• Share
  • Email
  • Embed
  • Like
  • Save
  • Private Content
Drevelyn matilda minor gift to our global children~june 1 2011.Etiquette and Manners
 

Drevelyn matilda minor gift to our global children~june 1 2011.Etiquette and Manners

on

  • 1,621 views

Drevelyn matilda minor gift to our global children~june 1 2011, Etiquette and Manners

Drevelyn matilda minor gift to our global children~june 1 2011, Etiquette and Manners

Statistics

Views

Total Views
1,621
Views on SlideShare
1,621
Embed Views
0

Actions

Likes
2
Downloads
28
Comments
0

0 Embeds 0

No embeds

Accessibility

Categories

Upload Details

Uploaded via as Adobe PDF

Usage Rights

© All Rights Reserved

Report content

Flagged as inappropriate Flag as inappropriate
Flag as inappropriate

Select your reason for flagging this presentation as inappropriate.

Cancel
  • Full Name Full Name Comment goes here.
    Are you sure you want to
    Your message goes here
    Processing…
Post Comment
Edit your comment

    Drevelyn matilda minor gift to our global children~june 1 2011.Etiquette and Manners Drevelyn matilda minor gift to our global children~june 1 2011.Etiquette and Manners Presentation Transcript

    • Introductions Handshaking/Conversation Tips................... 57Table of Contents What to Talk About........................................................................ 59 Communication Barriers .............................................................. 60At Home............................................................................................... 3 Choices We Make............................................................................ 61At School .............................................................................................. 5 Parents/Caregivers......................................................................... 63Restaurant Manners ........................................................................ 6 Tough Subjects ................................................................................ 63Social Etiquette Celebrations ........................................................ 7 Alcohol ~ Drugs ~ Smoking .................................................. 63National Anthem .............................................................................. 9 Choices and Consequences ........................................................... 63Table Graces ...................................................................................... 9 Achieving Your Goals .................................................................... 65Familiar Graces ................................................................................ 9 Your Financial Budget .................................................................. 66Formal Dining ................................................................................. 10 Glossary ............................................................................................ 67Seven Course Meals ....................................................................... 14Host Role…………………………………………………………..15Tea Party Etiquette........................................................................ 17Formal Dining ................................................................................. 23Healthy Eating................................................................................ 25How to Eat To Live......................................................................... 26Fun Food Facts................................................................................ 28Telephone Etiquette....................................................................... 30Cell Phone Etiquette...................................................................... 31Email Etiquette............................................................................... 32Your Child’s School ........................................................................ 34University/College .......................................................................... 36High Expectations and Enrollment Tips................................... 36Fashion Tips for Women ............................................................... 38Fashion & Accessory Tips............................................................. 38Professional Attire.......................................................................... 43Business Casual Attire for Women............................................. 43Personal Grooming......................................................................... 45Business Attire for Men ................................................................ 46Business Casual Attire for Men .................................................. 47Employment..................................................................................... 50Resumé Writing Tips ..................................................................... 50Sample Job Application................................................................. 52Personal Check List ....................................................................... 54Job Interview Tips.......................................................................... 55 1
    • BASIC MANNERS Introduction Character & Life My goal is to teach students a good set of healthy values, respect Skills should be taught from for human life, and a respect for education and the ability to excel early childhood through every in school. I also would like to have an impact on increasing overall level in school. Grandparents academic achievement; reducing the placement of students in no longer live next door and special education classes; reducing suspensions and expulsions; parents are working. Years reducing dropout rates for students; increasing the graduation rate ago, African American and college attendance of students; increasing the rate of class churches assisted parents in attendance; increasing parent, family and community involvement teaching their children proper and support; and increasing self-esteem and student achievement. social skills. But, we have We all like to think that we have good manners or great social dropped the ball! Let’s pick up skills. In reality, very few of us exercise these as a regular habit. the ball, take it to the In fact, many of us interact in society without ever having learned classrooms, and bring it back the proper social skills. As we deal with others in our daily lives, it into our churches. is not difficult to observe that many of us ignore the most basic manners of social correctness. In order to be self-motivated and toI have written and self published several simple but powerful increase confidence and self-esteem, you need to be mentally andbooks for parents and our children. My goal is to prepare students emotionally balanced. One way to achieve this balance is by usingand parents to live and work in a world that is highly technical good manners and social grace (etiquette), and you will experienceand diverse. They will have learned the Proper Social Skills success in all environments. Good manners and behavior defineneeded to interact in our diverse society. Students and their the caliber of who we are regardless of our income, race, degree ofparents will have learned how to combine social skills with string formal education, or career.educational practice. A person with good manners shows the world who he or she is,The lessons in this guide book are designed to help you fit in including tastes, opinions, friends, quality of life, and self-respect.anywhere. After reading this book, you will enhance the social Drevelyn Matilda Minor, Authorskills you have already acquired. This book will increase yoursocial awareness, with very simple instructions. Learning socialskills is the key to being able to express acceptable behavior.Education is the key to success in life. Etiquette is basically goodmanners! The best etiquette is based on “The Golden Rule,” that is,treat others as you want them to treat you.While working for many years in the San Francisco Unified SchoolDistrict, I found that the majority of students in public and someprivate schools, junior colleges, and universities lack theunderstanding, training, and experience of good social skills /etiquette. This creates an insecurity and reluctance to blend withvarious societies. 2
    • workers, teachers, peers, strangers, Hygiene and virtually everyone you come inAt Home contact with. The greatest attributes Brush Your Teeth Twice a Day of social acceptance, is the ability to converse.Early Childhood Some important words to use in yourDevelopment daily life are Please Thank you! You’re Welcome Bathe or Shower regularly. I Apologize Good morning – Greet family members, house guests and anyoneFirst Teachers – Parents and you might come in contact with atGrandparents church, school, etc.Grandparents can assist your parentswith your development of great social Apply the same rule to the afternoonskills. Remember, in most cases they and evening.taught your parents. Good night -- Before going to bed sayCharacter Building “good night,” to family members or Don’t forget to say your prayers beforeA grandparent might reinforce what any guest who might be visiting your going to bed.your parents taught you during your home.early years to ensure proper behaviorin your daily life.The Golden Rule“Do unto others, as you would likeothers to do unto you.”Everyone is to be treated with respectand courtesy. This golden rule appliesto all family members, friends, co- 3
    • Responsibilities at Home parents around the house willingly daily. Sleepwear: Boys and quickly. should have pajamas, a robe and slippers. Meal Times: Volunteer on special Closing Doors: Hold the door occasions to help parents and Girls should have knob and shut it softly rather than grandparents prepare the meals. At pajamas, nightgowns, a letting it slam shut. other times, offer to set the table or dorobe and slippers. other things that might be needed for Knock softly and ask permission a family meal.Daywear: Place your clothing out each before entering other family member’snight before you go to bed. Arrange bedrooms.outfits by them together. Do not placeyour clothing on the floor. Laundry: Put your dirty clothes in your laundry basket or laundry bag. Wash your dirty laundry and put away your cleanclothes in drawers or on hangers Yard Work: Help your parents withHousework: Volunteer to help your yard work and take out the trash 4
    • If you need extra help with math, reading, science or any other subject, ask your teachers for information onAt School after-school tutorial sites and Saturday schools.Be On Time for Your Class! Also, ask about after-school and tutorial programs at your place of worship. Classmate Party Invitations Student Questions in Class You must follow the If you have a question, school’s policy for raise your hand and wait extending invitations.This is the first sign of good classroom for the teacher to call your If you pass yourmanners. name. invitations out at school, it is polite toIf you are sick and unable to attend Don’t place your feet on invite all of your classmates. (If youschool, have your parent or guardian the furniture at school exclude some of your classmates, somecontact the school secretary first thing or at home. students’ feelings might be hurt.)in the morning. If you ONLY want to invite a smallBut if you’re late to class, enter the Home Work Assignments group from your class, (Girls Only “or”classroom quietly and gently close the Boys Only) give them the invitationsdoor. Be considerate of other students Do your homework after school, or have your parents mailand the teacher. daily and turn it an invitation to their home. in on time. You can do your homework You can also contact them by phone to during free time at school, on invite them. the bus, in the car or at home. 5
    • Good Sportsmanship dining experience for other patrons, soAfter playing a sport or a game, if you bring your child to dine out,congratulate the other players on their make sure they are behaving properly.playing ability and let them know thatyou enjoyed playing with them. 1. Use a fork unless eating finger food.Good Sportsmanship is considered 2. Do not stuff your mouth full of 9. Break off a small piece of your fitting for playing or food because it doesn’t look good dinner roll before buttering it. watching sports. This and because you could choke. 10. Do not pick anything out of your includes observing the 3. Chew with your mouth closed. teeth at the table. If it bothers rules of fair play, respect for No one should see food chewed you, excuse yourself and go to others, and being gracious in up or to have to listen to it being the restroom. losing. chewed. This means no talking 11. Use a napkin to “dab” your with your mouth full. mouth. The napkin should be on 4. Eat slowly. Wait a few seconds your lap when not in use.Restaurant Manners before getting another fork full. 12. Do not wipe or blow your nose 5. Do not reach over someone’s with your napkin.Twelve Dining Tips for Parents plate for any other item on theand Children table. Ask someone to pass the Public Dining with Friends item to you. 6. Do not make any rude comments about any food served in the restaurant. It will hurt Do not send a dish someone’s feelings. back unless it is 7. Always say “Thank You” when really inedible--not just because you served something. changed your mind. When leaving the 8. For buffet style meals – wait table, put your chair under the table. until everyone is served before starting to eat. Do not drum your fingers on the table, pick your teeth, comb your hair, orIt is never too early to start teaching polish your nails.good restaurant manners to children.Poorly behaved children can ruin the 6
