EFFECTIVE LISTENING SKILLS NACM Western Region Credit Conference Las Vegas, NV October 6, 2006 Mark D. Carlos President www.mcsideas.com

Effective Listening Skills What is Listening? a gift ( of TIME ) a master skill

What is Listening?

a gift ( of TIME )

a master skill

Barriers to Listening Takes time Takes a clear mind Emotional state Bias or prejudice Semantics & languages Noise & verbal “clutter” Boredom Shrinking attention span

Takes time

Takes a clear mind

Emotional state

Bias or prejudice

Semantics & languages

Noise & verbal “clutter”

Boredom

Shrinking attention span

Listening Tips Eye Contact Relaxed attention Open mind Word pictures No interruptions / solutions Wait for pauses to ask Q’s Ask relevant Q’s only Feel the speaker’s feelings Give feedback Think about what’s NOT said

Eye Contact

Relaxed attention

Open mind

Word pictures

No interruptions / solutions

Wait for pauses to ask Q’s

Ask relevant Q’s only

Feel the speaker’s feelings

Give feedback

Think about what’s NOT said

Feedback Skills Listen “out loud” by: Offering verbal cues Relevant questions Paraphrasing statements Reflections Affirmations Offering non-verbal cues Smiles and frowns Hand & body gestures Eye contact / movements

Listen “out loud” by:

Offering verbal cues

Relevant questions

Paraphrasing statements

Reflections

Affirmations

Offering non-verbal cues

Smiles and frowns

Hand & body gestures

Eye contact / movements

Types of Feedback Compliments Confrontation Criticism

Compliments

Confrontation

Criticism

Perceptual Skills Visual perceptions include: Motor Focus on foreground Discrimination Memory Closure Tracking Integration Language Association Language Classification

Visual perceptions include:

Motor

Focus on foreground

Discrimination

Memory

Closure

Tracking

Integration

Language Association

Language Classification

Perceptual Skills Auditory Perception includes: Discrimination Closure Memory Visual Integration Focus on foreground Integration Language Association Language Classification Visual Coordination

Auditory Perception includes:

Discrimination

Closure

Memory

Visual Integration

Focus on foreground

Integration

Language Association

Language Classification

Visual Coordination

Interpreting Information Open-Mindedness is VITAL Review of goals, basis or premise Organize the data into logical groups Categories Chronological Measurements

Open-Mindedness is VITAL

Review of goals, basis or premise

Organize the data into logical groups

Categories

Chronological

Measurements

Why People React Negatively Rejection Denial Ignoring Defensiveness Yes, but…. Anger Withdrawal Passivity Aggression Fake Agreement

Rejection

Denial

Ignoring

Defensiveness

Yes, but….

Anger

Withdrawal

Passivity

Aggression

Fake Agreement

Increasing Awareness of Varying Points of View Not everyone sees the sky as blue - not as you do Not blue at all Not the same blue Not all blue Not just blue

Not everyone sees the sky as blue - not as you do

Not blue at all

Not the same blue

Not all blue

Not just blue

The Importance of Suspending Value Judgments - Waiting for More Information Allow yourself to absorb an entire thought or series of thoughts Arrive at conclusions naturally and gracefully Don’t jump to conclusions too soon

Allow yourself to absorb an entire thought or series of thoughts

Arrive at conclusions naturally and gracefully

Don’t jump to conclusions too soon

Learning Semantic Flexibility – The Impact on the Thinking Process Table How many legs? What kind of wood or metal? What size? Dog What size and weight? What color? A pet or a trained purpose?

Table

How many legs?

What kind of wood or metal?

What size?

Dog

What size and weight?

What color?

A pet or a trained purpose?

Thinking Strategically Motivation + Audience + Description ---------------------- Effective Communication

Motivation

+ Audience

+ Description

----------------------

Effective Communication

EFFECTIVE LISTENING SKILLS Takes Commitment and Practice www.mcsideas.com