Making a decision This chapter discusses a woman’s right to decide if she wants to have children. On page 309, in Our Bodies, Ourselves it mentions the change that society has gone through because at one point women always had children and it was found odd if she didn’t. Also there has been a significant change between a full time mothers (stay at home moms) and working mothers. At one point there was very little women who where not stay at home moms and now society has changed drastically.
Guidelines for Deciding “Choosing means letting go of other options Time to decide and be happy about decision Cant expect to be 100% certain The “wrong decision” wont ruin your life Use logic and intuition when considering Seek support from family and friends Consider non-traditional options for raising children”
These guidelines should be used when coming to this type of decision. The text mentions being a parent forever and how the decision process shouldnt’t be taken lightly. If you and your partner disagree then caution needs to be taken to come to a decision together. Along with discovering if having a child is right for you, you should also consider your partner and common challenges that will occur.
Common Challenges Avoiding a conscious decision- allowing “nature to take its coarse” Letting your partner decide for you- their opinions might sway you into deciding a certain way Thinking your partner will change- may not be able to catch warning signs that your partner isn’t ready or if they have personal issues that you do not agree with Thinking it’s a decision between no children and two children- many people don’t want to have an only child who may be spoiled (not the case) Making the decision without knowing what children are really like- being an uninformed parent Worrying that you wont be a good parent- if your parents made mistakes or were great parents and not being able to live up to your own expectations
Paths to parenthood and Conceiving a child Decisions are made clear and conscious Considered the change in everyday life and relationships Bodies preparation for having a child Emotions that go along with childcare Women need to be aware of their fertility and menstrual cycle in order to conceive a child. Remembering to care for yourself when you are trying to conceive is very important because the process can become physically and emotionally tolling
Adoption Adoption is a process that is very rewarding and helpful to not only yourself but for the child. A close family friend has just recently gone through the process of adoption. It has been a moving experience for all members involved. Types of adoption Kinship-child placed with a relative Public-adoption through a public agency Private-private agency with a charity or social service organization Independent- personal form of adoption such as a physician, attorney Anonymous-initial and ongoing contact between birth mother and adoptive families Domestic and international- United States adoptions and foreign country adoptions
Finances and Support When decided to have a child or adopt a person will need to have secure finances because of the needs of the child. Support is also crucial because parenting is hard work physically and emotionally. There are complex needs of each individual involved and the child. Having support from friends and family helps to make the process of parenting run more smoothly.
My opinion I agreed with the information provided in the text. I thought that it was very relevant for people who are deciding to have a child or adopt a child. Also there has a been a significant change the family structure because women are choosing to continue to work while they have children. Personally, I had a “stay at home” mom which I am very thankful for but I think that the decision is completely personal and should be given much thought. I found the guidelines and common challenges really intuitive and helpful. Every woman should consider these options before having a child. Also it was interesting to consider what everyday life would be like if a person did consider to have a child.
Considering the question “What does it mean to be a mother in today’s world?” This quote from the book is important to think about. How do the women manage with their schedules and taking care of themselves and another person?