    • benediction at a house of worship or at Never chew gum, do not smack, rattleSocial Etiquette large gatherings. Whether or not you gum or candy wrappers, or talk loudlyCelebrations believe in God, bow your head and while visiting or sitting next to people remain silent for the duration of the at the theater, at a concert, or in aBirthdays prayer. house of worship. Be considerate of the performers and museum guides. Religious Ceremonies Parents, attending Public LibraryFirst religious ceremonies Treat books withCommunion must understand that the the greatest ceremonies are an respect. Never important and joyful tradition for mark in them families. However, you should find and always other activities for children who are too return them on young to sit comfortably, quietly and time. still throughout the services, thus respecting the house of worship, the Public Elevator clergy, and the other attendees.Bar Mitzvah Public Manners Museum/Theatre/Concert Who gets on or off an elevator first? The person who reaches the elevator first or is closestHouse of Worship to the door – regardless ofA request to bow your head is asked ofyou most of the time for a moment of gender, enters or exits theprayer, for an invocation, or for the elevator first. 7
    • Good Neighbors Sneezing in Public Welcome new Federal Buildings neighbors to your When you sneeze or Hats or Caps neighborhood. cough, cover your nose and mouth with a soft tissue or handkerchief, using your left hand. This will leave your Always ask for right hand clean for hand shaking, permission Men and boys should remove their opening doors, etc. before walking or hats or caps when entering all federal After sneezing it is polite and playing in a buildings. appropriate to excuse yourself, just by neighbor’s yard saying, “Excuse me,” to the person nextor on your neighbor’s property. Public Transportation to you after coughing or sneezing in both social and professional situations.Dallas Texas When you have a coldCitizenship or the flu, you should also wash your hands often Keep your feet out of the public or carry a small passageway, so you will not trip bottle of hand sanitizer. people. Say, “Excuse me” or “pardon me” when trying to go passed another Never spit in public! person. Always offer your seat to elders and people with a disability. If someone near you drops something, Public MarketTrash the Trash - Keep your pick it up and hand it over to him or Do not cheat in line.city beautiful by using her.the public trash can. If you have 14 items inAlways place your your shopping cart, and thetrash in a trash can supermarket is packed, you should not(not on city streets). race to the 10 items express lane. 8
    • National Anthem The lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner O Lord, we pray thy blessings, were written by Francis Scott Key, and upon this food and upon our souls. Guide us through life and save us through the music by John Stafford Smith. AWhen the National Anthem is played, Christ. Congressional resolution made it theyou must stand up and sing. Men and Amen. National Anthem in 1931.boys should remove their hats.There are four verses to the anthem, Blessing for a Christian Homebut it is the first verse that is usually Table Graces In Christian homes the father or mothersung. There are also state songs for usually says grace, although occasionally aeach of the fifty states as well. Familiar Graces child is asked to say it. Family grace is said either with everyone standing or with everyone seated with bowed heads.National Anthem Lyrics Oh, say can you Our Father in Heaven, for this mealsee by the dawn’s early light what so you have given we want to say thank youproudly we hailed at the twilight’s last Many households observe the tradition of from our hearts. Bless the ones whogleaming? pausing before a meal to give thanks for prepared it and Lord as we share it willWhose broad stripes and bright stars the food on their table and other good you stay with us and be our guest ofthru the perilous fight, o’er the things in their lives. Grace should be said Honor.ramparts we watched were so gallantly first and nothing should be touched on the Amen.streaming? And the rocket’s red glare, table beforehand not even the water glassesthe bombs bursting in air, gave proof or the napkins. Thank you, Lord, for this food which isthru the night that our flag was still set before us. May we use it to nourish ourthere Oh, say does that Star Spangled Simple Guest Grace bodies, and thee to nourish our souls? O Lord, forgive us our sins and bless Make us ever more mindful of the needs ofBanner yet wave o’er the land of the others, and the needs of our planet. these refreshments in Christ’s name.free and the home of the brave? Amen Through Christ Our Lord, Amen 9
    • Around this happy table may no evil ever The Menucome, let health, peace and happinessmake up our daily sum. Formal Dining If, after looking over the dinner menu, there are items you are uncertain about, ask questions about them. It isChildren’s Prayers better to find out what is in the dishChildren treat grace as an opportunity to before you start placing it on yourtalk about their concerns. It gives us all a plate. It could be something you do notchance to show how we can communicatewith God. like or to which you are allergic. AvoidGod is great, God is good spending the entire meal pickingLet us thank him for our food tentatively at your food.by his hands, we are fedLet us thank him for our bread First Person ServedAmen. The host serves the guest of honor (Fe- male) first and then proceeds counterThank you for the world so sweet, clockwise around the table.Thank you for the food we eat,Thank you for the birds that sing, Last Person ServedThank you, God, for everything.Amen. She serves her husband next to last and herself last.Catholic Grace When should children begin eating? Children eating alone with their parents should wait until their parents begin eating before picking up their soupspoon or fork.Give us grateful hearts, O Father, for allthy mercies, and make us mindful of the Serving Directionsneeds of others, through Jesus Christ our Serve and remove all dishes from theLord. Amen. “LEFT.”Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts,which we are about to receive from Thy Serve all beverages from the “RIGHT.”bounty, through Christ Our Lord. Table manners play an important part inAmen. making a favorable impression. Our manners can speak volumes about us as professionals. 10
    • Eating SoupPassing Food at the Table Table Conversation Dip the spoon into the soup, moving it away from the body, until itFood should be passed to the right, or is about two thirdscounter clockwise. If you need full. Sip thesomething that you cannot reach liquid from theeasily, politely ask the person closest side of the spoon.to the item you need to pass it to you.For example, “After you’ve used them Do not slurp soup fromyourself, would you please pass me the Engage in table conversation that is a spoon. Spoon the soup away from yousalt and pepper?” pleasant but entirely free of controversial when you take it out of the bowl and subjects. sip it from the side of the spoon. If yourSeasoning Your Food soup is too hot, let it sit until it cools; Proper Table Posture do not blow on it. Do not season your food before you have Chewing Foodtasted it! The host /chef will be Do not chew your food with youroffended by your actions – especially if mouth open or make loud noises whileyou have not tasted the dish. you are eating. Although it is possible Hunching - Never HUNCH over your to talk with a small piece of food inBread or Rolls dinner plate! Proper posture at the table is your mouth, do not talk with your very important. Sit up straight, with your mouth filled with food. arms held near your body. You should neither lean on the back of the chair nor bend forward to place the elbows on the table. Contrary to Removing Bad Tasting Food popular belief, elbows on the table are Never spit a piece of bad food or toughEat rolls or bread by tearing off small acceptable between courses or after everyone gristle into your napkin! Remove thebite size pieces and buttering only the has finished eating. food from your mouth using the samepiece you are preparing to eat. When It is permissible to lean forward slightly every utensil you used to place it in yourready for another piece, repeat the now and then and press the elbows very lightly mouth. Place the piece of food on thesame process. against the edge of the table, if it is obvious edge of your plate. If possible, cover it. that you are not using them for support. 11
    • Food Caught Between Teeth Drinking Beverages The salad fork is on your outermostIf food is caught between your teeth left, followed by your dinner fork.and you cannot remove it with yourtongue, leave the table and go to the Wipe your mouth with Your soup spoon is on your outermostrestroom where you can remove the your napkin after eating right, followed by your beverage spoon,food from your teeth. off your plate. Do not salad knife and dinner knife. take a sip of any beverage Your dessert spoon and fork are aboveLeaving the Table at the table until your mouth is empty your plate or brought out with dessert.You should not leave the table during and wiped with your napkin. You needthe meal except in an emergency! to keep the rim of your glass or cup Use a knife and fork to cut and eatSimply excuse yourself from the table free from food marks. your food. On your plate cut your foodif you must go to the bathroom or if by holding the knife in the right handyou suddenly become sick. Later you and the fork in the left hand with the fork tines piercing the food.can apologize to the host by sayingthat you did not feel well. Silverware & Napkin Etiquette Cut a few bite-size pieces of food, andLeft-Handed Person then lay your knife across the top edgeIf you or someone you are dining with of your plate with the sharp edge of theis left-handed, it is best for the left- knife blade facing you.handed person to sit at the left end ofthe table or at the head of the table. Change your fork from your left to yourThis arrangement helps ensure that Choosing the correct silverware from right hand to eat, fork tines facing up.everyone has adequate elbow room to the variety in front of you is not as If, you are left-handed, keep your forkeat comfortably. difficult as it may first appear. in your left hand, tines facing up Remember the rule to work from the If a piece of your silverware falls ontoSpilling Food off Your Plate outside in, and you will be fine. Work the floor, pick it up if you can reach itIf food spills off your plate, you may your way in, using one utensil for each and simply and quietly request a cleanpick it up with a piece of your course. Starting with the knife, fork, or replacement.silverware and place it on the edge of spoon that is farthest from your plate,your plate. if you skip the first course, skip the first fork. 12
    • The napkin remains on your lap throughout the entire meal and is used gently to blot your mouth when If you have to leave the needed.table temporarily, place your fork over If you need to leave the table duringyour knife in an inverted “V.” This the meal, fold your napkin and place itwill let the server know you are not back to the left hand side of your plate. Communicationquite finished with your meal. The host will signal the end of the The more you communicate to the meal by placing his or her napkin on waitperson, the better he or she will beOnce you have used a piece of the table. able to serve you. If you are displeasedsilverware, never place it back on the When you leave the table at the end of with the dining experience in any way,table. Leave unused silverware on the the meal place your napkin loosely it is up to you to calmly and politelytable. Do not leave a used spoon in a next to your plate. (Do not refold your articulate that to the waitperson, hostcup, either; place it in the saucer. You napkin, but do not wad it up, either.) or manager so they can have ancan leave a soup spoon in a soup bowl. Do not leave your napkin on your opportunity to fix the problem. chair. If you do not say anything and just wait until the end of the meal to leaveNapkin a substandard tip, the waitpersonEtiquette Fine Dining won’t know what went wrong. Tipping Five Standard Tip: 15-20% of a checkPlace your napkin on your lap, Restaurants Increase Tip: 20-25%completely unfolded. The Host is the Restaurant Greeter Waitperson went to any length toA large dinner napkin should be folded who is in charge of the dining room. make you happyin half after opening and before placingon your lap. No Tip: The Wait Staff Only in extreme cases should a tipTypically, you want to put your napkin The waitperson will serve your meal or never be given. Poor Service:on your lap soon after sitting down at any selections from the menu. inattentive – forgetful – rude –the table (but follow your host’s lead). careless. 13
