hit, kick, or yell at his friends. His friends would get mad or upset when he hit, kicked, or yelled at them.
  32. 32. Tucker now knows a new way to “think like a turtle” when he gets mad.
  33. 33. He can stop and keep his hands, body, and yelling to himself!
  34. 34. He can tuck inside his shell and take 3 deep breaths to calm down.
  35. 35. Tucker’s friends are happy when he plays nicely and keeps his body to himself. Friends also like it when Tucker uses nice words or has a teacher help him when he is upset.
  36. 36. The End!
  37. 37. Centers! Turtle Box 19
  38. 38. Teach Calming Techniques
  39. 39. Use of Songs and Games Sample Song • If you are happy and you know it…add new verses to teach feelings – If you’re sad and you know it, tuck and think – If you’re mad and you know it, use your words “I’m mad” – If you’re scared and you know it ask for help, “help me” – If you’re happy and you know it, hug a friend – If you’re tired and you know it, give a yawn.
  40. 40. Play: How Would You Feel If? • Discuss typical situations that happen when children are together: “How would you feel if this happened to you?” – Example: Jeremy wanted to play ball with Katie and Wu-ying today, but they wouldn’t let him. How do you think that made him feel? How do you think you would feel if that happened to you? What could Jeremy try next time?
  41. 41. Sample Game Make a _____ face.
  42. 42. Simple Solutions Adaptation
  43. 43. Using Pictures to Teach Rules • Get out your camera • Snap a photograph of what you want your child “to do” • Post it, model it, practice it, and notice when it’s done and praise it! • If your rule is “clean up”…show him/her
  44. 44. Make Routines Simple! 45
  45. 45. The Solution Kit
  46. 46. Problem-Solving Games • What if your sister hit you? How would you feel? What could you do? • What if you wrote on Mommy’s bedroom wall with a marker? How would you feel? How do you think Mommy would feel? What could you do? • What if you knocked over your friend’s tower at school? How would you feel? How do you think your friend would feel? What could you do? • What if you and your sister wanted to watch something different on the television? What could you do? • What if someone at school was teasing you and calling you names. How would you feel? What could you do? 47
  47. 47. Problem-Solving Games (cont.) • What if it was bedtime and you wanted hear one more book? What could you do? • What if Daddy sent you to time-out for hitting your brother? How would you feel? How do you think your brother would feel? How do you think Daddy would feel? What could you do? • What if you really wanted a toy at the toy store but Mommy said you could not have it? How would you feel? What could you do? • What if you really wanted to play with your sister and her friends, but they said, “No”? How would you feel? What could you do? 48
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