    • FOURTH COURSE SIXTH COURSESeven Course Meals DessertFIRST COURSEAppetizer If the appetizer is Except for the water andseafood cocktail, a small fork is placed champagne glass, each place setting isto the right of the soup spoon. The Meat A large completely cleared away from thecocktail fork will be the only fork that dinner or entrée plate follows once the table. A dessert plate is normallywill ever be placed to the right of the server has removed the fishplate, fish brought to the table; the dessert spoondinner plate. fork and knife. Normally, red wine is and fork are placed above the main served with this course. place setting.SECOND COURSE FIFTH COURSE Finger Bowl Salad Use for washing your fingertipsSoup After the appetizer, On the other hand, dessert can becomes the soup bowl, which is placed served with the finger bowl. A fingeron a service plate. Once you finish bowl comes with an under plate andyour soup, the service plate, soup bowl, doily. The bowl contains warm watersoupspoon and sherry glass will be with a lemon slice. Once you haveremoved. washed your fingertips, the finger bowl is placed to the left. The server willTHIRD COURSE remove the bowl then serve the dessert. In European dining, the salad course is served last; Americans normally SEVENTH COURSEFish Entrée A small plate serve this course after the soup.replaces the service plate. The outer Both the salad plate and salad knifeutensils are used. The bread plate is to and fork are smaller than the other Coffee or Tea A coffee or teathe left with a butter spreader. utensils. cup and saucer is brought to the table and coffee or tea is served once dessert is served. 14
    • minutes and then decide whether you If you are running late, let theHost Role want to eat alone or leave. If you leave, restaurant know of your late arrival. you should leave a message with the Hopefully, they will be able to fit youRestaurant Dining restaurant host and tip the waiter. in.Business Meetings You can make menu suggestions to Gentlemen – it is appropriate to hold your guests, and if they order an the chair and seat the woman on your As a host, appetizer or soup, do likewise. right. you should clarify your You are responsible for initiating Always speak softly when eating out role. business talk. If it is a breakfast meal, and never snap your fingers at the Choose an keep social conversation to a server! appropriate minimum. If it is a lunch meal, you can restaurant converse until orders are taken, but When the server is ready to take your and make then get down to business. If it is a order, and you have not made a reservations. dinner meal, business may or may not decision about what to order, ask theIf you are confirming for a breakfast, be discussed. If spouses/partners are server to return in a few minutes.you should do so the afternoon before included, never talk business.lunch. If, after looking over the menu, there Do not make a big production about are items you are uncertain about, askIf you are confirming for a dinner, you the bill. It is best if you give your your server any questions you mayshould do so that morning before the credit card to the waitperson before the have. Answering your questions is partafternoon of the dinner. meal so that the bill never comes to the of the server’s job. It is better to find table. out before you order what is in a dish.Please arrive early and wait by the It could be something you do not like ordoor for your guests. If you are seated, Always phone in advance for a to which you are allergic. You don’torder water or a soft beverage, but reservation and be on time. want to spend the entire meal pickingdon’t begin eating the bread. at your food. If you need to cancel your reservationIf your guests are over 15-20 minutes try to notify the restaurant within 24 In a restaurant, women’s orders arelate, you should call and tell them that hours of your cancellation. taken before the men’s.you are waiting. Wait five or ten more 15
    • An employer will generally suggest When leaving the table, always say Sharing Foods – Yes, it isthat your order be taken first; his or excuse me to others at the table, fold appropriate to share when others ather order will be taken last. your napkin neatly and place it to the the table are also willing to share. left of your dinner plate. However, always request additionalAs a guest, you should not order one of small plates and clean utensils forthe most expensive items on the menu Not Finished dividing the shared food.or more than two courses unless yourhost indicates that it is all right. When entertaining a guest for dinner If you do not want the or cocktails, the person who extendedIf the host says, “I’m going to try this waitperson to remove your plate from the invitation (regardless of gender) isdelicious sounding cheesecake; why the table, place your knife and fork in responsible for the bill.don’t you try dessert too,” or “The an inverted “V” on your dinner plate.prime rib is the specialty here” I think Place the fork over the knife with the Sneezing or Blowing Your Nose –you’d enjoy it, then it is all right to “Prongs” pointing down. Excuse yourself from the table, and doorder the item if you would like it for not use your napkin as a handkerchief. Finishyour meal. When you finish your meal place the Guest RoleIt is best to order food that can be knife and fork parallel to one another Be on time. Call if you will be late.eaten with a fork and knife. Finger across your plate with the knife bladefoods can be messy and are best left for facing inward toward you. Your knife Allow the host to lead and never fightinformal dining. and fork should be positioned at ten over the bill. o’clock to four o’clock.It is inappropriate to ask for a doggy Always be courteous and thank thebag when you are a guest. Save the Social Setting - it is always host.doggy bag for informal dining. appropriate for a male to stand when a female is leaving the table. Keep your briefcase and/or purse offDo not order alcoholic beverages. the table.Drinking too much when dining out is Business Setting – it is not alwaysone of the most disliked behaviors. necessary for a male to rise whenever Ladies - always go to the bathroom to his female coworker(s) leave the table. apply your make-up or fix your hair.Do not smoke while dining out. Never do it at the table. 16
    • The menu has also changed from Turn off your cellular phone during a Tea Party Etiquette tea, bread, butter and cakes, to business meeting. include three particular courses served specifically in this order: Never correct others’ manners. Savories Tiny sandwiches or Ten Commandments for Business appetizers Meals Scones served with jam and I. Thou shall not jump straight into Devonshire or business talk Clotted Cream II. Thou shall not be late If the host pours your cup half full with Pastries Cakes, cookies, III. Thou shall not table hop tea – that is a sign that they wish for shortbread and IV. Thou shall not talk policies, diets, you to stay a while longer. A full cup of sweets or about family tea poured by the host indicates a wish V. Thou shall not dominate the for you to leave. Since it is a tea party, it is okay to eat conversation with fingers. However, if an item is VI. Thou shall not dawdle over There are three basic types of particularly messy (has a runny ordering or eating Afternoon or Low Tea: filling), use a fork. VII. Thou shall not drink too much alcohol Cream Tea Tea, scones, jam and If all the courses are laid out on theVIII. Thou shall not fight over who cream table, you should eat them in this pays the bill. Light Tea Tea, scones and order: IX. Thou shall not neglect thy table sweets First: Scones or Muffins manners. Full Tea Tea, savories, Second: Tiny Sandwiches X. Thou shall not forget to show scones, sweets and Third: Sweets – Pastries appreciation dessert Think of it like a meal where you can In England, the traditional time start with bread, then have the main for tea was 4 or 5 o’clock and no course, but save the dessert for last. one stayed after 7 p.m. Most For scones or muffins, break off a bite- tearooms today serve tea from 3 size piece, then put a small amount of to 5 o’clock. 17
    • jam or butter on it. If Devonshire or individual tea bags, which can get very Pinky – Fingerclotted cream is available, a small messy, especially with children.amount can be dabbed on after the When using tea bags at a tea party,jam. This thick cream is for scones, always have a small dish at your placenot for the tea. setting on which your guest can place Do not extend your pinky the used tea bag. out when drinking tea.Take bites of the tiny sandwiches. Just hold the teacupNever stuff the whole thing in yourmouth, even though it is small. Tea Cup Etiquette normally. Hold the cup lightly, byIf using sugar, do not dip the sugar the handle - your pinky does nottong or sugar spoon into your teacup. have to be extended. (Contrary to(I recommend using sugar cubes.) popular belief, the ring and pinkieStir sugar and/or milk with your fingers should not be extended, butteaspoon, and then place the teaspoon should rest by curving gently backon your saucer. Pick up your cup and saucer together toward your wrist.) holding the saucer in one hand andWhen drinking the tea, you can hold cup in the other. Stirring Your Tea When stirringthe cup and saucer near your chest your tea, do not make clinking noisesthen take the teacup off the saucer and Hold the saucer under your cup by the sides of the cup while stirring.bring it up to your mouth to drink. while you sip your tea (so you don’t Gently swish the tea back and forth spill it or dribble). being careful not to touch the sides ofIf the tea is hot, do not blow on the tea. your cup if possible. Never leave yourLeave your teacup on the table to cool. The best way to hold a teacup is to spoon in the cup and be sure not to slip your index finger through the sip your tea from the spoon. AfterMessy Tea Bags handle, up to almost the first stirring, place your spoon quietly on knuckle, then balance and secure the the saucer, behind the cup, on the cup by placing your thumb on the top right hand side under the handle. of the handle and allowing theHopefully, the tea will be served from bottom of the handle to rest on yourthe teapot, rather than having middle finger. 18
    • Milk – Not Cream Tea Party Menu Quick Breads & Scones (TEA SANDWICHES) Muffins ~ Apricot and White Chocolate Scones ~ BestServe milk with tea. Please do not use Blueberry Muffins ~ Cherry Scones ~cream. Cream is too heavy and masks Date Drop Scones ~ Orange Poppythe taste of the tea. Although some Seed Bread ~ Scones ~ Mincemeatpeople pour their milk into the cup Nut Bread ~ Vanilla Bean Loaves ~first, it is probably better to pour the Chicken Curry ~Cucumber Mint Wonderful Scones ~ Zucchini Breadmilk in the tea after it is in the cup in ~Carrot-Ginger ~ Cucumber-Goatorder to get the correct amount. Cheese and Watercress ~Putting on Spreads & Toppings the Ritz Egg Salad ~ Radish PoppyTea Party Menu Seed Tea Sandwiches ~ Spring Radish Tea SandwichesLemon Slices–Not Wedges Radish Sandwiches on Zucchini Basil Muffins Lavender Jelly Lemon Curd When serving lemon with Mock Devonshire Creamtea, use lemon slices, not wedges.Provide a small fork or lemon fork for Dessertsyour guests or the tea server can Smokedneatly place a slice in the teacup after Salmon Sandwich on Cake ~ Pies ~ Cookies ~ Boccone Dolcethe tea has been poured. Be sure never Pumpernickel. (Sweet Mouthful) ~ Cranberry Tartletto add lemon with milk since the ~ English Trifle ~ Fresh Strawberrieslemon’s citric acid will cause the Dipped in Chocolate ~ High Tea Lemonproteins in the milk to curdle. Cookies ~ Lavender Tea Cookies 19
    • Finger Foods Hors d’Oeuvres, Crudités CookiesArtichoke It is never necessary Canapés, To eat it, pull off a leaf, dip it, to try to eat the Almost everything that is served at ascrape the flesh from the base cookie that comes as a garnish to your cocktail party or during a pre-mealof the leaf with your top teeth, dessert with a spoon. Unless the cocktail hour is intended to be eatenand discard the leaf on the plate cookie has fallen so far into the with the fingers. Some of these foodsprovided for that purpose. chocolate sauce that there is not a make appearances at regular meals asAsparagus clean corner by which to pick it up. well (although not usually in very formal ones). When they do, it is still Corn on the Cob permissible to use the fingers to eat Asparagus may be It is unlikely that it will them. This includes olives, pickles,eaten with the fingers as long as it is be served at a formal nuts, deviled eggs, and chips.not covered with sauce. It is fine to event, but if you encounter corn on theuse a fork and knife to eat asparagus. cob, it may be picked up and eaten. Small Fruits and Berries on The approved method of doing so is to StemsBread butter one or two rows at a time and to Bread must always be eat across the cob cleanly. broken, never cut with a knife. Tear off a piece that French Fries, Fried Chicken,is no bigger than two bites worth and Chips, and Hamburgereat that before tearing off another. If These items (also classified as fastbutter is provided, then butter the foods will not be served in a formalsmall piece and eat it. setting. Most are eaten with the hands, although a particularly messyBacon hamburger could be eaten with a forkWhen bacon is cooked until it is very and knife. Also, steak fries (the thick- If you are served strawberries with thecrisp, and there is no danger of getting cut, less crispy variety) may be best hulls, on, cherries with stems or grapesthe fingers wet with grease, it is okay eaten with a fork. in a bunch, then it is okay to eat themto pick it up to eat. with your fingers. Otherwise, as with 20
    • all berries, the utensil of choice is aspoon. In the case of grapes, you mayencounter a special scissors, to cut off asmall cluster from the bunch. If not,tear a portion from the whole, ratherthan plucking off single grapes, whichleaves a cluster of unattractive barestems on the serving platter.Straightforward SandwichesThe straightforward sandwich is anysandwich that is not open-faced, nottoo tall to fit in the mouth, notsaturated with dripping sauces orloaded with mushy filling. It isintended to be picked up and eaten.Otherwise, use a fork and knife. 21
    • Basic Table Setting1. Server Plate (will be replaced with a Dinner Plate) is 7. Dinner Fork is placed to the LEFT side of the DINNERplaced on table allowing about two feet for each person and in PLATEthe CENTER of the space 8. Dinner Knife Placed at the RIGHT of the DINNER2. Soup Bowl Placed in the CENTER PLATE3. Salad Plate to the LEFT of the dinner plate just above 9. Beverage Spoon Placed on the right hand side to thethe NAPKIN and SALAD FORK RIGHT of the DINNER KNIFE4. Dinner Roll Plate and Butter Spreader (on top of the 10. Soup Spoon Placed at the RIGHT of the DINNERbread plate) – Place just above the DINNER PLATE, a little to SPOON (If serving soup)the left 11. Beverage Glasses (Water) Placed to the RIGHT hand5. Place napkin to the LEFT side of the SALAD FORK side starting at the TIP of the KNIFE.with the INSIDE FOLD facing the DINNER PLATE 12. Beverage Glasses (Milk or Juice) Placed to the RIGHT6. Salad Fork is placed on the LEFT HAND side of the hand side of the WATER GLASSDinner Plate 22
    • fairly easy to master. Your waiter will fill the glasses in theFormal Dining correct order. When each course is finished, allow the server to remove the glass for that course as well as the plate. Beverage Glasses Positions (minimum of five glasses) Sherry or Aperitif Glass The glass farthest to the right may be a sherry or aperitif glass, if one is served to accompany the soup course. This will be the first glass you use. White Wine Glass Next is the white wine glass, which is used during the fish course or appetizer. Red Wine Glass Behind the white wine glass is the red wine glass. This glass is larger, with a fuller bowl that allows the red wine to “breathe.”Rules: In a formal place setting, the first two rules toremember are: Water Goblet 1) Solids are to the LEFT (Yes, your bread plate to the The largest glass is the water goblet, which sits just above the left) dinner knife. 2) Liquids to the RIGHT Champagne GlassUtensils are placed in the order used. You always work Finally, behind and to the right of the water goblet is thefrom the “outside in” as the meal progresses. champagne glass, if champagne will accompany dessert.Beverage Glasses You may also find a champagne glass in the first position,Formal meals normally have a minimum of five glasses at the perhaps served with oysters as an appetizer.table. Each glass is slightly different in shape and size. This is 23
    • Formal Dining Table Setting1) Server Plate ( Replaced with a Dinner Plate) 13) Small Cocktail Fork- placed to the right of the soup2) Soup Bowl spoon. (This cocktail fork will be the ONLY fork that will3) Salad Plate ever be to the right.)4) Bread & Butter Plate 14) Dessert Spoon & Fork5) Napkin 15) Water Goblet6) Fish Fork 16) Champagne Glass7) Salad Fork 17) Red Wine Goblet8) Dinner Fork 18) White Wine Goblet9) Dinner Knife 19) Sherry Glass10) Fish Knife 20) Coffee or Tea Setting (Placed on the table at end of11) Beverage Spoon meal, often with the desserts.)12) Soup Spoon 24
    • 2. Exercise Regularly the escalator or elevator. Try to doHealthy Eating these things for a total of 30 minutesPhysical Fitness Work up a good every day. sweat. When you are 4. Snack SmartBreakfast Brain breathingPower (10) Tips hard and Snacks are a great way to refuel. sweating, it Choose snacks from different food helps your groups – have a glass of low-fat milkResearch has shown that eating a heart pump and a few celery sticks with peanutnutritious breakfast that includes better, gives you butter and raisins, or some dry cereal.grain or protein and fruit or juice helps more energy, and helps you look and If you eat smart at other meals,to improve students’ test scores, feel your best. Start with a warm-up cookies, chips, and candy are okay forbehavior and well-being. that stretches your muscles. occasional snacking.1. Start with Breakfast (Daily) Include 20 minutes of aerobic activity, 5. Grains, Fruits, and Vegetables. such as running, jogging or dancing. Follow-up with activities that help make you stronger such as push-ups or lifting weights. Then cool-down with more stretching.Breakfast fills your “empty tank” to get 3. Get Moving!you going after a long night without Energy Foods –Eating more grains,food. Eating a good breakfast can help It is easy to fit fruits and vegetable gives youyou do better in school. Easy to physical activities into carbohydrates for energy plusprepare breakfasts include cold cereal your daily routine. vitamins, minerals, and fiber. Besides,with fruit and low-fat milk, whole- Try to fit physical they taste good! Try breads such aswheat toast with peanut butter, yogurt activities into your whole-wheat bread, bagels, and pita.with fruit, whole-grain waffles or even daily routine – take Spaghetti and oatmeal are also in thelast night’s pizza. the stairs instead of grain group. 25
    • 6. Balance Your Food Choices 8. Exercise with Family or Friends Being active is more How to Eat To LiveDo not eat too much of one thing. You fun with family ordo not have to give up foods like friends. Invite others Six (6) Nutrient Groupshamburgers, French fries, and ice to join you and plancream to eat healthfully. Your body one special physical Group One (1) - Waterneeds protein, carbohydrates, fat, and activity like a bike ridemany different vitamins and minerals or hiking, with a group each week. Water transports other nutrients tosuch as Vitamins C and A, iron, and cells, carries wastes away, aidscalcium from a variety of foods. 9. School Physical Activities digestion and more. It makes up Join in. Whether you take a physical more than half your bodyweight.7. Healthy Eating Style education class or do other physical SOURCES: water ~ juices and other activities at school, such as intramural beverages, soups and many “solid”A healthy eating style is like a puzzle sports, structured activities are a sure foods (fruits, vegetables, breads, etc.)with many parts. Each part, or food, is way to feel good, look good and staydifferent. Some foods may have more physically fit. Group Two (2) – Mineralsfat, sugar or salt, while others may Build bones, teeth, blood, and help thehave more vitamins or fiber. There is a 10. Fun Physical Activities body use energy. Especially importantplace for all these foods. What makes a to young people:diet good or bad is how foods fittogether. Group (3) Three - CalciumBalancing your choices is important.At dinner choose lower fat foods. Fit in Take advantage of physical activitiesa higher fat food like a meat pizza in you and your friends enjoy doing Calcium is found in milk,moderation. If two pieces of pizza fill together. Be adventurous. Try new cheese and other dairy products, andyou up, do not eat a third. sports, games, and other activities as also in some green vegetables. well as new foods. You will grow stronger, play longer, and look and feel better! Set realistic goals – don’t try changing too much at once. 26
    • Group Four (4) Proteins Group Five (5) - Carbohydrates in them), whole milk, cream, most cheeses, meats, poultry (especially Provide energy with skin), eggs, chocolate, avocados, Proteins build and (calories) for muscles, peanut butter and nuts. repair cells, fight infection, nerves, and the brain. and make your blood Complex carbohydrate foods provide Note: A good source of a vitamin orstrong. Found in meat, poultry and calories and other nutrients. (They are mineral contributes at least 10 percentshellfish, dried beans and peas, dark also sources of fiber, essential for of its Percent Daily Value per serving.green leafy vegetables (spinach, etc.), digestion and the prevention of some A good source of dietary fiberand dried fruits. diseases.) Simple carbohydrates contributes at least 2 grams of dietary provide calories, but not much else. fiber per serving.COMPLEX PROTEIN SOURCES COMPLEX CARBOHYDRATES:Fish, meat, chicken, eggs, milk, and These include breads, noodles, grains, Good Sources of Vitamin Asoybeans cereals, potatoes, nuts, seeds, dried beans, lentils and peas, vegetable, and ApricotsCOMPLETE PROTEIN SOURCES some fruits. Broccoli CantaloupeDried beans, lentils and peas, nuts, SIMPLE CARBOHYDRATES: Carrotsbreads, noodles, grains and cereals These include table sugar, powdered Collards sugar, brown sugar and “natural” EggplantVITAMINS help the body use food and sugars in honey, corn, and some fruits Kalework properly. Mango Group Six (6) – Fats PumpkinESPECIALLY GOOD SOURCES: Provide energy and SpinachCarrots, spinach, broccoli, green fatty acids, helps Squash, winterpeppers, leaf lettuce, cantaloupe, citrus digestion. Too much Sweet potatofruits, tomatoes, potatoes, whole and fat can be harmful. Tomatoenriched grains, milk products, fish, Turnip greensmeat, and poultry. SOURCES: Vegetable Watermelon oils, margarine, butter (and food fried 27
    • Good Sources of Dietary Fiber Good Sources of Potassium Good Sources of FoliateApple & Pears with skin Beans, dryApricot, dried Apricots, dried Black-eyed peasBanana Dry Beans LentilsDry Beans Black-eyed peas Mustard greensLima Beans Cantaloupe OrangeBlack-eyed peas Grapefruit juice Orange juiceBroccoli Honeydew melon Green PeasCarrots Lentils Split PeasLentils Orange juice SpinachOrange Green Peas Turnip greensGreen Peas Split PeasSplit PeasPotato with skin Plantains Potato Fun Food FactsPrunes Potato with skinSpinach Prune juice Did You Know?Winter Squash Cooked SpinachStrawberries Winter Squash Fast Food Isn’t New!Sweet potato Sweet potatoTomato Tomato The remains of fast Banana foods shops have been found inRemember: You have to burn 3500 ancient ruins! Evencalories to lose one pound of fat. ancient Greeks enjoyed take-out. The only thing that is new is the mass production, standard menus and recipes of fast-food “chains.” Wow! 28
    • Other Interesting Food Facts Salt Chop sueyLemons The word salary comes from the Lemons contain more Latin word sugar than strawberries. salarium. Salt was used in ancient times to pay forSnails work done. Today, salt (a form of The most sodium) is so prevalent in packaged likely of various tales about the originIn France, people eat approximately foods that it is far too easy to eat too of chop suey is that it was created by700 million snails per year. much salt. Watch your daily sodium Chinese immigrants in California. intake and read labels. AppetiteOnion The onion is named after a Frozen Fruits and Vegetables Temperature can affect Latin word meaning large Sometimes your appetite. You are more pearl of rice. Half of the frozen fruits likely to be hungry if you are cold! world’s population lives and vegetables on a diet staple of rice. are more Tomato nutritious thanFirst Breakfast fresh. The Have A Tomato WithCereal longer that fruits or Your Burger! When aThe first mass vegetables sit around waiting to be source of Vitamin Cproduced sold or eaten, the more nutrients they (orange, lemon, grapefruit, strawberry,breakfast cereal lose. Fruits and vegetables grown for tomato, etc) is eaten with meat orwas corn flakes. freezing are usually frozen right after cooked dry beans, the body they are picked, and have less time to makes better use of theInstant Coffee lose their nutrients. iron in the protein food. Instant coffee has been in existence since the middle of the 18th century. 29
    • Milk Listen Carefully Telephone Etiquette If the person is not home, listenWithin two (2) hours of carefully to what the caller says andstanding in daylight, milk Home Phone take a message. Keep a pad andloses between half and pencils on your desk at all times for Be considerate of thetwo-thirds of its vitamin B writing down messages. family telephone –content. 1. Ask the caller his/her name. If you others might wish to use the phone. do not know the correct spelling ofBaker’s Dozen the caller’s name, ask the caller to In a friendly voice, answer by saying spell his/her name. Bakers used to be fined if hello, good morning, or good afternoon. 2. Ask for their phone number. their loaves of bread If the caller wishes to speak to you, 3. Write down the message that the were under weight, so answer, “This is he/she” or “This is caller would like to leave. they used to add an James.” If the call is for another person extra loaf of bread to and he/she is nearby, say to the caller, Leaving Voice Messages at Home every dozen, just in case “One moment please.” In a clear voice repeat your name and– hence, the expression “baker’s dozen” telephone number, and a short Your Neighbor’s Phone message that is to the point. RepeatFish with Lemon If answering the telephone at someone your phone number slowly.It has been else’s home, simply say, “Hello,traditional to serve Jackson residence.” Gum Chewing and Talkingfish with lemon Do not chew or crack your gum whensince the Middle Ages. People believed Taking a Message speaking on the phone or speaking tothat the fruit’s juice from the lemon others in personwould dissolve any bones accidentallyswallowed. Talking During Mealtime Never answer the phone or talk to another person on the phone while eating. 30
    • Business Calls caller for being patient and finish the The person who originated/initiated business conversation. Call the second the call is responsible for calling back caller promptly after you have the other party completed the first call, just as you had promised. Keeping Phone Records Keep a record of all calls that comes Business Messages into the office. Use a phone message pad or phone log that indicates who called, the caller’s phone number, andPlease keep business calls professional date and time of the call. You can alsoor businesslike. log the message in the computer and save to retrieve when needed.Receiving Business CallsPick up the phone and answer with avery clear voice. Identify your company Cell Phone Etiquettename and yourself. For example:“Nia’s Enchanted Hair Boutique &Beauty Spa, Nia speaking; how may I Social Business messages always leave your Settingsassist you?” company’s name, your name, your company’s phone number and the Always useIf you are talking to a caller and the message.second line rings, apologize to the first discretioncaller and ask them if they would when using Office Answering Machine a cellularplease hold. If your company uses an answering phone in a social environment. It is machine or voice mail, please check best to refrain from placing cell phoneAnswer the second caller, get the your messages as soon as you return to calls during social events. Only answercaller’s name, phone number, and tell your desk. incoming calls after excusing yourselfthem you are on a call and will callthem back as soon as you finish. from the immediate area and Disconnected Calls at Work and remember to speak softly. Home – Who Calls Back?Return to the first caller thanking the 31
    • Cell Phone Pictures Standing in line Email EtiquetteNever take anyone’s picture with yourcell phone without his or herpermission. Taking someone’s pictureand publishing it without theirpermission is violating the law.Talking and Texting WhileDriving a CarTalking and texting on your cell phonecan be hazardous to you, yourpassengers and other drivers. As of2010, a ban on driving while talking ona hand-held cell phone is in place in 7 Important Email Etiquette Tips:states (California, Connecticut, NewJersey, New York, Oregon, Utah, and It is not polite to talk on your cell 1. Be concise and to the point.Washington) and the District of phone while standing in line at a place Avoid long sentences.Columbia). The use of all cell phones of business such as in a bank, deli, 2. Answer all questions and pre-while driving a school bus is prohibited department store, airport, restaurant, empt further questions.in 17 states and the District of and other public places. When you 3. Use proper spelling, grammarColumbia (DC). The use of all cell arrive face to face with the clerk or & punctuation. (Spell Check)phones by novice drivers is restricted associate do not continue talking on 4. Use templates for frequentlyin 21 states and DC. your cell phone. Your actions in most used responses. cases will be upsetting to the others in 5. Answer promptly.Text messaging is banned for all 6. Do not attach unnecessary line behind you and the staff persondrivers in 19 states and DC. Even if files. waiting to serve you.you use a hands-free headset, you are 7. Use proper structure & layout.still distracted by trying to have a 8. Do not overuse the high Stay focused on why you are thereconversation while driving. Pull off the priority option. and what business you need toroad if you have to answer or place a 9. Do not write in CAPITAL complete.call. Never TEXT while driving. LETTERS. It equals shouting. 32
    • 10. Do not leave out the message thread. Educational Tips11. Add disclaimers to your emails.12. Read the email before you send it.13. Do not overuse Reply to All14. Don’t overuse abbreviations and emoticons.15. Take care with rich text and HTML messages. Why is email etiquette important?16. Do not forward chain letters or A company needs to implement Reading Internet hoaxes.17. Do not copy a message or etiquette rules for the following three reasons: Reading is essential in the educational attachment without 1) Professionalism: By using process. It is the gateway to the liberal permission. proper email language your arts and to seeking knowledge, to18. Do not use emails to discuss company will convey a learning about the past, to confidential information. professional image. understanding the present, to being19. Use a meaningful subject. 2) Efficiency: Emails that get to able to see what others are writing20. Avoid using URGENT and the point are much more about the future. IMPORTANT.21. Do not send or forward emails effective than poorly worded emails. Mathematics containing defamatory, 3) Protection from liability: Mathematics is the gateway to the offensive, racist or obscene Employee awareness of email sciences. You cannot understand remarks. risks will protect your company chemistry, physics, or logic, unless you22. Do not reply to spam. from costly lawsuits. have a background in mathematics. In23. Use cc: field sparingly. an increasingly technological world,24. Do not make an email longer the mathematics skills of the Nation’s than it needs to be. workers are a crucial component of25. Don’t assume that no one else economic competitiveness. will read the email. 33
    • Parent Involvement and Music influences young people so listen to what they listen. Your Child’s SchoolSchool Partnerships Begin talking to them at Selection TipsMuch research supports the view thatinvolvement by parents, guardians or an early age about going to college and take them The best wayother caregivers in a child’s’ education to learn abouthas a positive impact on student on college tours when the time comes. schools is toachievement. Parental involvement is visit them.crucial. Computer Skills emember, Make sure schools doParents/Guardians/Caregivers not accept that your children unscheduled visitors. The first step to Make a list of schools that you might higher achievement develop basic computer want to visit. The list will not tell you is to believe that one which schools are good or bad. It is can achieve. Parents skills, so they can become Internet literate. Support the superintendent just a tool to help you determine yourshould instill a belief system in their own priorities and to evaluate whetherchildren that they can achieve at a and the board of education in setting and pursuing high educational a school meets your child’s needs.higher academic level. Research has • Find out which school is yourshown that expectations have a standards. neighborhood school.substantial impact on academic • Visit your assigned school noachievement. matter what you have heard about it. You owe it to yourselfChildren should be given a list of non- and the school to visit. It hasnegotiable rules. Teach children to become commonplace to blamerespect others and adhere to the dress schools for children who fail.code for school and work. Children Many of the “failing” schools arewith a strong work ethic and high self- the places where teachers workesteem can achieve whatever they the hardest, against the mostwant to achieve. Each person is the difficult social problems, andsum total of his/her life experiences. deserve the most respect. 34
    • • Talk to your friends and • Are teachers and parents the necessary personnel and resources, neighbors to get their ideas. included in school-wide planning and have created partnerships.• Talk to your child’s current about the curriculum? Principals should visit every teacher’s teacher for ideas. • Is the work challenging? classroom. They should walk the halls• Research programs and test • If the work is over their head, a lot and know their school and its scores with independent how do they get extra help and students. materials that compare schools. when?• Rank your choices • How are students with greater Cultural Factors before you tour. abilities challenged in the Begin with your classroom? assigned school • Does the content in the class and visit seem appropriate for the grade schools in level? reverse order of • How many students are your priorities, from your least receiving college credits? Schools are now a blend of many to most favorite. • What advanced placement different cultures. This demands that• After you have toured, go back courses are offered? today’s teachers be equipped and over the checklist and identify • What college guidance is confident to teach in a diverse any major areas of concern. offered? classroom. Talk with students and their • What exposure to the work parents at your top choices to world is provided? Classroom Climate get their input. • Do student receive help finding The climate determines behavior of• Attend a PTA meeting or summer jobs or placement students in the classroom, for example, request the name of an active following graduation? the extent to which teachers and parent in the school who can principals believes that youth can answer your questions. Essential Characteristics achieve. The teaching environment• How are students expected to should be exciting, creative, have lots learn? Example: Do students School Principal – of bright student artwork displayed. A work independently at their own Successful schools warm teaching environment gives desk or in groups? have motivated students a sense of safety, security and• How is the curriculum planned? principals who have comfort. 35
    • Make sure teachers know their subject Education is a constructive, drivingImpressive Teachers matter in depth. Look for teachers who force for positive change. Without a have knowledge of their content areas. good education, the chance for They will bring high expectations to individuals to do well in society is not the classroom, and make a connection very good. Children who are not between home and school. prepared for work or prepared to attend college, will face very Always check out the school’s yearly competitive, difficult and stressful report card. You can do this online or times. This is the battle for their by getting a copy from the school’s ability to live independently. ChildrenLook for teachers who impress secretary. who have been poorly educated willstudents in the same way you would most likely also be economically poor.impress a visitor to your home. Support StructuresTeachers should make them feel Schools must have support structures As parents we must challenge ourwelcome in the classroom. Children are in place to facilitate academic children to achieve at a high andhappy to return to a class that has a achievement. The school must provide competitive level. We have no choicewelcoming environment. a support structure to help students but to give the best to our children in stay in school (middle and high school). terms of instruction, and, in return, weWell-Trained Teachers must expect the best from them. A well-trained College Selection teacher believes University/College Do not select a university or college all children can based on tuition and fees. Parents and learn. He/she High Expectations and students often forget that almost all motivates Enrollment Tips educational institutions have grants everyone to set and scholarships available. Do not high standards and think you cannot go to the universitycontinues to strive for the best from or college of your desire. Financial aidstudents. Teachers should provide is sometimes available.clear expectations to students andparents. 36
    • University or College Application Our children are our most Counselors valuable resource and we Make friends with your guidance must help them to achieve. counselor. The dean and other staff members will call this person first for any information on you.Apply to as many schools as possiblethat offer the desired major. Parent Message Set high achievement goals for yourselfAdmissions Clerk and your children. Research has shownNever answer your cell phone in that most first-year students willfront of the admissions clerk – it could change their major three (3) timesmake a difference in whether you are before they get it right.accepted to that university or college. 37
    • are for those who accept them, but good on you in the past, it won’t now—Fashion Tips for wish to minimize them. unless you’ve made some major changes.Women 1. Stand up straight, have good posture and carry yourself with Neutral ColorsFashion & Accessory Tips grace. Not only will you appear Have plenty of neutrals on hand to mix taller, you will radiate self and match. This style confidence. guide is for 2. Know your body and what looks Open collar shirts and scoop necks will general good. lengthen a short neck. Add a long fashion tips 3. You are logically attracted to necklace. and advice. styles and colors that flatter Check out your figure. Know what looks good on you! the current 4. Use past experience to your trends to get advantage and trust your Tailored Clothing the latest intuition; sometimes fashion and Tailored clothes fashion tips beauty etiquette comes flatter most women’s and tricks naturally. figures. for the 5. Feel free to experiment! newest styles. Boutique “Skinny Mirrors”Choosing Your StyleSharpen your fashion skills with these Beware of thosepractical tips to flatter your figure and “skinny” mirrors Purchase Similar Stylesmake your clothes work for you. The in boutiquesstyles you choose will affect your and department Buy styles similarappearance and how you’re perceived. stores that are to the clothes you misleading. If a already own thatOvercoming “Flaws” style didn’t look you think flatterEvery woman has flaws. These ideas your figure. 38
    • Safety Pin New Styles contact another store. Many stores are Do not be afraid to try anything new. set up to call their other stores toAlways carry a safety pin in your purse locate and ship the desired size directly for emergencies. Do not bare all. to you. Leave some mystery to your look.Shoulder pads: will help you balance Designer Fashionslarge breasts and wide hips, but keep Loose Buttons Do not fret ifthem slim. Secure your buttons by dabbing the you see an backs of them with fingernail polish or outfit in aShoes: Break in your shoes before clear glue. This prevents the stitching magazine thatwearing for an entire day or special from coming loose. is too pricey foroccasion. your budget.Sticky Zippers Clingy Clothing You canFix sticky zippers by rubbing them If you are concerned about clingy probably putwith some wax or a bar of soap. clothing, do not buy anything with together the more than 5% Lycra. same outfit atClean Clothing stores such as the Macy, Gap , Old Static Cling Navy, Chico’s, Dillard and Nordstrom Always clean your clothes Use dryer sheets or fabric spray to at a fraction of the price. Just cut out before storing them away. reduce static cling. the picture and take it shopping with you. Leather Clothing Leather has a tendency to stretch, so PerfumeThrift Stores buy your pants one size smaller. Apply your perfume beforeIf you are losing or gaining weight, go dressing to prevent stainingto your local thrift store and get some Department Store your clothing. Apply yourin-between sizes that fit. perfume lightly. If a departmentPantyhose store does not haveMake sure your pantyhose fit correctly. your size, ask yourTugging on them in public is a no-no. sales associate to 39
    • Hats Try your hat on in a full-length mirror such as, velvet, soft satin, flowers, or with your outfit to see if the entire feathers, but simple in design. Men and women ensemble is in balance. know what a lift a Berets new hat can give. Your hat style determines the occasion But if the hat is and the outfit with which it should be wrong, it can worn. ruin the whole outfit. Choose a Glamorous Hats hat that is suitable Ladies casual tweed suits look bestfor your outfit with a tailored cloche or simple beret.Choose a hat according to your figure.Do not wear a small hat on your head,if you are a full figured person. (It willmake you look out of proportion.)Always match your hat in sizeaccording to your figure, color anddesign with your outfit you are Ladies wearing dressy suits or dressesplanning to wear. (See the illustration should have a more glamorous hat –on the next page.) 40
    • Right Hat for Your Figure “Short Right Hat for Your Outfit “Hat Right Hat for Your Figure “SlimStocky Figure” A Sizes & Outfits” B Figure” C A too-small hat used with a sleek, slimA short stocky figure with a short neck and a large bosom Hat size applies to outfit as well as figure. This coat with a dress like this gives a bare, unfinished look to the outfit (b)looks even shorter, because, top heavy under a large, wide large, high collar has all of the weight at the top of thehat (a) figure when a big hat is put over it (b). WrongWrong Wrong Right Right The larger hat, worn with the scoop necked Right sheath, takes away the bare look of the headOn Figure (a), the hat is scaled down in width The smaller hat, on figure (b) gives a clean, and neck and gives a better balance to theand is much higher to give a taller, slimmer more balanced look to the coat with the higher figure ©.look. It sets higher on the head, which is more collar.flattering to the short-necked figure. 41
    • Dressy – A dressy purse of suede or fabric is out of place withPurse Tips a sweater and skirt. Usually, a dressy bag is smaller than the one generally used for every day.Your purses do not have to be expensive to look smart. Choose Suitable Accessories -- Colorsa purse suitable to the occasion.A small woman looks overburdened with a too-large Jewelry – Neutral Colorspurse/handbag. A large woman looks out of proportion with avery small purse/handbag. Neutral black can safely be used forHandbags and Currency Organizers all accessories.Coin Purse and Billfold – are used to keep your purse from Other neutral colors that can also be used more freely arebecoming messy – never open a messy purse in front of others. gray, brown, taupe and navy.It could question your organizational skills. Often, two neutrals can be used, with a third color to brighten the whole outfit. Shades of a bright accessory color can also be used in the same ensemble without overdoing the color. Shoes: Shoes and purses in most cases are of the same color.Casual and Dressy AttireOver-the-shoulder purses belong with a casual outfit Gloves and Hats are of the same color. 42
    • ShoesProfessional Attire Tight Skirts Recommended shoe colors are black, Wear only conservative burgundy or brown leather. Pumps or outfits in an office or flats with a 1-2” heel; no spikes. religious environment. Do Hosiery not wear tight Neutral or skin tone skirts or tight pants. Bring an extra pair for emergencies. Tights are not as dressy as sheer Shirts hosiery. Shirts should be of cotton, wool, polyester, cashmere, or silk blends in conservative colors. Business Casual Attire for Women Short or long sleeves with a jewelSuits (rounded) neckline. Jacket & Pants, Skirt or DressSuit pieces should be same color Blouse or shell - Press shirt/blouseSkirt suits or pants suits are carefully, particularly the collar Noacceptable; 100 % wool or wool blend in visible cleavagedark grey or blue solids or mutedpinstripes.Skirt-suits are still considered moreappropriate by conservative employers.Skirt length should be no shorter than1” above knee. Wear the skirt to Jacket and pants or skirt do notpractice sitting in it. Does it ride up? need to be the same color.Then buy a longer one! 43
    • Final Mirror Check Earrings Remember to For the office, wear simple earrings. Knit Tops of do a final Do not wear long dangle earrings and cotton, wool, mirror check only one earring per ear. cashmere or silk before leaving. blends; short or Writing Instruments long sleeve; sweater Invest in a Mont Blanc pensets. No visible cleavage Unacceptable Office Attire or any other handsome writing However, this attire instrument that you can afford.Woven Tops of 100% cotton or maybe verycotton/polyester blends. Any muted appropriative for other Briefcase:conservative solid, stripe, or plaid. job environments.Button-down, straight collar and long Purchase a nicesleeves are best. leather briefcase if needed for your job.Tights and SocksColored tights or socks are appropriatefor casual wear and shouldcomplement your outfit. ScarvesCasual Shoes Simple Accessories Scarves or long necklaces blouses are Watches and Rings should be simple. generally not recommended attire. Please one ring only.Black, burgundy or brown leatherpumps or flats with 1-2” heel; nospikes. Polish and clean shoes (don’twear outside, particularly if rainingor snowing) 44
    • Eyewear: Make sure that youreyewear is simple and clean. Selectfashionable eyewear that willcomplement your face. Hair looks best Personal Facial ~ pulled back from your face, so as not to be aUndergarments should fit properly distraction. It isand be 100% non-visible also best to have a fresh haircut Use a daily combed and styled, but not over-gelled.Tattoos are not an accessory – Cover facial cleanserall visible tattoos. and a Nails ~ Clean and trim moisturizer for your face. fingernails; no longGum is not an accessory. nails and no color polish! Clear nail polish is best. Makeup should bePersonal Grooming minimal! Use muted, conservative colors. Learn theBrush Teeth correct way to apply your make up. Visit a salon or the makeup counter at Colognes ~ Do not over use cologne. your local department store for advice and a personal demonstration.Bath or Shower 45
    • extend ¼” beyond jacket sleeve. Taped or regular fit (not full-cut)Business Attire Shirts Your shirt should be 100% cotton orfor Men cotton/polyester blend. Shirts of Ties broadcloth or pinpoint oxford are best. 100% Silk The most common shirt to wear is Most commonly worn white or a conservative color. tie width is approximately the same Press as jacket lapels (2 ¾” – 3 ½”). The tie Shirt color should complement suit. No logo Make sure or cartoon ties. you press your shirt Belts and Shoe Colors carefully, The belt should match the shoe color. particularly Best colors are black, burgundy, and the collar. brown.A man’s suit should be100% wool or Do it Wear leather, dark colored shoes thatwool blend and a conservative fit. yourself or spend the money on dry lace up and that complement your suit.Button the jacket when standing; cleaning. Most commonly worn under Make sure your shoes are polished andunbutton when seated. the shirt is a plain white crewneck t- clean. shirt.Suit jacket and pants should be thesame color, preferably in dark grey, Cuffs and Cufflinksblue or black solids or pinstripes. Wear lightweight business socks in dark colors that complement your suit. Cuffs should 46
    • business attire. Jacket and pants do A belt should be worn around the not need to be same color. waist-- no sagging pants.Business CasualAttire for Men Secure your belt around your waist and through the pant loopsJacket and Woven Shirts A nice pullover shirt can also be worn.A sweater vest or long sleeve sweatercan be worn over a shirt with a collar. Shirt: The most Pants: Nice wool blend pressed cotton commonly worn pants are okay. Check for proper rise Underwear should fit properly and be shirts are100% fit and inseam. 100% non-visible. cotton or a cotton/polyester Ties are not necessary for casual Unacceptable Office Attire blend in any dress. muted, conservative Belt should match shoe color.solid, stripe, or plaid. The most popularshirts worn are button-down orstraight collar with long sleeves.Knit Shirts Shoes Wear dark leather slip on or lace-up. Make sure your shoes areCotton, wool, polyester or cashmere polished and clean. However, this attire maybe veryblends. Must have collar (no crewneck), short or long sleeves. acceptable for other job environments. Socks: Wear dark colored socks that complement both your pants andCasual Jacket and Pants shoes.A jacket is not necessary for casual 47
    • Writing Instruments: Invest in a Coffee and NewspaperMen Accessories Mont Blanc pen or any other handsome writing instrument that youWatches can afford.A simple watch is okay. Match your Do not have a cup ofwatch color with belt buckle color. A coffee or read a newspaper at yourtie tack is not necessary. interview. Remember, this is not a social occasion. Briefcase: Purchase a nice leather briefcase if needed for the job. Gum is not an accessory – please do not chew gum in public. Rings Wear your wedding band or one simple ring MirrorWallet / BillfoldYou should have a nice leather walletand never over stuff it. An over-stuffed Earring and Other Ringswallet will not have a neat appearance The night before an interview,in your suit pants. seriously consider removing any nose rings or other rings on your body that are visible. Tattoos Do one final check in the mirror!No fat wallets! Cover all visible tattoos. 48
    • Personal Grooming Hair Cuts Brush Teeth and Floss Consider cutting long hair. it is also best to have a fresh haircut trimmed neatly and close to your face. Have it combed and styled, but not over- gelled.Facial Hair Shower Daily Shampoo Hair Use soap and deodorantNo facial hair is best for conservative Remember, to shampoo your hair aftercompanies. At minimum, trim neatly a haircut.and close to face. Brush and comb your hair in a neatCologne and After Shave Lotion style. Shoes ~Keep your shoes clean and polished at all times Finger NailsAfter shave lotion and cologne should Clean and trim finger nails.be applied sparingly. Fragrances areoften offensive to business associatesand therefore inappropriate in aprofessional venue. 49
    • Have someone else critique andEmployment proofread your résumé. POWER WORDS Select quality bond paper for your final copies. Use white, ivory, cream, beige,Resumé Writing Tips buff, or light grey paper. Use a letter-quality or laser printer and black type. Fold and mail your résumé in a matching envelope or mail it flat in a Key for Your Resume 9” x 12” white or manila envelope. Here are a few of power words that you can include on a resume. DO NOT . . .DO . . . Type the word “Résumé” above your Accomplished LedMake certain your resumé is concise, name. Achieved Managedwell spaced and visually attractive. Advised Persuaded Use abbreviations or contractions. Communicated PlannedUse action words to describe your Conducted Recommendedexperiences (see list of power words). Write lengthy prose. Designed Reconciled Developed ReducedQuantify your experiences Use multiple fonts, typographic Directed Soldwherever possible. symbols or other visual elements. Doubled Supervised Edited TaughtBe consistent in your use of dates, Use personal pronouns (I, we, my). Evaluated Wrotenumbers, abbreviations, etc. Include a photograph. Hired ImprovedCheck and recheck for errors; look Mention personal data (e.g., height, Increasedclosely for mistakes in grammar, weight, health, age or date of birth, Installedpunctuation, and spelling. marital status, race, religion, sex, etc.) Interviewed 50
    • Basic Resumé Format Basic Cover Letter Format [Your name][Type your name] [Street address][Type Your Phone Number] [City, St, Zip Code] [Date][Type Your Address][Type Your E-Mail Address][Type Your Web Site] [Recipient Name] [Title] [Company Name]Objectives [Street address][Type the Objectives] [City, St, Zip Code]Education[Type the Year] – [Type the Degree] Dear [Recipient name]List of Accomplishments We spoke on Monday. As promised, I am enclosing a copy of my resume. I am also enclosing copies of:Experience • ___________________________________________________[Type the start date] – [Type the end date] – [Type the job ______________________________title] If you have any questions, please call me at (999) 999-9999. I[Type job responsibilities] look forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely,Skills [Your name][Type list of skills] Enclosure 51
    • E-mail: _____________________________________________________________Sample Job Application Are you eligible to work in the United States? Yes ____ No____ If you are under age 18, do you have an employment/age certificates?Form Yes _______ No_______ Have you been convicted of or pleaded no contest to a felony within the last five years? Yes_______ No_______ If yes, please explain: _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ POSITION/AVAILABILITY: Position Applied For: _________________________________________________ Days/Hours Available: Monday __ Tuesday __ Wednesday__Print, then practice filling out this job application form and use it as aguide when completing applications for employment. Thursday __ Friday __ Saturday __ Sunday __Instructions: Print clearly in black or blue ink. Answer all questions. Signand date the form. Hours Available: from _______to _____PERSONAL INFORMATION: What date are you available to start work? _____________________________Full Name __________________________________________________________ EDUCATION:Social Security Number_______________________________________________ Name and Address of School - Degree/Diploma - Graduation DateStreet Address: City, State, Zip Code __________________________________ Skills and Qualifications: Licenses, Skills, Training, AwardsPhone Numbers: Home ___________Cell ___________ Other ______________ 52
    • From: _________________________ to: ______________________EMPLOYMENT HISTORY: Present or Last Position: Responsibilities:Employer: ___________________________________________________________ Salary: __________________________________________________Address: ____________________________________________________________ Reason for Leaving: ______________________________________Supervisor: _______________________________ Phone: ___________________ May We Contact Your Present Employer? Yes ___ No ___Email: ______________________________________________________________ References:Position Title: _______________________________________________________ Name/Title/Address/Phone Numbers/E-mail addressFrom: ____________________________to:________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________Responsibilities: I certify that information contained in this application is true and_____________________________________________________________________ complete._____________________________________________________________________ I understand that false information may be grounds for not hiring me orSalary: $ ___________________________________________________________ for immediate termination of employment at any point in the future, if I am hired. I authorize the verification of any or all information listedReason for Leaving: __________________________________________________ above.Previous Positions Signature: _________________________________Date________Employer Name: _______________________Address: _____________________City ____________________________State _______Zip Code _______________Supervisor: __________________ Phone: ____________________Email: ___________________________________________________Position Title: ____________________________________________ 53
    • Personal Check List Choose responses and verbal statements that promote you.for Your Interview Greet the interviewer with enthusiasm and a firm handshake.Remember: You only have one chance to make a firstimpression. Follow this guideline and you will be sure to Be personable and prepared to “make small talk.”impress the employer. Your first impressions can affect therest of the interview. Be polite to support staff (their input matters.) Reflect confidence in your voice tone. Use proper grammar and communicate Wear conservative colors. in a professional manner. Try to avoid“UMS” and “YOU KNOW.” Nails should be trimmed and clean.Make Eye Contact with the interviewer at all times. Hair should be well groomed and away from your face.Ask Questions. Eye glasses should be cleaned and polished.Research the position and company prior to the interview. Wear a belt with pants around your waist.Prepare yourself by practicing. No “pants on the ground.”Thank the interviewer for your interview. Cover tattoos if possible.Be Positive. One ring per hand.Make a good first impression. One earring per ear.Arrive 15 minutes early for the interview. Be “neutral.” 54
    • Okay you are now ready for your The following are common questions asked by employers. interview.Job Interview Tips Typical Interviews Most employers follow a standard What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? outline during the interview process. Why did you select Texas Women’s University? Why did you choose the major in fashion and marketing? (The interviewer may give you a Why did you choose your career field? preview of what will occur during What are your career goals? the interview.) Where do you see yourself in five or ten years? How has your college experience prepared you for yourThe employer may give you a brief overview of the position or career?additional information about the organization. What qualifications do you have that will make you successful in this position?You respond to questions. (If it is a good interview, this is the Describe your most rewarding accomplishment.longest segment and you should do most of the talking). Describe a challenge you encountered and how you dealt with it.You ask questions of the interviewer. Have at least five or ten Why are you interested in working for our organization?questions prepared beforehand. What do you know about our organization? Tell me a little bit about yourself.Employer Questions How would you describe yourself?Anticipate questions you will be asked and prepare What two or three things are most important to you in yourresponses beforehand. job? Why should I hire you? 55
    • Examples: What is the philosophy of the organization?Questions for the Employer What do you consider the organization’s strengths and weaknesses?Formulate Questions of What are the organization’s plans and goals?High Quality for the Employer Describe the work environment. What attracted you to this organization? Do Your Homework Why do you enjoy working for this organization? Be prepared beforehand to Describe the typical responsibilities of the position. ask the interviewer What are the challenging facets of the position? questions. Research the Describe the opportunities for training and professional organization and your development. profession. Your knowledge of the profession and Employers Advancement Chart Are there opportunities information you gather for advancement within the organization? through research and networking will help you Ending The Interview formulate questions of high The interviewer closes the interview and explains the quality. next steps in the process. Questions -you may Be sure to thank the interviewer for his or her time and consideration. ask in an interview. Other types of interviews include telephone and on- site interviews. 56
    • Small Talk ~ Greeting and small talk Nametag PositionIntroductions will be use to put you at ease andHandshaking/Conversation Tips break the ice. Eye Contact Nametags should ALWAYS be placed on the right side, so an individual may easily look at your name when shaking your hand. Forget Someone’s Name If you forget someone’s name, take the embarrassment upon yourself. Say Look the person in his or her eyes, and something like, “I’m sorry I know that say your first and last name in a clear we have met before, you are...?” voice. Close an Introduction Never pat the top of the other person’s Always remember to close an hand. introduction by saying something like, “It was nice to have met you.” The handshake should last for 2-3 Never simply walk away. In the United States, usually a person seconds.stands the distance of one arm’s length Rules of Different Conversationsfrom an individual when shaking Avoid referring to individuals by their Learn the art of social conversationhands. first name. This assumes a friendly and appropriate topics of conversation relationship and often is not for formal and informal occasions.Being Introduced appropriate.Always stand up when being introduced. Social Conversation is veryExtend your right hand in an open vertical Use the name that was given during important. It is important to alwaysflat position for a handshake (using a firm the introduction. “Steven is Steven, be attentive in the presence of others...grip) but not crushing the other person’s NOT Steve.”hand. Some basic rules regarding Social 57
    • Conversation: Keep it short! It is social Polite Conversationconversation after all. Polite conversation is not a long drawn out Introductions – one; it is used in greeting people who start to talk to you at church, grocery stores, DeferenceEmotional TopicsAvoid talking about topics that evoke airports, bus stations. Just using a few sentences are all that is necessary in order A Common Ruleopinions or emotions such as religion, not to be rude.politics and money. Deference refers to common courtesy Real Conversationalist that is extended to one another. With A Real Conversationalist is a self- regard to introductions, juniors are confident person. He/she inspires, always presented to seniors. simulates and teaches us. Occasionally that person will flatter and tease us A common rule is to introduce the because of an honest desire to please and a highest-ranking person first, and then sense of humor. A successful conversation introduce everyone to him or her.Watch your speech patterns. requires perceptiveness, education andDo not interrupt people when they are cultivation or self-education. Deference is based on rank in aspeaking. To be a good conversationalist you must be up to date and current on life in general. company and not on gender.Do you finish other people’sstatements? If so, you are not listening Also, remember that a client ALWAYS What Makes a Bad Impressionto the speaker! outranks someone from within your A good vocabulary is one of the mostIt is important not to monopolize the company (even your supervisor). impressive assets a person can have. Noconversation. matter how intelligent you are, if you use swear words or too much slang in yourIf you experience rudeness in a social conversation, you will make a badconversation, simply ignore it. Do not impression. People will not perceive thewaste your time and energy thinking depth of your conversation or itsabout it. If appropriate and under intelligence; they will hear only itsextreme circumstances, address it in harshness and vulgarity.private with the individual. 58
    • Personal Hobbies ArtistWhat to Talk AboutHere are some possible topics ofconversation: Line of work CollegeCurrent events Travel Entertainment World 59
    • Too Angry Facial ExpressionCommunicationBarriersIn life we have many barriers thatmight cause us not to effectivelycommunicate with others such as:Too Tired or Too Bored Attire & Body Language FearToo Hungry Bad Hairdo & Attire Sick 60
    • Homophobia ~ Understand otherChoices We Make people. Say, “NO” to homophobia!Good and Bad BehaviorRespect grandparents and otherpeople at all time. Do not give out your personal information and place your picture on the internet! Keep your personal information private! Riding with Strangers Do not get in cars with strangers! Do Racism ~ Do not engage in racism! Be not place yourself in a possible kind to others (Human beings and dangerous position. animals)Be Kind to AnimalsPet Owners: Make sure you take yourpet to the veterinarian for regularcheck ups. Suspicious Package If you find a suspicious package, do not open it. Please contact your local police Personal SafetyDo not chase cats and dogs. Remember department right away. On-line Tipsyou would not want a stranger chasing Do not engage in conversation withyou. Do not frighten the animals. strangers on the Internet! 61
    • Good Jobs Disc Jockey Bad JobsThere are many non-degree jobsavailable in your community. Checkout the list of jobs below.Pizza Maker Work for what you want. Breaking the law will place you in jail. Do not waste your life behind bars. Get a real job! Grocery CheckerShort Order Cook Boxed - In jail Theatre Usher Do not break the law! Again, work for want you need or want.Bank Teller 62
    • Create Time to Talk concern you... Just talk to someone youParents/Caregivers trust. Driving your teen to a sporting eventTough Subjects or to meet his or her friends at the Victim of Abusive Behavior mall may seem like just another chore, Get help!Alcohol ~ Drugs ~ Smoking unless you recognize it as anMost parents think they have had opportunity to talk. Of course, you mayserious discussions with their teens have to get the conversation going. Tryabout drugs and alcohol, but only telling your child a little about yourabout half of teens agree. So, even day or inquiring about his or her No one should hit you with anythough you might stumble and falter, friends, before asking her how things harmful items. Please call 911 or tellstart talking! The stakes are too high are going. Make sure your family sits your teachers, neighbors or someonefor you to keep silent. down at the table and has dinner you trust. together weekly or as often as possibleBack when our children were small, during the week. Sexual Behaviorwho could have imagined what life Do not engage in unprotected sex orwould hold for them: pressures Do Your Research Before discussing acts of incest!surrounding sex, alcohol, drugs, and a topics like sex or drugs with your sonbewildering array of messages, choices, or daughter, first do a little homework. Choices and Consequencesand consequences. Often it’s as simple as checking the phone book for hotlines or asking my AlcoholWhile it’s a rare parent who doesn’t doctor to recommend some pamphlets. More than half of the nation’s 6-12thwant to say, “Let me help you sort If your son or daughter is not willing to graders drink alcoholic beverages.things out,” we also recognize that our discuss a touchy subject, you can still Don’t let your teen become a statistic.children’s need for independence grows give him or her phone numbers to callas they do. And talking about touchy or an article to read. And, of course, Smokingsubjects can be especially difficult tell them you will always be available Help your teens kick this dangerouswhen teens tend to tune us out. if he or she needs your help.” habit or better yet, convince them never to start. Smoking is not Students’ Private Matters - Talk to fashionable anymore, and research has your parents or school counselors proven that smoking kills people. about private matters that may 63
    • Street Drugs Slang Words California Cornflakes – CocaineDrug Abuse GlossaryIn the next 24 hours, 15,006 American Listed below are only a few words California sunshine – LSDteens will use drugs for the first time. used by drugs users and dealers.Do not let your teen be one of them! Cancelled Stick – MarijuanaTake only medications prescribed by a C – Cocaine cigarettedoctor. C & M – Cocaine and morphine Candy – Cocaine; Crack Cocaine;Do Your Research amphetamine; depressants“Before I discuss topics like sex or C Joint – Place where cocaine is solddrugs with my son,” one father says, “I Candy Blunt – Blunts dipped indo a little homework. Often it’s as Cabbage Head – An individual who cough syrupsimple as checking the phone book for will use or experiment with any kind ofhotlines or asking my doctor to drug Candy flipping on a string –recommend some pamphlets. If my son Combining or sequencing LSD withis not willing to discuss a touchy Cabello (Spanish) – Cocaine MDMA; mixing LSD, MDMA, andsubject, I can still give him a number cocaineto call or an article to read. And, of Cadillac Express – Methcathinonecourse, I tell him I’m always availableif he needs my help.” Cafeteria Use – Use of various drugs simultaneously, particularly sedatives or hypnotics Cafeteria-Style Use – Using a combination of different club drugs Caine – Cocaine; Crack Cocaine Bull – Narcotics agent or police officer Cakes – Round discs of crack Calbo (Spanish) – Heroin 64
    • What Are Goals? Something that somebody wants to achieveAchieving Your Goals Remember, Successful people DO things that UnsuccessfulChallenges to Achieve – Emotion and Physical people are UNWILLING to do! 1. Specific goal: (Eat Healthy)My goal is to: 2. Measurable: (Did things change?)_______________________________________________________ 3. Time line: (I will accomplish my goal by this date) 4. Be Realistic: (Too challenging or too easy?)My Goal Positive (+) Negative (-) Listed are fourteen (14) ways to achieve your goals; 1. First start with three (3) goals_________________________________________________________ 2. Prioritize your goals 3. Write down your goals 4. Rewrite your goals every month 5. Place your goals where you and others will see them_________________________________________________________ everyday 6. Find people to support you (Your Villagers) 7. Be Patient 8. Be Persistent_________________________________________________________ 9. Be Optimistic 10. Visualize (The new you) 11. Be willing to admit when you are kidding yourself and_________________________________________________________ then – STOP IT! 12. Be willing to stretch to a point and ask for help when you need it. 13. Be willing to be uncomfortable for at least six (six)_________________________________________________________ weeks. 14. Be willing to trust yourself and the process. 65
    • Your Financial Budget Monthly Inventory IncomeMonthly Inventory Wages Amount Expenses Yourself _________________________Expenses Amount Wage-earner 2 _________________________ Wage-earner 3 _________________________Food/Household Supplies _________________________ Wage-earner 3 _________________________Rent/Mortgage _________________________ Sub-Total (A) $________________________Household Taxes _________________________Household Insurance _________________________ BenefitsHousehold Repairs _________________________ Worker Compensation _________________________Gas and Electric _________________________ Unemployment 1 _________________________Water _________________________ Unemployment 2 _________________________Cell/Home/Internet _________________________ Social Security 1 _________________________Cable _________________________ Social Security 2 _________________________Clothing _________________________ SS Disability (SSI) _________________________Dry Cleaning _________________________ TANF/AFDC _________________________Laundry _________________________ Food Stamps _________________________School Supplies _________________________ VA Disability _________________________Diapers _________________________ Other _________________________Childcare _________________________ Sub-Total (B) $________________________Child Support Payment _________________________ Other IncomeCar Payment _________________________ Retirement-1 (Pension) _________________________Car Insurance _________________________ Retirement-2 (Pension) _________________________Car Repair _________________________ Child Support _________________________Gasoline _________________________ Miscellaneous _________________________Bus / Transportation _________________________ Sub-Total (C)Medicines _________________________ Total Income (A+B+C) $_________________________Vitamins _________________________ Less Total Expenses (-)Insurance Polices (Medical/Life) _________________________ $_________________________Personal Grooming (Haircut/Styling) _________________________Personal Care Products _________________________ BALANCE $_________________________Other _________________________ 66
    • from the top – also called Devonshire cream.Glossary College: Institution of higher learning - an institution of higher learning that provides education to undergraduates and awards bachelors and sometimesAmbitious: Having strong desire for success in life master’s degrees.Apologize: Acknowledge and express regret or remorse for College Dean: A member of a college / university administration something; say that you are sorry for something in charge of a learning institution, faculty, special that has upset or inconvenienced somebody else. section of students, or of the whole body of students.Application: A formal and usually written request for something Congregation: A group of people gathered for a religious service. such as a job, a grant of money, or admission to a school or college. Conversation: An informal talk with somebody, especially about opinions, ideals, feelings or everyday matters.Appreciate: Value somebody or something highly – to recognize and like the qualities in somebody or something. Cultures: Civilization; people with shared beliefs and values of a group – the beliefs, customs, practices, and socialBehavior: Conduct, manners, the way somebody behaves. behavior of a particular nation or people.Benediction: A prayer asking for God’s blessing, usually at the Development: The process of changing and becoming larger, end of a Christian service stronger, or more impressive, successful, or advanced, or of causing somebody or something to change inBishop: A high-ranking Christian clergyman especially in this way the Roman Catholic, Episcopal, and Orthodox churches. Devonshire: See Clotted Cream.Choice: A decision to choose one thing, person, or course of Discrimination: An act directed against a person who is different action in preference to others. from you, e.g., minorities.Clotted Cream: A thick cream made chiefly in England by slowly Education: Skills obtained from a learning process, training or heating whole milk on which the cream has been schooling. allowed to rise and then skimming the cooled cream 67
    • charitable organization.Elders: Older, more mature, having seniority Grace: Prayer said at mealtimes – a short prayer of thanksEmployee: Staff Personnel, Worker, Laborer to God said before or sometimes after a meal.Enhance: To improve or add to the strength, worth, beauty, or Guardian: Someone who is legally entrusted to manage other desirable quality of something. somebody else’s affairs, especially those of a minor.Etiquette: Rules of acceptable behavior – the rules and History: The past events of a period in time or in the life or conventions governing CORRECT or POLITE development of a people, an institution, or a place BEHAVIOR in society in general or in a specific social or professional group or situation. Homophobia: Irrational hatred of homosexual people – disapproval or fear of homosexuality, gay and lesbianExcuse Me: Apology people, or their culture.Expectation: Expected standard of conduct or performance Inexperienced: Without schooling or experience. expected by or of somebody. Indecent: Offensive to accepted standards of decency.Family: Group of relatives - a group of people who are closely related by birth, marriage, or adoption… Incest: Sex between close relatives - sexual activity between two people who are considered, for moral or geneticFine Dining: Outstanding – far better than the average reasons, too closely related to have such a relationship. Incest is regarded as a serious taboo inFoliate: Relating to or resembling leaves almost every society, although cultures differ as to the extent to which marriages are allowed betweenFormal Dress: Attire suitable to wear for an important occasion, relatives. e.g. a tuxedo for men and a full-length dress for women. Insult: Be offensive to somebody – to say or do something RUDE or INSENSITIVE that offends somebody.Foundation: Support for a building; a part of a building, usually below the ground, that transfers and distributes the Interview: A meeting during which somebody is asked questions, weight of the building onto the ground. Can also be a e.g., by a prospective employer, a journalist, or a 68
    • researcher. Please: Use to make a polite request or command.Interviewer: The person asking the questions in an interview. Pope: The Bishop of Rome and head of the Roman Catholic Church.Invocation: Calling upon a greater power such as God or a spirit for help. Postgraduate: Someone who has graduated from a university or college with a bachelor’s degree, especially one who isKnowledge: General awareness or possession of information, studying for a higher degree. facts, ideas, truths, or principles. Principal: School administrator - the head administrator of aLibrary: A room, building, or institution where a collection of school, especially a grade school or high school. books or other research materials is kept. Professional: Conforming to the standards of skill, competence, orListen: Make a conscious effort to hear; to concentrate on character normally expected of a properly qualified what somebody is saying. and experienced person in a work environment. Rabbi: The religious leader of a Jewish congregation, or theManners: Social behavior, especially in terms of what is chief religious official of a synagogue. considered correct or unacceptable. Resume: Continue something – to continue with somethingMuseums: Place where important things are preserved – a after a temporary halt, or be continued. building or institution where objects of artistic, historical, or scientific importance and value are Resumé: A compilation of education, work experience, and kept, studied, and put on display. other relevant material submitted when seeking a job.Nutrition: Processing of food – the process of absorbing nutrients from food and processing them in the body Roots: The base of something, or the part by which in order to keep healthy or to grow something is attached to the body.Observe: Notice something - to see or notice something, especially while watching carefully. Rude: Ill-mannered, disagreeable or discourteous in manner or action.Parent Somebody mother, father, or legal guardian. 69
    • School: An institution in which children and teenagers are Unrefined: Lacking refinement or social skills. taught, usually up to the age of 17, or a building housing such an institution. Unskilled: Showing a lack of skill or training.Self-esteem: Village: A group of houses and other buildings in a rural area, Self-respect, confidence in your own merit as an smaller than a town. individual. Wardrobe: All the clothes that belong to an individual.Silverware: Metal Tableware – metal knives, forks, and other items of tableware. Wisdom: Good sense shown in a way of thinking, judgment, or action; the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge andStudent: A person who is enrolled to study and learn from a experience. teacher or instructor at a school, college, university, etc.Superintendent: The administrator or manager in charge of school system.Teacher: Somebody who teaches, especially as a profession.Text: A written, typed, or printed version of something such as a speech or a statement.Undergraduate: Student studying for a first degree; a student at a college or university who has not yet received a bachelor’s degree.University: An educational institution for higher learning that typically includes an undergraduate college and graduate schools in various disciplines, as well as medical, law and other professional schools. 70